Gross Movie Reviews #714

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Gross Movie Reviews #714

Venus Die Trap (Tubi) – This independent project attempts to be an intentional B-movie old school style as it mixes old stock film footage with new stuff shot to fill in certain scenes. The story is pretty basic as it centers on a small town in North Carolina where a meteor has fallen to earth in the nearby woods. The residents quickly see weird things happening and blame the meteor out in the woods as venus fly traps have mutated then attack people! The fate of the community rests in the hands of an innocent botanist named Sally. The film has its moments, it doesn’t overstay its welcome on screen, it is a fun homage to movie stuff that if old enough your parents witness these projects at the drive-in as I give is a solid 2 out of 4 stars.

Blood and Rust (Tubi) – In small town Ohio a young man named Lamont believes he is doing the right thing by running his father’s diner and taking care of the transit homeless that wander through from time to time. But Lamont when alone believes he is just a hamster on a hamster wheel running to nowhere especially after he loses his father to a strange animal attack. Enter our other main character Belko the vampire hunter as Lamont learns the hard way vampires are in town to feed and take over. Lamont is all about helping to save this town as long as it helps the homeless and the sheriff doesn’t get involved as the sheriff gives Lamont a hard time. Little that Lamont knows this life changing event can finally help him get off that so-called hamster wheel of life? The concept and how I explain it makes the film sound a lot better than it is… I mean there is a great idea in there I just felt it wasn’t executed well as I give this project 1 ½ out of 2 stars.

Sonny Boy (Blu-ray) – What if I told you there is this bizarre project released in 1989 that stars Paul Smith, David Carradine, and Brad Dourif you would most likely say “I’m in!” To top it off let me just point out David Carradine does the main song and plays a woman in the film. Plus, Paul Smith owns a cannon that he uses to shit people with if they cross him? Those who have seen this understand and respect the bizarre beauty of this film. This oddity of a story begins in 1970 at a remote hotel where Weasel (Brad Dourif) steals a car unknowingly with a baby in back as he brings it to Slue and Pearl as they are a couple criminals who run a desert town with their wheeling and dealing ways. The couple, mostly Slue, raise the child in their bizarre wicked way to help them take down people who don’t agree with their antics. Years go by until the baby is a full grown adult and the small town has had enough of these criminals. This was a film that you would only hear stories of existing for years as I was lucky enough to get my hands on a bootleg tape many moons ago but now has a great cleaned up physical media copy that needs to be seen in order to understand anybody that has described this wild project! If you are a big movie buff and have not witnessed this you need to fix it right now as I give this project 3 ½ stars.

Invisible Shark (DVD-R) – Independent filmmaker Douglas Waltz is at it again with this wild idea that would make you think old school SyFy channel would have made three of these? No they didn’t as Mr. Waltz makes his David “the rock” Nelson picture where a small town sheriff and deputy are forced to believe there is a shark in their waters when a mangled body washes up on the beach. No one sees the attacks but they see the aftermath as this invisible creature attacks residents of Poloniaville! It takes some time but the police figure out because of the killer animal’s invisibility it doesn’t play by the rules of a regular shark which can work to their advantage of saving the residents. This project is truly wild and insane but this rough cut proves Mr. Waltz believes in giving viewers something wildly strange that they might be missing in their movie watching as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Bone Sickness (Blu-ray) – This somewhat forgotten Indy gem from Brian Paulin in the early 2000s may finally get the credit and kudos it deserves as the movie has found new life in this new special edition. So Alex is a young guy who is terminally ill with a wife Kristen who will do anything to extend Alex’s life or cure him of his terrible disease. Alex’s best friend Thomas comes up with an idea of feeding Alex bone marrow from the recently departed believing this could help him as Kristen is okay with this too. Alex unknowingly is being fed this and begins to go through some sick and gruesome changes that do cause him hunger for blood, nevermind this causing the dead to rise. As Kristen and Thomas believe they were doing what’s best for Alex’s hunger and health, the film slowly turns into this dream-like zombie gorefest that goes way beyond the usual independent zombie stuff we are used to. Paulin’s project is bizarre, gritty, and an absolutely exciting gooey splatterfest that needs to be cherished. Feels like a crazy combo of Meat Market meets Fulci! Rewatching this movie made me appreciate how freakin good it is and many of the filmmakers out there need to watch and rewatch ‘Bone Sickness’ to understand you can do what you do with passion and little money… It can be done! This special edition that is so worth owning has a new commentary with Brian Paulin and Rich George, another commentary from Cult Movie Obsessives, a new location tour segment, and a featurette “The Morbid History of Bone Sickness” along with some of the older extras from the previous DVD from in the early 2000s. 4 out of 4 stars from beginning to end!

Amityville Bloodlines (Blu-ray) – Oh I have tracked more down as we go with entry #83 from the young filmmaker Blaize Tudor as he brings this sequel to his ‘Amityville Bloodbath’. The 34 minute film brings in a few independent vets we all know and love to tell the story of Dr. Trevor and his experiment “Skull Face” who has been let loose in Amityville killing all big and small in the town. Because of the curse or legacy of Amityville this evil experiment cannot be killed. Also after listening to some of the commentary from Blaize Tudor it helped me understand ‘Amityville Bloodbath’ as I see this as more of a ‘Evil Dead/Evil Dead 2’ thing of its not a remake but not a true sequel also? Confusing, I know but I believe the young man Blaize has stumbled onto something that he left a lot that could be done with this idea unknowingly? I saw Skull Face as more of the curse of Amityville that could go full serial killer or supernatural killer as this got away from the Amityville house in general… Skull Face could be a ghostly entity that continues the curse of the town? Maybe to make a little more sense so yinz don’t feel like I am completely insane, think “In a Violent Nature” as I give this project 2 out of 4 stars. Also too would like to point out it was cool to hear Blaize in his commentary be somewhat critical of his past project connecting to this as some independent commentaries try to beat into you they made the perfect project. 

Critter Collection Volume One (DVD) – Matthew Mark Hunter digs deep to give audiences eight short films of terror that deal with a boy being bitten by a cricket, a man being haunted by a roach in his motel room, a story about a giant centipede or Dinopede, a man collecting bugs and regrets the aftermath, two segments that were made nine years apart about a rat terrorizing a man, puppet bunnies fearing for their lives as one wants to leave the forest. So if you are not a fan of killer animals or bugs this no budget fun may haunt you as I give the project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Amityville Webcam (Blu-ray) – Welcome to entry #84 that has been floating around for a bit of time but getting to watch it on streaming or physical media form has only been made available recently. Premise of this entry into the series is about demons webcamming in their time off to play a role playing game where they are humans and deal with a possessed webcam. I give it credit for doing something different for sure but I believe it tells its story in 60 minutes and then just repeats for the next 40 minutes after. Again a solid different concept for the series but goes way too long. Don’t get me wrong this isn’t a ‘Mt. Misery Rd.’ mess as I can only give this entry 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Last + Last After All (DVD) – An animated 16 minute short film broken into two segments of a possible post-apocalyptic Pittsburgh. The first one is about a person who just recently woke up in this new wasteland only to find out they might be the last human alive. The second segment is an odd pair wandering the wasteland. I would love to say I enjoyed it but to me it felt incomplete? But also I am not a huge animation guy so I could be missing something as I give this 1 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Bed & Breakfast (Blu-ray) – Entry #85 literally goes in a direction I am surprised it took this long to get too? This entry into the series has two brothers buying the haunted property cheap because of unpaid taxes. Their challenge for their streaming house flipping show is to fix up the property to make it a bed and breakfast to help the community get rid of the so-called bad PR the house has had since the original murders. As the Beaver brothers progress into the project and weird things begin to happen immediately they learn through some documents that everything might not be supernatural? The Beaver brothers struggle to deal with the so-called fixer upper as the crew keeps disappearing and cash runs low but they get through it all to accomplish their task in this very entertaining entry into the series as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Easter (Blu-ray) – Oh entry #86 into the Amityville series goes in the weird but not totally unexpected direction as a group of influencers head to the Amityville estate at the edge of the Amityville community for an interview with a famous widow that could mean more subscribers and money for them. The property besides being owned by a widow was also the site of a famous murder by a deranged half bunny/half human killer. The influencers were only allowed to be present on the property if they would agree to the widow’s terms and all their equipment was turned over to the butler when they arrived but this group is desperate for content. As they spend the night there things immediately get weird for the influencers from seeing the widow looking very sexual (best way to describe it) and the female influencers made to do an easter egg hunt? All this just for an interview that is believed to be a big pay day unless the half bunny/half human can stop killing them all. This project has its moments and I give it kudos for just being odd from the start so if you need to see a rather weird entry into the series? Look no further as I believe this would be way better to watch with a group as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

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Gross Movie Reviews #408

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Gross Movie Reviews #408

 

Madman (Blu-ray) – An amazing restoration of a cult-slasher film from the early 80s that includes: interviews, commentary, and other fun tidbits that you may have never known about the flick. A group of people are out in the woods telling stories of a legend called “Madman Mars”. The group scares each other as they near the old house that supposedly Madman Mars went nuts and killed his family. One of the younger persons of the group screams for the legend to come and get them after being warned to not. They pack up and head back to the cabin as it’s the end of the season and they will be going back to the city in the morning. But Madman Mars heard the kid and now is on the prowl to track down the group and slaughter the poor folks. Wonderful kill scenes, a good amount of blood and guts, and a disgusting looking yet cool killer (Madman) makes this slasher a must have and makes you question why there isn’t several sequels? This low budget feature follows the ‘Friday the 13th’ formula and now you know where the people behind ‘Slaughterhouse’ got the idea for their killer and poster art? A must own for horror movie collectors as I give it 3 stars.

 

Nightmare in a Damaged Brain (DVD) – A horror film that may or may not have had Tom Savini doing the effects for this gorefest of a slasher film? This has been always debated over and from what information I could track down on Savini he didn’t have anything to do with the project that is best known for a woman being decapitated by a kid. There is a guy who is a schizophrenic and has been tested on with a new drug. He believes he is cured and goes out on the town only to find himself losing his mind and begins to kill again while his doctors have lost track of him. He eventually makes his way back home but first he has several flashbacks of his murderous childhood and has several new victims. The film is on the sleazy side but also is uneven and can be dull at times. I give this odd sleazy flick 2 stars.

The Guardians (DVD) – A Russian version of ‘The Avengers’ that features a man that turns into a bear, has a machine gun and a woman on his back killing evil persons while running through Moscow! Yep, I am sold and do not need to say anymore but I will. After the Russians entered the war in 1940 scientists were doing secret genetic research. After several failed experiments over the years a scientist goes rogue and starts to use people to further his experiments. When the military tries to intervene the scientist gets caught in a chemical explosion and becomes a part of his own experiment only to disappear until now. During a high tech military exercise this monster reappears and takes control of all machines killing all involved and disappears. So the Russian military forms a team of superheroes Nick Fury style: Ler – a man who can move rocks and things and uses them as weapons or a suit. Khan – a guy who has swords and can move like the wind. Kseniya – who is able to regulate her body temperature? And my favorite because he looks like a character from the Sega game “Altered Beast” Arsus (I believe that is how it’s spelled) – is a man who turns into a thing with a bear head and when he is really pissed off turns into a giant grizzly bear! They must take down the former scientist Kuratov now evil monster mastermind who also made them into what they are. Kuratov wants to take over Moscow then the world and make more troops like him. His goal in accomplishing this is using an old Reagan satellite in space left over from the “Star Wars program”. First time around The Guardians is defeated quickly but they reset things and prepare differently to become a team and defeat this evil Kuratov before it’s too late. The movie is a brilliant comic book-style popcorn flick that fits right in with the Marvel and DC universes! I absolutely loved this exciting flick as I give it 4 stars. Come one for the love of Rutger Hauer you have a bear with a machine gun you know this is gonna make my “Best movies of 2017 list”.

 

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (DVD) – So I have jumped head first into this weird world of David Lynch and cult TV show and movie. This movie for the most part is the story about the homecoming queen Laura Palmer before her murder. Almost two hours of drug use, weird shit going on, sex, two FBI agents disappearing, and eventually violence. Don’t understand it but do give it credit for being weird and interesting as I give 2 ½ stars.

 

Space Rage (YouTube/VHS) – A young pony tail wearing Michael Pare is Grange where in a futuristic society he gets caught by authorities after a bank robbery. He is banished to a penial colony on another planet where the only escape is a supply ship that lands once in a great while. So of course once Grange arrives he begins kicking ass in prison and plans his escape. Once escaped and on the run there is an old dude trying to track Grange and the inmates down before Grange blows up the landing site and killing everyone on the incoming shuttle. Lots of cool car stunts and Pare shooting everyone on screen are the highlights of this unknown sci-fi/action gem as I give it 3 stars.

 

Starslammer: The Escape (YouTube/VHS) – Oh folks this is a lovely Fred Olen Ray mid-80s treat that is a B-movie combo of ‘The Ice Pirates’ and ‘Reform School Girls’ on a prison ship. Actually the film was titled “Prison Ship” in some countries and also includes a John Carradine cameo. The girls/prisoners have had enough of abuse on the ship and now are about to become part of some unwanted experiments. So with help from the underground they have a plan to escape. Fred Olen Ray madness is always good for 2 ½ stars.

Vice Squad (YouTube/VHS) – The movie represents a fictional account of what Hollywood police have to put up with in 1982 as prostitution was rampant. We are quickly introduced to Wings Hauser’s character Ramrod and his awesome Ford Bronco that now makes my “list of great movie vehicles”. Ramrod tracks down Nina Blackwood from MTV as she owes Ramrod money and believes her pimp loves her. Ramrod kills her but doesn’t know she contacted her best friend Princess and told her all about Ramrod. After some coaxing by local authorities Princess brings down Ramrod. But once in custody he breaks out of a moving police car and plans on finding and paying Princess a visit. A slightly sleazy Wings Hauser and Hollywood Blvd along with prostitution as the backdrop makes a wonderful early 80s flick worth the rewatch as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Harbinger Down (DVD) – A film written and directed by Alec Gillis with very cool practical creature effects starring Lance Henriksen as a captain of crab fishing boat out in the Bering Sea. He picks up some whale researchers that include his daughter that are there to measure climate change. One night the crab guys pick up something unusual after it was spotted by the researchers. Encased in ice they debate over whose find it is? But after some melting they notice the ball of ice is old wreckage with a pilot inside. But it’s too late something has escaped onto the boat and trying to take over all humans. Trying to figure out if its alien or not they figure out it was a decade’s old experiment that the Russians may have let the ship find it and see how the creature reacts? Plain old fashion creature feature with lots of cool creations and the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen taking charge trying to bring this ever changing thing down! A very solid and entertaining sci-fi/horror flick with more than enough cool creatures that deserves 3 stars.

 

FDR: American Bad Ass (DVD) – This film is an accurate portrayal of FDR played by Barry Bostwick our wheelchair bound president who led the US against the Nazis! In the early 30s FDR is bitten by a werewolf that gives him polio. FDR loses use of his legs but doesn’t let that get in the way of him going from governor to President of the United States. The film follows him from the campaign trail to where FDR gears up and fights Nazi werewolves in order to keep them off of US soil! To just explain it does not do the film justice as also the great cast makes this hilarious flick work. The great cast consists: Ray Wise, Barry Bostwick, Robin Sydney (Full Moon fanatics know her well), Kevin Sorbo as Lincoln, Lin Shaye, and Paul Ben-Victor as Werewolf Hitler. So you need to refresh your history this is the first place to start with this masterpiece of accurate history as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Monolith (DVD) – Bill Paxton and Lindsay Frost are two detectives that accidentally get involved with a highly secretive government project that consists of an alien force/parasite that has awakened. This parasite is able to jump from human body to another trying to get to its ship to leave. The government or John Hurt is willing to risk the world as this has been his life to find answers from this force. Throw in a little bit of Louis Gossett Jr. and you have a fine sci-fi feature that was mostly overlooked in the early 90s as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Void (DVD) – An extremely vague but interesting horror film that has some of the best movie creatures since ‘The Thing’? A man is picked up along a dark road and brought into a closing hospital by a small town police officer. Things only get stranger when the man does not wanna quit babbling and the police officer is attacked by a person in a white sheet outside. Once the doctor and nurses stop the bleeding on the officer more of these people in white sheets show up. Meanwhile another nurse goes nuts, rips her face off and stabs a patient in his eye killing him and that’s when it gets even weirder??? Two guys show up bitching about a massacre, a huge disgusting creature steals the state trooper and begins feeding on him, and apparently the good doctor of the hospital is the next Pinhead!? Fun and gruesomely entertaining film! My only drawback with the film is you must pay attention to pick up on some of the happenings because I would have liked a little more explanation. But this film is easily the new horror generation’s ‘Hellraiser’? I give this amazing creature filled film 3 ½ stars and most likely be somewhere on my “Best of 2017 movie list”.

 

The Shallows (DVD) – Blake Lively is a young woman who is at a crossroads in her life and just wants to visit a place her mother told her about. So she surfs and loses herself until the last surf out she finds a large dead whale and the huge ass shark that happens to be hanging out there. Injured and panicking she must act fast to survive and gets on a rock during low tide. Trapped she must survive the night and figure things out as the shark circles. The next day after a few attempts people are killed by the shark trying to save her so she either dies on the rock or figures out how to escape? The film has that fun ‘Jaws’ feel, the film is shot really well, and Blake Lively puts on a great performance. Add this flick to your list of great shark films to watch every summer as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Dead 7 (DVD) – Asylum Entertainment does it again as they do their own ‘Magnificent Seven’ but with zombies. The apocalypse has happened and zombies or in this case “copperheads” have taken over. Years have passed and now some people like the simpler way of living (Old west) and some like Apocalypta gather an army of undead to overrun the small thriving towns to take their supplies. A small town deputy goes on the search for several individuals to be crazy enough to go up the mountain and kill Apocalypta and her army of undead. Its cheesy and somewhat watchable but remember I have watched much worse as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Nightforce (DVD) – Rich kids don’t have much to do until their friend Christy is kidnapped by drug dealing terrorists from Central America. All because Christy’s father Senator Hanson has declared war on the drug dealing terrorists. So they want a ransom and want him to back down from his new policy. Linda Blair and friends gather weapons and make their way to Central America where they meet up with a war vet (Richard Lynch) and his pet monkey to take down the man and his troops who kidnapped their friend. Hilarious and over the top violence rules in this movie as Linda Blair is fucking people up in order to help her friend escape. If you pay attention closely you also get to see the great actress Kathleen Kinmont in a bar scene. I give 3 stars just because I miss this type of entertaining films where random 80s movies were just made never questioned…

 

Outlaw Force (VHS) – So Billy Ray is a stunt show cowboy who also sings. But when his wife is killed and daughter is kidnapped by some punks rolling through town he becomes an outlaw! Paul Smith and Frank Stallone are two officers of the law trying to track down Billy Ray’s daughter but when they are not getting the job done Billy Ray takes the law into his own hands. One by one he shoots, stabs, and hangs his way through the punks. And when he isn’t doing that he is singing his song “This Honkey is gonna Honkeytonk Tonight”. Another random fun B-movie from 1989 that is most likely get lost when a new movie format comes out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

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