Gross Movie Reviews #488

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Gross Movie Reviews #488

 

Commando Squad (DVD) – A Fred Olen Ray action flick from 1987 that has more names in it than it does action. An undercover cop Clint (Brian Thompson) is in Mexico trying to put a stop to a cocaine growing and processing plant run by an ex-cop (William Smith) who is trying to recruit Clint once he is captured. Of course William Smith’s partner in crime is played by Sid Haig wants Clint dead and stop wasting time. But Clint’s old partner Kat played by Kathy Shower has been sent in for the rescue as she sidekicks her way through the whole drug cartel! I am a huge Brian Thompson fan, William Smith was fun, and Sid Haig was the best part of the film but there wasn’t anything there plot wise. The film just drags for a very long time so I can only give it 2 stars if that?

 

The Devil’s Bride (DVD) – A late 60s flick starring Christopher Lee as this Duke who swore to look out for this young man named Simon. Even if Simon does not want help the Duke swore to help and protect him. During a surprise visit the Duke finds Simon wrapped up with Satanists and they are having a party as they are about to have their circle of 13. The British movie is craziness of The Duke vs. Black Magic that features blood, sacrifices, strange images, possible orgies, The Devil, and even The Angel of Death! And Christopher Lee is just a plain bad ass in this taking it all on in order to save Simon. Fun Satanist shit that I give 3 stars.

 

3 From Hell (Theater) – Rob Zombie’s latest picks up from the end of “The Devil’s Rejects” where the three have taken on 20 bullets a piece in their bodies and somehow survived. After a quick court process all three are convicted but questions are raised on what exactly they did and how much? They become legendary figures in the media and ten years pass by. During that time Captain Spaulding is executed for his crimes so cue ‘we need a new character’ Richard Brake comes in as Otis’ half-brother. When Baby is denied parole and Otis escapes prison the brothers come up with a plan to break Baby out. Once out the three head for Mexico for safety but once again they must fight for their lives against Luchador assassins. This all sounds great in theory but in my opinion without getting too much into it just because if you like it? Good for you I am glad but personally I just feel Rob Zombie should have left this one alone and moved on to a different project. The film isn’t bad or anything I just feel he should have left the “Devil’s Rejects” ending alone as I give the movie 1 ½ stars.

 

Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire (Shudder/DVD) – So it is now ten years since the original horrific events of the hotel went down. It is October 2018 and the hotel is scheduled for demolition but some super rich dude (Russell Wynn) steps in last second and buys the hotel. He wants the hotel to host his haunting interactive show called ‘Insomnia’ which people loved in New York. So why move the show in the sticks? Well he would like everyone to believe no matter where this new haunting attraction is at people will find it and pay to get in. But we have seen the other two movies and know something is up immediately but you won’t quite know why until closer to the end of the film. With this event happening in the hotel a new host for ‘Morning Mysteries’ is there to document everything but just like any normal person she is very leery of going in the hotel. Again strange things begin to happen until it leads up to opening night and its then you learn why Wynn bought the hotel in the first place. Great wrap up story as I give the movie 3 stars.

Little Monsters (On Demand) – Another amazing horror film comes from Australia, big surprise there… The film begins innocently enough about a man who has relationship and job trouble. When he and his girlfriend break up after nine years this sends David to live with his older sister and five year old kid. Of course Uncle David tries to be the cool Uncle but is very unsure what it is like to act like in front of kids. After David meets the kid’s teacher Miss Caroline, David immediately falls in love so he volunteers for a field trip a farm with the class. Believing this will help him get closer to Miss Caroline. Meanwhile, a U.S. military top secret facility is host to Project: Regeneration is right next to Pleasant Valley Farm where the kids’ field trip is at. Project: Regeneration has broken containment and unbeknownst to David and the kids, Teddy McGiggles turns into a real asshole when the zombie apocalypse happens! Miss Caroline’s goal is to keep the kids safe at all costs in this hilarious and light-hearted zombie flick. This is an absolutely lovable rewatchable zombie film that will most likely make my top ten list of 2019 as I give it 4 stars.

