Tag Archives: Troma

Gross Movie Reviews #694

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Transylvania Tapes (DVD) – Latest project from the talented independent soul Brad Sykes takes us to Bucharest! A dramatic horror found footage/documentary mash up that follows a young woman Mara was born in Romania but moved to L.A. when she was very young. After a family member died in the past year she found tapes of what her mother made in 1997 looking for a possible family property but disappeared mysteriously. Mara travels across the world to make a documentary about her following in her mother’s footsteps to also hopefully find some answers. Mara’s mother was an actress and in theater during the 80s and was very popular in the area as she uses this to help track down some old peers of her mother’s to interview. As Mara gets deep with some of these interviews a curse is mentioned several times which of course Mara refuses to listen to warnings about looking for her mother. The film is quite intriguing and beautiful as this somewhat found footage film comes off genuine compared to many from the past. What also helps this project along is the actor that plays Mara; Valeria Badiuc absolutely has a natural charm that lures you in to be interested in her journey. Now I was a little upset Charles Band or his castle were not in the film and the film runs a little long for me at 109 minutes but Ms. Badiuc’s performance and Mr. Sykes using the beautiful landscape and buildings as a character itself lends this to be a must watch independent film in 2026! I give this light mash up 3 out of 4 stars.

Coven of the Black Cube (Blu-ray) – There was all kinds of cool people from the independent genre that show up in this old school no budget vibe kind of flick. The film revolves a young woman questioning her relationship as she meets the head of a coven named Clover who legit seems to have real concern for the young woman VI. Clover actually sees potential in VI in allowing her into her witchy life for better understanding of what can be better than what she has become accustomed too. The only thing VI doesn’t know is Clover takes great pleasure in helping women kill their husbands/boyfriends with a potion she has come up with. The story at its core is all about Clover being a serial killer with this witchery stuff as the background that is mixed into a very perverse love story that wasn’t meant to be as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Blood Oath (DVD) – A Troma release from 2011 that has friends who tell a story about an urban legend then go looking for it to see if it is at all true? The slim backstory is that a deranged child lives in the woods looking for victims that come to this cabin. Of course said group of friends find the cabin and slowly they are slaughtered by this hulking deranged killer. Not a ton to this bare bones slasher film but also might be why not many of seek it out for a watch as I can only give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Zombies of the Third Reich (Tubi) – It is war time and the Nazis are under extreme pressure by their relentless leader to create super soldiers in some unknown French bunker! Problem is the bunker has gone quiet recently as the Allies were keeping tabs and fear the worst as they send in a recon/rescue team to get one of their own out. The special team gets in quickly but soon understands getting in was never the problem as getting out will be as the Nazi experiment cannot get out in the real world. Believe me you read about this film and will wanna see it and hope it’s even a fraction of ‘Dead Snow’ or ‘Outpost’ but it doesn’t even come close. The film from the beginning fails from poor execution or just plain laziness of getting this project together. Not so much of the characters but everything around them. If you watch you’ll understand and want to forget it as quickly as you chose to watch it as I give it a ½ star.

Island Escape (Tubi) – A team of mercenaries is dropped onto a mysterious island to rescue a scientist where an unknown experiment has been going on for decades. Once the team arrives they immediately find some mysterious but monstrous foes that seem hell bent on attacking the team. In a short span of time the team figures out they have been dropped into an insane wormhole experiment that resets the island every three days and they cannot escape the ongoing experiment. As time quickly goes by the team understands there is multiple versions of them on the island and it’s endless. I enjoyed the concept of this film but it gets a little murky in the middle as it seems to have a tough time of how they wanted to resolve this wormhole issue they were in but still give it 2 stars for being interesting.  

The Creeps (Amazon) – So some old creepy Russian guy opens a portal to a dimension where demons float out to infest snowmen at Finnish ski resort! Sounds corny, sounds like you have seen this ten times before but I advise you have not kids. Now enters our main character Zach who is 17 at said ski resort with a friend (raises way too many questions but that is for a whole other conversation that you will have to ignore that plot point to enjoy this film) who has a love for the 80s nostalgia. The movie wastes no time as the creatures attack a party that Zach and friends attend as Zach hides in an outhouse/porta potty to talk to his Grandpa Joe Dante! Once Zach comes out of hiding the movie shifts into high gear of chaos, blood, and Christopher Lambert with Highlander references that will simply blow your mind in this most entertaining piece of cinema! Kids this project is 4 stars all the way so yinz need to seek it out immediately as Christopher lets us know one more time, “there can only be one”.

