Gross Movie Reviews #487

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Gross Movie Reviews #487

 

The Black Gestapo (DVD) – A mid-70s Blaxploitation film that stars “Night Court’s” Charles Robinson where the story is about ‘The People’s Army’ helping out black people. But Charles Robinson aka Colonial Kojah is tired of just waiting around and not doing anything to help his fellow black man. He is tired of the abuse especially from the white man mafia. Kojah is given permission to protect his fellow black man but has something else in mind once he and is closest friends make an impression on the mafia. Kojah helps stop the shake downs of black businesses and hookers but that isn’t enough? He has his own ‘People’s Army’ to train for war, changes names, new uniforms, etc. Soon both People’s Armies are not fighting to gain on the white man as they fighting each other. Fun stuff as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Human Tornado (DVD) – Rudy Ray Moore is Dolemite and having an important party at his big house in the hills. But the white sheriff cannot stand a rich black man having fun. He does not appreciate all the non-white people including his wife being at the rich party. So sheriff and a couple hicks crash it! After a car chase, a fight with the sheriff, and blowing up a car Dolemite, Ernie Hudson, and others carjack a man on the highway and head to California. Dolemite wants to hang out at Queen Bee’s place only to see it is closed down by a wannabe Godfather figure. So Dolemite and crew put a plan in action to get the place up and running again and of course to bring the white man down. Again hilarious fun action including the fight scenes in fast forward as I give the film 3 stars.

The Werewolf (DVD) – I have to admit this I never heard of this 1956 different werewolf film. It doesn’t play by the rules we all know and love. Part of it is the film for many years wasn’t released on any format outside of its initial release to theaters and drive-ins. But anyway a mysterious man walks into town and hits the bar for a drink but has no clue who he is or how he got there. Cornered by a bigger man to rob him of his money is a mistake as the stranger turns into a werewolf and rips the bigger man’s neck out. But Mountaincrest authorities track him down to get him looked at by doctors but is not thrilled by it. For good reason after a few plot twists and the mysterious man escapes as we come to learn he is a product of an experiment by two scientists that have used him. Now they want to see their results as they were able to make a man into a werewolf. This film is very different from the usual werewolf fare and surprised this hasn’t been rediscovered for a series or remake as I give this cool find 3 stars.

 

Haunt (On Demand) – Your typical campus housing plant has a group of students looking for a good time on Halloween. After hitting the usual bars they find a flyer for an ‘extreme haunt’ so they decide to check it out. They believe its all bullshit until they enter after signed over their lives and give up their cell phones. At the time the six friends believe it is a lame haunt until they split up and continue to move forward but they all must follow the rules or face the horrifying consequences. I really enjoyed this Halloween flick and believe this is what Rob Zombie’s “31” should have been? Now I did have my issues with the lead character but still enjoyed this gory treat that will have the teenage horror fans screaming for a sequel as I give it 3 stars.

 

Scooby-Doo: Return to Zombie Island (DVD) – After many years of solving mysteries Scooby and Shaggy make the rest of the gang to promise just be normal teenagers. So Fred sells the Mystery Machine and they promise not to solve any mysteries. But Shaggy wins a contest on Elvira’s movie show for a tropical vacation. All they want to do is eat a ton and relax without worrying about running from some masked monster. They arrive at the island hotel and things look very familiar as it was the one mystery they never solved. Scooby and Shaggy allow the gang to solve the mystery after enough weird stuff happens and it is a low budget film crew filming a found footage film. But that isn’t all of it as there other people still using the Zombie Island legend to look for the treasure they believe is there so the gang must solve that mystery too. If you are a long time Scooby fan you will enjoy it a lot as they incorporate a lot of classic characters from Scooby past. Not as good as the first Zombie Island but still worth the watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Disco Godfather (DVD) – Rudy Ray Moore is back for more this 1979 film as a famous DJ spinning disco records. But when his nephew gets high on Angel Dust and loses his mind Mr. Moore aka Dolemite makes it his business to track down the drug dealer who sold his nephew the smack. The film has a lot of flaws including lots of drawn out scenes of disco but has a thrilling cliffhanger of an ending I wasn’t expecting from this flick as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Vigilante (DVD) – Finally righting a wrong that I had never finished this Fred Williamson classic. In this William Lustig gritty flick Robert Forester plays Eddie that believes in the system and how it works. His friends (Fred Williamson being one of them) on the other hand believe in street justice and taking back the streets as the hoodlums just do not care anymore and neither do the police. After Eddie’s kid gets his head blown off by the Headhunter gang and screwed over by a sleazy lawyer played by Joe Spinell, Eddie is sent to prison for 30 days. Once out he has a whole new perspective on what his friends do at night and helps them track down the Headhunter gang! Great gritty gang film even with its choppiness this still worth keeping in your rotation of movies to watch on a regular basis as I give it 3 stars.

 

Doom: Annihilation (DVD) – Just in case you needed to know about this incarnation of the video game to film… They still don’t get it. So much source material here for a fun gory alien film and they screwed up as I give it 1 star for just incorporating a few things the first film didn’t have.

One Remains (DVD) – A low budget film crew heads to a remote large home in the mountains to visit an old man for a documentary they want to make. Lance the owner allows the crew to come and do the interview. Their documentary is going to be about Samuel Mahoney and how he found some missing college students in the mountains that were supposed to be experienced hikers but went missing for a long period of time. Then one day as Samuel was walking through the woods he stumbled upon them and it changed his life forever. It was the 70s things like this just didn’t happen but it did and Samuel’s whole family was affected by it. The first half of the film is the usual independent horror buildup but switches to a cool weird thriller vibe when Samuel tells the crew he has a VHS tape that contains footage that he shot on his camera the day he found the dead students. Things get a little confusing but interesting as the crew rewatch the tape all the way through and things change. I enjoy that it wasn’t a straight up horror film and more of a well-produced thriller with weird stuff happening as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

 

Gross Movie Reviews #459

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Gross Movie Reviews #459

 

Superstition (DVD) – In 1692, a witch is burned at the stake but before she dies she of course curses all involved and their families. Now in 1982, a family looking for a fresh start moves into a long empty house that has some history of people dying over the years. Never mind an old retired priest allows them to move in knowing the possibility of death and that the swimming pond out back was placed there to keep the evil witch at bay. Which by the way the pond doesn’t work that well. The neighbor warns them of the strange stuff and the weirdo son of course is the suspect the police are looking for. But who cares a crazy buzz saw flies into the chest of another priest who hoped the curse was gone! If you were a person that frequent the video stores in the 80s good chance you seen the VHS box at one point. The film not great but not horrible either as it is a reminder of movies you never heard of and would take a chance on renting them in the 80s. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Superstition 2 (YouTube) – The Italian sequel was released in 1989 and was mostly known under the title “Witch Story”. It has very little to do with the first film other than a witch cursing everyone and a cross that can fend the witch off. A brother and sister take their college friends to an abandoned home they inherited and has some bad history. Even though this film involves a witch it has more of a demon flick tone as demons possess some of the young people and turn them on each other. If there is one reason to watch this it is for the bad ass scene involving a dude in a pond about to get a chainsaw to the skull from his possessed girlfriend! I give the sequel 2 stars but in the end don’t make a whole of sense.

 

Lady Avenger (VHS) – David DeCoteau directs, Michelle Bauer shows up topless at least three times, and William Butler plays the boyfriend of Maggie our “Lady Avenger”. The woman that plays Maggie also goes on about a year or so later to be in Playboy. Anyway Maggie has just got out of the big house to go to her brother’s funeral. Pissed off and wanting answers she breaks away from her protective custody to get to the boatyard to ask questions. After kicking three dudes ass and gets away from them in a fiery car chase she bangs her boyfriend and gets back on the case. As she begins to piece things together of all involved she realizes the people she wants revenge against are much closer to her than she thinks. This of course ups the level of wanting revenge where she goes all Robert “The Exterminator” Ginty with a flamethrower. A fun C-grade action flick that was a direct-to-video back in 1988 as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

 

A Bay of Blood (DVD) – A 1971 Mario Bava film that has many death scenes stolen by the “Friday the 13th” films whether horror fans admit it or not.  Because of an older woman unwilling to sell her beautiful land and we get some fast and furious murders. The movie begins with two murders. One is the older woman who is made to look like a suicide. Then who killed her is then killed by an unknown person and his body is made to disappear so no one can find it. A wonderful film of double crosses with an excellent ending. For one reason or another Bava has never been in my wheelhouse so I am not a fan nor a hater but willing to check out his films when I come across them. I give it 2 ½ stars.

Death Kiss (On Demand) – So are you a fan of Chuck Bronson and the “Death Wish” films then you will enjoy bootleg Bronson in this low budget homage to those films. We meet a DJ played by Daniel Baldwin who just rages against the city police for not doing their job. That maybe a vigilante is needed? In comes bootleg Chuck Bronson who doesn’t use many words but has many uses for hand guns to bring down criminals. He steals the money from the criminals he brings down and hands it off to a single mother of a little girl in a wheelchair. Thinking she is charity and needs to pay bootleg Chuck backed she tries her best to find out more about him. But bootleg Bronson has his reasons and keeps them at arm’s length. The movie is absolutely a lot of nostalgia and fun. The movie isn’t perfect but a wonderful gift for us Bronson fans to fill the void as I give this flick 3 stars.

 

The Horseman (On Demand) – A hidden low budget gem from Australia about a 44-year old father who has just lost his daughter under suspicious circumstances. The father is sent a porn video that stars his daughter who was used by four men and was under the influence of heavy drugs. After seeing this it sends the man into a primal rage to seek out all involved, torture them horribly, and end their lives for what they did to his daughter. As he travels on the highway on his quest he picks up a hitchhiking teenager named Alice. Alice and the man become friends on the road but she knows nothing of his quest for revenge. The story is gritty, screwed up, and this dude has a thing about fucking up people’s dicks! This is literally one bad ass air pump to the penis as I give it 3 ½ stars and yes the father uses a tire pump!

 

Halloween: The Panhandle Massacre (YouTube) – A not-for-profit fan film written and directed by Dean Thomas stars David Dietz as Dr. Loomis’ grandson who oversees Michael Myers. Myers has broken out again and is loose near the Panhandle Trail in Pittsburgh back on his murder spree. Authorities have no clue what to do but Dr. Loomis is there to help guide detectives in the capture or killing of Myers to stop the unstoppable killer again. Well-acted and well produced music for the fan made film makes it one of the better “Halloween” fan made features I have seen over the years as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Babes in Psycho Land (DVD) – Two of my favorite filmmakers are back as the feature is directed by the intelligent David Silvio and produced and written by his equally talented wife Diana Silvio. The film is a simple story about Mary trying to reopen her home for foster kids and Andy trying to deal with his bizarre issues. Apparently some time ago Andy’s twin Alex and a girl named Jenny that Andy had a crush on were killed. So anytime Andy comes in contact with a female like Officer Piper Paisley, he believes it is Jenny and swears he won’t hurt her. But it always ends horribly wrong and as Officer Paisley gets pulled into this bizarre world of Mary, Andy, and the foster home she begins to enjoy it too much. Andy finding females again Mary, head of the house is not at all happy but Mary has her own bizarre issues as she is told she may not reopen. The movie rides the edge of sanity really well as it brings you into a bizarre world of you are not sure who the actual victim is and gives you that wonderful uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Kiss of Death Productions once again makes a film that cannot be classified but is must-see independent film that is a cut above most. The whole cast plays their roles perfectly including those of Jack and Cassandra at the end of the film. The Silvios don’t make films for everyone but they do make films for people who are looking for something different and interesting every time out. I give this cringe-worthy movie 3 ½ out 4 stars.

 

Warrior of the Lost World (VHS) – Robert Ginty is a man who rides his super cycle through the Wasteland that might be the only hope for what’s left of mankind. As he rides he is chased by a brutal police force of the ‘Omega’ where he is forced to drive into a wall of rock. Lucky for ‘the rider’ aka Robert Ginty he is pure or at least according to Fred Williamson and ‘the elders’. He has been chosen to help infiltrate the ‘omega’ and help a man escape who is being tortured by the leader Donald freakin Pleasence! Sounds fun, has a great cast, a talking motorcycle, but somehow doesn’t translate into cinema gold? David Worth who is also known for giving us “Shark Attack 2 & 3”, “Kickboxer”, and “Hazard Jack” didn’t seem to have much to work with in Italy but did his best. I give this flick 2 stars as the cast outshines the hokey film.

 

The Park is Mine (YouTube) – Totally forgot how good this film is starring Tommy Lee Jones as a Vietnam vet Mitch who has lost a friend recently. The friend’s dying wish is for Mitch to use his plan to take over Central Park for a few days till Veteran’s Day. His hope is people will take notice and appreciate what these vets did and stop being mistreated. So Mitch goes ahead with the plan unsure if it would work but it does. He asks the commissioner to give him 72 hours to keep the park empty. That is all well and good until the deputy mayor gets involved and things begin to get messy. All the deputy mayor wants is Mitch to die and go away especially when he sends in two mercs to take him down. But meanwhile a reporter with a camera gets in the park and gets to videotape what Mitch is trying to do. I give this film 3 ½ stars and its message of how Vietnam vets were forgotten and mistreated is still relevant today.

 

The House That Would Not Die (DVD/YouTube) – A 1970 TV movie where Ruth and Sara inherit a home that was built in the late 1700s. Apparently Ruth’s cousin took a liking to Ruth when she was young and left the house to her. But the old Campbell house has a haunting history and strange things begin to happen to Sara after a fun séance is done and a spirit enters Sara. The problem is restless spirits live beyond a fake wall in the basement that seeks answers for their peaceful death slumber. A very PG-rated paranormal film is the best thing I can say about the old TV movie as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Jon Cross joins us on our latest episode

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This week we welcome back our bestest podcast buddy Jon Cross of the after movie diner podcast, and he brings along with him a Fred William flick from the 70’s called BLACK EYE.  Kyle talks about the newest Liam Neeson throat punching action jam RUN ALL NIGHT… Does he phone it in in this one?  NOPE!  Also, Tim checks out a sequel in BEYOND THE DOOR 2 a.k.a. SHOCK.  Also we answer your listener questions and chew the movie fat and discuss this week’s internet rumors and movie poop.  Come check it out or Liam will throat punch a baby.

 

http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

episode 167

Gross Movie Reviews #351

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Gross Movie Reviews #351

 

By Tim Gross

 

Beyond the Door II (VHS/DVD-R) – This 1977 thriller was the last flick made by filmmaking legend Mario Bava and his son Lamberto Bava served as an assistant director and had a small part at the beginning of the film. The horror sequel centers around Dora and her son moving back to the old country home with her new husband Bruno. Once there Dora’s son Marco starts to question about his father and why he is dead. This also comes after he begins to start talking to an imaginary friend in the front yard. If that wasn’t enough for Dora, Marco’s mother to raise an eyebrow; how about Marco stealing his mom’s undies and acting very strange! If that wasn’t enough for the place to be haunted and further make the viewer confused on what is really going on Dora begins to feel and see some weird shit? But… you don’t know if it’s the drug addicted husband she killed off and claimed it was suicide or the acid her new husband is dropping in her water so you are never quite clear what is exactly going on. Except Marco has a new friend. It’s weird and kinda boring but I still give it 2 stars.

 

It Follows (On Demand) – Okay, I wanted to see what all the hype was all about? First off, congrats, you made a movie! It can be a difficult task but for me this movie wasn’t great and it wasn’t god awful. It was kinda blah to put it so. Apparently you are able to pass on a killer spirit that can take any form to a person you have sex with. What Tim Gross got out of this plot was: If you are a whore and don’t wait till marriage a killer spirit will fucking throw shit at you and break your ass in half. And no matter how many people you fuck because you are a whore the evil eventually gets bored and finds you anyway. But that was just me at least… I believe the film suffered more from being overhyped than anything else. Hell, by time I sat to watch it I had people trying to tell me it was the second coming of “The Blair Witch Project”! Which by the way that film can still suck a donkey dick. I give it 2 stars folks and there better not be a sequel.

 

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (On Demand) – An odd film to say the least. But with it being filmed in black and white and its language being Persian (with subtitles) even though it was filmed in L.A. kind of gives it that artsy feel. But anyway a non-talking vampire walks the streets or skateboards through the streets at night looking for her next victim. She comes upon a young man who is tripping on ‘X’ and dressed like Dracula so they strike up a conversation and she takes him home. From there it focuses on their relationship: he wants girl, she wants boy but bad things always happen since she is a vampire, and boy does not know about the vampire thing just yet. The closet movie to compare this to would be the original “Let the Right One In”. But hey give Hollywood six months and they will ruin this idea also. I wasn’t real impressed with the concept but have to still give it 2 stars for having a skateboarding vampire.

 

Run All Night (DVD) – Another film starring Liam Neeson but this one strays from the usual recent formula of Neeson flicks as he plays an old broken down former hitman named Jimmy. Jimmy use to work for a bad ass in Ed Harris and Harris’s son is trying to bring in his own piece of the pie that involves heroin. Meanwhile, Jimmy has a son named Michael who has pretty much distance himself completely from his father until he happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time while doing job of being a limo driver. Without giving too much away Michael gets in contact with his father and Jimmy just happens to kill Ed Harris’s son before he kills Michael causing a shitload of mob dudes looking for Jimmy and Michael. Like I said it strays a little from the recent formula to make you happy Neeson is till looking to make some good flicks as I give it 3 stars.

homicycle

Homicycle (DVD) – Brett Kelly’s latest project being released by Bloody Earth Films and Camp Motion Pictures throws around the words “tribute to grindhouse classics like The Punisher and Nailgun Massacre”. Okay, you now have my attention (the guy that has a Nailgun Massacre tattoo on his arm and was a huge fan of Terry Lofton). Mr. Kelly tries to craft a story about a good cop who not only meant a lot to his spouse (also a cop) but to a city that is polluted with crime and was gunned down in front of his wife by a weirdo named Brock. Brock’s crime wave continues and his wife is frustrated with the system but someone or something has answered her prayers and rides at night on a motorcycle like “death itself” and begins killing or retaliating against all that killed the good cop. I enjoyed the cheesiness of the flick but thought it lacked the randomness and B-movie fun of “Nailgun Massacre”. Now Mr. Kelly goes on to explain in his commentary of the film that he made the film sort of under pressure from how I took it “because his wife was pregnant and wasn’t sure he would get the chance to make this sort of flick?” Which makes sense to me as Brett Kelly is an excellent filmmaker and I have seen better work from the man. Now I am not getting all down on the flick as I believe the box art is brilliant like “Nailgun Massacre”. Hell, it might be one of the best DVD box art I have seen in quite a long time? I might be only giving the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars and was expecting a little more but I still support Mr. Kelly and his projects and if it helps I do have a “Homicycle” T-shirt ordered. To order your copy of Brett Kelly’s homage of “Nailgun Massacre” go to: https://www.alternativecinema.com or https://www.facebook.com/pages/Alternative-Cinema-Pop-Cinema-Studios/99873255809?fref=ts for more details on the film.

 

Black Eye (DVD/You Tube) – I love Fred Williamson! One of my favorite actors to talk too and watch in flicks as I am still finding film gems starring Mr. Williamson. And this 1974 film does not disappoint as it was directed by film legend Jack Arnold the man that directed “Creature from the Black Lagoon” and “Revenge of the Creature”. Fred plays a private investigator named Stone who two years before was a cop but left the force after his wife died. Now he is thrown a bone or two from his buddy who still works the beat. But Stone stumbles into a case that involves a cane that just so happens to be seeked by several individuals. Fred Williamson’s character “Stone” is more normal or believable as you see Stone get his kicked a couple times and not always get the girl. If you are a fan of Fred Williamson this film is well worth tracking down as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

The Redwood Massacre (DVD) – Another slasher film from the UK that David Ryan Keith looked to mix the Robert Elkins independent feature “Backwoods” and “Friday the 13th Part 2”. Or at least that’s how I viewed this slasher. Twenty years ago a man gone nutzoid, hacked and cannibalized his family then committed suicide. Every year college kids go out in the woods near the location and party on the anniversary until this year the murderous evil farmer has come back from the grave to hack and cannibalize again! As legend goes the evil farmer gets pissed off when you disturb his family’s final resting place or where they were slaughtered. Loved the gallons of blood, gore, and goo but at times the film seem to lack pacing of past slashers and the killer did not stand out like the ‘Caleb’ character from “Backwoods”. I was a bit disappointed as I give it 2 stars.

 

As Above So Below (DVD) – A young driven professor named Scarlet is looking for the ‘philosopher stone’ as it was her father’s work before her that seems to have mystical powers as lure claims. She has a cameraman following her as she discovers new information about the stone’s whereabouts in the undiscovered catacombs under Paris. She asks for help from a man and his crew to get her into the catacombs illegally as she believes she has to root through unknown parts of the catacombs. Once Scarlet and crew is there she follows clues to open different doorways that lead deeper and deeper into the catacombs until they reach the stone. Once found they literally set off a trap that leads them into “The Gates of Hell”. The flick was interesting and entertaining unlike a “Grave Encounters” and I will sure be revisiting this flick a couple more times in my future. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html or pick up a copy at Horror Realm July 24-26th, 2015 as Out of Print Dan and myself will have a table there! Go to www.horrorrealmcon.com for more details on the convention.

We have our “Mad Max” boner party early as some great guests stop by!!!

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On the verge of our most anticipated movie to be released in a long, long time, MAD MAX: FURY ROAD Kyle and Tim are hosting a pre-post-apocalyptic Italian/Filipino boner party.  We welcome our guests JON CROSS, T-SHIRT JOE GARCIA, and RODRIGO QUAST to talk about a slew of post apocalypse MAD MAX rip-offs such as 2020 TEXAS GLADIATORS, ENDGAME, the glorious WHEELS OF FIRE, THE NEW BARBARIANS, and THE BRONX WARRIORS 2.  So sit back, relax, and let this episode waste away the time until FURY ROAD hits the screen and we all squeal with glee.

 

http://www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

episode 161