 

The 7th Victim (DVD) – An early 40s flick that tackles satanic cults where a young woman named Mary leaves school to go looking for her sister Jacqueline. She arrives in New York to look for her sister only to find Jacqueline’s husband and a lot of stories about her. Mary reports her missing to the police but a private investigator takes a personal interest in the case. When they believe they have tracked her down the private dick gets stabbed to death. As Mary unravels the mystery it becomes clear the satanic cult Jacqueline got mixed up with wants her dead but Jacqueline has other plans. The movie is a little slow but a very interesting take on satanic cults at the time that plays out more like a drama than a horror film. Even though I am giving this only 2 stars I do highly recommend giving this film at least one watch to see something cinematically different for the early 40s.

Candy Corn (On Demand) – An all-star cast heads up this Halloween fright flick about a young man Jacob who is a little different from everyone else. A small group of people have hazed Jacob every year on Halloween and this was going to be no different as Jacob now worked for the Freakshow that has rolled into town. The four head to the Freakshow and meet Jacob out back and the hazing goes too far as they kill Jacob. This upsets the barker of the Freakshow Dr. Death and he performs a ritual that brings Jacob’s body back with a horrific mask on. Undead Jacob tracks down each person in the group and brutally murders them for revenge. This flick has some great gore shots but overall the movie seems disjointed and doesn’t exactly commit to the Jacob storyline as you wanting to know more about the Dr. Death character. Right or wrong the filmmaker may have left out some important scenes concerning this character. Enjoyed Courtney Gains and P.J. Soles characters but like most horror films Tony Todd’s character seemed wasted as he is so much more… Don’t get me wrong a good Halloween film to check out but not a great one as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Annabelle: Creation (DVD) – So just in case you needed to know how Annabelle came to be I have two words for “Pet Sematary”. Yes indeed sometime in the late 30s or early 40s a little girl gets destroyed by a truck and after the parents were praying to whoever would listen… Presto, changeo, killer ghost child is back ready to fuck people up! A dozen years pass by until a group of orphan girls are offered to live at the home. Of course one of them doesn’t listen and open the room where Annabelle was hanging out at and now she lurks around for scares. I wasn’t expecting much but enjoyed the jump scares and the creepiness it kept from “The Conjuring” films as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #416

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Gross Movie Reviews #416

 

Rage and Honor (DVD) – Cynthia Rothrock teams up with Richard Norton to kick drug dealers asses in this early 90s action flick. But Rothrock’s brother played by Brian Thompson is the mastermind behind all the drugs hitting the streets and ruining present day’s youth. It all boils down to a bad ass fight on top of a roof where Brian Thompson kicks both of their asses most of the fight. Fun stuff if you are a Rothrock or Brian Thompson fan, plus there is a sequel as I give this film 2 ½ stars.

 

Terror Birds (DVD) – Greg Evigan of “My Two Dads” fame has a grand plan when he finds some weird rare prehistoric bird on an island. His hope is to have a scientist played by Leslie Easterbrook figure out how the birds can successfully mate and the eggs survive? Six months pass and patients are thin until a man out bird watching gets accidentally eaten by the birds which set off a course of events that leads his daughter and friends to the sanctuary. Now the friends must fight their way off the land before they become the next meal. Hilarious random nonsense that I give 2 stars too.

 

Tekken: Kazuya’s Revenge (DVD) – Not exactly what was the end game of this flick but some dude with no identity is forced to be an assassin until he begins to remember a few things. I only watched it because I thought it was another video game adaption. It just might be but who cares, I’m old, it was kind of boring so let’s movie on as I give it 1 star.

 

Skinwalker Ranch (DVD) – Jon Gries is a man whose son disappears after some weird lights come by the farm. The film is a found footage film based on a true story of a place that is the new undocumented ‘Area 51’? Gries boy Hoyt disappears and several months later an independent crew of investigators comes knocking to try and figure out the mystery. Strange noises, ghost kid, giant wolf monster, and then aliens cause all the trouble. An interesting found footage film that I believe doesn’t want to totally commit to being a paranormal or alien flick but at least it was worth the watch. I give it 2 stars.

