Tag Archives: horror

Gross Movie Reviews #484

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Gross Movie Reviews #484

 

Elevator (YouTube) – All around cool filmmaker Jim Stramel is back with his latest short film that involves a woman and a man who get on an elevator together. They do not know each other but it is about to get very interesting… Both take turns having their worlds going weird and gory. Could it be sexual tension? Just two deranged individuals happen to get on the elevator? Or is it something even stranger? You be the judge as this was a cool treat to see from Mr. Stramel as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Vacation Massacre (YouTube) – Oh the digging I go looking for ‘massacre’ films as unearthed this unknown S.O.V. flick that’s claims 2001? A few kids head out into the woods with their pump action pellet guns to go hunting. While out there they come across a dead body that begins a series of events once back at their tent. They awake in the morning to it all being a dream but then it all begins to actually take place. Not bad for a couple of kids that most likely stole the parents camera for filming but seems to be a bit unfinished? Anyway if you are a fan of S.O.V. stuff it’s fun checking out this 2 star project… Yes, there is much worse out there.

 

Welcome Home, Brother Charles (DVD) – Charles is up to no good as usual because bottom-line is he needs to make his money and isn’t gonna let the ‘man’ get in the way. But after meeting up with partner at the local hotel they have noticed they are being watched by the ‘man’. The two run in different directions with Charles getting picked up by the police. For what charge not totally sure but one detective isn’t satisfied with running Charles down but beating him up while in handcuffs and then taking a straight razor to his manhood. For this Charles gets three years in the slammer. After being released Charles is a reformed man and wants to stay out of trouble. Understanding it is tough he meets up with a new woman and stops her pimp about to put a beat down on her. Things are looking up for the two until that damn white cop that damaged Charles manhood is considered a local hero on the news. This sends Charles into a rage of revenge as he tracks down the individuals that wronged him, hypnotize their wives, and then strangle the white men with his snake like dong! No shit people I was not expecting this to go down and made for an eye opening exploitation flick. Well worth the watch for super dong and the ending as I give it 3 stars.

 

Dead Teenagers (DVD) – A college student heads to the library and comes across an odd notebook that is on the floor called: “Book of Lore”. He sits to read through the book that happens to have four tales of terror inside: ‘The Boo Men’ is about a young man facing his fear. ‘Full Moon Lighting’ is a tale of a young man coming back from Europe with a secret and finds his ex-girl has one of her own. ‘Skeleton Keys’ is where a young woman heads to her dead grandma’s house to sort out some things. ‘Suckers’ happens to be about a young man who is about to be out of a theater job because it is closing. But first he must fend of vampires that have infested the theater. This was literally one of those middle of the road anthologies. None of the tales sucked out loud but none of them stood out either so take that for what it is as I give the anthology 2 stars.

The Banana Splits Movie (On Demand) – I am ecstatic this film exists! Was it perfect, hell no but it was a fun gory mess of a horror film. So-called film critics, “GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF!” Why this as many other recent horror movies just upset you just to get your clicks I will never understand and maybe that is a good thing. Go be miserable for your clicks somewhere else… Anyway who would have guessed the internet joke that appeared late last year would become a reality? Was it a test or was it something always in the works? Doesn’t matter now as the horror movie is based off of a late 60s kids TV show in present day. Harley’s birthday is today and his family has plans to take him to a live taping of his favorite TV show. While the kids pour into the studio for the live taping it is learned back stage that the robots/Banana Splits will not be needed any longer as the show has been canceled. As the show must go on the Banana Splits have their own agenda as they go on a murderous rampage and kidnap children for their more evil show. I won’t get into too much detail so some of yinz horror fans can enjoy this project but I would have liked a more detailed reason on the reason for the Splits going chaotic? Like I said, “not perfect” but the project was entertaining and gory as I give it 3 stars.

 

Ghastlies (DVD) – Another Brett Kelly project released from Camp Motion Pictures that five years ago has aliens landing on Earth during a cult ritual. Now present day four ladies head out to a remote cabin for some sorority girl ritual or of course just a weekend of partying. The nerdy girl of the group wonders about and finds a VHS tape and plays it. On the tape is a young woman warning anyone who watched it that she is most likely dead but hopes the things she trapped in the fruit cellar/storm basement are also. Once disturbed the puppet creature/aliens begin to devour the humans at the cabin. Their main goal is to eat mankind one human at a time. Always been a fan of Brett Kelly so I looked forward to checking this one out but seem to be a little of a letdown. I thought I was getting an Indy version of “Gremlins”, “Munchies”, or even “Ghoulies” but came off as more of an unfinished project or a couple ideas cobbled together and not seen entirely through. I may only give this film 1 star but still a fan of Mr. Kelly and will be always on the lookout for his next project.

