This website is dedicated to horror movies (independent and mainstream), beer, Full Moon, Spookies, Graveyard Shift, Leprechaun sequels, massacre films and watching every god damn horror film ever made or die trying!
The Devil’s Hacksaw (Tubi) – This was a premise that excited me before the release and the trailer looked great. The plot revolves around a crazy dude in 2001 who kidnaps a school bus full of kids as he then commits suicide scarring his son who was also on the bus for the long term. Because of the incident the kid is committed to an asylum only to escape of course present day! This scarred individual slaughters his way through the quiet town with a bit of humor about his actions along the way. This is one of your more mean spirited Indy slashers that I feel you will enjoy it more than I did if you don’t see the trailer first as I can only give this project 2 out of 4 stars.
Rippy (Tubi) – Yinz had me at Michael Biehn where his old ass is needed to go fight a big ass zombie kangaroo! Of course this is an Australian production where after several odd deaths a sheriff must live up to their father’s legacy to save their small community that’s being terrorized by this monstrous thing. This beast is almost unstoppable after mutating from the local water stream and feasts on humans constantly. Yes it is a huge mess but this is a fun monster mess that all horror fans can get behind if yinz give it a chance as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Harmony Falls (Tubi) – A small town sheriff calls in a cryptozoologist Ian McDermott near Mount St. Helens because of stories and recent animal attacks that don’t exactly add up. If it makes sense this turns out to be a very dry maybe even more boring werewolf film that makes you question everything that was filmed as I can only give this project a ½ star out of 4.
Tunnels (Tubi/YouTube) – Depending the source you of reading material about this late 80s project it was suspected to be some kind of weird TV pilot? A couple of reporters get curious about the various rat stories under their building and go investigating. Instead of finding some weird rat creature the duo uncovers some weird plot of the homeless getting snatched up and being sold as slaves overseas. This easily could have gone all in on the CHUD formula but chose to do something very convoluted that gets the viewer lost as I can barely give it a ½ star.
There’s a Zombie Outside (Tubi/DVD) – Directed by the wonderfully talented Michael Varrati pits four friends renting a house for a weekend that happens to be just a movie project for an actor Ben. Ben is literally having trouble determining what reality is and what’s not as he keeps seeing a zombie outside of his window as he tries to keep a grasp on reality. Ever since his movie Ben has been having personal troubles and friends are worried what is exactly going on with him? Varrati does exceptional work to tell a quite unique zombie tale that doesn’t fit the mold of the usual zombie genre fare as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
Jimmy and Stiggs (Blu-ray) – Jimmy believes he is being attacked or abducted by aliens after taking several drugs and pissing off his woman. Trapped in his apartment Jimmy record his possible abduction for research purposes that convince him he needs to prepare for the aliens. Stiggs stops by and finds he quickly becoming part of this drug-crazed alien attack in Jimmy’s apartment that turns into one of the biggest mess of goo in recent memory. The filmmaker’s love for such a project ‘Bad Taste’ warns you immediately what you are in for an amazing bonkers filled gag movie where Jimmy must fight off aliens! I absolutely respect the complete chaos this film is as I gotta give it 3 stars and a must see for horror fans so they can discuss!
Piranha Women (Tubi) – A Full Moon project that I believe was supposed to be a series of films or something for streaming but ended up being a one off mash-up from Fred Olen Ray and Charles Band. Alexia looks into an experimental treatment for her condition that not only causes her to be separated from her boyfriend but may cause death for other people. The concerned boyfriend Richard looks into her doctor only to find that bodies are starting to pile up on the shores of the local bay. It’s a quick sexy horror thing that is forgotten as quickly as you watch it as I give it 1 ½ stars.
The Dark Lurking (Tubi) – A 2009 Australian low budget flick that has survivors locked down in a secret research station where some old creatures have resurfaced. For any chance of survival that is left they must climb several levels to the surface to even have a chance being rescued from the horror that was unleashed. A mix of Aliens, Event Horizon, and Doom is the best way to explain this creature filled horror as I give it unimpressive, could have been more 1 ½ stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Sorry folks for those who do read my reviews but with the recent untimely death of my great friend and filmmaker Maddie Deering on June 13th I went offline for some time to take care of some things. I promise you the reviews and news will start back up again. Maddie you will be missed my dear friend.
Rumpelstiltskin (UltraHD/4K) – Okay Terrorvision did you just seriously release this on 4K? Fucking wild since I haven’t watched this film since its release in 1995 as it comes from the same dude that gave us ‘Leprechaun’ of course so it was time for a revisit. So after stealing a baby hundreds of years ago Rumpelstiltskin is cursed into being a rock by a witch. Now present day, a prego wife who has lost her cop husband in a senseless crime finds herself a little later at an oddities store where she buys the rock. She takes it home, she has the baby now, wishes her husband to be alive (after they bump uglies of course in a dream) and now this little demon is chasing her or she is chasing it because it wants the baby’s soul! By the way Rumpelstiltskin smokes cigars, hard to kill, can drive a motorcycle and a long haul truck which fun fact the producers of this flick are the same dudes that gave us Scooby-Doo and Thundarr the Barbarian! This fairy tale terror is not as much fun as Leprechaun but it’s packed with a commentary, making of segment, Shot on VHS behind the scenes stuff, and even has a baking segment as I give it 2 ½ stars and make you say “fuck it” and watch it anyway.
Colossal (DVD) – This 2016 film is about a character Gloria who just happens to be an aging party girl in New York who has a boyfriend that supports her until he has had enough of her all night partying. Gloria being thrown out is forced back to her small town home where her parents died but left her their home. She stays there to decide what’s next besides trying to no longer drink but at the same time Seoul, Korea is attacked by a mysterious giant monster. As the attacks become more frequent not exactly explained to the world Gloria and friends become intrigued? Gloria figures out it have something to do with a childhood trauma at a playground that wasn’t there but is now with her friend Oscar. The film becomes about unresolved childhood trauma, friendship, and Gloria just trying to figure out life. For me the film is neither good nor bad as it had me waiting for something else to happen but never did. But for those that like this film this just “wasn’t my cup of tea” as I give it 2 stars.