Final Caller (Blu-ray) – I still stand by this review but it was time to go check out the Blu-ray version of this film as I feel this is one of the more under the radar projects of Mr. Sheets’ career. The Blu-ray comes with a great BTS segment of Todd just being down to earth and explaining what was going on in his life while this project was going on, there is a commentary of course, and a short film ‘The Request’. Also too it just felt like Todd was trying something out of his comfort zone… : Todd Sheets fresh off the killer ‘Bonehill Road’ and the over the top ‘Clownado’ is back with an ultra-low budget film that involves a shock jock and his show “On Through the Night” where he tells strange stories and takes calls. For Roland the shock jock tonight seems like any other night of doing his show where he is yelling into the mic putting down his fans and spewing conspiracies. But his soon to be ex-wife shows up with the divorce papers and a caller called “The Outsider” who is going to fulfill some kind of ancient ritual by brutally murdering young women. The caller claims it is up to Roland to stop him from being a serial killer but of course Roland takes this as some kind rubbish and hangs up. This begins a hellish downward spiral for the show and all involved as “The Outsider” keeps calling back to yell back at Roland and explain how he devours his victims as he kills them and will visit Roland to complete the ritual. Roland now finds himself in world of crazy shit as he is trying to escape his own radio show and not become part of the bloody body count of “The Outsider”. This is a straight forward gore and even more extreme gore Todd Sheets project that will have his fans screaming for a sequel as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Saurians 2 (Tubi) – Mark Polonia’s son Anthony takes over the reins for the sequel 30 years later to tell the story of a dinosaur or two rising from a mountain in Fossil Valley. It seems the dinosaurs have awaken again and this time around a duo called “Crypto Duo” are not just in the area to interview survivor Alan about his ordeal but to also investigate the new occurrences. There is a lot of filler to this short feature but eventually the duo finds themselves transported into a long lost world debating what should be done with the dinosaurs. If I am being completely honest here this feels like something Mark and Anthony were paid straight up to put out there for content more than giving a strong sequel? It feels like pieces of stock footage from other projects strung together with maybe a few new scenes with the Alan character. It isn’t terrible, I just feel fans would have wanted more since it’s a sequel to a Polonia dinosaur project that fans may have forgotten as I can only give this 1 out of 4 stars.

Pickaxe (DVD) – Well this is a sloppy sex-filled monstrous slasher film that was entertaining as hell. It is 1988 and after a naked blood soaked sacrifice a crazed undead serial killer has returned from the grave to continue his carnage in Woodland Hills. Two people survived the first go around with Alex Black as now one is a cop (A. Michael Baldwin) and the second is drunken crazed person (Tiffany Shepis) that burned down an asylum a year after being committed. These two must answer the call as a group of supposed teenagers have traveled to a cabin near Woodland Hills for a drug induced drunken loud sex before heading to a concert. Alex Black the monstrous mess he is wastes no time hacking off heads and ripping out hearts because an evil amulet he wears. Yeah this blood soaked slasher has its flaws but the chemistry between Baldwin and Shepis’ characters as them not just being cameos help you oversee the flaws of this adventure. This picture also could have used a Matt Cannon for a better score. You may not enjoy the lackluster ending but again this was quite entertaining horror fans and yinz need to seek it out as I give it 3 stars.

One Million Babes BC (Tubi) – This Mark Polonia adventure made me laugh several times throughout the picture. Not sure that was the intention but I see it for what it was and just had fun watching two visitors discover a cave to tell the story that was written on the walls by the first people who could stand and have independent thought. These individuals read the drawings and tell the story of Luna and Ogg who are the superiors of a tribe who are at odds with each other. At some point Ogg feels threaten by Luna and feels she should be sacrificed to the volcano gods to help their tribe. Yes there is a dinosaur farting (oh yes I laughed my ass off), yes Tim Hatch makes a perfect caveman and Jamie Morgan is quite a bad ass, yes they are all wearing flip flops and loafers, but I feel if you watch this through the lens of those 50s and 60s B-movie types that had cave people you’ll find this entertaining and have a few laughs too as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #658

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Tsunami Sharks (YouTube) – Another shark flick out of the UK where this time around an unlikely tsunami hits a European city and along with it comes blood thirsty sharks. As the water rises the sharks infest the city as they trap people in their homes, buildings, and restaurants, you get the picture. The people need to be quick on their feet as they try to survive and figure out how to escape the sharks. It is a quick stupid shark filled fun flick I give 2 stars too.

