Gross Movie Reviews #374
By Tim Gross
Vicious Lips (DVD) – A forgotten and lost film that has found its way to a DVD four-pack not long ago from the great Empire Pictures. Charles Band is an uncredited producer but something tells me he had more to do with this film from the stories I have been told by several people over the years who have worked with him? But that being said how about Greg Cannom and John Carl Buechler doing effects and the legendary Albert Pyun directing? Well that is exactly what you get in this weirdo sci-fi film where a band is traveling to a different planet to get their big break and with a new lead singer. There isn’t much else to say as I just described the whole plot of the film in one sentence. It is a forgotten gem for movie nerds to have for their collection as I give it 2 stars.
Shinjuku Incident (DVD) – Jackie Chan is a Chinese immigrant who finds himself in Japan trying to make things go his way. But the only way to make it work is steal merch and resell. Soon he becomes highly regarded by his fellow immigrants as he becomes feared by some in Japan’s local mob circles. As Jackie Chan uses the local mobs they use him to get what both want. Not your typical Jackie Chan crazy action-stunt film but an interesting film about the rise of Chinese immigrants in Japan. I give the film 2 ½ stars.
Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies (VHS/DVD-R) – Let me just say this any horror film that begins with Suicidal Tendencies “I Saw Your Mommy and Your Mommy is Dead” gets 4 stars no matter what comes next. But that just isn’t enough for this fun gem of unknown goodness! Karen Black stars as Auntie Lee, Pat Morita as the local small town sheriff, Michael Berryman as the weird dude (Larry) who takes care of the nieces’ cars after deliveries, and the very beautiful Teri Weigel. Teri may have done a lot of porn but always found a way into a stray horror film which I always enjoy finding. Teri is one of the best. But after jamming out to Suicidal Tendencies we are introduced to some lunatic who tries to carjack a young lady and becomes a victim himself for Auntie Lee. Auntie Lee for years has sold her famous meat pies to the local town folk of Penance. And these days now her nieces are all grown up they go out and lure men in for the taking. Usually if there is car trouble or car cleaning needing to be done it’s up to Larry until he is caught one day with a trunk full of bones! Pat Morita decides then with the bootleg David Bowie as a private investigator try to bring down Auntie Lee. But the real question is will the sheriff bring her in or will he become the next meat pie? Everyone is awesome in this light-hearted “Motel Hell” horror film. This movie deserves to be seen all horror movie fans as I give this fun meaty morsel 4 stars.
Night of the Zombies (VHS/DVD-R) – The film is also known as Part II starring the famous Jamie Gillis as a CIA agent who is sent to search for poisonous canisters after two scientists going missing. The more he searches for these mysterious canisters the more he understands he has become part of a war that never ended 40 years ago. Zombie fans may even overlook this one as the film is filled with very dull scenes but tries to make up for the lack of good film with weird, nasty looking zombie make-up which was just enough to keep me watching to the end. I give the Gillis-zombie adventure 1 ½ stars.
Mutilations (YouTube/DVD-R) – A funny low budget flick from the mid-80s where students and their teacher witness a spaceship flying by. When the ship lands the alien feasts on some hobos. Meanwhile the next day the teacher and students while in class debate about UFOs! So after agreeing they investigate the UFO sightings further and we are bombarded with fun scenes of Claymation and the destruction of the student body by the alien… It has that “Deadly Spawn” kind of feel to it if it helps as I give the film 2 ½ stars.
Fun Time (DVD) – Some lucky people get invited to a night of Funhouse fun filled with clowns. If they make it through the night they get $500,000. If not, they become part of the body count. Not so much the invitees surviving as much as the clowns entertaining themselves and not paying anyone as usual. The clowns put the contestants through several torturous games in “Saw” like fashion to be one step closer to escaping. But will they as the clowns begin to turn on each other? Michael Taylor Pritt proves clowns are always gonna be an effective thing to scare the poop out of people as I give this independent feature 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Found out more about the film at: www.facebook.com/OfficiallyFunTimez .
Unnatural (DVD) – A selection from the 2015 After Dark Horrorfest which I was surprised it was still going on? Middle of nowhere Alaska a photographer and a couple of models are doing their latest project. They just happen to be staying in a cabin with James Remar who tells the story of an unstoppable polar bear to scare the city folk. His story becomes true when people become bloody puddles of mess as a scientist (Sherilyn Fenn) is running for her life from a genetically altered polar bear who wants to fuck some humans up! A fun ‘when animal attacks’ movie that also has Ray Wise as a head honcho of an envoirmental company claiming bullshit when the polar bear kills all. I give the horror flick 3 stars.
The Collapsed (DVD) – The apocalypse has happened and no one is sure of how or why? A family fighting for survival out in the woods making their way to a rural area to get away from all the craziness of the big city. But something evil is stalking them and slowly they die one by one by this mysterious evil. Not the best of the recent apocalypse films but has an interesting plot twist of the mysterious evil that follows the family. The answer will make you happy you made it all the way through the film as I give it 2 stars.
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