Tag Archives: C. Thomas Howell

Gross Movie Reviews #567

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Gross Movie Reviews #567

Terror of Disgusting Worms from Outer Space (YouTube) – An oddity S.O.V. film made in Germany … I believe? Anyway this mid-80s unknown no budget film introduce us to Mary and Larry who after a night of partying all night are ready to head home until they see something in the sky. Bored, the couple follows to where they believed it fell to Earth hoping to find a U.F.O. and find themselves at a burned out industrial area (which makes a great location for the film). Within minutes of arriving and investigating Larry is attacked by a ghoul and it’s not long before Mary is meeting the worm aliens! Lots of incoherent running around, bad effects, glad I was able to watch this as I give this oddity 1 ½ stars for the laughs.

Disgusting Space Worms Eat Everyone! (YouTube) – In 1989 apparently we got another or possible sequel (?) to the 1984 German film but I couldn’t confirm this? Anyhow this story has alien worms infecting a man’s drugs in Beverly Hills along with the alien worms constantly feasting on random people in their homes. Meanwhile there is literally some kind of nonsense plot of a private eye (Ray) who keeps crossing paths with a 80s fouled mouth young lady. Along with that incoherent nonsense we get a lot of scenes of characters running around as the aliens are there to exterminate the humans. The highlight of this whole mess is in order to defeat the worm aliens you must throw cocaine at them as the drug melts the alien ghouls. This is a weird mess of a film indeed folks but again glad I was able to watch it as it entertained me and made me laugh so for that I give it 2 stars. Also I forgot to mention there is a random giant Raid Spray Can!

Meathook Massacre IV (YouTube) – Robert Lankford returns as the Bubba character again and this entry tries to show a budget as they feature Indy film stars Drew Marvick and Brinke Stevens. Bubba is again on the move as a bunch of meathook murders of gotten the attention of authorities and local news. While on the road Bubba and mum have a small accident with a group of young people heading to Vegas for a birthday celebration. The celebration is quickly derailed when Bubba blames this group for the death of his Ma and gets some help from his extended family. Once the extended family is introduce the film becomes more about setting up the next film than telling a story of Bubba as I give this entry 1 ½ stars.

Checkered Flag or Crash (DVD) – Think ‘Cannonball Run’ but not as funny set in Manila? It is a 3-day, 1000 mile race for $50,000 to the winner and the rest of the 50 or 60 drivers split the other $50,000 and promoted by the stylish Larry Hagman. The race or movie centers on the feud of former friends Joe Don Baker and Alan Vint who use to be partners but now competitors and a reporter played by Susan Sarandon is covering it all. The film is full of stunts and car racing which is pretty much gold 70s film lovers. I liked it but didn’t love it because for me ‘Cannonball Run’ just never gets old but that is just me as I give this film 2 ½ stars.

The Cursed (DVD) – Most of the story takes place in the late 1800s where white people never learn and fuck with gypsys who had a claim before them on some farmland. Of course a lynch mob comes by and ruins all their lives but the dumb ass white people wanna know why weird evil shit starts happening to them and their kids? After all begin to have the same nightmare and a boy goes missing a pathologist John McBride comes in to investigate the missing child and quickly figures out he might be dealing with a sinister supernatural element here as no one wants to talk about what they did in order to illegally keep the land they claim. Feels like a werewolf flick but is something more, has some fun gore scenes, goes to great lengths to have that old school cursed European monster feel, but also again points out why dumb white people will never listen as I give this horror film 3 stars.

Meathook Massacre V: The Final Chapter (YouTube) – Before I even start this review you be warned there is two more sequels that come after this, more on that later… A survivor from 15 years ago Danielle Stokley has managed to move on with her name after the attack of Bubba while living under a different name. Meanwhile Bubba is still running around with a meathook in the middle of nowhere doing his thing. Danielle is tracked down by a mysterious man who also claims to be a survivor and drops some knowledge on Danielle talking about they were some government experiment with cross breeding that mutated! What I got out of that conversation was “INCEST”. The family full of killers travels from state to state to satisfy their carnal killing needs and to stay ahead of the authorities but that is about to change? So the movie really doesn’t end it basically sets up “To Be Continued…” without saying it on screen which begs the question: “How in the love of Rutger Hauer is this the Final Chapter?” Not saying but just saying… I honestly believe this is a logical question when a filmmaker is making a film that literally claims “The Final Chapter”. I am not trying to take a giant steamy morning grumpy on this film because I like where the film was going five installments in, but when you pull this dumb shit then you are just being a dick for no good reason. And do not give me the ‘Friday the 13th Part 4’ argument as I give this film zero stars for being misleading and not in a good way.

Sharks of the Corn (DVD) – Some strange shit is happening in the cornfields of Kentucky and part of it is sharks haunt a cornfield. Yes, you heard me right folks sharks haunt a cornfield and a serial killer who is obsessed with sharks believes the sharks are gods and makes sacrifices for the gods. Oh yeah there is a Bigfoot and a Bigfoot hunter running around during this whole mess as the killer believes he is fulfilling some kind of Blood Moon prophecy. With this going all on not totally sure there is a real reason the sharks are there in the cornfield other than it can spell the end of the world for all? There is a lot of filler of three ongoing movie plots here and feel if Tim Ritter would have just stuck with a parody of ‘Children of the Corn’ I think it would have been more entertaining and that is coming from a fan of Mr. Ritter’s. I will say this if there was one take away from this mess and what may have saved the film for me was the last minutes of the film made me laugh several times as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Maggots (DVD) – If I wasn’t hell bent enough on destroying my brain with Yuengling there is bad movies and this was downright unbearable at times. This 2017 film claiming it was made for $100,000 is set in Harlan County, a wooded country area where something comes crashing to Earth and unleashes mutant maggots that want humans to feast on. Fred Olen Ray I know you wrote the story for this but dude… please have some say in these projects? Of course Harlan County just happens to become a hotspot for tourists when giant bad green screened maggots are attacking! I would love to say this entertaining but even me, I felt like something was taken from me when watching this so-called film as I give it 0 stars. Sorry your jokes in the film fell horribly flat!

Mutant Vampire Zombies from the Hood! (DVD) – Not expecting much from this C. Thomas Howell project, hell was awaiting for it to be downright insulting but instead I was surprised how much fun it unfolds in being. Once you get past the opening shootout between rival gangs and two cops the film steals its idea from ‘Night of the Comet’ and does a pretty good job its low budget it has? A strange solar flare wave hits Earth and those exposed to the radiation turn into zombies or vampires or something else according to the entertaining characters we have trapped inside the lead-walled medical facility. Understanding they must survive and put racial issues aside the gangs and white cop (C. Thomas Howell) must learn to adapt quickly as all cars do not work and the zombies are evolving. The characters were entertaining as hell for what looks like a low grade cheeseball flick at first glance and will surprise you how entertaining this film actually is? This horror film has its flaws but believe me horror fans this film does deserve your attention if you do not take the title too seriously. If you liked ‘Leprechaun in the Hood’ you will like this as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Exorcist Vengeance (On Demand) – They are trying to use Robert Bronzi aka Bootleg Bronson in every genre humanly possible and I love it. So grab the beer and donuts as Bootleg Bronson this time around stars as Father Jozsef (had to look up the correct spelling) who is called in to investigate unholy symbols. The Bishop is sent pictures of some unholy symbols on the floor of a donor of the church and believes there is exorcism that needs to be done so send in the big gun to investigate? Father Jozsef shows up to the home to investigate and do a typical exorcism but runs into obstacles because in order to finish what he started, he must unravel the mystery of the family itself which has set them on the path of the devil. Once the secret is out it is just this evil force vs. the good father himself who of course carries a gun because he is Bootleg Bronson and for that I give 2 ½ stars.