Mountain Shark (Tubi) – Just another rando shark film out of the UK area where this time a scientist has perfected an experiment of a shark living and swimming in the countryside mountains of the UK. Think ‘Tremors’ with bad CGI? Anyhow it was supposed to be a decommissioned military project but the shark has escaped. A non-descript group of military persons are brought in to supposedly capture the creature but the good doctor is using them to make his killing machine that much more perfect. There was something that bothered me in the middle of the film when the scientist is holding a gun on the military persons and kept looking away let alone the gun he had on them was going away from them too… Why didn’t one these fuckers fuck his ass up immediately? Isn’t this what they train for or am I weird movie nerd overthinking this and the movie would have been half as long? Anyway, if you get past the shark looking better in the original PSone Resident Evil game you will be entertained and enjoy as I give this 2 ½ stars.

Blood Tracks (DVD) – A relatively unknown weirdo flick from the mid-80s about a rock band “Solid Gold” going to a snowy mountain with an abandoned factory to shoot their latest music video. Unknown to those who have invaded these premises a family has been living off the grid in the factory over the past four decades. Think ‘The Hills Have Eyes” meets “Slaughterhouse” with snow! An avalanche and the camera man being attacked by something leads the crew to be on high alert but just speeds up the process as the family wastes no time murdering everyone in a bloody manner. One problem folks, even cleaned up there is still some dark scenes that you will keep you squinting to see as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Dick Dynamite: 1944 (On Demand) – The latest crowd funded project involving Nazis getting their ass kicked in bloody style. Its 1944 and the Nazis have a new experimental liquid that they are testing on women and children that they want to drop on Manhattan to turn the whole city into zombies. Anyway Dick Dynamite is a big muscle bound soldier who is released from prison to lead his dirty half dozen to stop the Nazis ultimate plan. The project was shot over a couple of years and has a lot laughs and gore but if you are like me you have seen this type of film maybe one too many times? It isn’t terrible but its non-ending in my opinion didn’t help me liking this film as I place this in the category of the “trailer looks better than the finished project” as I give it 2 stars.

Backwoods Marcy (DVD) – This interesting project is a 1999 SOV film out of Sharkey Video directed by and stars the talented Dawn Murphy. A real estate dude named Donald is lost in the middle of nowhere for a meeting about a property he was going to check out. After picking up one hitchhiker to get his whistle wet he picks up another named Marcy. Marcy literally looks like a backwoods person who hates city folk but is very willing to help Donald for a ride to see her kin. When Donald gets upset by her smell he throws her out of the car with being lost and frustrated then accidently runs Marcy down with the car. This is where the real story begins as Marcy has Donald exactly where she wants him. Marcy catches her victim then proceeds to rape, torture, and cages Donald for her pleasure as she will kill anyone that comes sniffing around the campsite. The film is simply brilliant with its use of story, use of locations, and reversing the roles of backwoods horror as Marcy is relentless in making Donald her pet as that makes for an entertaining no budget film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

It’s a Wonderful Knife (Shudder) – Winnie is a senior in high school looking forward to college and life is grand until a serial killer shows up to her small holiday town of Angel Falls. Then Winnie’s life is changed forever as she just happens to kill the serial killer and he is unmasked to reveal it is the asshole real estate guy Mr. Waters who employees her father. One year later Winnie is stuck in a rut as it looks like all around her has forgotten the events of last Christmas except her. So just like the old holiday classic she wishes to never be born as this throws her into an alternate reality where everything is different as Mr. Waters own everything and still killing anyone who he feels is not a volunteer part of his end game. Winnie finds a new friend and they must kill again in order to restore Winnie’s reality? A holiday horror maybe aimed for the ‘Happy Death Day’ crowd but I still enjoyed it for what it was as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Santastein (Tubi) – A young man named Max has been stealing corpses in his spare time from the local morgue. He has a plan on restoring Santa as Max was the reason for Santa’s death several years ago and since then it doesn’t snow along with Santa no longer delivering presents. With the help of his friend’s Paige experiment his plan is to reanimate Santa to bring back Christmas! Sounds great in theory to Max until the undead Santa is slaughtering folks who are naughty. I enjoyed, I laughed at this project that doesn’t overthink it as it has fun with the story at hand as I give it 3 stars.