Cutter’s Club (Tubi) – A newer but older Charles Band release that stars the legendary fine actor Tony Todd. This was one of the many unfinished projects of Mr. Band from several years ago that he finally got a crew together to unearth it and put it out there for fans. (Way too many stories about why, but this isn’t the first unfinished project that has found its way out there from the Charles Band magical warehouse recently. That is for a whole other conversation sometime.) Jill is a med student in the process of becoming a surgeon believes she could do more research with a disgraced great doctor that could change the world? This great doctor is Doctor Roberts and up until a year or so ago the university loved him until it was found out he was banging Jill so instead of firing him they place him in the basement of the east wing where he continues his experiments… with his odd satanic-like minions. Jill convinces her boyfriend after an experiment with a cat that the right thing to do would be to join forces with Dr. Roberts to further research. The purpose for all involved is “Art of Flesh” but they need more than animals for their big experiment and bring to life a creature with two heads. This 2005 film felt a bit thrown together then and still does now but enjoy seeing the potential in Charles Band finishing some of these “unfinished” projects as I give this 2 ½ stars.
Zombie Repellent (Tubi) – A soon to be married couple find themselves lost and without their car (believed stolen) in the middle of nowhere. They get to a small town that has no hotels, no Wi-Fi, and just a little weird as they can’t sleep as they uncover the town has a zombie problem. Now the couple must do everything they can with whoever will believe them during their misadventure to survive the zombies. There is some parts I am leaving out on purpose because it does have some funny parts but the bigger thing is the movie has an ending that isn’t ‘what you think it is’ so understand why this is more of a vague review as I give the film 2 stars.
Alien Intruder (VHS) – Thank you to my good friend Jon Cross for pointing out PM Entertainment to me this wild movie filler 1993 space gem stars Maxwell Caulfield, Billy Dee Williams, Jeff Conaway, and Tracy Scoggins! It is 2022 A.D. as Nick Mancuso and a few other prisoners are pulled out of New Alcatraz to use their special skills for a rescue mission or salvage mission. Little they know Tracy Scoggins plays a renegade VR program that has infected the ship they are going after and just enjoys making mankind lust for her and then kill each other. With most of the film being filler of Tracy Scoggins being the Ariel program or just being gorgeous the crew tries to disable the program so they can escape this hell. Fun cast in a low budget film that is so low budget it feels like they filmed it all in a K-mart warehouse and basement will always spell fun time to me as I give it 3 stars.
Beast Mode (DVD) – Literally this is one of those films released in 2020 that I cannot tell it was that big of a mess the studio didn’t know what to do with or like a lot of films that year it got “COVIDED” . Anyway we have a beaten down on his luck producer in C. Thomas Howell who accidentally kills or believes he does his meal ticket aka star in Huckle Saxton. Howell’s staff finds a double to pass off as Huckle for a movie project and uses this underground herbal make-up to pass him off. Problem is the make-up is known to make someone who uses it into a bloodthirsty beast. Meanwhile the real Huckle Saxton wakes up in a storage unit and from there the plot just gets real murky at best. No matter what, I found C. Thomas Howell to be the gem in this huge mess as I enjoyed his character throughout but still can only give this film 1 ½ stars.
Arkansas Pigman Massacre (Fawesome) – Another massacre film acquired but problem is they should have thought twice about making it. The film claims the events of the film take place in 2004 where two 12 year old girls go with a big brother randomly to the woods only to be stalked by a guy in a pig mask for most of the film. Or to save us all a bunch of trouble of me ranting about this film I like to call this movie: Look ma, I have a drone! Also I watched ‘In a Violent Nature’ last year and I was always a fan of ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ but for some reason I wanted to have the plot of my film literally not make sense. Hopefully that explains this mess of an Indy movie that I can only give it 0 stars. Want to know more of my breakdown please find me, buy me a beer, and we will have an educational conversation? I so wanted this to be a no-budget fun mess instead I got a turd that someone calls a movie!
Side Effects May Vary (DVD) – A movie project I wish I would have seen sooner as even before we get into the review this will make it into my “Top Ten list of 2025”! So J.R. Bookwalter returns to the director’s chair for the first time in 23 years along with help from writer and star James L. Edwards. Glenn has been sick for several weeks during this pandemic and doesn’t exactly believe in the science behind the new vaccines even though his wife has gotten it. Because of his illness lingering and nagging from his wife Glenn heads to the doctor’s office to get treatment. But because of the illness he cannot be vaccinated but can be part of this experimental shot that can be given during illness. He takes it believing he is doing the right thing for himself and others. It isn’t long after Glenn experiences side effects of blurred/weird visions, then also after a very uncomfortable but hilarious sex scene with the wife his dong falls off! From there Glenn becomes a gooey monstrous mess with murderous tendencies. As Glenn’s best friend gets involved, cops get involved, weird things begin to happen as Glenn’s disgusting meltdown is absolutely glorious with a perfect ending to this social commentary. This independent project is a prime example of doing all the little things right equals’ success as JR and crew put on a Masterclass of “how to make your independent movie correctly”. This was a perfect pandemic film that many have tried and failed at making so congrats to JR and James for bringing this adventure to life as I will be talking about it for years. As I give this project 4 out of 4 stars I also have to say Brinke Stevens steals the show here kids as this is her best performance since ‘Sorority Babes in the Slime Bowl-o-rama’! The DVD has a great Q&A for their opening night of the film done by none other Art Ettinger.
The Gorge (Amazon) – Two snipers are recruited to keep watch for 365 days straight over a gorge of unknown origin for uncertain reasons. Mostly they just know it’s supposedly for their country. One on the east and one on the west as shortly after World War II as the story goes three Calvary groups went in and never came back so an international treaty for this gorge was made. It is believed to be the “gate to hell” but as the two become curious about each other and decide to meet which by the way is not allowed as the two fall in love and share stories of what they know. But an incident has both trapped inside the gorge as they soon learn more than just monsters are the problem and it is part of something bigger? This is one of those “I liked it but didn’t love it” as it felt more like a video game adaptation of something thrown together. I enjoyed the concept but also felt like the movie was missing something as I give the project 3 stars.
Screamboat (Fandango) – Another unfunny adaptation of Steamboat Willie going into public domain as the Staten Island Ferry is haunted by the real life Steamboat Willie when it is released from its chamber. The killer rodent slaughters his way through passengers in a pretty boring way but I did enjoy ‘the lower deck scene as this is how we kill off 98% of the passengers in one fail swoop kind of thing’. The movie runs 30 minutes too long, the Disney references border on super annoying, and if you are into Jason Takes Manhattan combined with a bootleg Gingerdeadman vibe then hey you found your movie as I give it 1 star.
Berserker: The Nordic Curse (Tubi) – A 1987 film that I thought I had seen in the past but got it mixed up with two other Indy films I seen like 15 or 20 years ago so this was my first watch of the low budget horror from the 80s. The story takes place in nowhere Utah called ‘Rainbow Valley Campgrounds’ where supposedly Vikings hung out in the tenth century? Some young people are there for a week of camping only to be warned by George Buck Flower and the lone sheriff that there are wild animals out there “so be careful”. The kids get partying; read some stories of the Nordic legend, then one of them wander off to pee and its game time for the Nordic spirit or… the killer bear. Glad I got to see it but yinz arenot missing out on much folks as I give it 1 ½ stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Space Sharks (On Demand) – In this Indy CGI-fest space debris falls to earth to have killer plants killing hikers in the mountains and a weird POV camera that is supposed to be a space shark stalking people. Not a whole lot happens in this 60 minute feature and that is without the long ass credits but besides you falling asleep there is of course a conspiracy about space sharks. Honestly, I was expecting more with a title like that but was very disappointed as this movie should give its cool title back as I give it 0 stars so consider yourself warned.
Crackcoon (Amazon) – Yes, admittedly I was a little critical of this recent Brad Twigg feature because I thought it missed the boat (Cocaine Bear)? Well thank Mr. Twigg for proving me wrong as the film opens with a quite fun death scene as super crack has hit the streets! This new strain of drugs is turning people into crazed killers so imagine when a couple drug dealers throw their stash out the window and a raccoon gets ahold of it. The drugged murder-crazed animal wastes no time going on a murderous rampage all over the mountain where it lived. Meanwhile a forest ranger who has no business being married to Jessa Flux just wants the small town sheriff to take these animal attacks serious. The story is outrageous, loved the cast (the Frankie character steals the film), hilarious kills, and special thanks to filmmaker Brad Twigg for restoring my faith that a good Indy movie can be made out of a terrible idea that was most likely said out loud when everybody was drunk… I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.
Death Streamer (Full Moon) – Charles Band is working his black magic again of going back to what made Full Moon, Full Moon? Small cast, great location, and an interesting horror story to be told as it worked in the early 90s and it has been working again here in the 2020s. With this new bloodsucker film has a vampire live streaming his feedings at an S&M club to select viewers. But to the vampire’s disgust some web show investigators called ‘Church of Chills’ stumble upon this unique and intriguing show. They want to know if the murders are staged or actually real to get the clicks, the interest in their show uncovering this hidden gem. Once they dive head first into the history of the club they find out a lot more than they bargain for. Saying it out loud it may sound like you have seen several versions of this plot already but do me a favor and let your guard down on this one. It’s worth the quick watch as Mr. Band is clearly establishing a new wave of Full Moon fun in Cleveland, Ohio as I give this film 3 out of 4 stars.
Monster Bash (Tubi) – I can always look forward to Asylum Entertainment making hot garbage from time to time that is so damn watchable as you had me at Michael Madsen is Dr. Frankenstein. The good doctor is sending his monster out into the night to collect things for a certain experiment he needs to perform as his life is coming to an end. His goal is to become a god among men or to become an unkillable abomination by collecting certain things from Dracula, Mummy, The Invisible Man, and Wolfman. This causes an unlikely team-up to stop the madman Dr. Frankenstein. The movie is so terrible its brilliant as you should grab the friends and beer and enjoy this for what it is and be happy it exists as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Glowzies (Tubi) – So a trio of mountain bikers happens to come upon an old mill building that has been fenced off for years. But the three unleash something that has been trapped for the past three decades until the government can decide a proper clean up but have forgotten about it. Doesn’t take long for glowy-eyed zombies attacking people but that is the least of the plotlines here as the material making everyone a zombie is an alien element that had the government decide to leave the survivors there after they try to mind swipe them? Or just have old dudes called ‘the watchdogs’ to scream at anyone “don’t go up there” that comes even remotely close to the location. What’s the solution for the zombies, how about surf music as it makes their heads explode which allows me to give the film 2 stars.
Blood and Breakfast (Vimeo) – This Indy feature from Mark Byrne has worked in the Indy genre for several years and his latest project is a clever concept that stars a few familiar Indy vets that fans will enjoy. Story centers on an old fashion bed and breakfast ‘The Amberson House’ where several strangers staying there happen to share stories and understand they have all been survivors of a serial killer. The strangers staying at the inn after sharing their stories are now being picked off one by one. The film feels like an old school horror tale to be told but at the same time the film from beginning to end felt like it was missing something I could never put my finger on that would put it over big as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.
Chum (DVD) – Another Indy film project from Jason Graves where within a few years into the future the great white shark has gone extinct. But this hasn’t stopped scientists from engineering a new breed of shark to make a comeback. Of course learning nothing from ‘Jurassic Park’ the baby sharks get released and head off to chomp down on some humans in the closest small town. When describing the film or watching the trailer it looks fun but by the end you feel more annoyed than entertained by the baby rubber sharks as I give it 1 ½ stars.
Festival of the Living Dead (Tubi) – So this horror movie exists in some weird space for horror fans as its main plot is the events of ‘Night of the Living Dead’ in 1968 were real. Now fast forward to present time a young woman ‘Ash’ who is the granddaughter of Ben has a chance to attend the 55th Festival of the Living Dead music event that celebrates those who died then. Ash’s bestie Iris decides to watch Ash’s brother so she can have a birthday of a lifetime but instead after her boyfriend wrecks the car taking a short cut the group quickly figure out there is flesh-eaters taking over! The day quickly becomes the worst birthday ever as Ash, Iris, and friends must survive the zombie attack before they nuke the event in order to control the outbreak. I give the film 3 stars as it is a solid story and I may not be a fan of the end or ending of a certain character I do feel this will be a tough watch for horror fans or more specifically NOTLD fans to give a fair viewing? Before you judge this flick let’s remember horror fans there is a project called “Children of the Living Dead” and someone thought it was a good idea to film new footage to the original 1968 film? So take this one in with a grain of salt and I will be here to discuss after viewing if needed.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Salem’s Lot (Max/remake) – So apparently it was time to remake Tobe Hooper’s late 70s TV movie based on the Stephen King’s writing again… but wait first off why did this sit around as a finished film for a couple years and second did we really need an update after that TNT debacle in the early 2000s? Well, there really isn’t any good answer why this film sat around as other remakes of King’s work made it out there immediately. Now on the other thing I feel horror movie fans totally blanked out that this had been remade before but anyhow that is for another conversation. What this film did right was go back to having it set in the 70s of Jerusalem’s Lot as they gave it few little twists enough to make it different but in the same vein as the original. We get Barlow being creepy again, Ben Mears coming back to visit the small town for inspiration, but also we get a solid vampire film that comes under two hours. I was waiting for a shitshow instead you get something old horror fans like myself can show younger people and introduce them to a fun Stephen King movie adaption as I give it 3 stars.
Meth Gator (Tubi) – The movie didn’t start off wonderful as it didn’t believe in the “steadycam” mode for the first five minutes but don’t let that scare you off as Fred Olen Ray’s kid knew exactly what needed to be done. Anyway two meth makers are chased into the swamp of small town Florida to only drop their meth while being chased by cops. Of course it is eaten by a giant gator and we are off to the cliché race of the giant gator becoming an unstoppable human eating machine because it is seeking out more meth! Think ‘Jaws’ formula combined with ‘Cocaine Bear’. Hell even the mayor is a cool familiar face in Patrick Labyorteaux who plays a great dickhead mayor who could care less about the methed up gator. It is a solid horror film about a rampaging gator as I give it 3 stars. I do have to ask why the computerized gator runs like a bear, just an observation.
Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters (DVD) – The legend Donald Farmer is back behind the camera with a who’s who in front for this crazy devil shark Indy horror film. Those damn crazy nuns go raising the devil shark again to have their blessing in killing everyone, meanwhile we also get a priest who is haunted by his brother’s past and knows he must stop this devil shark. While the darklord hunts for its next victim Jessa Flux just wants wine and be at a beach but not that shark beach? If we are being honest here this movie comes off as a mess compared to some of the more recent work that Farmer has done. It isn’t terrible but I can’t tell Indy fans that it’s good either as I got to give it 1 ½ stars.
Blood Mountain Massacre (Tubi) – Yes kids, I have tracked down another “massacre” title and this was a fun one. A dangerous inmate has escaped prison transport and now stalks an all-girl band on the road. To keep the film interesting the killer wears a pig mask, they introduce another possible stalker, the music is actually good, throw in a couple of scumbags that run a bar, some actual thought out cool kills on a low budget, and the movie is played for laughs and we get one hell of a messy but fun horror film. To explain how serious the movie is besides the party scene of a band member bringing out a cement bag of cocaine we get a bartender telling a story that has very quotable hilarious lines about why he wears an eye patch such as: “Her pussy blew up!” and “The bar was full of VAG shrapnel!” I literally laughed the rest of the way through the movie because of the bartender story as I give the film 3 stars.
The Legend of Crick Foot (Vimeo) – First time filmmaker Bone Jawnson takes a cue from the original ‘The Legend of Boggy Creek’ (maybe?) to come up with an urban Sasquatch legend in Hatfield, Pa. The documentary or mockumentary is about a man who is trying to gather as much info about this legend in Hatfield through stories and interviews. But mainly the man is only finding empty hot dog wrappers and a mystery of what exactly is going on. Entertaining no budget Indy take on the Boggy Creek thing that I can give 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Strange Darling (On Demand) – This serial killer film definitely lived up to its title of being “strange”. The film is the tragic story of many lives taken by a serial killer that spanned a two year period in the Northwest area of the U.S. It is told in six chapters out of order but if it was told in order the movie would have been a very boring concept. The killer spirals out of control after a weird kinky meeting between a man and a woman in a hotel room. That’s about the gist of this strange film because if I say anymore I will give it away and I rather you watch it and decide if this is for you as it just came off more weird than anything to me as I give it 2 stars. The biggest issue with this film will be the rewatchablity so good luck if you feel different.
Halloween Horror Tales (DVD) – A 2018 Indy anthology directed by Jeff Kirkendall that takes place in the small town of Barnum where strange things have always happened. First story is about a killer clown where the victim kills the wrong clown. The second story is a different take on a horror hostess bit. Third story is a no budget story about a killer plant that harkens back to some of the old school 50s flicks. The fourth and final story is about a vampire but the investigator not believing in the bloodsucker was actually kind of refreshing. All the stories were interesting, solid, and Kirkendall knew to keep this at a great running time that makes me encourage Indy fans to check this Halloween fright flick out as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
The Addams Family: Halloween Special (YouTube) – This 1977 TV movie on NBC was actually supposed to be a pilot to bring back the show as most of the regulars showed up to be presented in color. The Addams is celebrating their favorite time of the year Halloween, with a special celebration but of course some crooks come to steal the riches from the spooky family and fail horribly. John Astin and Carolyn Jones as Gomez and Morticia waste no time falling back into their hilarious characters and keep this pseudo pilot full of laughs keeping that old school magic from the original show. If you are a fan and never seen this it’s easy to find on the YouTube and the Tubi so enjoy as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Parasite Lady (Full Moon) – A more recent Chris Alexander Full Moon feature or sorts (43 minutes) is a tasteful artsy vampire film. A female vamp is not just seeking pleasure of the flesh but companionship as she tries to understand why she was turned into a bloodsucker in the first place. Visually it looks amazing but many vampire movie fans are going to find it tough getting through the artsy plot. Not into the artsy stuff you will wanna pass but if you are like me and wasn’t happy with some Alexander’s work you may find this a little more satisfying as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Nano Shark (Tubi) – Maybe one of the surprises of 2024 is this entertaining shark film from filmmaker Brett Kelly. New tech has allowed scientists to possibly shrink a shark down to almost nothing to enter a boy’s bloodstream to seek out and kill a rare blood disease. But… you guessed it a janitor has the tiny shark and the tiny sub injected into his backside by accident. Now it’s up to the military sub team to guide the shark out of his peen hole before it goes back to its original size! Think ‘Innerspace’ with a shark on no budget. Just when you thought the shark ideas were done this hilarious flick comes along and proves there was one more shark movie related idea out there as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.
Devil’s Knight (Vimeo) – A one-eyed stranger comes out of the woods to tell the story of “The Lost Blades” an elite group of monster hunters. During a two hundred year war in the realm of Veroka where nations fought this allowed monsters and creatures to thrive and now they terrorize humans in this realm. King Samuel tired of this nonsense hires these so-called monster hunters to put an end to the demon’s reign over his people. This man is the last of the group still searching for this horrific creature. Fantasy film with some cool effects, full of creatures, and a few big names makes this an interesting find for movie fans who are constantly searching the streaming sites for a solid film to watch as I give this 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Quadrant (Full Moon) – Charles Band is back in the director’s chair again with a movie that deals with AI and if yinz seen ‘Aimee: The Visitor’ then fans will quite enjoy this computerized treat. The film revolves around two professors who have come up with a revolutionary process called “Quadrant”. A process that no one has funded yet but they believe using their experimental helmet and computers hooked to a person’s brain and connected to an AI world that allows said person to get past their mental issues or get past the fears that haunt them. They mean well with their Quadrant universe firmly believing this will help patients embrace and defeat their fears but it needs volunteers? In comes Erin, a beautiful young woman who is extremely obsessed with Jack the Ripper! She hears of the experiment and wants to be a part of it. Erin is different from the other patients as she does not fear being a part of the universe as she wants to live it, feel it, and live in it. With each treatment Erin embraces Quadrant that much more blurring the lines of reality and the Jack the Ripper AI world she wants to be in. It quickly becomes too late when you cannot decide who is more demented: Erin wanting to murder to feel like the famous serial killer she obsesses over or the professors knowing what Erin is capable of as they have experienced this side effect before? Quadrant is absolutely another entertaining project under the direction of Charles Band. Band has embraced filming in and around Cleveland, Ohio with a small casts, interesting concepts, and the cool vibe of Full Moon finding their second or third wind in bringing fans fun Full Moon projects they want to see as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.
Cemetery Man (Blu-ray) – For most horror movie fans this 1994 Italian classic from Michele Soavi is known as Dellamorte Dellamore but for American fans the name was changed to Cemetery Man when it landed in the U.S. Well Severin Films you went and did it!!! They put together one hell of Blu-ray package of the classic as for some horror fans they declare it to be the last great Italian horror film? It has been a good many of years since I last watched it as I still had my grainy bootleg unrated version. By some chance you were living under a rock and have never heard of this perfectly hilarious zombie film let’s dig into it. Dellamorte and his assistant are employed at the cemetery to take care of “the returners”. Dellamorte believes it could be end of the world but the select few in the village know this is an important job that could only be done by Dellamorte. Simply he is in charge of putting the dead back in their graves after rising from the dead. Blow to the head every time! Things get real interesting when Dellamorte meets an absolutely beautiful woman only known as “She” after burying her older husband and falling in love as she dies suddenly also. Dellamorte begins killing more of the living than the dead without repercussions and keeps running into different versions of his former love. This zombie film is super bizarre and beautiful at the same time as it balances between love story and hardcore zombie film that feels like a weird fever dream at times. The music, the colors, the music were all made for this to get the special treatment for horror fans to enjoy. But also it is loaded with extras: commentary with Michele Soavi and Gianni Romoli, interviews with Rupert Everett, Michele Soavi, and Anna Falchi along with a cool archival makin of segment. This is Severin Films crown jewel of their catalog is a must own for horror fans as I give it 4 stars.
Once Upon a Time in Amityville (On Demand) – Welcome kids to entry #62 of the Amityville series as Mark Polonia this time around sets it in 1846 when all the horror began and Amityville just became a town. Mr. Polonia calls on the usual suspects to come in and help (Jeff Kirkendall and Tim Hatch who are two of the many Polonia suspects) as two bounty hunters come upon a new town of Amityville looking for a wanted man they believe tried to hide in town? Immediately the bounty hunters are a little unsettled as the town seems a little strange but unsure why. Once they learn the criminal they had been tracking was strung up for a crime (or evil sacrifice) in town they must deal with a town that believes in evil. Compared to a lot of the entries this was actually kind of refreshing but will say the old west was never this clean but gotta give Polonia and crew credit for finding a great location to use for the film. Surprisingly entry #62 is a solid watch and believe Indy horror fans more than mainstream horror fans will quite enjoy the fresh take as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
I Puke on Your Grave (VHS) – An hour long movie that has random scenes of murder from horror films that you may or may not have seen? Not totally sure what this project was going for as there was no horror host or ‘Faces of Death’ aspect to it as I can only give it a ½ star.
Lowlifes (Tubi) – A simple story of an average family on their annual corny road trip in the old RV who runs into two backwoods types. Before you say “I have seen this before” they try to make it very uncomfortable like this average family is gonna get raped or murdered or both in the first 15 minutes? But hold on a second there is car trouble and we the viewer quickly learn the tables are turned in this project as the average family from L.A. are vicious cannibal bastards! I quite enjoyed this take on a genre or cliché that has maybe seen its better days so thank you for this as I gotta give this project 3 stars.
Cookies for Christmas (DVD) – This short film is a wonderful take on mixing horror and the Hallmark movie formula as Lacey a young woman returns from the big city to little town Christmas time. Unbeknownst to Lacey and the small fictional holiday town are about to get a horrific visit from Santa Claus! Filmmaker Adam Raynes who is behind the project may have something here in this Hallmark inspired horror as he understood all the ugly cute holiday plot points. Kudos hitting on all these main plot points of a Hallmark holiday film as I believe you may wanna take a second crack at expanding this short film into something bigger but just as fun as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
The Only Ones (DVD) – First off I gotta give credit for the misdirection of this film as a character tells the story of Boneface trying to scare friends as they travel to a secluded cabin in the woods. Six friends just trying to scare the shit out of each other, drink beer, and enjoy quiet time in nature. But once shrooms are introduced that is where it all goes downhill for the group as someone is shot by accident. The friends try to discuss and clean up the mess but fight over if authorities should be involved as it just snowballs from one thing to another. There is solid structure to this film as it plays out more like a thriller than a straight up horror film. This feels like something that may get a small cult following on a streaming platform sooner than later as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Guerrilla Dogs (DVD) – Another BPO Films project from Blake O’Donnell that just had me laughing a lot because it stars the present day Indy version of the “Three Stooges” with a little more thoughtfulness in storytelling from Blake O’Donnell, Ben Dietels, and Ryan Lintner. Their unique style is once again on display as they are “The Keepers of the Cause” and holding a man captive for ransom as he could be important for “The Effect”. These weekend warrior types believe they are doing right by hiding out in the woods and keeping Mr. Money captive. The films runs a little long but the boys go from one hilarious scenario to the next as they try to live off the land and keep this man until they get their ransom. Literally this is one of those movies you never heard of but would be happy when you did as you witness the hilarity as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.