 

The Haunting of Whaley House (DVD) – Lynn Lowry is showing the ropes to a young college girl who has just landed a job as a guide to the most haunted house in America? While hanging out with friends they convince her to allow them to hang out in the house overnight since none of them really believe in ghosts? To prove it they bring a friend’s uncle who knows all about ghosts and spirits and try to communicate with the spirits in the house just to prove none of it is real. Once they do make contact they are locked inside and the Whaleys’ home and they would like their daughter back. But the young woman who has been working there does not want to go even if she does look like her. One by one the friends are destroyed by the ghosts until they have their daughter. Surprisingly this film is from Asylum Entertainment and there wasn’t any Sharknadoes, cheesy dialogue, or a giant snake. Just a pretty entertaining paranormal film which I do not say often as I give this film 2 ½ stars.

 

Scavenger Hunt (DVD) – A fun flick from 1979 that stars everyone except Burt Reynolds. A game maker Milton Parker (Vincent Price) is a millionaire from all the games he has invented for kids and families over the years. He dies in bed with his nurse playing one of his games so all his relatives close and distant come to the estate where they will be a part of a scavenger hunt? One last game that could land someone 200 million dollars! Even Mr. Parker’s help has a shot at it if they collect enough things on the list. This is one of many staples in cinema during the late 70s that got overused but usually seem entertaining when you were a kid. I give this cinema staple 2 stars.

 

It (Remake/Theater) – To be honest I wasn’t sure what to expect from this remake? The original film was a TV movie that sparked several TV projects adapted from King’s books in the early 90s. First half of the original was great and then the second half was total crap so I wasn’t totally sold on a remake. But in case you missed it Pennywise is an evil clown that roams the sewers of the small town Derry. Pennywise has been around since 1908 when some horrible egg hunt went wrong and many kids died. The town of Derry has had a very strange and twisted history as its death rate among children is more than the national average. Every 27 years he comes out to feed and take kids back to the sewers with him. But this time it’s different in 1989 almost a full year after Georgie died and his older brother wants answers. Along the way the kids are haunted by the evil clown as Pennywise wants to feed on them and their souls. The remake didn’t overthink the adaption and kept this horror flick creepy and entertaining as the kids make a pack at the end to come back if Pennywise every comes back to haunt the town of Derry. For me it was nice to see a very good horror flick from Hollywood that I wasn’t bitching about as I came out of the theater. If anything I am actually excited for ‘Chapter Two’ just to see if they can do a much better job than the 1990 version? I also believe this horror film creep out teenagers for years to come which is cool in my book as I give it 3 stars.

Moon Child (DVD) – Oh a lost gem from Todd Sheets in 1994 where he made a no budget, no problem post-apocalyptic flick. In this wasteland of a world people are dying from the plague and fighting the new government! A man named Jacob Stryker has escaped dark government scientists who were experimenting on him night and day. They of course want a new unstoppable soldier. Jacob just wants out in the world to go look for his son. The rebels want Jacob and his son on their side as they could be the answer for the plague. So there is a samurai/Stormtrooper dude with ninjas and bounty hunters trying to track down Jacob before he fully understands his hybrid powers. This movie is absolutely CRAPTASTIC! I love the mere balls Todd had just to try this type of film with not much money and just his passion to make it work. If anything this movie makes me respect Todd Sheets that much more because of the crazy car stunts that involve a Bronco II and a 1985 Plymouth Horizon. Oh and the main character turns into a werewolf also! This may not be his best work but this is the type of independent stuff I would like to strap to the face of some filmmakers to show it can be done with nothing but passion and the gore Todd Sheets is known for. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

Independent horror fans it is coming… GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out the Facebook group for details: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1883916838523111   

Our Halloween special commentary “Fright Night 2”

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As voted on by the fans (at least one of them many, many times)  here it is for your (post) Halloween enjoyment.

fright night

THE FRIGHT NIGHT 2 FULL LENGTH FAN COMMENTARY
and here is a link to the film as well since it’s hard to come by
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlHEtcOTEZE