Gross Movie Reviews #403

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Gross Movie Reviews #403

 

Asylum of Darkness (Vimeo/VOD) – We have a film about a lone man named Dwight who questions if he is insane, if things are real, etc.? All Dwight knows he must get out of the asylum and back into the real world because he believes he is not insane. The time comes, Dwight breaks out and tries run away from his craziness… maybe. But witnessing a car accident and helping the driver inside Dwight takes over a man’s life (Art Finsch). On the inside its Dwight, on the outside it is a man named Art: author, womanizer, crappy marriage. Dwight measuring up or just trying to gauge his situation decides to try and fix the marriage and just enjoy his second chance at life. But whatever to the beautiful woman that visited him in the asylum, who is weird white-haired man following him, and what happened to the real Art Finsch? The movie can become a little confusing at times, feel a little long (close to 2 hours), but with the casting of genre vets Tiffany Shepis and Tim Thomerson in supporting but important roles the film can be quite interesting. Once the film ends you still question who is who or what happened or if it did? But it is one of those weirdo films that you should keep in the back of your mind when looking for something different to watch than a straight up horror flick. I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

 

District B13 – A kind of futuristic/post-apocalyptic film that involves a fitness craze of par-core (I think, remember my only exercise is drinking beer and watching weird flicks like this…) and martial arts and putting ‘Escape from New York” into 2010 Paris. Understand the film was made in 2005 and there is a sequel if you like this flick? A wall has been built around the ghettos of Paris to keep the gangs walled off from Paris and the police just hang there until they are given orders to leave before the government decides to wipe the area clean innocent people or not. Leito is just a bad ass dude who protects his sister inside ghetto B13 and throws drugs away from a gang that harasses him. Leito tries to do the right thing and the police do not care. Now Leito is in jail, the rival gang has his sister, and there just so happens to be a bomb in the middle of the ghetto that is going to kill everyone. So some elite officer Damien breaks out Leito for help to stop the “Clean Bomb”. The movie reminds of those direct-to-video movies and sequels to ‘American Ninja’ and ‘Kickboxer’ that came out in the early 90s. I give the movie 2 ½ stars.

 

Strip Club Massacre (Vimeo/DVD) – Megan is having a bad life right now. All in one day the beautiful Megan loses her job, her boyfriend to her rich roommate, and her place of living. Forced out she heads to Georgia to an old best friend’s place until she can get on her feet again. Once there her best friend’s boyfriend hooks her up with a waitress job at his strip club. Megan is warned the club is not your usual strip club and Megan is warned not to cross the main stripper “Jazz” played by Erin Brown aka Misty Mundae. Megan ignores and begins her job and just tries to make enough money to go back to school. Some weird things go down but Megan tries to push on. Megan gets invited to a employee only party and proceeds to be drugged and raped! Megan has had enough and goes on a murderous rampage in the strip club. Simple, bloody, lots of boobs, and the movie shouldn’t have lasted as long as it did. I give this flick 1 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.braindamagefilms.com .

 

Miles Before Sleep (DVD) – Friends are taking a trip to the beach and they have problems just like normal people: who’s pregnant? Who’s the baby daddy? Why did we take the one friend that wants to see Kayne in concert? The friends are traveling through West Virginia and of course their car has a gas leak causing them to be stranded. The friends figure they better find some shelter for the night before some ‘Wrong Turn’ shit goes down. They find a nice dude and his girl in the middle of the woods that is basically living off the grid and keep to themselves. It is a simple life but at least they are not raping their sister… until you meet the relatives that were hunting or just raping their sister as usual. So the friends soon become part of dinner and must fight to escape because they are city folk! And city folk are sinners of course! I give the entertaining no budget flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find the flick from Michael Taylor Pritt at www.funtimeproductionz.com .