Junk Bonds: The Return of the Junk Bucket (Tubi) – In this Indy sequel Cassie is a survivor of a cannibal family who loves cutting off people’s junk. Yes it is a parody of ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ but with dicks! As the survivor Cassie is recaptured by the family they want to celebrate their son’s special day with strippers of course which sets in motion a whole new batch of dick cutting and vagina stabbing. I could never tracked the first film so of course I just went ahead and watched the sequel first as fans of old school Troma will be happy seeing this project keeping the Troma spirit alive as I give the film 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #648

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Splatter Theater: Behind the Scenes (DVD) – In summer of 2011 filmmaker Sean Donohue filmed a behind the scenes documentary of a live stage show called ‘Splatter Theater’ in Tampa, Florida. I being me always interested in some of Sean’s earlier work I was able to come in possession of this project. A younger Sean Donohue was able to catch all the gory lead up to the day the show open to the public as we get a lot of Styx soundtrack through the 40 minute film. Also a fun cool present on this same DVD is Sean’s short film ‘Bloody English’ where a pantry-sniffing psycho waits inside a home to kill a couple. The short is followed up by an interview of Sean and his work on the short film. But my question into this early work especially while he did this interview segment, “what is up with that weird bruise on your head dude?” If you are one of those people that like seeing how stuff gets constructed then you’ll enjoy Sean’s early work here as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Joe Vampire (DVD) – Another early Sean Donohue project that he co-directed with Mike Niche in 2012 and released in 2014. This feature stars Mike Christopher from ‘Dawn of the Dead’ fame as Joe Vampire who was bitten during the Civil War but now deals with today’s society of just trying to blend in the background. A young woman named Melissa catches the eye of Joe while at a hole in the wall bar where they don’t exactly hit it off until Joe Vampire saves her in the alley from being assaulted. From there the two quickly develop a connection and after a renewed conversation Joe feels the need to come out to Melissa that he is a vampire. Instead of being scared off she becomes obsessed with becoming part of the undead. Now enters an old friend in Drake to Joe and not so good things could be coming for Joe Vampire and his afterlife. This is one of those projects in my opinion has a great concept but wrong lead actor? Mike Christopher didn’t do anything wrong and clearly has a connection with the Melissa character that goes beyond  the screen but felt a lesser known lead actor might have been the way to go in this Indy project as I give 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In (On Demand) – A young man Chan Lok-kwun looking to be paid for his services so he can get his ID is screwed over by Mr. Big (Sammo Hung). In turn Chan grabs a bag believing its money and not a sack full of drugs and goes running from the gang. Its 1980 Hong Kong and Chan get chased into the citadel. This is a walled off society from the rest of Hong Kong that actually existed! Chan might be able to defend himself against the thugs of Mr. Big but he cannot defend himself when he is facing ‘the barber’. This older man hands Chan his ass without dropping his cigarette and explains if he stays he must become a functional part of what they all do there. The young man just wants to make enough money in order to travel and get his ID but slowly the real identity of Chan comes out that causes Mr. Big and son to try a takeover of the walled in city! The fight scenes are unlike some of the most top notch stuff on screen and this story just sucks you into this 1980 Hong Kong universe. If you are a fan of such titles ‘The Raid’ or ‘Triple Threat’ please give this action/fantasy a try because this will be one of the best movies you watch in 2024 as I give it 4 stars.

Jason in Indianapolis A Friday the 13th Tribute (YouTube) – The film is a fan made project from Samuel L. Schmucker who has made a few fan films in his career so this shouldn’t be a surprise but also got cameos from CJ Graham, Bill Russell, Mel Heflin, and Heather Harlow. To put this version in perspective it looks like this Jason is before part four and six where Jason still has some human traits. So one day Jason kills an Indy wrestler in the woods of Crystal Lake and “mother” begins to speak to Jason about a house a few states away? Along the way Jason is spotted in several wooded areas and kills all who comes near until he reaches his destination. According to news sources this abandoned house somehow belongs in the Voorhees family? Not one of the most exciting fan films plus Jason crossing state lines didn’t really work in ‘Jason Takes Manhattan’ so viewer beware as I could only give this 1 out of 4 stars.