BPO Films Mixtape Volume 2 (DVD) – The three ultra talented dudes (Ben Dietels, Ryan Lintner, and Blake O’Donnell) made a series of short films over the years that deal with garbage, thumb wars, sex, realtors, a pizza guy, drinking on St. Patrick’s Day, etc. The fun never stops with these guys as it seems they are constantly filming something so get ready to laugh your ass off as I give this project 3 out of 4 stars.
Attack of the Corn Zombies (DVD) – It is the 1960s in a small Midwest town where they are having their annual corn festival. This past year some folks used an experimental fertilizer on the crops to help them grow faster but really didn’t do as advertised. But unbeknownst to the townsfolk all the corn was contaminated by this new stuff. Quickly after ingesting the corn people become zombies who attack those who haven’t. Now a small group of folks are just trying to survive the corn zombies so they can get out of town. I enjoyed this Indy zombie film as the first key was they understood “you are not reinventing the zombie genre”. Second key of this film being entertaining was I enjoyed the corn growing out of the infected… that was really a nice touch that some may never would have given a second look. Third key was having a solid Indy cast that felt like everyone was casted correctly. The film had a vibe of the 70s cult film ‘Toxic Zombies’ meeting Jim Roberts’ ‘Welcome to Deer Creek’ as I gotta give this Indy zombie project 3 out of 4 stars.
Air Fryer Slaughter (DVD) – The Matthew Mark Hunter and Matt Skinner project about a killer air fryer is finally out there for horror fans to enjoy. It is the simple story of an air fryer going rogue for not much reason other than it is hungry for human flesh and … apparently sex? The film is full of Indy names and hilarious infomercials as the air fryer hops around town after it murders someone. As the bodies pile up the cops refuse to believe its prime suspect would be an air fryer as it slaughters its way through most of the cast. When the appliance isn’t killing someone or giving a blowjob, the air fryer is trying to help sell merch ‘Evil Bong’ style! Even though the film gives off that ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ vibe it does run 20 to 25 minutes way to long like the film ‘Rubber’ (movie about a killer car tire) and felt like it gets away from what the film was supposed to be about halfway through. Just my opinion but I gotta give it 2 out of 4 stars.
Bed Bugs (DVD) – A Matthew Mark Hunter project from 2021 where a group of children head out for some trick or treating. At each house they get a scary story as Matthew and crew check all the boxes as the kids get to hear about the boogeyman, zombies, a kid seeking revenge, the devil, and vampires. This is a nice project to introduce some of the younger crowd to Indy horror as I give this film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Quadrant (Full Moon) – Charles Band is back in the director’s chair again with a movie that deals with AI and if yinz seen ‘Aimee: The Visitor’ then fans will quite enjoy this computerized treat. The film revolves around two professors who have come up with a revolutionary process called “Quadrant”. A process that no one has funded yet but they believe using their experimental helmet and computers hooked to a person’s brain and connected to an AI world that allows said person to get past their mental issues or get past the fears that haunt them. They mean well with their Quadrant universe firmly believing this will help patients embrace and defeat their fears but it needs volunteers? In comes Erin, a beautiful young woman who is extremely obsessed with Jack the Ripper! She hears of the experiment and wants to be a part of it. Erin is different from the other patients as she does not fear being a part of the universe as she wants to live it, feel it, and live in it. With each treatment Erin embraces Quadrant that much more blurring the lines of reality and the Jack the Ripper AI world she wants to be in. It quickly becomes too late when you cannot decide who is more demented: Erin wanting to murder to feel like the famous serial killer she obsesses over or the professors knowing what Erin is capable of as they have experienced this side effect before? Quadrant is absolutely another entertaining project under the direction of Charles Band. Band has embraced filming in and around Cleveland, Ohio with a small casts, interesting concepts, and the cool vibe of Full Moon finding their second or third wind in bringing fans fun Full Moon projects they want to see as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.
Grossfest got some excellent news this week from Jessa Flux about her fulfilling her dream! We support this and already have it in the works of working to bring her in for Grossfest 2025? So of course we always have a list of great independent people to bring in so let’s waste no time greeting and introducing our next two guests for Grossfest 2024 as they are super talented and sure yinz will love them:
Roni Jonah started her career as a professional wrestler, managing Mike “The Miz” Mizanin. From there, she became a staple on the indie film scene, appearing in nearly 80 films. Including fan favorites Shark Exorcist 1 and 2, Thrust, Deadly Dealings and The Wicked Ones among others. Definitely keep a look out for Roni starring alongside Erin Brown (aka Misty Mundae) in the upcoming Scream Dream.
Jason Crowe, a Kentucky native started his film career with a bang, landing the lead role in the now cult classic zombie film, “Dead Moon Rising.” Since then, Jason, a “fearless” actor known for immersing himself within a character, won best actor for his honest portrayal of Josh in Harvest Lake, and has continued on in films such as The Bad Man, Space Babes from Outer Space, The Wicked Ones and Hooker with a Hacksaw.
Infinite Santa 8000 (Blu-ray) – One of my favorite Indy releases over the years is an animated feature from two brilliant minded people Michael Neel and Greg Ansin. Funny thing is it has been about ten years since I first reviewed this masterpiece of cinema coming to DVD. Now finally getting the special edition treatment through a great company Synapse Films more people will get to witness the glorious movie that I have talked about for years. This is a mind-blowing post-apocalyptic animation set thousands of years into the future where Santa still thrives or now just survives looking for people who still have the Christmas spirit. We begin with a narration to catch up the viewer “of how we got here” as Cyborg Santa is about to ‘Thunderdome’ with another in order to win sacks of meat as food is scarce in this world. Yes folks, our future are super violent, robots have taken over earth, and Santa must fight to survive but he still lives in the North Pole! What keeps the jolly bastard going these days is a robot girl named Martha who when not training loves to hang out with Santa in his workshop and hear stories of Christmas past. But after a mysterious visitor one evening Martha is kidnapped from Santa’s Ranch and we are off to the races with complete chaos as Santa and his robotic reindeer jump into action to chase down an evil rabbit! Martha’s and our holiday hero discover this is only the beginning as a thing from the past Dr. Shockleton and her mutant army are on course to not only to rid the world of the Santa menace but to reshape the world into her own. For movie nerds out there let me break this down: imagine elements of the film Wizards, Adult Swim programming, scenes from the original Terminator and Mad Max films, and a character that is a straight up an old school Bond villain, and a soundtrack that feels like lost audio tracks from early Slayer mashed together into this beautiful piece of animation that in the end is all about the Christmas spirit! And what is even better is this is the director’s cut with extended and new scenes added including a little look into who Dr. Shockleton is after credits?! To me what makes this even more special is the short interviews with the voices of the cast so you get to see and hear who these talented people are, the original 13 part web series of this project, audio commentary from the dynamic duo themselves Michael Neel and Greg Ansin, music videos, plus more than anything this feature being on Blu-ray I believe makes everything in this feature pop and look even better than it ever did when watching it ten years ago on YouTube and such. This brilliant piece of holiday cinema will make a great addition to horror fans’ collections but also yearly holiday movie watching for years to come as my opinion has never changed giving it 4 out of 4 stars and now officially can be found at www.synapsefilms.com .
Cryptids (Dropbox) – Justin M. Seaman and Zane Hershberger at no time are not working on a project as they put together with some other filmmakers an anthology that uses the “Mothman Festival” as a back drop and the legendary movie host Joe Bob Briggs as Harlan Dean a radio host for a program about Cryptids. For this week’s show Harlan has asked callers to call in with stories that deal with cryptozoology! First story deals with a legend of “Melon Heads” or young people who were experimented on instead of being taken care of by their doctor and escaped the facility to live in the woods. Second story is about a park ranger and his partner facing off with a group of Sasquatches deep in the woods while looking for lost campers. (Which I quite enjoyed the ending) The third story is the hilarious entry of the bunch that I think holds the anthology together of a man who disappears in the woods after he finds a monstrous fish creature and has what seems like an acid trip? This story works well for where it is as it releases a little pressure of the tension that was built up by the first two stories. Fourth story is set on Halloween where a fisherman brings home a mysterious rock/large egg thing that he wants to use for his set up that night. Problem is the thing hatches and now little ghoulish things are running rampant through the house. The fifth is about two chupacabras chasing down individuals in a building for the fun of the Mexican cartel who watch it on closed circuit TV. The last story involves two young men who decide to have a monster hunt for a mysterious animal that may or may have not been eating all the neighborhood animals recently to set up a prank. The anthology comes in at a brisk 76 minutes with all entries being quite delightful and entertaining experiences into cryptozoology. The project is well casted, well shot, as has Justin and Zane showing off their talents once again in the world of low budget filmmaking as I give this anthology 3 ½ out of 4 stars.
The Last Christmas in the Universe (YouTube) – The fine folks from Spain that have brought you the over the top brilliant work of “Fist of Jesus” and “Brutal Relax” have returned with a post-apocalyptic holiday short film. It is December 25th next year?! Everything has gone to shit and a gang of brutal thugs are about to kill a man but Santa has arrived because even though everything is just about dead Santa has a job to do as long as there is still one good person left. Santa and his magical bag of presents turns the fight to the death into a fantastic holiday splatterfest that includes Santa playing ‘Twister’ (the version of the game here in the US) with the thugs’ body parts in order to save this one good person. Need some dark humor in your Season’s Greetings look no further than this absolutely fun gorefest that will just make you smile like the days of unwrapping all those cool presents as a kid as I give this wonderful holiday short film 4 out of 4 stars. Also these talented people are in need of your support so please check out www.patreon.com/RedParty to help.
Mean Guns (Tubi) – This little known film has direct-to-video from 1997 written all over it as its about mobsters in a new prison staring Ice-T, Christopher Lambert, and Thom Mathews among a few other familiar faces. The real plot of it is getting all these members of the ‘syndicate’ who may have made a mistake or two recently and weed them out. Three out of a hundred are allowed to survive and collect a share of ten million dollars? But Ice-T has plans for all these evil bastards in the end as he plans to screw them all in this 110 minute “not totally sure if there was a real plot” action crime/action flick as I give it 2 ½ stars. P.S. think of this as Albert Pyun’s version of ‘The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly’ in a prison?
Adrenalin: Fear the Rush (Tubi) – A weird post-apocalyptic flick of sorts from 1996 starring Christopher Lambert where at the time Russia falling apart causes a bio-weapon germ to leak out and destroy most of Europe. Now some years have passed and this so-called germ has mutated and possibly causes the human race to become a super cannibalistic infected thing that infects people by touching them! This nasty thing has shown up in a ‘Control Zone’ and the local police chase it down in some tunnels only to become the hunted as the government knows what a disaster it could become. To make it even more fun we get Andrew Divoff playing one of the mysterious government types in this lower budgeted but effectively fun cat and mouse ‘infected’ film that I give 2 ½ stars too.
Blue Monkey (Blu-ray) – You know the story of John Vernon happens to run a hospital that so happens to be testing a laser thingy? Well of course some old dude gets pricked by a foreign plant at his woman’s greenhouse that basically gives him a heart attack and a weird bacterial infection. The infection eventually sends the hospital into lockdown which randomly has Joe Flaherty from SCTV and his pregnant movie wife at the hospital trying to give birth. It has nothing to do with the story but come on we all love Joe! Meanwhile Steve Railsback and a doctor are trying to track down the infection that has mutated into a creature with a Nintendo gun… That is before the government just runs and burns the place to the ground because they consider it a “Class 4 Quarantine”. The 1987 film was also known as ‘The Insect’ and that is most of what I wrote for a review several years ago for this movie. For as much as I am not a huge fan of this flick it does have a solid cast and believe this new transfer of the film to Blu-ray adds to the rewatching experience. The Blu-ray version is not as dark and colorful in spots that wasn’t highlighted throughout the film whether it was the creature and its lair in the basement of the hospital or just giving it even more late 70s TV movie look? Anyway I believe this helped me enjoy the film a little more and give it a little more respect a second time around as I give it another ½ star (2 stars overall now) for this B-movie madness.
Bad CGI Gator (Tubi) – Danny Draven for Full Moon tries to go the old SyFy Channel and Roger Corman route with fully knowing there is an independent movie out there called “Bad CGI Sharks” with making a simple quick film here. The movie takes place in southern Georgia (or out in the woods of Cleveland) where young college kids come to party and try to trend on their social media accounts by throwing their laptops into the pond! A gator lurking by gets electrocuted by the laptops and grows so next thing you know this mutated animal is doing (dated reference here) Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon shit all over the cottage. The movie only runs 58 minutes which is a good thing as the movie wasn’t bad but if it makes sense at all wasn’t that interesting as it seemed like one those projects you question “why was it made now?” Anyhow it’s out there and I still enjoy Full Moon but can only give this project 1 star.
Caddy Hack (DVD) – Killer gophers on a golf course in a no budget flick I am usually in for but a “Caddyshack” parody forty years later sounds like a project that should have never left the paper the script was printed on? Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed the killer gophers in this flick but there was a lot of filler in order to fill a running time. I am not saying don’t watch this film has there does look like these folks put a good amount of time and effort into it but next time go watch “Zombeavers” before you tackle a project like this? Or take a cue from the short film classic “Night of the Hell Hamsters”? Anyway for those of you that are weird like me and have to watch it… a shitty golf tournament at “The Old Glory Holes” golf course is in jeopardy when Hambone the groundskeeper accidentally mutates the gophers with his experimental fertilizer spray (not pesticides as listed on IMDB) in turns has the little bastards grow into a horrible “Gremlins” remake! Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy ideas like this but sometimes they just need to stay ideas if that make sense as I give this unneeded parody 1 star.
Toga Party Massacre (DVD) – This rare SOV flick made out of love and no money returns from 1989 to be available again for us completely nutzoid Indy fans. This horror parody gets in and out in 39 minutes as two young ladies have a toga party (even a dated reference at that time) after the parents head out of town. The party is rocking along until two dudes show up late (one wearing a Helloween shirt, kudos) to tell the story of Frankie Robertson that kills the vibe of the party! Now a mysterious man in a mask shows up to kill everyone, is it Frankie Robertson? This is one of those early SOV films that are so bad but so much fun as I laughed several times throughout giving it 3 stars and advise all fans to track this down for some fun.
1962 Halloween Massacre (DVD-R) – College school project, regular Indy project, whatever it is considered this is a film that takes place in 1962 following four friends to a party in the middle of nowhere. As no one dies for the first forty minutes of the film a mysterious killer stalks the party if you wanna call it that as it’s only a party when someone has to die as 99% of the film is focused on these four kids. There is a good idea of a serial killer film somewhere in here but what doesn’t help the project is the film is a very talky horror film. Lots of banter between the four kids driving to the party that continues throughout the movie like the filmmaker had something to prove? Or wanted to say I am smarter than the viewer which never flies these days. Either way if you can through the endless dialogue you will see what I mean about there is a good film somewhere in there it was just not made simply as I give this project 1 ½ stars.
There is Something in the Barn (On Demand) – A holiday horror delight that will baffle horror fans “how wasn’t this in theaters again?” It is Norway at Christmas time as a family has inherited a home in Norway and decided to move from the U.S. to this beautiful landscape. With that in mind the parents decide they are going to remodel the barn to turn it into an Air BnB or something within the year. But their son has different plans as the young boy learns of the barn elves and discovers they have one. The boy wants to respect the barn elf but the parents begin to follow through on their plans and that is where the holiday fun begins with the elves looking to kill all involved! It sucks not many got to see this entertaining horror film this past season but have a feeling like ‘Violent Night, Fatman, and Christmas Bloody Christmas’ horror fans are going to be adding this fun holiday horror to their list next year as I give it 3 stars.
Thanksgiving (On Demand) – It is the Grindhouse trailer turned into a feature that horror fans screamed for years. I have a whole theory on that but let’s get to the review first. For the first time ever the Right Mart store in Plymouth, Mass., is open on Thanksgiving and these people are vicious. A riot happens because the stupid humans want their waffle irons. Many are injured and a few are killed. One year passes by and it’s that time of the year again but some teenagers are receiving social media posts that they are invited to a creepy dinner as a mysterious figure in a John Carver mask has taken to slaughtering the residents who were apart of the riot. Its bloody, it’s fun, turned out better than I thought it would to give us a modern day Thanksgiving slasher that I give a solid 3 stars too. Now on that theory part of this film finally getting made? Should this been made a few years back when the whole ‘black Friday’ thing was more of a thing, yes. Should he have brought this to life after “Machete, Hobo with a Shotgun” got out there, yes. But Eli Roth working on other projects that either had horror fans frustrated fans or them happy as I believe this was a project he always intended to do but never found the right time? Now a little more mature in his filmmaking ways and a good chance of we will never know for sure behind the scenes he may have been forced to make this project when no one seen it happening because he was about to lose it? I have been critical of Eli Roth in the past as some will know but this feels like a Carpenter move by Roth in understanding what fans want but also understanding he is a fan also? There is more to this theory but I think you get what I am saying as I think it was good we got this horror film as it may have not been perfect but believe overall horror fans will enjoy it for years to come.
The Loch Ness Horror (DVD) – For the love of Rutger Hauer what the hell are yinz kids doing over there in the UK making this dumb bullshit? A ship goes down after searching for the mystical creature. Now, an exec cobbles together an unlikely crew for a rescue mission which of course isn’t true soon as you see the characters arrive on a docked ship that never leaves port. Yes this is one of those reviews where I point out all the dumb shit! Anyhow if the CGI monster and ocean isn’t enough be sure to pay attention to the storm that doesn’t get anyone wet, the radar on a cell phone honestly people you are on a fucking large navy vessel, the boat is supposed to be moving and the dude driving it is somewhere in the basement of the boat and yes I said basement because that is where this film should have stayed, or pay attention to the characters as the male characters look like bad extras from a fishing show and the female characters seem they are dressed to have drinks on their little rich yacht! Details PEOPLE! This wasn’t just bad this project is stupid bad and makes me question why I keep watching these things as I give it 0 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
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