Gross Movie Reviews #714

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Gross Movie Reviews #714

Venus Die Trap (Tubi) – This independent project attempts to be an intentional B-movie old school style as it mixes old stock film footage with new stuff shot to fill in certain scenes. The story is pretty basic as it centers on a small town in North Carolina where a meteor has fallen to earth in the nearby woods. The residents quickly see weird things happening and blame the meteor out in the woods as venus fly traps have mutated then attack people! The fate of the community rests in the hands of an innocent botanist named Sally. The film has its moments, it doesn’t overstay its welcome on screen, it is a fun homage to movie stuff that if old enough your parents witness these projects at the drive-in as I give is a solid 2 out of 4 stars.

Blood and Rust (Tubi) – In small town Ohio a young man named Lamont believes he is doing the right thing by running his father’s diner and taking care of the transit homeless that wander through from time to time. But Lamont when alone believes he is just a hamster on a hamster wheel running to nowhere especially after he loses his father to a strange animal attack. Enter our other main character Belko the vampire hunter as Lamont learns the hard way vampires are in town to feed and take over. Lamont is all about helping to save this town as long as it helps the homeless and the sheriff doesn’t get involved as the sheriff gives Lamont a hard time. Little that Lamont knows this life changing event can finally help him get off that so-called hamster wheel of life? The concept and how I explain it makes the film sound a lot better than it is… I mean there is a great idea in there I just felt it wasn’t executed well as I give this project 1 ½ out of 2 stars.

Sonny Boy (Blu-ray) – What if I told you there is this bizarre project released in 1989 that stars Paul Smith, David Carradine, and Brad Dourif you would most likely say “I’m in!” To top it off let me just point out David Carradine does the main song and plays a woman in the film. Plus, Paul Smith owns a cannon that he uses to shit people with if they cross him? Those who have seen this understand and respect the bizarre beauty of this film. This oddity of a story begins in 1970 at a remote hotel where Weasel (Brad Dourif) steals a car unknowingly with a baby in back as he brings it to Slue and Pearl as they are a couple criminals who run a desert town with their wheeling and dealing ways. The couple, mostly Slue, raise the child in their bizarre wicked way to help them take down people who don’t agree with their antics. Years go by until the baby is a full grown adult and the small town has had enough of these criminals. This was a film that you would only hear stories of existing for years as I was lucky enough to get my hands on a bootleg tape many moons ago but now has a great cleaned up physical media copy that needs to be seen in order to understand anybody that has described this wild project! If you are a big movie buff and have not witnessed this you need to fix it right now as I give this project 3 ½ stars.

Invisible Shark (DVD-R) – Independent filmmaker Douglas Waltz is at it again with this wild idea that would make you think old school SyFy channel would have made three of these? No they didn’t as Mr. Waltz makes his David “the rock” Nelson picture where a small town sheriff and deputy are forced to believe there is a shark in their waters when a mangled body washes up on the beach. No one sees the attacks but they see the aftermath as this invisible creature attacks residents of Poloniaville! It takes some time but the police figure out because of the killer animal’s invisibility it doesn’t play by the rules of a regular shark which can work to their advantage of saving the residents. This project is truly wild and insane but this rough cut proves Mr. Waltz believes in giving viewers something wildly strange that they might be missing in their movie watching as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Bone Sickness (Blu-ray) – This somewhat forgotten Indy gem from Brian Paulin in the early 2000s may finally get the credit and kudos it deserves as the movie has found new life in this new special edition. So Alex is a young guy who is terminally ill with a wife Kristen who will do anything to extend Alex’s life or cure him of his terrible disease. Alex’s best friend Thomas comes up with an idea of feeding Alex bone marrow from the recently departed believing this could help him as Kristen is okay with this too. Alex unknowingly is being fed this and begins to go through some sick and gruesome changes that do cause him hunger for blood, nevermind this causing the dead to rise. As Kristen and Thomas believe they were doing what’s best for Alex’s hunger and health, the film slowly turns into this dream-like zombie gorefest that goes way beyond the usual independent zombie stuff we are used to. Paulin’s project is bizarre, gritty, and an absolutely exciting gooey splatterfest that needs to be cherished. Feels like a crazy combo of Meat Market meets Fulci! Rewatching this movie made me appreciate how freakin good it is and many of the filmmakers out there need to watch and rewatch ‘Bone Sickness’ to understand you can do what you do with passion and little money… It can be done! This special edition that is so worth owning has a new commentary with Brian Paulin and Rich George, another commentary from Cult Movie Obsessives, a new location tour segment, and a featurette “The Morbid History of Bone Sickness” along with some of the older extras from the previous DVD from in the early 2000s. 4 out of 4 stars from beginning to end!

