Tag Archives: Massacre

Gross Movie Reviews #686

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I:Scream – A Minty Musical (Blu-ray) – This independent feature might be the surprise of 2025 that movie fans have been looking for. In Aleen Isley’s directorial debut, Charlie a young scientist must fight off their own creation. Trying to woo the love of the young scientist’s life with chocolate chip mint ice cream it is unforeseen that a janitor later would accidentally cause a spill of Charlie’s animation formula into the ice cream that was left causing a major issue? The experimental formula brings the delicious green ice cream to life to immediately eat the janitor’s arm then cause chaos nearby as it grows to eat people in its path! Charlie with friends entrust a former ice cream man, “Old Man Reggie” to steer them to a solution in defeating this mutant ice cream problem. Along the way Miss Isley’s characters break out into song about the killer ice cream making this a lighthearted horror must see. Aleen Isley used all of her behind the scenes experience of several other projects to prove it is worth taking a chance to make something memorable and entertaining for your debut. She deserves to be congratulated in what she has accomplished even with a scene stealing David Dietz as “Old Man Reggie” as I give this feature 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Weed Hacker Massacre (Tubi) – The movie can get a little confusing on what exactly is going on but the basic premise of the project is about a killer named “Pokerface”. The Indie slasher can be hilarious in certain moments as a remake of a bad horror movie is being done ten years after. Supposedly the killer Pokerface was killing cast members on set during filming. So decade later the remake is happening with someone that survived and people are dying again but it is found out the murders are being done by the family who pretty much own the town. Again an odd and a little confusing concept but at times fun as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

A Mother’s Dying Wish (DVD) – A short film from a talented filmmaker named Jason Burke available on his ‘Nostalgic Nightmare Productions Movie Collection Volume 2’ that was made for the 48 Hour Film Project. Siblings get together trying to face the fact their mother has passed away as their mother got them to this meeting with a letter. They discuss, argue, etc. but that’s when the fun begins as none of them understand until it is too late this was a part of their mother’s plan for them after death as I give the short film 4 out of 4 stars.

Amityville La Llorona (YouTube) – Welcome to entry #72 of the long running horror series that has no signs of stopping as I will always keep watching. This installment comes off funny to me as I honestly believe this film had another title but at last minute someone used the “Amityville” title to get more eyes on it in some weird way. All of the film is one location where a couple argues over a recent death and what it has done to them? During their 65 minute argument or film in this case a demon comes to visit to wreak havoc on the couple. The biggest problem with this entry was I found it boring and literally this where my theory on why this wasn’t originally an Amityville project but a project with the title slapped on it after the fact. No matter what I give this 0 out of 4 stars.

Until Dawn (Blu-ray) – Maybe one of the bigger surprises in horror for me in 2025 is this project based on a more recent video game of where Clover and friends go retracing Clover’s sister Mel’s steps one year later. After directions from a gas station attendant they come to an old ‘visitor center’ for a town that doesn’t exist anymore. The group investigates the building then quickly they all are savagely killed. They all wake up again at the place to do it again, again, again, night after night until they can find a way to survive until dawn. As the nights go on the murders become even more brutal than the night before but the group slowly picks up on the details of what can help them before it’s too late. This is all because an experiment linked to a massive mining accident twenty years before. I quite enjoyed how much fun this horror movie actually was as I give it 3 stars.

Bring Her Back (Blu-ray) – Step siblings are forced to be with a foster parent after their father died unexpectingly in the shower. Piper and Andy fight to stay together and they are given a chance with a reliable foster parent in Laura who used to work for the system. Once at their new residence Andy feels something is off as they meet another child Oliver as the kid acts very off is the best way to put it. The plan for the duo is get through the next few months where Andy will be allowed to apply for guardianship of Piper. But Laura has other plans as she sneaks around in attempt to separate the step siblings as Oliver is always the reason for the plan. As time goes on all involved understand Ollie cannot be controlled any longer and the step siblings figure out they are part of some dark ritual of moving a soul. This slow burn of a horror film isn’t perfect but enjoyable as it presents the lengths of a mother will go to bring her daughter back to life as I give this project 3 stars.

Return of the Corn Zombies (Tubi) – The sequel to mid-west zombie outbreak film is here and once again casted with some very talented Indie folk. The outbreak is not slowing as this project follows a band of survivors traveling across the country looking for a so-called “Paradise”? They want somewhere they do not have to run from or fight for their lives daily. Along the way they meet a young lady who believes they can find what they might be looking for at “Homestead” or their paradise after a long trek to what they thought was safe but was no longer. When they arrive in this safe place they find it to be weird, peaceful, but a little secretive. This farming community has its reasons to be secretive as nothing is what it seems as this family running Homestead have found a way to survive and do not like outsiders as they believe only in family. The film has a great cast again, the film’s beginning is just absolutely fun with its ‘Day of the Dead’ vibe and music, and I quite enjoyed they just didn’t decide to do the same movie all over again. Don’t sleep on this independent zombie project and go support it as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Addy and Andy (Blu-ray) – A no budget 12 episode show from Addison Binek and Andrew Hansom about two young men living together and what antics they get themselves into. Think of an unfiltered but professionally shot sitcom or long skit of two dudes in their early twenties trying to figure out life but mostly like to entertain themselves when together. Some of my laugh out loud episodes involve the movie CHUD, the duo trying not to let the other see they are drinking, The Del Taco episode, and the vampire of course. All the episodes are hilarious but had to point those out as I believe this creation comes off natural and wouldn’t be surprised two young dudes with no camera and living together would be doing these things? I know I would have and for that I am delighted to give this must see project 4 out of 4 stars. What is even better is the episodes are an average of less than ten minutes making it an easy watch but more importantly easy for rewatches on a regular basis.

Amityville Chupacabra (YouTube) – So for entry #73 a team of scientists has captured a mysterious creature/Cryptid for experimentation at the Amityville Labs. Unsure where their experiments should go next because of the creature’s unrest the creature finds a way to escape and begins hunting down people in the labs. Reinforcements are called in to recapture the creature but the scientists understand they are now very expendable because of the escape the project is going to be taken over. I like this concept for a cheesy monster movie entry into the Amityville series but felt a different location and just more blood because it is a cheesy monster concept would have helped this entry as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Zombies (YouTube) – Moving on to entry #74 without warning this one is an anthology of Amityville zombie films in various lengths. Shawn Phillips who has made several entries has found an unmarked video tape at a thrift store and while watching the tape changes him into a zombie. On the tape is these projects hosted by the lovely and talented Dr. Boobenstein aka Rebecca Rinehart. All the films long or short take place around the New York area. First half of the film is a very serious zombie segment called ‘District Dead’ about a YouTuber witnessing a zombie outbreak and six months later he is recording what is left. In the middle are a couple non-serious zombie shorts then the second half is made up of two brothers surviving the zombie onslaught in the New York area? It is a different concept but what hurts it is the first film ‘District Dead’ runs about 37 minutes or so and literally could have stood on its own. This project sets the tone of the anthology and the segments that follow it just don’t fit with it in my opinion. This attempt isn’t a bad idea by any means the anthology just feels like oil and water and believe something else other than ‘District Dead’ would have been a better fit for the better of the anthology. ‘District Dead’ is something that should have been released on its own for the benefit of both projects as I give this entry 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #685

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Brute 1976 (On Demand) – On August 19, 1976 a group of people headed out to the middle of nowhere desert for a photo shoot that was near the ghost town of “Savage” where stories of people going missing there intrigues the group. Of course unbeknownst to the group a weird ass family lives there to feed on strangers when they pass through. One by one the family picks them off like kids playing with their toys on Christmas morning. The film stars Sarah French who was great as usual as the film has this ‘House of a 1000 Corpses’ vibe but never fulfills its potential of entertaining thrills as from the beginning it feels like its missing that certain ingredient to make it awesome. For that I can only give this flick 2 stars.