Buttcrack (DVD) – A rather odd film released by Troma and that is saying a lot that was released in 1998 about a young man Brian and his annoying roommate Wade nicknamed “Buttcrack”. Brian has wanted to get more serious with his girlfriend Annie but Wade keeps getting in the way with his buttcrack. One day Brian accidentally kills Wade in the bathroom only to be cursed by Wade’s sister who happens to be a witch. Not long before an undead Wade pays a visit to Brian believing everything is good but with the help of Preacher Man Bob they are both in agreement something needs to be done to put Wade back in his resting place. The film then becomes a hilarious misadventure of dealing with the undead. I have known about the film for many years as I just never found time to watch it. Always one of those films that kept slipping my mind when I would hit the video store, etc., and wish I would have watched it years ago as I believe the film didn’t exactly thrill me at this time? Maybe it’s because I wasn’t a huge Mojo Nixon fan? Was never into him so that could have impacted my opinion? If anything I do respect the cult following of this project and finally glad I did find the time to watch this feature as I give it 2 ½ stars and cross it off the list of stuff I need to watch.

Zombeez (Tubi) – Some small town farms are losing honeybee hives for unknown reasons in this low budget feature. This concerns Jess the coroner as she sells honey on the side and knows this could affect the whole town? Along comes Jake the bug guy to investigate the problem but the real problem is Jake left Jess at the altar three years ago so it is a little messy trying to figure out what’s wrong with the bees. Quickly the bees begin to attack and kill people so the mystery isn’t so much about the chemical that mutated the bees that are now killing people but how you can kill the bees? With weed smoke folks! You had me at CGI zombie bees but there is no way this movie should have pushed 100 minutes as this would have been perfect at 65 or 70 minutes… But still a fun cheesy low budget pick for those like me that love killer bee flicks as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #639

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Galaxy Warriors (DVD) – Veteran Indy filmmaker Brett Kelly uses his mind and his usual no budget to bring a futuristic women in prison movie together. A bounty hunter in space under the name Demeter is contacted about her sister Artemis being imprisoned on a prison planet. So it is big sister to the rescue as her and co-pilot gets thrown in prison to find her sister. Once there Demeter notices everything is not going according to plan and they will need lots of help to make their escape. The film has a lot heart and feels like a 90s independent movie more than a recent one. But it loses some steam towards the end as it felt like Mr. Kelly wasn’t totally sure on how to end this project but that is just me thinking out loud there? No matter what I see fans of Brett Kelly enjoying this film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Amityville Bigfoot (DVD/Tubi) – Shawn Phillips returns to the director’s chair with entry #60 folks! This time around there are scientists in a secluded cabin experimenting on what should be an unknown creature, “Bigfoot”? What else the plot throws at you is a movie shoot about Bigfoot that is ongoing in the same woods, there are also activists against Amityville Chemical, and a few rando homeless people smoking weed. Once the creature escapes the cabin and there are more sinister things at play here Bigfoot begins his bloody rampage through the woods slaughtering all who cross him. This Bigfoot slasher (maybe?) also stars Eric Roberts, Trent Haaga, and the wonderful Tuesday Knight. I am not totally sure what exactly this entry had to do with Amityville but it was fun to see a movie that could be considered a Bigfoot slasher as I give it 2 stars.

Shakespeare’s Shitstorm (On Demand) – Only Troma could pull something off like this where a new drug has hit the shelves from “Big Pharma” called “Safespacia”: a pill for 18 to 30 year olds so they don’t feel an uncomfortable moment in their lives. They can see friends because it helps create a safe space around them. The story or parody is of Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” like only Lloyd can produce. A boatload of Big Pharma execs are shipwrecked onto the shore of Tromaville, New Jersey. From there they all go looking for help and find “Prospero’s Retreat” in an alley of Tromaville where they can continue their partying and evil ways. But little they know the club is run by a scientist named Prospero who was ousted many years before because he wasn’t in it for the money? Now it’s Prospero’s turn to get his revenge but will that change when his blind daughter falls in love with the big exec’s son? The film takes on all the recent issues of social justice, etc., etc., no stone goes unpunished in usual Troma fashion. As usual the film is perverse and fun but felt like about 60 minutes in or so the message was being beaten into you instead of entertaining you but I still liked the movie enough to give it 3 stars.

