Gross Movie Reviews #486

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Gross Movie Reviews #486

 

Walk like a Panther (On Demand) – If you enjoy wrestling movies then you are in for a treat from the UK folks. Mark Bolton is the son of ‘The Bulldog’ one of the original British wrestlers that ran together called, “Panthers”. They use to be on the tele in the 80s and then were canceled to the dismay of many. Mark never got his shot with the Panthers but now runs a pub called “The Half-Nelson” where all the old wrestlers and fans hang out at. They talk about old times, drink a pint, and wait for Mark’s wrestling trivia night. But things change when Mark’s idol Ginger Frost dies. They all go to the pub for the wake and interrupted by a young village idiot who believes wrestling is fake. So when the old timers get a hold of him and start having a good time at his expense as his friends film it on their phones and it goes viral. Between this hilarious turn of events and the pub being sold from under young Mark’s hands he decides to get “The Panthers” back together again for an one hour event to save the pub. Stephen Graham, Julian Sands, Robbie Gee were an absolute hoot in this flick. Maybe not the perfect film but there was many times I laughed my ass off at the screen as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

The Dead Don’t Die (On Demand) – The latest zombie film to have Bill Murray and a host of other Hollywood names take on zombies in a small town. Bill Murray and Adam Driver are cops of the town Centerville where their highlight is yelling out in the woods at a hobo that Murray’s character knew since high school. But polar fracking has knocked Earth’s axis funny and it has caused several weird things to happen: Prolonged daylight, animals going completely nutzoid, and Iggy Pop and other dead folk to rise from their grave. With no answers but many questions the film becomes one long Seinfeld joke. For good or bad the zombie make-up was cool but I was expecting a little bit of a different movie as I give it 2 stars.

Slaughterhouse Slumber Party (Blu-ray/Vimeo) – Dustin Mills has quickly become one of my favorite filmmakers as he has made all kinds of different horror films. Always trying something different and this is no different for this unapologetic cheesy film about a group of young women getting together once a year for a party weekend. At times shot like a “Big Brother” or “Real World” TV show you get to know all the women and their flaws who are attending this big weekend party. Of course no boys allowed but a new girlfriend Gretchen, has been brought into the event meeting new people and enjoy the fun of being free, drunk, and hope not to have your face farted on! Anyway Gretchen seems a little strange and not all about the new Rocket Ribcage film. Gretchen is more into bringing forth evil supernatural shit. Never thinking much about Gretchen’s weirdness she is accidentally killed in a pillow fight and thus starting off a bunch of demonic bad shit happening to the women. The friends mostly naked and frighten must gather the strength to take on this horror and escape the wrath of Gretchen! If there was ever a movie to be put on a double bill with “Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama” this is it my friends and that is high praise coming from me as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Dustin be proud my friend and that cast was awesome!

 

Spider-man: Far From Home (On Demand) – The Avengers have disappeared again and Tony Stark is dead. They all saved the world but Peter just wants to get back to normal high school life and that means going to Europe with MJ and friends. This being Peter’s big chance to finally ask MJ out but course things go sideways when Mysterio shows up fighting monsters called, “Elementals”. Nick Fury needs Peter to take over for Stark and help fight these fights. Peter still just wanting to be a high school kid decides to let Mysterio do the job until he learns of the real plan. This newer version of Spider-man was again a lot of fun and really enjoyed the end credit stuff but the real shame is going to be Disney and Sony fighting over the property. Which means most likely we won’t even get to see Tom Holland in college as Spider-man. Fun movie I give 3 ½ stars too but most likely we will see two more sequels to everything else before this problem gets resolved so enjoy it folks.

 

Video Murders (DVD-R/VHS) – Jim McCullough Jr. brings us a lower budgeted film about a serial killer David Lee Shepard. The film opens with David bringing a hooker back to a hotel for the intent of filming her strangulation. The detectives have gotten closer to David as he has left a trail of murder scenes in different cities but with the same motive. The rest of the film entails a detective in not one but two long chase scenes with David. There is some filler with David picking up a woman in a bar because she reminds him of his mother and does not kill her but keeps her tied up. The movie teases this will be sleazefest but is more of a dramatic cat and mouse thriller between David and the detective as I give it 2 stars.

The Dark Days of Demetrius (DVD/Vimeo) – Independent filmmaker Dakota Ray is back with his latest film about a serial killer called “The Live Stream Killer”. This man streams his murders and has a following on social media which in turn he allows his so-called fans to comment on photos and videos. Demetrius desire to kill is consuming him and gets off on that his following is growing by the hundred-thousands with each post. Eventually LSK allows the audience to decide the fate of his victims taking his murderous ways to a new height. But a sadistic reporter of a news website takes notice of LSK and begins to blame him for murders he has nothing to do with in order to have more content for his site. Demetrius can stay as a mystery to police but makes himself known to the reporter who is trying to stain The Live Stream Killer’s name. This is for sure one those hard-hitting films that are not for the fate of heart as it isn’t so much sleazy as much as just one of the darkest films you may watch… For that I give Dakota’s feature 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

For the next Grossfest guest announcement

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Another cool person we have wanted as a guest for Grossfest. She is from near Dayton, Ohio and this wonderful actress has been in almost 40 films over the past seven years.  She has quickly become one of the best actresses in independent film over the past few years as her presence in movies is unforgettable. She has worked with some cool independent filmmakers: Dustin Mills, Dave Parker, John Oak Dalton and Henrique Couto in such projects as Bath Salt Zombies, Easter Casket, Babysitter Massacre, A Bulldog for Christmas, Awkward Thanksgiving, Slimy Little Bastards, The Slit-Mouthed Woman, Slaughterhouse Slumber Party,  and The Girl in the Crawlspace to name a few. It is delightful that we are able to introduce yinz to our next guest of Grossfest 3, the talented actress Erin R. Ryan!

