Gross Movie Reviews #532

0

Gross Movie Reviews #532

 

Allan Ouartermain and The Lost City of Gold (DVD/YouTube) – Richard Chamberlin is back as Quartermain and Sharon Stone as Jesse and they are talking marriage until someone comes out of the jungle talking about Quartermain’s brother and The Lost City of Gold and might be dead. So of course Quartermain goes looking for him and Jesse is not happy delaying the wedding and having another near death experience. Allan find his brother and The Lost City of Gold rather quickly but they find out that the people who live there are under control of a demanding slave trader (Henry Silva and Cassandra Peterson) who claim to be a god but really just stealing the gold. A fun follow up from 1987 that is worth checking out if you enjoyed the first film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Bunker: Project 12 (DVD) – During the Cold War Russian scientists were working on a secret project that involved super soldiers but was after funding was cut in 1973 the scientists disappeared. Henderson (Eric Roberts) who is one of the most renowned scientists pays some mercenaries to track down these lost scientists so they can access this hidden bunker and gather information of this project. Once there documents are found going step by step on the old project but there is also something waiting for them. Since this story has been done to death recently the writer throws in a storyline with one of the mercs turning on the team to gain more money. Love seeing Eric Roberts but this lackluster feature highly lacked some of the films with similar storylines in the past. In the end wished they would have at least tried to do something different but they went with what works but just not in this project as I give 1 star.

 

Mystery of the Wax Museum (DVD/YouTube) – Stop me if you heard this one before? After a fire in a London wax museum to collect insurance money a new one pops up in New York. Not too long after its opening bodies begin to go missing from the city morgue and show up at the life like museum people are raving about. This 1933 feature sounds a lot like ‘House of Wax’ with Vincent Price but with a few differences. ‘House of Wax’ is always wonderful but you can now see where it got its influence as this was a fun find for me as I never seen this flick until now. This is some fun stuff to check out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Cheerleader Camp to the Death (DVD) – A Dustin Ferguson joint for no money where cheerleaders from different schools head out to camp for three days to work, relax, and unplug. So who cares cheerleaders died the year before at Horizon Fields Camp in a weird sprinkler accident, they are there to have fun and work on the newest routines. Of course once coach goes missing the girls refuse to see there is a problem until it’s too late as they are being killed off by a person dressed as a panda. Not covering new territory but there is a wonderfully hilarious scene around the campfire where one of the cheerleaders tells a story about a 12 inch cock! “Because, it is like an urban legend or… something!” This Indy flick as a couple laughs but not enough gore for me but its short running time does make it a quick out as I give it 2 stars.

Corporate Cutthroat Massacre (DVD) – This unknown 2009 feature has Brandi Babcock as the boss of an office that she is claiming getting pressure from up top for her staff to work harder as the numbers are down. So after firing a person or two explains all must stay after hours to get all their sales together from the past three quarters. If they do not or whoever has the lowest they will be fired also. Brandi needs to fix it fast as “Corporate” is losing money! As the night moves along people who work in the office begin to disappear as you wonder are they fired or has Brandi finally pushed someone to kill? No matter what none of them are good enough in Brandi’s eyes as I give this half step above dullness 1 ½ stars.

 

Promising Young Woman (On Demand) – Cassie is a young woman whose life hasn’t gone exactly the way she dreamed of. Now 30, working at a coffee shop, and still living at home with the parents Cassie hasn’t wanted to tackle life goals as with her complicated past she just goes to bars and gets revenge on guys by letting them think she is drunk and fucks with them. Then one day happiness shows up for her but when she is about to believe her life has taken a great turn her complicated past comes back to haunt her in a horrible way. The only way to deal with it is the only way Cassie knows how haunt it and the people who were a part of it back! A fun revenge film I give 3 stars too.

 

The Shadow of the Cat (DVD/YouTube) – Another old school flick I never had the pleasure of viewing as a child an old woman named Ella is killed off by three greedy people close to her and the cat witnessed it. Now as the three murderers try to cover up the cat is haunting them as much as it can. Thus making it difficult to get away with when Ella’s favorite niece Beth shows up and the cat likes her. Authorities get involved but keep being side tracked by the family so they all can split up the fortune and find Ella’s real will to burn it. A fun PG rated early 60s horror film that we get another of someone explaining cats stealing people’s breath… TOLD YOU ITS REAL as I give the flick 2 stars.         

Massacre (DVD) – Another late 80s film with the title ‘Massacre’ that was also known in some countries as ‘The Border of Tong’ starring David Heavener. Heavener is Detective Walker who is investigating some horrible murders in Chinatown. While he has no leads a gang known as The Tong is looking for a missing black book that has names and numbers that could ruin things for them in the long run. But the hard-nose detective refuses to let borders get in the way of a good investigation has he tracks down a suspect into Canada. I would love to say this crime thriller gets good but stays consistently dull throughout with a little spice in the middle where the suspect falls in love with a runaway sex slave. They get a room in Calgary and try to live a normal life until The Tong and Walker come a knocking. Don’t worry in the end it all works out as the good guy catches all the bad guys as I give it 1 star for David Heavener’s first film.

 

Street Hunter (DVD/YouTube) – This is one of those crazy B-action flicks that went straight-to-video that stars a host of people that makes you ask in wonder, “They are in this?” Steve James is Logan Blade, a lone wolf bounty hunter who was wronged as an officer of the law. Logan just happens to witness a big time drug dealer (John Leguizamo) have a mercenary (Reb Brown) on the payroll who has trained the dealer’s cronies into an army that is ready to take over the streets for the Columbians. The only person that can stop them is Logan and now they have his girl and they killed an old friend on the force. Get ready for a huge squibfest in this slightly fun action flick as I give it 2 stars.

 

Raiders of the Golden Triangle (DVD/YouTube) – Two rival gangs fight over opium in the mountains of Asia that is called “The Golden Triangle”. A Hong Kong officer goes undercover and is able to become a member of one these gangs so he can stop the big drug operation. The film is self-explanatory but felt like I would have enjoyed this much more if I actually got high or had drank a ton of alcohol as I give it 1 star.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #450

0

Gross Movie Reviews #450

 

Mr. Cleaver (DVD) – A throwback S.O.V. flick where some punks break into an empty warehouse to party their brains. Things are going great: people are trippy, bumping uglies, and just being drunk until a bad dude with a giant meat cleaver shows up to ruin the party. Crystal, Lump, and friends get real scared when they find Mr. Cleaver’s personal pile of body parts. The punks fight back but run into trouble when they find out the evil dude cannot be killed because the warehouse is his own personal hell for eternity. Some blood, some nostalgia as these flicks will always hit the soft spot in my heart as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more details or to purchase the film, go check out www.togethermagicfilmgroup.com .

 

Ghost Stories (DVD) – A British film that could be considered anthology but really doesn’t feel like it. But that can be up for a debate between you and your friends after watching it. Professor Goodman is a man that makes a living at trying to debunk the supernatural or just trying to prove psychics are just good cheats. Professor Goodman is contacted by an old man. This old man isn’t just any person but someone when Goodman was young he caught on T.V. debunking the supernatural. Goodman goes to the man’s trailer because this was his idol; here is his chance to talk to him. But the old man had his reasons for calling Goodman to him. The old man hands off three cases that the old man claims were real. They couldn’t be explained logically and wants Goodman to either prove him wrong or to tell him that the supernatural does exist? But pay close attention folks because every scene has a point and the payoff is how the film ends. I give the fun film full of hauntings 3 stars.

 

Strike Commando (VHS) – Found another classic from Vincent Dawn aka Bruno Mattei where this 1987 film stars Reb Brown as Sgt. Michael Ransom as this is Mr. Dawn’s version of “Rambo II” if it was made in the Philippines. The film has a few titles but another popular used title was “Cobra Force”. Yes there is a sequel but no Reb Brown. Anyway Ransom is double crossed when he is in North Vietnam trying to help out a group of people out of the war zone. But when the Russians show up things get serious like some awesome slow motion fire-bombing of Sgt. Ransom. Now with Ransom captured behind enemy lines and no one to save him the Russians try to turn him against his own. Ransom won’t have any of it, escapes, kills most of everyone, the guy that double crossed him went to Manila. So we get this added on scene with Ransom and bootleg Col. Troutman in Manila and a large machine gun! 2 ½ stars people for this awesome badness!

 

For the Love of Spock (DVD) – A wonderful documentary about Leonard Nimoy by his son Adam who documents the impact the famous “Star Trek” character had on pop culture and people over the years. Leonard was a struggling actor in Hollywood who like most worked odd jobs and almost quit completely until he landed the role of Spock. At first wasn’t totally known where this character would go or do in the series but Leonard found his calling and loved every second of it. His image was everywhere and still till this day is reference on a regular on TV shows. The person and the character were someone that was loved and appreciated by almost all. His son even documents the hard times as a kid growing up with your dad being Spock. Great stuff as I give it 4 stars.

 

Power of Grayskull: The Definitive History of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (DVD) – This might be a very nerdy documentary but I lived it. This documentary covers everything He-man related. It all starts with how they basically produced the He-man toy line out of thin air after losing out on the “Star Wars” toys. No real back story they came up with a good guy and a bad guy and went from there. With no TV show or movie these action figures sold like crazy to the point Mattel couldn’t keep up with demand and were making up characters as they went. At the height of its popularity it was 95% of the toy business in some form. The cartoon that was soon developed was also in such high demand they came up with “She-ra” which proved to be just as popular. He-man was the thing from 1982-1987 and believe me I lived it as I remember trying to write letters to Mattel to try and get free action figures. Once the Dolph Lundgren film was released that seem to sign the end for the toy line. There were a couple restarts over the years but no luck until recently with nerds taking over the Earth He-man has found new life. If you are about the same age as me you will remember He-man mania as the film documents everything… I give it 4 stars.

City Limits (DVD) – Okay folks, this lesser known post-apocalyptic film is so in my wheelhouse! This 1984 film stars John Stockwell, Rae Dawn Chong, James Earl Jones, Robbie Benson, Kim Cattrell, and Don Opper (he wrote the script) among some other names. This movie literally looks like they made this film with leftover movies on a shoestring budget and it worked. In 1984, a plague has hit killing almost all adults and leaving kids to fend for themselves. 15 years has past and now the kids or survivors of this plague run the cities with no power. John Stockwell as Lee heads to the city for adventure to look for a group of survivors known as the “Clippers”. Clippers are a motorcycle gang that has split the dark city with the “DA’s”. The gangs have made peace for years now so they would stop killing each other and just try to survive. But a corporation has moved in and is trying to force the gangs to be a part of the system of rebuilding. If they do not cooperate with the Sunya Corp. they will be killed. With Lee finding these new friends he wants to help them fight for the city and keep it from the adults trying to move in. This movie is absolutely cheesy wonderfulness! I give this mid-80s gem 4 stars all the way!

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details and upcoming guests.