 

Nemesis 5: The New Model (DVD) – You know me I cannot stay from these sequels especially when the opening that explains the movie doesn’t make a whole lick of sense? In the distant future a young girl is sent into the past to be trained by a warrior named Alex to become a savior in the future to fight the Red Army. She is mostly robotic but has more human traits than other cyborgs that helps set her a part in her goal of helping mankind. I spent most of the movie trying to figure out why they didn’t fix the past if they were able to send someone back to be trained? Yeah it is nothing like Albert Pyun underground video classics we remember but you know me if they continue the series somehow I usually end up watching it as I give it 1 star.

 

Hell House LLC (Shudder) – So people come in and decide to investigate and put together a documentary on the tragic event of October 8, 2009 called “Hell House”. It is five years later and still no one has answers to what exactly happened to this Haunted House attraction that on opening night kills 15 people including the group that help build the haunt inside. Through found footage we learn the group begins to experience weird things as they live inside this old closed down hotel and turn it into a cool haunted attraction. The head of the group Alex is hell bent on keeping the haunt going so opening night they can make their money. But as the group begins to question why they are still there Alex convinces them it will be worth it once the lines grow outside opening night. When the attraction opens, chaos begins as things and demons appear, blood flows, and people begin running for their lives. A pretty decent horror flick that paranormal fans should enjoy as I give it 2 ½ stars and a better alternative to the “Grave Encounters” films.

 

Hell House LLC II: The Abaddon Hotel (Shudder) – Two years have passed since the interview with a survivor or supposedly a survivor and the disappearance of the reporter Diane. Now a woman who runs a blog is interested in the mystery and wants to investigate the hotel for some tapes that may explain everything that actually happened in the hotel and explain the event in 2009? Her and her two man crew recruits the man behind the documentary and visit along with a medium that has a new show he wants to promote. Once they walk in they soon have been checked in and become part of the legend called Hell House. Some good scares again and begins to explain some interesting back story that makes both of the films an interesting watch and rewatch as I give the sequel 3 stars.

Bad Moon (DVD) – Michael Pare is Uncle Ted out in Nepal doing work. One night Ted and his assistant decide to get buck wild when a bad ass werewolf rips through their tent and tears them a part. A couple months go by as Ted is state side and contacts his sister. Unbeknownst to the sister and her kid Ted has been changing every night ripping through any hiker or group of people wandering through the remote woods. Now the authorities investigating the brutal murders of a possible animal attack Ted moves his trailer to his sister’s house but the family dog isn’t having it. As Ted slowly slips away into the wolf taking over night after night the family dog takes upon itself to attack to protect the family. Great screenplay, great cast, cool werewolf effects, and an awesome fight between the family dog and werewolf! A wonderful 1996 werewolf movie that is unknown to a lot of horror fans. This is always my first film I mention when crazy people always say, “There isn’t any good werewolf movies.” Example: THIS FILM as I give it 4 star stuff right here werewolf fans!

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Second guest announcement for Grossfest 2020

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For our second Guest Announcement, we searched the deepest and darkest parts of the independent film community and wound up at a Circus?!?!?
With such hits as “Dollboy” and “Circus of the Dead” and with his latest film “Cowboys from Hell” shaping up to be all sorts of amazing! From the heart of Texas, we proudly bring you for the first time to the Washington/Pittsburgh area, the baddest man to hold a guitar since Jimi Hendrix, Mr. Billy “bloody bill” Pon!

First Grossfest 2020 announcement!

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A guest announcement I believe all independent horror fans will be delighted to see in person… You may have seen him in recent independent films such as “It Stains the Sands Red”, “Another Wolfcop”, or “Meathook Massacre 4”? His career has recently taken off and he will be seen in several upcoming horror projects. But like me most know him as the director, writer, and actor in the recent masterpiece “Pool Party Massacre”.  I am happy to introduce you to Drew Marvick!

P.S. Vendor table info coming soon!

 

Grossfest 3: Season of the Gross

July 25th-26th, 2020
The George Washington Hotel
60 South Main St.
Washington, Pa. 15317

www.thegeorgewashington.com

www.grossfest.com

Or find Grossfest on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram

Gross Movie Reviews #481

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Once again he has been drinking and writing again!

 

Gross Movie Reviews #481

 

Troma’s War (DVD) – A late 80s Troma film that I have always avoided for no good reason. I have always been told by a lot of Troma fans this might be their least favorite of the first generation of Troma films… That isn’t a bad thing, it’s not like the film exactly fits the mold of Troma at the time but who knows? A plane full of Tromaville people crashes somewhere in the area of the Caribbean Islands. Unsure exactly what happened or how survivors are scattered trying to figure out how to survive on the island. But bad news for the survivors as they explore because there is a group of renegade armed personnel preparing for war! The survivors must fight for their lives in order for survival and possible rescue. Overall the movie is a Troma flick but seems to be missing something but also it does run much longer than it needs too which can be bad for any movie as I give it 2 stars.

 

Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal (DVD) – Imagine a direct-to-video flick about an airplane hijacking that takes place during a death metal concert on board a plane. Sounds awesome but is completely disappointing as Rutger Hauer like everyone else shows up for their paycheck as a bootleg of a bootleg of a bootleg Marilyn Manson dude named Slade Craven goes all Steven Seagal on people. Including flying the fucking plane to safety! It begins with the F.B.I. tracking down a hacker who hacks into the concert footage. The agent goes rogue to arrest him until while doing that someone is murdered on the plane supposedly by Slade Craven? Then it turns into we are going to crash the plane into some small church in Kansas City that happens to be the ‘Gates of Hell’ to bring about Satan. Hate to tell you filmmakers even Satan is disappointed in your schlock you put on film and God isn’t thrilled either since I had to watch it as I give it crap! I love Rutger Hauer and this had a great cast but this film is a prime example of actors just doing a job for a paycheck or fulfilling a contract with a studio.

Massacre Up North (DVD) – A Canadian S.O.V. flick from 2001… Yes, I know they were still shooting on video in 2001 that is a whole other conversation. But anyhow the film opens with a couple rubbing privates together until someone in a medieval knight costume starts slicing and dicing them. This happens because 20 years ago a young kid is burned inside a tent during an innocent camping trip by his father accidentally. Upset with the world as Leslie goes through life with scars he kills his parents to make it look like an accident and sets up the rest of the film. Not totally sure where the knight costume fits into the Leslie’s murderous wrath but it is the climax of a movie that leaves you asking questions like: Why was I watching this again? I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Past Midnight (DVD) – This little thriller starring Rutger Hauer, Clancy Brown, and Natasha Richardson is absolutely amazing treat from 1991. Ben Jordan has just got out of jail on parole after 15 years for killing his wife and unborn child at the time in 1975. Once out he must see his social worker Miss Mathews who believes he might be innocent so she begins to dig. She takes such an interest in the case it blurs her vision on what is actually right and wrong. This allows the story to linger and keep the viewer guessing until the last four minutes of the film of wandering if Ben is the actual killer. A fun first viewing of this Rutger Hauer film that will now go into my regular rotation as I give it 3 stars.

 

MIB International (Theater) – So they made another film trying to branch out without having Will Smith or anybody else that was connected to the originals. This takes place over in the U.K. (again that is why it’s called International… I guess). Anyway there might be a mole in the agency that might be leaking secrets again and it’s up to a vet Chris Hemsworth and a rookie Tessa Thompson to figure out how to save the world. Maybe it’s me; maybe it should have been left alone? But this entry was horrible as much as I may have found a movie that will put me instantly asleep when needed. I was expecting a little more because of the chemistry between Hemsworth and Thompson but for me at least it just never happened. Overall I just wanted Tommy Lee Jones back if that was possible as I give this poor or maybe just uninteresting entry 1 ½ stars.

Teenage Zombie House Massacre (DVD) – A 36 minute film from 2000 that was shot in black and white from some dude in Ohio that has long disappeared from the independent scene. This sort of feature is based around teenagers who decide it would be a good idea to party in the local haunted house that has a history. By the time they get settled into the abandoned house to rub privates if not themselves with lots of drinking it is too late. The zombies that have been lying in waiting for victims to come to house are out and about and eating the partying teenagers. This film is so rough but is a fun reminder of the independent stuff that popped up randomly in video stores in the late 80s. So for nostalgia effect thank you but overall this movie needed lots of work but you had me at the title as I give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

House Guest Massacre (DVD) – Alex Vincent of “Child’s Play” fame goes the route of John Saxon in doing a film himself sort of. The film is now known as only “House Guest” I am guessing to resell it to horror fans that didn’t catch on the first time around? But anyway Alex wrote the screenplay, stars in the film, and composes the music in this modest budgeted $100,000 plus Indy film where he and his sister have a party. Jen and Rob’s parents are out of town and invite a select few friends in for a fun night of drinking. Until the one dude’s father shows to hang with them: spoiler alert he is the killer if you didn’t guess after seeing the dark black hair dye ten minutes before he arrives at the door. Besides it being weird dad shows up to hang out with mid-twenty something son he kills any chance of this film being interesting of his son getting it on with Jen! Now, I wasn’t expecting the next “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” but if Alex Vincent didn’t have anything to do with this film everyone would just laugh at this film even being thought of. Prove me wrong as I give this a ½ star for trying to fit in a senior citizen as a crazed serial killer.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Yes people we are lazy and Grossfest is this Saturday but we do have five new episodes for you!

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This time around Tim, Kyle, and John take on 3 more flicks.  The first being the biggest movie Hollywood has ever put out in AVENGERS: ENDGAME.  Then we tackle on of the most amazing independent movies we have ever seen in THE HEAD HUNTER.  And finally a classic that Kyle has never seen in THE HAZING.  So download this come see us at GROSFEST this Saturday.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This time around we tackle 3 finer genre flicks.  The first being the 3rd in the action packed trilogy in JOHN WICK: PARABELLUM.  Then we got an offbeat aquatic slasher in AMSTERDAMNED.  And lastly Jamie Lee Curtis shoots some dudes in BLUE STEEL.  So download this episode and join us at GROSSFEST this Saturday.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This time around we are covering 4 more genre flicks.  The first being a sequel to one of the most infamous movie of all time in I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE: DEJA VU.  And then we are on to an Argento giallo in FOUR FLIES ON GREY VELVET.  Then it’s a weirdo French art flick featuring an outer space fuck octopus in POSSESSION.  And lastly we have the king of the monsters in GODZILLA 2019.  So join us at GROSSFEST this Saturday and have some fun.  BRING BEER!!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

On this week show we pay tribute to the greatest football player of all time and one of the best genre actors we’ve ever had… JIM BROWN!  First we watch an all-time classic that Kyle has never seen in THE DIRTY DOZEN.  Then it’s off to a great slick of Blaxploitation in SLAUGHTER.  And finally we have Jim teaming up with Lee Van Cleef in EL CONDOR.  So download this show and join us at GROSSEFEST this Saturday.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week around we bring you 3 more flicks from the back alleys of the internet.  First (much to Kyle’s chagrin) we have a weirdo DAN HAGGERTY joint in MIND TRAP.  Then we cover a SHUDDER joint from Australia in 100 BLOODY ACRES.  And lastly we chat about the newest Netflix jam in THE PERFECTION.  So listen to this epic show and join us at GROSSFEST this Saturday.

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #478

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Gross Movie Reviews #478

 

The Beast of 20,000 Fathoms (DVD) – A classic, a dull classic but considered a classic from the early 50s where those damn humans haven’t learned anything and have scientists testing atomic weapons in the Artic. The latest test awakens a dinosaur that is awaken from its long sleep and begins eating people and making its way to New York. The fans of this film will give you two reasons to watch it: first of course is Ray Harryhausen as this was the film that really got his name out there and second is a small role for Lee Van Cleef who became a favorite actor of many of the next two or so decades. I find it kind of dull but still a must watch every ten years or so as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Running Man (DVD) – It is 2017, and life we know it is no more as society has collapse and now run very differently. The biggest thing in this world is a game show called, “The Running Man”! It is where prisoners get a chance to live if they can make it through this dangerous course full of stalkers who are trying to kill them. A prisoner named Ben Richards played by Arnold Schwarzenegger has just happened to break out of prison with two other fellows. He has caught the eye of game show host Damon Killian. Killian wants him for the show for ratings and once he got him he was right as Ben and friends are not about to die quickly. As they begin fighting back in the course and killing stalkers they also want to find the resistance as they want to steal the uplink code for the satellite and show the people all over the world they are being lied too. An amazing action filled flick with lots of Arnie one liners, over the top violence, and sense they were not too far off predicting the future these days. 4 star flick all the way!

 

Hellboy (On Demand) – The remake, reboot whatever you want to call it that wasn’t needed. By no means is this film bad it is just Ron Perlman is ‘Hellboy’… Like Robert Englund is ‘Freddy’, and Kane Hodder is ‘Jason’. They own the role so it’s very tough to put forth a different version of that character out there to the fans. It is the retelling of the origin story of ‘Hellboy’, think “The Amazing Spider-man” it looks the same but something is missing? And in this film if it isn’t the Del Toro and Perlman tag team magic then it was the really bad CG effects at different times throughout this film. The movie is entertaining but for me at least doesn’t hold a candle to the first two films and by the way they were not that old as I give it 2 stars.

Zoombies 2 (On Demand) – Same director and writer are back with a film that doesn’t have anything to do with the oddly fun film that was released a couple years ago. This time around some poachers come to a jungle island trying to capture animals. But a special toxin that was made to shoot the animals with instead of bullets is used it turns the animals into zombie animals that are attacking any human. Here is the kicker human blood is the antidote for them. So the poachers, animal researchers, and a tough ass ranger must team up to survive this catastrophe! The first was hilarious in a good/bad way and seem to be a lot of fun where the second entry seem to maybe overthink this concept and lost its charm along the way that made horror fans interested the first time around as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Stranger Things Season 3 (Netflix) – Just like everybody else I was interested in where the Duffer Brothers go from here with the group and the alternate world that had been closed for good last season. Now summer of 1985, the group are becoming full blown teenagers and growing a part at times but when a mysterious darkness crops back into Hawkins again it gets the kids and Hopper back together again and there are RUSSIANS! For the love of Joe Pilato they open with a Day of the Dead scene and pay attention to episode six has the music. I love the series as it is fun, entertaining, and doing the 80s nostalgia right. This is four stars all the way and I believe if they are going to stick out at least one more season it would not surprise me if Chernobyl is involved? Just saying since the Duffer Brothers have made it a point of doing things in order in the 80s world… Either way like most I will be waiting the new season whenever that will be.

 

Cannibal Cop (DVD) – Another recent Donald Farmer flick that has a dirty cop in Detective Warbeck roughing up criminals in New Orleans. What the officer doesn’t know is he is being stalked by a young lady who wants to bring to light the police brutality that goes on a nightly basis. She gets footage of a drug dealer killed by Detective Warbeck but the local news station isn’t interested so the young lady still stalks him. But to Warbeck’s surprise the drug dealer has a final wish and that is to become part of the undead for revenge. Once undead he attacks and bites Warbeck making him ‘Cannibal Cop’! The usual no budget gore with lots of filler. I like the cast but what the script was most likely should have never been feature length as I give it 2 stars.

 

Finding Purpose (DVD) – A non-horror film review here which is rare for me as this flick is from John Reign who decided to make a drama on $5,000 or that is at least what IMDB claims. Anyway John wanting to dedicate his film to fallen U.S. troops and what it means to him crafts a story about two brothers and their adventure together. John Kayhill and his two Army vet buddies from their outfit 25 years ago are still trying to find where they actually fit in society as they struggle mightily. John a little more struggle than his two buddies because he has been taking care of mentally handicapped brother. The state comes in and removes Rod from John because they declare him unfit and if he doesn’t get his act together he will also be homeless. Distraught and not knowing what to do he speaks with his two buddies who help craft a plan for John to go get his brother from the group home 20 miles away. After police get wind of the escape they now start investigating the whereabouts of the two. Both John and Rod get into some heated trouble just trying to stay together and doing the right thing by helping others. The story is great and can be even a little tear jerky if you have dealt with something like this? Wasn’t thrilled by the whole stripper angle to the story but it was needed for where the adventure was going. A more perfect running for the film is most likely 85 minutes than the almost 100 it is but I am picking at little aspects of the film. John and cast should be proud of the tale they got on film as it is a wonderful drama done on no budget that is better than 99% of the other dramas that are shoved down people’s throats these days as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Strange New World (YouTube) – Another ‘ABC Movie of the Week’ find starring John Saxon from 1975. In present day the scientific team of three is sent to space for a suspended animation experiment on themselves for a short period. During their sleep meteors destroy Earth as they know it and people back home put into the computer a certain time frame to keep them sleeping. Doing this helps when it is safer to travel back to Earth and find the underground facility that is doing the same experiment. The team of three awakens in 2155, 180 years later and find out what happened. With Earth still there they go back and begin their journey into the unknown where they find almost caveman types surviving in the jungles and people that clone themselves to live maybe forever? It is no “Damnation Alley” but I am always in for a watch when John Saxon is involved as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #476

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Gross Movie Reviews #476

 

Slaughter (DVD) – Jim Brown stars as the title character who wants revenge against a mob in Mexico who has killed people close to him. Slaughter is a no nonsense dude that fucks anybody that gets in his way of his revenge. Even though the F.B.I. uses him to help get the job done because the mob has never seen him Slaughter uses the F.B.I. for their resources. Jim Brown is wonderful in kicking ass but also has an equally cool piece of shit villain in a super racist young Rip Torn! This film is more fun than serious and doesn’t have that Blaxploitation feel even for being released in 1972. I have always been a fan of Fred Williamson but this film help open my eyes to some of Jim Brown’s work as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Dirty Dozen (DVD) – An all-star Hollywood flick about a secret group of Army men that are needed to go into hostile territory during WWII to take out as many Nazi officers as possible. Think “The Expendables” decades before the concept is thought of! Almost all that read this review had that parent or grandparent that would watch this on TBS, AMC throughout the years. It is one of those unforgettable flicks where Lee Marvin is a Major that is tasked with a group of prisoners he must whip into shape in a short amount of time to take on this secret mission. They all must become and move as one or die of a quick death on the battlefield or in prison if they do not cooperate. Rewatching this film I still believe the film stands the test of time. The film is violent, funny, and has that right mix of characters that you understand why so many people watch this film over and over many times as I give it 4 stars.

 

Beaster Day (DVD) – This is one of those recent B-flicks you have so much hope to be a fun bad flick to watch and talk about: “Sharknado”, “Woodchipper Massacre” is two examples. This fails horribly! A giant Easter Bunny is eating people throughout a small town as the holiday approaches but the only hope is a crazy focused dog catcher. Now I am not expecting hundred million dollar creature effects but I am at least expecting some half-ass idea why the giant crayon drawn bunny is there eating people? Nope, the vicious fucker is just there eating people while the mayor tries to smoke weed and keep his town calm so their kids could still do their egg hunts… This feature proves I don’t enjoy everything bad and for that I give this 0 stars.

 

Curse of the Mayans (YouTube) – A modest budgeted film from Mexico that takes on Mayan 2012 legend of something big happening. The film follows a scientist who is tasked by a billionaire to find the secrets of the Mayans for his private collection. Problem is the scientist may have stumbled upon what really happened to mankind all those years ago. Their expedition goes through a very dangerous jungle that is watched over by drug runners. They are allowed passage but warned to not disturb anything. The scientist and his group find an underwater cave that leads downward and has these Mayan drawings that were never seen before explaining the events years ago. They also awaken the ancient aliens who have laid dormant that whole time also that Mayans defeated. The movie is a bit boring at times but was shot beautifully. I cannot poop all over this movie for one I believe this movie was shot for a certain audience and us Americans suck when it comes to understanding foreign films. Two, the wide shots, the action shots, I enjoyed the cinematography. It is better than 75% of the big budget stuff we are forced fed in the U.S. on a regular basis and for that I give the film 2 stars.

Slaughter of the Innocents (Blu-ray) – Synapse Films has just released a wonderful special edition of this serial killer film that wasn’t forgotten but maybe a bit lost in horror fans memories. This film was one those HBO premieres from the early 90s that took advantage of the door that was opened by “Silence of the Lambs”. We forget there was a dozen or so serial killer films that used cable channels and direct-to video for their big premieres as people’s movie watching habits were changing again. This feature starring Scott Glenn as F.B.I. agent Stephen Broderick was one of those early 90s movies that was well-crafted but unrealistic as a lot of us seen but maybe doesn’t get nearly as much press as the ‘Hannibal’ series did? Five years ago there was a brutal murder in Utah that was solved and now in present time (1993) a new murder and kidnapping has happened that fits the profile. Agent Broderick travels to Utah before the killer is put to death trying to explain he never felt good about the guy that was arrested. Sadly the man is put to death and this murder that fits the profile pops up and has Broderick’s interest. He wants to not only find out why this guy disappeared for five years but how he has never been found during that time. So with the help with his borderline genius son they track down the real killer who happens to be a religious nutjob who believes he is leading up to something biblical. Now true it is very unbelievable that in today’s society that a kid no matter whose kid would be allowed to travel across several state lines to help investigate murders. The movie does ask for you to suspend what you know but putting that aside for future drunken conversations with your horror friends, the film is rather fun, fast-moving, and beautifully brutal at times. You have a serial killer movie friend in your group make sure you drop this one on them as it will blow their mind how cool this film still is after 25 years. The Blu-ray special features are pretty damn cool with its deleted scenes that all feel like they belong except one that were most likely cut out for time restraints than just not fitting? Also there is an alternate assault sequence that had a different actor and reasons for changing the scene which is very interesting and I never knew existed. Plus there is a wonderful interview with a much underrated talent Gabe Bartalos talking about all his effects in the film. And the fun blast from the past topper for memory sake is the original HBO promo spot! This serial killer film is not perfect by any means but still deserves 3 out of 4 stars and as usual 4 stars for the package as Synapse Films once again hits it out of the ballpark. For more details on the Blu-ray please go to: www.synapse-films.com .

 

The Island (Blu-ray) – This was one those movies from the 80s that was on list that haven’t track down to watch until now. It stars Michael Caine as a reporter Blair Maynard who wants to travel to Florida and some small islands surrounding it to investigate the mysterious disappearance of ships in the Bermuda Triangle area. He takes his young teenage son with him to bond as he got stuck with him because his ex-wife ran off with her boy toy to Dallas. As Blair investigates he tries to bond with his son by going fishing. They are attacked by pirates who have somehow have lived off of the grid for hundreds of years and now are convinced in recent years to survive they must attack vacationers. Why is because most people would just chalk up as lost at sea or it is the Bermuda Triangle. Now instead of investigating Blair must survive David Werner and others as they plan to brain wash Blair’s son into joining the pirate life and continuing their bloodline. Not a straight up horror flick but fun for summer watching as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Tammy and the T-Rex (YouTube) – Here is a B-movie from 1994 that I literally thought someone made up. You know one those rumors about a film that exists but actually doesn’t and has gained internet fame as an urban legend of existing. Well folks it exists and I absolutely loved it as I couldn’t stop laughing at how silly this movie was and the cast it had. Tammy and her new boyfriend Michael are in love but of course Tammy’s ex-boyfriend believes she belongs to him no matter what. So Michael keeps having run-ins with the ex and keeps being warned he will get killed. One night Tammy and Michael’s hot kiss fest in Tammy’s bed is interrupted by the ex and his gang as they leave Michael beat up and in an animal park where he is attacked by lions. Michael ends up in a coma at the hospital from the attack and neurosurgeon/evil scientist guy who just happens to have built a robotic T-rex has a plan to bring it to life. With Michael’s brain of course! The dinosaur experiment works and next thing you know what seems like a PG-rated Disney film has a dinosaur going to a party and slashing and smashing to death Tammy’s ex and his gang members. This movie is complete chaos and bad, but a wonderful hilarious bad that stars a clean shaven George ‘Buck’ Flower, an absolutely fresh and hot and before batshit recent crazy years Denise Richards, an equally hot fresh Paul Walker, Terry Kiser, Sean Whalen, and John Franklin just for horror fans minds to be blown! As I laugh my ass off thinking about the film I give it 3 stars just for being so damn entertaining.

 

Demonic (DVD) – A paranormal group convinces a friend he needs to visit a house his mother was at over twenty years ago. He keeps having dreams of his mother when she was younger in what is called “The Livingston House” because there was several murders there years ago that this small southern town would like to forget. The group believes he can find the answers he has been looking for there. They go and set up for the night only to unlock something the house hasn’t seen over for over twenty years. The film does star the talented Maria Bello and doesn’t really break new ground in this paranormal genre but does give a watchable horror film about a demon trying to enter our world which is more I can say about a lot of the films in this genre as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

It is almost here!

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Gear up people cause its almost here:
Guests for Grossfest 2: Fred and Shelby Vogel, Justin M. Seaman and Zane Hershberger, Dustin Wayde Mills, Craig Everett Earl, Justin Channell, Glenn Berggoetz, Henrique Couto, Brian Paulin, and Tom Savini. There will also be independent authors, filmmakers, and cool vendors… Plus independent movies will be shown all day. Remember things are subject to change…

Saturday, July 20, 2019 (Vendor room 11-7, Movie room 11-10) $10 admission includes both

DoubleTree Hotel
340 Racetrack Road
Washington, Pa. 15301
724-222-6200

Anything else please visit us at www.grossfest.com or visit our Grossfest Facebook page.

Gross Movie Reviews #475

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Gross Movie Reviews #475

 

Mind Trap (YouTube) – Another Dan Haggerty classic was unearthed from 1989 but oh I was wrong as Mr. Haggerty was much underused in this feature and has the look of being on set for one day. What else doesn’t help is when you go search everybody involved with the film on the Google machine this was pretty much it. Anyway in this weirdo film where a cat is used as a weapon Dan Haggerty plays an agent for this girl Shana. She just happens to be casted in several B-films that she quite enjoys but might have her big break coming. That is all put on hold when her father is killed by the KGB for his mind control research. Shana’s father built a dream room under their house but has only seen it once but the KGB kills the rest of her family trying to get it. Shana plays a weird game of cat and mouse if that is what you wanna call it with the KGB as she uses her movie skills to take them on. This movie is actually very terrible and found myself laughing several times because how bad it gets. Also the film disappointed me greatly as there are very few scenes of Dan Haggerty… I may have to go rewatch “Night Wars” or “The Channeler” as I give this a ½ star.

 

100 Bloody Acres (Shudder) – An Australian film about The Morgan Brothers who make organic manure. These two brothers recently hit it big with a big name client as they have a special formula of manure that involves dead bodies. If roadkill isn’t available any dead human will do. Brother Reg who just picked up a dead body from the side of the road picks up three music festival goers believing he can just drop them off and get with the hot redhead Sophie. Sophie is everything to Reg as she sings the golden oldies and still has some country girl in her. But things go south quickly as both of her boyfriends find the dead body in back, but too late Reg has gotten them to his older brother. Now the only thing in the way is Reg protecting Sophie from being grinded up in the manure by his big brother. One mishap after another result in 80-year old pussy eating, a cop who is best friends with the brothers being shot, and Sophie admitting she actually likes Reg and not the two guys she is with. It’s weird enough and gory enough the film is a very pleasant surprise of a horror film as I give it 3 stars.

 

Deadly Games (YouTube) – Apparently this 80s or 70s slasher but actually thriller has reappeared again for people to watch for free and how it gets you to watch is it stars a young Steve Railsback and the legendary Dick Butkus. Anyhow Billy Owens who just reopened the local town movie theater and a cop Roger Lane got this weird war buddy relationship going on. If that isn’t enough everybody in this west coast town is married and banging everyone else except their spouses to the point I thought I was watching the wrong movie when the pool scene came on. Because everyone is bumping uglies a masked killer who also happens to be a peeping Tom begins killing off people. There really isn’t an ending and this weird movie formula works on some level so if you got some time to kill give this a try as I give it 2 stars.

 

Shazam! (Theater) – Captain Marvel, ha-ha caught you sleep reading… Anyway DC lets this family film out about a 14 year old kid named Billy Batson who becomes a superhero that is strong as Superman because his heart is pure. He is picked by a wizard to carry on the Shazam tradition and defeat the evil power of the Seven Deadly Sins. Billy being a runaway who doesn’t have a family learns what the most important thing is having a family and that helps him defeat the evil Seven Deadly Sins. But what does this have over Batman and recent Superman flicks: it’s funny, interesting, a great origin story and it isn’t Batman or Superman. The sooner DC universe learns you can dig deep into your comic archives without having the big two involved the sooner we can see more cool flicks like “Shazam!”, “Wonder Woman”, hell even “Aquaman”! This is the most family oriented comic book hero film I have seen to date and its great as I give 3 ½ stars.

 

Monster Island (SyFy Channel/DVD) – Just when I thought SyFy Channel turned into the Harry Potter network they pull this Asylum Entertainment project out of their ass that stars Eric Roberts as a Navy general. A giant volcanic monster named ‘Tango’ or giant star fish has risen from the deep depths of the ocean to cause destruction on Earth. But there is a legend of a monster called ‘The Living Mountain’ when brought to life it will kill the giant magma filled starfish. Yes it is their version of the new Godzilla movie but if you enjoy silly shit involving monsters then grab a beer and enjoy Eric Roberts talking to himself as I give it 2 stars.

 

Await Further Instructions (DVD) – This is a post-apocalyptic oddity as it takes place at the holidays. The news keeps reporting strange going-ons with the U.S., China, and Russia like WWIII is about to happen, then blackness. The plot is the son comes home with his Indian girlfriend to meet mum but the family is super racist. Once they figure it is a bad idea it is too late as they wake up early to leave but the house is covered in a black metallic substance and a message on the tele reading “Await Further Instructions”. The family quickly turns on each other as they believe the girlfriend is infected and the father only believes what the tele tells him. What is outside and how to get out is unknown? A super weird flick that has that uneasy “Videodrome” and “The Mist” feeling to it with an ending that will just leave you asking a shitload of questions. I give it 3 stars as your homework assignment is to go watch it report back to me!

Revenge of Billy the Kid (DVD) – If you are looking to fulfill your British film weirdness well this film about the McDonalds on an isolated island will do. These back woods farmers called the McDonalds sell their crops to mainlanders but try to keep to themselves on this island. Well the father McDonald gets all horned up one day walking with his prize goat and yes he makes it his mate! Little time passes as the goat of course gives birth to a mutant. The one young woman Ronnie that lives on the farm gives it the name Billy and tries to take care of it until it runs away. When it is all grown up Billy’s ugly ass comes back for a killing spree of the family! If you need more bestiality in your life this 2 star film is all you.

 

The Perfection (DVD) – A thriller with a couple bizarre well written twists takes place in the music world. A cello artist named Charlotte who was as perfect as god according to her teacher had to leave the famous music training school to take care of her sick mom. A decade passes and a new prodigy has risen named Lizzie. Charlotte tracks her down along with her old teacher to get back in the music world. Lizzie and Char hit it off immediately and head off for a little vacation but Lizzie is not feeling well at all. Lizzie is later found all drugged up on the side of the road by herself and missing something. Without saying too much the film takes a couple turns in the story that you will not expect and quite enjoy the finish. Don’t mind you see some blurred out man meat from Steven Weber it’s all part of the process as I give it 3 stars.

Shed of the Dead (DVD) – Trevor is a man living out his fantasy world in his shed when he isn’t hanging with his buddy Graham playing some Dungeons and Dragons type game. Trevor and the wife don’t get along and he is in between jobs and now the neighbor Kane Hodder wants him evicted for not taking care of his lot. Trevor as Casimir the Destroyer always knows what to do but in the real world Trevor hates life until… the zombie apocalypse hits and Trevor tries to decide should he save his wife and just hang out with his friend Graham who finally was able to leave his house. There is also a couple other fun names in here: Brian Blessed who does voiceover, Michael Berryman which may own the most famous recent death in a movie to become a zombie? (He is dressed as a leather horse with a butt plug, you need to see it just because!), and Bill Mosley as Doc who is excited the zombie apocalypse has happened. It is a clone of “Shaun of the Dead” a bit but don’t let that dissuade you from enjoying this entertaining zombie film that needed more Kane Hodder as the Canadian. For that I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019