Movie Theater Massacre (Tubi) – The Redford Movie Theatre is closing this week as staff is sad to see it go as their jobs will also. Lots of commentary by the characters why theaters are going away these days: COVID, Streaming, Netflix, no 70s erotica, you are getting the picture. But a mystery person has taken it upon themselves to kill off the employees and eventually steal stuff. What seems like a fun premise takes a complete left turn into absurdity as ghosts from the theater’s past kills the killer and somehow the once being sold theater is saved… WTF? The film starts off as a self-aware we are smarter than you watching this movie kind of thing then turns into a complete farce of “we have no clue what we actually want this movie to be”. For that you get 0.0 stars. I feel like there was an idea in there somewhere but yinz quickly got away from it.

Weapons (Amazon) – A film to me at least that was advertised as a modern day ‘Village of the Damned’ actually is not as in a small community a whole classroom of kids except one disappears in the middle of the night. The teacher of this classroom is haunted by the event as she cannot leave things alone by must knowing what really happened. One concerned parent begins to figure things out but this is where we get several stories or points of view from several characters that eventually intersect explaining the evil that is in the town. The movie is a solid scare but not the horror film for me if that makes sense as the cop character and his story arc easily could have been cut out chopping this movie down to a more reasonable viewing experience. Again the movie has an interesting way of unfolding but I believe this horror film is meant for more the mainstream crowd as I give it 2 stars.

The Amityviller Killer (Fawesome) – First, yes you read that spelling right. Second, welcome to entry #70 kids that happens to be a short film consisting of a woman slaughtering Amityville residents. But just when you knew what the hell was going on an alien has landed in Amityville to snatch up subjects for its leader that happens to be a guinea pig. What does this all mean? Could not for the loves of Rutger Hauer tell you but it was better than ‘Amityville Mt. Misery Road’. For just the utter weirdness I give this 24 minute project 2 out of 4 stars.

The Amityville Lost Tape (Fawesome) – Oh my kids we got entry #71 here as its present day Halloween where an individual finds a VHS tape in a bowl of candy he stole. The tape consist footage of three individuals who are so-called paranormal investigators who plan to visit the Amityville home. To their credit they do a deep dive into everything supernatural or paranormal: EVPs, horoscopes, tarot card readings, discussions, etc. Everything builds to the three visiting the Amityville house in attempt to catch or report something ghastly. But in the end all we get is the characters walking near it and driving near it then some static. There is wonderful buildup by the filmmaker but a disappointing way to end a found footage film as I give this entry 1 ½ stars.

Evil Night (Blu-ray) – Looking for an oddity well you got it here as Chris Seaver and crew in 2014 remade Todd Jason Cook’s underground Indy film from 1992 with a more comedic twist. The plot revolves around your classic movie nerd Jimmy Fisher who is obsessed with the cute redhead Jennifer he is tutoring. But Jennifer with the help of friends convinces her to prank Jimmy in his basement/lab as they plan to post the footage on social media. This sends Jimmy over the edge to wear a clown mask and slaughter those who wronged him. Right or wrong people this was a crude but fun remake to check out but more than likely yinz will think it’s more of a Seaver film than a remake. No matter I give this entertaining remake with a ‘Slaughter High’ vibe 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

He’s Coming to Get You! (DVD) – This well casted independent horror film is about George waking up to celebrate his 33rd birthday. Aside from his girlfriend Asia forced to work a bit that day they have plans to hang, celebrate, and do the TONGUE trick. The two go visit an occult book store where the store owner spooks them a bit. They are satisfied with the experience only to be accosted immediately by two individuals in an alley where George is shot and killed as his girlfriend is kidnapped for nefarious actions. The occult store owner sees the event happen and brings George back explaining he has six hours to use his new afterlife to save his girlfriend. This feature has a little bit of everything: great cast, great onscreen chemistry between the George and Asia characters, a hilarious foot fetish scene, the occult, something for all independent film fans as I give this quite a piece of entertainment 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #671

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Rumpelstiltskin (UltraHD/4K) – Okay Terrorvision did you just seriously release this on 4K? Fucking wild since I haven’t watched this film since its release in 1995 as it comes from the same dude that gave us ‘Leprechaun’ of course so it was time for a revisit. So after stealing a baby hundreds of years ago Rumpelstiltskin is cursed into being a rock by a witch. Now present day, a prego wife who has lost her cop husband in a senseless crime finds herself a little later at an oddities store where she buys the rock. She takes it home, she has the baby now, wishes her husband to be alive (after they bump uglies of course in a dream) and now this little demon is chasing her or she is chasing it because it wants the baby’s soul! By the way Rumpelstiltskin smokes cigars, hard to kill, can drive a motorcycle and a long haul truck which fun fact the producers of this flick are the same dudes that gave us Scooby-Doo and Thundarr the Barbarian! This fairy tale terror is not as much fun as Leprechaun but it’s packed with a commentary, making of segment, Shot on VHS behind the scenes stuff, and even has a baking segment as I give it 2 ½ stars and make you say “fuck it” and watch it anyway.

Colossal (DVD) – This 2016 film is about a character Gloria who just happens to be an aging party girl in New York who has a boyfriend that supports her until he has had enough of her all night partying. Gloria being thrown out is forced back to her small town home where her parents died but left her their home. She stays there to decide what’s next besides trying to no longer drink but at the same time Seoul, Korea is attacked by a mysterious giant monster. As the attacks become more frequent not exactly explained to the world Gloria and friends become intrigued? Gloria figures out it have something to do with a childhood trauma at a playground that wasn’t there but is now with her friend Oscar. The film becomes about unresolved childhood trauma, friendship, and Gloria just trying to figure out life. For me the film is neither good nor bad as it had me waiting for something else to happen but never did. But for those that like this film this just “wasn’t my cup of tea” as I give it 2 stars.

Cutter’s Club (Tubi) – A newer but older Charles Band release that stars the legendary fine actor Tony Todd. This was one of the many unfinished projects of Mr. Band from several years ago that he finally got a crew together to unearth it and put it out there for fans. (Way too many stories about why, but this isn’t the first unfinished project that has found its way out there from the Charles Band magical warehouse recently. That is for a whole other conversation sometime.) Jill is a med student in the process of becoming a surgeon believes she could do more research with a disgraced great doctor that could change the world? This great doctor is Doctor Roberts and up until a year or so ago the university loved him until it was found out he was banging Jill so instead of firing him they place him in the basement of the east wing where he continues his experiments… with his odd satanic-like minions. Jill convinces her boyfriend after an experiment with a cat that the right thing to do would be to join forces with Dr. Roberts to further research. The purpose for all involved is “Art of Flesh” but they need more than animals for their big experiment and bring to life a creature with two heads. This 2005 film felt a bit thrown together then and still does now but enjoy seeing the potential in Charles Band finishing some of these “unfinished” projects as I give this 2 ½ stars.

Zombie Repellent (Tubi) – A soon to be married couple find themselves lost and without their car (believed stolen) in the middle of nowhere. They get to a small town that has no hotels, no Wi-Fi, and just a little weird as they can’t sleep as they uncover the town has a zombie problem. Now the couple must do everything they can with whoever will believe them during their misadventure to survive the zombies. There is some parts I am leaving out on purpose because it does have some funny parts but the bigger thing is the movie has an ending that isn’t ‘what you think it is’ so understand why this is more of a vague review as I give the film 2 stars.

Alien Intruder (VHS) – Thank you to my good friend Jon Cross for pointing out PM Entertainment to me this wild movie filler 1993 space gem stars Maxwell Caulfield, Billy Dee Williams, Jeff Conaway, and Tracy Scoggins! It is 2022 A.D. as Nick Mancuso and a few other prisoners are pulled out of New Alcatraz to use their special skills for a rescue mission or salvage mission. Little they know Tracy Scoggins plays a renegade VR program that has infected the ship they are going after and just enjoys making mankind lust for her and then kill each other. With most of the film being filler of Tracy Scoggins being the Ariel program or just being gorgeous the crew tries to disable the program so they can escape this hell. Fun cast in a low budget film that is so low budget it feels like they filmed it all in a K-mart warehouse and basement will always spell fun time to me as I give it 3 stars.