Are We the Waiting (DVD) – Apparently the draft have been reinstated and this unemployed all around good dude Chance has been drafted and ships out next week. Instead of going to fight for his country Chance and his girlfriend are going to run off to Canada to disappear but have one last party with friends. The friends get to the house for their online gaming party but things quickly change when decide to try a different gaming website that shows the party a severed arm. They all try to shut down and get some drinks only to find horrible crap in the freezer. From there it escalates when a brightly masked person has shown up and tries to kill them off one by one. Michael Taylor Pritt and crew are passionate about their work but haven’t hit that stride just yet. Meaning I may have not been impressed with this movie but know their best is still to come which is good for all fans of their work as I give this flick 2 out of 4 stars. You can this at www.funtimeproductionz.com .

 

Legend of the Drunken Master (DVD) – Probably one of the more famous of the Jackie Chan flicks is this feature about a man that knows “drunken boxing”. But this show of martial arts is frowned upon by most in the Asian communities because the person or persons are usually complete drunks and bring shame to their families. But Chan’s character swears off the art of fighting when his father kicks him out but eventually becomes involved a company man who is looking for an artifact that will fetch him lots of money but is mistakenly switched for ginseng which were in the same box. More than anything this film shows off Jackie Chan’s talent and knack of what was to come and show American audiences something they have never seen. I give the flick 4 stars.

 

Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon (DVD/YouTube) – A collection of YouTube videos from Addison Binek who takes it upon himself to show movies “MST3K”-style and in fast forward or highlights. But Mr. Binek does it with his own unique style that keeps it entertaining but yet not fake which for me always makes it entertaining. Mr. Binek the host tackles films such as: “Hectic Knife, Cannibal Claus, Slaughter Claus, The Giant Claw, Blood Orgy of the She-Devils, Rabid Grannies, Hot to Trot, Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Clever”. So this DVD tackles all the good and bad, mostly bad of these films. I enjoyed his humor and comments on Full Moon. If that isn’t enough pay attention to things in the background like the “Vibrator Christmas Tree” or Addison Binek in a horse mask committing suicide for watching ‘Hot to Trot’. Fun stuff for the You Tube fans as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. Become a fan at: https://www.youtube.com/user/JABproducts

 

Evils of the Night (Blu-ray) – College-aged kids are at the beach to party and have lots of sex until some of them go missing. Some aliens have visited Earth as old people who are tracking down young good looking people between the ages of 16-24 to get their blood. They need it to survive. But in between all the sex some of the kids have become concerned and try to find out what is happening to their friends? Running for their lives or just being harassed by a couple old mechanics the movie doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. But it’s the 80s, the film stars Julie Newmar, John Carradine, Amber Lynn, we have the millennium falcon on the poster, the film was called “Demon’s Blood” at one point, and some people believe this film was started as a porno? For that I am thankful I track this film down. The new Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray is packed with all kinds of cool extras including the alternate feature-length TV edit version of the film! I give the film 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

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Gross Movie Reviews #374

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Gross Movie Reviews #374

 

By Tim Gross

 

Vicious Lips (DVD) – A forgotten and lost film that has found its way to a DVD four-pack not long ago from the great Empire Pictures. Charles Band is an uncredited producer but something tells me he had more to do with this film from the stories I have been told by several people over the years who have worked with him? But that being said how about Greg Cannom and John Carl Buechler doing effects and the legendary Albert Pyun directing? Well that is exactly what you get in this weirdo sci-fi film where a band is traveling to a different planet to get their big break and with a new lead singer. There isn’t much else to say as I just described the whole plot of the film in one sentence. It is a forgotten gem for movie nerds to have for their collection as I give it 2 stars.

 

Shinjuku Incident (DVD) – Jackie Chan is a Chinese immigrant who finds himself in Japan trying to make things go his way. But the only way to make it work is steal merch and resell. Soon he becomes highly regarded by his fellow immigrants as he becomes feared by some in Japan’s local mob circles. As Jackie Chan uses the local mobs they use him to get what both want. Not your typical Jackie Chan crazy action-stunt film but an interesting film about the rise of Chinese immigrants in Japan. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

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Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies (VHS/DVD-R) – Let me just say this any horror film that begins with Suicidal Tendencies “I Saw Your Mommy and Your Mommy is Dead” gets 4 stars no matter what comes next. But that just isn’t enough for this fun gem of unknown goodness! Karen Black stars as Auntie Lee, Pat Morita as the local small town sheriff, Michael Berryman as the weird dude (Larry) who takes care of the nieces’ cars after deliveries, and the very beautiful Teri Weigel. Teri may have done a lot of porn but always found a way into a stray horror film which I always enjoy finding. Teri is one of the best. But after jamming out to Suicidal Tendencies we are introduced to some lunatic who tries to carjack a young lady and becomes a victim himself for Auntie Lee. Auntie Lee for years has sold her famous meat pies to the local town folk of Penance. And these days now her nieces are all grown up they go out and lure men in for the taking. Usually if there is car trouble or car cleaning needing to be done it’s up to Larry until he is caught one day with a trunk full of bones! Pat Morita decides then with the bootleg David Bowie as a private investigator try to bring down Auntie Lee. But the real question is will the sheriff bring her in or will he become the next meat pie? Everyone is awesome in this light-hearted “Motel Hell” horror film. This movie deserves to be seen all horror movie fans as I give this fun meaty morsel 4 stars.

 

Night of the Zombies (VHS/DVD-R) – The film is also known as Part II starring the famous Jamie Gillis as a CIA agent who is sent to search for poisonous canisters after two scientists going missing. The more he searches for these mysterious canisters the more he understands he has become part of a war that never ended 40 years ago. Zombie fans may even overlook this one as the film is filled with very dull scenes but tries to make up for the lack of good film with weird, nasty looking zombie make-up which was just enough to keep me watching to the end. I give the Gillis-zombie adventure 1 ½ stars.

 

Mutilations (YouTube/DVD-R) – A funny low budget flick from the mid-80s where students and their teacher witness a spaceship flying by. When the ship lands the alien feasts on some hobos. Meanwhile the next day the teacher and students while in class debate about UFOs! So after agreeing they investigate the UFO sightings further and we are bombarded with fun scenes of Claymation and the destruction of the student body by the alien… It has that “Deadly Spawn” kind of feel to it if it helps as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

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Fun Time (DVD) – Some lucky people get invited to a night of Funhouse fun filled with clowns. If they make it through the night they get $500,000. If not, they become part of the body count. Not so much the invitees surviving as much as the clowns entertaining themselves and not paying anyone as usual. The clowns put the contestants through several torturous games in “Saw” like fashion to be one step closer to escaping. But will they as the clowns begin to turn on each other? Michael Taylor Pritt proves clowns are always gonna be an effective thing to scare the poop out of people as I give this independent feature 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Found out more about the film at: www.facebook.com/OfficiallyFunTimez .

 

Unnatural (DVD) – A selection from the 2015 After Dark Horrorfest which I was surprised it was still going on? Middle of nowhere Alaska a photographer and a couple of models are doing their latest project. They just happen to be staying in a cabin with James Remar who tells the story of an unstoppable polar bear to scare the city folk. His story becomes true when people become bloody puddles of mess as a scientist (Sherilyn Fenn) is running for her life from a genetically altered polar bear who wants to fuck some humans up! A fun ‘when animal attacks’ movie that also has Ray Wise as a head honcho of an envoirmental company claiming bullshit when the polar bear kills all. I give the horror flick 3 stars.

 

The Collapsed (DVD) – The apocalypse has happened and no one is sure of how or why? A family fighting for survival out in the woods making their way to a rural area to get away from all the craziness of the big city. But something evil is stalking them and slowly they die one by one by this mysterious evil. Not the best of the recent apocalypse films but has an interesting plot twist of the mysterious evil that follows the family. The answer will make you happy you made it all the way through the film as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.