Author Archives: grossmoviereviews

Gross Movie Reviews #565

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #565

Amityville: The Final Chapter (DVD) – Just like ‘Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter’ this franchise lied to us big time and try to hide it by marketing this film under a different title ‘Sickle’. Over the years the title has been changed back and forth but it is entry #36 so what were you expecting? Anyway kids, this story has a 27 year old known as “The Babysitter Killer” getting released from prison after 15 years. Michael a kid at the time claimed he was visited by a creature in a top hat that made him kill his babysitter when he was 12. Now adult, some ghost hunters cross paths with the newly released man and believe it is a great idea to take Michael back to the house where it all happened? Of course this causes the demonic force known as “Sickle” to reappear and ruin everyone’s day or night… its fucking ghost hunting does it matter at this point? This hot piece of garbage is high on the Amityville list of almost unwatchable as I give this entry 0 stars enjoy kids.

The Monster of Piedras Blancas (DVD) – Say that title five times fast, anyway before I review this: quick question: is the lighthouse location in this 1959 film the same as the one in “John Carpenter’s The Fog”? Back to your regularly scheduled review, two brothers are found dead near the lighthouse after going night fishing the night before. The deaths look suspicious and of course there is a small town legend of a monster that has lived along the rocks of the ocean. The old man who lives next to the lighthouse knows the truth and has fed the monster meat scraps from the town market for some time now. But the monster hungers more as it enjoys ripping human heads off and sucking the blood out of their neck. Can the monster be stopped? Is there more than one in the caves off this coastal town? A fun drive-in flick that I am surprised I never got the chance to see on Chilly Billy or something when growing up as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Alligator (Blu-ray) – You all have seen or heard of this movie by now where a baby alligator is thrown the toilet and years later its living in the sewers feeding on dead animals and such. Now it’s up to Robert Forster to get people to believe him a giant alligator is gonna eat everybody in the city. The 1980 film is cheesy fun but now finally has gotten the special Blu-ray treatment it has deserved for a long time. We get a new 4K scan of the original negative for not only the theatrical but the TV version of the movie and it looks just amazing as when the alligator coming up through the sidewalk looks hilariously cheesy. I mean honestly for years most of the film was grainy and hid the glorious scene well. We get tons of interviews, commentaries, lots of fun stuff in this 3-disc version you never knew you needed until it existed as I give it 4 stars.

Alligator II: The Mutation (Blu-ray) – Almost a decade later we get a fun cheeseball sequel with no Robert Forster but an all-star cast that makes this sequel much more interesting than it ever should have been? This time around a baby alligator is fed a steady diet of hormones and other chemicals from the Future Chemicals Corporation and we get another giant alligator that is going to attack a city festival where Steve Railsback plays an asshole trying to buy up everyone’s property. Richard Lynch and Kane Hodder steal the show as “gator hunters”. This sequel is dislike by some horror fans, for me it has always a weird fun appeal to me and makes all the right sense in the world to pick this new version up as it also has some fun interviews that make the film worth the watch all over again as I give it 3 ½ stars. Which by the way did you know this film was made for TV not the theater or direct-to-video, weird stuff?

Aquaslash (DVD) – A Canadian horror/comedy where some high school graduates are partying at a waterpark for the weekend. Of course most of the movie has a lot of graduates making out and getting told a story of a killer who murdered a bunch of people at the park in the 80s. The movie for its short running time takes a while to set up things but there is a huge gory payoff as a mysterious killer rigs up something in one of the water slides! The horror movie isn’t horrible but feels like there isn’t much rewatchablity to it as I give this horror feature 2 stars.

The Mask (Blu-ray) – A wild 1961 film has Dr. Allan Barnes trying to help a patient named Michael from going completely insane. Up until recently Michael was well respected and working at the local museum but has become consumed with a tribal/ritual mask of sorts that has Michael believing he is now cursed. After Michael’s last appointment he rushes out of the office to go home to commit suicide but before he does he mails the mask to the good doctor challenging him to see the nightmares. Dr. Barnes curious about the mask puts it for research in what driven a person to the brink and becomes consumed with the death and weird ritual things that happen when putting the mask on. Barnes quickly becomes obsessed with the mask and even convinces his mentor to help him with the experiment of learning what makes this mask unique? A fun bizarre version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde that can be seen in 2-D and 3-D with “Electro-magic sound” in this new restored version. The package also includes a short documentary and other short films that make this a must have for old school film fans as I give it 3 stars.

Killer Party (Blu-ray) – Now that we have fought through the Warner Brother DVD-R Archive crap that went on with this 80s slasher film we meaning a small but crazy fan base get a special edition version of ‘Killer Party’. A horror film from 1986 that is considered second tier slasher to some horror fans but one of my favorites growing up is all about three girls just trying to pledge to a sorority that is interrupted by a demonic presence. This pure 80s horror flick has a lot of fun new interviews that makes us physical media nerds jump for joy to have as I give it 3 stars.

Special Effects (VHS) – After Andrea and her husband Keefe have a fight about going back to Oklahoma, Andrea runs out on her man. Backstory, Andrea left him after having her baby and decided to chase a career in acting, modeling, etc., in New York City. While on the run and picking up a newspaper she finds herself on the doorstep of a famous filmmaker named Neville. Neville has just bombed out of Hollywood and lets in Andrea on whim. One thing leads to another and Neville is murdering her on his bed while filming it. Chris Neville cleans it all up and dumps the body so the husband is blamed. The husband breaks out police custody to visit Neville and this inspires the filmmaker to make a low budget film about realtime murder he committed! Neville gets so involved with the project he bails out the husband, makes the one police officer a technical adviser, and believes this is his way back to Hollywood as everything has to look a certain way as Neville relives the fantasy murder. For me this was a very bizarre Larry Cohen film to watch but glad as hell I did as I give it 3 stars.

Thriller: A Cruel Picture (Blu-ray) – The 1973 film is also widely known as “They Call Her One Eye” and has been inspiration for many filmmakers the past few decades but can’t be duplicated. A woman (Christina Lindberg) who is raped as a young girl is now grown but mute and goes into town quite often for doctor’s appointments. Innocent and naïve she gets in a car when she misses a bus into town and wakes up beaten up, hooked on heroin, and told she will now be a hooker! Not happy with this she takes it out on her first customer and in return she loses an eye and weirdly enough apparently it costs more money to bang a one eyed hooker. Soon she saves her money learns how to race a car, shoot guns, and fight. And that is when this movie just gets downright brutal as hell as she begins gut shooting customers left and right in slow motion with a double barrel shotgun. The movie is absolutely amazing, fucked up, brutal, and not for all movie lovers at the same time. I can see why this film has such rabid fan base especially when your female lead doesn’t say a damn word through the whole film! Thanks to Synapse Films this brutal film or package is going to make physical media fans drool like crazy as they have included an uncut and uncensored HD version with several subtitle and soundtrack options, rare photos and outtakes, alternate fight scene, and rare photos of a fight scene that was ruined by a film lab. If you only have seen the ‘They Call Her One Eye’ version you better be prepared for some of the graphic material in this restored film as his will not be for all audiences. Hell the movie was never made for all audiences but I am sure this package will make a lot of “Best of” lists at the end of the year as I give this 4 out of 4 stars. www.synapse-films.com

The Dungeonmaster (DVD) – Its 1984 and Paul is the IT guy who knows how to fix all computer problems as he is hooked up to his computer “CAL”. One night after a fight with his girlfriend Gwen, Paul and Gwen get sucked into purgatory or hell for Paul to conquer seven challenges in fantasy land in order for the couple to live and go back home. David Allen, John Carl Buechler, Charles Band, and Richard Moll as Satan, evil wizard, whatever you wanna call him… I will always be in to watch this crazy mess! Another fun Empire Pictures project that is just fun to pop in every five years or so and makes a little sense if double feature it with ‘Metalstorm’ that I give 3 stars.

They See You (Blu-ray) – Our story begins with three teenage boys heading into town to check out a unique/oddities shop. There is a spirit board with what looks like Halloween symbols on it that catches their attention but they are told that it isn’t for sale. Mainly the spirit board is not for sale because it’s cursed but this only intrigue the boys as with help from a couple girls they know from school they steal it along with an old book. They all head out the woods to have some fun with it, they all touch the spirit board, say some words from the old book, and it activates. Unleashing a gang of demons, undead creatures on Halloween that just don’t want to consume them but take control of the spirit board and book to stay in this world. Think of a slick independent gory film with a ‘Witchboard’ and ‘Beyond the Gates’ vibe to it. The movie has its flaws but overall Tory Jones and Jonestown Films put together a solid horror film well worth a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Robo C.H.I.C. (VHS) – First let’s get the alternate titles out of the way: aka Cyber-C.H.I.C. aka Robochic aka Thunder Tronic starring Burt Ward! Anyhow, a wacky doctor puts together a crime fighting fembot (remember kids its 1990). Along the way when the fembot isn’t training we have a mad bomber who is trying to keep the city hostage as he plants bombs everywhere. It is up to the futuristic fembot to find the people who kidnap the mad bomber and stop the bombs from going off in this supposedly intentionally funny film but fails. This movie is a part of a sub-genre that seem to show on “Up All Night” with Rhonda Shear between 1987-1992 or what you could call: The Killer Tomato sequel years? Anyhow give this terrible garbage 0 stars.

Kill-Cam (Blu-ray) – Chris Woods and The Sleaze Box crew reach deep into the sleaze void to pull out a story of Samantha Styles. Ms. Styles (Katie Mckinley) is obsessed with a model Pamela Keaton that makes her drool and want to meet her but Samantha also just happens to be a sex-crazed serial killer with a super shitty past! This slow burn into the dark void of Samantha has her getting advice from a doll, stalking her ex hookup, enjoying her murderous desires until see can come up with a way to meet her obsession. Folks you are in for a rough one here as this is not for the faint of heart but I believe this will find an audience craving more with Katie McKinley’s performance as a sick and horny serial killer. As I say with projects like this: “this isn’t my cup of tea” but I can easily see this project being talked about among independent film fans for the next several years because of its content as I give the film 2 ½ stars just for Katie Mckinley performance standing out in this feature.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Amityville… 36 entries… still counting… and still waiting for the others? (Part One)

0
Posted on by

Okay kids instead of boring you with who I am or my background let’s just summarize that like you I am some weirdo horror movie fan who in his lifetime has watched way too many horror movies and loves it. With that out of the way, let’s talk the Amityville series and if you couldn’t already tell this is gonna be a two part article for good reasons or bad ones… Honestly I just watched 36 Amityville films in the past six weeks so I don’t know if I would trust me? But let’s get back to what needs discussed or depending how many beers I drink (two 10% beers if wondering) while writing this article. Older horror fans if by some chance you didn’t know, “yes there is 36 F’N entries, so far… in the Amityville series, franchise, whatever you wanna call it. First question before I go on: Can we call it a franchise? I mean really can you call it a franchise if they really haven’t made money. Honestly, I thought I didn’t understand who the “Resident Evil” franchise was being made for but that is a whole different conversation. (Getting another beer) And for the newbies to the horror scene, nerdem, those of you are under 21, there was this movie/book based on a story of the Lutz family moving into a home in the state of New York that was haunted in the 70s. Anddddddddd… had a history of some horrible murders. In my John Larroquette voice it would be forever known as “The Amityville Horror”.

     Now that I have your attention, I and a couple friends who do a podcast called “Bloodbaths and Boomsticks” decided when we started up again for 2022 we should do an Amityville film every week. Sounds like a dumb idea but what the hell we are talking about a couple of guys that did a three episode podcast arc on the wonderful horror film “Spookies” (before it was cool). Yes, we do a podcast and no we don’t give a donkey fart who is paying attention (we have five listeners I believe) as we been doing a podcast for over eight years that was literally based on drunken conversations between two dumb ass horror movie nerds at a movie convention. Basically we live in reality for the most part. However this dumb ass idea stemmed from one of the dudes John Shatzer doing the “Witchcraft” series (all 16 of them) which intrigued me and of course I watched all of them because I have no life but also because I watch way too many ‘massacre’ films. (A whole other conversation we don’t need to have right now.) Second question before we move on: What happen to the Witchcraft remake? Legit question kids… Anyhow me being me I couldn’t just watch one Amityville film a week I wanted to watch them all? But here is the catch it surprised me that there was actually 36 films with five more in development and two more that we know of coming! (I take this very seriously as I open beer number four and I am invested.)

    

Why does this series intrigue me or my podcast partners Kyle Poling and John Shatzer? Well we are old but the real reason is why are there so many? I remember reading Fango back in the late 80s and once they had Patty Duke and sold the lamp I was out and no longer paying attention. Honestly kids, there are 12 Friday the 13th films, 10 Hellraiser films, eight Nightmare on Elm Street films, etc., you get the picture I kept paying attention. But for some reason I lost touch in caring to read the “Terror Teletype” in Fango about another Amityville sequel (yes I know you know I am old now) but those bitches kept making them. I mean after the first movie in 1979 yinz know the house burned, exploded, it didn’t F’N exist! So how, why, WTF? Well the first few or let’s say four movies were your standard for the 80s for a killer haunted home. That is where it went weird as we as horror fans were not imagining things when we saw four more entries litter the local video stores. These entries were made on modest budgets, had a couple celebs we know, and plots that were remotely worth watching. Again we are talking evil house, evil objects in the house that were sold “Friday the 13th TV series” style, and remember the house exploded. But like a lot of people say “why let plot get in the way of a bad movie” or is that said differently? Anyway after that it went quiet in the mid-90s… Question three: Was that because “Scream” and horror audiences expected more? Question four: because we were introduced to DVD and distribution figured the age of “direct-to-video” was over since even at that time video stores were starting to close their doors? (Time for another beer)

    

This is where all horror fans believed, thought, or just plain forgot the series died? There was nothing between 1996 and 2005. Then it happened… THE REMAKE and it starred Ryan Reynolds! 2005, out of nowhere the remake of “The Amityville Horror” came out and it was like a fart in church, forgotten after sneering at it. I mean it wasn’t horrible and it was all the rage by 2005 the remake was released but it was one of those things ‘based on true events’ that hey breaking news was most likely all bullshit! Even the Warrens of “The Conjuring” films fame for those who don’t know were sucked in during the 70s. Bottom-line kids DeFeo allegedly killed everyone setting these things in motion with the Lutz possibly looking for a payoff or whatever. But hey go Google that shit on your own time as this remake somehow opened ‘Pandora’s box’ of Amityville sequels. Question five: I understood remakes were the fad in the early 2000s but why “The Amityville Horror”? Out of all the horror movies from 70s and 80s this was one literally stumped me in the logic especially when even then it was all in question that it was a hoax or it was one of those things no one cared about. Come on kids… your dumb ass “Paranormal Activity” films or “Ghost Hunters” right before that gave birth to a shitload of TV weirdos that thought they were seeing or feeling ghosts on a weekly basis?

    

Then 2011 rolled around and all of a sudden it was on like Donkey Kong for the love of Rutger Hauer as it became a new thing: Amityville Haunting, Asylum, Playhouse, Deathhouse, etc., you get the drift. I don’t think there is a real answer here as I have read everything from the Amityville name is public domain to there is a loop hole in a contract signed between the book and movie rights to no one gives a fuck which raises question six: Who is actually making money on these entries let alone think they will make money? Then the independent filmmakers got a hold of this series during this time. Mark Polonia should have honestly known better and let’s be honest expect better from him and his crew. But then there is an entry from filmmaker Henrique Couto called “Amityville: No Escape” that was a found footage Amityville film that was not just watchable but great! He confused me because I was being conditioned to just watch a total mess of what is considered a horror movie. But don’t worry kids as I was ass deep entries into the series and thinking the entries were not that terrible I then come across “Amityville: Vanishing Point”. This 2016 entry was made for around $1000 by a so-called filmmaker who has disappeared as quickly as this film was made. The sound and editing were so bad the DVD was pulled from Amazon and there were no streaming rights (or at least that is what my research turned up). This film wasn’t watchable even though I did my best to power through it. Funny thing this had an excuse, but a few entries later another entry didn’t as I was introduced to Florida douchebag and his fake stripper girlfriend in “Amityville: Mt. Misery Road”. Never mind there was an entry called, “Amityville Prison” that was actually another good film (who would of guessed) or a couple entries that more names than foreign territories “Zombie” franchise (again Google that shit) had.

     The reason I bring up “Amityville: Mt. Misery Road” is just the sad fact that this is a piece of garbage that shouldn’t be called a movie. This is a prime example of me not understanding how hot garbage like this entry gets distribution and stuff from Indy filmmakers such as a Jim Roberts, Jorge Delarosa, Zane Hershberger, and I could go on and on  as they struggle their asses off for companies to pay attention. There is no fucking way in hell you can explain to me this film from ‘Florida Man’ is better than the last 200 independent films I have watched. Honestly kids this is plain bullshit and the company that even remotely released this should go bankrupt just because this so-called film was dumb and insulting to people who actually like watching films. But what made this series weirder if possible was the prequel we get in 2018 called “The Amityville Murders”. Literally we are over 20 entries in and we get a true prequel to the whole series depicting the DeFeo murders! Unless you are 12 or lived in a bomb shelter all your life you have seen the several documentaries explaining it’s a hoax and DeFeo wanted to bang his sister but that is after the fact. This entry was a pleasant surprise but not aimed at me as I grew up with all of this stuff. The entry doesn’t cover new ground but when it is sandwiched between “Vanishing Point, Mt. Misery Road, and Harvest” you will want to celebrate!

If you need to know:

Amityville worst:

1) Mt. Misery Road (just fuck off Florida douchebag)

2) Vanishing Point (I can get past the editing and sound was off completely, but you never went back and fixed it)

3) Scarecrow (Really kids, a British scarecrow movie hiding as an Amityville film about a haunted scarecrow in a trailer park… UGH!

    

Then for some odd reason 2019 it went completely quiet just so in 2020 and 2021 the Amityville films just like everyone during the pandemic lost their freaking mind as we got: an island with a shark, witches, a vibrator that was haunted (which I have watched twice and yes you had me at “vibrator at a yard sale” but also Nathan Rumler you legit made me laugh at a film that is 30 films deep into a franchise!, a werewolf, a cult (didn’t see that coming), a vampire (again), they were in the hood with Dustin Ferguson (I enjoyed the Leprechaun in the hood vibe) and zombies… maybe? Then if that wasn’t enough I found one that got lost because of all its different titles that was a 2015 entry, get this it was called, “Amityville: The Final Chapter”. Fuck me sideways with this dumb shit WTF? Because this reminded me of the entry with Jennifer Jason Leigh that supposedly was made in 2011, supposed to be released in 2013 and then again 2015 under a different title?  The frustration, the beer that was drank during this, and what makes this hilarious is I am awaiting the five entries that haven’t been released yet? Or made available for public consumption yet as we will be getting titles like Amityville: Karen, Bigfoot, Hex, Clown, and Sharkhouse! I wish I could make this shit up but the topper out of this glorious or not so glorious mess is one of the two Amityville movies in development is a FREAKIN’ REMAKE with a big budget! Did I miss something while I watched all of these? Anyway I needed to get this out of my system as I know I will part two of this article later this year when I am able to witness the five films to bring our total to 41! So kids don’t do this for fun do this as a group thing and enjoy the dumbness or the puzzling thoughts of how a couple entries can be, how is that an Amityville thing, why is there five more, why it take so long to do in the hood, why isn’t a space movie, and best of all you know the house exploded right? Good night horror kids…

Hope yinz enjoyed the article, if you wanna support come to our Grossfest show May 1st (www.grossfest.com for more details), be the sixth person in nine years to listen to our podcast (http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/) , or check me out at www.grossmoviereviews.com .

Gross Movie Reviews #564

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #564

Valley of Carnage (YouTube) – A newer S.O.V. short film from a new production team called Dungeon Entertainment. The short concerns a husband of an old married couple who loses his shit. He bashes his wife’s skull in and then goes about his way to brutally slay his co-workers. This short film made me laugh my balls off and if interested go check out their YouTube channel as it’s well worth your time if you are a S.O.V. fan as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

Deathhike (YouTube) – Another S.O.V. short from the Dungeon Entertainment gang where a group of four people decide to go hiking but they do believe their friend Cyle with a C instead of a K is a complete dick. Of course you cannot hike unless you smoke weed laced with angel dust for the hike. While under the influence the group begins to be stalked by a chubby dude in a fake welders mask. A fun premise for the S.O.V. genre that I feel they execute as well as it could have been as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

From Hell and Back (DVD) – First time writer/director/ producer Joshua Loscar takes a stab at making an independent film that involves drug dealers and a love story. A new drug K-10 has just hit the streets and a big drug lord which just happens to be Judge Rockwell wants some loose ends tied up. Meanwhile past lovers Terry and Dana get pulled into this kingpin’s world at different spectrums of his world and for different reasons only to find each other again. For a first stab at a project and not being in the horror genre I got to give Mr. Loscar kudos for giving it the old college try as it can be tough outside of the horror genre. To summarize the film simply I would say Joshua’s heart is in the right place with this independent production but the pacing is all wrong. You live and learn but if anything Mr. Loscar has me intrigue with what he does next as I give the film 2 out of 4 stars. If anything if Joshua is still interested in doing Indy projects outside of horror his best bet would be checking out some of the work from the talented Jared Bajoras of Churchill Pictures. I believe Jared’s work outside of horror speaks for itself.

The Amityville Moon (DVD) – Entry #29 apparently has werewolves showing up in Amityville, New York… We get a troubled detective looking into two young women missing from a halfway house where we all know the clergy have secrets. Their big secret is Sister Francis sleeping supposedly in the basement bedroom hooked up to blood bags to keep her satisfied. But it is a werewolf movie and nothing satisfies a good werewolf except humans so Sister Francis goes walkabout from time to time and her meals seem to be girls who disappear from this halfway house from time to time. Plain and simple though kids if your werewolf looks like shit it always equal bad movie unless you really are playing it for laughs. So let’s review kids: bad werewolf, bad movie, simple as I give this lackluster entry 1 star.

The Werewolf of Woodstock (YouTube) – This 1975 TV movie has a farmer going out during a storm only to have a freak accident with lightening. Apparently lightening changes you into a werewolf and every night Bert rip off his bandages and roam the farmland looking for victims. Once authorities figure out it is Bert they use rock music to lure the farmer out to trap him but the werewolf farmer is slick and steals a dune buggy to escape. This film is absolutely terrible but in such a fun way as I give it 2 ½ stars just for the laughs.

The Amityville Cult (DVD) – Entry #30 has a young man named Stan DeFeo inheriting his grandmother’s estate in Amityville… Wait WTF? What yinz kids doing here, come on. Anyhow a Thomas Davenport tracks down Stan to explain the inheritance. Once Stan arrives he becomes engrossed with his grandmother’s diary explaining her slutty ways in the 60s and how she fell in with some satanic friends. These Satanists supposedly control the community because they established their cult in the 60s if anything this super dull film will help you get some sleep as I give this boring ass film about Stan’s grandmother being a whore a ½ star. If interested you might find the film under the title ‘Birthright: An Amityville Horror’.

Amityville Vampire (DVD) – Surprise! Entry #31 has vampires… again. Also has the hilarious quote from a character, “I only came out here because you looked like a K-mart Ryan Reynolds”. The film is also known as ‘Red Moon Lake’ as a cleaning crew at the Amityville home in the middle of the woods disturbs the evil force. This demonic force possesses one of the crew and heads out into Red Moon Lake’s woods. Anyhow to give the movie a whole lot of filler a lovely couple is driving to Red Moon Lake for the weekend and keeps each other company discussing the vampire legend. There is a couple cool gore effects but movie is super boring at times especially when there is some of the most monotone acting you’ll ever see any movie as I give it a ½ star.         

Amityville Scarecrow (DVD) – Entry #32 is set in the U.K. where the Amityville land is a cornfield where a trailer park sits and corn has really never grown because the land was cursed! So siblings’ mother dies and they argue over what should be done with the cursed land such as rebuilding on it? Meanwhile their dead mum forgot to mention her and a few others went all Freddy Kruger backstory on a dude after some girls went missing years ago. Now there is an evil scarecrow that fucks up people who stay there at the generic trailer park. Just another dumb and terrible entry into the Amityville series that literally has the two other titles “Amityville Cornfield” and “Scarecrow’s Camp”. If that wasn’t enough brace yourself there is a sequel in the works as I give this entry zero stars.

Amityville Uprising (DVD) – Entry #33 has the small town of Amityville suffer a terrible explosion at the local military base that is causing a toxic storm of acid rain above the small town. For the most part the locals are calm until supernatural things begin to happen to residents turning them into demonic things that must attack the Amityville police station. Those inside of the station must fight for their lives cause there is… zombies man! Yinz really need to stop the madness of making these subpar entries as this gets 0 stars for zero thought.

Viva Knievel (DVD) – An all-star cast along with Evel Knievel who is just trying to entertain the world. But there is a bad ass sports agent that recruits a young friend of Evel to lure him for a lucrative bike jump in Mexico. The plan is get Evel there, he dies doing the bike jump, the sports agent loads up a truck that looks like part of the Evel’s convoy with drugs and bring them over the border with Evel’s dead body? With the help of Jessie, a reporter, and an old friend Evel the crazy stunt driver he is stops the elaborate scam to get drugs over the border. If you remember Evel Knievel but not the movie do yourself a favor and carve out 90 minutes for this fun motorcycle ride down memory lane as I give it 3 stars.

Amityville in the Hood (DVD) – Entry #34 is from Dustin Ferguson again as he tries to tie “Toybox” and “Clownhouse” into this entry into the series as it takes place three years later. A couple guys break into the infamous 112 Ocean Ave. to steal the enormous stash of weed. Meanwhile back in Compton, Big M is not happy someone has stolen his ultimate product called “Amityville Possession”. The weed is possessed causing those who take part into it to become demons. An Amityville police officer contacts a police officer in Compton to get evidence of the weed being spread there so he can have a search warrant to bring down the operation in Amityville. Problem the officer is plagued by the cursed objects and has a history with the infamous Amityville home. Will this stop him from stopping the Compton craziness as all are turning into demons? I loved the ‘Leprechaun in the Hood’ vibe to the film that Dustin had but felt the premise wasn’t seen to completion? Either way this entry was entertaining enough that I wouldn’t mind seeing more of it as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Amityville Witches (DVD) – Entry #35 has a couple similar titles, info, and different release years according some websites on the Google machine making it confusing and understanding at the same time why it is so hard to track some of these entries down. In some countries right now it can be found as ‘Amityville Academy’. Our story begins with a couple women being hung in 1602 for their beliefs. We flash forward to present day where two guys burglarize a home but are confronted by three witches who pleasantly get rid of them without a fuss. Thus this setting up a storyline where two covens are battling each other and a young woman named Jessica is stuck in the middle as she is the key for both. The film feels like a mash-up of the low budget series ‘Witchhouse’ with the 90s version of ‘The Craft’ and feel it would most likely stand up better without Amityville in the title. Now the film isn’t my cup of tea as I am not a huge fan of horror films with witches but this was a pleasant surprise 30 some entries in and believe this film has yet to find its audience as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Vendors… Grossfest is looking for you!

0
Posted on by

Hey horror related vendors Grossfest is looking for you!

We already have a nice variety of cool horror vendors and two guests (the legendary filmmaking duo of David F. Silvio and Cassandra Blue) but we are looking for a few more to fill our May 1st event. It is our “Halfway to Grossfest-o-ween” event sponsored by Willow Station Restaurant/Bar. In attempt to make all people in the independent horror community happy: vendors, filmmakers, authors, attendees, artists, etc. We are having the outdoor event outside of Willow Station Restaurant and Bar in Castle Shannon, Pa., 10am to 3pm. Vendor spaces will be 10 x 10 (you supply table, chairs, tent or canopy if wanted) as this will be a rain or shine event. The limited spaces are just $25 and one space to a vendor of course. The event is free to people who are attending (we just ask after visiting the cool vendors go inside Willow Station for a beer or brunch?)

Willow Station

3841 Willow Ave.

Pittsburgh, PA 15234

Bar/restaurant hours for that day will be 11am – 4pm.

https://www.thewillowstation.com/orwww.facebook.com/3841WillowStation

As always if there are any questions or you want a vendor application, please email us at grossfest@gmail.com or find us Tom or Tim Gross on Facebook.

Gross Movie Reviews #563

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #563

The Amityville Terror (DVD) – So entry #16 literally stars no one as a family moves into the haunted Amityville home with a relative. It doesn’t take long before things get weird as the cool sister Shae is possessed by the evil presence in the house but nevermind that as it’s more important for Hailey her niece to fit in at school? As no one is paying attention it becomes clear Hailey must figure out what is going on with this old house before the evil landlord sacrifices them for the greater good of the community. The effects are bad, the story is lazy, and once again somehow the house is able to control stuff away from the home, but don’t let that get in the way of watching this terrible film as I give it a ½ star.

Spine of Night (Shudder) – A pretty cool animated film that fans of such flicks ‘Fire and Ice’, ‘Heavy Metal’, and ‘Wizards’ will really dig! This violent fantasy film features witches, book burnings, great voiceover work, and an ultimate evil that believes he is an untouchable god. A select few take on an adventure that is all guaranteed a one-way ticket to death to stop a god who tries to protect the bloom that gives him his powers, plus we get a witch who returns from the dead to wage war.  All that and a bad ass ending make me give this throwback 3 stars.

The Amityville Exorcism (DVD) – Well Polonia Brothers Entertainment return for entry #17  as they return to Amityville, New York, to try to bring you a scary tale of horror. This time around you will almost laugh your ass right off your body as the demonic force of Amityville has taken over construction materials. The old possessed haunted home is up to its old tricks again as it possesses the contractor and his materials causing him to kill his family. Now that the materials have been used on another home it has infected that home and causing a family and a priest to deal with unspeakable evil. This very well could have been in the running for worst entry of the series if I wasn’t still laughing from the set-up of possessed construction materials as I give it 1 ½ stars for entertaining me for the wrong reasons.

Amityville: Vanishing Point (DVD) – 2016s independent production aka entry #18 is far and beyond the worst entry in the series but we will get to that in a minute. A woman dies in a boardinghouse (yes, a piece of cardboard hanging from someone’s porch written in sharpie “Boardinghouse”) which honest question do those still exist or was this some weird take on that S.O.V. flick from the early 80s of the same name? Anyhow it’s hard to follow but a weirdo attempt at a detective looks into the matter and its occupants as it is believed the boardinghouse itself maybe trying to murder people. I believe this is the first entry in the series that completely distances itself from the original Amityville movie or events? But there is a mention of this unnamed creepy ass town without saying “Amityville”, so I will let you make that determination if you can ever track down a copy of this film. Tracking it down wasn’t easy but can be done?  This cobbled mess features a cameo from Lloyd Kaufmann, a horrible strip tease, a possessed penis, a possible possessed Keith Hernandez baseball card, and rape for no reason. Now saying all that the sad part is it’s hard to give this entry a fair watch because the sound and editing are so bad and so off the movie/DVD was pulled from everything (streaming/DVD copies)! To top it off the so-called filmmakers never fixed it. So no matter what I watch from here on out the Amityville series cannot be any worse than this poor excuse that in reality calling it a film would be an actual compliment as it gets ZERO stars.   

Amityville Toybox (DVD) – Dustin Ferguson takes a shot of interjecting some life into the series with entry #19 or also known as ‘The Amityville Legacy’ almost 40 years after the original. During a 50th birthday party a gentleman is given an old school musical chimp toy as a present that just so happens to be cursed. It is cursed, because it was there when the original murders occurred. Enjoying or adoring his childhood nostalgia in the toy Mark quickly becomes possessed which causes him to turn on the family. If the chimp wasn’t enough the Amityville fly makes an appearance in sound mostly to annoy possible victims. I’ll give Dustin credit for trying something a little different but just like part four of this series it comes off as a lost episode of the ‘Friday the 13th’ TV series where the monkey needs returned to “Curious Goods” as I give the film 2 stars.

Amityville Clownhouse (DVD) – Entry #20 aka ‘Amityville: Evil Never Dies’ continues the storyline of “Toybox” with the cursed toy chimp going to a cute couple who picks it up at a so-called junk store. But we are introduced to a clown painting and a killer clown for a few scenes that seem to have no relevance to the overall story as the focus is still on the cursed musical chimp infecting another family. Once the demonic force has done its damage the junk store owner comes in for the cleanup and resale of the item. Not a terrible entry into the series but feels like it should have been just jammed in the mix with the last film to make one story but that is just my opinion as I give it 2 stars.

Amityville Prison (DVD) – Entry #21 from 2017 is completely and truly Amityville free as its other title is ‘Against the Night’ as the Amityville tag was placed on the feature for unknown reasons (or at least when I was looking it could not find a real reason). Anyway, a young filmmaker and friends get the bright idea to go do some ghost hunting at the local abandoned prison. This folks is never a good idea but moving on the filmmaker believes it would be a wonderful idea to get shots of his friends scared until real paranormal shit seems to be happening and cannot be explained. Quickly the group dwindles being killed off one by one by a figure in a Harry Warden-style respirator mask. A couple of small twists makes this a pleasant surprise for the series even though it is by title only and explains to the young kids why it isn’t ever a good idea of running around a dark, abandoned prison as I give this film 3 stars.

Amityville: Mt. Misery Road (DVD) – Entry #22 goes full steam ahead with the story of Native Americans selling cursed land in New York to dumb white people back in the 1650s or something to that effect. Since then this stretch of land has had legendary strange occurrences and considered to be one of the most haunted roads in America. A Florida couple (or what I like to call douchebag and his fake stripper wife aka employee) are intrigue by the haunted area and choose to travel to upstate New York to investigate. Besides complaining they are cold and getting an old dude to tell boring stories they use the last 35 minutes of the film to do a poor reenactment of ‘The Blair Witch Project’. Okay, the ‘Vanishing Point’ entry has a sort of an out with never fixing the sound or editing but this entry is just downright shameful and gives a bad name to actual independent filmmakers who actually bust their ass to put together an actual production. Honestly there are several filmmakers out there that make some of the best horror films in recent years and they cannot find distribution but this piece of shit or so-called movie starring douchebag gets put out there for the masses… There is your answer in what is wrong with movie companies and their standards. Next time do everyone on this earth a favor and flush this dumb shit down the toilet. As I give this NOTHING I hope the company that put this entry out there for a moron like me to find goes bankrupt! Be warned this might be the first film you ever watch that might make you visibly angry to others that it exists?

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Netflix) – Are all the horror movie fans done losing their F’N minds? Stop it, just like the Friday the 13th films isn’t this eight or nine? What in the Rutger Hauer are you expecting? Also this newest entry bit hard on the new ‘Halloween’. Now, with that out of the way kids this was a violent fun horror movie with some crazy old dude that lives in an abandoned town with a woman who looks after him. Once she dies from the shock of some young people taking her home and has you wanting them to die horribly immediately when their characters are introduced we get this weirdo wearing a dead woman’s face acting like Leatherface… Meanwhile, Sally has been holding a grudge for 50 years and has returned to get her revenge for her friends from the original film. Honestly horror fans put your shit aside and go watch this film with an open mind and not calling it ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’. Sounds like an argument I made for the ‘Dawn of the Dead’ remake some years back but whatever point is I just laugh yinz decided three remakes and how many sequels later you are finally outraged? Guess what if you hated 2013s entry then you are definitely not allowed to like this one but that is a whole other conversation. Anyway horror fans calm your asses down and go watch this violent lunatic chainsaw through a bus full of idoits as the film gets done quick with an 83 minute running time as I give it 3 stars.

The Amityville Murders (DVD) – So apparently for the 23rd entry in case you never heard of the DeFeo murders which started this whole mess or the countless documentaries about the original film and book and what influenced them you get a prequel. For the most part it goes through everything we have already heard or learned about over the years just with a couple big names in Diane Franklin and Burt Young. The film clearly has a budget and not terrible, it is just everything most people over the age of 30 know about. So if you are a newer horror fan? Or maybe you are a teenage horror fan that has been curious about the Amityville legacy? This might be a good starting point for you? Not what I was expecting 23 entries in as I give it 2 stars.

Amityville Cop (DVD) – So entry #25 comes in at a brisk 68 minutes concerning a couple of detectives, a captain with something to hide 20 years ago, a cop being sacrificed, and it happens to take place on New Year’s Eve. Imagine ‘Maniac Cop’ got shoehorned into a cop comedy and was watchable? Hard to imagine but it actually was watchable as I give it 1 ½ stars.

The Amityville Harvest (DVD) – Took it long enough to do something stupid… again but entry #27 comes up with a vampire story. A documentary crew heads to an old funeral home for a project that concerns liquor during the civil war or something? They all get something more than they bargain for as the caretaker Mr. Vincent Miller explains the real story about the Lincoln assassination and then begins to slowly feed on the crew. Try to ignore the weird and creepy close ups of Mr. Miller during their documentary project part of the film it will just annoy you as I give the film 1 star.

Bigfoot’s Bride (DVD) – First time independent director Erick Wofford really tries to do something different with the Bigfoot legend but fails miserably. Basic premise of this film is Bigfoot aka ‘Wrong Turn’ extra aka a bad looking twin of Jason in Friday part seven aka or my favorite term for him “GENERIC BIGFOOT” who also is wearing overalls, hates messy dudes, and enjoys drinking a hot babe’s urine. Yes, kids that is the whole film! Yikes, I couldn’t stop laughing how terrible this was as I give it 0 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Bloodbaths and Boomsticks do the Robert Ginty episode!

0
Posted on by

This week we gather once again to talk about genre movies.  But this time we bring back our good, good friend Jon Cross of the After Movie Diner to talk about 3 Robert Ginty flicks and one episode of Murder She Wrote that he was in.  First let the incest fly as Robert Ginty and his sister (or at least her face) is after a giant diamond in WHITE FIRE.  Then as embarrassing as it is Kyle covers THE EXTERMINATOR as he watches it for the first time.  And then we have an episode of Murder She Wrote with Ginty and show favorite Stephen Macht from season 8 of the series.  And Lastly Ginty teams up with Cynthia Rothrock to kick ass in LADY DRAGON. Along with all this we read the news, and take your listener questions… but mostly we talk about how awesome it was that time Donald Pleasence chainsawed the entire bar in half in Race for the Yankee Zephyr.  So download this episode or your local bar may be next!!!  

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #562

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #562

Vertigo (DVD) – This Hitchcock film from 1958 is debated among many movie fans on how high it actually ranks among Hitchcock’s classics as it has a couple twists to it? Jimmy Stewart is a retired detective after he had an incident while chasing a criminal on rooftops. John has trouble with overcoming this fear so believes he should stay retired until a rich friend of his wants John to follow his wife for a bit of an unusual reason. John’s rich friend comes up with a whole possession of a past relative is the reason but that doesn’t stop John falling in love with her and trying to help her. The twist comes when she commits suicide and John cannot take the shock but a year later finds himself seeing her again… alive. More to the plot than I am leading on and there are a lot of things that can be pulled from this movie to debate on if you look closer? To me at least it is an interesting film but maybe not the best from Hitchcock as I give this debated classic 2 ½ stars.

Lethal Games (VHS) – A little known b-movie action flick from 1991 that stars Frank Stallone in a tale of vengeance. A new construction company pops into town to corrupt the cops and hire two goons to run people off their property. But after a couple of women have been wronged by the goons they team up with Sly’s brother to fight back and regain their community. Not a whole lot to be excited about except for a dude getting blown to bits by a rocket launcher in the last 5 minutes as I give it 1 star.

The Amityville Horror (DVD) – This 1979 film was based on the book that was written about the experience of the Lutz family had in the infamous haunted house where they only lived there for a few weeks before moving. The new family supposedly moved into a house that was the sight of a mass murder and experience lots of paranormal activity that gained worldwide attention. As a kid this movie scared the holy crappola out of everyone but as the years have passed it’s been proven a hoax. As the years go on and rewatch after rewatch the shine on this horror film as dulled. Once a classic, now I believe doesn’t hold a candle to stuff like: The Exorcist and The Omen of the same era as I give it 2 stars.

The Amityville Horror (DVD/remake) – I will be the first to admit I was surprised this film was getting an update in 2005 along with starring Ryan Reynolds as George Lutz. This film goes with more of the possession of George along with the usual paranormal bullcrap but you do get to see a very mean side of Mr. Reynolds as George Lutz that is kind of unsuspected but cool. In the end some horror fans love this version but I find it forgettable more than anything as I gave it another chance and it still didn’t do anything for me as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Baby Oopsie (Tubi) – So Charles Band has decided to dip into the less popular ‘Demonic Toys’ pool and let William Butler hopefully work his magic once again with an ultra-low budget even for Full Moon. But Butler comes out swinging as we are introduced to Sybil, a shy chubby woman who is a doll collector and has an internet show about dolls. When Sybil isn’t being picked on constantly by co-workers or mom she receives unexpectingly a package that contains “Baby Oopsie’s” head. After she fixes it up and has it on her show Baby Oopsie decides it is time to seek revenge on those who have wronged Sybil. It seems like the right thing to happen until Sybil struggles with trying to control her new doll and what damage it can actually do! Super surprised how entertaining this new Full Moon film was but with saying that this project didn’t need to be split into two parts but that s for another conversation as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Amityville Asylum (DVD) – So by some chance you are a complete crazy person like me and keeping track: this is entry #11! Okay folks two minutes in they are trying to connect to the original slayings in 1974. How you ask? Well apparently Lisa is a young woman who badly needs a job and just got hired by an asylum as a janitor. Things are good until Lisa begins seeing dead people throughout the night while working but oh yeah some shithead built an asylum on top of 112 Ocean Ave. If that wasn’t enough story for you 11 entries in, Lisa is a patient and she is a part of the Dark Master’s plan? So begin your WTF is this series doing as this cheap entry was shot in the U.K. but sloppily tries to make you think it’s Amityville, New York as I give this a ½ star.

Bingo Hell (DVD) – Welcome to Oak Springs where the seniors of the community love their little dying community as they try to rage against the hipsters and the inevitable rebuilding. These seniors do their best to help each other out throughout the community until a mysterious black car shows up and they find out Mario just sold the bingo hall. Lupita the leader of the seniors warn them all of what bad things will come with new membership of the bingo hall but that doesn’t stop the new owner Mr. Big$ to suck residents into the devil’s den bright den. As Mr. Big keeps stealing souls of the community, Lupita refuses to break and has to figure out how to bring down this mysterious demonic presence before he feeds on all their souls. Richard Brake checks in with a wonderful performance as usual and we get a nice amount of gore but this horror film suffers from something I cannot put a finger on that stopped me from completely enjoying the horror film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Amityville Playhouse (DVD) – Just in case yinz kids are still counting pay attention because entry #13 is also known as ‘The Amityville Theater’ or ‘Amityville Legacy’ depending what country you are in and if you are streaming it? Anyhow part 13 is Canadian after having a short stint in the U.S. under the direction of Mark Polonia. This time around we get a film that involves a young lady named Fawn who inherits a movie theater in Amityville after her parents die. So of course the Fawn and the rest of the Scooby gang get locked into the theater for the dullest entry of the series yet. Oh hey bright idea… let’s bring an Ouija board and have the main plotline about six people being killed on November 13th every year? Again welcome to the WTF world of Amityville but gotta give them credit: 36 years, 13 entries in and they are still trying to connect all this to the original murders and haunted home. Sounds fun but it is not because I am now invested and must this through as I have to give this dud 0 stars.   

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Halfway to Grossfest-o-ween

0
Posted on by

Hey Grossfest fans it has been a long time but mark your calendars for May 1st, 2022 as we have an event for you! It is our “Halfway to Grossfest-o-ween” event sponsored by Willow Station Restaurant/Bar. In attempt to make all people in the independent horror community happy: vendors, filmmakers, authors, attendees, artists, etc. We are having an outdoor event in the back parking lot of Willow Station Restaurant and Bar in Castle Shannon, Pa. The back parking lot of the building and patio will be the place to be from 10am to 3pm. Vendor spaces will be 10 x 10 (you supply table, chairs, tent if wanted) as this will be a rain or shine event. The limited spaces are $25 and (just one space to a vendor and of course first to pay, first to get them). If you are just attending the event to see what horror related stuff people will have at the Grossfest event the admission is free for all but we encourage for you to go inside this wonderful bar/restaurant Willow Station, as they have delicious food and great drinks. Menus will be inside as you must order and pay inside. This will hopefully be the beginning of many upcoming Grossfest events we are planning.

Willow Station

3841 Willow Ave.

 Pittsburgh, PA 15234

Their hours for that day will be 11am – 4pm.

https://www.thewillowstation.com/ or www.facebook.com/3841WillowStation

As always if there are any questions or you want a vendor application, please email us at grossfest@gmail.com or find us Tom or Tim Gross on Facebook.

It’s been a month but we got three new episodes of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast for you!

0
Posted on by

This week we do one of our favorite shows with one of our favorite people T-Shirt Joe.  And that show will be a recap of the good, the bad, and the mediocre of 2021.  Everyone else did it so why no us.  So download this episode or NO T-SHIRT FOR YOU (because Seinfeld… ya know)

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week Tim, Kyle and John return to talk about yet 3 more movies that you may have overlooked.  First John talks about a great flick that was theatrically released last year but didn’t do much at the box office in the great monster flick ANTLERS.  Then Kyle talks about a buddy druggie flick that stars 2pac and Tim Roth in one of those “everything goes wrong” movies in GRIDLOCK’D. And finally Tim chats about one of his favorite independent comedies to come out lately in BURGERON BROTHERS: WEDDIN VIDEOGRAPHERS,  Along the way we chat about the current state of the foosballs, how Kyle got THE COVID, We got your questions and all the news that’s fit to chat about.  ALSO, we take the first trip down the Amityville road by talking about the O.G. Amityville Horror movie in what will be us covering a 52 week series reviewing any movie with Amityville in the title.  So download this episode or GET OUT!!!!!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This time Tim, Kyle and John come back and bring another 3 flicks from the deep recesses of your local mom and pop video store to talk about.  First we have an oldie but a goodie and what may be a very early inspiration for Batman in THE BAT WHISPERS.  Then Kyle finds out what happens when Corey Feldman and his buddies get up to when they find rocket launchers and a pissed off Don Swayze while playing grab ass in the woods in EDGE OF HONOR.  And Finally John talks about an Agatha Christie adaptation starring Donald Pleasence and Frank Stallone in the Cannon Groups’ version of 10 LITTLE INDIANS.  We also get up to our old nonsense like talking football, reading the news, and answering your questions.  So download this episode or your less talented sibling will tell you to listen to another podcast.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #561

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #561

The Amityville Curse (DVD) – Okay kids if you are counting at home this number five in the series where a priest is murdered in his confessional thingy and someone had the bright idea to store it in the legendary haunted house. (It’s not the original house but just go with it.) We get character actor Kim Coates as part of a group of five people garb the home to fix and flip before that was a thing on TV. As they begin work on the house almost immediately supernatural shit happens or is the character Frank just crazy or is the house possessed by the confessional thingy? This movie leaves you with more questions than answers but we do get a possessed cat in the last frame of the film to keep the series alive as I give this entry 2 stars.

Easter Bunny Massacre (DVD) – During the underappreciated holiday weekend called Easter a group of high school seniors head out to party in the woods. But in the morning they wake to find one of their own has been murdered and all unsure who did it? Of course the best thing is to cover it up and a year passes only for these degenerates to be invited to an Easter celebration and go to it. All their invites is from the dead girl Heather but also this film is from the U.K. believing high school seniors care about Easter? Any hooey, another “massacre” flick off the list as I give it 1 star.

Massacre County (DVD/YouTube) – If by some chance you live overseas and reading this review the film over your neck of the woods is ‘Massacre Country’… it was made in Brazil and they are trying to cater to all audiences, Nevermind. We are immediately introduced to a clown being interrogated by authorities who they believe just massacred a group of people? Nevermind the sadistic looking farmer wearing the animal mask but there is a reason as the story unfolds. Most of the film is a story going back and forth between clown and cop telling what happened. Basically a group of horny people head for a vacation for a few days only to be met by two clowns who want to burglarize them for their money. But things get bloody and sideways quickly. A fun little weird horror flick that didn’t need to be pushing the two hour time limit or it would have been much more enjoyable as I give it 2 stars.

Amityville 1992: It’s About Time (DVD) – And onto number six but this one looks like it is somewhat coherent or at least at first glance since it stars Stephen Macht and Megan Ward. This time around Stephen Macht brings home a possessed clock home for the family from the east coast. Bottom line kids’ evil must find a new home! After Macht’s character gets chomped on by the neighborhood dog Peaches he loses his mind and draws pictures of the original Amityville home and things get weird for the whole family. It was somewhat entertaining as I give this entry 2 stars.

The Haunted Strangler (DVD/YouTube) – This late 50s flick has Boris Karloff in old school London as a novelist who is investigating a killer named “Styles” who is long dead. James believed Styles never fit the actions he was accused of and wants to look deeper into the murders that happened decades before. Rankin’s research revolves around a missing surgical knife from a doctor’s kit he believes this is the key to what he is looking for? Mr. Rankin figures out the knife was buried with Styles and digs it up but to his horror the object changes him Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde style. Every time Rankin grabs for the knife he becomes a different person and begins to murder knowing in the end the knife must be buried again or destroyed. Not the perfect gem late in Karloff’s career but still a good one to watch as clearly Karloff enjoyed the role as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

The New Invisible Man (DVD/YouTube) – The film in Mexico is known as ‘El Hombre Invisible’ and dubbed in English on the YouTube. A man named Charles Hill is wrongly accused of murder but the police want their man and he was the one found at the murder scene. Meanwhile Hill’s brother is working on a formula for invisibility that the wife of Charles hopes he perfects to use on Hill in prison to get him out. Hill’s brother makes a surprise visit to the prison hospital since authorities are worried about Charles and injects him with the experimental formula. Surprisingly the formula works and Charles is able to escape prison being hidden by his wife but the authorities are determined to track him down and bring him back. As usual Charles goes a bit insane and wants to rule the world but his insanity stops him from making the clean escape from authorities as I give this late 50s flick 2 stars.

Amityville: A New Generation (DVD) – In the seventh entry they are just throwing money around as we got a cast of Richard Roundtree, David Naughton, Terry O’Quinn, and that bad ass woman from ‘First Blood II’! A group of artists live in a building where they are planning to have an art show to show off their works when they ain’t bumping uglies. A homeless person gives a mirror to a photographer and asks him, “to look deeper”. Once the mirror enters the loft of course it is killing people who look into it because it’s from the original Amityville house again. A couple sweaty sex scenes, some gore, the photographer finds out his father was the homeless man who gave him the mirror and wants him to enter the family business of murder… supposedly? Surprisingly the film isn’t horrible but the ending seems to go on forever as I give this entry 2 stars.

Amityville: Dollhouse (DVD) – This mid-90s flick is the eighth entry into the movie series where a family moves into a newly built home in the middle of nowhere. Dad finds a replica Amityville dollhouse out back in the shed and brings it in for a birthday present for his daughter. Of course the replica doesn’t take long in possessing the newly built home and trying to kill its occupants when it isn’t causing stepmom having sex dreams of her teenage stepson causing someone who watched this to start a sub-genre for PornHub?! When the replica isn’t playing on everyone’s dream apparently it is cheaper to build a house when there is an old fireplace? Believe me pay attention as this film goes off the rails with its dialog and how the whole kids, step kids, mom and dad dynamic doesn’t make a lick of sense but it’s an Amityville film so let’s not let that get in the way of logic as I give this sequel 1 star. 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!