Gross Movie Reviews #500

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Gross Movie Reviews #500

 

The Dark Dealer (DVD) – This is another independent anthology from a dude, Tom Alexander that is his only director credit. He has done other things in the movie biz but apparently I guess he didn’t like didn’t after this 1995 feature. A young man stumbles into a blackjack game in the basement of an office building that he is running from an electrical force. He is asked to sit down as he has time to wait and each player has their story told by the dealer as he deals them all in for blackjack. First story is about a couple of low life criminals breaking into the wrong old man’s apartment… Pretty cool creature in this one. Second story has a music lawyer stealing dead blues artist music for profit. Third story of course is the young man who stumbled into the game. He is forced by a drug dealer to break into his father’s pharmacy lab company to grab some drugs to sell and all the young man was trying to do was get his girlfriend out of debt and clean. If you are a fan of the 90s version of “The Outer Limits” then this is right up your alley as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Meet the Feebles (DVD) – Peter Jackson’s 1989 effort that wasn’t seen by most audiences until about 1994 after ‘Braindead’ aka ‘Dead Alive’ was dropped on horror fans. Best way to may describe this film is imagine if the Muppets were in a Bizarro parallel dimension. Robert is the newest cast member of the “Feeble” chorus for the ‘Meet the Feebles’ variety hour. Through Robert and his interactions we are introduced to all the cast and the reality of what goes on behind the scenes: sleaze, paternity suits, drugs, disease, a rat filming porn and that is just some of it. Everything seems to be going dandy until Heidi the star is fired when ‘Meet the Feebles’ has now been signed into syndication. To this day it is still one of the weirdest, most glorious films ever made and thank you Peter Jackson as I give it 4 stars!

 

The Goalie (On Demand) – A biopic about one the most famous NHL goaltenders Terry Sawchuk who played most of his career during the 50s and 60s without a goalie mask. Terry was considered then and still considered one of the best goalies to play in the league. The film touches upon how Terry beat himself up just to stay in the game because during this era of hockey goaltenders were considered expendable no matter how good you were. If you had a bad streak one season there was a chance you would be cut for the next guy in the minors and at a time when all the teams only carried one goalie. The story is somewhat sad but very interesting if you never been that big of a fan of hockey or on the other end a super sports nut as I give the flick 4 stars.

 

Black Face Killer (DVD) – This 2009 independent flick is set in 1978 Texas and I know the filmmaker is trying to go all Quentin Tarantino but I feel he failed in trying to go for that. Instead yes the film does come off a little racist. Hell they changed the name of the film to ‘The Minstrel Killer’ when it got picked up for distribution so that is for another conversation. Anyway we have a couple of officers who are stuck together to work a case where a serial killer is believed to be? The theory is the killer happens to be using “slave torture methods” to kill. The film has its sleaze, cannibalistic hillbillies, and a couple dead bodies but overall it is dull and a poor excuse to use the N-word. I am sure there is an audience out there for this film it just ain’t me as I give it 0 out of 4 stars.

Teen Lust (DVD) – Surprise another cool horror comedy from Canada that no one has talked about. Neil is your usual uncomfortable male teenager who has church to go too… The Church of Satan, yes Neil, his best friend, the parents all go to The Church of Satan that is led by the wonderful Cary Elwes as Sheldon. Instead of Neil accepting the hot girl’s invite to the high school party of the year he declines because he must keep his oath of being a virgin and go to church Saturday evening to be sacrificed. Once he is Satan will rise and stop the 1000 years of peace! Right as Neil is about to be sacrificed his best friend Matt grabs him and they escaped only to be chased down the rest of the night by Satanists. But there is hope as Neil goes and visits another great friend Denise who is a girl and actually likes Neil. But just like most teenagers there are glitches and one of them is Neil does it on Denise’s leg before the act gets started. Eventually the Satanists catch up and try to get him back to the altar before sunrise. A very hilarious film in the same vein as the recent ‘Satanic Panic’ as I give it 3 stars.

Skeletons in the Closet (Blu-ray) – I am always excited to watch another Tony Wash project and this was no different as this time it’s an anthology project. But this film is far from your typical anthology formula as it possibly can. Every Friday night a young kid named Jamie never misses her favorite show where a beautiful woman (Ellie Church) and her dead husband rent a horror movie to watch. Just like any horror hosts they do their commentary on it and Jamie watches as we get monster grandmas and kids, a woman dreaming of killing her husband, and thieves who try to find cover in a haunted junkyard. Now I won’t give too much away other than that because I thought Mr. Wash and company did a wonderful job of putting together an anthology unlike most I have seen before. We all know Ms. Church is wonderful but the person that steals the film is Alainia Karner as Jamie as she was perfect casting for the anthology as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

The Phantom (DVD) – The 1996 comic book adaption has the cool Billy Zane as The Phantom, a mystical comic book character that has been long forgotten but is a superhero that is passed down generation to generation to protect the jungle and people from injustice. The setting is 1939 and a criminal mastermind in Treat Williams is trying to gather the three skulls to rule the world and along the way we get the lovely Kristy Swanson for some eye candy. A fun adventure film in the spirit of ‘Indiana Jones’ that I would have loved to see a sequel or two with Billy Zane continuing the character. But instead this 3 ½ star superhero flick was never heard from again exception was that horrible TV mini-series that tried to update a cool character instead of building upon it.

 

Deadly Memories (DVD) – A 2002 Donald Farmer flick about a man losing his wife in a fiery car accident and his daughter falling into a coma because of three twenty-somethings running them off the road. Two years have passed and Art is trying to move on but cops have showed up asking questions again and Art believes he has seen the same young man that was driving that day in the bar. So when people begin to disappear of course the police suspect him because they know he has revenge on his mind. Always enjoy Donald Farmer flicks but this one runs a little longer than it should have but has William Smith, Robert Z’Dar, and Tina Krause for this indy feature I give 2 ½ stars too.

 

Journey to China: The Mystery of Iron Mask (On Demand) – It doesn’t matter what the movie is about listen to this cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jackie Chan, Charles Dance, and Rutger Hauer, I have your attention now correct. Anyway the film is now known as ‘Iron Mask’ but is all about dragons, wizards, and how Arnold allows prisoners fighting him for their freedom. The real plot of this fantasy film is there an imposter princess that has enslaved all her people and is looking for the mystical dragon seal. If found she would control the dragon that sleeps in the cave below them. This international film is full of adventure and effects but for me getting to see Arnold and Jackie fight each other on film was glorious and hilarious. The scene is a must watch for any action film enthusiast as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Vivarium (On Demand) – A boring ass flick about couples who are house hunting but are left by the realtor at a “forever home”. A term the realtor/alien/parasite or whatever takes quite seriously. Once the couple is there they cannot leave. No matter how much they drive, walk, burn down the house or dig there is no escape. They are fed, clothed, but eventually they are given a child to raise. It starts out innocently but quickly understands it isn’t a typical human child. Now this is where the film started bothering me because I was waiting for the payoff… Where the dude just fucking loses it and puts the axe into the skull of the kid or kills the wife. Or goes all ‘Deadly Friend and makes the kid’s head explode? Nope, he just digs and the wife just tries to understand this thing and why? Fuck that, I would of killed one or both because you know yinz are trapped and no way getting out. Sorry keep your artsy wannabe thrillers to yourselves as yinz should have hit the reset button on this project as I give it 0 stars.

 

7 Guardians of the Tomb (DVD) – Kelsey Grammer sends a dude into a known funnel spider cave to find the ultimate cure in order to save his company Biotech.  The sister goes looking for him with a search party full of Biotech researchers with only Kelsey knowing these spiders are more venomous than anything on Earth. And of course it is all about profit margin as the team must fend off these spiders but the big mutant spider that seems to communicate with the rest throughout these endless tunnels some ancient dude made. It’s not any worse than the crap on SyFy Channel the past few years so I give it 1 ½ stars for that.

 

Abby (VHS/YouTube) – William Marshall is Dr. Williams and he heads to Nigeria for research and exploring. Dr. Williams finds an artifact and unleashes a demon force from it that travels to the states and takes over his very religious daughter-in-law. He returns to the states to deal with the possession when his son cannot control Abby any longer. She rampages through their home, the church, and then to the bar so she can kick dudes in the nards as tries to bang them! A fun 70s film from the guy that gave us ‘Day of the Animals’ and ‘Grizzly’ as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

 

Gross Movie Reviews #497

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Gross Movie Reviews #497

 

Party Night (DVD) – In a small town where a few girls have gone missing in recent months does not stop a group of six teenagers from ditching their prom. Instead the longtime friends head out to a remote house to party one last time before they all part ways for college. There is some fun to be had at Mount Pleasant Lake and after some high school drama the killing begins. Little known fact in low budget horror films: girls missing, creepy lakefront property, teenagers drinking, and hormones do mean yinz will die. I wasn’t super impressed with the movie but I got to give Troy Escamilla for actually using actors that look the part and using teenage drama to tell the story. Was I mad I watched it, hell no it put me on notice to keep an eye out for future projects from Troy as I give it 2 stars.

 

Timesweep (YouTube) – Dunbar Film Studios is days from being demolished and the studio has been empty for a decade or two. A group of people along with a local news anchor and cameraman arrive at the building to take one last look at film history. As the group enters the building they are transported through time fighting various things and monsters. Not that you would know they were transported through time you get this through some weird side story that is explained about 50 minutes in. When you hear the explanation you totally get why no one cares about this film? But the real story is what the filmmakers used their budget on because this film had a good sum of money and it looks like none of the money showed up on screen. I give this cheap bootleg of ‘My Science Project’ a ½ star just for the mere curiosity of watching it.

A M3owy St. Patrick’s Day (DVD) – I love Steve Rudzinski as he keeps making movies that I would describe to a normal non-movie watching human and they would think I made something up! The third installment in the series picks up in 1993 where Wally’s father arrests a Leprechaun which causes a curse to be placed on Wally in present day. The curse causes Wally and his famous cat Whiskers to switch bodies. This of course means Whiskers gets to eat anything and everything and Wally is left screaming in a cat’s body! Wally’s partner Ellen, now the only functional one of the group must find the prosecutor and the judge from the 1993 case to lift the curse from all three. As usual Steve’s independent film about cats is absolutely hilarious and is a great G-rated introduction into independent film for folks who don’t watch much of it. I give Steve’s cat flick 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Go check it all out at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

A Meowy Christmas Vacation (DVD) – Steve Rudzinski’s fourth installment picks up from the surprise ending ‘A M3owy St. Patrick’s Day’ where Wally hasn’t been home for months and for good reason. With Wally gone and Ellen still looking for the missing detective Whiskers the cat is paying the bills with funds from its “Instacat” social media posts as apparently millions are following. Meanwhile Wally greeted by an old friend in Rick (Ben Dietels) must adjust to the desolate future of 2050, lizard aliens, and everyone having an eye patch! As Whiskers continues to keep all of Wally’s pets… I mean friends calm until he is back from his long vacation. Wally teams up with the one-eyed warriors to take down Zagel the evil emperor to help prevent this horrible future and get Wally back to 2020. And there is wrestling… Oh and there is Santa Claus. Nope, I am not making this amazing funny shit up. Steve was great again, Ben Dietels was wonderful, and I can’t stop laughing when I think of this movie as I give Steve, his cat, and their friends 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Go check it all out at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

 

World of Death Volume One (Blu-ray) – A wonderful collection of independent short films from all over the world that even has ‘The Muck’ from Tony Wash. Plus this collection also includes one of the best short films out there that I still laugh at in ‘Invaders’ that involves poor judgment by two would be criminals. The surprise short film from this collection though might be ‘Permanent Press’ about a demon in a Laundromat that has possessed a dryer! Not a bad one in the bunch and there is like 30 in this collection so enjoy as I give the anthology 3 ½ stars. Check out www.wodfilm.com if you dare.

 

Frames of Fear (DVD) – Another independent anthology that involves six films introduced by a character named Festering Frank played by acting vet George Stover. All the films had this nostalgic 90s independent DV feel to me and that is a good thing. But the two short films that stood out for me had to be the one where the guys go digging up rare VHS tapes and one zombie comes for them. And of course ‘Wrestlemassacre’ short was just fucking hilarious if you are a 80s wrestling fan. All solid efforts here as I give anthology 2 ½ stars.

 

Brutality (DVD) – An anthology sequel to ‘Frames of Fear’ as it was also titled ‘Frames of Fear 2’. But anyway Festering Frank is back from the dead again to introduce four new tales from Nathan Hine, Brad Twigg, John Ward, Jim Roberts, and Mike O’Mahony with a wraparound story involving Festering Frank. The two stories ‘The Last Days of Livermore’ and ‘What’s Wrong with Mom?’ were ones I have seen in the past but the other two short films are also pretty solid as we get a killer Santa in a storage unit building. And we get some fucked up baby death going down that may have a hidden message to it… or not. Anyway I give this independent anthology sequel 3 stars.

 

VFW (On Demand) – For the love of John Carpenter thank you Joe Begos for making this idea exist! A new drug called “Hype” has hit the streets and screwing up people quicker than ever before. The drug is making zombies or “Hypers” out of people and tearing cities down. Boz is a drug lord who is about to have a huge deal go down and kills the wrong strung out girl as her sister Lizard takes it personally and steals his stash. Nowhere to run Lizard busts into an old VFW where some old vets are just having their daily drink, watch old videos of women exercising, and telling war stories. A couple of drugged out punks follow her in and that was a big mistake as they attack one of the vets. The old vets take care of the trash pretty quickly in a brutal way. This is where the chaos or war begins as the vets must defend the post and themselves from the onslaught of strung out punks because Boz wants his stash no matter what. This film is absolutely FUCKING AWESOME! The casting of Stephen Lang, Fred Williamson, William Sadler, George Wendt, Martin Kove, and David Patrick Kelly as the war vets is perfect. This is my new ‘Assault on Precinct 13’ as I give possibly 2020s best film of the year 4 stars all the way. I will be watching this flick at least once a year.

 

Guns Akimbo (On Demand) – Daniel Radcliffe continues his pick of odd film roles (but we cinema fans love it) where he plays a nerdy character “Miles” who provoked people online who run a game on the dark web called “Skism”. After meeting the man who created it in Miles’ apartment he is knocked out and awakes with guns bolted to his hands. Miles has 24 hours to kill the “Skism” game champion “Nix” played by Samara Weaving. The movie is bonkers in a good off the rails ‘Hardcore Henry’ way as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Lunatic! (DVD) – A short film that runs a little over 38 minutes about two dudes doing a weekend of camping with just the basics. The survival trip includes no cell phones and Scott and Dave are being stalked by an unknown masked maniac. Dave thinks it is a male bonding trip but soon finds out Scott brought him there because Scott has heard about the disappearances in the wooded area and his sister was the latest to disappear. I liked what Erik Vada did with a simple story and how the two characters developed over time. I would have liked it to be a little shorter or get a little more into why this killer exists but hey cannot be too picky as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Low Road (Vimeo) – A Michael McCallum short film that involves a man who is very precise on how to take his revenge for the death of his woman. I give 3 out of 4 stars and don’t forget to check out www.rebelpictures.net .

 

Breaking Wheel (Vimeo) – Another short film from the talented Michael McCallum that involves woman named Nancy who spends months distraught and in disbelief after the disappearance of her boyfriend. Trying to understand the why, what, and how she visits his last destination. As usual great casting, great story, and the shots look perfect as I give this short 3 ½ out of 4 stars and don’t forget to check out www.rebelpictures.net .

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

Gross Movie Reviews #495

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Gross Movie Reviews #495

Hot Dog the Movie! (Blu-ray) – One of the most talked about sex comedies of the 80s has been restored and has goodies added to it by Synapse Films. We have a wholesome farm boy whom an amazing skier is making his way Squaw Valley, CA, for the winter skiing competition. Along the way Harkin our main character picks up the cute-next door type of girl hitchhiking who decides to tag along with Harkin to see where this leads. Once there Harkin soon makes quick friends with a group of skiers known as ‘The Rat Pack’ with his skills on the mountain during practice. As they all have a common foe in an Austrian skier named Rudi who has disrespected Harkin from the beginning. From there when not on the mountain for the competition ‘The Rat Pack’ is busy partying, creating chaos, and debauchery. Just like films of the same era in “Hardbodies”, “Losin’ It”, and “Porky’s” it gives you all the beautiful naked bodies you can handle in many party scenes. But what separates this fun sex comedy classic from most is not just its romantic element between Harkin and the hitchhiker but the amazing ski stunts and the ‘Chinese Downhill’ event to end the film. The way its shot and how its perform is perfect and I believe sometimes gets lost in all of the glorious nudity that we all remember watching as teenagers in the early 80s on Skinamax or HBO! Now imagine that restored with all the bright colors and cleared to perfection… Yes, I know there will be a few of us that will pause on the scenes of breasts for nostalgia? Believe me I don’t blame you even knowing then that the perfect Shannon Tweed was in the film. But the shots of the ‘Chinese Downhill’ are something to behold my friends. With this new restoration we also get a 50-minute documentary about the film which surprisingly they get a lot of who was involved. We also get a commentary and interviews with director Peter Markle and producer Mike Marvin which were not your usual boring stuff. These guys still show much love to the film and proud of the product they put on film. As usual Synapse Films did a supreme job at restoring one of the best sex comedies of the 80s and bringing it to Blu-ray for us fans to enjoy for many years to come. I give this Blu-ray 4 out of 4 stars and more info or to purchase the film can be found at www.synapse-films.com .

 

The Rake (DVD) – A slow burn horror flick from the talented Tony Wash whose story involves a brother and sister named Ben and Ashley whose father a doctor was working on a diagnosis for an insane person Jacob. One night Jacob shows up in their home to slaughter the parents in front of the children and then commits suicide. Years may have passed since the deaths but Ben and Ashley were adopted by a well-adjusted family and Ben was able to get past it. Ashley on the other hand has been in and out of asylums. Nikki their adopted sister whose family took them in is having a house warming party and wants the siblings to attend. Ashley once there begins to regress and speaks of “The Rake” and explains Jacob wasn’t a serial killer but a vessel for something more terrifying that can infect us all. Again a lot of dialogue, slow burn but the payoff with the monster thing is freaking awesome I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Dead Residence (Blu-ray) – Sean Donohue and Gator Blade Films latest is a found footage flick that has first time house flippers in Tampa tackling a home maybe haunted or worst yet, someone besides them living there? Debbie and Patrick have found the perfect home to flip for their first time. Everything goes great and they spend their first nights in the home so they can get they don’t have to travel to work on the interior of the home. But while they sleep each night the new surveillance video picks up something is in the home watching them. During the remodel tools begin to disappear as does food but the couple are unphased until they find a flash drive that has disturbing snuff videos on it. By time the couple realizes where the videos are being filmed at it is already too late for the two. Sean did a great job in keeping someone like me interested in a found footage film as I am not the biggest fan of them. A fun keeping it simple independent film from Sean that serves as a legit warning to house flippers in the future as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Scary Movie (DVD-R) – A definite unknown flick from 1991 that really never got released but pops up a cable network from time to time. Warren is a very sheltered young man who is out for the Halloween holiday with a so-called friend at a haunted attraction. Of course the friend tries to hook up Warren to no avail but Warren’s attention is elsewhere when he hears on a police radio about a convict possibly escaping nearby. This sends Warren into a full panic attack that leads to the misfortune of the attraction shutting down. Interesting movie if there weren’t literally full scenes of nothing going on but Warren losing his grip on reality staring into space. This is one of those films for only the cinema die hards as I give it 1 star.

 

Haunting Inside (DVD) – Sylvia is a young woman who had a mental break because of her parents’ death and her brother Sam is forced to take care of her. She has her good days and bad days as Sam just tries to keep his own life together. Sam, per doctor’s advice goes and purchases several games for Sylvia to help keep her focus and not beat herself up. This excites Sylvia and she takes the Ouija board to her room to play but nothing happens. This disappoints Sylvia but does not stop her interest in the game that is supposed to be about talking to spirits. Second night she tries contacting her parents, still nothing but the next night she breaks through to something or some spirit. The spirit and her develop a relationship even if her doctor doesn’t see much good in this because it is only a game. The spirits look after Sylvia at first but they are actually just preparing her since she is in a fragile state that she doesn’t understand she is being taken advantage of. An absolute wonderful paranormal flick that is well written, well casted, and wish future paranormal flicks will pay attention to “Haunting Inside” as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Church of the Damned (DVD) – Another long lost unreleased Polonia Brothers film that wasn’t finished from 1985. It has intro from Mark Polonia recently explaining the issues with the project. It is a project they started in their senior year of high school about a couple cops who are investigating missing persons. While investigating the two cops stumble upon something called the ‘Brotherhood of Darkness’. It isn’t anything groundbreaking but fun to see again the early work of this talented duo as I give it 1 ½ stars for nostalgic sake.

 

5 Years After the Fall (DVD) – A low budget post-apocalyptic affair where five years ago the world walled off 90% of its population because the lack of food. Now present a young man is having a debate with an older man about what humans should do now until the train derails and he finds himself on the other side of the wall. Jacob soon learns the world has survived but only through cannibalism and the strong taking advantage of the weak. Now in the savage land Jacob must fight off cannibal marauders in order to escape a home he thought he found was safe. From the beginning you are able to see there is a disconnect between script and what is on screen as I give it 1 star.

 

Pickaxe (DVD) – Alex Black is a killer in the woods during the early 80s who slaughtered several people in Woodland Hills. Now 1988, he is believed to dead but rumors begin again as a couple go missing recently. Several high school students head to the parents’ cabin for some hard partying, sex, and preparing to attend a concert. After much nudity Alex gets his slaughter on until Tiffany Shepis and the great A. Michael Baldwin try to put a stop to his killing ways! Getting past the enormous amount of nudity the filmmaker thought the film needed there is some great gore shots but I feel if the film is distorted or confusing? I feel the film may have come across better if scenes were in a different order. The concept seems solid but scenes don’t fit together like it was edited to serve some kind of purpose the filmmaker wasn’t sharing with the viewer as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

Gross Movie Reviews #336

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Gross Movie Reviews #336

 

By Tim Gross

 

Elves (VHS/DVD-R) – An off the wall direct-to-video release in 1989 that stars Dan Haggerity aka Grizzly Adams in a plot that involves virgins, Nazi experiments, New World Order, and evil elves! Brilliant until the movie starts rolling along as the film suffers from lack of budget and direction as the film at times seems like there is parts missing but don’t let that scare you from experiencing a great bad holiday horror film. A teenager is pissed at her mom, scared of her German grandpa, and strikes up an odd relationship with Grizzly Adams for all good reason when evil ninjas aka elves begin to spy on her and try to capture her and kill her friends. Looking for that odd holiday horror film to add to your collection? Well “Elves” is it as I give it 2 stars.

Muck

The Muck (Vimeo) – Tony Wash of www.scotchworthy.com has a new short film that is a throwback to 80s slimy monster flicks that will soon be a part of a big project called “World of Death”. A woman comes home from a workout ignoring the water company’s sign about something wrong with the water and goes for a long hot bath but finds something else? I really liked where Mr. Wash went with this concept and think it would be great if he could get the funding to do a feature-length film called “The Muck”. I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Red Christmas

Red Christmas (Vimeo/DVD) – Steve Rudzinski busy as ever has a new independent holiday horror for all to have under their Christmas trees for years to come and it’s called “Red Christmas”. Tara is a cute twenty-something girl that has a certain fetish or taste for killing as it gets her in the Christmas spirit. But that’s not the only thing; Tara knows there will come a day she will be caught so she wants to keep a video diary of why she is a serial killer so it can make her famous and for people to understand her. Steve as usual is creative with no budget, keeps interesting and unsettling with a couple torture scenes (fingernail removal), and made me wondering if I was watching “Necromantik 3” at one point? Steve giving fans something different every time out may have given independent gorehounds a holiday present that will keep on giving for years to come! I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars and can be purchased at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

Its My Party

It’s My Party and I’ll Die If I Want To (DVD) – Tony Wash’s first project from 2007 was a prelude of things to come as this first time director/writer/producer fresh out of Tom Savini’s school took on a project that deserves more attention than it ever got for what he accomplished! I remember seeing a copy of the film a few years back at a convention but forgot to pick it up. After having a conversation with fellow movie reviewer Mario Dommick I made sure I got a copy to witness the carnage or I should say the greatness this project is… Tony was able to do a beautiful mash-up of my two favorite 80s horror flicks “Night of the Demons” and “Killer Party”. But let’s get to the good stuff, Sara’s birthday is on Halloween and Sara’s friends want to throw her the coolest surprise birthday party that she will remember. And they decide to throw it at Burkitt Manor: a place that just so happens to have a history of murder and hauntings over the past century. After one of Sara’s friends scratches himself on a nail in the attic he soon transforms into something horrifically evil. And by the way the transformation scene is something of beauty, I absolutely loved it! Sara soon arrives to her surprise party and her friends are dying horribly only for her to think it is part of the event at first. Tony Wash did amazing work his first time out and how this project didn’t get him more notice by Hollywood is beyond me??? But if that wasn’t enough the DVD has “adventure mode” where you are able to pick from nine different endings just like the old school “pick your own adventure” books. Think of “Final Destination 3” DVD extras but Mr. Wash did it such a higher level and care. I feel bad I missed it the first time around but glad I came back to it so I could review it. I give the flick 4 out of 4 stars as horror fans this is a must own, a must support, and you must pay attention to upcoming projects from Tony Wash. You can purchase the film at www.scotchworthy.com . Hey Tony, just remember us when you’re famous my friend!

 

The Babadook (On Demand) – Another good horror flick out of Australia that’s a bit of a creepy and scary kid’s tale. A single mom has a boy named Samuel who could be disturbed, autistic, etc., not totally sure but he does not like being separated from his mother. His mother is having a hard time without no husband and dealing with a child that seems to be awake 24/7. One night Samuel brings her a book to read and it’s called, “The Babadook”. After reading a few pages Samuel becomes scared and the mother hides the book. Strange things begin to happen and the book keeps reappearing with new pages and animation of death!  A good scary flick for the mainstream crowd that doesn’t watch many horror flicks as I give it 3 stars.

 

Rec 4: Apocalypse (On Demand) – The successful Spanish zombie/demon/sort of found footage films are supposedly coming to an end with final entry? This time around the film takes place on a boat where apparently Angela the reporter, was taken too after her experience in the apartment house where the viral outbreak took place and is now been burned to the ground. Scientists are doing experiments to come up with a cure or a way to control this virus and must kill any who come in contact with it. All three films get tied into this flick so if you are a fan you will enjoy that and once again “Rec 4” does not disappoint with the crazy gore effects once infected monkey gets loose and Angela and others are trapped. I loved the film and have been a big fan of the series but felt the ending was a letdown and not the ending I was hoping for. But saying that I still give this wonderful foreign horror film 3 stars.

 

Electric Boogaloo: The Wild Untold Story of Cannon Films (DVD/YouTube) – A wonderful documentary about two guys who came to Hollywood and within a decade made Charles Bronson a star again, Chuck Norris what he is today, and many crazy, wacky 80s films that weird film junkies like myself enjoyed.   They went from a joke to be taken serious in a decade and made Hollywood pay attention to them until their debt caught up and the two men had a falling out. Whether we admit or not Cannon Films help shape cinema of today. Dozens of actors, actresses, producers, directors share stories of what went down on sets of many of these films and what it was like working for Cannon Films. This kind of stuff is hilarious to watch and makes you take notes on movies you may have missed over the years as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Zombeavers (On Demand) – I so enjoy when people seem to make movies just for me… and “Zombeavers” is a pleasant idea seen all the way through. A barrel of toxic chemical falls off a dump truck and into a stream where beavers are living. Soon the green shit is all over the beaver’s home and has mutated them to “ZOMBIE BEAVERS”!!! How this hasn’t shown up on SyFy Channel yet I will never know but anyway three college girls are getting away for the weekend to have a drunken girl weekend at a cousin’s cabin. Soon the boyfriends show up to scare the shit out of them but so do the pissed off beavers as they attack couples on sea, on land, where ever the beavers and find flesh to munch on. I give it 3 stars.

 

Housebound (On Demand) – A weird oddity of a horror/comedy to come out of New Zealand about a woman who has been in a host of trouble has been just caught for trying to steal money out an ATM machine. Her lawyer convinces a judge that she can do better if forced to house arrest at home with her mother since she has been in and out of the system for substance abuse and other criminal charges. Once the rules are explained to her by the security officer she begins to hear sounds in the walls and weird things begin to happen but this has gone on for years since her parents bought the house and they both believe they seen something at one point when she was a kid. The film goes from typical haunting PG-13 film to a crazy and hilarious you are not sure what to expect horror film as the security guard gets involved because he is a paranormal expert in his free time. As the girl investigates the house she becomes involved in an unsolved mystery of many years that took place before her parents bought the house. Another great horror film from New Zealand that has a bit of everything that makes it quite entertaining and shows why Hollywood doesn’t have a clue. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

Thor: The Dark World (DVD) – A solid sequel to a boring character that Marvel Films has found a way to make interesting or at least entertaining for me. Unlike the Captain America sequel you do not feel like this film is keeping you in a holding pattern for the “Avengers” sequel. The film explores more of the Thor mythology as Thor must rely on his evil brother Loki to not only save Asgard but Earth as an ancient enemy has reappeared when Jane Foster mistakenly finds a power source that awakens evil elves. As Marvel keeps them coming I will keep watching as I give this sequel 2 ½ stars.

 

Tusk (DVD) – To be honest I did not know what to expect from this Kevin Smith film as a) it’s a horror film and b) critics have destroyed this film publicly from the start but that isn’t any different from anything else Kevin has set out and done. Two podcasters played by Justin Long and Haley Joel Osment have a very popular podcast called, “Not See Podcast”. Each week Justin’s character travels to places to look for stupid, strange stories and comes back home to talk about them on the podcast to his partner. Justin travels to Canada to search out a kid who got 30 million hits on YouTube for cutting his leg off with a sword. He finds out the kid killed himself and wants to find another story before he leaves the Great White North. While using the restroom he finds an ad for an old man who has stories to tell. Long’s character goes to visit him and that is where shit gets truly bizarre and if that isn’t enough for you there is a story about a walrus penis! Want more? How about Johnny Depp as Guy Lapointe plays an investigator who has been trying to track down this old dude who just happens to be a serial killer who has a fascination for walruses. It may possibly be the most creative and bizarre film Kevin Smith has ever done or ever will but it had my attention at this oddity all the way. I promise you the viewer that you have never seen a film quite like this… I give it 3 stars.

 

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Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

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See yinz at Horror Realm March 6-8th, 2015. For details visit www.horrorrealmcon.com .