Amityville Bloodlines (Blu-ray) – Oh I have tracked more down as we go with entry #83 from the young filmmaker Blaize Tudor as he brings this sequel to his ‘Amityville Bloodbath’. The 34 minute film brings in a few independent vets we all know and love to tell the story of Dr. Trevor and his experiment “Skull Face” who has been let loose in Amityville killing all big and small in the town. Because of the curse or legacy of Amityville this evil experiment cannot be killed. Also after listening to some of the commentary from Blaize Tudor it helped me understand ‘Amityville Bloodbath’ as I see this as more of a ‘Evil Dead/Evil Dead 2’ thing of its not a remake but not a true sequel also? Confusing, I know but I believe the young man Blaize has stumbled onto something that he left a lot that could be done with this idea unknowingly? I saw Skull Face as more of the curse of Amityville that could go full serial killer or supernatural killer as this got away from the Amityville house in general… Skull Face could be a ghostly entity that continues the curse of the town? Maybe to make a little more sense so yinz don’t feel like I am completely insane, think “In a Violent Nature” as I give this project 2 out of 4 stars. Also too would like to point out it was cool to hear Blaize in his commentary be somewhat critical of his past project connecting to this as some independent commentaries try to beat into you they made the perfect project. 

Critter Collection Volume One (DVD) – Matthew Mark Hunter digs deep to give audiences eight short films of terror that deal with a boy being bitten by a cricket, a man being haunted by a roach in his motel room, a story about a giant centipede or Dinopede, a man collecting bugs and regrets the aftermath, two segments that were made nine years apart about a rat terrorizing a man, puppet bunnies fearing for their lives as one wants to leave the forest. So if you are not a fan of killer animals or bugs this no budget fun may haunt you as I give the project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Amityville Webcam (Blu-ray) – Welcome to entry #84 that has been floating around for a bit of time but getting to watch it on streaming or physical media form has only been made available recently. Premise of this entry into the series is about demons webcamming in their time off to play a role playing game where they are humans and deal with a possessed webcam. I give it credit for doing something different for sure but I believe it tells its story in 60 minutes and then just repeats for the next 40 minutes after. Again a solid different concept for the series but goes way too long. Don’t get me wrong this isn’t a ‘Mt. Misery Rd.’ mess as I can only give this entry 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Last + Last After All (DVD) – An animated 16 minute short film broken into two segments of a possible post-apocalyptic Pittsburgh. The first one is about a person who just recently woke up in this new wasteland only to find out they might be the last human alive. The second segment is an odd pair wandering the wasteland. I would love to say I enjoyed it but to me it felt incomplete? But also I am not a huge animation guy so I could be missing something as I give this 1 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Bed & Breakfast (Blu-ray) – Entry #85 literally goes in a direction I am surprised it took this long to get too? This entry into the series has two brothers buying the haunted property cheap because of unpaid taxes. Their challenge for their streaming house flipping show is to fix up the property to make it a bed and breakfast to help the community get rid of the so-called bad PR the house has had since the original murders. As the Beaver brothers progress into the project and weird things begin to happen immediately they learn through some documents that everything might not be supernatural? The Beaver brothers struggle to deal with the so-called fixer upper as the crew keeps disappearing and cash runs low but they get through it all to accomplish their task in this very entertaining entry into the series as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Easter (Blu-ray) – Oh entry #86 into the Amityville series goes in the weird but not totally unexpected direction as a group of influencers head to the Amityville estate at the edge of the Amityville community for an interview with a famous widow that could mean more subscribers and money for them. The property besides being owned by a widow was also the site of a famous murder by a deranged half bunny/half human killer. The influencers were only allowed to be present on the property if they would agree to the widow’s terms and all their equipment was turned over to the butler when they arrived but this group is desperate for content. As they spend the night there things immediately get weird for the influencers from seeing the widow looking very sexual (best way to describe it) and the female influencers made to do an easter egg hunt? All this just for an interview that is believed to be a big pay day unless the half bunny/half human can stop killing them all. This project has its moments and I give it kudos for just being odd from the start so if you need to see a rather weird entry into the series? Look no further as I believe this would be way better to watch with a group as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

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Gross Movie Reviews #699

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Amityville Corndog (YouTube) – So entry #76 became a thing recently as this short film from filmmaker Blaize Tudor stars some talented folk in Mel Heflin and Ralph Rey along with Blaize himself. A group of friends have a get together one weekend and of course a friend has brought the Ouija board to play! Using the board of death the group brings forth the spirit of a killer corndog as one by one they become victims of said corndog. Yes it is completely absurd and I love it as this short film into the series gets 3 out of 4 stars.

Project Genesis (Tubi) – Holy ballsacks people this movie goes all over the place for well over two hours. So this dude that isn’t from around this village, an outsider in 1992 disrupts a ritual overnight that allows dead bodies to fall from the sky. Fast forward to 2023, Stella the small child who went looking for her outsider daddy has a daughter of her own with nowhere to live. As her mother has fallen ill Stella heads back home as she is asked to go looking for her missing father who screwed shit up? With an old radio Stella is able to contact her father once a year according to her mother as once in contact that’s when shit gets completely confusing and wild. There is time travel, zombies, dinosaurs destroying cities, portals, these weird rings, dimension jumping all because the C.I.A. wanted the tech of course in this crazy ass and good luck Thai film I can only give 2 stars too.

Fatal Desires (Tubi) – Wow, Sean Donohue, a super talented filmmaker out of Florida digs in the bag of throwbacks (when the Skinamax existed) to pull out a sexually charge thriller we haven’t seen since the early 90s. A very beautiful couple is having sexual issues as they agree to employ a high end therapist to help them with their troubles. The therapist turns the tables on them as she tries to earn their trust and attempts to seduce both for her own devious reasons. In the end as the couple is full of sex and regret the therapist is able to lead the couple down a dark road against each other. This feature will surely not be for everyone but Mr. Donohue does his best to remind those of us that remember those days of the erotic thriller there is still great stories to be told especially when you have an all-star Indie cast to help pull it off. For that I give the feature 3 out of 4 stars.

Members Club (Tubi) – This horror comedy out of the UK is something I absolutely heard nothing about but glad I gave it a chance as the feature opens with a park sign reading “No Dogging”… I was hooked immediately! Quickly we are introduced to a group of male strippers who have aged out of the profession but refuse to stop. Their brilliant name for the group is “Wet Dreams”! Wet Dreams is offered a gig of the lifetime as it is a sold out venue as its unlikely they are going to have an opportunity like this again to perform in front of a sold out crowd. All are drugged before the show and quickly are told they are sacrifices for an evil ritual to bring forth an old witch that is looking for revenge hundreds of years later. Things don’t exactly go according to plan as the strippers must fight the witch in order to escape the terror in this somewhat gory and uncomfortable fun feature as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Sound of Horror (YouTube) – So recently I watched a newer horror film called ‘Invisible Raptor’ as someone pointed out there was an older Spanish flick that did the concept first. So I went down the wormhole to go find this 1966 b-flick where an archeologist and friends go treasure hunting in a mountain that has urban legends about it. The locals fear the mountain but that doesn’t stop this group from digging away to find a petrified egg and a mummy thus disturbing the invisible dinosaur that roams inside the mountain. The group must make the hard decision to either leave or die trying to find the so called legendary treasure as I give the film 2 stars.

Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon: Christmas Special (Blu-ray) – The entertaining and talented Addison Binek is back at it again as he brings forth a collection of his famous holiday cheer episodes to a better format for fans. As Mr. Binek refers to himself as “Addy Claus” goes the road of the usual holiday horror with a couple of oddities that will make you turn your head slowly in that creepy Michael Myers way in confusion but yet delight. Remember not all of them can be hits as he quite gets into the spirit of riffing on such features: Jack Frost, Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Killer Snowman, Santa Claws, Christmas Evil, Santa’s Slay, Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys, To All a Goodnight, Slaughter Claus, Cannibal Claus, Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventures, Santa Claus: Serial Rapist, Krampus: The Christmas Devil, The Elf, Once Upon a Time at Christmas. This set is not only for the holiday horror die hards but for folks that just like to laugh at quirky cinema they never knew could be this funny as why I give this set 4 out of 4 stars.

Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon: The Holiday Leftover Edition (Blu-ray) – This might be Addison’s most interesting and hilarious collection to make it to the Blu-ray format for fans as Mr. Binek really goes all out to truly make this the weirdest collection of leftovers a must have. Addison starts off strong as he gives us Easter Bunny Kill Kill!, no matter how tasteless or uncomfortable it makes him while riffing on it. Unlucky Charms continues the laughter as it makes Addison question if there was ever a plot? He quickly moves right onto Peter Rottentail that only confuses him because the lack of rabbit references and the filmmakers not truly understanding how magic works. Mr. Binek then really digs into Plan 9 from Outer Space as it is considered a Halloween treat for some so he can make sense of it for others. As he goes back to an Easter film in Easter Casket Addison only finds he gets upset there isn’t more candy in plastic Easter eggs but believing every scene is filmed in a rando hotel room. And then he reaches Blood Freak … (remake from Daniel Boyd and Tim Gross) which makes Addison convinced Thanksgiving is only a holiday for doing drugs? From there Addison brings out a Home Alone sequel I literally didn’t know existed? But leave it to the famous Indie label Mail Order holiday horror to have Addison question if watching all these projects was even a good idea especially when he lays into Hell on the Shelf. If that wasn’t enough Amityville Thanksgiving leaves Addison questions about gift wrapping and not understanding this entry is a holiday entry into the Amityville series. All this leads into two oddities of the holiday leftover edition that features Cookie Christmas movie which is truly bizarre and can only be believed if watched along with the underrated and possibly one of the most brilliant horror sequels of all time in Leprechaun in the Hood! As you can tell I have always been a fan of Addison’s work and his riffing on movies but this “Holiday Leftover Edition” might be the crown jewel as he digs deep for projects that most don’t know about along with one or two that you have come across on Tubi or something with great curiosity as this must own Blu-ray without a doubt gets 4 out of 4 stars.

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