Gross Movie Reviews #565

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Gross Movie Reviews #565

Amityville: The Final Chapter (DVD) – Just like ‘Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter’ this franchise lied to us big time and try to hide it by marketing this film under a different title ‘Sickle’. Over the years the title has been changed back and forth but it is entry #36 so what were you expecting? Anyway kids, this story has a 27 year old known as “The Babysitter Killer” getting released from prison after 15 years. Michael a kid at the time claimed he was visited by a creature in a top hat that made him kill his babysitter when he was 12. Now adult, some ghost hunters cross paths with the newly released man and believe it is a great idea to take Michael back to the house where it all happened? Of course this causes the demonic force known as “Sickle” to reappear and ruin everyone’s day or night… its fucking ghost hunting does it matter at this point? This hot piece of garbage is high on the Amityville list of almost unwatchable as I give this entry 0 stars enjoy kids.

The Monster of Piedras Blancas (DVD) – Say that title five times fast, anyway before I review this: quick question: is the lighthouse location in this 1959 film the same as the one in “John Carpenter’s The Fog”? Back to your regularly scheduled review, two brothers are found dead near the lighthouse after going night fishing the night before. The deaths look suspicious and of course there is a small town legend of a monster that has lived along the rocks of the ocean. The old man who lives next to the lighthouse knows the truth and has fed the monster meat scraps from the town market for some time now. But the monster hungers more as it enjoys ripping human heads off and sucking the blood out of their neck. Can the monster be stopped? Is there more than one in the caves off this coastal town? A fun drive-in flick that I am surprised I never got the chance to see on Chilly Billy or something when growing up as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Alligator (Blu-ray) – You all have seen or heard of this movie by now where a baby alligator is thrown the toilet and years later its living in the sewers feeding on dead animals and such. Now it’s up to Robert Forster to get people to believe him a giant alligator is gonna eat everybody in the city. The 1980 film is cheesy fun but now finally has gotten the special Blu-ray treatment it has deserved for a long time. We get a new 4K scan of the original negative for not only the theatrical but the TV version of the movie and it looks just amazing as when the alligator coming up through the sidewalk looks hilariously cheesy. I mean honestly for years most of the film was grainy and hid the glorious scene well. We get tons of interviews, commentaries, lots of fun stuff in this 3-disc version you never knew you needed until it existed as I give it 4 stars.

Alligator II: The Mutation (Blu-ray) – Almost a decade later we get a fun cheeseball sequel with no Robert Forster but an all-star cast that makes this sequel much more interesting than it ever should have been? This time around a baby alligator is fed a steady diet of hormones and other chemicals from the Future Chemicals Corporation and we get another giant alligator that is going to attack a city festival where Steve Railsback plays an asshole trying to buy up everyone’s property. Richard Lynch and Kane Hodder steal the show as “gator hunters”. This sequel is dislike by some horror fans, for me it has always a weird fun appeal to me and makes all the right sense in the world to pick this new version up as it also has some fun interviews that make the film worth the watch all over again as I give it 3 ½ stars. Which by the way did you know this film was made for TV not the theater or direct-to-video, weird stuff?

Aquaslash (DVD) – A Canadian horror/comedy where some high school graduates are partying at a waterpark for the weekend. Of course most of the movie has a lot of graduates making out and getting told a story of a killer who murdered a bunch of people at the park in the 80s. The movie for its short running time takes a while to set up things but there is a huge gory payoff as a mysterious killer rigs up something in one of the water slides! The horror movie isn’t horrible but feels like there isn’t much rewatchablity to it as I give this horror feature 2 stars.

The Mask (Blu-ray) – A wild 1961 film has Dr. Allan Barnes trying to help a patient named Michael from going completely insane. Up until recently Michael was well respected and working at the local museum but has become consumed with a tribal/ritual mask of sorts that has Michael believing he is now cursed. After Michael’s last appointment he rushes out of the office to go home to commit suicide but before he does he mails the mask to the good doctor challenging him to see the nightmares. Dr. Barnes curious about the mask puts it for research in what driven a person to the brink and becomes consumed with the death and weird ritual things that happen when putting the mask on. Barnes quickly becomes obsessed with the mask and even convinces his mentor to help him with the experiment of learning what makes this mask unique? A fun bizarre version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde that can be seen in 2-D and 3-D with “Electro-magic sound” in this new restored version. The package also includes a short documentary and other short films that make this a must have for old school film fans as I give it 3 stars.