 

Grossfest 3: Season of the Gross
July 25th-26th, 2020
The George Washington Hotel
60 South Main St.
Washington, Pa. 15317
Or find Grossfest on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram

Gross Movie Reviews #465

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Gross Movie Reviews #465

 

Sewer City Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – The film declares in the opening credits that it is a film made with no script, no prep, NO BUDGET, and a week to make it! They came up with a story about a serial killer who comes through the toilets of residents in Sewer City and kill them. The mayor wants to run for a third term and needs this killer caught so he hires a homeless person who carries a plunger as his weapon of choice. The hobo has many run-ins with the killer with not a ton of luck but in the end good overcomes evil… maybe. An entertaining concept that gets old halfway through the film, but kudos for the people behind it seeing it completely through as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Hacked Horror Film Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – This ‘massacre’ title claims to be based on individuals who hacked into Hollywood studios computer systems to release a bunch of unreleased horror films. These projects were just sitting around and fall under a loop hole that makes them public domain once they hacked and placed out there? Most of it is more like random clips of monsters, horrible title sequences, and TV show ideas. I gave the film a fair shot but this was bad idea folks. I was having trouble getting through watching this uneventful film as I give it a ½ star.

 

Beach Massacre at Kill Devil Hills (DVD) – So actress Sarah French and a quick cameo from Dawna Lee Heising are wasted in this bad slasher film. Stacy and friends head out for the weekend to the cabin for some fun. The group is trying to help Stacy as her abusive ex-husband is being released from prison the same weekend. They just wanna show their support, drink, and have fun. As you wait almost 90% of the film for the ex to show up only to die of a quick death the filmmakers fill up the film with a lot of crap. Crap that includes two strangers: one being the horrible new mail girl for Joe Bob Briggs being nice and friendly until they get the group to play a game. The movie is very disjointed and feels like there may have been a few different scripts at play here. If anything I almost forgot I watched this movie already as I give 0 stars.

 

Teenage Zombies (DVD) – A hilarious late 50s flick where teenagers just wanna water ski but stumble upon an island they never seen before. The teenagers find a woman who claims she never leaves the island. But the teenagers soon discover neither will they as the woman just happens to be a valuable doctor who is doing secret research on prisoners. She now has the teenagers in her clutches and plans using her new formula of nerve gas on them. They all are just experiments to her. Even the teenagers do the right thing it comes down to the teenagers vs. the good doctor. A forgotten but funny drive-in flick that doesn’t ask you to think too much to enjoy it as I give it 2 stars.

Bed of the Dead (DVD) – Two couples head to the local sex club to rent a room and have their foursome between friends. Once there at the club they come to find out they are booked but the club has a room that is under renovation that are able to buy their way in. The four get into this large amazing bed and the guys eagerly wait for the girls to get started but something happens and freaks the girls out. Night of debauchery is over but the horror is about to begin as the four don’t know the evil history of the bed. One by one each is lured to leave the bed; if they do they die a horrible death. Now a burned out detective is trying to put the pieces together after he receives a weird text on a phone he finds at the crime scene. Spoiler alert after ten minutes you know what is going to happen but this movie is actually very interesting and surprised me despite knowing the ending. Another example of keeping the movie idea simple and not overthinking a movie idea that should not be this good. Give it a watch folks as you won’t be disappointed with this evil bed flick I give 3 stars too.

The Slit Mouthed Woman (DVD/YouTube) – The excellent Dustin Wayde Mills has a new short film that is blessed with the talented Erin R. Ryan who is an absolute joy to watch in movies. The story is about two women discussing an urban legend they may or may not have seen in an alley. The legend is about a beautiful woman who was horribly disfigured by her husband for an affair. Now she comes to haunt the two women asking them, “Am I beautiful?” To me the cool short film feels like a tale of horror meets an episode of “The Hitchhiker” or “Red Shoe Diaries”. I give the short film 3 ½ out of 4 stars as I believe Dustin is one of the few that is blessed with great filmmaking talent and always has me wondering what will his mind come up with next for independent film fans? Available for order at:

Blu-ray: https://grindhousevideo.com/shop?olsPage=products%2Fslit-mouthed-woman-and-other-tales-blu-ray&page=1&sortOption=descend_by_created_at

DVD: https://grindhousevideo.com/shop?olsPage=products%2Fslit-mouthed-woman-and-other-tales-dvd&page=1&sortOption=descend_by_created_at

And for updates:  www.facebook.com/dustin.w.mills .

 

Lords of Chaos (On Demand) – Rory Culkin portrays Euronymous from the band Mayhem, who as a teenager wanted to change the music landscape, do something outside of the norm. He claimed to have come up with Norwegian Black Metal with his band Mayhem. The band gains a quick cult following but the lead singer commits suicide and things begin to get out of control when churches begin to burn in Norway. An interesting story about a boy wanting to do be different and what he did with his short life.  If you were a metal fan you heard stories of the ‘black metal’ scene in Norway in the 90s. I give the black metal flick 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019