Gross Movie Reviews #531
The Bubble (DVD/YouTube) – A 1966 film that some people may know as ‘Fantastic Invasion of Planet Earth’ and at the time of its release was called ‘The Zoo 3-D’ in some territories. A happily young married couple with their first child on the way jump into a charter plane that gets hit by a strange storm. The couple and pilot are able to land safely but find themselves in a strange small town where all the residents seem zombified or controlled? All three being completely weirded out decide it is a movie lot of some kind to explain away the oddness. But when they track down a vehicle and drive out of there they find a glass wall keeping them in. Now all three don’t know if it’s real or they have just gone crazy from the beginning? Things get a good weird from there as the three spend weeks including having the baby on trying to figure out a way out and why everyone is zombified. An excellent weird watch that I am surprised hasn’t shown up on some of the horror host shows as it seems like it would be PG rated… Anyway I give this oddity 3 stars.
Hysterical (DVD) – Another horror spoof from the early 80s that I only heard of but didn’t know it really existed. This one consists of a big time author from New York who gets away from it all to actually write his masterpiece and what better place than Hellview, Oregon. A quiet small place that has a haunted lighthouse where of course the author enjoys but ignores the warnings. When Captain Howdy’s corpse appears two professors are brought in to discover why? But it’s been a hundred years since he, his mistress, and wife died during a storm and its time cause chaos! Oh by the way the whole town is being turned into zombies while this is all going on. There are quite a few subtle laughs in this one as this might not be as over the top as some of the spoofs can be as I give this 3 stars.
Transylvania Twist (DVD/YouTube) – A horror spoof from 1989 that centers on a man named Dexter Ward who travels to L.A. to retrieve info on a book for his uncle who has returned from the dead to work again in the Arkham Library. But Dexter finds himself wrapped up in something else when he and a beautiful actress named Marissa are invited to Transylvania because of her father dying. Eventually Van Helsing joins the show and escorts the couple to Castle Orlock as there is a vampire (Robert Vaughn) waiting for their arrival. If this vamp gets his claws on the Book of Ulthar it could spell doom for all humans. A hilarious spoof on the Dracula story using footage of ‘The Terror’ and Boris Karloff throughout, also you will not forget the hilarious beginning of the film poking fun at Freddy, Jason, Leatherface, and Michael Myers. The biggest payoff which I totally forgot and worth a rewatch just because is Angus Scrimm as the vamp’s butler and yes you get a wonderful ‘Phantasm’ spoof! The film is lots of fun when jokes are going but does have a few dull spots that has not aged well since its initial release but I still give it 2 ½ stars.
Saturday the 14th Strikes Back (DVD/YouTube) – The 1988 unexpected sequel disconnects from the original story and goes a little different where a family has just inherited a home and instead of the “Book of Evil” their new home was built on a crack in the earth that holds all the monsters from the underworld. This where Eddie Baxter who was about to have the best summer ever because he turns 16 instead is forced to save the world. This crack causes some weird things like a vampire hanging out in his bedroom grooming him for the monsters arrival. But Ray Walston as fake grandpa is there to protect Eddie and help lead him in stopping the monster invasion. The first half of the horror spoof is hilarious and goes great but by the end I was just waiting for the film to end as it loses steam and I give it 2 stars.
Paintball Massacre (DVD) – Some old school friends get together for a reunion and a morning of paintball games. Not the greatest idea for all but they do it anyway and all goes well for some time until one team is completely slaughtered and now the school friends are being stalked and shot at by a paintball masked maniac. The film has some fun gory parts and a character you will enjoy hating or root for (you’ll understand) but the ending falls flat and felt they may never had a true ending written to begin with as I give it 1 ½ stars.
People to Kill (DVD) – Apparently this was Adam S. Clevenger’s first effort out as he wrote and directed this interesting thriller. Shawn and two brothers still live and hang with their father as their mother died five years ago after reading about the “Lullaby Killer”. The family still trying to move on has their usual squabbles and Shawn gets a lot of the blame from his father. Shawn runs a Star Trek themed store called “Starbase”. This makes for some hilarious scenes with the customers and Shawn’s father while Shawn runs for coffee. Along the way he helps out the local hooker (Erin R. Ryan) who has an issue with her pimp. Shawn felt the need to step in as he has seen her every day for the past few months hanging out near his store. They quickly strike up a friendship and things get very complicated as that is about all I can say as a major twist happens. I didn’t exactly see this twist coming maybe you will but either way this film is an absolute gem of an independent feature. Mr. Clevenger wrote an excellent script, and casted an excellent group of actors that should be applauded for pulling off a great performance. Erin R. Ryan is always a wonderful presence on screen but all involved were equally great. There was only one thing bad that I could say about the film and that is the length (2 hours and 14 minutes). Now most cases there isn’t enough story to fill 70, 80, or even 90 minutes but this surprisingly had it but felt the 20 minute strip club could have been cut down. I totally understand why it wasn’t edited because there is some important dialogue that happens but felt at some point Adam could have moved on. If this was Adam’s first effort out then count me in for the future as I can see some entertaining stuff coming this dude as I give this must have film 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Good chance this shows up on my “Best of 2021 watched list”.
Devil Story (DVD) – This mid-80s film has a Nazi zombie roaming the French countryside stabbing people while a random mummy decides it is time to appear and terrorize all others. Zombie dude to me looks like movies in the late 60s and early 70s wanted you to think biker extras looked like? If that doesn’t make much sense just wait there is more as an old dude just keeps shooting a pump shotgun into the random countryside for the second half of the movie. The movie doesn’t make a lick of sense but I found it extremely entertaining as this must be watched in your next outdoor group setting as I give it 2 ½ stars.
The Thing that Couldn’t Die (DVD) – A rando drive-in flick from the late 50s where a young woman has psychic powers and happens to disturb an evil beheaded pirate that has been buried for a few hundred years. Now that he is found she is the key for his head being reattached to his buried body. Yes it is stupid but doesn’t stop it from being entertaining 60 some odd years later as I give it 2 stars.
Bad Blood The Movie (DVD) – A recent low budget affair where a college girl name Victoria has taken a break from college to the dismay of her father who believes she is on “the drugs”. Victoria just trying to get away from it all for a night with her best friend is attacked at a gas station when they stop to get gas by a large amphibious creature. Victoria survives but is taken in by the gas station attendee. More on that in a little bit as you hear reports of a crazed man (Dr. Mark Beltran) has escaped custody with incredible strength. Victoria wakes up and it is explained to her she is now a part of some weird amphibious/werewolf experiment that went too far and the attendee is working on a cure with experimenting on frogs. To complicate things a private detective who is losing his mind and works for Victoria’s family screws up the cure and finds himself in a predicament! Weird as hell, some gore, awesome creature as I give this bad boy or girl 3 stars!
Darlin’ (DVD) – Ketchum’s trilogy moves on with the cannibal people as a feral teenage girl is pushed out of the woods to a hospital. The hospital unsure what to do with her as she has no injuries, cleans her up, try to communicate with her and send her to the Lord’s house for girls. There a nun/sister named Jennifer tries to take care of her, teach her, explain god, and get her to interact with the other girls that reside there. Problem an older cannibal sister is sniffing around for her sister because we come to find out (Darlin) the younger sibling is pregnant and this stirs up priest diddling! Most not the strongest of the trilogy but has a wonderful ending as I give it 2 stars.
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