Killer Party (Blu-ray) – Now that we have fought through the Warner Brother DVD-R Archive crap that went on with this 80s slasher film we meaning a small but crazy fan base get a special edition version of ‘Killer Party’. A horror film from 1986 that is considered second tier slasher to some horror fans but one of my favorites growing up is all about three girls just trying to pledge to a sorority that is interrupted by a demonic presence. This pure 80s horror flick has a lot of fun new interviews that makes us physical media nerds jump for joy to have as I give it 3 stars.

Special Effects (VHS) – After Andrea and her husband Keefe have a fight about going back to Oklahoma, Andrea runs out on her man. Backstory, Andrea left him after having her baby and decided to chase a career in acting, modeling, etc., in New York City. While on the run and picking up a newspaper she finds herself on the doorstep of a famous filmmaker named Neville. Neville has just bombed out of Hollywood and lets in Andrea on whim. One thing leads to another and Neville is murdering her on his bed while filming it. Chris Neville cleans it all up and dumps the body so the husband is blamed. The husband breaks out police custody to visit Neville and this inspires the filmmaker to make a low budget film about realtime murder he committed! Neville gets so involved with the project he bails out the husband, makes the one police officer a technical adviser, and believes this is his way back to Hollywood as everything has to look a certain way as Neville relives the fantasy murder. For me this was a very bizarre Larry Cohen film to watch but glad as hell I did as I give it 3 stars.

Thriller: A Cruel Picture (Blu-ray) – The 1973 film is also widely known as “They Call Her One Eye” and has been inspiration for many filmmakers the past few decades but can’t be duplicated. A woman (Christina Lindberg) who is raped as a young girl is now grown but mute and goes into town quite often for doctor’s appointments. Innocent and naïve she gets in a car when she misses a bus into town and wakes up beaten up, hooked on heroin, and told she will now be a hooker! Not happy with this she takes it out on her first customer and in return she loses an eye and weirdly enough apparently it costs more money to bang a one eyed hooker. Soon she saves her money learns how to race a car, shoot guns, and fight. And that is when this movie just gets downright brutal as hell as she begins gut shooting customers left and right in slow motion with a double barrel shotgun. The movie is absolutely amazing, fucked up, brutal, and not for all movie lovers at the same time. I can see why this film has such rabid fan base especially when your female lead doesn’t say a damn word through the whole film! Thanks to Synapse Films this brutal film or package is going to make physical media fans drool like crazy as they have included an uncut and uncensored HD version with several subtitle and soundtrack options, rare photos and outtakes, alternate fight scene, and rare photos of a fight scene that was ruined by a film lab. If you only have seen the ‘They Call Her One Eye’ version you better be prepared for some of the graphic material in this restored film as his will not be for all audiences. Hell the movie was never made for all audiences but I am sure this package will make a lot of “Best of” lists at the end of the year as I give this 4 out of 4 stars. www.synapse-films.com

The Dungeonmaster (DVD) – Its 1984 and Paul is the IT guy who knows how to fix all computer problems as he is hooked up to his computer “CAL”. One night after a fight with his girlfriend Gwen, Paul and Gwen get sucked into purgatory or hell for Paul to conquer seven challenges in fantasy land in order for the couple to live and go back home. David Allen, John Carl Buechler, Charles Band, and Richard Moll as Satan, evil wizard, whatever you wanna call him… I will always be in to watch this crazy mess! Another fun Empire Pictures project that is just fun to pop in every five years or so and makes a little sense if double feature it with ‘Metalstorm’ that I give 3 stars.

They See You (Blu-ray) – Our story begins with three teenage boys heading into town to check out a unique/oddities shop. There is a spirit board with what looks like Halloween symbols on it that catches their attention but they are told that it isn’t for sale. Mainly the spirit board is not for sale because it’s cursed but this only intrigue the boys as with help from a couple girls they know from school they steal it along with an old book. They all head out the woods to have some fun with it, they all touch the spirit board, say some words from the old book, and it activates. Unleashing a gang of demons, undead creatures on Halloween that just don’t want to consume them but take control of the spirit board and book to stay in this world. Think of a slick independent gory film with a ‘Witchboard’ and ‘Beyond the Gates’ vibe to it. The movie has its flaws but overall Tory Jones and Jonestown Films put together a solid horror film well worth a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Robo C.H.I.C. (VHS) – First let’s get the alternate titles out of the way: aka Cyber-C.H.I.C. aka Robochic aka Thunder Tronic starring Burt Ward! Anyhow, a wacky doctor puts together a crime fighting fembot (remember kids its 1990). Along the way when the fembot isn’t training we have a mad bomber who is trying to keep the city hostage as he plants bombs everywhere. It is up to the futuristic fembot to find the people who kidnap the mad bomber and stop the bombs from going off in this supposedly intentionally funny film but fails. This movie is a part of a sub-genre that seem to show on “Up All Night” with Rhonda Shear between 1987-1992 or what you could call: The Killer Tomato sequel years? Anyhow give this terrible garbage 0 stars.

Kill-Cam (Blu-ray) – Chris Woods and The Sleaze Box crew reach deep into the sleaze void to pull out a story of Samantha Styles. Ms. Styles (Katie Mckinley) is obsessed with a model Pamela Keaton that makes her drool and want to meet her but Samantha also just happens to be a sex-crazed serial killer with a super shitty past! This slow burn into the dark void of Samantha has her getting advice from a doll, stalking her ex hookup, enjoying her murderous desires until see can come up with a way to meet her obsession. Folks you are in for a rough one here as this is not for the faint of heart but I believe this will find an audience craving more with Katie McKinley’s performance as a sick and horny serial killer. As I say with projects like this: “this isn’t my cup of tea” but I can easily see this project being talked about among independent film fans for the next several years because of its content as I give the film 2 ½ stars just for Katie Mckinley performance standing out in this feature.

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Gross Movie Reviews #501

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Gross Movie Reviews #501

 

We Die Young (DVD) – A story about a young drug runner for the MS-13 gang named Lucas in Washington D.C. He tries to watch out for his younger brother and has made friends with an ex-military vet Daniel (Jean-Claude Van Damme) who he delivers to on a regular basis. Both humans are just trying to do the right thing for others. When Lucas gets set up during a run he and his brother are on the run from the MS-13 because they must die for their betrayal. They jump into Daniel’s car and from there it’s stop and you will die. Not your typical JCVD action flick but the film has a lot of heart and an interesting storyline that made the film well worth checking out as I give it 3 stars.

 

Good Against Evil (YouTube) – Richard Lynch as a man into Satanism named Mr. Rimmin and a young Kim Cattrall showing up, yes I’m in! A baby is born and stolen by a nun to be taken to Mr. Rimmin and he explains to his legion that the child must be protected at all costs. 22 years later in San Francisco we meet Jessica Gordon who designs clothes. Her new car gets dinged up by a gentleman named Andy Stewart who tries to get Jessica to go to dinner with him but no luck. Andy persists until Jessica is down for it and eventually they become a couple but strange things like people dying keep happening. These folks that are dying are followers of Mr. Rimmin trying to protect Jessica and try to break up the lovers constantly. I enjoyed the movie but just not enough scenes of Lynch being an evil bad ass as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Ghost Riders (YouTube/VHS) – Here is a random 1987 I never knew about that I was super excited to watch and… then I did. Anyhow Frank Clements is hung by a vengeful priest in the old west. A hundred years later a Professor Sutton discovers Clements is back from the dead the hard way. Luckily for the Professor his random friends and son are coming for a visit and shoot the ghosts. But hey folks they soon find out they been shooting down the same ghosts over and over and must come up with a new plan to save all their asses! That is when they get back to the Sutton cabin and find out their grandpa was the priest that hung Clements. Yep a boring revenge flick that should have been so much better but turns out to be a snoozer as I give it 1 star.

 

Survivor (VHS) – It has been ten years since the war and a man/astronaut travels by a solar-powered train car looking for a so-called paradise. There is a story about an underground paradise that is ruled by a man named Kragg (Richard Moll) and scientists. Once there it isn’t what it is cracked up to be so the space man is challenged by Kragg. Kragg is amazed to find out the space man is the one who put the satellite into space that caused the war and gives a good long speech about the ‘New World’. Not one of the best post-apocalyptic flicks out there but an interesting take with the whole underground city and such plus Richard Moll as I give it 2 stars.

 

Strike Commando 2 (YouTube/VHS) – Our man Vincent Dawn aka Bruno Mattei goes ripping off several 80s action flicks of where a vet Michael Ransom is sent in by the CIA to go looking for his old commander Jenkins. There is a whole double fake of Jenkins being hidden by the CIA but is actually double crossing the CIA and working for the enemy and has Ransom bringing diamonds for the payoff. Once Ransom understands what is going down, Ransom and his new blonde friend make a plan in the jungle to screw them all. Oh yeah in case you needed to know Jenkins was working for the KGB… damn it I gave it away. It’s fun B-movie follies for all to enjoy as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Lone Runner (YouTube/VHS) – A mid-80s flick from Ruggero Deodato about a superhero in the desert known as Garrett or Lone Runner. Once ten years ago he saved a little girl and some folks from some bandits. Now ten years later he is back to save her again as her father is being blackmailed for some mysterious diamonds that many people didn’t believe existed. We get some cool horse riding stunts and see Garrett take on a whole army of bandits. It isn’t the best of Deodato’s work but I love finding this stuff and thank the lord Rutger Hauer this filmmaker exists as I give it 2 stars.

 

Firewalker (DVD) – A hilarious action/comedy in the spirit of Indiana Jones in ways starring Chuck Norris, Louis Gossett Jr., Sonny Landham, John Rhys-Davies, and Melody Anderson! Max and Leo are hired by Melody’s character for a treasure hunt, yeah they are not real successful in the past but this time is different. It is an interesting movie for the mere reason it takes Chuck Norris out of his comfort zone but the chemistry he had with Louis Gossett Jr. is great as I give this film 2 ½ stars.

 

Road Hell (DVD) – This relative low budget flick centers around a high-strung couple who have to stop at a seedy motel because they need sleep and to POOP! This intro of the creepy motel is for an anthology that has a vampire orgy, a kid wanting to take on an unknown creature in the woods that ate his dog, and profiling a zombie exterminator. The couple wrap around doesn’t have much to do with anything other than asking for a new room in between segments. When picking anthologies this might be the choice yinz all will wanna pass on as I almost feel asleep twice trying to make it through it. For that I give it 0 stars.

 

The Final Terror (DVD) – This slasher film has alluded me long enough as I knew it existed but not as ‘Campsite Massacre’ also. This star studded affair (Mark Metcalf, Lewis Smith, Adrian Zmed, and Darryl Hannah) is about a group of inexperienced rangers heading up north to Old Mill Creek for work and some partying. Old Edgar warns them about getting hurt and going somewhere else but this is the early 80s they don’t listen. After a joke that night goes a little too far when one of them don’t come back looking for someone’s weed crop they search for him all day with no luck. But now this thing stalking the woods is now hunting the rangers as they must make their way down river as they are tired and injured. With the cast I hoped for another ‘The Burning’ but got a less eventful slasher film instead and I give it 2 stars.

 

Jurassic Galaxy (DVD) – What feels like an Asylum film or a SyFy Channel flick is not as a spaceship crash lands and falls to pieces on a planet ruled by dinosaurs. The survivors if they can survive each other must make their trek across the treacherous planet to find the escape shuttle to get a SOS out in space. It wasn’t as terrible as I thought it was going to be still surprised neither of those factions had anything to do this with this terrible idea as I give it 2 stars.

 

Nazi Undead (DVD) – Brad and Ash are off to a castle in the middle of nowhere Germany when the car stalls out and a woman runs to the car to smack it and then die. So eventually the two get out finding help, but instead finding an old house with a paranormal creepy old German guy and backstory that replays a couple times during this dumb ass fucking movie! Candidate for worst movie I have watched in 2020 as I give it 0 stars.

The Terror of Hallow’s Eve (DVD) – Another film claiming to be based on true events that takes place on October 30, 1981 where a young teenager Timmy is very talented and likes to play pranks on the neighbors. He gets in trouble with his mother and promises not to do any pranks on Halloween so he investigates the attic and finds “The Book of Halloween” and reads about the ‘Trickster’. Timmy after getting the shit kicked out of him by three high school assholes he turns to the Trickster to help him scare them to death. Of course the trickster takes it literally and eventually with the help of Timmy’s imagination kills them all. Thus sending him to an asylum where the end of the film explains more about his story at present day. It is a solid Halloween horror film but wasn’t a big fan of the ending as it felt like padding or filler to stretch the film out. I liked the storyline, the cool under the radar Hollywood stars in it, but the ending for me was not needed but didn’t spoil the end product as I give the film 3 stars.

Corona Zombies (On Demand) – This latest Full Moon feature takes place in the Bodega Bay Trailer Park where Barbie has just learned about the Corona virus from her bestie Kendra over the phone. She turns on the news to learn the virus is getting out of control and now there might be ‘Corona Zombies’ as the virus is turning certain ones into zombies. But the real problem is Barbie doesn’t have toilet paper and she is like so bored. Barbie goes into panic mood as she watches the news showing live footage or I should say overdubbed footage of two other zombie movies throughout the newscast. Kendra tries to help Barbie through the phone to keep her calm but nothing says calm like finding an eight pack of TP! To be honest I have been critical of Charles Band and company which sucks because I love Full Moon and I believe we all were not expecting much from this project… But this project is fucking hilarious and makes me wanna go back and rewatch ‘Hell of the Living Dead’. This film will not be for everyone but for everything that is going on right now Charles Band might have a diamond in the rough with this project that shows maybe all humans need to calm down and watch something not so serious? But also thank you Charles Band for this project not being an infomercial for ‘Evil Bong’ and the latest crap on Full Moon Streaming as I give this 3 stars.

 

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Gross Movie Reviews #408

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Gross Movie Reviews #408

 

Madman (Blu-ray) – An amazing restoration of a cult-slasher film from the early 80s that includes: interviews, commentary, and other fun tidbits that you may have never known about the flick. A group of people are out in the woods telling stories of a legend called “Madman Mars”. The group scares each other as they near the old house that supposedly Madman Mars went nuts and killed his family. One of the younger persons of the group screams for the legend to come and get them after being warned to not. They pack up and head back to the cabin as it’s the end of the season and they will be going back to the city in the morning. But Madman Mars heard the kid and now is on the prowl to track down the group and slaughter the poor folks. Wonderful kill scenes, a good amount of blood and guts, and a disgusting looking yet cool killer (Madman) makes this slasher a must have and makes you question why there isn’t several sequels? This low budget feature follows the ‘Friday the 13th’ formula and now you know where the people behind ‘Slaughterhouse’ got the idea for their killer and poster art? A must own for horror movie collectors as I give it 3 stars.

 

Nightmare in a Damaged Brain (DVD) – A horror film that may or may not have had Tom Savini doing the effects for this gorefest of a slasher film? This has been always debated over and from what information I could track down on Savini he didn’t have anything to do with the project that is best known for a woman being decapitated by a kid. There is a guy who is a schizophrenic and has been tested on with a new drug. He believes he is cured and goes out on the town only to find himself losing his mind and begins to kill again while his doctors have lost track of him. He eventually makes his way back home but first he has several flashbacks of his murderous childhood and has several new victims. The film is on the sleazy side but also is uneven and can be dull at times. I give this odd sleazy flick 2 stars.

The Guardians (DVD) – A Russian version of ‘The Avengers’ that features a man that turns into a bear, has a machine gun and a woman on his back killing evil persons while running through Moscow! Yep, I am sold and do not need to say anymore but I will. After the Russians entered the war in 1940 scientists were doing secret genetic research. After several failed experiments over the years a scientist goes rogue and starts to use people to further his experiments. When the military tries to intervene the scientist gets caught in a chemical explosion and becomes a part of his own experiment only to disappear until now. During a high tech military exercise this monster reappears and takes control of all machines killing all involved and disappears. So the Russian military forms a team of superheroes Nick Fury style: Ler – a man who can move rocks and things and uses them as weapons or a suit. Khan – a guy who has swords and can move like the wind. Kseniya – who is able to regulate her body temperature? And my favorite because he looks like a character from the Sega game “Altered Beast” Arsus (I believe that is how it’s spelled) – is a man who turns into a thing with a bear head and when he is really pissed off turns into a giant grizzly bear! They must take down the former scientist Kuratov now evil monster mastermind who also made them into what they are. Kuratov wants to take over Moscow then the world and make more troops like him. His goal in accomplishing this is using an old Reagan satellite in space left over from the “Star Wars program”. First time around The Guardians is defeated quickly but they reset things and prepare differently to become a team and defeat this evil Kuratov before it’s too late. The movie is a brilliant comic book-style popcorn flick that fits right in with the Marvel and DC universes! I absolutely loved this exciting flick as I give it 4 stars. Come one for the love of Rutger Hauer you have a bear with a machine gun you know this is gonna make my “Best movies of 2017 list”.

 

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (DVD) – So I have jumped head first into this weird world of David Lynch and cult TV show and movie. This movie for the most part is the story about the homecoming queen Laura Palmer before her murder. Almost two hours of drug use, weird shit going on, sex, two FBI agents disappearing, and eventually violence. Don’t understand it but do give it credit for being weird and interesting as I give 2 ½ stars.

 

Space Rage (YouTube/VHS) – A young pony tail wearing Michael Pare is Grange where in a futuristic society he gets caught by authorities after a bank robbery. He is banished to a penial colony on another planet where the only escape is a supply ship that lands once in a great while. So of course once Grange arrives he begins kicking ass in prison and plans his escape. Once escaped and on the run there is an old dude trying to track Grange and the inmates down before Grange blows up the landing site and killing everyone on the incoming shuttle. Lots of cool car stunts and Pare shooting everyone on screen are the highlights of this unknown sci-fi/action gem as I give it 3 stars.

 

Starslammer: The Escape (YouTube/VHS) – Oh folks this is a lovely Fred Olen Ray mid-80s treat that is a B-movie combo of ‘The Ice Pirates’ and ‘Reform School Girls’ on a prison ship. Actually the film was titled “Prison Ship” in some countries and also includes a John Carradine cameo. The girls/prisoners have had enough of abuse on the ship and now are about to become part of some unwanted experiments. So with help from the underground they have a plan to escape. Fred Olen Ray madness is always good for 2 ½ stars.

Vice Squad (YouTube/VHS) – The movie represents a fictional account of what Hollywood police have to put up with in 1982 as prostitution was rampant. We are quickly introduced to Wings Hauser’s character Ramrod and his awesome Ford Bronco that now makes my “list of great movie vehicles”. Ramrod tracks down Nina Blackwood from MTV as she owes Ramrod money and believes her pimp loves her. Ramrod kills her but doesn’t know she contacted her best friend Princess and told her all about Ramrod. After some coaxing by local authorities Princess brings down Ramrod. But once in custody he breaks out of a moving police car and plans on finding and paying Princess a visit. A slightly sleazy Wings Hauser and Hollywood Blvd along with prostitution as the backdrop makes a wonderful early 80s flick worth the rewatch as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Harbinger Down (DVD) – A film written and directed by Alec Gillis with very cool practical creature effects starring Lance Henriksen as a captain of crab fishing boat out in the Bering Sea. He picks up some whale researchers that include his daughter that are there to measure climate change. One night the crab guys pick up something unusual after it was spotted by the researchers. Encased in ice they debate over whose find it is? But after some melting they notice the ball of ice is old wreckage with a pilot inside. But it’s too late something has escaped onto the boat and trying to take over all humans. Trying to figure out if its alien or not they figure out it was a decade’s old experiment that the Russians may have let the ship find it and see how the creature reacts? Plain old fashion creature feature with lots of cool creations and the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen taking charge trying to bring this ever changing thing down! A very solid and entertaining sci-fi/horror flick with more than enough cool creatures that deserves 3 stars.

 

FDR: American Bad Ass (DVD) – This film is an accurate portrayal of FDR played by Barry Bostwick our wheelchair bound president who led the US against the Nazis! In the early 30s FDR is bitten by a werewolf that gives him polio. FDR loses use of his legs but doesn’t let that get in the way of him going from governor to President of the United States. The film follows him from the campaign trail to where FDR gears up and fights Nazi werewolves in order to keep them off of US soil! To just explain it does not do the film justice as also the great cast makes this hilarious flick work. The great cast consists: Ray Wise, Barry Bostwick, Robin Sydney (Full Moon fanatics know her well), Kevin Sorbo as Lincoln, Lin Shaye, and Paul Ben-Victor as Werewolf Hitler. So you need to refresh your history this is the first place to start with this masterpiece of accurate history as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Monolith (DVD) – Bill Paxton and Lindsay Frost are two detectives that accidentally get involved with a highly secretive government project that consists of an alien force/parasite that has awakened. This parasite is able to jump from human body to another trying to get to its ship to leave. The government or John Hurt is willing to risk the world as this has been his life to find answers from this force. Throw in a little bit of Louis Gossett Jr. and you have a fine sci-fi feature that was mostly overlooked in the early 90s as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Void (DVD) – An extremely vague but interesting horror film that has some of the best movie creatures since ‘The Thing’? A man is picked up along a dark road and brought into a closing hospital by a small town police officer. Things only get stranger when the man does not wanna quit babbling and the police officer is attacked by a person in a white sheet outside. Once the doctor and nurses stop the bleeding on the officer more of these people in white sheets show up. Meanwhile another nurse goes nuts, rips her face off and stabs a patient in his eye killing him and that’s when it gets even weirder??? Two guys show up bitching about a massacre, a huge disgusting creature steals the state trooper and begins feeding on him, and apparently the good doctor of the hospital is the next Pinhead!? Fun and gruesomely entertaining film! My only drawback with the film is you must pay attention to pick up on some of the happenings because I would have liked a little more explanation. But this film is easily the new horror generation’s ‘Hellraiser’? I give this amazing creature filled film 3 ½ stars and most likely be somewhere on my “Best of 2017 movie list”.

 

The Shallows (DVD) – Blake Lively is a young woman who is at a crossroads in her life and just wants to visit a place her mother told her about. So she surfs and loses herself until the last surf out she finds a large dead whale and the huge ass shark that happens to be hanging out there. Injured and panicking she must act fast to survive and gets on a rock during low tide. Trapped she must survive the night and figure things out as the shark circles. The next day after a few attempts people are killed by the shark trying to save her so she either dies on the rock or figures out how to escape? The film has that fun ‘Jaws’ feel, the film is shot really well, and Blake Lively puts on a great performance. Add this flick to your list of great shark films to watch every summer as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Dead 7 (DVD) – Asylum Entertainment does it again as they do their own ‘Magnificent Seven’ but with zombies. The apocalypse has happened and zombies or in this case “copperheads” have taken over. Years have passed and now some people like the simpler way of living (Old west) and some like Apocalypta gather an army of undead to overrun the small thriving towns to take their supplies. A small town deputy goes on the search for several individuals to be crazy enough to go up the mountain and kill Apocalypta and her army of undead. Its cheesy and somewhat watchable but remember I have watched much worse as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Nightforce (DVD) – Rich kids don’t have much to do until their friend Christy is kidnapped by drug dealing terrorists from Central America. All because Christy’s father Senator Hanson has declared war on the drug dealing terrorists. So they want a ransom and want him to back down from his new policy. Linda Blair and friends gather weapons and make their way to Central America where they meet up with a war vet (Richard Lynch) and his pet monkey to take down the man and his troops who kidnapped their friend. Hilarious and over the top violence rules in this movie as Linda Blair is fucking people up in order to help her friend escape. If you pay attention closely you also get to see the great actress Kathleen Kinmont in a bar scene. I give 3 stars just because I miss this type of entertaining films where random 80s movies were just made never questioned…

 

Outlaw Force (VHS) – So Billy Ray is a stunt show cowboy who also sings. But when his wife is killed and daughter is kidnapped by some punks rolling through town he becomes an outlaw! Paul Smith and Frank Stallone are two officers of the law trying to track down Billy Ray’s daughter but when they are not getting the job done Billy Ray takes the law into his own hands. One by one he shoots, stabs, and hangs his way through the punks. And when he isn’t doing that he is singing his song “This Honkey is gonna Honkeytonk Tonight”. Another random fun B-movie from 1989 that is most likely get lost when a new movie format comes out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

On a new episode we tackle films from New Zealand and another film that gets your dick shot off!

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As the year came to an end Kyle, after seeing ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: The Story Of Cannon Films decided to sit down and take in what become an action movie that could have only been made in the 80’s.  And that grand piece of film is INVASION U.S.A.  Also Tim uncovers one of the best new movies of the year in HOUSEBOUND.  It’s like if Peter Jackson decided to take a humorous look at the people under the stairs.  And as always we answer your questions and get down to all the usual bullshit.  So download this episode or Richard Lynch will shoot your dick off!

 

http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

episode 145