Gross Movie Reviews #506

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Gross Movie Reviews #506

 

Scream, Queen! My Nightmare on Elm Street (Shudder) – A documentary that has been years in the making that centers on the actor Mark Patton from the second film in the series. For many years Mark was blamed by many fans for the failure of the sequel. In reality it did not fail it was just pointed out how “gay” the film was and the blame was placed on Mark Patton by the writer of the film and many critics over the years. This project and the aftermath changed his life so much he chose to walk away until he was contacted for the ‘Never Sleep Again’ documentary about the whole series and this is where Mark’s journey begins. A very interesting look into an industry that can just crush a human being into nothing but Mark has made it past it all to enjoy what he has now. This is a must watch for every Elm Street fan and horror fans in general as I give this 4 stars. For me I just always felt the film never fit the flow of the series and seemed darker than the first. But also too I wasn’t looking for the gay subplot like so many and just watching it for what it was a sequel. And for the love of Freddy ‘The Dream Child’ was just downright terrible not ‘Freddy’s Revenge’ and so glad Mark is on top of the world now.

 

Itsy Bitsy! (DVD) – A black egg is stolen from an ancient tribe and it is given to an old man for his now deceased wife. But the old man doesn’t see it that way and unwilling to trade or sacrifice to this ancient egg, things are predicted to go bad in his life soon. When the egg is broken it unleashes this huge hideous spider that slowly takes over the attic of his new neighbors or nurse and family who are going to take care of him. While things disappear, strange noises are heard, and the family is breaking a part slowly the huge spider is planning on the family being the feast it wants. Not a great spider film, it’s more of a second rate Goosebumps film than something fun as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Victim (YouTube) – A 1972 TV movie starring everybody’s sweetheart from the ‘Bewitched’ show, Elizabeth Montgomery where she plays a character named Kathryn Wainwright. Kathryn is worried about her soon-to-be divorced younger sister Suzie. So Kathryn travels to her sister’s out of the way place during a storm that has knocked out phone lines and roads. Once there Kathryn cannot find Suzie and has learned from a friend of Suzie’s the long time housekeeper was fired a while ago. As the mystery thickens the soon-to-be ex-husband shows up and the housekeeper is still lurking around. A quite fun TV mystery worth checking out if you got 70 minutes to burn as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Strange and Deadly Occurrence (YouTube) – A TV movie from 1974 that looked like it had potential starring Robert Stack and Vera Miles. They are a family with their teenage daughter move out from the big city to the mountain small town area. First six months of living there everything is just fine then all of sudden problems with the electricity; a weird ass doctor dude asking to buy the place, gopher problems, and the daughter is having some strange dreams at night. The cops have been a few times and just believe it is the rich city folk overreacting, but when the weird doctor shows up dead in the pool things get interesting… Or should have? Not to give too much away like I did on our podcast Bloodbaths and Boomsticks: The buildup was cool but the payoff can go suck a bag of dicks because it was lame as I give this limp entry of a TV movie 1 star.

Shellmont County Massacre (DVD) – A small town has a serial killer problem suddenly and it quickly gets out of hand when a young man in a clown mask decides to start knocking on peoples’ doors. He absolutely enjoys the horror he brings to those who open the door. The serial killer is nicknamed “The Shellmont Butcher” when the bodies keep piling up and the sheriff no longer wants to bring the killer to justice but just end his existence. The actors were good, great exploding head effect along with some fun gore scenes, but the middle of the film feels more like filler than actually having something to keep you interested throughout the film. Hack off ten minutes or so of the filler and I believe independent fans are saying a lot of great things about this film as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Battle Beyond the Stars (DVD) – Plain and simple this was Roger Corman’s answer to ‘Star Wars’… ‘The Magnificent Seven’ in outer space. A peaceful planet is threatened to be destroyed in a few days by an overlord in John Saxon. A young man is sent out into space to seek out mercenaries who would be willing to help their cause in fighting this overlord. Depending how you are looking at the ship the kid is flying it is either a huge ballsack or a pair of giant boobies! Anyhow the young man finds some characters who are more than willing to help fight Sador in a war in which Sador has never lost. The biggest threat to them all is the weapon called “Stellar Converter”, if they can stop that they can stop Sador. For 1980 and on a Corman budget the film still holds up somewhat today as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Milwaukee Murders (VHS) – A never released S.O.V. movie with big hair, so-called twenty-something actors playing high school kids, an exploding Ford Pinto, and a killer on the loose. But it isn’t just any killer it is Vanessa’s boy toy Huey who is being teased for seeing an older woman by his friends. Vanessa convinces Huey to kill for her and as proof she wants body parts. But be careful what you wish for Vanessa as it backfires and Huey comes for her also! The movie is terrible and hilarious as you can see why it was never released intentionally. Even it is bad I am glad I did get to watch it as I give it maybe… 1 star.

Massacre on Aisle 12 (DVD) – It is Christmas Eve and Dave has started his new job at the big hardware store. Dave and another employee try to move a heavy tool crib until they open it and find out along with all the store employees there is a dead body in it. Also a large sack of money! The employees are faced with a dilemma keep the money or call the cops. Or just lockdown the store and awkwardly not try to kill each other while trying to act like you don’t want the money… Money or not the bodies drop quickly and the filmmakers use the location to its fullest as I give this fun little horror comedy 3 stars.

 

Thunder (VHS) – Mark Gregory, a young Native American comes back home only to find trouble quickly with his local law officers. If that wasn’t bad enough a construction company has begun to build on the ancient cemetery that is protected by a treaty between the government and Indians many years ago. Thunder tries to do the right thing and take it to the authorities, the bank, but none of give a crap because he is a Native American. So Thunder decides to go to war with the police department and the construction company himself. The authorities try to make it out like Thunder is a crazy person but a news reporter who happens to be driving through the town stays to write a story. This might be the only way Thunder isn’t killed by the authorities? A fun Eye-talian rip-off of ‘First Blood’ starring Bo Svenson as the sheriff and it was shot in Arizona in 1983 as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Thunder 2 (VHS) – After barely escaping a few years back Thunder returns to his small town again but this time he returns as a deputy sheriff who was hired by the governor. Thunder quickly learns of a corrupt deputy that is taking advantage of young poor Native Americans with drugs. Soon Thunder finds himself framed and sent to county jail. But of course that doesn’t last long as he breaks out and goes to war again with the town and the police. The first film was a fun rip-off where the sequel seems more like a thrown together film in hopes of making a quick buck with no thought as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Blood Feast (remake/DVD) – I had no expectations going into this film because just like everyone else I felt this had been done already… ‘Blood Diner’ anyone! Hell even ‘Blood Feast 2’ made a decade or two ago? But of course that didn’t stop anyone as an American family the Ramses headed to Paris six months ago and started an American restaurant. The owner Fuad is having tough times so he picks up a second job working night shift at a museum. One morning Fuad loses his pills which are critical to his health and that night is when he witnesses Ishtar. Ishtar has fascinated Fuad so much he goes to the library and does research on the goddess. Thus the research makes Fuad believe he has found the answer to his failings in Paris and it starts with a feast that upcoming Saturday night with his family. Not only is he feeding on those he is killing but his family will also feast all in the name of Ishtar. There is doubt the film is gory as hell and Robert Rusler has that voice that just fits the role for the film but I was still not impressed overall. The film isn’t overall and maybe this is more for the newest generation of horror fans but I will always have ‘Blood Diner’ as I give this film 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

Gross Movie Reviews #448

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Gross Movie Reviews #448

 

The Babysitter (DVD) – This teen horror film that is a wolf in sheep’s clothing lures you in thinking the film is just another teen horror but blossoms into a hilarious gore fest. Cole is a nerdy teenager that still has a babysitter. But the babysitter is a very hot young lady named Bee that just seems to get Cole. Cole and she have a lot in common and Cole is starting to grow up and see Bee in a different light. Cole convinced by the girl across the street to stay up to see if Bee parties or make out with her boyfriend after Cole goes to sleep during babysitting nights. Cole does… And what Cole witnesses is nothing he was prepared for as Bee invites friends for a game of spin-the-bottle which turns into a blood-soaked sacrifice! Cole now must go all “Home Alone” in order to survive Bee and her friends now he knows the truth. The horror flick is a fun reminder yes it takes lots of blood and guts to entertain but also just a simple hilarious storyline could make the horror film worth the watch. I really enjoyed this fun horror flick as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

The Demon Murder Case (YouTube) – A 1983 TV movie that claims to be based on the ‘Warrens’ but using different names and stars Kevin Bacon. Kevin’s character Kenny and his girlfriend go to check out a house and his girlfriend’s younger brother claims seeing a burned up 4 foot man at the house. As the days pass the younger brother changes, seems different. When things get out of control and the police get involved, priests are called in and even paranormal experts. The kid claims this demon called “The Beast” has taken him over? Kenny cares for the kid so much he challenges the demon and the demon takes the challenge on and possesses Kenny. A death is involved and most of the story is told from flashbacks as Kenny stands trial for murder a year after events. A cool lost TV horror flick that I believe has not been released on DVD and possibly ever on VHS as I cannot find it. But you can find it on YouTube as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

This House Possessed (YouTube) – Again here is another rare TV movie find from my childhood. The film was released in 1981 on NBC starring Parker Stevenson, Lisa Eilbacher, and pay attention ‘Elm St.’ fans Amanda Wyss. Gary is a hard working singer who doesn’t take much down time collapses at a concert. He is rushed to the hospital and told he needs to take a break from the business as drugs or heavy drinking is ruled out. Sheila is a nurse that Gary hits it off with and trusts and hires her to take care of him while he goes on an extended vacation. They head out driving in the middle of nowhere and find a very cool house by itself. The house was a hi-tech house built before they were popular but hasn’t been really lived in since a fire several years ago. Once bought and settled in, Sheila and Gary start to become more of a couple the home seem to have a mind of its own and begins to spy on them. Strange things and eventually deaths happen surrounding the house. You get a water hose spraying down a young couple on the lawn, the house crushing a woman in her car with the front gates, and even boiling another woman in the pool. The TV movie feels so 70s but was released in 1981 and to my knowledge has not been released on any format. So as I give this film 3 stars take a gander at YouTube and search for this horror gem.

Bubba the Redneck Werewolf (DVD) – Bubba is a redneck through and through and doesn’t stand up for himself much as his high school girlfriend (Bobbi Jo) is now seeing someone else. Bubba depressed decides to make a deal with a demon to help this status and he is turned into a werewolf for his soul. While Bubba is learning of his new appearance, strength, actually having sex with Bobbi Jo, and hunger for chicken wings at the bar, the demon is going around the small town and finding gullible folks. The demon makes deals for their souls that go bad quickly. Now the small town looks to Bubba the Redneck Werewolf to do something about it? And Bubba does what any self-respecting person does and that is challenge the demon to a game of quarters! I absolutely loved this film and totally believe if the great horror film “Wolfcop” exists more horror fans would have found this 2014 flick and been talking about it. This is much lower budgeted film than “Wolfcop” but is very witty take on the werewolf concept and think horror and werewolf fans need to give this film a chance as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Burning Dead (DVD) – Okay somehow Danny Trejo is a Native American who tells a story of the ‘Donner Party’ in 1846 is part of some kind of volcanic zombies? Now in present day the volcano has erupted again it is bringing the zombies back with its exploding green rocks. Confused… Bored? Just pass on this one folks as this is why I exist to watch crap like this as I give it 1 star for just Danny Trejo showing up.

 

Last Ones Out (Shudder) – In 2015, an unknown virus hits rural parts of South Africa and it is beginning to spread. An American is there with his fiancée but has an appendix problem. While awaiting surgery in the hospital the virus hits and he wakes to find no one is left except a nurse. Now, the American, the nurse, a doctor and his brother make their way across the country side hopefully to find help? The American claims there is a convoy at a location that leaves in the morning as it can take them out of the quarantine zone. This isn’t a zombie flick as much as a rage virus flick aka “28 Days Later”. If you were a fan of the flick “The Dead” that was released a few years back this will be in your wheelhouse as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Sheborg Massacre (DVD) – An Australian film that is a big old mix of several genres about a cyborg alien that escapes its captors to crash land on earth near a puppy farm. This cyborg alien uses the puppy farm for food and begins its evil plan of turning people into machines. Meanwhile two hot young ladies are causing havoc around town and get together with a punk rock singer to go release the puppies from their prison. Unbeknownst to them once at the puppy farm they must fight these cyborgs in order to escape. Once back home they must make the decision to go to war with these cyborgs and the alien in order to not only survive, save their little town, but the world. This movie is a glorious bloody mess and the women that played the roles of Dylan and Eddie were absolutely fucking awesome! If you enjoy “Dead Alive”, “Evil Aliens”, “Bad Taste” this 3 ½ star horror film is right up your alley.

 

Fear Town, USA (DVD) – It is St. Blevins Day, the day of big celebrations. The day to celebrate St. Blevin who led all the polish children out of the village to the ocean and their death! So there is a big party that everyone is trying to get into. Four nerdy Dungeons and Dragons bros are going, some others are just camping out next to it, supposedly there is an escaped mental patient, and there is a ghost sorority girl. Mash this all together with dudes and women talking about getting their pussies crushed every thirty seconds and you have this hilarious slasher film. But the best part of the film might be the four nerdy bros who find the wrong party and become a part of a sacrifice that doesn’t work so the Satan worshippers decide to start a bowling league! Fun random stuff my friends and has been released by Troma so go support as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Silent Madness (DVD) – A lesser known 1984 slasher film also known as “Beautiful Screamers”, “The Omega Factor”, and “The Nightkillers”, is about a patient that is mistakenly released from the Cresthaven Hospital. The patient Howard Johns is a man with a murderous past and heads to a small woman’s college to continue his killing spree. A doctor from the hospital heads to the college to investigate this clerical error. She goes uncover for the local paper so she can find out more at the college but stumbles upon what may have sparked everything 17 years ago. Not the best of the slasher films but if you are a completest you will want this on your list as I give it 2 stars. At this time I believe there is only a Region 2 DVD of this title.

 

Summer of 84 (DVD) – It is Freeport, Oregon, June 1984 and a serial killer is loose in suburbia. Four friends get together and decide to stalk the neighborhood cop they believe is the serial killer. But they do not have evidence so they come up with a plan to get some. The friends keep come up with dead ends until finally they get the bright idea to break in his house and video tape their findings. Problem is they find way more than they wanted too and now the cop is on the run or so they think as he wants revenge. The film has that “Stand by Me” vibe so I was in from the beginning and enjoyed the kids trying to solve who the killer. But I believe the coolest thing of this movie was the feel of 1984. The shoes, the bikes, the background cars and houses, they got everything right to help set up this story. Yeah the movie isn’t exactly horror and runs a few minutes long but don’t let that stop you from seeing a very entertaining flick as I give it 3 stars.

 

Mom and Dad (DVD) – This bat shit crazy film stars Nic Cage and Selma Blair as normal parents just trying to make it through parenthood. But a strange unexplained virus is hitting parents worldwide where they have the urge to kill their own children. And parents are just doing plain boring murders they are trying to do some brutal ass damage. Once the virus hits Nic Cage and Selma Blair’s characters it is freaking hilarious as they chase their kids all over the house and try to gas them out of the basement. When you thought it could not get any better we get a great scene about life sucking with kids and people not understanding. But the ultimate topper is when the grandparents show up for the forgotten dinner and the grandpa is mother fucking the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen and he starts stabbing the shit out of Nic Cage. Horror fans check the brains at the door and just enjoy this this amazing piece of film of complete chaos and how beautiful it is as I give it 4 stars.

 

Party Bus to Hell (DVD) – Bus full party goers are on their way to ‘The Burning Man Festival’. The bus driver stops in the middle of the desert night after running down a terrified Tara Reid and leaves the people to fend for themselves. She has left them for a group of Marauders/Satanists/Mad Max extras? Take your pick folks. Anyway this group of bloodlust freaks keep chanting “Release the Chosen One” as they attack the party goers and try to murder and eat them. The party goers figure out the virgin among them and force her to have sex with someone to stop the bloodlust freaks belief from coming true. This film has a good set up but just never seems to hit all the right notes and seems disjointed as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Seventh Moon (DVD) – Amy Smart and her man have gone to China for their honeymoon and to meet his parents. But according to Chinese myth the full moon on the seventh lunar month some weird shit goes down in the countryside where old myths die hard. Well the couples are lost in the countryside thanks to their driver who abandons them. Apparently we come to find out later in the film that this dude believes in the myth of the pale demons coming to murder and he needed a sacrifice and they were it. The couple must face of with the pale demons and survive the night. Sounds like a good concept but I have seen some better foreign horror films and this just had long boring lulls throughout that makes it tough to sit through. Want weird? Look for a film called “The Johnsons” as I give this film 1 star.

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details and for upcoming guests.