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Gross Movie Reviews #545

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Gross Movie Reviews #545

Endangered Species (DVD) – One of horror’s favorite directors Kevin S. Tenney found some time to direct this clone of ‘I Come in Peace’ that stars Arnold Vosloo, Eric Roberts, and John Rhys-Davies. This film was also released in some countries under the title ‘Earth Alien’. Anyway, Sully the detective and others are working on a case where the killer likes to kill but collects victims that are deemed “perfect”. Thus said killer is known as “The Hunter” and Sully must team with “Warden” the good alien to bring this dude down before his killing spree goes global! It is like this 2002 release was a direct-to-video flick that got lost for a decade then showed when everyone forgot it exists as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Bigfoot (DVD) – A weirdo family flick directed by Kevin S. Tenney in 2009 that has one of the weirdest casts and plot that don’t seem to fit together. Richard Tyson and Angie Everhart are parents to a teenager named Percy who wants to impress the cute girl from school. An event presents itself for Percy to show up the school dropout/bully with the big truck that involves chasing Percy with the truck through the woods. Percy wrecks and the bully believes they (his sidekick and himself) have lost the kid so they turn back. Meanwhile, Percy knocked out gets rescued by Bigfoot who has left his dense forest where no one goes because of wildfires (or at least I think that is why). Percy and Bigfoot of course become friends, hangout together, and Percy at one point has to stand up to the bully with friends to save Bigfoot from the bully. The film is corny and hilariously interesting because it looks like someone from Tenney’s effects crew stole the Bigfoot costume from the ‘Harry and the Henderson’s’ film. This film is not a horror film by any means but a wonderful side trip worth watching for the mere weirdness this flick isn’t that old and never remember hearing about it as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Enemy Territory (DVD) – An Empire Pictures film I never knew existed that stars the likes of Tony Todd, Jan-Michael Vincent, and Ray Parker Jr. (yes, you heard me right). A white insurance dude is sent to the ghetto aka Lincoln Tower to get a signature on a big policy which translates into a huge commission for him. But whitey is in the wrong place at the wrong time because no one no matter what color a person is a gang called “Vampires” run the building! As the Vampires chase whitey through the building, whitey finds help from a telephone repair man who is a jack of all trades and believes this man needs saving. They work down level by level either to avoid the Vampires or find help from a willing resident. The film comes off like a campy siege movie that might not be as brutal as some movies of similar plot but still provides enough entertainment to pour through as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Martians Go Home (DVD) – A late 80s comedy… maybe, which has Randy Quaid as Mark Devereaux: writer and composer of music for commercials, films, TV shows, etc., but haven’t had that big break yet. After Mark heads to the cabin to work on his big time music and he is visited by a Martian as almost every other person on the planet at the same time. The Martians have shown up to create chaos in the world and in a short period they have done that. But what the Martians don’t anticipate is when Mark’s music is played backwards it sends the Martians home. If you enjoy some weird ass Randy Quaid stuff you have found your peak here as I give this feature 2 stars.

Pizza Girl Massacre (DVD) – I was so delighted to get my hands on this as it was one of the originals on my “Massacre list” that I have been trying to get a hold of to watch and review. Funny thing is this feature happens to be a found footage film about a documentary crew who were following a community theatre group who is rehearsing for their upcoming adaptation of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”. After Jason the director has hit on all the women in the theatre group they decide it is better to rehearse at a cabin in the middle of the woods. The documentary crew of course follows and we get a lot of hilarious weirdness of Jason the director interacting with the rehearsals… But everything changes during the bonding trip when they order pizza and Jason refuses to pay the bill because he claims the pizza is late? Or simply because the odd looking young pizza girl isn’t responding to a shirtless Jason who is still trying to get his grove on with someone! This of course makes the pizza girl disappear only to come back angry, armed with a pizza cutter and then unleash her psycho energy on the actors in the cabin. Best way to describe this fun mess is if ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ was a found footage film with a pizza girl… Great job of this bloody mess as it was well worth seeking out as I give it 3 stars.

The Creation of the Humanoids (DVD) – A fun post-apocalyptic flick from the 60s where humans are going extinct but believe the robots they built are to blame. But we come to find out the robots are actually trying to help but cannot stop the extinction of humans. Most likely a drive-in favorite as it has that feel to it but for the love of Rutger Hauer stick around for the last ten minutes as the movie gets really heavy. It makes you really think about this plot as gets more interesting than ever has a right to be as I have to give this film 3 stars.

Zillafoot (DVD) – A new independent feature written and directed by Anthony Polonia who uses the Godzilla storyline as the backdrop of this story about Zillafoot. Aliens come to Earth to release a monster to terrorize the humans. As the Army struggles with the fact aliens do exist and now there is a giant monster on Earth that threatens all of human kind, scientists head to the woods to investigate. Bad CGI, dumb military, rubber suit monsters to set up a sequel, and aliens rubbing boob-like computer instruments way too much in this feature are the highlights as I don’t know if they are spoofing Godzilla or paying homage to Godzilla in some weird way. I have seen better from lesser known independent filmmakers as I only could give this difficult film to get through 1 star.

The Last House on Massacre Street (DVD) – Most people that seen this flick in the 70s would know it as ‘The Bride’ but for me I like this title so much more. Barbara is the only daughter of a very rich man who runs a highly successful firm where Barbara’s latest beau (David) works at. Father doesn’t like she is with David and warns her about him but knows Barbara is way old enough to make her own decisions as she has just built a house that fits her personality. Barbara and David quickly get married and David doesn’t even wait to after the wedding day to bang his old fling when Barbara walks in on them during the wedding party. After a scissors incident Barbara disappears for two weeks and then begins her torture of David and his mistress. But what makes this film weird and maybe even like a dreamlike state was Barbara and David dead after the scissors incident and she still haunts him in the afterlife??? Oh yeah kids this movie was surprisingly good even after all these years later as I give this feature 3 stars.

Straight Edge Kegger (Blu-ray) – There is a shitload of extras for those of you enjoy Jason Zink’s film. We are introduced to Brad as he is straight-edge! He hangs out with a group of friends who are of the same belief or what he once thought as he is becoming bored of the “Straight Edge” life. That he and his group are not making a difference and believe maybe it is time for a change. This change slowly happens when Brad becomes friends with a dude named Sean who is into the same music but drinks and smokes weed. Brad tries Sean’s way and begins hanging out with him on a regular basis to the dismay of his former straight edge friends. Then one night Brad goes to a house party and meets a cute young lady named Maybe and the couple connect quickly. But this happiness is short lived as Brad’s former group has decided to crash the party and explain their beliefs in a harsher manner… It is simple, brutal, screwed up, and I like it as I give this bad ass flick 3 ½ stars.

The Day the Earth Stopped (DVD) – C. Thomas Howell writes and directs an Asylum project that someone should have stopped him from making this mistake. Two aliens crash land on Earth and several evil robots show up all over the world and it’s up to a military man in C. Thomas Howell to explain humanity to a hot ass alien babe or the world dies! Apparently Judd Nelson needed a paycheck and stopped in this turd which still didn’t make this boring mess any better as I give it 0 stars.

A Cure for Wellness (DVD) – An odd flick where old rich people go to a magical castle in the Swiss Alps to be cured of something. So Lockhart a young man who just got promoted is tasked with finding his CEO Mr. Pembroke at this place and brings his ass back to New York to sign off on a huge merger. But Lockhart finds much more as there is something about a father/daughter incest plot and people living 200 years longer after a fire. Honestly the movie started off interesting but slowly got dull with not much payoff. Now, I stayed with it to the end but felt like there should have been so much more but that might just be me as I am also not a fan of ‘Hereditary’ but let’s not go back down that rabbit hole as I give this 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !