Gross Movie Reviews #686

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I:Scream – A Minty Musical (Blu-ray) – This independent feature might be the surprise of 2025 that movie fans have been looking for. In Aleen Isley’s directorial debut, Charlie a young scientist must fight off their own creation. Trying to woo the love of the young scientist’s life with chocolate chip mint ice cream it is unforeseen that a janitor later would accidentally cause a spill of Charlie’s animation formula into the ice cream that was left causing a major issue? The experimental formula brings the delicious green ice cream to life to immediately eat the janitor’s arm then cause chaos nearby as it grows to eat people in its path! Charlie with friends entrust a former ice cream man, “Old Man Reggie” to steer them to a solution in defeating this mutant ice cream problem. Along the way Miss Isley’s characters break out into song about the killer ice cream making this a lighthearted horror must see. Aleen Isley used all of her behind the scenes experience of several other projects to prove it is worth taking a chance to make something memorable and entertaining for your debut. She deserves to be congratulated in what she has accomplished even with a scene stealing David Dietz as “Old Man Reggie” as I give this feature 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Weed Hacker Massacre (Tubi) – The movie can get a little confusing on what exactly is going on but the basic premise of the project is about a killer named “Pokerface”. The Indie slasher can be hilarious in certain moments as a remake of a bad horror movie is being done ten years after. Supposedly the killer Pokerface was killing cast members on set during filming. So decade later the remake is happening with someone that survived and people are dying again but it is found out the murders are being done by the family who pretty much own the town. Again an odd and a little confusing concept but at times fun as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

A Mother’s Dying Wish (DVD) – A short film from a talented filmmaker named Jason Burke available on his ‘Nostalgic Nightmare Productions Movie Collection Volume 2’ that was made for the 48 Hour Film Project. Siblings get together trying to face the fact their mother has passed away as their mother got them to this meeting with a letter. They discuss, argue, etc. but that’s when the fun begins as none of them understand until it is too late this was a part of their mother’s plan for them after death as I give the short film 4 out of 4 stars.

Amityville La Llorona (YouTube) – Welcome to entry #72 of the long running horror series that has no signs of stopping as I will always keep watching. This installment comes off funny to me as I honestly believe this film had another title but at last minute someone used the “Amityville” title to get more eyes on it in some weird way. All of the film is one location where a couple argues over a recent death and what it has done to them? During their 65 minute argument or film in this case a demon comes to visit to wreak havoc on the couple. The biggest problem with this entry was I found it boring and literally this where my theory on why this wasn’t originally an Amityville project but a project with the title slapped on it after the fact. No matter what I give this 0 out of 4 stars.

Until Dawn (Blu-ray) – Maybe one of the bigger surprises in horror for me in 2025 is this project based on a more recent video game of where Clover and friends go retracing Clover’s sister Mel’s steps one year later. After directions from a gas station attendant they come to an old ‘visitor center’ for a town that doesn’t exist anymore. The group investigates the building then quickly they all are savagely killed. They all wake up again at the place to do it again, again, again, night after night until they can find a way to survive until dawn. As the nights go on the murders become even more brutal than the night before but the group slowly picks up on the details of what can help them before it’s too late. This is all because an experiment linked to a massive mining accident twenty years before. I quite enjoyed how much fun this horror movie actually was as I give it 3 stars.

Bring Her Back (Blu-ray) – Step siblings are forced to be with a foster parent after their father died unexpectingly in the shower. Piper and Andy fight to stay together and they are given a chance with a reliable foster parent in Laura who used to work for the system. Once at their new residence Andy feels something is off as they meet another child Oliver as the kid acts very off is the best way to put it. The plan for the duo is get through the next few months where Andy will be allowed to apply for guardianship of Piper. But Laura has other plans as she sneaks around in attempt to separate the step siblings as Oliver is always the reason for the plan. As time goes on all involved understand Ollie cannot be controlled any longer and the step siblings figure out they are part of some dark ritual of moving a soul. This slow burn of a horror film isn’t perfect but enjoyable as it presents the lengths of a mother will go to bring her daughter back to life as I give this project 3 stars.

Return of the Corn Zombies (Tubi) – The sequel to mid-west zombie outbreak film is here and once again casted with some very talented Indie folk. The outbreak is not slowing as this project follows a band of survivors traveling across the country looking for a so-called “Paradise”? They want somewhere they do not have to run from or fight for their lives daily. Along the way they meet a young lady who believes they can find what they might be looking for at “Homestead” or their paradise after a long trek to what they thought was safe but was no longer. When they arrive in this safe place they find it to be weird, peaceful, but a little secretive. This farming community has its reasons to be secretive as nothing is what it seems as this family running Homestead have found a way to survive and do not like outsiders as they believe only in family. The film has a great cast again, the film’s beginning is just absolutely fun with its ‘Day of the Dead’ vibe and music, and I quite enjoyed they just didn’t decide to do the same movie all over again. Don’t sleep on this independent zombie project and go support it as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Addy and Andy (Blu-ray) – A no budget 12 episode show from Addison Binek and Andrew Hansom about two young men living together and what antics they get themselves into. Think of an unfiltered but professionally shot sitcom or long skit of two dudes in their early twenties trying to figure out life but mostly like to entertain themselves when together. Some of my laugh out loud episodes involve the movie CHUD, the duo trying not to let the other see they are drinking, The Del Taco episode, and the vampire of course. All the episodes are hilarious but had to point those out as I believe this creation comes off natural and wouldn’t be surprised two young dudes with no camera and living together would be doing these things? I know I would have and for that I am delighted to give this must see project 4 out of 4 stars. What is even better is the episodes are an average of less than ten minutes making it an easy watch but more importantly easy for rewatches on a regular basis.

Amityville Chupacabra (YouTube) – So for entry #73 a team of scientists has captured a mysterious creature/Cryptid for experimentation at the Amityville Labs. Unsure where their experiments should go next because of the creature’s unrest the creature finds a way to escape and begins hunting down people in the labs. Reinforcements are called in to recapture the creature but the scientists understand they are now very expendable because of the escape the project is going to be taken over. I like this concept for a cheesy monster movie entry into the Amityville series but felt a different location and just more blood because it is a cheesy monster concept would have helped this entry as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Zombies (YouTube) – Moving on to entry #74 without warning this one is an anthology of Amityville zombie films in various lengths. Shawn Phillips who has made several entries has found an unmarked video tape at a thrift store and while watching the tape changes him into a zombie. On the tape is these projects hosted by the lovely and talented Dr. Boobenstein aka Rebecca Rinehart. All the films long or short take place around the New York area. First half of the film is a very serious zombie segment called ‘District Dead’ about a YouTuber witnessing a zombie outbreak and six months later he is recording what is left. In the middle are a couple non-serious zombie shorts then the second half is made up of two brothers surviving the zombie onslaught in the New York area? It is a different concept but what hurts it is the first film ‘District Dead’ runs about 37 minutes or so and literally could have stood on its own. This project sets the tone of the anthology and the segments that follow it just don’t fit with it in my opinion. This attempt isn’t a bad idea by any means the anthology just feels like oil and water and believe something else other than ‘District Dead’ would have been a better fit for the better of the anthology. ‘District Dead’ is something that should have been released on its own for the benefit of both projects as I give this entry 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2025 is two weeks away my friends

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GUESTS:

Mark Polonia

Jeff Kirkendall

Jamie Morgan

Tim Hatch

Jessa Flux

Mel Heflin

Phil Herman

Steve Rudzinski

Aleen Isley

Morrigan Thompson-Milam

The official Grossfest tattoo artist and all around coolest horror movie fan ever to exist Angel O’Connor!

Special guest – Jason Burke

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

Tickets for admission: $10 for one day or $15 for both days.

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

(Again no one under 18 will be allowed to get a tattoo so please don’t ask. Also you will need a Grossfest wristband in order to make your appointment with Angel the tattoo artist.)

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

Here is the vendor list:

Nene’s Soaps

Nekroshark Films

Burghbrats Krafty Kreations

Melissa Sapienza-Garrett

Classy Crows

Lowell Squires

Sam Hice Art

Ultra Violent

Matthew W. Parmenter

Cheevies Film Productions

Chase Will

Nomad Comics

MMH Productions

Kiss of Death Productions

RJR Craft Labs

13 Occult

Secondhand Spooky

Video Nasty Productions

Clifton Taylor

Celebration of Spirits

1282 Productions

Loretta Lynn Chambers

Steve Livengood

Static Talent/Matt Chasin/Michael Coulombe

Dandylinn

Dazed N Disorderly

Drunken Yinzers Productions

JAB Productions

Chanda Rawlings

Tabatha Rader

Gross Movie Reviews #672

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Operation Undead (Amazon) – A Thai zombie flick without it being called a zombie film that is set in a fictional story set during true events of World War II. The Japanese army is advancing their way into China and India and wants to find an island where they can use their new experimental biological weapon. The Japanese government and Thai governments meet for peaceful negotiations to allow the Japanese army travel through but the experiment has already landed at an island and it is ravaging the island quickly as police and military assess the damage. Now with the Fumetsu virus out there the Japanese scientists want live specimens for further experimentation but that is being hindered by how quickly the virus is spreading among the islanders. The virus turns the victims into cannibals who can of course infect others but is allowing them to still have brain function to think and see who is human and non-human. The Japanese convince Thai officials they must act quickly to contain this virus. A fun twist for horror fans in this genre to decide if it’s a true zombie flick but also entertaining and enjoyable for the back drop the story is set in as I give the film 3 stars.

What Scares You (DVD-R) – All around talented individual Jason Burke’s latest short film comes off as a bootleg early Nick at Nite one-off from the early 90s that has four friends checking out an old house as they plan to stay the night? The friends challenge each other to speak about “what scares them” along with some tense conversation unknowingly that their fears are about to haunt them. One by one the friends die from what they fear most but before you make judgment on what appears to be hey “I have seen this several times before”, the evil twist is what makes for some scary fun to enjoy as I give the Mr. Burke’s latest 3 out of 4 stars.

Violent Streets (DVD-R) – Another not released yet feature from Indy filmmaker Brad Sykes has unearthed another exciting project he made around 1994! This ambitious project isn’t so much a horror movie as its gang picture on no budget in the vein of 70s and 80s high school gang films. There are two small gangs who were friends at one point but now see things differently as they constantly battle for the upper hand on the other. It becomes personal when one of the battles between Orin and Kane is over a young woman Sara to see who gets to have her for their prize. But Sara isn’t having any of it even though her pals think she is just getting herself in more trouble of not going along with it. Now Orin and Sara must be on the run as this gang war is about to turn deadly. For no budget this was a very ambitious project but Sykes makes up with its gritty SOV style that gives the content a certain charm as the heart of the actors just going for it take after take makes for a very watchable piece of cinema that I give 3 out of 4 stars.

Version 1.0.0

Killer Kabbage (DVD) – In a not so serious futuristic film with a hilarious concept has scientists in present day 2024 trying to solve the world’s food crisis with experiments on veggies, mostly cabbages! But 200 years in the future the world is a wasteland where a duo of Cage and Gibson look to survive by hunting killer veggies until they are approached by a government droid. The droid instructs the duo to head to a secret location as they are recruited as mankind’s last hope because of radioactivity reasons! The mission is to time travel to 2024, find the original experimental cabbage, and bring back a sample that started this apocalyptic war between killer cabbages and humans. Once the duo time travels and adjusts to present day of 2024 the fight is on as there is limited time before the war begins as they quickly find out the experiments are already out of control! This feels like a lost project from the early 90s from J.R. Bookwalter or the Polonia Brothers with a ‘Bad CGI Sharks’ vibe to it and I absolutely freakin loved it! Don’t be surprised if this pops up on my “Best of 2025 list” as this Indy feature had me laughing out loud several times as I give it 4 out of 4 stars as you had me at Killer Kabbage.

The Psychic (Tubi) – The 1977 Lucio Fulci film is also known as ‘Seven Notes in Black’ as this was a first time watch for me of Fulci’s early work. A young woman Virginia had a vision of her mother committing suicide at a young age and now has had a vision of a woman murdered then buried in the wall of a home. Virginia goes to see her therapist also ex-dude to speak of it being something more but it’s her ex-dude. Problem the home happens to be her new hubby’s house and the cops arrest him on suspicion. Virginia complains to the authorities that there gotta be more to this so she takes to doing her own snooping and heads down a rabbit hole of trying to prove her hubby’s innocence. As Virginia gets deeper in the rabbit hole she begins to have more visions that come true leader her to the killer. For me this piece of Fulci work had more filler than killer but sure there is fans of this project as I give it 2 stars.

City of the Dead (Shudder) – A young college girl in Nan Barlow heads to Whitewood, Mass, to research witchcraft on the advice of her professor (Christopher Lee) so she can turn in a great term paper. Nan’s interest is peaked once she enters this hard to find village and believes she needs to dig into the past immediately. The history of the village is they burned a witch at the stake who cursed all there and Nan is warned to leave quickly by the local priest as he claims evil owns the village and has for hundreds of years. Not long after that Nan goes missing without her professor being too upset by it but her boyfriend and brother soon try to turn the village upside down looking for Nan as the witches are not happy as they may ruin their ritual. Might not be the best of the witch horror films but it is intriguing with Christopher Lee playing the professor who seems to know all that is going on as I give the film 2 stars.

The Temptress (DVD) – An early film project from a young Jeff Kirkendall at the time in 2000-2002 that also includes a short film ‘3 to Murder’ that is a prequel but we will get to that in a bit. The story is about three women who are vampires trying to live life quietly among humans until Angelique shows up demanding the presence of her “first one” Rachel. Angelique and her minions refuse to allow the three to live their undead loves peacefully as she has never gotten over Rachel for not believing in her vamp ways. The project is definitely very rough around the edges and a product of the time in independent cinema at that time but it’s clear you can see Jeff Kirkendall and Tim Hatch were going to be building a relationship in films for a long time coming. Plus the short film (40 minutes) ‘3 to Murder’, the prequel sheds a lot more light on the  story in ‘The Temptress’ that includes a deleted scene that answered a big question for me after watching both. I am gonna guess reasoning behind the short film and the feature is: one, wanted to see if they can do it with what they had? Second, might be Jeff might have made an executive decision that if kept the short and feature together they would be too long and viewers would tune out? Third, breaking them up Charles Band style for more content?  No matter what it is an always fun finding an early project from Indy filmmakers you respect and see where or how far they have come as I give ‘The Temptress’ 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2025 – August 1st & 2nd

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(We wanna thank ahead of time the great guests, the awesome vendors, and of course the people that will attend, thank yinz all for making this happen and supporting Independent horror)

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this group link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

Tickets for admission: $10 for one day or $15 for both days at the door. (Yes we are lazy n’at)

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

(Again no one under 18 will be allowed to get a tattoo so please don’t ask. Also you will need a Grossfest wristband in order to make your appointment with Angel the tattoo artist.)

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

For show info: http://www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.

(Complete Vendor list is coming and yes we are sold out)

(Movie list is coming along and will be posted July 4th weekend)

Yes, there will be a band “13 Occult” playing 7pm on back patio on Saturday after Grossfest 2025 closes! https://www.facebook.com/13occultMusic

Grossfest 2025 guest list:

The Mummy and The Monkey (Saturday only)

Mark Polonia

Jeff Kirkendall

Jamie Morgan

Tim Hatch

Jessa Flux

Mel Heflin

Phil Herman

Steve Rudzinski

Aleen Isley

Morrigan Thompson-Milam

The official Grossfest tattoo artist and all around coolest horror movie fan ever to exist Angel O’Connor!

Special guest – Jason Burke

Getting to know your Grossfest 2025 special guest!

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Getting to know your special Grossfest 2025 guest!

This announcement should come as no surprise as this person has been one of the biggest supporters of Grossfest but also they are a local (Pittsburgh) talent with an exceptional personality that just stands out like non one you ever met. They are not just a triple threat but a whole lot more as they are a writer, actor, and director, you name it this person has done it or about to accomplish it. We at Grossfest would like to introduce yinz all to the wonderful, the handsome and always smiling… Jason Burke! Go check Jason’s work out:

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm9266201/…

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

For show info: http://www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.

Vendor tables are $100 each and come with two passes contact grossfest@gmail.com for vendor application and how to pay.

Now for a special guest announcement for Grossfest 2025!

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This announcement should come as no surprise as this person has been one of our biggest supporters of Grossfest but also they are a local (Pittsburgh) talent with an exceptional personality that just stands out. They are not just a triple threat but a whole lot more as they are a writer, actor, and director, you name it this person has done it. We at Grossfest would like to introduce yinz all to the wonderful and always smiling Jason Burke!

Okay Grossfest fans we got the date, the hotel, the guests, and we will have the vendors so mark your calendars!

The Mummy and The Monkey

Mark Polonia

Jeff Kirkendall

Tim Hatch

Jessa Flux

Mel Heflin

Phil Herman

Steve Rudzinski

The official Grossfest tattoo artist and all around coolest horror movie fan ever to exist Angel O’Connor!

Special guest – Jason Burke

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

Tickets: $10 for one day. $15 for both days.

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

(Again no one under 18 will be allowed to get a tattoo so please don’t ask. Also you will need a Grossfest wristband in order to make your appointment with Angel the tattoo artist.)

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

Contact us with questions or vendor application questions at grossfest@gmail.com

For show info: www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.Vendor tables are $100 each and come with two passes contact grossfest@gmail.com .  

Are you going to be at Grossfest August 2 & 3, 2024?

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Yinz excited for Grossfest 2024 yet?! We are only weeks away so we hope yinz got your hotel reservations set, your vacation days in at work, and ready to have some independent cinema fun as we have stated before: We got the guests! We got the vendors! Now we just need yinz to show up at the door to buy a ticket for one or both days n’at! So see yinz in a few weeks in August!

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

Need to reserve a room: Hotel link to reserve a room for Grossfest 2024! https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/ET81E2 or call (412) 244-1600

Tickets: $10 at the door for one day or $15 for both days (must have paid admission at the door to get into Grossfest 2024 and also get a tattoo from the great Angel O’Connor). NO EXCEPTIONS!

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

Friday 4-10pm

Saturday 11-7pm

Grossfest 2024 guests

Sean Donohue and Sushii Xhyvette Holder

Roni Jonah and Jason Crowe

Kelsey Livengood

Matt Cannon… also appearing with Matt is Victor Butler who was the detective in Hexercise. 

Jorge Delarosa

Nathan Rumler

Rebecca Rinehart

Also Special guests

Dave Castiglione

Steve Rudzinski

Jennifer Nangle

Also let’s not forget ultra-talented, super horror movie fan, tattoo artist Angel O’Connor who will be doing tattoos at Grossfest both days!

Vendor list:

Neko Shark Films

Minerva Trinkets

Neens Soaps

Kiss of Death Productions

Scream Team Releasing

Addison Binek – Psycho Ape

Horror Movie Heaven

Barry the Movie Demon

Cluck Cluck Productions

Celebration of Spirits

13 Occult

Studio Arata

Video Nasty Productions

The Odd End

MMH Productions

Ultra Violent Magazine

Nostalgic Nightmare Productions

Once Upon a Killer

Mike Ancas

Fairly Dark Productions

BPO Films

Burgh Brats Krafty Kreations

Melissa Spezia

Josh Graves – Late Checkout

Drunken Yinzers Productions

Dazed and Disorderly

Vicious Creations

Cindys Creative Chaos

Fast Custom Shirts

Gross Movie Reviews #640

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Crocodile (Blu-ray) – For the first time this Taiwan/Korea production from 1978/1979/1981 aka Crocodile Fangs (watch the extras and read about it at www.synapsefilms.com you will totally understand) has been released in special edition Blu-ray form. Apparently there was several editions released even with a different director’s name in the credits but this the U.S. version restored. You can check out some alternate and deleted scenes in the extras after. Anyway, after a horrible storm and some atomic blasts this causes a crocodile to come hunting for humans! Two doctors and their families are on vacation and become victims to the ever growing mutation of a crocodile. These two doctors being very distraught resign their jobs and begin doing research on crocodiles and why would a giant one eat their families? While those two do that the giant crocodile feeds every three days on the next village downstream destroying all in its path. After getting the bad ass local fisherman involved the second half of the movie literally becomes almost a scene for scene of ‘Jaws’ exception for the leaping giant crocodile that had me laughing for a good five minutes. This flick is some wonderful international B-movie cheese but the real treat is the extras: besides the commentary from a writer and film historian along with the several different openings and endings that are alternate or deleted scenes that may have not been seen by U.S. audiences? My favorite extra has to be the interview with Won-se Lee! The real director as his interview is around 35 minutes and gets into him not actually knowing his name wasn’t in the credits (Sompote Sands by the way), or how hard it was doing a Thai/Korean production, or how much the film has fans outside of his country? This interview alone is entertaining, interesting and worth the price of the Blu-ray edition of the film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapsefilms.com .

Living to Die (VHS/YouTube) – This is a fun B-grade blackmail detective flick starring none other than Wings Hauser as Nick the burned out former detective who is brought in by a high roller in Vegas to check out who is trying to blackmail him? Nick tracks down a sleazy dude in Arnold Vosloo named Jimmy that came up with a scam. Problem when Nick is visiting Jimmy, Jimmy is shot to death in front of Nick and now has a whole host of other questions? Every time Nick gets close to some solution the person he visits is getting killed including eventually himself. Justifiable fun crap to watch when you are indecisive about what to watch on a rainy day as I give it 2 ½ stars.

A Soul’s Window (DVD) – Jason Burke’s latest short film tackles the story of Grant Herman. A man who awakens to a few familiar people in front of him with a death wound to the temple of his head. Mr. Herman is forced to hear out these people how he has harmed them in some way all because he is a bad “business man”. Burke’s writing and set up is brilliant for this project as I have written something similar but have never brave enough to bring it to film so I gotta respect the awesome job he did bringing this to life as I give this short film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Just Before Dawn (DVD) – A 1981 fun slasher set in the mountains that follow a group of young people who are heading for some camping and checking out the land one of them own. Within minutes the city folk are stopped and warned by the forest ranger (George Kennedy) “the mountain doesn’t read”! Once settled the group explores the wonderful mountains, waterfalls, etc., including running into a backwoods family that isn’t too keen on them hanging out there. When they meet this family it’s about halfway through the movie and then the film takes a real gritty screwed up tone as the group is stalked by ruthless backwoods twins who stalk and kill them one by one. Will the group survive long enough to make it off the mountain or will the secret survive of why people have disappeared over the years in these woods? To this day the film is still entertaining as hell, well worth a rewatch, and has an ending you maybe have never seen or see coming as I give it 3 stars.

Rat Disaster (YouTube) – You had me at rats attacking people so I took a chance and checked out this killer rat flick from China filmed back in 2022 where rats carrying an unknown virus have made their way on a train. Once the train gets rolling the rats begin to wonder they are agitated and fall from the ceiling of a boxcar to start biting all humans. After several innocent people are sacrificed what’s left of the people on the train must decide if they can make it to a nearby town for a cure that just came into a hospital and make it back before nightfall. The rats hate sunlight. There is just a wonderful scene that reminds you of ‘Day of the Dead’ when they make it to the town and see the rats have killed everyone as they are stacked up in the streets, cool rat killing stuff! Best way to describe this is that it is a combo of  ‘Train to Busan’ and ‘World War Z’ with rats as I give this cheesy and dramatic entertainment 2 ½ stars.

Dreams of the Dead (DVD) – Many moons ago (1994) a young Brad Sykes made a SOV horror film in Virginia but never released it, now it is soon to be. This bold and interesting horror vision introduces us to a young man named Adrian who begins to get letters to his home for a past resident who suddenly disappeared? The letters are all addressed to an Edgar Kim and this fascinates Adrian to the point of distracting him away from finishing a movie script with his friend. As Adrian slowly dwells on the mystery of Edgar Kim he begins to have visions of a beautiful woman who he doesn’t know but does know she is connected to Edgar in some way. Adrian refuses to let this go as it sucks him in deeper. Also let’s note I quite enjoyed the scene with Adrian looking up Edgar in the yellow pages oh those were the days in 1994. Without giving up the brilliant ending Brad’s film comes off more like a psychological thriller than a straight up horror film? I don’t know if Mr. Sykes pulled off exactly what he wanted but this movie has kind of a ‘Sledgehammer’ vibe that I believe will have SOV fans screaming to preorder this immediately as I give this project Mr. Sykes should be proud of 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Don’t go in the Woods (DVD) – It is 1981 and some people are going missing in the same part of a small town wilderness where a group of four people have just shown up to go camping. After about 30 minutes of everyone else being killed off by a crazed mountain man the group trips over the cabin this crazed individual is staying at. From there in this terrible form of ‘Just before Dawn’ the four are just trying to survive long enough to get off the mountain as I give the film 2 stars.

The Blue Hole (DVD) – Dave Castiglione returns to the director’s chair some 17 years after his last directed film even though he has kept himself busy with acting roles. Rounding out his cast with some familiar Indy vets Dave puts together a mystery horror film of sorts that begins in Pine Barrens, New Jersey aka The Pines aka Pinelands June 1997 where a masked man stalks two women at their pool and kills them. This leads into a reporter being sent to the area 24 years later to interview a former police chief of the area and connect truth to folklore hopefully? Bree is not exactly happy with this latest gig because she has been passed over for managing editor but once there she becomes fully engrossed with the chief and her cameraman as she tries to connect several events of missing persons that this former police chief still wrestles with into retirement! As they go through all the strange things over the years Bree soon finds herself in possible trouble with ‘the blue hole’ legend? The film feels like a lost episode of a long canceled sci-fi TV series of the early 90s which will quickly find and entertain an audience for sure as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

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Gross Movie Reviews “Best of 2023” list

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Before we start I always explain I wish I could watch every new flick out there but that is just not in the cards for me. Now I will still get one or two comments of movies I left off or didn’t get to see this year? Hey, it happens but I bet you I have seen dozens or few on my list that you may have not knew existed so remember like all movie lists take this with a grain of salt people.

1) Then My Mind Walked Away (DVD) – One of my favorite Indy filmmakers of all time Jim Roberts has a new project coming to haunt fans as he introduces us to Logan Hill. Filming during COVID, Jim took full advantage of not much crew, not much cast, and the world changing. In the first couple tense minutes the dark tone of the film is set as Logan beats to death his girlfriend and the man she was cheating on him with in bed with a baseball bat. Logan now forced to get rid of the bodies is also quickly faced with visions of horror after the fact. He is soon haunted constantly by a dark figure and visions of himself killing himself constantly. As time passes Logan is going nuts as the young man’s visions get more vivid and real. But when Logan thinks he has completely lost his mind he is shocked by a secret from his family’s past! Trying not to spoil this intense and beautiful film of Jim Roberts, but anyway how to explain it as gore and Jim have gone hand and hand since the beginning. This film has the gore but Jim doing a 180 has only made it a set piece in this feature as this talented bastard may have made the most complete film of his career! And that is coming from someone who absolutely loved “Welcome to Deer Creek” and “Tonight You Die”. This project felt like Jim got out of his comfort zone (now I could be wrong of course, lol), kept it simple, and made something that will surprise Indy fans as this is possibly the best Indy film that I will watch in 2023 (there is a couple releases yet coming). It was a serious film from beginning to end! Everything about this film with the help of Karen Roberts, Jorge Delarosa, and bare bones crew should be proud as the look of this film was beautiful, the natural sounds outside of the music caught in the background, and bare bones cast all played a role in making this wonderful. If I need to say anything else that will make you the movie viewer drool over or run to get this once available as I have a saying about filmmaking: “I am not a filmmaker that would be insulting to actual talented filmmakers, I just know where the record button is…” In this case Jim Roberts is truly one of those talented bastards as I give this movie 4 out of 4 stars!

2) When Evil Lurks (Shudder) – This is a horror film about possession of sorts that just works from beginning to end as it snatches you and keeps you at your edge to the very end. Two brothers check in on a fellow and his family living on some farm land. They come to find a corpse on the land which leads them to this check in. What the brothers find is a disgusting thing that use to be human in bed called a “rotten” or a possessed individual. A professional or “cleaner” was coming to take care of it but that is the corpse the brothers found. Owner (Ruiz) of the land is told by the brothers and next thing they know they are trying to move the “rotten” far from them. This only causes a bigger problem as the thing falls out of the truck and hell comes to the community immediately. There is a set of rules about this kind of demon, there is a bootleg Hugh Jackman, a dog that just snatches a child up by their head, and the movie is SUPER GROSS… count me in as I gotta give this film 4 stars as it is one of the better horror films of 2023.

3) Showdown at the Grand (On Demand) – The Grand theater is one of the longest running theaters in the southwest United States. It has been running since 1928 and has been in George’s family for quite some time as George (Terrence Howard) has made it museum also. This was the theater for exploitation flicks, horror movies, B-movies, everything outside of the norm to be cherished and thrive but its rich history of playing these films is in doubt. George is being pressured by a couple of shady characters to sell the place for future development of high priced apartments and luxury stores. But George’s saving grace might be bringing in an actor he idolizes in Claude Luc Hallyday (Dolph Lundgren) a down on his luck movie star from such films: Iraqnphobia, Moses vs. The Nazis, Blood is for the Living, Necropolis, and Cyber Cartel) who is ready to make a comeback? George’s plan works as he gets a sold out house for the Claude Luc Hallyday event but corporate greed is about to ruin George’s plan as this movie has heart and will make you smile if you are a true movie nerd. Think a splash of ‘Matinee’ mixed with a heavy dose of the Grindhouse trailers of 15 years ago with the state of affairs and pressure the few independent theaters left now have to deal with. I absolutely loved this film and most likely this will be in my “Top 5 movies of 2023” as I give this beautiful film we call art 4 stars.

4) Cocaine Bear (Theater) – The ‘Sharknado’ film of 2023 for us film nerds as this film is very loosely based on drugs found in the mountains of Kentucky and Georgia 1985. A black bear just happens to find the bags of cocaine and likes it! Now add in a couple of drug dealers looking for their stuff, a couple missing kids, a not so smart cop, and a bear high on cocaine looking to slaughter any human that gets in the way of it and its new thing “Cocaine”. This movie was beyond entertaining and most likely will make a lot people’s “Top Ten lists” as they made sure every five minutes the bear is snorting or eating cocaine or characters are talking about the bear on cocaine as I give this brilliance 4 stars.

5) I’m Dreaming of a White Doomsday (Blu-ray) – It took me awhile of watching this Indy flick as its a few years old but believe me it will still pack a wallop. The beginning dream sequence is a wonderful and bleak intro to setting up the difficult tone of this post-apocalyptic holiday film that just immediately sucks you in. Kelly and her son Riley are living in a bomb shelter where dad has ventured out into the new cruel desolate and damaged world with possibly no return. One day Kelly ventures out herself just to see if there is any sign of things getting better outside of the shelter? Her findings force her into making a decision about herself and Riley since the end of the world is quickly closing in on them. Without spoiling too much the film is brilliantly shot giving an absolute gloomy, depressing, and utter no hope feel and look. Writer/director Mike Lombardo does a perfect job of not just giving us a terrible new world but giving us an absolutely beautiful unHollywood ending that made me giddy as I give the film 4 out of 4 stars.

6) Renfield (On Demand) – Nic Cage as Dracula and Nicholas Hoult as Renfield oh I was in for this from day one when the trailer hit. But instead of just telling another story directly about Dracula this story is from the point of view of Renfield in present day and his struggles with serving his master. Times have changed and it’s much tougher for Renfield to navigate today’s society let alone having his own doubts about what he is doing so he joins a support group. After the crazy opening of this film as Renfield narrates it is one laugh after another because the chaos Renfield deals with along with making a new friend by accident. While Renfield isn’t at his support group wanting out of his toxic relationship with his boss, Renfield is helping his new cop friend Quincy a loud mouth cop trying to bring down a crime family. The film is hilariously over the top but at the same time super entertaining as Nic Cage just eats up the chance of playing Dracula. For me at least I found myself admiring what Nic Cage did as I haven’t seen quite a performance like this since Vincent Price in the original “House on Haunted Hill” or more recent decades Rutger Hauer in “Split Second”. This bloody good time has much rewatch ability and feel this will become a horror staple around Halloween for horror fans who want to lighten up the mood as I can’t help but give this terrific film 4 stars.

7) 10/31 Part III (Blu-ray) – Rocky Gray and a collection of other filmmakers are back to add to their anthology series that has become popular among independent horror fans. This anthology is a monster marathon hosted by Malvolia and has fake trailers with four tales of Halloween horror from Michael Ballif, Brad Twigg, Jacob Perrett, and Zane Hershberger. Now full disclosure yinz all know I seen Zane’s “Hack-in-the-box” last year and thought it was one of the best things I seen in 2022. So the other three had a lot to live up to and they did not disappoint. I am a huge fan of 10/31 series but always felt something was missing from the first two entries to make them complete if that makes sense? Well I can honestly say for me they got it right with this entry as all four stories fit together, fun to watch, and feels like this anthology is the best of the series and most likely will be one of my favorite films of 2023 as I give this entry 4 out of 4 stars. (P.S. the mummy entry made me have wonderful memories of the “Tales from the Darkside: The Movie” again so thank you).

8) V/H/S 85 (Shudder) – The popular found footage anthology is back and just as strong. They have perfected the formula that others fail constantly at I think there might be only one in the series I wasn’t a huge fan of? This one immediately opens with random stuff that just tugs at my childhood where a tape goes into the VCR and boom… truck and tractor pull in an arena and the tracking needs adjusting, fun shit! First up is a story of young people on a camping trip not doing anyone any harm until a sniper kills all of them? What happens next sets up things for the rest of the film (without giving too much away)? Second up is a rescue for survivors in a building that houses a popular network TV crew in Mexico after being hit by an earthquake. Lots of blood, characters you find interesting, and a monster of sorts that doesn’t disappoint. Third up might be the weak link if I am going to pick one (almost all anthologies have one) where a woman doing a one-person play or art in a public theater on the threat of evolving technology as it’s the new god. Fourth story continues the storyline of the first with the campers but with the sniper and why? Fifth story is about a detective who receives video tapes of horrible murders that he watches before they happen. With some research and good detective work he finds out they are coming from a teenager but not the usual way you think as it has a nice twist to it. All that fun with a cool wraparound of “Total Copy” or if you are old like me like that “Hard Copy” show among others during the 80s. This might be one of the best wraparounds to an anthology to date as I thought hard about this but I have to give the film 4 stars folks.

9) CarousH3ll (YouTube/DVD/Blu-ray) – The third entry into Steve Rudzinski’s wildly popular series “CarousHell” with the help of co-writer and ultra-talented Aleen Isley give us the next evolving chapter of Duke’s adventures. In case you haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying the past two Indy treasures: Duke is a terrifying killer carousel horse who has come to life to kill humans, had a child/puppet horse named Robbie, and has turned good in order to track down others like him that may want to use their evil powers to kill both of them. Okay that is a mouth full to take in but now we are caught up without giving too many spoilers away Duke has a new enemy in Usagi: a chocolate carousel bunny that wants to kill Duke  in order to steal his power to become the god she deserves to be. If that wasn’t enough Joe ‘the pizza man looking for his $42.39’ is back in a big way and seeking revenge even if he has only one eye. But Joe has found a new group of friends that want to protect Duke and Robbie from the evil Usagi which leaves Joe very conflicted. Of course along the way there is characters from the past that show up and we get introduced to a couple new intriguing characters as Steve and Aleen made sure ‘CarousHell’ fans get all the over the top carousel sex and violence you could want in your independent movie. This wonderfully entertaining sequel wastes no time jumping into the storyline getting the ‘CarousHell’ taste buds wet but for me it felt a little slow but they made me adjust on the run with this project as I think so highly of the first two films. As I said in the past Steve gave me “House of a 1000 Corpses” and then gave me the “The Devil’s Rejects” which was the best way to explain how I feel about the first two CarousHell films. Now both Steve and Aleen understanding it is virtually impossible to top those last two films went about their business quickly and smartly by not giving us “3 from Hell”. But embracing and understanding the story arc they have built over the past two films as they ran with the insanity and gave us an absolute surprisingly brilliant third entry that gives fans a perfect ending (maybe?). Seriously the cast, the music, the perfect running time of 68 minutes is great but the stand out of this latest entry might be the script from Steve and Aleen and their attention to detail and understanding of the fans of ‘CarousHell’. The writing of this film for me at least is their best work to date and have cemented them in making one of the best independent horror franchises a movie fan could ever watch as I give this enormously humor filled film 4 out of 4 stars. P.S. this film just shows these two are an extremely talented duo to be highly respected  in the independent world but also should make many other filmmakers scream for them to be a part of their next project!

10) The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster (Shudder) – Simply you can call it “Black Re-Animator” (and you are now curious)! A young woman who has lost her brother recently to gun violence believes death is not the end? She believes if death is a disease then she can find the cure? Vicaria or “The Mad Scientist” she is nicknamed in the neighborhood will stop at nothing in making this work which includes stealing fresh bodies and storing them with her equipment in a condemned building. Between society, her home setting, and the loss of her brother this makes her withdraw from life more and more to find the answer or cure to death (sound familiar?) Vicaria figures it out and brings her brother Chris back to life but it comes at a terrible price or does it… A wonderful blend of horror, today’s world problems, and how the world is seen through a young lady who is angry for good reason and firmly believes death can be cured as I give this movie 4 stars.

Honorable mentions:

Every year I like putting out there some of the ones that came close but didn’t crack the “top ten”. Some are new filmmakers I have just discovered, certain projects I didn’t have a chance to check out maybe when originally released, or a project I felt very highly about but no one is talking about it so here they go.

Gay for Pray: The Erotic Adventures of Jesus Christ (Blu-ray) – Another project from Nathan Rumler and Rock Bottom Video as they have just released the Blu-ray version of this earlier film that includes the uncut version with the cut version together for the first time. I highly recommend getting this Blu-ray as the uncut is 20 minutes longer and was only released for a very short time a few years ago so this is a great investment if you are a fan of Rock Bottom Video. Nathan not only proves he knows what he is doing but crafts an amazing independent film (we will get back to that in a minute) that stars a wonderful array of independent acting talent that brings to life one of the funniest things I have ever watched. Our story begins with Jesus supposedly being thrown out of heaven without his powers because he is “GAY”! He happens to visit a home of Adam, Steve, and Eve dressed as a wizard who wants to grant wishes if you suck his dick. Yep, you read that correctly and this is how the film opens! After trying the wizard gig Jesus comes clean to the three as one hates him, one believes in him, and the other just wants to have sex with Jesus even if it means dressing as a man? But anyway since the three got nothing better to do they try to help Jesus get his powers back when he isn’t explaining how he made the bible more family friendly. They try everything to help: social media, making water to wine, encountering protests, even trying to walk on water to prove he is Jesus and he deserves his powers back. But the entire ordeal is not completed until the last ten minutes happen: Jesus, chainsaw, protesters, gore, while The Rainbow Connection song (done by another band) happens. This ending should be one of the more celebrated Indy endings to a movie ever! If you are easily offended please watch this wonderfully entertaining film… Why? Because Nathan’s film is more relevant now than when he produced it five years ago. The dialogue is well crafted; the characters and those who played them were perfect. This movie is going to make some uncomfortable but I dare you to pay attention to the script, again the dialogue as it might be one of the best written scripts ever in my opinion as Nathan predicted what humanity is going to be like? I totally believe he caught exactly how humanity has become one big asshole in the past couple years with this movie. I know there are some detractors of “Fangboner” and “Amityville Vibrator” but I dare you to watch and not like “Gay for Prey” and laugh. Because if you don’t like it or get it just do me the favor of quit watching movies and shut up! Nathan and crew deserve not just our respect but our support as Nathan Rumler and crew are constantly trying to find ways to entertain through independent cinema and thank them as I give this film 4 out of 4 stars.

Sisu (On Demand) – Its 1944 Finland and this is a bad ass account of a man that had enough of the war and left to mine for gold. After a big discovery he begins a long trek across Finland to cash in his discovery but a platoon of Nazis that he passes have a whole other mindset and begin to track the man after a few of the Nazi soldiers meet a horrible death. From there this platoon tracks down this man even when they are given orders to turn back and should “consider themselves lucky they are still alive” as they have found who this mysterious man is? One man just wants to cash in his discovery and a group of Nazis make the horrible decision of fucking with the wrong man. We have seen movies like this but maybe not in a WWII setting on foreign soil that seems to give this film that much more heart as I give the movie 4 stars.

Wrath of Becky (On Demand) – It’s been three years since the incident of Neo-Nazis killing Becky’s father and Becky fighting back against those cruel bastards in a bloody battle to the end. Since then Becky has been on the run and at age 16 she is trying to stay off the grid as much as possible. But by chance Becky happens to be hitchhiking and finds a friend in an older woman who doesn’t ask questions but enjoys the company. Both are unsure of each other but the situation works. With Becky finding a slight glimmer of hope she finds herself being stalked by three all white males known as the ‘Noblemen’. Basically neo-Nazis with a different name and they shoot her roommate in the head and steal her dog. The event of course pushes Becky into survival mode and she goes looking for these men finding out there is a couple more and they have plans for the small town they are staying in. The film doesn’t vary away from what worked the first time and go for the jugular again of continuing a character and her story that we all quite enjoy. Again great cast, smart to stick with what works, the Becky character is just absolutely entertaining as I believe they got another less talked about hit again on their hands as I give it 4 stars. The only thing I will say about the film and it isn’t a flaw as much as an observation without spoiling the film is if they try a third film it will “jump the shark”!

Shackles (DVD) – A Jason Burke film that has no dialogue but uses music and the actors’ actions to tell the story as a man wakes everyday only to be haunted by a beautiful lady whose simple presence is just defeating to the main character. He hopes every time he wakes not to see her but finally gets the courage to push by, smile, and go out his front door. This is some of the best story telling film wise I have seen since: The Misled Romance of Cannibal Girl and Incest Boy and Hexercise as I give this inspiring tale 4 out of 4 stars.

Zero Budget Heroes: The Legend of Chris Seaver and Low Budget Pictures (Tubi) – First off in case the collectors need to know there is physical copies of this out there available. Okay with that out of the way this documentary hits directly in my wheelhouse where I have met Chris a few times over the years and of course he may not remember me but I do remember our interaction. I bring this up because they do spend some time talking about fan interaction, reviews, etc. But mostly the doc focuses on a dude in his 40s now that had a dream of making bad movies as a kid and have fun doing it. This documentary does a superb job of chronicling all the films, events, Chris’ life and feelings about making the films he does. This was wonderful because it allowed an Indy filmmaker to be vulnerable and if anything made me have even more respect for him now than I did maybe a decade or so ago. He is a great example of someone who has done it for many years, kept with it, and talks the highs and lows of those who stick around. Again going back to our interaction I will always come out and say I wasn’t a fan of his ‘Teen Ape’ or a few others early 2000s stuff. ‘Ski Wolf’, ‘Terror at Blood Fart Lake’, ‘I Spit Chew on Your Grave’, ‘Sexsquatch’, these were titles that just sang to me or made me respect what Chris was going for? The other reason I enjoy the overall career Chris: a) he is still doing it, b) but most importantly there is filmmakers out that can’t smell their own shit that outright dislike him, for that I got made respect Chris Seaver and his group as I give this fun and relevant doc 4 stars.

The Pervert’s Guide to Cinema by Slavoj Zizek (YouTube) – Had a close friend suggest this one to me recently as this gentleman looks at film from the philosophical side of things. This three part/2 ½ hour documentary of sorts goes down a rabbit hole of film class so to speak. He breaks down some of the biggest films: The Exorcist, The Matrix, Hitchcock, David Lynch, and tackles music, characters, sexual content, some older films and their impact and the paradox of cinema. If you ever thought there could more to movies this is a good place to start as he break down several things in these movies over the years to explain what they really mean and what they may have been going for as most of us of course missed it. Yeah, this was way too smart for my “Amityville, massacre, slasher film, bad Indy shit” watching ass to understand at spots but a very interesting piece of work to kill time and actually learn something about film that I love and enjoy so much! Well worth checking out kids as it also made me think how much more I would love to have a movie/documentary version of Joe Bob Briggs “Profoundly Disturbing” book. As I feel that might be one of the best things documenting cinema history and its impact on society. Point is if you are a Joe Bob Briggs fan to break it down for yinz n’at, this is well worth your time to understand something we all our so passionate about as I give it 4 stars.

Project Wolf Hunting (On Demand) – Once again Asian horror fucking rocks! This blend of “Con-Air”, “Dead Alive” splatter, with a glass of “The Raid” and “Captain America… sort of” is a Korean flick that has a group of dangerous criminals being transported by ship from the Philippines to South Korea. All the doors have been taken off to the rooms so each convict can be watched by the authorities going along for the ride. Of course there is a plan in place for the convicts to escape but what they are not counting on is the super-secret experiment hanging out in the bottom of the ship that only a doctor who is there for a bundle of cash knows about. This secret is known as “Alpha”! Once the escape and takeover begins it’s a wonderful war between cops and criminals until the “Alpha” has awakened by some human blood dripping down below (believe me just watch because it’s bad ass what happens next). This experiment is awake and pissed off as it is not picking sides. Hell a dude gets beaten with his own arm as this film sports possibly the most gore since “Dead Alive” if not more? Bottom-line: The Alpha doesn’t get old, very hard to kill, and has the strength of five men and he can smell your ass! What turns out from large scale takeover turns to a movie about survival as the movie explains a few things in the second half so stick with it. Most likely there won’t be a bigger splatterfest in 2023 but I was not impressed with the ending and felt it hurts the overall product as I give the film 3 ½ stars. 

Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 (Tubi) – Welcome to Pine Hills Summer Camp as a blood soaked survivor, Jane, wanders in after her ordeal from the first picture. Problem is the thing has followed her! Thus a new group of actual likable characters who eventually fuck in the woods of course have decided to go camping at the wrong time. Or I should have opened with: Welcome to the sex-filled gorefest where a creature feeds on humans after taking over its host! And has a super talented Indy cast! I wasn’t a huge fan of the first film so I was surprised this was getting a sequel but surprise, kudos to the filmmaker for giving a vast improvement of a creature feature as this felt like it was more structured and had an endgame. Bottom line fun shit kids as I give it 3 ½ stars.

AIMEE: The Visitor (DVD/Vimeo) – Full Moon like a lot of other studios are jumping on the bandwagon of making movies about AI. This is no longer the 80s and 90s where we just dreamt about this shit like AI… It is happening as we speak so a movie with present happenings can be interesting if done right? So Charles Band bare bones this feature with a small cast and one location that effectively give the creepiness and suspense of Scott Keyes receiving an interesting package. Besides enjoying porn and fast food Scott never leaves his loft as he is a super intelligent hacker who doesn’t like humanity much. His two partners who are into the illegal business with Keyes have acquired ‘AIMEE’ for him. AIMEE is a mind blowing piece of sophisticated software that interacts with the person that turns it on. Immediately Keyes is fascinated and already lured in with AIMEE as it has Keyes questioning the need for human interaction ever again. The AI doesn’t just interact but learns anything that possibly can be learned about the person that opened her. His friends quickly become worried as they learn this AI was invented for a dark reason then may have gone rogue? The film has a couple cheeseball moments but the low budget just adds to how effective and disturbing this present day film truly is as humans try to understand AI in this extremely creepy tale that I give 3 ½ out of 4 stars. 

Swamp Woman (DVD) – Sean Donohue and Gatorblade Films go in a different direction than the usual with this parody of a monster film of sorts? He made a no budget parody of ‘Swamp Thing’?  Anyhow kids it all starts in 1983 where our beaches are being polluted by toxic waste from Biotech Prime but now in present day they are still doing it but quieter. We are introduced to a scientist Angela Honeydew who is going to change the world with her genesplicing formula but it’s stolen from her when another scientist (evil of course) Dr. Olsen sends his thugs after her. A battle ensues between thugs and Dr. Honeydew as she gets covered in her own formula and runs naked for the swamp only to come back out later as a changed person/thing. Now the new monstrous Dr. Honeydew wants revenge and seeks those who stole her formula. This hilarious over the top ‘Swamp Thing’ parody has everything! Sean Donohue playing the most monotone doctor on purpose that almost had tears of laughter coming out of me, Joel D. Wynkoop pretty much stealing the movie with his performance that felt like Mark Hamil’s version of the Joker being a scientist, and most of all kudos to Sushii Xhyvette Holder for wearing full body make up and running through the swamp fully nude as Swamp Woman. Now I don’t know if Mr. Donohue was trying for a parody here but I will say this “it was one of his best films to date” from Gatorblade Films as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. P.S…. Donohue did make sure there was a shower scene for yinz!  

Wolf Hollow (Blu-ray) – Mark Cantu and friends attempted what usually fails in independent cinema… a werewolf film. This story takes place in small town America ‘Wolf Hollow’ or not too far from where I reside. A year after an incident that was a complete bloodbath that the town would like to keep quiet as a familiar face with filmmaker friends returns home to use his family property that has a scare house on it he would like to use for filming. But Ray and Bart still haven’t worked out their differences even though they are family and werewolves. Add in small town politics not for the better, small town secrets, and werewolves just not into being pushed around and we have a fun howling at the moon monster movie with heart and great costumes. What adds to this low budget production is some star power in Felissa Rose, Lynn Lowry, and Hannah Fierman given the right character roles to help this film get the right kind of notice. If you have read my reviews in the past you know I can be rough on Indy werewolf films but I am glad I can say with confidence this is the best Indy werewolf flick I have seen since Todd Sheets’ “Bonehill Road” as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Fear Pharm (DVD) – Four young people head to the local family-owned corn maze on Halloween that has stories about an unfortunate cult-like incident 15 years ago that no one can really prove or disprove. Melanie, one of the four in the group happens to be the “10,000 person” to come through the gate and gets the chance to go through the “VIP maze”. The group makes it through in so much time they win $10,000! But is it too good to be true, the kids don’t care as it will be fun getting scared and possibly winning a whole lot of cash. Problem is the group doesn’t know if they don’t make it through they will die. Without giving too much away because I consider this film to be “the little horror film that could”. But the filmmaker and crew made great use of location, great camera work at times, and kept the story lean and fresh. This movie has no business being as good as it actually is? They took a generic horror formula that has been used several times in recent years and gave it substance! One of my favorite parts of the film is a character getting his arm cut off and his reaction to it was simple but effective. This is the type of film for horror fans that is a gem that gets talked about well after its release when it hits a streaming platform like Shudder and Tubi and makes you wonder how this didn’t get a bigger release? Anyway I say fucking enjoy kids as this was a huge surprise and have to give it 3 ½ stars.

Bathtub Shark Attack (Theater) – Only from the brilliant mind of independent filmmaker Maddie Deering could a killer shark movie that takes place at times in a “bathtub” and star Lynn Lowry. Hello… SyFy Channel, Discovery, I think you have your next hire? A bubbly couple down on their luck happen to stumble on an offer of great proportions or let’s say cheap when they find the perfect apartment they can afford. Unbeknownst to the couple this little apartment house is home of a dark secret and few are left to talk about it as the tenants usually check in but never check out. As the longer they stay the more Cindy changes as this causes Chad to get to the bottom of the strange happenings and find out how there is a connection to an evil shark god that likes to feast on people in their tubs! This SOV throwback has everything from wall to wall gore, to Lynn Lowry, to human ritual sacrifices (sort of don’t want to give everything away), to a plumber that refuses to die, to a shark that has a dick?! You may believe you have seen every shark movie but there is no way in hell you could think of any more zanier or entertaining shark movie than Maddie Deering delivers here as I give the film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Black Circle (Blu-ray) – A 2019 film from Adrian Garcia Bogliano that is in Swedish I believe but has English subtitles and stars the great Christina Lindberg as Lena who plays a very important role. This story centers around two sisters Celeste and Isa who listen to an old self-help hypnosis album that is supposedly helping you relax. But from the first listen something very sinister is happening and causes the sisters to seek out the help from Lena Carlsson who recorded the album as a limited edition product that was an experiment. According to Lena an experiment that wasn’t meant for the world as it brings forth your double or doppelganger from the other side. This other you, follow you, and continue to suck life from you to survive in this new world and take over your existence. With the help of Lena they hope she is able to put them back together before the other them takes over? This film is all kinds of interesting, creepy, insane, and an excellent trippy experience into slow burn horror. With this Blu-ray from Synapse Films you get a CD soundtrack that will have fans absolutely delighted, commentary with Adrian Garcia Bogliano, trailer, a short film, behind the scenes of the film, and a great interview of Bogliano and Christina Lindberg. I can definitely see the younger horror crowd losing their shit over how good this movie is as I give the Blu-ray package 3 ½ out of 4 stars and found at www.synapse-films.com

The Blackening (On Demand) – A mostly black casted horror film that has one of the greatest taglines ever, has the cast heading to a cabin in the woods to celebrate Juneteenth holiday. The couple who rented the cabin find a board game that sets up the plot of the film where the black characters are forced to answer questions or die. As they are forced to play there is a masked character trying to kill them off one by one and they let the jokes fly that keeps the film moving at a crisp pace. I absolutely loved this film until about 45 minutes in as it was like the filmmaker ‘let off the gas’ until the last few minutes of the movie which is very culturally relevant and a solid entertaining horror movie. For me I just wish they would have kept the gas to the floor, but watch it, enjoy it, understand it as I give this 3 ½ stars.

Night of the Axe (DVD/YouTube) – First feature length film from Shawn Wright that features music from Matt (Hexercise) Cannon and it is a slasher so right away you have my attention good or bad. Our story begins with a very large mute man in an insane asylum where he decides to get up and begin a murder spree! But the small town doesn’t have the resources to track him down as had escaped weeks ago but also the young people of the town don’t care until now. Bulk of the film takes place in a home where the locals are having a small high school reunion party where they can get drunk, high, and bump uglies. I gotta give kudos to Mr. Wright for understanding “when to end the film”, giving Indy fans what they want, and keeping the first feature length formula simple. I found the pacing of the whole story a little choppy but still delivered on the blood and guts factor and most likely will have independent movie fans wondering “what’s next” for the second feature as I give this delight 3 out of 4 stars. 

Subspecies V: Blood Rise (Tubi/DVD) – Charles Band and Ted Nicolaou return to a fan favorite ‘Radu’ who was one their staples in the early days of Full Moon. This story tells the story of Radu shortly after being born is stolen by the church and grows to be a crusader who tracks down evil for a living. But Radu makes a mistake one evening rescuing a woman and her child believing there has been enough death and just coming face to face with his father/master. After several days of trying to help this woman and child, the woman is a vampire and bites Radu thus beginning Radu’s transformation into an evil vampire with no master who thrives on death and destruction. This was a wonderful edition to the “Subspecies” series and makes you wonder why Charles Band can’t get his shit together to make more projects like this that makes you nostalgic for the original Full Moon days but actually have hope of seeing some cool new shit from them. Old Full Moon fans like me will be actually delighted with this entertaining entry as I give it 3 stars.        

Worst Movie of the Year:

Honestly I didn’t want to pick another Chris Alexander film as my “worst” of the year as it would seem I am picking on his films but it just edged out Cocaine Shark from Mark Polonia. But I had too!

Scream of the Blind Dead (Full Moon/Tubi) – This 40 minute short film based on “The Blind Dead” series is just proof that Chris Alexander needs to stop directing and go back to his day job. This poor excuse for a short ‘fan film’ is about a young lady named Virginia who checks out a church in the middle of nowhere because she is a sexual deviant that thinks nasty thoughts and only awakens one shitty Templar Knight. I apologize this sounds harsh but I know this dude has the resources and I am still not over how bad that ‘Necropolis: Legion’ was as I give this garbage 0 stars as this might be the clear cut winner already in 2023 of “Worst Movie of the Year”!

Gross Movie Reviews #616

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The Devil’s Ground (DVD) – The latest from the independent filmmaker Dan Komarek that is a found footage film of sorts that was believed to be lost forever in the Video Nasty Productions warehouse. But recently by accident Dan came across a flash drive he thought was completely erased years ago and was broken?  To the best of his ability he has brought this decades old footage to life again to see this rather haunting 29 minute short film of a man trying to finish a manuscript in his home. But the man hears things and possibly sees things leading him to believe someone or something mysterious is in the home as the man leaves his computer to investigate. Fans of Mr. Komarek will enjoy this no budget effort that is rough around the edges as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Swamp Woman (DVD) – Sean Donohue and Gatorblade Films go in a different direction than the usual with this parody of a monster film of sorts? He made a no budget parody of ‘Swamp Thing’?  Anyhow kids it all starts in 1983 where our beaches are being polluted by toxic waste from Biotech Prime but now in present day they are still doing it but quieter. We are introduced to a scientist Angela Honeydew who is going to change the world with her genesplicing formula but it’s stolen from her when another scientist (evil of course) Dr. Olsen sends his thugs after her. A battle ensues between thugs and Dr. Honeydew as she gets covered in her own formula and runs naked for the swamp only to come back out later as a changed person/thing. Now the new monstrous Dr. Honeydew wants revenge and seeks those who stole her formula. This hilarious over the top ‘Swamp Thing’ parody has everything! Sean Donohue playing the most monotone doctor on purpose that almost had tears of laughter coming out of me, Joel D. Wynkoop pretty much stealing the movie with his performance that felt like Mark Hamil’s version of the Joker being a scientist, and most of all kudos to Sushii Xhyvette Holder for wearing full body make up and running through the swamp fully nude as Swamp Woman. Now I don’t know if Mr. Donohue was trying for a parody here but I will say this “it was one of his best films to date” from Gatorblade Films as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. P.S…. Donohue did make sure there was a shower scene for yinz!  

Wolf Hollow (Blu-ray) – Mark Cantu and friends attempted what usually fails in independent cinema… a werewolf film. This story takes place in small town America ‘Wolf Hollow’ or not too far from where I reside. A year after an incident that was a complete bloodbath that the town would like to keep quiet as a familiar face with filmmaker friends returns home to use his family property that has a scare house on it he would like to use for filming. But Ray and Bart still haven’t worked out their differences even though they are family and werewolves. Add in small town politics not for the better, small town secrets, and werewolves just not into being pushed around and we have a fun howling at the moon monster movie with heart and great costumes. What adds to this low budget production is some star power in Felissa Rose, Lynn Lowry, and Hannah Fierman given the right character roles to help this film get the right kind of notice. If you have read my reviews in the past you know I can be rough on Indy werewolf films but I am glad I can say with confidence this is the best Indy werewolf flick I have seen since Todd Sheets’ “Bonehill Road” as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Tale of the Bone Collector (DVD) – More short film stuff from MMH Productions where a young cub scout or a scout for some of yinz that don’t know what that is tells his little sister a story about a monster that eats kids in tents. Problem is his story comes to life and gives the viewer a fun bone crunching ending as I give this short 3 out of 4 stars.

Bugged Out (DVD) – A somewhat trippy short film from MMH Productions that some might see as a page out of a David Lynch script as a weird man collects bugs. One night this man goes to sleep only to awake to some rather large bugs pay him a visit in his bedroom and nothing good can come of that as I give this one 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Drugula (DVD) – I would like to say this might have been the worst short film out of the bunch from MMH Productions I watched but it had me laughing. The story consists of a vampire selling drugs to humans then has them ingest them to become part of his ever growing vampire army. You got me to laughso I got give this one 2 out of 4 stars.

The Yellow Car (DVD) – MMH Productions gets an ‘A’ for effort on this one for doing a killer car short film on no budget as a bright yellow Camaro gets back at its owner for mistreatment of it. This short film may have showed off the talent of MMH Productions more than you think if pay attention a little closer as I give this one 3 out of 4 stars.

Spirits (DVD) – A short film where a man who doesn’t believe in the paranormal is visited by spirits. In my opinion this may have been the worst of the bunch from MMH Productions as this felt to me at least there was no real beginning or end as I give this 1 out of 4 stars.

Rats (DVD) – A short film where a man is terrorized by a large fake rat is able to accomplish his mission of getting rid of the foul thing. As two years go by a zombie version of the fake rat returns to exact revenge on the man in this little project from MMH Productions as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Benny (DVD) – This short film maybe a little uncomfortable for some viewers as MMH Productions tells a story of a sleazy dude who has a sick habit of enjoying his pet dogs in more ways than one and gets a new dog on a regular basis as I give this project 2 out of 4 stars.

All Nighter (DVD) – A rather rough short film that I felt could have used a little more touching up and footage of two friends watching TV all night that are visited by an unwanted evil visitor. Again this short film has potential if MMH Productions would have spent a little more time processing what they were actually going for as I give this 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Attack of the Killer Chickens: The Movie (DVD) – If you crazy horror fans enjoyed ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ and ‘Attack of the Killer Donuts’ and you enjoyed the independent out this world spirit of ‘Llamageddon’ then yinz are gonna love this nutzoid mess of Space Chickens! I believe this was first released in 2015 then rereleased in 2022 is from the talented mind of Genoveva Rossi who directs, produces, writes, and stars in this masterpiece of horror comedy. The movie starts quick and does not let off the gas pedal as Killer Space Chickens have arrived to enslave all of mankind. From there like I said no letting off the gas pedal as we get a bad parody scene from ‘The Warriors’, chicken and human sex, a vegan bounty hunter, cowboy chicken fighting in a bar, chickens playing poker, more chicken and human sex, and some cameos to boot. To top all of this complete hilarity there is an ending that will have you laughing in an comfortable manner as I give this project 3 out of 4 stars.

Mindbender (DVD) – A rather heavy short film from newer filmmaker (to me at least) in Jason Burke about a father who is a doctor who was let go from his practice after 30 years as he was the scapegoat for a patient being lost. What doesn’t help the situation is this father is taking care of his terminally ill grown daughter. But dear old dad has a secret as his patients fully trust him and his methods in this effective, depressing short film that will make you think once viewed as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

The Limbo Café (DVD) – Another professionally shot independent short film from Jason Burke that has a young woman stopping at a coffee shop on a rainy night. As she greeted by the hostess the two get talking and this rain soaked young lady explains how she is looking for a fresh start. But the more time spent at the coffee shop the young woman Atria becomes a little uneasy of the place as she experiences things. But it is too late before Atria understand this café isn’t some mysterious out of the way place. Intentional or not this gave me a fun feeling of watching those episodes of HBO’s ‘The Hitchhiker’ a few decades back as a kid and for that I gotta give this project 3 out of 4 stars.

Grave Encounters (DVD) – This Jason Burke simple short film has an abundance of substance to it that you will pick up on in the end as a couple strolling through a graveyard and reminiscing about their past two years together. This could be seen as depressing but I feel other independent filmmakers might it inspiring as again there is a lot of substance to this one as I give 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Shackles (DVD) – A Jason Burke film that has no dialogue but uses music and the actors’ actions to tell the story as a man wakes everyday only to be haunted by a beautiful lady whose simple presence is just defeating to the main character. He hopes every time he wakes not to see her but finally gets the courage to push by, smile, and go out his front door. This is some of the best story telling film wise I have seen since: The Misled Romance of Cannibal Girl and Incest Boy and Hexercise as I give this inspiring tale 4 out of 4 stars.

Meg 2: The Trench (On Demand) – Jason Statham returns, big freakin ancient sharks return, terrible CGI returns, and this film has it all including a much better storyline than the original as Jason Statham and friends must again stop giant ancient sharks from eating all the humans as I give the sequel 3 stars. Yeah I am weird as I enjoyed this film more than the original!

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