Gross Movie Reviews #592

0

Christmas Craft Fair Massacre (YouTube) – In this Indy holiday flick we have an appearance of Glen Coburn and it was directed by someone named Max Raven… Anyhow a school is in question where the annual Christmas Craft Fair is held as it seems to be the center for satanic power and the worshipers are clashing on who deserves the ultimate power. But the principal is the ultimate bad guy here as he is looking for a pure soul for the offering and does not want to share the glorious power! The film doesn’t have a long running time but does have problems ever get going as I give this film 1 ½ stars (always great to see Glen Coburn).

Adult Swim Yule Log “aka The Fire Place” (HBO Max) – Looking for something that truly shouldn’t make as much sense as it does? Then you have found it in this fucking over the top crazy ass holiday horror! After a couple minutes of watching a fireplace, we get talking in the background, a cleaning lady being killed by two intruders, cops, a couple who rented the place and films the fireplace for a living, uninvited double booked guests, a possessed Yule log, sexual tension between all, and if that wasn’t enough aliens! Yes kids I believe that covers everything that goes down in only something the people behind “Adult Swim” could come up with so grab the popcorn as I believe this will become a holiday staple for years to come as I give this ultimate holiday weirdness 3 ½ stars.

On the Trail of Bigfoot: Last Frontier (Vimeo) – Writer and director Seth Breedlove takes a deep look with a documentary that dives into the bigfoot lure of Alaska. He interviews real people who tell stories of strange creatures that wander the Alaskan wilderness. The film is not dull by any means and will have Bigfoot film lovers gushing over this project as Seth and crew not just get great stories but bring in researchers for some expiations, again real normal people, but explaining the different regions of Alaska and how a lot of us in the lower 48 states may not understand how these strange creatures could actually exist there? I enjoyed the process of this film, the seriousness, and especially the feel of it as it brings back some memories of the Bigfoot stuff of the seventies. This has to be one of the more recent projects that actually had me entertained but truly interested. Bigfoot lovers should be on the lookout for this wonderful project as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Sewer Gators (DVD-R/YouTube) – Well it’s a week before the big gator festival in southern Louisiana and someone just got their ass eaten through their toilet (reminder it’s a joke that is mentioned several times during the film). Now the local drunk sheriff must investigate and stop this horrendous and vicious beast before it wrecks the big festival. No budget, cheesy as hell, not much blood, but lots of references to “Jaws” and I think there was one or two to “Alligator” unintentionally as I give this sloppy gator mess 1 ½ stars.

The Peanut Butter Solution (DVD) – An 80s film that for whatever reason I never seen as a kid or just never tracked down until recently (received a special edition recently after very hard to find for years). This New World Video release has a boy named Michael scared so bad in the burned out house down the street that he loses his hair. After his sister gets involved and they get a spell or such from some ghosts they use it to make a special peanut butter that makes Michael’s hair regrow but it doesn’t stop. Weird stuff happens with the art teacher, kids are disappearing, and apparently the house that burned is haunted. This is truly a weird ass film that could only have been released in the 80s like a “Saturday the 14th” but seeing it now doesn’t do the impact as it did then for people my age that grew up during that time. Glad to see it got a special edition and sure it has a small cult following like one of my favorites “Spookies” as I give this 80s weirdness 2 stars.

Violent Night (On Demand) – It is Christmas Eve and after a drunken stop in Bristol, England, Santa Claus is on his way to deliver presents believing this will be his last year as no one believes anymore. He makes it to the family ‘Lightstone’ compound to visit a little girl name Trudy and that is where a series of misfortunes for our holly jolly hero begin as his reindeer have left him. To make matters worse a group of mercs have descended onto the compound to steal 300 million dollars and they have Trudy as a hostage. Now a reluctant old Santa must make a choice of saving the family or just leave because this is none of his business? This is a wonderful, delightful, blood-filled Santa action flick that I know I will be watching every year around the holidays as the cast was perfect and the story never got dull as I give this film 4 stars! It is a holiday film with heart.

Burglar From Hell (DVD) – A much talked about SOV film from 1993 with a rabid fan base is about a man named Frank “the tank” who breaks into an old lady’s home only to be shot and killed during it. If that wasn’t enough poor Frank is buried in the backyard. Some time passes and some friends have a party at the house only to have a friend have a séance. Of course the young drunken people interrupt the process and up raises an undead Frank to go a murder spree as he rots away. Hilariously rough and gritty but definitely can see why the Indy community enjoys this film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Runaway Train (DVD) – This 1985 flick has an all-star cast throughout about an older convict played by Jon Voight who shows up at a hard-nosed prison run by the warden played by Jon P. Ryan. From the beginning Voight’s character is planning to get out but he will need some help and that will be a young Eric Roberts who is more of a follower to the older convict. Once escaped it becomes a cat and mouse game between the warden and the two convicts as Voight finds a train for the two. But unforeseen circumstances happen as the conductor has a heart attack and falls off and now the two must decide do they stop it or let it ride to their doom? A well-constructed action/drama that I never heard much about but glad I got to see it as I give it 3 stars.

Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell (DVD/Shudder) – Thirty years after a dude butchers a young lady in a home and buries her under the floor boards his son comes to the house. He brings along a psychic and his girlfriend and they all find themselves trying to survive some evil supernatural shit! An enjoyable gooey mess from Japan in 1995 that is very “Evil Dead” inspired that will make international horror fans very happy it has had a wide release as I give it 3 stars.

Hell Roller (DVD) – A sleazy 1992 no budget flick that stars Mary Woronov, Michelle Bauer, Hyapita Lee, and Johnny Legend so of course this had my immediate attention. But the real star attraction of this film is our killer in a wheelchair! A dude in a wheelchair who is homeless, angry, having nightmares, and twitching goes on a murderous rampage after his adopted mother/aunt is raped and murdered one evening. This is one of those flicks that its content will not be for everyone but has an entertainment value of bad jokes, sleaze, and Michelle Bauer of course that will appeal to those who haven’t had the pleasure of watching yet? This entertained the shit out of me as I give it 3 stars and yes full movie is on YouTube… for now. Also I have one question after you watch this: Please explain to me how this wheelchair bound dude was always on a rooftop meeting people?

Baby Ghost (DVD) – Filmmaker Donald G. Jackson project that stars a Joe Estevez as a down on his luck photographer trying to help people escape a building that happens to have a ghost problem. This 1995 film feels more like an unfinished project where they had use of an empty building and eventually got bored and threw in a bad special effect ghost to sell the movie? If anything Conrad Brooks fans will enjoy “Three Stooges-lite” kind of comedy as I give this 1 ½ stars.

Mad Heidi (On Demand) – Casper Van Dien is the president of Switzerland who is trying to have scientists come up with a better cheese for their annual Swiss Day that can make super soldiers for him to control! If that one sentence doesn’t sell it to you then I suggest moving on because this hilarious Swissplotation goes well beyond the point of good taste and involves where the government is tracking down lactose intolerant people to imprison them. Meanwhile a beautiful lady named Heidi has just witnessed her boyfriend’s head exploded by an evil leader of the Swiss army and grandpa blown up. This only serves as inspiration for the young lady in prison to escape and start an uprising against the president and his vision for global domination! In the spirit of “Grindhouse” and “Sharknado” this movie goes for the throat on laughs and at times gore as Heidi slaughters her way to freedom as I give this film 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #519

0

Gross Movie Reviews #519

 

Bloodfist V: Human Target (DVD) – This time around Don “the Dragon” Wilson stars as Jimmy Stanton who wakes up in the hospital with amnesia. The super-hot Denice Duff is paid $500 to go into his room and claim to be his wife to take him home after he wakes. Quickly she gets involved in something much bigger as some mob guys come by at every opportunity to kill Jimmy. As Jimmy tries to figure out who he truly is the NSA comes a knocking to explain he was undercover as part of a Chinese smuggling organization. Not knowing who to believe as usual he goes out on his own with Ms. Duff to clear his name and kill every bad guy in his way! A fun and hilarious direct-to-video bootleg of Steven Segal’s ‘Hard to Kill’ with no real serious villain as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Bloodfist VI: Ground Zero (DVD) – In this entry Don “the Dragon” Wilson is an Air Force officer who is delivering classified material to a missile complex. Instead of a simple delivery he stumbles into a siege in progress on the missile site to set off a nuclear war. Eventually Mr. Wilson makes his way into the highly secured underground facility to save the day as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Bloodfist VII: Manhunt (DVD) – Don “the Dragon” Wilson is Jim in this entry into the series where it teaches you not to pick up strange hot blondes in a bar. After a night with the hot blonde Jim is accused of being a cop murderer and Steven Williams is on the job to track Jim down to bring him to justice. Jim must not only clear his name but bring down the drug ring within the LAPD as I give it 2 stars.

 

Bloodfist VIII: Hard Way Out (DVD) – The last entry for Mr. Wilson has him as a high school teacher with a past in the CIA that catches up to him. Assassins are out to kill him as part of a cleanup operation as his former boss is expected to be declared the new head of the CIA. He heads over seas to keep his teenage son safe but that only slows the CIA down for a day before they catch back up as I give this last entry for “The Dragon” 2 stars.

 

Bloodfist 2050 (DVD) – This 2005 entry into the series made eight years after the original series is a Filipino post-apocalyptic film set in L.A. 2050 that begins with some stock footage of 80s Filipino post-apocalyptic films. Then we are introduced to a young man named Alex that when he isn’t banging the local stripper he gets wrapped up in a famous fighting ring. This is supposedly going to help him find his brother’s killer and make some money along the way. The film is kinda of dull and been done before aka the first ‘Bloodfist’ movie, this entry just has a lot more boobage in it as filler scenes with a few strippers dancing as I give it 1 star.

 

The New Mutants (On Demand) – This was that forgotten or shelved supposedly horror film starring mutants that we all wondered about but weren’t really excited about. If bored, the film isn’t that bad as teenage mutants are sent to an asylum that is funded by the Essex Corporation for scientific research. The teens are told it is for their own good but as a new mutant is introduced into the group they are being haunted by their own fears and must ban together to defeat their fears. This film just comes off as a misfire more than a bad movie and most likely besides being caught up in the whole Fox/Disney takeover was just a rushed project as it seems like the ‘X-men’ phase of superhero films were ending??? Anyway it is still worth a watch if you can’t find much else as I give it 2 stars.

 

Jiu Jitsu (On Demand) – If your brain needs something like a ‘Hardcore Henry’ to fulfill that feeling this might be the project for it? A weird comic bookish story about an interdimension being that comes to Earth every six years at this ancient temple to fight the best warriors alive. If the warriors disagree or do not fight the being it will just destroy the Earth. Seems simple enough as when all the crazy MTV action fight scenes are not happening with Tony Jaa and others we get just enough crazy Nic Cage to keep you interested till the end. The action film is entertaining and filled with some good fight scenes but the ‘hero’ character of the plot isn’t someone I feel fans will care about and hurts the film overall. I still give it 2 ½ stars for all its action but I would say check out ‘Triple Threat’ before you get ass deep into this movie.

 

Terminator: Dark Fate (DVD) – You can make fun of me for watching the whole ‘Bloodfist’ series for no reason. But for those who are fans of this series of films you know this series was done after the third entry, correct? ‘Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines’ the most pointless film ever made! This sequel/reboot tries its best to be pointless but really seems to recycle the storyline we just digested in ‘Terminator: Genisys’… I personally just watch the films because of Arnold but if you are just looking for something dumb to watch here you go! Spoiler alert: Skynet does not exist any longer and it is now called Legion. Not saying but just saying this should have been done when they decided to make the third film. Hey Hollywood if you are going to do this again just give us the humans vs. terminators post-apocalyptic war film in 90 minute form otherwise it is just dumb as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Llamageddon (DVD) – This wonderful creation is about an alien llama that crash lands on Earth in a small community and begin its takeover! When the llama isn’t stomping a victim with its hooves it is killing people with its laser eyes. Yes, you heard me correctly people when its shoots lasers from its red eyes fireworks go off. The alien llama stumbles upon a house party of young people where it begins killing them one by one but also spits on one party goer to have him begin a transformation. This independent film has it all folks and I absolutely laughed my ass off as the alien llama tries to destroy us all! If that isn’t enough pay attention to their drinking game as the character Dan changes shirts in every scene (17 times if I counted correctly?) I cannot thank filmmaker Howie Dewin enough for giving us this amazing gem of cinema as I give it 4 stars all the way!

 

Fatman (On Demand) – So what do you do with a super racist actor that may have ruined his career forever? How about have him play the role of Chris Cringle aka Santa Claus. This isn’t your typical holiday film as a young man is given a lump of coal for Christmas and this upsets him to the point of hiring a hitman to kill Santa Claus. If Santa doesn’t have enough to worry about he has to take on a government contract in order to make ends meet so he can continue giving good boys and girls presents once a year. This holiday film goes far off the reservation in this dark comedy to bring a holiday story that is just perfect for us weirdos. Santa isn’t your typical jolly red coat figure we all remember he is portrayed as a normal old guy just trying to get by with what he has. Difference is this Santa has been doing it for hundreds of years and I refuse to describe more of the movie because I like how the story tells you just enough to explain everything quickly to keep the flow going. This holiday gem gets 3 ½ stars and will most likely become a yearly watch for me.

Piranha Sharks (DVD) – Think sea monkeys kids! A science project gone wrong and now the military no longer interested in the project presents a problem: what to do with the piranha sharks? How about sell them as the hottest new product to get through an infomercial? And that is what two weird idea guys come up with as they sell them by the millions becoming rich overnight. But of course things quickly go wrong as the piranha sharks are reproducing out of control and starting to attack people anytime the water is turned on. Not even Jose Canseco pleas for his favorite thing can stop a couple exterminators from coming up with an idea to save New York City! Even a mayor played by Kevin Sorbo (who is Winnie the Poohing it around the office)  hopes the exterminators come up with an idea to save them all before all out nuclear assault as I give the entertaining film 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Christmas Horror Comes Early! Santa Slasher All Through the House Now on VOD, DVD & Blu-ray

0

Los Angeles, CA – Spread the Christmas fear with All Through the House – a Santa slasher film making its U.S. debut on all major VOD platforms October 4, 2016, released by Gravitas Ventures. All Through the House is produced by The Readmond Company. It was written and directed by Todd Nunes. VOD Platforms, hosting the launch, include: iTunes, Vudu, Google Play, Hulu, Playstation, Amazon, and Microsoft. The DVD/Blu-ray version is available on Amazon.

all-through-the-house-todd-nunes-movie-poster

Jessica Cameron is part of the primary cast. She says of All Through the House: “I have always loved holiday horror films, and am so thrilled to have been involved with two thus far in my career. All Through the House is a refreshing take on the sub genre with a fun 80’s influence that I know the fans will adore as much as I do. The director Todd Nunes, is a phenomenal talent and mark my words, this is just the beginning of what will be a brilliant career. I can not wait to see what he does next!”

Jessica Cameron will join the cast and crew of All Through the House at a DVD/Blu-ray signing on Sunday, October 30, 2:00pm – at Dark Delicacies, in Burbank, CA.

Hot off the festival circuit, All Through the House has received 20 nominations and nine awards including: Best Slasher, Best Editing, and Audience Choice Award (RIP Horror Film Festival, Hollywood), Best Director (Hardcore Horror Fest, Chicago), and Best Local Feature (Another Hole in the Head, San Francisco).

Director Nunes loves slasher films. Nunes says of his latest: “All Through the House is my love letter to the early 80’s slasher films. I think we put together all the right ingredients – scream queens, practical effects, and big scares to make old school horror fans very happy.”

All Through the House stars Ashley Mary Nunes (SYFY’S Robot Combat League), Jessica Cameron (Truth or Dare), Jennifer Wenger (Tales of Halloween), and Lito Velasco (Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy). The film’s gory special effects were created by Tommy Pietch of SYFY’S Face Off and Star Trek: Renegades.

Official Synopsis: Fifteen years ago, a peaceful Christmas neighborhood was engulfed by fear when five-year-old Jamie Garrett was mysteriously taken from her bedroom, never to be seen again. Now on Christmas break, Rachel Kimmel comes home from college to find her neighborhood struck again by a reign of terror. A violent killer is hiding behind a grisly Santa mask, leaving a bloody trail of slaughtered women and castrated men on the steps of the Garrett house. Rachel finds herself in a horrifying nightmare as she discovers the twisted secret behind the mask.

Critical Praise: “Nunes does a fantastic job of making sure to keep the blood flowing and having each kill be distinctive and superb in its own way.” – The Movie Sleuth

All Through the House is the perfect stocking stuffer, the perfect present under the tree. It’s an unpredictable gore fest filled with holiday cheer and unadulterated horror” – Horror Society

All Through the House was shot in 21 days in the summer of 2014 in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Lake Arrowhead, CA. Director/Writer Todd Nunes is currently at work on his next horror film Death Ward 13, a remake of the cult classic Don’t Look in the Basement.

Full Cast: Ashley Mary Nunes, Jessica Cameron, Melynda Kiring, Jennifer Wenger, Lito Velasco, Natalie Montera, Jason Rayer, Johanna Rae (Natural Born Filmmakers), Cathy Garrett, Matt Poeschl (“Entourage”), Danica Riner, Kelsey Carlstedt, Lyndon Laveaux, Justice Lee, Sarah Miller, Milijana Riner, Noah Boylen, John Nunes, and Sky Boylen.

US • 2016 • 16:9 • Stereo • 95 mins • Unrated

All Through the House, a feature-length film by The Readmond Company, 4700 W. Jefferson Blvd, Suite 101, Los Angeles, CA 90016. allthroughthehousemovie@gmail.com, www.allthroughthehousemovie.com, https://www.facebook.com/allthroughthehouseSLASHER

Official Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88A5sj4nFFs