Tag Archives: Asylum entertainment

Gross Movie Reviews #579

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Shark Encounters of the Third Kind (DVD) – Mark Polonia and his scuba diving stock footage is back to haunt audiences with another killer shark film that pretty much fails to be a fun shark flick. In this mess, big headed aliens have entered the earth’s atmosphere to clean up a past mess. The film not played for laughs is mainly about the aliens fucking with sharks and past alien abductees… Next time Mark do fans a favor go make another “Feeders” film instead of what? FIVE SHARK FILMS in two years that has stock scuba diving footage, the same actors and characters, and maybe 60 minutes of actual film between five movies that possibly has been splice together? Not to be critical or anything as I give this shark film 1 star.

Python Island (DVD) – I am not me unless I stumble upon a giant snake film from China that has alternate title of “Giant Snake”. The film sets the tone with a child getting lost on ‘Cannibal Island’ where the kid finds a magical tree that is protected by snakes. After being rescued and his village being ravaged by giant snakes years later the kid all grown up returns to the island with the right intentions to find a cure for his native island where they have been cursed with a mysterious illness. Lots of action, bad CGI snake effects, and people getting eaten keeps this interesting enough for weirdos like myself as I give it 2 stars.

The Devil Doll (DVD) – A 1936 Tod Browning film that is more of a thriller than horror than involves an escaped convict. A wrongly accused convict escapes with a partner from prison only to quickly inherit a secret that gets the man thinking of revenge on those who framed him? Using this certain power and costumes he is able to weave his way back into the lives of his old business partners. The film won’t blow you away in effects or what not but I found myself enjoying this character going to great lengths for revenge and making sure his daughter is well off as I give it 3 stars.

Starship (DVD) – Always looking for fun and dumb science fiction flicks so I give you this Aussie feature that is also known as “Lorca and the Outlaws”. The film is set on another distant planet where working conditions are shitty and an evil dude with an army of robots is trying to wipe out human rebels. There is a ship coming in from Earth and the rebels wanna use it to escape but the evil dude has other plans as he has been given orders to wipe out all human workers and replace them with robots. The movie can be a bit boring at times but I did enjoy finding another film that had Hugh Keays-Byrne in as hired gun to search for the great Lorca as I give the film 2 stars.

Amityville Cabin (YouTube) – So yes entry #38 for all of yinz counting is a short film that is available on YouTube about a no-budget film crew heading to a haunted cabin. Of course things go horribly quickly but not without the film crew basically winking back at the camera the whole time during this short film as I give 1 ½ out of 4 stars as I have seen much worse in this series.

The Barn II (Theater/rough cut) – Now understand horror fans the cut I and many others at the theater got to see is not a finished product. From what I know there is effects still being added, cuts needed still, and a couple corrections, the usual stuff but it is finally finished for us to all go enjoy. Anyway the lone survivor of events a couple years ago is off to college and in a sorority trying to help out with a fund raiser that just happens to be a haunted house or barn. As the small town folk struggle to get past the ban of Halloween being dropped people celebrate and head out in mass to the haunted attraction. But the demons/creatures seem to have some unfinished business and return. Lots of cameos that I wasn’t sure they were gonna work going in to see the film proved me wrong as I enjoyed seeing not only the big cameos but the smaller Indy cameos as they all a place in the film and didn’t feel forced. Without getting too much into as it being a sequel you Justin Seaman and crew wanted to make sure there is more monsters, blood, and Ari Lehman as I give the rough cut 3 out of 4 stars as this wraps up and gets me excited for what Justin and crew do in the future?

Bigfoot or Bust! (DVD) – A pretty recent Jim Wynorski film that has a group of women heading to the woods to look for Bigfoot (it is better you don’t ask why)! Their main task of doing this is shooting Bigfoot in the peen so they can get on T.V. and be relevant. Meanwhile there is also another group of women who come from 50 years in the future to find Bigfoot shit because it is worth millions in the future. Poor acting from the usual Wynorski acting staples, musical numbers, a trampoline (it is a dumb scene), lots of bad fake boobs, old T.V.s being thrown away illegally, and “The Good, The Bad, and The Bigfoot” skit litter this so-called film. Every time I watched hilarious garbage like this I do remind myself he made “Chopping Mall” as I give this 1 star for the mere reason the Bigfoot was actually entertaining.

Shark Side of the Moon (Tubi) – Asylum Entertainment has a new home to throw up new features since an unnamed network has become the ‘Harry Potter’ channel and that home is “Tubi”! So of course any crazy ass dumb shark film starts in 1984 Russia where the Russian scientists are experimenting with sharks and making them humanoid soldiers. The experiment gets loose and a couple scientists save the world by taking or sending the sharks to space depending how you look at it? Anyway 40 years have passed and NASA sends a crew to the moon to begin setting up for colonization of the moon. Sorry, nope, instead these astronauts find hybrid sharks who are surviving on the moon including populating it with plans to return to earth for world domination! But to the astronauts’ surprise they find the lone Russian scientist that knows about the experiment and a human/shark hybrid that is attempting to destroy all hybrid shark plans for world domination. I laughed a lot during this film for good and bad reasons but bottom line it was entertaining as I give it 2 ½ stars.  

Dead Zone (Tubi) – Jeff Fahey and Michael Jai-White star in a cheaper but possibly more entertaining version of the first “Resident Evil” film with special suits because the government is using dirty bombs to kill zombies as I give it 2 stars.

Mutant Blast (DVD) – This is one of those holy fuck gory post-apocalyptic zombie flicks out of Portugal where two survivors try to survive an onslaught of zombie chaos. One is military trained and stabs a lot of zombies in the skull, the other is some hung-over dude who happened to walk into this mess and eventually grows a rat out of his left hand that the rat’s mum comes looking for it eventually. If you enjoyed weird shit like “Bad Taste” and “Evil Aliens” this is your bag kids as I give it 3 stars.    

Massacre at Central High (Blu-ray) – This 1976 film always had that T.V. movie feel to me and it has never looked so wonderful than it does on this Synapse Films Blu-ray. A staple of early 80s cable for me and most likely many others as it was time to revisit this more than relevant film about high school students and write a new review. David is new to the high school and an old friend of Mark who David helped out a while back. Mark wants to introduce David to his clique as they get whatever they want. But it doesn’t take David long to know this small group are bullies and have bullied the whole school into submission. David tries to help out and walk that fine line of standing up to the bullies and defending those who have been bullied for a long time. But after an attempted rape by this clique and David beating them up they pay him a visit and cripple David. Now David just wants revenge, but there is one problem as he gets rid of the bullies, new ones pop up causing David to think bigger in ending this vicious circle of life. The film is over 45 years old and more relevant now than then and seeing it at a young age I may have never comprehend the movie’s subject matter? What makes this film great and David’s plotting relentless is the characters were perfectly casted (Andrew Stevens, Derrel Maury, Robert Carradine, Kimberly Beck, Ray Underwood, just to name a few), there is no adults getting in the way for most of the film, and most likely any person that has or will watch this film/Blu-ray know or have known one of these characters at this school in the film. Again it’s over 45 years old and the film still has realism to it. Along for the ride on the Blu-ray is some audio interviews, trailers, and a very cool documentary that if a fan of the film will have you ‘nerd’ out on who they got talking about the film? A pretty cool release for your physical media collection from Synapse Films as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars, for more details go to www.synapse-films.com .

River of Death (DVD) – Actually been looking for this Michael Dudikoff film for a while as it seem to be out of print until recently as it is popping up everywhere on streaming services and physical media. Our film begins in 1945 Germany where a series of events has a couple Nazis screwing each other over to escape capture or death but also to continue some evil Nazi experiments. Flash forward twenty years in the Amazon jungle Dudikoff (Hamilton) is guiding a doctor and his daughter through the jungle to find the source of a mysterious disease killing the natives. After getting captured and shot at Hamilton wants to go back as he believes he has found ‘The Lost City’ and that is where the doctor’s daughter was taken too. Problem, a lot of people are interested for their own selfish reasons including a Donald Pleasence he believes the Nazi doctor (Robert Vaughn) that screwed him over is alive and well! They all venture into the jungle to survive heat and cannibals to go find ‘The Lost City’. Dudikoff isn’t a ninja but this film was still damn entertaining as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #577

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Island of Blood (DVD) – Before we get into this lesser known slasher film/thriller from 1982 some of you might know this as “Scared Alive” or even it’s more popular alternate title “Whodunit” which is available on YouTube for free. Anyway we have a film about a film crew heading out to an island (stars Rick Dean and Steven Tash) where they are going to film a low budget horror movie. Most of who are involved are just trying to expand their resume but little they know is this film wastes no time offing its characters in a quick bloody manner. The unknown killer uses music to determine the death of their victim along with its little twist ending which makes this a must see for fans of the 80s slasher genre as I give it 2 stars.

Carver (DVD) – An unknown low budget Halloween horror film from 2015 about two kids who are bullied and go missing on Halloween because of a dispute of a pumpkin carving contest. Eight years have passed and the kids aka bullies are seniors in high school and this Halloween they all receive an odd carved pumpkin on their front porch to send a message of things to come that night? As the friends get killed off in gory fashion during the major Halloween party the film goes to a very dark and creepy place after the reveal of who the killer is… Great story telling, solid acting, but this film is missing the right music? The film’s composer or whoever decided on this almost literally steals “Carpenter’s Halloween theme”? It’s like they had no choice in music choices for the film except almost cross the line of just stealing the notes… This hurts this wonderful film overall as there are fun independent composers like a Matt Cannon or a more big budgeted Indy composer in Midnight Syndicate that would have sent this film from an unknown to an independent Halloween themed film us horror fans are talking about with the likes of “The Barn”! Yep, I went there as I like this film but the music failed it as I only can give this movie 2 ½ stars.

The Black Phone (On Demand) – I enjoy being late to films and social media unless its “V.F.W.” remember who told you that film was bad ass but anyway I finally found myself watching this new Ethan Hawke (aka maybe the new Rutger Hauer?) film. The film is set in 1978 Denver, where a serial killer or kidnapper nicknamed the “Grabber” is grabbing kids under 18 years old over a several month period. Finney and his sister Gwen talk about it but don’t think about it too much until Finney’s best friend gets snatched and Gwen has a dream about where the kid might be? From there it isn’t too long before Finney is grabbed by the “Grabber” who wears several faces and keeps him in a soundproof basement. The “Grabber” is fascinated by Finney as he doesn’t play the games with him the other victims did as Finney begins to talk into a disconnected black phone where it is the past victims trying to help? I honestly wasn’t expecting much from this flick after watching the trailer and seeing what others have said but I got to say I was pleasantly surprised with this horror/thriller and definitely give it my approval to all of yinz to give it a watch as I give it 3 stars.

Prison of the Psychotic Damned (DVD) – I must apologize to my neighbor Nathan for watching this with me over some beers that help make this paranormal Indy film any better. A group of ghost hunters investigate a supposedly haunted train terminal that was so horrible it makes me feel bad for the bad things I have said about “Grave Encounters”? I give it 0 stars and no the huge naked breasts at the beginning of the film don’t make up for the crap you threw in front of the cameras.

Evil Dead Trap (Blu-ray) – Excuse me as I reach deep into the Asian-cult horror film culture with this flick that I remember seeing once and only time on a bootleg tape in the mid-90s. A Japanese horror film from 1988 that gained a rep of a “must-see” horror flick through tape traders and bootlegs throughout the 90s. It is centered on a TV reporter Nami, as she has received a tape or more specific a possible snuff tape from a superfan? Nami makes a case she wants to investigate if this is actually real and her research takes her and a small crew to an abandoned air base. Nami’s ‘Late Show’ is struggling in the ratings recently and something like this would for sure put her back on top! The crew believes this is a fun idea until they run into someone with a split personality and brutally kills them one by one in this crazy, gory, over the top horror film that finds a way to go even beyond insanity with its ending. Honestly I can tell you the Blu-ray transfer isn’t too much different from the bootleg I seen as many others a couple decades ago did too but something tells me there wasn’t much source material to grab from? But there is three different commentaries in this package and a few interview tidbits that the cult following this film has will find pleasing as I give it 3 stars.

Avengers Grimm: Time Wars (DVD) – By some chance you wonder if I still watch some dumb ass shit, this is proof as I give this nothing as I feel like Asylum Entertainment should be paying me at this point?