Beast Mode (DVD) – Literally this is one of those films released in 2020 that I cannot tell it was that big of a mess the studio didn’t know what to do with or like a lot of films that year it got “COVIDED” . Anyway we have a beaten down on his luck producer in C. Thomas Howell who accidentally kills or believes he does his meal ticket aka star in Huckle Saxton. Howell’s staff finds a double to pass off as Huckle for a movie project and uses this underground herbal make-up to pass him off. Problem is the make-up is known to make someone who uses it into a bloodthirsty beast. Meanwhile the real Huckle Saxton wakes up in a storage unit and from there the plot just gets real murky at best. No matter what, I found C. Thomas Howell to be the gem in this huge mess as I enjoyed his character throughout but still can only give this film 1 ½ stars.

Arkansas Pigman Massacre (Fawesome) – Another massacre film acquired but problem is they should have thought twice about making it. The film claims the events of the film take place in 2004 where two 12 year old girls go with a big brother randomly to the woods only to be stalked by a guy in a pig mask for most of the film. Or to save us all a bunch of trouble of me ranting about this film I like to call this movie: Look ma, I have a drone! Also I watched ‘In a Violent Nature’ last year and I was always a fan of ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ but for some reason I wanted to have the plot of my film literally not make sense. Hopefully that explains this mess of an Indy movie that I can only give it 0 stars. Want to know more of my breakdown please find me, buy me a beer, and we will have an educational conversation? I so wanted this to be a no-budget fun mess instead I got a turd that someone calls a movie!

Side Effects May Vary (DVD) – A movie project I wish I would have seen sooner as even before we get into the review this will make it into my “Top Ten list of 2025”! So J.R. Bookwalter returns to the director’s chair for the first time in 23 years along with help from writer and star James L. Edwards. Glenn has been sick for several weeks during this pandemic and doesn’t exactly believe in the science behind the new vaccines even though his wife has gotten it. Because of his illness lingering and nagging from his wife Glenn heads to the doctor’s office to get treatment. But because of the illness he cannot be vaccinated but can be part of this experimental shot that can be given during illness. He takes it believing he is doing the right thing for himself and others. It isn’t long after Glenn experiences side effects of blurred/weird visions, then also after a very uncomfortable but hilarious sex scene with the wife his dong falls off! From there Glenn becomes a gooey monstrous mess with murderous tendencies. As Glenn’s best friend gets involved, cops get involved, weird things begin to happen as Glenn’s disgusting meltdown is absolutely glorious with a perfect ending to this social commentary. This independent project is a prime example of doing all the little things right equals’ success as JR and crew put on a Masterclass of “how to make your independent movie correctly”. This was a perfect pandemic film that many have tried and failed at making so congrats to JR and James for bringing this adventure to life as I will be talking about it for years. As I give this project 4 out of 4 stars I also have to say Brinke Stevens steals the show here kids as this is her best performance since ‘Sorority Babes in the Slime Bowl-o-rama’! The DVD has a great Q&A for their opening night of the film done by none other Art Ettinger.

The Gorge (Amazon) – Two snipers are recruited to keep watch for 365 days straight over a gorge of unknown origin for uncertain reasons. Mostly they just know it’s supposedly for their country. One on the east and one on the west as shortly after World War II as the story goes three Calvary groups went in and never came back so an international treaty for this gorge was made. It is believed to be the “gate to hell” but as the two become curious about each other and decide to meet which by the way is not allowed as the two fall in love and share stories of what they know. But an incident has both trapped inside the gorge as they soon learn more than just monsters are the problem and it is part of something bigger? This is one of those “I liked it but didn’t love it” as it felt more like a video game adaptation of something thrown together. I enjoyed the concept but also felt like the movie was missing something as I give the project 3 stars.

Screamboat (Fandango) – Another unfunny adaptation of Steamboat Willie going into public domain as the Staten Island Ferry is haunted by the real life Steamboat Willie when it is released from its chamber. The killer rodent slaughters his way through passengers in a pretty boring way but I did enjoy ‘the lower deck scene as this is how we kill off 98% of the passengers in one fail swoop kind of thing’. The movie runs 30 minutes too long, the Disney references border on super annoying, and if you are into Jason Takes Manhattan combined with a bootleg Gingerdeadman vibe then hey you found your movie as I give it 1 star.

Berserker: The Nordic Curse (Tubi) – A 1987 film that I thought I had seen in the past but got it mixed up with two other Indy films I seen like 15 or 20 years ago so this was my first watch of the low budget horror from the 80s. The story takes place in nowhere Utah called ‘Rainbow Valley Campgrounds’ where supposedly Vikings hung out in the tenth century? Some young people are there for a week of camping only to be warned by George Buck Flower and the lone sheriff that there are wild animals out there “so be careful”. The kids get partying; read some stories of the Nordic legend, then one of them wander off to pee and its game time for the Nordic spirit or… the killer bear. Glad I got to see it but yinz arenot missing out on much folks as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #659

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Halloween Massacre (Tubi) – A no budget UK horror film that comes in under 60 minutes and looks like hacked up project or pieces of film splice together has a pissed off lady Valentina looking for revenge. Apparently in the small town of Charnwood an escaped convict dressed as a clown has found other killer clown friends as they lure people into their weird home to murder. Valentina is hell bent on tracking down this horrible killer and killing him herself. There are only two redeeming scenes in this stupid mess: a) A clown faking a punch to a pregnant lady’s belly a couple times and b) the killer clown pushing a watermelon up inside a woman’s sensitive area. Outside of those two scenes the film is not very watchable so consider yourself warned if you go looking as I give it 0 stars.

Horny Teenagers Must Die! (Tubi) – An Indy feature that has a group of high school graduates all of whom are the stereotypes of slasher films past heading to a weekend cabin party. Once the young people have sex they are slaughtered shortly after. The film does a solid job of a slasher film but its biggest flaw is it does nothing or even try to do something to make it stand out from the crowd of imitators as I could only give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Swabian Granny Gore Terror (Blu-ray) – This crazy no budget gore flick is straight out of Germany in 2019 where the film can also be found under the title ‘Demonic Murder Granny’. Some bitchy old lady eats a random jar of raspberries from 1867 in her basement to quickly transform into a monster. Once transformation is completed she is on the hunt to launch an assault on drug-addled criminals, lazy construction dudes, rando dudes getting high, and a handicapped dude for shits and giggles. So if you consider entertainment “crazy granny killing randos in a gory manner” then this project is for you as I give it 2 stars.

Livescream (Blu-ray) – Scott is a gamer who streams his game playing online and has gathered a few followers over the time he has been doing it. Well an unknown fan has sent Scott a new horror game to play online for his audience. Scott is excited as he jokes with it being called a “haunted game” but also finds it a little sketchy that he had no knowledge of this game existing? Scott reads the instructions non-seriously then jumps into the gameplay but quickly dies in the game as this is where the movie takes a turn as the game explains there are consequences with playing this horror game. The viewers of Scott quickly become victims as they mysteriously disappear or killed but the kick in the ass is Scott will die also if he quits. As he continues with the gameplay Scott increasingly becomes nervous that his viewers are literally dying by his hands if he doesn’t accomplish finishing each level. I honestly haven’t played video games on any regular basis since I completed Resident Evil 3 on my PlayStation (or otherwise I am old) but I quite enjoyed the premise of the film, the design, and the bare bones but effective storytelling. For a gamer or a younger movie watcher it will feel interactive if you allow yourself to be entertained as I give this no budget project 3 out of 4 stars.

Hell’s Trap (Blu-ray) – Here is a 1989 Mexican thriller about two macho dudes who want to settle their competition with each other by going bear hunting in the mountains. A bear has recently been blamed for a few deaths of hunters who were recently there so what better way to settle a bet between friends than going bear hunting. They are warned they may find more than they bargain for which of course they quickly find in a crazed American war vet who wears a mask, has a bat cave, and a Freddy glove aka metal bear claw to slaughter folks that come looking his way. Nacho and friends have enough charm along with the crazy killer to keep horror fans entertained for this one as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Dinosaur Prison (Tubi) – A trio of women break into a highly secured (which is laughable) prison that is being used for animal testing. To the young ladies surprise they find dinosaurs imprisoned in the cells. Honestly this idea should have died in the first two minutes when no one questions them wandering around taking pictures but ignore the giant plot hole including the security guard that never shoots them but threatens too way too many times to count. Anyhow the women are captured by security and a weird so-called doctor dude that looks like an extra from a Willy Wonka stage play explains he is behind the experiments but he needs them to get the word out about the dinosaurs. Sounds all well and good until the so-called high-tech prison (again, where are your cameras) malfunctions and the dinosaurs find themselves free to start eating people. I wanted to laugh more at this film but it kept trying to be too serious as I can only give it a ½ star.

Murder for Pleasure (DVD) – An early project from filmmaker Derek Braasch that was released in 2016 as its plot revolves around a young man named Victor. Victor goes to see a professional as he struggles with his anger ever since his parents were killed in a restaurant several years ago. Victor’s struggles are getting the best of him as the only answer seems to be to kill those who he believes deserve it to calm the tendencies. As the film progresses Victor doesn’t just murder people but also torture them as he ups the level of violence ‘August Underground’ style! The story of Victor has flaws but it is something that can be seen as entertaining in the sense of a young man losing himself in his insanity and loss of parents at a young impressionable age  as I give the Indy film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #657

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Yule Log 2: Branchin’ Out (Max) – So Zoe surviving the Yule Log Massacre of the first film as it is referred too wakes in a hospital and wants to do the holidays without a fireplace. Meanwhile, the Yule Log that won’t die has other plans to track down the only survivor to finish the job it started. Zoe and friend start road tripping until an accident caused by Zoe leaves them stranded in the Hallmark movie town of Mistletoe. Here Zoe learns to love again even though she carries an axe with her at all times and a firefighter named Blaze is shirtless the whole film. The Yule Log eventually finds Zoe in the most ridiculous way while leaving a blood soaked trail to her during a Yule Log Festival. I laughed my ass off several times during this sequel as this is possibly the best one, two holiday punch since the ‘Jack Frost’ films as I give it 3 ½ stars.

House of the Wizard’s Blackened Soul (YouTube) – Dakota Ray’s latest Indy project is a short film that runs 27 minutes surrounding a young troubled man Gideon. Gideon has several issues struggling through life then thrown a curveball when he becomes the caretaker for his not in the best of health grandfather and his estate. Gideon takes it on but falls into a deeper world of darkness that he cannot escape as he discovers something even worse was waiting for him. Is Gideon dreaming it all? Was he already dead? Was this the dark world Gideon wanted all along? These questions can be debated after watching and how each viewer will for sure see things differently than the last. Mr. Dakota Ray usually plays with dark things in his projects but takes it to an interesting level with this well shot almost artsy project. This wild short film will find its audience as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Black Rat (DVD) – This is a 2010 film out of Japan from the dude who directed ‘Battle Royale II’ for whatever that is worth. A young lady Asuka dances in front of a rat head on top of a school building only to commit suicide after. Sometime later a group of supposedly Asuka’s friends receive a text to meet at midnight in their classroom at school. The friends meet up only to be confronted by a mystery person in Asuka’s rat head and armed with a baseball bat. One by one their secrets are put out there through flashbacks as they die. I wanted to like this more but just felt like a subpar concept that was never as entertaining as I just described it as I give it 2 stars.

The Beast in the Cellar (DVD) – An early 70s film that tackles the story of a creature nearby a British Army Camp murdering soldiers in the countryside. Joyce and Ellie are two older women who just seem innocent and a bit curious people who live off the beaten path in the same countryside. But after authorities and soldiers have visited their home several times for their safety it comes out Joyce and Ellie have had a secret that started during the Great War as they must care, protect, and keep their younger brother from war. Not too terribly bloody but an interesting find if you enjoy British horror as I give it 2 stars.

Mad Cow Massacre (YouTube) – Pretty much first time filmmakers out of Iowa having a little fun on a tiny budget set their serial killer plot in the small town of Farmville. Here is where the latest killings have taken place by a psycho in a cow costume. A detective has been tracking the killer (Mad Cow Killer) through several towns but the killer has decided his murder spree to continue day after day now just in Farmville. This change in behavior has baffled the detective but allows him to gather reinforcements to trap the sick Mad Cow Killer but even after death he cannot be stopped. The project is very rough with many flaws but they understood the massacre concept. It has a lot of heart as it was exactly what I like finding in my micro-budgeted massacre movies as I hope for a sequel soon and as this film gets 2 out of 4 stars.

Grandma’s Cookies (YouTube) – A holiday short film of a young boy staying with Grandma who wants to stay up to see Santa on Christmas Eve. But Grandma tries to convince the boy it isn’t the best thing to be awake to see Santa as she knows the real Santa. See Grandma for years has made special cookies for Santa every year since a child for good reason as the boy staying awake finds out it isn’t all merry as I give the entertaining horror short 3 out of 4 stars.

Joe Returns A Video (YouTube) – This 2019 short film is hilarious in so many ways as it’s all about Joe who forgot to return a VHS copy of Steven Seagal’s ‘Above the Law’ in 1989 and now in 2019 decides it will not be late another day. Joe cannot think of racking up another day of late fees and heads out from his picturesque suburb home to go for a walk to the video store three decades later. Along the way Joe encounters several characters but at all times he explains he has to return Steven Seagal’s ‘Above the Law’ VHS. I was literally laughing about every thirty seconds throughout this 12 minute short as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #654

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Street Trash (Amazon/remake) – I totally forgot this was even happening because it’s just one of those films that are too much of a “cult hit” to be remade or not enough people know about the original? But I kept an open mind especially since the dude that gave us the weird ass flick ‘Fried Barry’ this just made me curious in general. Anyway, set in Cape Town, South Africa where the homeless are growing and trying to fight back. Apparently the plan from the mayor is to exterminate the homeless with drones! Which makes them even more dangerous is a scientist on the mayor’s payroll has figured out the formula for the “Viper” liquid that is turned into a gas for the drones to use on the homeless. The gas will melt the homeless with no chance of survival. But the homeless have a plan to fight back in this gooey mess of a remake and that is cool by me as I give the remake project 3 stars.

12 to Midnight (Xumo Play) – Think about the title for a minute and know that this flick stars Robert Bronzi aka bootleg Chuck Bronson! Oh by the way spoiler alert instead of a naked dude killing nurses it’s a werewolf slaughtering people and that includes Detective Toth’s wife. Daniel Roebuck, Sadie Katz, Tito Ortiz round out the cast as Toth isn’t dealing with the death of his wife well and thrown off the force. But Toth is quickly brought back in as the serial killer is piling up bodies that resemble the murder of his wife. Now Toth goes tracking down a werewolf and drug dealers for revenge. Its cheesy, not exactly making a lot of sense, but its bootleg Chuck Bronson vs. werewolf so I give it 2 ½ stars.

Operation Blood Hunt (On Demand) – This werewolf film takes place during WWII in the South Pacific. The Reverend is a supernatural expert who used to be Special Forces that is wanted by the military to travel to this island in the South Pacific to investigate why a group of marines have disappeared? He and his group have 48 hours but they are warned it might be the Japanese Imperial Army they run into? Besides many slaughtered bodies, The Reverend and others find gold as the real reason some of the military brass wanted professionals to go in. This movie was disappointing as the trailer made it out to be lots of WWII werewolf fun instead we got lots of filler with a disappointing concept and costumes as I give it 1 star.

Terror of the Master (Fawesome) – Found an early 1998 SOV flick from a young Jeff Kirkendall that involves a young local news reporter Drew Thompson who feels she hasn’t had her chance just yet. During this thriller girls go missing and recently Drew seen a girl at her second job who was kidnapped in the latest of the local disappearances. Drew being the investigator along with her sister go probing around town and find two bank robbers have a connection to the missing girls. Soon after Drew is kidnapped and Drew learns the criminals made a deal with a vampire to protect and feed it as he will turn them. It is a rough around the edges SOV flick but has a certain thriller charm that SOV fans will eat up as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Amp House Massacre (Tubi) – A movie where if you are over the age of 25 you will hate the characters immediately and enjoy their deaths as they happen. But there is a point to this folks as the story centers around Mario Stillwell, a social media influencer who started as a no one in 2020 and now is the biggest thing out there in digital land. He comes up with the idea of buying a mansion for all his friends to feel safe to party and influence (yes, I hate myself for just saying that). They all move in and things are going great with the likes, subscribes, and money until Mario dies at the one year anniversary party that was being live streamed. One year after Mario’s death the influencers’ friendship is fractured as they believe they are stale and need to bring in new money to rebrand. Soon as the new face shows up the house is locked down as the influencers have their deepest secret revealed and die horribly one by one. Surprisingly the movie is watchable for the mere fact you are probably going to root for many if not all to die as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Halloweenight (DVD) – A 2009 Indy film where Mark Polonia directs, John Polonia wrote, Jon McBride did the music, and Brett Piper did the effects. If you are an Indy fan do you even need to know what it’s about? Because I wanted to see it soon as I seen all that! So some local college students (the oldest ones on film ever) decide to mess with Creepy Harold’s scarecrow as a prank before their big Halloween party. Crazy Harold doesn’t take to kindly to this event and swears revenge as he steals a heart, performs a ritual, and then places it in his beloved scarecrow. Now prepared Crazy Harold sends his evil scarecrow to wreck the big party for his revenge. Also check out the wicked ass skeleton thing the scarecrow becomes at the end of the film as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.  

Hallow Gate (Blu-ray) – Terror Vision reaches deep into the grab bag of Tim’s teenage video rentals of 1989 with this Halloween cheapie that was released in 1988 and they gave it the special treatment. We begin with a young boy Mark at his Halloween party bobbing for apples with friends where his father takes offense and almost drowns the boy. Mark swears his hatred for Halloween and has a run-in with a young lady as a gas station attendant. After the dust settles a judge believes it would be in the best interest for Mark to stay with Grandma as long as he is taking his meds instead of being in prison. Mark is quietly reading one evening until he doesn’t take his meds, kills Grandma, and then orders costumes for his party. Some kids are convinced to deliver the costumes who become trapped by Mark as he dresses up for each kill at the mansion. One of my favorite death scenes in the Ray Di Zazzo flick is the slow moving tractor scene as it’s so hilariously slow. There are a couple interviews, commentary, and Shocktail hour. Now they have the cleaned up print and the original on this disc which the cleaned up version looks great but seems to have some low volume issues at the beginning of the movie as I give the package 3 stars.

Vigilant (YouTube) – That damn Phil Brocklehurst has made another short film as he never stops working. This short deals with a man who hears a voice that says “kill”. Is it justice, a dream, or is it something more as this man feels criminals should be put to death? An interesting concept that felt like it could be fleshed out more with same effect but this filmmaker has a certain style that is effective and leaves us viewers wanting more as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Trivial (DVD) – Indy vet James L. Edwards brings something different in this feature as an online game show yet seen by the public is hosted by Laurel Edmonds is about to go live with its first episode that applies “Revenge… Torture… Murder… “, according to the show’s opening. She has a partner that helps her kidnap unknowing victims and places them on the show. The contestants give a right answer they have a chance to move on but if they give a wrong trivia answer they must be punished. And three wrong answers mean death in this sadistic game show. Laurel lives to torture and only she can be right in this gritty sadistic underground streaming game show. This can be an uncomfortable watch for some as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Talk to Me (Blu-ray) – An Australian horror film where a group of friends have found the new high as they have found a something that allows them to conjure spirits. It is believed to be a party trick for friends to post on social media apps but it is believed when Mia and friends hit up a party where the game happens. It consists the person to hold this hand that may or may not been cut off a psychic that allows the person holding hands to see into the other side. It’s all fun and games for Mia and friends until it hits home when Mia’s mother is one of the spirits that visits but when you are left holding hands too long they will take you over. Such as a young kid who begins to smash his head in because the spirits have him and this causes Mia to become obsessed with speaking to her mother and learning if she really committed suicide. This film has the creepiness of ‘Flatliners’ and ‘The Innkeepers’ as it does the whole conjuring spirit thing right as I give the project 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #560

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Gross Movie Reviews #560

Final Impact (DVD) – While on my search for more “massacre” and “Amityville” flicks I came across this forgotten B-action gem from 1991 starring Lorenzo Lamas and the lovely Kathleen Kinmont. Lamas plays a miserable drunk Nick Taylor who use to be a kickboxing champion three years before but now just feels sorry for himself as he runs a strip club. A young and upcoming kid named Danny visits Taylor before his trip to Vegas to fight the long standing champion Jake. With only Nick’s help can this kid survive a fight with Jake? Fun direct-to-video stuff for the action movie ‘Carnosaur’ as I give it 2 ½ stars.

100 Degrees Below Zero (DVD) – As usual I tripped over another Asylum film that stars or I should wastes the talents of Jeff Fahey and John Rhys-Davies. This absurd flick deals with a few global events that cause mass panic as Paris begins to freeze! Majority of the film is Jeff Fahey and wife trying to get their rich twenty-something kids out of Paris before the next Ice Age. Sometimes Asylum, not making a movie can be a good idea also as I give this waste of my time 0 stars.

Crystal Lake Memories (Shudder) – Hey ‘Friday the 13th’ fans you have 6 ½ hours to waste and need Corey Feldman to guide you? Well here is your answer with this ultimate documentary that covers everything about the movie series as I give it 4 stars. (Which by the way those folks that dropped a hundred or $150 on the box set recently understand you still didn’t get the uncut version of Part 7: The New Blood?)

Reunion Massacre (Tubi) – This more recent Indy flick is also known as ‘Invitation to Die’. Not totally sure why this one had two different titles but anyhow it did fall under my “massacre” category so I know I had to watch it… at least once. A young woman gets an invite to her 10 year high school reunion and decides to go even though she is warned by a random old carnival fortune telling machine. Along the way and once in the structure she and others are stalked by a mysterious man in a clown mask! This film left me with so many questions:

A) Why did this young lady have to put up Halloween decorations before she went to this so-called reunion?

B) Is the clown mask from the ‘Camp Blood’ films which are a whole other bag of dumplings that I will get into more someday?

C) Was that the same Zoltar machine from ‘Big’ with Tom Hanks or were you just trying to find one that looked like it?

D) This home/building/school that is clearly under some kind of construction or destruction that was built in the middle of nowhere like the school for ‘Slaughter High’. How didn’t the whole movie take place there because that was a movie in itself?

E) Why does film like it was two different short films cobbled together because the second half of the film didn’t make much sense if the woman dreamt all of this but also the second half felt like it was tacked on or edited in just to justify feature length which is something that can be debated for years what justifies “feature length”?

Anyhow, wasn’t a big fan of the film as it left me with way too many questions but the honest big pet peeve was the ending as it goes out with a whimper as I give it 1 star (you get one star just for this random remote building and you made me invoke the great slasher film ‘Slaughter High’).

Hack-in-the-Box (Dropbox) – Holy mother F’N balls kids! This perfect short film from Zane Hershberger (see me in person to listen to me destroy his name with my Yinzer accent) has four bad ass women preparing to take on an unknown demonic force from a music box. To their horror what comes for them they couldn’t have prepared enough! As this old school blend of ‘Evil Dead’ and “Empire Pictures” project would make a young Sam Raimi blush then sign Zane to a multi-picture deal to his production company! What is Hollywood’s loss is the independent community’s gain because Zane, the actresses involved, and crew behind them should be all Hollywood bound as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars and the early front runner on my “Best of 2022 list”.

Body Melt (DVD) – If you don’t have enough “body horror” in your life there is this Australian gooey cult classic where people of Peebles Court, Homesville are actually an experiment. A man from Vimuville Health Farm grows a conscious and wants to warn the people they are guinea pigs for a new drug that speeds up human decomposition but was supposedly gonna be another health drug but goes horribly wrong. This man Ryan is killed but sets forth a series of events that baffles authorities as the residents of this area begin to die rapidly in horrible ways. Weird, Australian, gooey, yep, I am watching every time as I give it 3 stars. 

The Cellar (VHS/YouTube) – One of my favorite actors in Patrick Kilpatrick stars in this late 80s film where he and family (The Cashen family) moves into an old desert home that is on cursed land. Apparently back in the day Native Americans were pissed at white people and cursed the land where an evil spirit in a basement creature will devour any white people that live there. The young Cashen boy discovers this monster early on but no one believes him until he devises a plan to blow the fucker up! Nowhere near a perfect flick but it has a monster, cursed land, white people are assholes, and Patrick Kilpatrick so I will always check something like this out as I give it 2 stars.

Exterminator 2 (Blu-ray) A couple years go by and Richard Ginty still has the itch to kill all criminals and make sure people still remember ‘The Exterminator’! This time around a young street gang led by a very young looking Mario Van Peebles wants to take over the city’s drug trade and then take over the city itself by killing and raping one person at a time. But Ginty, a large garbage truck, and a flamethrower are fucking up every gang member that follows Peebles character. Not as good as the first film but still worth tracking down for a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars. Look for Irwin Keyes playing a small role as one of the gang members also. Note: I now believe Shout Factory has put out this title out on DVD in a 4-pack.Update: a review published in one of my older books (never posted on the website) so I am just reposting the review. But the big thing is the 4-pack from Shout Factory is out of print but there is a new Blu-ray for us fans. Great picture quality and a commentary but that is about it on any extras you ever gonna get for this Cannon Group sequel. The film doesn’t nearly have the impact of the original but the music is enough nostalgia to make you buy the Blu-ray and enjoy the Ginty one more time.

Death Train (DVD/TV movie/internet) – An Australian 70s TV flick that stars a pre-Mad Max Hugh Keays-Byrne as an insurance investigator who strolls into a small town to investigate Mr. Cook’s somewhat mysterious death. Supposedly Mr. Cook was killed by a train that hasn’t existed for decades. As Morrow finds answers he is actually finding himself asking more questions as all the residents of this small area talk about this ghost train. The flick is a fun light-hearted mystery that shows off the acting chops of Hugh Keays-Byrne as after you see this film it only makes sense why he was so perfect as “Toe-cutter” in one of the best post-apocalyptic films ever ‘Mad Max’. I give this fun mystery ghost train film 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #532

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Gross Movie Reviews #532

 

Allan Ouartermain and The Lost City of Gold (DVD/YouTube) – Richard Chamberlin is back as Quartermain and Sharon Stone as Jesse and they are talking marriage until someone comes out of the jungle talking about Quartermain’s brother and The Lost City of Gold and might be dead. So of course Quartermain goes looking for him and Jesse is not happy delaying the wedding and having another near death experience. Allan find his brother and The Lost City of Gold rather quickly but they find out that the people who live there are under control of a demanding slave trader (Henry Silva and Cassandra Peterson) who claim to be a god but really just stealing the gold. A fun follow up from 1987 that is worth checking out if you enjoyed the first film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Bunker: Project 12 (DVD) – During the Cold War Russian scientists were working on a secret project that involved super soldiers but was after funding was cut in 1973 the scientists disappeared. Henderson (Eric Roberts) who is one of the most renowned scientists pays some mercenaries to track down these lost scientists so they can access this hidden bunker and gather information of this project. Once there documents are found going step by step on the old project but there is also something waiting for them. Since this story has been done to death recently the writer throws in a storyline with one of the mercs turning on the team to gain more money. Love seeing Eric Roberts but this lackluster feature highly lacked some of the films with similar storylines in the past. In the end wished they would have at least tried to do something different but they went with what works but just not in this project as I give 1 star.

 

Mystery of the Wax Museum (DVD/YouTube) – Stop me if you heard this one before? After a fire in a London wax museum to collect insurance money a new one pops up in New York. Not too long after its opening bodies begin to go missing from the city morgue and show up at the life like museum people are raving about. This 1933 feature sounds a lot like ‘House of Wax’ with Vincent Price but with a few differences. ‘House of Wax’ is always wonderful but you can now see where it got its influence as this was a fun find for me as I never seen this flick until now. This is some fun stuff to check out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Cheerleader Camp to the Death (DVD) – A Dustin Ferguson joint for no money where cheerleaders from different schools head out to camp for three days to work, relax, and unplug. So who cares cheerleaders died the year before at Horizon Fields Camp in a weird sprinkler accident, they are there to have fun and work on the newest routines. Of course once coach goes missing the girls refuse to see there is a problem until it’s too late as they are being killed off by a person dressed as a panda. Not covering new territory but there is a wonderfully hilarious scene around the campfire where one of the cheerleaders tells a story about a 12 inch cock! “Because, it is like an urban legend or… something!” This Indy flick as a couple laughs but not enough gore for me but its short running time does make it a quick out as I give it 2 stars.

Corporate Cutthroat Massacre (DVD) – This unknown 2009 feature has Brandi Babcock as the boss of an office that she is claiming getting pressure from up top for her staff to work harder as the numbers are down. So after firing a person or two explains all must stay after hours to get all their sales together from the past three quarters. If they do not or whoever has the lowest they will be fired also. Brandi needs to fix it fast as “Corporate” is losing money! As the night moves along people who work in the office begin to disappear as you wonder are they fired or has Brandi finally pushed someone to kill? No matter what none of them are good enough in Brandi’s eyes as I give this half step above dullness 1 ½ stars.

 

Promising Young Woman (On Demand) – Cassie is a young woman whose life hasn’t gone exactly the way she dreamed of. Now 30, working at a coffee shop, and still living at home with the parents Cassie hasn’t wanted to tackle life goals as with her complicated past she just goes to bars and gets revenge on guys by letting them think she is drunk and fucks with them. Then one day happiness shows up for her but when she is about to believe her life has taken a great turn her complicated past comes back to haunt her in a horrible way. The only way to deal with it is the only way Cassie knows how haunt it and the people who were a part of it back! A fun revenge film I give 3 stars too.

 

The Shadow of the Cat (DVD/YouTube) – Another old school flick I never had the pleasure of viewing as a child an old woman named Ella is killed off by three greedy people close to her and the cat witnessed it. Now as the three murderers try to cover up the cat is haunting them as much as it can. Thus making it difficult to get away with when Ella’s favorite niece Beth shows up and the cat likes her. Authorities get involved but keep being side tracked by the family so they all can split up the fortune and find Ella’s real will to burn it. A fun PG rated early 60s horror film that we get another of someone explaining cats stealing people’s breath… TOLD YOU ITS REAL as I give the flick 2 stars.         

Massacre (DVD) – Another late 80s film with the title ‘Massacre’ that was also known in some countries as ‘The Border of Tong’ starring David Heavener. Heavener is Detective Walker who is investigating some horrible murders in Chinatown. While he has no leads a gang known as The Tong is looking for a missing black book that has names and numbers that could ruin things for them in the long run. But the hard-nose detective refuses to let borders get in the way of a good investigation has he tracks down a suspect into Canada. I would love to say this crime thriller gets good but stays consistently dull throughout with a little spice in the middle where the suspect falls in love with a runaway sex slave. They get a room in Calgary and try to live a normal life until The Tong and Walker come a knocking. Don’t worry in the end it all works out as the good guy catches all the bad guys as I give it 1 star for David Heavener’s first film.

 

Street Hunter (DVD/YouTube) – This is one of those crazy B-action flicks that went straight-to-video that stars a host of people that makes you ask in wonder, “They are in this?” Steve James is Logan Blade, a lone wolf bounty hunter who was wronged as an officer of the law. Logan just happens to witness a big time drug dealer (John Leguizamo) have a mercenary (Reb Brown) on the payroll who has trained the dealer’s cronies into an army that is ready to take over the streets for the Columbians. The only person that can stop them is Logan and now they have his girl and they killed an old friend on the force. Get ready for a huge squibfest in this slightly fun action flick as I give it 2 stars.

 

Raiders of the Golden Triangle (DVD/YouTube) – Two rival gangs fight over opium in the mountains of Asia that is called “The Golden Triangle”. A Hong Kong officer goes undercover and is able to become a member of one these gangs so he can stop the big drug operation. The film is self-explanatory but felt like I would have enjoyed this much more if I actually got high or had drank a ton of alcohol as I give it 1 star.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #529

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Gross Movie Reviews #529

 

Steel Frontier (DVD) – This under the radar film is a post-apocalyptic western flick from 1995 that stars the likes of Kane Hodder, Brion James, and Bo Svenson. The general and his ‘Death Riders’ roll into a town called ‘New Hope’. The general is there for a shave and just to take over the small refinery town as they have made use of used tires for fuel. The residents have a choice to die or become a part of the new United Regime. Meanwhile, “Space Jesus” aka Yuma is caught out in the wasteland after he killed several men and brought into town but joins forces with the new army. From there Yuma slowly kills off the evil force from within in hopes of saving the town of New Hope. The film has a bootleg Blackjack Mulligan, the great war is called ‘The Boom’, and lots of awesome stunts but what takes the luster off of this gem is the last climatic chase scene. We get a school bus chased by an 18-wheeler and eventually the 18-wheeler drives right through the fucking thing in a huge explosion that should have killed everyone but didn’t. Also it feels the character of Yuma aka Space Jesus was a little inconsistent of why he was actually there but I liked it enough I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Night Sitter (DVD) – Amber seems like your usual cute twenty-something babysitter who shows up at Ted Hooper’s house to watch his son Kevin for the night. Ted Hooper: Paranormal Investigator makes sure Amber knows about him thus setting up Amber to steal him blind once he leaves. Meanwhile Kevin has a secret that he has horrible dreams that haunt him that he calls “the three”. With his so-called friend Ronald’s help they break into his father’s office and find a book that has the three figures from Kevin’s dreams and they are called “The Three Mothers”. The kids accidentally unleash an evil they are unprepared for as Amber’s incompetent friends or accomplices fool around when they should be stealing everything. Now trapped in the house Amber and Kevin find out they have a bond while everyone that is in both of their lives except the dumb neighbor who knows everything about witches is a piece of shit. This bond helps Amber and Kevin get through the night. If you like stuff like ‘Satanic Panic’ and ‘We Summon the Darkness’ you should enjoy this for what it is as I give it 3 stars.

 

Bloodbath at the House of Death (DVD) – A British spoof of horror films that stars Vincent Price as a leader of a satanic cult. One night in 1975 18 people were murdered, ten years later two scientists are heading out to Headstone Manor to investigate what exactly happened. Once there weird things keep happening to the scientists and others who are staying there. Meanwhile Vincent Price and his cult followers are concerned since Satan is supposed to arrive that evening so they choose to kill everyone there. The film sports a very dry humor so this can be a hit or  miss for horror fans but I gotta say I laughed my ass off at the scene where a woman has her head cut off with a can opener and the parody of ‘Carrie’ was fun as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

B-Movie: The Shooting of “Farmhouse Massacre” (DVD) – A 2002 mockumentary about two independent filmmakers making a low budget film called, ‘Farmhouse Massacre’. Vito and Marcus are two young men who believed they were making the best B-horror flick ever. Vito is all about making ‘massacre’ videos while Marcus is all about producing the film. The film has someone interviewing Vito and Marcus throughout the film to talk about all the events that led up to the film being made, the cuts they had to make, dealing with actors, girls not doing nudity, etc., including the lack of script they are working with. It’s a fun little film that made me laugh a couple times and has some fun appearances from actors: Debbie Rochon, Suzi Lorraine, and Jasi Cotton Lanier. The mockumentary has its moments but the best mockumentary I have seen to date is Justin Channell’s ‘Winners Tape All: The Henderson Brothers Story’ as I give this film 2 ½ stars. If interested the DVD is still in print and can be purchased through Amazon.

Exit 101: Halloween Party Massacre (DVD) – In 1969 a couple scientists come up with a formula that turns humans into zombies but not wanting it to get out they hide it in a rocket. Present Day 2011, the rocket was never launched and sits in this small southern town where some college friends are hanging out near it. A prank played by a young man name Caleb has him drink the secret formula that wasn’t supposed to be something else to prank his buddy. Certain changes happen to Caleb quickly causing him hunger and he feasts on the pizza guy which then causes the zombie infestation to spread. Weird thing is Caleb only drank the formula so he isn’t full-zombie. But he can cause problems as his blood lust increases. But the bigger focus is who is going to the big Halloween party, zombie problem or not? The film had locations, some funds behind it, heart, but not sure they really had a full script as it really felt like it could have been split into two different films especially again a very long running time (110 minutes) was making it drag along. No matter what I was glad I got to track this one down as I give it 2 stars.

 

Monster Hunter (DVD) – Milla Jovovich is the head of a Special Forces team that is out looking for Bravo Team in the desert. They find tracks but they disappear at these strange stones. A storm comes by and throws the team into a different dimension/the new world. Unsure of where they are they are quickly attacked by a large horned creature that lives beneath the sand. If that wasn’t enough the team must fight giant spiders that live underground. Only with the help of Tony Jaa is Captain Artemis (Milla) able to escape and become a prisoner (think Enemy Mine). The two lost in this New World finally are found by a pirate played by Ron Perlman and the only way back home is fighting a dragon that is almost impossible to kill and destroy the Sky Tower. Supposedly this Sky Tower thingy is causing a rip between worlds and needs to be shutdown. This fantasy film doesn’t fake what it is an entertaining monster film for cosplayers and people that like the newer Godzilla films. An action-filled popcorn film that won’t make you overthink the plot as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Victorville Massacre (DVD) – A group of friends head to Victorville for a Labor Day party weekend completely ignoring the knowledge that the small town has had a dozen murders in the past couple of weeks… Yep, let’s party! The friends show up at a house that was bought cheap because of the murders and want to why they are all now being stalked in the home by a masked killer. I give filmmaker Riley Wood kudos for trying to give the bloated Indy slasher genre a twist but he wrote one too many twists in the script that causes it to be a little confusing and one twist too many as I give the film 2 stars.

 

Small Town Massacre (DVD) – The 1981 film is also known as ‘Strange Behavior’ but it might be best known as ‘Dead Kids’. Pete is having trouble convincing his father about college and really wants to go to Galesburg College. So when he has a chance to make extra money there through his friend (Jimmy Olsen) he jumps at being a part of a supposedly safe science experiment. First night he is given a pill that makes him smarter and he picks up a pretty young woman who works at the lab and goes to college there. The next session he is strapped to a table and takes a foot long needle to the eyeball and told to go kill his father all because some deranged scientist has figured out mind control. The movie is worth watching for a few laughs but of course there is much better ‘experimenting on humans’ horror films out there as I give it 2 stars. Surprised this isn’t some kind of weird public domain title but can easily be found in several formats.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #528

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Gross Movie Reviews #528

 

Blood and Flesh: The Reel Life and Ghastly Death of Al Adamson (DVD) – An absolutely great and super interesting documentary about a filmmaker who made movies out of nothing during the 60s and 70s. And when he had nothing he would begrudgingly use his own money to bring his visions to life on the big screen. Most of his films were drive-in fodder but that didn’t stop him from giving audiences what they wanted: bikers, stuntmen, bad effects, gimmicks, whatever to get the picture sold! Mr. Adamson was an Indy talent like no other and made lots of friends along the way. But Al’s life was cut short by a so-called contractor he hired to work on his home. Hell, his story has been on the ID channel. The documentary is full of funny stories about his films getting made but it also chronicles the tragic event and how it was uncovered in the end. Wonderful stuff that makes me want to track down some of this filmmaker’s films as I give the documentary 4 stars.

 

High on the Hog (DVD) – A rather different and recent film from the talented Tony Wash whose film is considered one of the last appearances of the legendry Sid Haig. His film is like a colorful grindhouse flick about reefer madness. The story has three cute farm girls rolling into town selling their product to the local drug dealers as it is straight from the farm as they say. The girls and Big Daddy are just family farmers who are trying to survive in this cruel world. Unbeknownst to the family farmers’ federal agents are investigating tainted weed after several deaths. The family becomes a suspect after a rookie agent takes the initiative to go undercover and become part of the family to bust them. But Big Daddy doesn’t want to let go of the farm unless it’s the last possible thing. The film also stars Robert Z’dar, the talented Elle Church, and Joe Estevez as the ending wasn’t an ending I thought was coming? But anyway as usual I do not deny Tony Wash’s talent as a filmmaker but this film just didn’t do it for me as I could only give it 2 stars.

 

Heatseeker (DVD) – An Albert Pyun film that begins in Vegas 2019 where a human kickboxer reigns as champion of the world where cybernetics are all the rage among fighters. After this defeat a bunch of corporations get together to have a tournament where fighters with even more cybernetics can fight to the death to be the real world champion. Human champion Chance O’Brien is lured in after his soon-to-be wife and trainer is kidnapped by a crazed corporate asshat! A fun direct-to-video film from the 90s that is worth tracking down to see acting vet Thom Matthews to get in on the action as I give it 2 1 /2 stars.

 

The Town that Loved Bigfoot (DVD) – A hilarious and perfect documentary for all about a small southern town that has embraced Bigfoot! The town is Evergreen, Alabama where a newspaper article was written there several years ago about a strange creature being seen near town and from there the legend has grown. There are interviews with locals, hunters, Bigfoot hunters and their experiences around the town. If ever interested in Bigfoot start with this film as I give it 4 stars.

 

Future Hunters (DVD) – A lovely post-apocalyptic flick of sorts that seems to has a bigger budget than it actually does. The film stars Richard Norton and Robert Patrick and it was made in the Philippines of course! A man from 2025 gains possession of the ‘spear of destiny’ and it sends him back in time 40 years at the same site where Michelle and Slade are checking out an old church. Future man Matt hands of the spear to the couple as he dies to say to them “protect it with their lives”. The couple has a chance to prevent the nuclear holocaust that destroyed and formed Matt’s world in 2025. The couple argues what should be done with the spear until bootleg Playboy Buddy Rose comes looking for it and chases them all over the world for it! This post-apocalyptic film is one of the best to come out of the Philippines compared to some of the slop I have watched over the years. Plus if that isn’t enough you do get a great scene of Robert Patrick in his Fruit of the Looms and see the tan lines! Also what helps with the film is if you are able to track down an episode of Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs that had this film on as it was perhaps the funniest episode of the bunch. Great stunts, non-stop fun, an actual script, Robert Patrick, for that I give it 3 ½ stars.

Ditch Day Massacre (DVD) – First to find this film you may have to look for it under its recently change title “Ditch Day” most likely from a distribution company picking it up? We begin with a teenage girl (Jenny) who drives home drunk from a party and gets into an accident. She causes the death of a wife and young daughter but her father covers it up because he is a respected cop. One year later the husband/father (Bill Oberst Jr.) of the deceased wants revenge and starts with kidnapping Jenny’s father and mother. Jenny knows she was in the wrong but was apparently out of the loop that she caused death during this accident and it was reported as a hit and run the cops couldn’t solve. But that doesn’t help Jenny as now there is a cold-blooded killer after her and friends as they have ditched school to have a party. Wasn’t exactly thrilled with the ending and also found myself rooting for the killer to fuck Jenny’s shit up so I am kinda of torn with this ‘massacre’ title. Either way I give it 2 ½ stars for the mere fact I will remember this flick for a while and always cool to see Bill Oberst Jr. in a cool role.

 

Massacre (DVD) – An Eye-talian flick that Lucio Fulci only produced. The film seems to be about a red-gloved killer in sunglasses but by the end of the film I felt there were three different killers? Anyway a horror movie is being filmed and murders seem to take place nearby on a regular basis and the local authorities are trying to solve them. The giallo if you wanna call this flick was harder to follow than some of giallos I have watched recently but for entertainment value it did have a bootleg Shannon Doherty, bootleg Bruce Jenner, and a bootleg Reggie Bannister. Also if you do try tracking down this ‘massacre’ title be on the lookout for English subtitles as it was hard to find this film with some as I give it 1 star.

Garden Tool Massacre (DVD) – August 23, 1990, a man of the name Charles Scavolini chosen to murder his wife. Seven years later still serving his life sentence in Glenvale Sanatorium because he was deemed insane at trial has now found a way to escape the asylum. When Charles does he heads home only to find there is someone else living in his old home. So this causes Charles to grab a mask, garden tools, and go slicing and dicing through those who occupy his residence. This UK S.O.V. release has been rarely seen until recently as SRS Cinema has released it in all its glory of nostalgic video packaging for the world to enjoy as I give this title 1 ½ stars.

 

The Cat O’Nine Tails (DVD) – A fan favorite of Dario Argento’s that has murders of people who were connected to secret research projects. A blind man and his daughter suspect something fishy and visit a reporter who reported on the murder in the train station that was declared an accident. After talking the reporter and the blind man try their best to solve the murders before they become murdered themselves! A lot of character development in this film as this film even feels longer than the usual giallo as I give it 2 stars. I am sure Argento fans will be sending me hate mail for that one but again giallos are just not in my wheelhouse but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t give it a try…

 

The Texas Frightmare Massacre (DVD) – A 2010 effort from Joe Francis who decided to make the famous convention his backdrop for his no budget film. Eugene and Lyle train to be security guards only to have their first week of being security guards to be at the hotel the weekend of Texas Frightmare Weekend. Meanwhile while the duo have their troubles of making it through training, douchebag Todd and his hot ass girl Mary (thank you for being a redhead) are forced to take Mary’s step brother Max to the convention. Let’s not forget to mention Todd and Mary have sex with a horse head on while thinking about killing off Max. But once at the convention and mistreated one too many times by Todd, Max turns the tables on the couple. After dealing with the couple to put it in desirable terms Max goes on his convention killing spree. Thus it is up to the new security guards to stop the killer. Not the best of plots (especially since ‘The Horror Convention Massacre” predates this film by three years), running time is way too long for something that could have been an entertaining 30 minutes long, but the biggest mistake is no T-shirt Joe and Fast Custom Shirts! How Joe and his shirts were not featured in this was a poor decision. I will give credit for having the hot redhead Mary and the funny Eugene and Lyle characters but if you are going to use this convention as your back drop Joe Garcia has to be the star and for that I only can give this film a ½ star.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !