Gross Movie Reviews #531

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Gross Movie Reviews #531

 

The Bubble (DVD/YouTube) – A 1966 film that some people may know as ‘Fantastic Invasion of Planet Earth’ and at the time of its release was called ‘The Zoo 3-D’ in some territories. A happily young married couple with their first child on the way jump into a charter plane that gets hit by a strange storm. The couple and pilot are able to land safely but find themselves in a strange small town where all the residents seem zombified or controlled? All three being completely weirded out decide it is a movie lot of some kind to explain away the oddness. But when they track down a vehicle and drive out of there they find a glass wall keeping them in. Now all three don’t know if it’s real or they have just gone crazy from the beginning? Things get a good weird from there as the three spend weeks including having the baby on trying to figure out a way out and why everyone is zombified. An excellent weird watch that I am surprised hasn’t shown up on some of the horror host shows as it seems like it would be PG rated… Anyway I give this oddity 3 stars.

 

Hysterical (DVD) – Another horror spoof from the early 80s that I only heard of but didn’t know it really existed. This one consists of a big time author from New York who gets away from it all to actually write his masterpiece and what better place than Hellview, Oregon. A quiet small place that has a haunted lighthouse where of course the author enjoys but ignores the warnings. When Captain Howdy’s corpse appears two professors are brought in to discover why? But it’s been a hundred years since he, his mistress, and wife died during a storm and its time cause chaos! Oh by the way the whole town is being turned into zombies while this is all going on. There are quite a few subtle laughs in this one as this might not be as over the top as some of the spoofs can be as I give this 3 stars.

 

Transylvania Twist (DVD/YouTube) – A horror spoof from 1989 that centers on a man named Dexter Ward who travels to L.A. to retrieve info on a book for his uncle who has returned from the dead to work again in the Arkham Library. But Dexter finds himself wrapped up in something else when he and a beautiful actress named Marissa are invited to Transylvania because of her father dying. Eventually Van Helsing joins the show and escorts the couple to Castle Orlock as there is a vampire (Robert Vaughn) waiting for their arrival. If this vamp gets his claws on the Book of Ulthar it could spell doom for all humans. A hilarious spoof on the Dracula story using footage of ‘The Terror’ and Boris Karloff throughout, also you will not forget the hilarious beginning of the film poking fun at Freddy, Jason, Leatherface, and Michael Myers. The biggest payoff which I totally forgot and worth a rewatch just because is Angus Scrimm as the vamp’s butler and yes you get a wonderful ‘Phantasm’ spoof! The film is lots of fun when jokes are going but does have a few dull spots that has not aged well since its initial release but I still give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Saturday the 14th Strikes Back (DVD/YouTube) – The 1988 unexpected sequel disconnects from the original story and goes a little different where a family has just inherited a home and instead of the “Book of Evil” their new home was built on a crack in the earth that holds all the monsters from the underworld. This where Eddie Baxter who was about to have the best summer ever because he turns 16 instead is forced to save the world. This crack causes some weird things like a vampire hanging out in his bedroom grooming him for the monsters arrival. But Ray Walston as fake grandpa is there to protect Eddie and help lead him in stopping the monster invasion. The first half of the horror spoof is hilarious and goes great but by the end I was just waiting for the film to end as it loses steam and I give it 2 stars.

 

Paintball Massacre (DVD) – Some old school friends get together for a reunion and a morning of paintball games. Not the greatest idea for all but they do it anyway and all goes well for some time until one team is completely slaughtered and now the school friends are being stalked and shot at by a paintball masked maniac. The film has some fun gory parts and a character you will enjoy hating or root for (you’ll understand) but the ending falls flat and felt they may never had a true ending written to begin with as I give it 1 ½ stars.

People to Kill (DVD) – Apparently this was Adam S. Clevenger’s first effort out as he wrote and directed this interesting thriller. Shawn and two brothers still live and hang with their father as their mother died five years ago after reading about the “Lullaby Killer”. The family still trying to move on has their usual squabbles and Shawn gets a lot of the blame from his father. Shawn runs a Star Trek themed store called “Starbase”. This makes for some hilarious scenes with the customers and Shawn’s father while Shawn runs for coffee. Along the way he helps out the local hooker (Erin R. Ryan) who has an issue with her pimp. Shawn felt the need to step in as he has seen her every day for the past few months hanging out near his store. They quickly strike up a friendship and things get very complicated as that is about all I can say as a major twist happens. I didn’t exactly see this twist coming maybe you will but either way this film is an absolute gem of an independent feature. Mr. Clevenger wrote an excellent script, and casted an excellent group of actors that should be applauded for pulling off a great performance. Erin R. Ryan is always a wonderful presence on screen but all involved were equally great. There was only one thing bad that I could say about the film and that is the length (2 hours and 14 minutes). Now most cases there isn’t enough story to fill 70, 80, or even 90 minutes but this surprisingly had it but felt the 20 minute strip club could have been cut down. I totally understand why it wasn’t edited because there is some important dialogue that happens but felt at some point Adam could have moved on. If this was Adam’s first effort out then count me in for the future as I can see some entertaining stuff coming this dude as I give this must have film 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Good chance this shows up on my “Best of 2021 watched list”.

Devil Story (DVD) – This mid-80s film has a Nazi zombie roaming the French countryside stabbing people while a random mummy decides it is time to appear and terrorize all others. Zombie dude to me looks like movies in the late 60s and early 70s wanted you to think biker extras looked like? If that doesn’t make much sense just wait there is more as an old dude just keeps shooting a pump shotgun into the random countryside for the second half of the movie. The movie doesn’t make a lick of sense but I found it extremely entertaining as this must be watched in your next outdoor group setting as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Thing that Couldn’t Die (DVD) – A rando drive-in flick from the late 50s where a young woman has psychic powers and happens to disturb an evil beheaded pirate that has been buried for a few hundred years. Now that he is found she is the key for his head being reattached to his buried body. Yes it is stupid but doesn’t stop it from being entertaining 60 some odd years later as I give it 2 stars.

 

Bad Blood The Movie (DVD) – A recent low budget affair where a college girl name Victoria has taken a break from college to the dismay of her father who believes she is on “the drugs”. Victoria just trying to get away from it all for a night with her best friend is attacked at a gas station when they stop to get gas by a large amphibious creature. Victoria survives but is taken in by the gas station attendee. More on that in a little bit as you hear reports of a crazed man (Dr. Mark Beltran) has escaped custody with incredible strength. Victoria wakes up and it is explained to her she is now a part of some weird amphibious/werewolf experiment that went too far and the attendee is working on a cure with experimenting on frogs. To complicate things a private detective who is losing his mind and works for Victoria’s family screws up the cure and finds himself in a predicament! Weird as hell, some gore, awesome creature as I give this bad boy or girl 3 stars!

 

Darlin’ (DVD) – Ketchum’s trilogy moves on with the cannibal people as a feral teenage girl is pushed out of the woods to a hospital. The hospital unsure what to do with her as she has no injuries, cleans her up, try to communicate with her and send her to the Lord’s house for girls. There a nun/sister named Jennifer tries to take care of her, teach her, explain god, and get her to interact with the other girls that reside there. Problem an older cannibal sister is sniffing around for her sister because we come to find out (Darlin) the younger sibling is pregnant and this stirs up priest diddling! Most not the strongest of the trilogy but has a wonderful ending as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

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Gross Movie Reviews #405

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Gross Movie Reviews #405

 

Territory 8 (DVD) – Depending what country you rent the film from or buy it is also known as ‘District 8’. Nope, don’t think it. The flick has nothing to do with anything as this flick was released in 2013 as nuclear waste disaster film. Some corporate/government types made an accident happen to see its results. But they were not counting on it seeping into the drinking water and soil and getting a town nearby sick. Now quarantined the town waits for the cure while a couple dudes in this top secret place try to come up with the cure. The natives get restless and raid the top secret buildings looking for blood as military won’t allow anybody to leave the area. Think the 80s film ‘Warning Sign’ but much more of a uninteresting watch. I give this piece of trash a ½ star.

 

Guardians of the Galaxy Volume Two (Theater) – So Marvel sets out to prove again they can make a movie that appeals to everyone and they did! The film picks right up from the first flick where the Guardians are fighting a monster for some conceded Gold people/assholes. After Rockit steals a couple batteries a whole armada comes aiming for the heads of the Guardians. With some help by a dude on a flying egg they make their escape and set down for repairs. They are greeted by Starlord’s father aka Kurt Russell and that is where the fun begins as we learn why Starlord’s father left him. After a few great 70s songs the Guardians are back at it by saving the universe from Starlord’s father as he plans on remaking all the worlds in his own way! Once again the film is freaking hilarious but I think I still enjoy the first film just that little more as I give this fun popcorn superhero flick 4 stars. There is a couple surprises as usual but also has the fans wanting more?

 

Doctor Strange (DVD) – Now this was an intriguing superhero movie that I thought could have gone south real bad. But surprise another interesting superhero movie that will have sequels. For those who don’t know, Doctor Strange is a great doctor who looks to fix the impossible in people’s bodies. But when he is in a severe accident that destroys his hands, Strange is devastated. With his last pennies he finds himself at the butt end of the world where he meets a woman, a wizard, or something that will cure him of his ailments. Strange being stubborn but a quick learner uses his photographic mind to become a powerful person who can help the world in many ways besides using his hands for surgery again? As he learns the ways to twist our world around with great power, that dude that played Hannibal on the TV show wants to let an evil presence take over the world. Compared to a lot of the recent superhero flicks, ‘Doctor Strange’ is quick but to the point. But Marvel/Disney also prove they can reach into the barrel of secondary but interesting superheroes and give us great movies but also expand the movie universe of what’s to come? I give old Doc Strange 3 stars and here is to hope of seeing a Spider-man cameo in the next flick.

Avalanche Sharks (DVD) – Ancient spirit sharks haunt a ski mountain resort when their totem is disturbed and begin feasting on all the skiers during spring break! Of course the resort wants to keep it quiet but the local sheriff and his marine biologist wife are trying to warn the young folks of being eaten. But the resort needs the bikini contest to go off without a hitch. Yeah the movie is worse than you can imagine but the casting is what kept me interested in the flick as Erika Jordan (known for her Showtime late night porn flicks) gets bitten in half. And the other is Kate Nauta playing the marine biologist aka crazy bad ass fighting chick from ‘Transporter 2’. And if it helps, this film has no relation to ‘Snow Shark: The Ancient Beast’… I give it 1 star.

 

No Escape (DVD) – The bad ass action flick that everyone forgets about but wants to watch. A film that was released in the 90s that didn’t get much support from the studio but you were glad it existed.  The year is 2022; a giant corporation runs the penial system. Ray Liotta is a Special Forces vet who killed his superior officer ten years before because of ordering him and others to bomb women and children. The event was swept under the rug so Ray’s character went and killed him. Since then Ray’s character has spent his time breaking out of all the maximum prisons. Now he is being sent to an island where no one escapes and the prisoners are watched by satellites. Once there he must decide is he with the crazy people or the prisoners who are trying to be peaceful and make the best with what they have on the island. The film is similar to Christopher Lambert’s ‘Fortress’: action packed, great cast, and not a lot of people have seen it but they know about it! I have always been a big fan of the film just for the mere reason it stars Lance Henriksen as ‘Father’. For that I give the film 4 stars and yinz need to watch this awesome flick!

Hangar 18 (DVD/YouTube) – A film that comes off as a TV movie but was actually released to theaters in 1980 about the event of aliens that crash landed on earth and were supposedly held up in Hangar 18. Darren McGavin plays the lead official for NASA and is asked to lead a team of scientists on studying the alien ship after it was forced down by a US satellite. Meanwhile Robert Vaughn plays a hard ass dude looking out for his own ass and the president’s as its election year and this incident must be covered up. So let’s blame the two astronauts. The two astronauts aren’t having anything to do with the blame or the cover up and soon start their own investigating as they are being followed by government agents. Vaughn is just trying to get through the next two weeks of the election and no one will care any longer. But when the astronauts learn of “Hangar 18”, the government pulls out all the stops to kill them and the NASA team so no info will be leaked out. In some circles this was seen as a documentary of the event and in other circles it’s all considered crap. Either way I am sure Chris Carter had this flick on his brain when he was developing ‘The X-Files’ TV show. For that I am thankful and give this this alien flick 2 ½ stars.

 

American Exorcism (DVD/Vimeo) – Damon is a dude that seems to be a fun family man but he has a demon trapped in him that he uses to help with exorcisms with his buddy who is a reverend/priest. After helping out a guy named Dale Damon comes home shouting things at his wife as he claims “it’s not her”. After an argument with his priest friend and trying to exorcise the demon from his wife, she is shot to death. Ten years pass and it’s believed the demon has possessed the body of his daughter   as the priest friend has come looking for Damon to explain they must perform an exorcism on her at midnight of her 18th birthday. Damon struggles with this as he hasn’t been in contact with her since her mother’s death but knows the exorcism needs to be done. The movie is a classic example of good idea but poor execution. Great job of building the Damon character and his background but it goes to the pooper quickly after the character’s wife dies. No matter what I am sure the younger crowd who have become somewhat obsessed recently with these types of films will seek it out as I give it 1 out of 4 stars. You can find out more about the film at www.facebook.com/octobercoast .

 

Master of the World (DVD) – The year is 1868 and all is well in post war Pennsylvania. That is until Vincent Price decided to build an airship inside a mountain and scare the crap out of people live nearby with all the noise and his voice. Chuck Bronson shows up to investigate and gets into a hot air balloon to check it out but is shot down. Price’s character kidnaps Bronson and others so they can witness his great unstoppable airship and what it will do to the world.  While Price’s character creates havoc all over the world Bronson and others must wait for the precise time to jump ship and sabotage the voyage! I give the 1961 film 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html