Crosstalk (DVD) – In case “Demon Seed” among many others of the late 70s and early 80s computer horror films were not enough for you there is this Australian flick where the “i500” does everything and is about to go public, maybe? Ed is the main dude behind the i500 and finds a malfunction as the computer can control everything but things change after the computer causes a horrible accident for Ed that puts him in a wheelchair. Working from home on the new i500 and pressure from the company Ed is trying to figure out the malfunction but meanwhile the computer is learning and spying all who are around as both the i500 prototype and Ed are being pushed out by the company… I can only give this Aussie flick 1 star as it seemed restrained most of the time.

The Halloween Store Zombie Wedding Movie (DVD) – I absolutely love the concept and story is okay but the filmmakers failed with having full reign in a Halloween Spirit Store as the backdrop for most of their film as it also claims to have a $100,000 budget? Someone took the money and ran! Just in case you were curious an urban legend called “Ole Jeremiah” comes to haunt the store on Halloween night and traps a few employees, a soon-to-be-wed couple, and a fake paranormal dude cause he wants revenge for something that happened over a hundred years ago. Again I go back to you have full reign of a Halloween store for a horror movie and you give me some kind of half-ass carbon copy of “The Clerks” with more of a love story feel… Someone got robbed here and it wasn’t just the people who watched this film (me and about five other people) but filmmakers you should know better: Use what you got and neglect what you have as this film had potential but just makes me want to wait for the 50% sale at the Spirit stores a couple days before Halloween as I give it 0 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #524

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Gross Movie Reviews #524

 

Silent Night, Bloody Night (DVD) – A cultish holiday film for horror fans out there, that also stars the likes of John Carradine and a young Mary Woronov. The story begins in 1950 with old man Butler burning to death on Christmas Eve at his home that was once an asylum. Twenty years pass and the grandson rolls into town wanting to sell the place cheap. But someone or something is in the vacant home murdering townsfolk who had something to do with a strange Christmas Eve event that happened in the home in 1935. Slowly the truth comes out on what exactly happened and the townsfolk have a big secret they been keeping from everyone. The film is a bit slow by today’s standards but if you stay in the frame of mind of when it was made (1972) you will quite enjoy the buildup of the plot as I give the film 2 stars.

 

Monster Hunters (On Demand) – Another crapfest from Asylum that in years past would have been a Saturday SyFy Channel premiere because of it starring Tom Sizemore. Now don’t get me wrong Asylum Entertainment has had its good projects through the years. But more times than not some of these projects really look like someone made up the script day by day during filming after they got the main filming process done with Tom Sizemore? An elite military squad has been training secretively for the eventual alien invasion since aliens have visited several times through the years. Well they have to jump into action when a prison ship of aliens crash land on the planet or Sizemore is gonna nuke the crash off the face of the earth. This was gut wrenching worse than usual and most likely a project put together during the pandemic which didn’t do it any favors. But hey folks that is why I exist is to watch and warn you about films like this as I give it 0 stars.

 

The Wolf of Snow Hollow (On Demand) – Robert Forster is an aging sheriff with a heart condition and his son is a hot headed/alcoholic deputy who patrols a small ski mountain town in Utah. They barely give out tickets let alone get a homicide in the area until now. During the full moon women are being slaughtered by what looks to be a wolf but the deputy refuses to buy into the whole werewolf thing. But as the bodies pile up during the full moons and pressure from the local folk on the deputy gets worse they start to believe they are dealing with a wolf. A weird, corky, and a good amount of gore with a small twist made this an unexpected fun watch as I give it 3 stars.

The Spirit Gallery (DVD) – The story is about a young Christian woman named Gwen who fully believes art is a gift from god and is excited to work for an agent named Mr. Hall. Purpose for this job is for Gwen to feel closer to the recluse artist B.A. Catch as Mr. Hall is his agent. Mr. Catch is considered one of the greats but very few have seen his work as it is rumored his work steals the soul of his muses. Gwen almost obsessed with Mr. Catch finally gets to meet him and Mr. Catch is inspired again with Gwen as she has a true soul that inspires the talented Mr. Catch in working again. Her boss tries to warn Gwen but her love for Mr. Catch’s work and the individual clouds her judgment. The two go off to put together the best work Catch has ever done. This S.O.V. flick is more of a high brow story with a splash of Henenlotter that may surprise people who have never seen this film? For that I give this quite different film 2 ½ stars and the DVD has some cool extras for fans too.

Letters to Satan Claus (SyFy Channel) – A job driven woman Holly Frost is an investigator for her local news station. Ms. Frost goes undercover in disguise to break news stories but now has a special assignment that could put her at the news desk as a regular nightly news anchor. She must go back to her home town of Ornaments to cover their annual holiday event but Holly isn’t thrilled with this idea as she has changed her name since leaving there and never really had the Christmas spirit. See as a child Holly’s parents were killed on Christmas after Holly mistakenly wrote a letter to “Satan Claus” not “Santa Claus” to get rid of her parents! Holly sees this mistake when returning to her sister’s house and drunken does it again which causes Satan Claus to return. This time Satan Claus begins murdering people of this Christmas holiday driven community to gear up for a climatic fight with Holly Frost/Winters. It is one hell of a holiday cheeseball movie that only can be summarized as a Hallmark Christmas horror film that I give 3 stars to for being entertaining as hell.

 

The Demonic Surgeon from Hell (YouTube) – Hard working Indy filmmakers Alex Wesley and Philip Brocklehurst have a short film project about a surgeon (Clyde) who comes from a long line of surgeons. But this man is obsessed with the dead and a trinket filled with evil changes his life as it awakens a deep darkness inside of him that has him do unimaginable things! A well thought out premise that I would love to see developed into a feature as there is so many directions it could go as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Tales from the Hood 3 (DVD) – Honestly I do not remember there being a part two but I did enjoy the first anthology that was released so what the hell I will always watch a sequel… Anyway Tony Todd and a little girl are walking through a cemetery to a dark home that they seem to be hiding from demons? Here the little girl is told to be quiet by Tony’s character but they agree for her to whisper stories because she is scared. The first two stories were pretty good as they dealt with an apartment fire and a racist zoo. But the the other two stories deal with stealing a body and bad things happening to a criminal that just seem to kill off any interesting direction the anthology was going… for that I only can give this anthology 2 stars.

 

Toys of Terror (SyFy Channel ) – A house flipping family heads to an old vacant Children’s home/hospital in the mountains for Christmas. You know how we all do that right? Anyway, the plan is for the family to enjoy the holidays there while they get some work done to earn a big payday on the vacant place but things change when the kids find an old trunk full of toys. The kids are absolutely estatic to play with these toys as the family slowly picks up on they are evil and want the kids to be a part of the spirits that play with them. From the start you know what is going to happen but it feels like a lackluster reboot of Charles Band’s ‘Demonic Toys’ that fails trying to give the viewer even a slight scare. Also when am I gonna have a movie where the kids die at the end or about too and the parents say “fuck it” and save themselves? Come on filmmakers lets get with the times or I will have to just write a story about it as give this bummer of a holiday film 0 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #460

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Gross Movie Reviews #460

 

Anna and the Apocalypse (On Demand) – This is film is an absolute godsend from Scotland that smartly blends “High School Musical” and zombies in a fun and exciting way. Anna Shepard is going to be graduating soon and unlike her best friend who is going off to college she wants to travel. Of course her father isn’t all to happy and all Anna wants to do is get people out of ‘Thunder Balls’ bowling alley sooner than later. Anna and friends not caring or not paying attention to the rest of the world as a strange virus has struck all the major cities and turning people into zombies. Once a lot of singing about their lives is done in the first 30 minutes of the film the group of friends are faced with the end of the world. The end of the world is bloody and brutal but don’t let this film fool you as certain characters die off when you are not expecting. I absolutely loved the flow of the horror musical and how it is presented. Good chance this will show up my ‘Best of 2019’ as I give it 4 stars.

 

The Car: Road to Revenge (DVD) – Yes folks it is a sequel to the evil classic of the late 70s. But that is where it ends as I may have found the ‘worst movie of 2019’ already! After a district attorney dies on top of his new ‘Lazarus One’ it appears the car comes to life and has his personality. It begins murdering all involved… Boring piece of monkey shit needs to vaporized from any studio catalog or movie fan’s as I give it zero stars. And for the person who thought somewhere this was a good idea do me and all movie lovers a favor and quit your job… NOW!

Hexercise (Blu-ray/DVD) – So you claim you have seen everything? I bet you haven’t as a very talented Matt Cannon did a perfect job of bringing to life this homage to ‘aerobic horror movies’ from the late 80s. In August of 1969 a blood ritual is performed where the aerobics studio stands but it is stopped before completion. Twenty years pass and now there is a workout studio existing where a cute aerobics instructor named Kelly pricks her finger with her name tag. She bleeds on her boom box and floor and like black magic the ritual is back on! With this act Kelly has unleashed a demonic presence that is trying to kill all who work or attend the aerobics studio, including Kelly’s rapey boss. Everything is right about this film: the outfits, what I believe is a Commodore 64, lava lamp, T.V. and even the music makes this short film feel right. The twist on this homage is there is no dialogue as the actions of the characters tell the story. The film is in the same vein as the mid-2000s short film “The Misled Romance of Cannibal Girl and Incest Boy” and to me that is freakin awesome! I got to thank Matt Cannon for giving us horror freaks something we didn’t know we needed as I give this wonderful project 4 out of 4 stars. For more details on the film check out: www.facebook.com/Hexerciseordie .

 

Cold Skin (Shudder) – A way cool weirdo creature feature involving lighthouse keepers in the early 1900s. A young lad arrives to an island to relive a crackpot named Gruener. Gruener refuses to leave and wants to stay no matter what anyone says. But as the first nightfall begins the young lad soon understands Gruener isn’t a crackpot as some weird creatures come from the sea to land. Now homeless the young lad shacks up with Gruener learning secrets about the creatures and Gruener. A weird and twisted creature feature about the two lead characters coping with whether the creatures are there to cause harm or in the end actually live in peace. An amazing story that starts slow but grips you by the privates as it unfolds as I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

 

The Satanic Rites of Dracula (DVD) – An early funky 70s flick about Dracula where the authorities believe some of the prominent members of the community are part of a secret cult. When they begin investigating and get old Van Helsing they soon understand that Dracula is back and behind everything. But this isn’t Dracula’s old routine of wanting more vamps or some other non-sense. Dracula has scientists, biologists, etc. working on virus that is worse the ‘black plague’ something that would end the world including himself. Interesting plot twist this time around as it involves Van Helsing trying to lure Dracula to his death in some jaggerbushes! Yes they are real and I give this film 2 stars.

 

The Giant Spider Invasion (DVD) – Some strange occurrences have happened in the sky over a small Wisconsin town that has a couple scientists baffled. While they investigate what this event is all about apparently flesh-eating spiders of all sizes begin to invade the town for lunch! The scientists find a mini-black hole on the Kester farm and must act fast to close it or these spiders will grow in numbers. Some incest and some large ass spiders make it worth the watch but you have to fight through some very dull parts of the film as I give it 2 stars.

 

Bullied (DVD/YouTube) – A short film from a brilliant Nick Charles where a girl is bullied. The girl does the right thing and tells an adult about it but when it is ignored the little girl takes things into her own hands. A well said statement short film Mr. Charles as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

 

A Cold Night’s Death (YouTube) – An oddly familiar 1973 TV movie starring Eli Wallach and Robert Culp who play scientists that head to the Tower Mountain Research Center after losing contact with Dr. Vogel. It has been five days since they last heard from him and their research on monkeys is needed for space travel. The two soon find a dead Dr. Vogel and continue his work in order to finish the project in time. But some haunting things begin to happen as the days go by and it has been relayed to them that Dr. Vogel did not die of a heart attack but just mere exposure to the cold in a locked room with no one else. As the two keep fighting amongst themselves the answer is right in front of them but they figure it out to late. A fun flick to watch during a cold winter night as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Road Wars (DVD) – A 2015 post-apocalyptic flick from Asylum Entertainment that starts off wonderful involving a man who shows up in the wasteland with no memory. It is explained the world has gone to shit because of a virus that turns people into vamp-like zombie creatures. The virus acts like rabies of sorts that make them thirst for blood and stay out of the daylight. After the no-name man is taken in by a small group of survivors they make the decision to travel somewhere that a vaccine could be made or least tried. Problem is as I explain it sounds like a fun B-flick but it terribly falls apart as it is all over the place plot wise. Instead of trying to be its own movie it chooses to steal from several post-apocalyptic films and never fully committing to one storyline. Thus causing what could have been a fun B-flick to watch to a dog turd you wish would dry up and wish you never knew it existed as I give it 1 star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Gross Movie Reviews #416

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Gross Movie Reviews #416

 

Rage and Honor (DVD) – Cynthia Rothrock teams up with Richard Norton to kick drug dealers asses in this early 90s action flick. But Rothrock’s brother played by Brian Thompson is the mastermind behind all the drugs hitting the streets and ruining present day’s youth. It all boils down to a bad ass fight on top of a roof where Brian Thompson kicks both of their asses most of the fight. Fun stuff if you are a Rothrock or Brian Thompson fan, plus there is a sequel as I give this film 2 ½ stars.

 

Terror Birds (DVD) – Greg Evigan of “My Two Dads” fame has a grand plan when he finds some weird rare prehistoric bird on an island. His hope is to have a scientist played by Leslie Easterbrook figure out how the birds can successfully mate and the eggs survive? Six months pass and patients are thin until a man out bird watching gets accidentally eaten by the birds which set off a course of events that leads his daughter and friends to the sanctuary. Now the friends must fight their way off the land before they become the next meal. Hilarious random nonsense that I give 2 stars too.

 

Tekken: Kazuya’s Revenge (DVD) – Not exactly what was the end game of this flick but some dude with no identity is forced to be an assassin until he begins to remember a few things. I only watched it because I thought it was another video game adaption. It just might be but who cares, I’m old, it was kind of boring so let’s movie on as I give it 1 star.

 

Skinwalker Ranch (DVD) – Jon Gries is a man whose son disappears after some weird lights come by the farm. The film is a found footage film based on a true story of a place that is the new undocumented ‘Area 51’? Gries boy Hoyt disappears and several months later an independent crew of investigators comes knocking to try and figure out the mystery. Strange noises, ghost kid, giant wolf monster, and then aliens cause all the trouble. An interesting found footage film that I believe doesn’t want to totally commit to being a paranormal or alien flick but at least it was worth the watch. I give it 2 stars.

 

The Haunting of Whaley House (DVD) – Lynn Lowry is showing the ropes to a young college girl who has just landed a job as a guide to the most haunted house in America? While hanging out with friends they convince her to allow them to hang out in the house overnight since none of them really believe in ghosts? To prove it they bring a friend’s uncle who knows all about ghosts and spirits and try to communicate with the spirits in the house just to prove none of it is real. Once they do make contact they are locked inside and the Whaleys’ home and they would like their daughter back. But the young woman who has been working there does not want to go even if she does look like her. One by one the friends are destroyed by the ghosts until they have their daughter. Surprisingly this film is from Asylum Entertainment and there wasn’t any Sharknadoes, cheesy dialogue, or a giant snake. Just a pretty entertaining paranormal film which I do not say often as I give this film 2 ½ stars.

 

Scavenger Hunt (DVD) – A fun flick from 1979 that stars everyone except Burt Reynolds. A game maker Milton Parker (Vincent Price) is a millionaire from all the games he has invented for kids and families over the years. He dies in bed with his nurse playing one of his games so all his relatives close and distant come to the estate where they will be a part of a scavenger hunt? One last game that could land someone 200 million dollars! Even Mr. Parker’s help has a shot at it if they collect enough things on the list. This is one of many staples in cinema during the late 70s that got overused but usually seem entertaining when you were a kid. I give this cinema staple 2 stars.

 

It (Remake/Theater) – To be honest I wasn’t sure what to expect from this remake? The original film was a TV movie that sparked several TV projects adapted from King’s books in the early 90s. First half of the original was great and then the second half was total crap so I wasn’t totally sold on a remake. But in case you missed it Pennywise is an evil clown that roams the sewers of the small town Derry. Pennywise has been around since 1908 when some horrible egg hunt went wrong and many kids died. The town of Derry has had a very strange and twisted history as its death rate among children is more than the national average. Every 27 years he comes out to feed and take kids back to the sewers with him. But this time it’s different in 1989 almost a full year after Georgie died and his older brother wants answers. Along the way the kids are haunted by the evil clown as Pennywise wants to feed on them and their souls. The remake didn’t overthink the adaption and kept this horror flick creepy and entertaining as the kids make a pack at the end to come back if Pennywise every comes back to haunt the town of Derry. For me it was nice to see a very good horror flick from Hollywood that I wasn’t bitching about as I came out of the theater. If anything I am actually excited for ‘Chapter Two’ just to see if they can do a much better job than the 1990 version? I also believe this horror film creep out teenagers for years to come which is cool in my book as I give it 3 stars.

Moon Child (DVD) – Oh a lost gem from Todd Sheets in 1994 where he made a no budget, no problem post-apocalyptic flick. In this wasteland of a world people are dying from the plague and fighting the new government! A man named Jacob Stryker has escaped dark government scientists who were experimenting on him night and day. They of course want a new unstoppable soldier. Jacob just wants out in the world to go look for his son. The rebels want Jacob and his son on their side as they could be the answer for the plague. So there is a samurai/Stormtrooper dude with ninjas and bounty hunters trying to track down Jacob before he fully understands his hybrid powers. This movie is absolutely CRAPTASTIC! I love the mere balls Todd had just to try this type of film with not much money and just his passion to make it work. If anything this movie makes me respect Todd Sheets that much more because of the crazy car stunts that involve a Bronco II and a 1985 Plymouth Horizon. Oh and the main character turns into a werewolf also! This may not be his best work but this is the type of independent stuff I would like to strap to the face of some filmmakers to show it can be done with nothing but passion and the gore Todd Sheets is known for. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Independent horror fans it is coming… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out the Facebook group for details: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1883916838523111   

Gross Movie Reviews #402

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Gross Movie Reviews #402

 

Lights Out (DVD) – Maria Bello is a mom that is haunted by her past literally… A dead girl from her days in the crazy house still haunts her and now starting to haunt her young son. The older daughter stops having anything to do with nuttiness early in her teen years and left. Now her brother is getting the brunt of it she is worried. Every time the lights are turned out this ghastly thing appears until the lights are turned back on. A fun creepy ghost flick made for people under the age of 25 so enjoy as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Spy (DVD) – Surprisingly a funny ass movie that stars Melissa McCarthy, Jude Law, and Jason Statham. Melissa’s character sits behind a computer to help her super-hot spy agent through trouble when needed as she is his eyes and ears. When he is killed off supposedly it forces the agency to send someone in that the bad guys have never saw before, in comes Melissa McCarthy’s character. She goes into the field but it’s been a decade since she went through intense training. It is up to her to stop a sale of a nuclear device on the black market. Like I said it made me laugh more than I ever thought and for that I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Night Visitor (DVD) – A lesser known late 80s satanic flick about a high school kid named Billy. Billy believes he has seen his extremely hot piece of ass neighbor (Shannon Tweed) has been sacrificed to a higher power or lower power? He also believes it was his history teacher dabbling in some satanic stuff… Once the cops don’t believe him and think he is a possible suspect he visits a retired cop (Elliot Gould) for help. This little known film is worth tracking down for the watch because it also stars Michael Pollard, Richard Roundtree, and one of my favorite porn/horror actresses Teri Weigel! Think of it as a lighter horror/comedy that does not exist without ‘Evilspeak’ and ‘976-Evil’ being released first. I give the flick 3 stars folks.

 

Catacombs (DVD) – Just another example of missing the good old days of Charles Band and Empire Pictures. This flick takes place in the “Abbey” where priests go to further their studies. What most don’t know the priesthood in the 1500s banished some evil dude in the basement and buried it? Of course some young beautiful woman comes along and wants to study there too and it just happens the evil has awakened to start a bloodbath! Cheap, effective, and fun the Charles Band way you cannot go wrong. Example: there is a bad ass scene where a re-animated Jesus comes off the cross and kills one of the priests in the catacombs. We are talking a glorious kill here folks. In case you didn’t know this flick is a part of that new Blu-ray Empire Pictures box set that is limited. Another fun Empire Pictures flick gets 3 stars from me.

 

Shark Exorcist (DVD) – Some would say this idea was stolen from my mind in my sleep but the honor of bringing this glorious idea to life is Donald Farmer. A nun believes the world has betrayed her? So of course like all nuns that have been betrayed she kills a woman and throws her to the sea all in the name of revenge of bringing her a savior… And that is a possessed shark that bites a semi-good looking lady and possesses her to walk on land and cause havoc. Meanwhile, the host of a TV shows “Ghost Whackers” shows up to speak to the spirits of the sea to see why there is so many shark attacks? Once a brother of a priest named Father Michael is killed the priest becomes involved in solving this mystery. Who will stop the horror at Paris Landing Lake? Not totally sure but I believe Donald Farmer took some notes from ‘Roller Gator’ and shot a good random portion of the film at a fairgrounds for filler minus the Joe Estevez. Personally, I am just glad this film exists as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Six-String Samurai (DVD) – Ana amazing post-apocalyptic flick that ignores history and has the bombs go off in 1957 almost killing everyone. But Elvis is the king of Lost Vegas for 40 years and has just recently died. This means all the rock-n-rollers from all over the wastelands are trying to make it to Vegas to become the new “king”. But there is Buddy, who is just as good with his guitar as he is with his sword traveling across the wastelands slicing, dicing, and guitar licking his way to Vegas. Even Death is searching for Buddy so he cannot make it to Vegas. Death aka bootleg Rob Zombie fears if Buddy makes it he will be the “king”. Buddy must fight through the heat, Russians, other rock-n-rollers, the spinach monster, Death, and do it all while carrying along an orphan during his travel through the wasteland. The 3 ½ star film comes complete with the soundtrack done by “The Red Elvises”! Just watch the film and thank me later.

 

Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies (DVD) – In the Alps some dude has an experimental snow making machine that he is trying to impress a Russian investor. Investor gets hosed with green stuff and the local wildlife begins to drink it and we have zombies! Trapped on the mountain at a mountain inn at the end of the season a couple snowboarders must fight off hordes of zombies and an asshole that started the zombie infestation. Its ‘Dead Snow-lite’… Some fun effects and snowboarding zombies are cool but it makes you wanting another sequel to ‘Dead Snow’ as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Violent Shit Collection (DVD) – For those movie fans that may not know this is a thing. But the ‘Violent Shit’ movies are an independent creation from a German filmmaker named Andreas Schnaas. His first flick that took a couple years to make in the late-80s was a gorefest that made fans all around the world. Well this collection is a five film set of the first four films up to 2010 and the special extra bonus of ‘Zombie 90: Extreme Pestilence’. Andreas came up with a character named “Karl the Butcher” who becomes the most notorious serial killer around. He brutalizes his way through victims through the first film; second film has Karl Jr., continuing the killing spree, third film has both Butchers on an island gathering an army, and the fourth film takes place in 2023 after the apocalypse and Karl escapes from hell to kill his son but instead teams up with him to lay waste to all the gangs in the wastelands! These were some stuff of legend among independent film fans for the extreme gore scenes. I was never a huge fan of the series but respect the hell out of Andreas Schnaas and Timo Rose for their passion of making gory independent films they enjoy. And now many others in Canada and the US can enjoy them all together finally in their remastered glory. Synapse Films as usual takes the pain staking task of giving ‘Violent Shit’ movie fans what they want and that is a box set. And for that I give it 3 out of 4 stars as the five disc set is available through www.synapse-films.com .

 

The Hound of the Baskervilles (DVD) – A wonderful late 50’s Hammer flick; stars Peter Cushing as Sherlock Holmes who is hired to protect Sir Henry (Christopher Lee). Sir Henry inherits a castle but also a curse after his uncle dies mysteriously. The curse has haunted the family for years after a hound of hell attacked a relative. But of course Holmes is more than up to the task proving this all wrong and protect Sir Henry from certain death. Great old school Hammer stuff that I give 3 stars.

 

King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table (DVD/Vimeo) – Asylum Entertainment takes a stab at the “King Arthur” tale as Bootleg Sean Bean aka Merlin and King Arthur banish Morgana and her son from earth. 1500 years pass and Morgana and son are back from their banishment searching for Excalibur. But things have change and even the descendants of King Arthur are totally sure Excalibur or the stories are real until they are faced with Morgana. Morgana forms an undead army to do the job her son cannot do and that is to steal the Holy Grail and kill the descendants of Arthur. If that wasn’t enough we get some bootleg Mortal Kombat stuff for the climax of the film in order for Morgana to be killed. As usual fun B-movie stuff that needs to premiere on the SyFy Channel Saturday nights as I give it 2 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.facebook.com/ocotbercoast .

 

Rattlers (DVD) – A hilarious mid-70s flick about a snake professor who is making some extra bucks checking out some unprovoked snake attacks. The snake attacks all seem to happen after the military buried some bad stuff in an old cave in the desert. These mad animal B-flicks are great for movie watching parties as I give it 2 stars.

The Dark Tapes (On Demand) – The film is a series of “dark tapes” or stories over the course of several years that tackles evil or evil entities that exist. The series of stories are fun creepy feel that concern a science experiment with possible demons from a parallel world, how the paranormal affects a young couple in their new house, strange things that happen with Cam Girls, and a woman who changes and begins her fight with her nightmares after a horrible incident at a friend’s party. All the stories are different but have a similar creepy and interesting tone that will capture the imagination of movie fans who enjoy stuff like: ‘The Innkeepers’, ‘V/H/S’ and ‘Grave Encounters’. One of the more intelligent paranormal films I have the pleasure of watching. Without giving too much away I give this cool project 3 out of 4 stars. You can check out more about the film at www.facebook.com/thedarktapesmovie and www.thedarktapes.com .

 

Where Have All The People Gone (YouTube/DVD) – An ABC movie of the week in late 1974 of a family trying to deal in the post-apocalyptic world! The film stars Peter Graves as a father of a family who happen to be in some mountain caves when an eruption/explosion/earthquake happens. When they come out the radio is out and their friend is really sick. They eventually believe a possible nuclear attack happen and believe fallout is killing them and their friend. So the family makes their way down the mountain trying to conserve food and water and save their friend. When they turn away he dies and turns to dust. When they finally get back to what they think is civilization in Rainbow, Ca. all they find is people who turned to dust and killer dogs. Unsure of what to do they decide to make their way to their million dollar Malibu home to find mom had died too. So they move out to Northern California to become farmers and apparently solar flares from the sun killed everyone! Oh the 70s TV movies I miss thee as I give you 2 stars.

 

Fair Game (YouTube/DVD) – A mid-80s Australian flick that pits a woman who runs a wildlife sanctuary against three men who enjoy a great deal of hunting on her property. After she is almost killed and run off the road by the three and authorities don’t believe her. The film becomes your cat and mouse chase film as they torture and drag her all over the outback. Once back home she lures the men into her compound to destroy them with traps she set up. All 80s Australian flicks have a certain charm but this film loses it quickly as you get bored waiting for it to end. The trailers are much better than the movie as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Gross Movie Reviews #377

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Gross Movie Reviews #377

 

Charlie’s Farm (DVD) – A group of four people that includes my favorite Tara Reid travel into the outback looking for a farm. This particular farm is part of an urban legend of where cannibals were gunned down by the locals’ years ago. Rumor is their fucked up cannibal son “Charlie” still roams the farm feeding on whatever may pass by and that includes the individuals looking into the legend. Once there they hook up with another curious couple about the place and they all die gruesomely. The cast is rounded out by Bill Moseley, Kane Hodder, and Nathan Jones. Australian horror films are always a lot of fun and this is no different as I give the flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Reptilian (DVD) – A South Korean film about a Yongary? But is not a remake of the older South Korean giant reptile film. With that out of the way some dinosaur bones have been discovered that are supposedly 50 times larger than a T-Rex! Once the bones are exposed aliens are alerted and bring the monster to life to kill all humans. Apparently this film was made in 1999 right after a strict policy on filmmaking in South Korea was lifted and was their answer to ‘Godzilla’? Always enjoy giant rubber monster fun as I give this flick 2 stars.

 

Bloodsucking Bastards (DVD) – A very hilarious vampire flick about a couple office slackers and their best friend who is trying to break into management. They work for a firm/company that sells the boner pills, abs-flex, etc. They phone sales people who call and try to suck you into deals for shit you don’t need. Well higher-ups have decided it’s time for a shake-up and bring in someone new who has a different way of getting the most out of his sales team. He turns them into vampires that apparently make a ton of sales and don’t complain about work conditions. When it’s almost too late the slackers and best friend realize vampires have taken over their company and they must look up on Wikipedia on how to kill them? Underrated gory awesomeness best describes this 3 ½ star horror film.

 

The Comedy of Terrors (DVD) – An absolute delightful horror/comedy from the mid-60s starring Vincent Price as a drunk undertaker who is about to be evicted by Basil Rathbone and keeps trying to feed poison to his father-in-law Boris Karloff. If that isn’t enough in order to scare up business Price’s character convinces his assistant Peter Lorre to begin murdering people so they make the rent or they all will be thrown out on the street. As usual Price is amazing and for that I give this 4 stars.

 

Captain America: Civil War (Theater) – The third film in the ‘Captain America’ series lives up to the hype and comes off more like a sequel to ‘The Avengers’ series. The whole point to the film is the team turns on each other as they pick sides of who is for saving Bucky. But the savior of the film in my opinion is the new Spidey. Or is it the old Spidey? The point is Spider-man steals the show with his onscreen antics and proves that Disney/Marvel understood they screwed up with doing the ‘Amazing Spider-man’ films. If you enjoyed the recent Marvel movies up till now you will most likely enjoy this one too. I give the film 3 stars, but the new/old Spider-man 4 stars and cannot wait to see Tom Holland in his own flick.

 

Zombie Militia (DVD) – A hilarious no budget short film from 2009 that isn’t meant to be taken serious but most horror fans know of someone or related to someone that would be the real-life version of this film… Jack is part of the ‘Zombie Militia’. They believe the government is trying to start the apocalypse, take your guns, etc. Well Jack is pumped up after the latest meeting in breaks into someone’s garage and believes he is stopping the zombie apocalypse? Filmed in Kokomo, Indiana by Squirrelly Cow Films and they can be found on Facebook: www.facebook.com/SquirrellyCowFilms . I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

I Spit on Your Grave 2 (DVD) – The sequel to the remake that really surprised me how much I liked it. This film has no connection to the first goes with another young woman named Katie Carter from the Midwest who has moved to New York City recently. She is model but finding it hard to get work in the big city. When faced with a decision she makes a horrible one by going to a free photographer in hopes of building a new portfolio? When the three creepy foreign dudes creep her out and she understands they just want naked pictures she leaves. So very creepy brother tracks down Katie and takes pictures of her in her bedroom and it spirals from there. The catch is they don’t rehash the first story as they go into a different direction with this rape/torture victim Katie. After her brutal rape from very creepy dude, his brother and best friend drug her, box her up, and ship her to freakin Bulgaria! Too of course do even worse shit. Once escaped, recaptured, raped, tortured horribly and left for dead. Katie is boxed up again and buried. Only to fall into abandoned sewer catacomb thingy where she scavenges for clothes and food (rat on a stick anyone?). Here she heals and plots her revenge but what also makes an interesting story is she finds a church where the priest immediately something horribly wrong has happened to this beautiful American girl. Instead of forcing God on her, he just tries to help at her pace and tries to bring the police in. But meanwhile Katie is beating a creepy dude into a shit filled toilet, cutting up another and shoving bugs and shit in his wounds, and puts another dude’s balls into a vise which by no means pretty… Again I was pleasantly surprised by the story change. Fun family entertainment folks as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

I Spit on Your Grave 3: Vengeance is Mine (DVD) – A little confusing at first but if you have seen the first film you know something is amiss as the Jennifer Hills character is now going by the name Angela. Angela is still having trouble moving on from the events of the first film. She is going to see a therapist who doesn’t seem to help but starts to go to group therapy where she meets a friend, someone to trust again, and her name is Marla. Angela and Marla become fast friends and Angela slowly opens up telling Marla her story. But Marla has rage and still wants a piece of vengeance especially sitting in group therapy and hearing the stories from young Cassie whose innocence has already been taken by her mom’s boyfriend. After sharing each other’s past lives Angela and Marla go and clobber the man that has ruined Cassie. The after effects Cassie is happy again and being treated with respect but Marla goes to visit her ex-boyfriend. A few days pass and Angela doesn’t think anything of it until she is at group therapy and told Marla is dead. Once the police can’t make charges stick Angela decides the only way to find happiness or piece of mind is through vengeance. Angela becomes Jennifer again and first on the list is Marla’s ex-boyfriend who gets penis head bitten off and his dick sliced in half like she was making some jerky. She goes completely off the range folks as she is now looking for revenge against all who have raped or even thought of rape. Including killing a dude by sticking a pipe up his ass! Interesting ending as we see Jennifer aka Angela being released after two years of jail but still has visions/dreams of slicing/dicing/torturing people. Even though the film is a little confusing at times with the dreams and name change I still surprised third entry in and it’s interesting. Fun stuff horror fans as I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Phase IV (YouTube) – The film is on DVD but I watched it for our podcast Bloodbaths and Boomsticks. This is one of those 70s films always been interested in watching but never found time or always found something better and apparently it was for good reason. Ants are evolving and suddenly get smarter as they talk to each species of ant and slowly start attacking a desert town. Meanwhile a couple scientists try to do experiments and figure out if the ants are now at the top of the food chain? The film is a bit boring and maybe not as fun as ‘Empire of the Ants’ but nothing wrong with watching 70s film that is trying to scare the shit out of you claiming the world is going to end soon… I give it 1 ½ stars.

Revenge

Revenge of the Spacemen (DVD) – A little redneck community that is invaded by large green men aka aliens who are interested in probing everyone and everything. Which in turn the anal probing from the spacemen turns things green like them? But through stupidity and chaos the rednecks and a group of twenty-somethings figure out alcohol kills the aliens and cures the townsfolk. A fun independent project that is worthy of 50s and 60s film fans seeking out and enjoying its entertaining ridiculousness! I give the project 2 ½ out of 4 stars and you can find it at www.revengeofthespacemen.com plus the film has a Facebook page so go visit.

 

Deadpool (DVD) – Marvel/Disney dipping their toes into R-rated comic book movies again with this hilarious origin story of a man who has lung cancer and takes on an experimental process he wasn’t supposed to survive. Or if he did his mutant power would activate and save him. Soon Ryan Reynolds goes from hunk mercenary to ugly/super mutant/superhero whether he wants to or not. So Deadpool dedicates his life finding the bad guy who fucked his face up and make him return his hunk status. I laughed my ass more and more as the film went on and loved its connection to the X-men without being connected. Marvel/Disney you did a great job kids now go get Wesley Snipes and start making another damn ‘Blade’ film!!! I give Deadpool a well-deserved 4 stars.

 

Zoombies (DVD) – I enjoy Asylum Entertainment’s refusal to go away and bring us or should I say me, another zombie adventure that deals with zoo animals. Yep, ‘Zoombies’! Apparently, when animals are faced with extinction they either die off or evolve into zombies or Zoombies. A private zoo park is taking interns to help with funding new habitats and their financial bottom-line to stay open. With all that going on monkeys strangely die and turns into Zoombies that infect other animals and want to kill humans. From there it’s complete chaos as the police and CDC try to get inside and kill the animals but find it hard when there is a Zombie-lion eating them. This is one of those movies that was perfectly made for MSTK3000, Commander USA, USA Up All Night, etc. The film is so bad its good kinda thing as I give it 2 stars just for existing.

 

Muck (DVD) – A much misleading poster and title is about a group of college-aged people being stalked on St. Patrick’s Day by albino bald dudes and then tortured and murdered. The thing is the filmmaker tried to do something a little different where the film picks up with the group already been attacked and lost a friend somewhere in the marsh or starts at the 35 minute mark. With it beginning without a beginning you do get a lot of horror cliché jokes and more boobs than a Cinemax ‘After Dark’ soft-core porn! Personally at first glance I thought I was getting something like the ‘The Raft’ segment from ‘Creepshow 2’? But nope it was a weirdo flick where Kane Hodder is the leader of these random albino dudes who stalk humans. Lots of gore and some random horror fun but the film comes off more like an incomplete movie as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Spell

Spellcaster (VHS/Comet TV) – Here is a lost out-of-print title from the Charles Band Empire Pictures catalog that sports a lot of cool creature creations from John Carl Buechler. And I believe it does take place at the famous Charles Band castle that was in a lot of the early Full Moon flicks. But a brother and sister combo wins a chance to stay at a castle for a weekend in Italy so they can treasure hunt for a check worth a million dollars. It’s all sponsored by Rock TV (of course spoofing MTV at the time). The strange man (Adam Ant) that owns the castle refuses to show up at meals with the contestants but soon has fun killing them off one by one. One gets eaten by a demonic chair and another is turned into a man-pig. Plus William Butler shows up long enough to get blown up in a car. And a big time music star apparently made a deal for her soul to be a rock star. The film is a little dated but us old people and Empire Pictures fans it is a prime example of Charles Band goodness when he has money to produce it. I give ‘Spellcaster’ 3 stars and like to thank John Carl Buechler for being an amazing make-up/creature effects person!

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.