Flesh Games (DVD) – What looks like another ‘Jackass’ fan film goes in a little bit of a different direction? A small group of so-called no name stuntmen and comedians are getting the “band back together” to start filming some Jackass adventures again like they did some years before. Then they were teenagers like a lot of people who were influenced by Knoxville and crew but now they are border-line out of shape folks getting drunk and reliving the past while filming it. There is the grandma skit, terrible twister, Homerun derby, glass jaw, skateboarding accidents… you get the picture where this Indy film is going. What seems like just another Indy film being a copycat of the popular project “Magnum Opus: The Movie” from Addison Binek takes a dark odd twist of how far is too far about ¾’s the way through the film. Trying not to spoil it as it was kind of a small surprise for this just over 60 minute movie that I think Indy fans will embrace if they stick this out what it was really going for as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Can find it for purchase at:  https://srscinemastore.com/search?q=Flesh+Games

The Primevals (Full Moon) – A passion project from no other than David Allen under Charles Band’s Full Moon Pictures label that has been in some kind of production for decades. Sadly David Allen died in 1999 never seeing the project finished. As the story goes Allen who did the wonderful puppet effects in the first couple ‘Puppet Master’ films had been trying to get this project up and going for decades starting right after the film ‘Laserblast’. Not until the early 90s did Band have the funds for Allen to pull the production off but one thing after another happened causing this project to never being finished and talked about many Full Moon fans for years. But to Charles Band’s credit and some others getting involved in a recent crowd funding campaign the film was finished and restored so all of us fans get to see the fun stop-motion stuff that brings this picture to life! The story revolves around a discovered frozen Yeti and sent off to the U.S. for presentation to get everyone excited for such a creature. This event sparks an expedition to do research in the Himalayas to possibly find proof or another one of these creatures? Their adventure literally leads the group to another world where lizard people/things control the Yetis and rule in this possible alternate prehistoric world! The film comes off very family friendly but the real star is no doubt the stop motion effects of the Yeti and the lizard men that is just such a wonderful throwback to old school filmmaking that will thrill not just Full Moon fans but some cinema buffs too. Thank you to all who got this together for us movie fans to check out and thank you David Allen even though you didn’t get to see you finished product as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Blood, Guts and Sunshine 2: The History of Horror Made in Florida (DVD) – A sequel from Chris Woods who once again dives into the rich history of filmmaking in Florida. There are lots of stories and interviews with such legends Fred Olen Ray, J.R. Bookwalter, Sean Donohue, Chris Woods himself, along with a few well known online movie critics. The first entry dealt with a lot of recent Indy films that have been released and made there where this sequel explains the history of some of our favorite horror films being made there but how different parts of the state can be used for any part of the world for said film. I quite enjoyed also this documentary felt a little more polished than the first but the real gem might be Fred Olen Ray telling stories of how he sold his first film and his experiences early on in his career. Rather entertaining B-movie stuff that very few could pull off or even be done today. Entertaining as hell kids as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars and believe me you will learn something that you didn’t know from this doc. Soon to be available through www.gatorbladefilms.com   

Amityville Backpack (Tubi) – No, you haven’t lost your mind as this is entry #61 into this long running series that doesn’t surprise me what they do next but know I will be there to watch and keep track of. From the filmmaker behind the ‘Death Toilet’ series we get this entry where a possessed backpack is bought from a garage sale. (Sorry folks, the vibrator in the yard sale were the best concept) Anyhow, after a kid is murdered by the backpack (you got me paying attention right there) Luther buys the backpack at the garage sale believing it is the answer to all his woes of forgetting stuff? Doesn’t take long for the backpack to try killing Poopsie the cat and heading off to the pool for a beer before killing anyone in its path around Luther at the office. Or at least all the people who have this weird obsession of putting on a backpack? Also if that wasn’t enough the object knows how to shoot a gun and drive a car as over 80 minutes is too much. I believe this joke would have worked so much better as a twenty minute short but that is my opinion as I give it 1 ½ stars. Sometimes projects are better as short films, examples: Amityville Quilt Store and Amityville Outhouse.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #635

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MR-9: Do or Die (Vimeo) – An action film out of Bangladesh that bases the film on a series of novels about an agent called “MR-9” or  a version of an international bad ass spy! Anyhow the CIA comes a knocking (Michael Jai White) at the BCI to hopefully use agent MR-9 to gain access to R&R Robotics or the Ross Brothers legit enterprise to stop Frank Grillo aka Roman Ross from blowing up some of the world’s most famous dams. With the help of MR-9 the Vegas event goes well that it has Ross on the ropes giving room for the CIA to close in and stop the brothers from pulling off a huge criminal event. This Bangladesh film has the formula down: Big opening, secret agent, lots of action, and give action film fans a quick taste of Grillo and White fighting at the end. The film isn’t perfect but it is a fun international action flashback to the solid 90s direct-to-video action stuff Americans we use to see on a regular basis. The biggest flaw might have been tacking onto the ending to set up a second upcoming film of MR-9 but remember this isn’t the usual American action film fare. But no matter what you got me wanting to see the next entry as I give this solid film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Invasion of the Space Preachers (DVD) – Here is a 1990 Indy film that has two friends (a dentist and an account) heading to the woods for a week of fun. On their way to the cabin they rented of course they find a wounded alien and take it with them. Once the alien heals up it turns into a beautiful woman to hang out and blend in with the two fellows as something fishy is going on among the locals and their preacher? The alien/now beautiful woman has come to stop the creepy preacher and its plans to wreak havoc internationally! If you have never seen the film it will be entertaining as hell for the independent movie fans if you are casual movie watcher, you better just move on as I give this fun flick 2 ½ stars.

Monster Busters (DVD) – A 2009 film out of Denmark that comes off as a ‘Goosebumps’ clone where grandpa tells the grandkids stories of hunting monsters in his younger days. Things seem normal until grandpa gets sick and taken to the hospital allowing for one of the grandkids to accidentally let loose a “shadow monster”. Once grandpa gets better he helps coach the kids into Monster Busters so they can recapture the monster that cannot be killed and understand and respect Grandpa’s stuff. The cute monster movie is family fun from a different country that is worth the search if you are a ‘Goosebumps’ fan as I give it 3 stars.

Lycan Colony (DVD) – Again no budget filmmakers, “If you are going to make a werewolf film you better have one hell of a werewolf costume?” In this 2006 independent werewolf film a young lady Sarah bites the new neighbor boy Stew for no other reason other to taste him… I guess? This goes down while Stew’s father is busy fighting werewolf extras that couldn’t afford costumes in a bar and he happens to find out the whole town they moved too is full of werewolves. About ¾’s a way through the film there is some non-sense trying to explain why the werewolves exist in this little town. If that isn’t enough for this mess of a film you will question “WTF you are watching” when you get to its weird video game bullshit to close out the film. And yes I am still not sure WTF I watched as I give this movie 1 star.

Death Rider: In the House of Vampires (On Demand) – The second project written and directed by Glen Danzig which I have stayed away from the first project as too many people made sure I knew how bad that one was. But I may get to that first project sooner than later after watching this? Anyhow, this western has a man, I mean vamp in black knocking at the door of a safe place for vampires with his virgin for entry. Mainly this vampire named Rider is there for revenge is the best way to describe this weirdly filmed western. The movie isn’t terrible as Glen Danzig seem to splash together the legendary Eastwood 60s westerns with Carpenter’s “Vampires” that somehow became a bootleg of a bootleg of “From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman’s Daughter”… without much happening. But what stands out to me more than the star-studded cast might be how this vampire film was shot as it came off as a high tech editing error or totally on purpose for some reason only known to Mr. Danzig himself? There is a weird delay or something? It is one of those movies that has the cast, the budget, and a script but totally unprepared on what to do with it as I give this project 2 stars. P.S. thank you Mr. Danzig for allowing me to look like a better actor than you, please people go compare and enjoy the laugh.

XXX-Mas (Blu-ray) – Johnny Duckett just happens to be a filmmaker of porn with his latest adult film production supposed to be this epic holiday porno like no other with all the bells and whistles! Duckett wants this production to start off a Marvel-like porn universe of holiday porn? Meanwhile Santa has just sat down to eat some cookies and watch one of his favorite holiday films on VHS. Santa sees something naughty on said VHS tape and makes a point to go to the porn set to assault all who are taking part in the porn shoot. Drew Marvick was perfect as the killer Santa! And it is always great seeing the talented Felissa Rosa and Jessa Flux but in the end it just felt like this independent production lacked the memorable staying power of a holiday horror movie other than Drew Marvick being a great killer Santa as I give this project 2 stars.

Debbie Rochon Confidential My Years in Tromaville: Exposed (DVD) – I was expecting a documentary but got a clip show of Debbie Rochon’s work with Lloyd and Troma. It isn’t a bad thing if you are a fan but never did a deep dive into Debbie’s work with Troma TV and Troma promos? Or ever been exposed to her work with Troma? The real treat might be the “Fangoria Trailer Park” extra that is on the DVD? It is a Fango TV thing from the early 2000s that horror fans may have never known about but would enjoy to check out. This was way before Shudder was a thing and how there were several horror outlets or websites taking a stab at trying to really establish a horror network. So by some chance you never been introduce to this talented actress Debbie Rochon this will most likely be a good watch for you as I give it 3 stars.

Aftershock (YouTube/VHS) – A 1990 post-apocalyptic film I have never heard of happen to come to my attention so of course I made a point to check this out. And kids I was not disappointed with its casting of John Saxon, James Lew, Michael Berryman, Richard Lynch, and Matthias Hues! The film is set in a world ravaged by war but still being controlled by something called the “Central Control Information Bureau”. This organization’s goal is to keep humans in line in this post nuke new world. Elizabeth Kaitan of “Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood” fame is an alien that has happen to set down in this mess and spends most of her time on the run from these Central Control non-sense guys or mainly John Saxon. Great cast but not much to the plot other than stealing from “They Live” of telling citizens to wake up and throw in an alien and we got our post-apocalyptic movie that I give 2 ½ stars.

Darkness of Man (On Demand) – An aging JCVD was an Interpol agent that made a promise of protecting a teenager after his mother dies. Now two years later Russell and Jayden get caught up in a violent street war between the Russians trying to take over the neighborhood Korean town where the old Korean mob has been established for decades. Think of a slow burn “John Wick” that has subtle ways of using some solid familiar action stars to blend this story of the burned out former Interpol agent being used by the Korean mob. Might not be the best of the JCVD catalog but might be his most plots driven to date as I give it 3 stars.

The Third Saturday in October (Shudder) – I quite enjoyed this throwback to a 70s slasher film as this one has heart with the music, the look, and the cars. Set in 1979 Alabama where deranged killer Jack Harding is being put to death for his killing spree in 1968 but has refused to say a word since. When Harding is electrocuted there is a man (Ricky Dean Logan) and a woman (Vicki Newton) that is witnesses of the execution who also wanna see him buried in the ground to be sure he is dead. But don’t let a good electrocution keep this killer down as he rises from his coffin to kill again and heads to the town of Hackleburg to restart his bloody rampage. Ricky and Vicki soon believe Jack Harding isn’t human but some kind of unstoppable monster. This is one of the few nostalgic slasher films in the past several years that have gotten the formula right! When watching your 70s slasher film makes me think of “Halloween” and “Phantasm” but also finds a way to give me chills you know you have made this horror fan happy who is old enough to remember that time as I gotta give this wonderful nostalgic 70s movie 4 stars! Horror fans that enjoyed “Late Night with the Devil” will enjoy this also.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (Blu-ray) – Everyone new and old is back for this fourth installment into the franchise. They continue the storyline that something has to be done with the old containment unit before it’s too late? This also sets up a new ghost villain or phantom from an ancient orb that has not been seen in centuries is about to use the containment unit to help send the world in chaos and darkness. Once again it is up to the Ghost Busters to stop “The Death Chill” in this family fun movie that may not be as good as “Afterlife” but let me remind you these movies should have been made thirty years ago. So shut up and just enjoy we are even getting these movies as I give it 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #556

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Gross Movie Reviews #556

Combat Shock (DVD) – A surprisingly different movie and caused a little backlash for its subject matter at the time when Troma picked this film up in 1986. This well done gritty flick centers in on a Vietnam vet Frankie and gives you a typical day in the life of Frankie’s harsh reality. It has been several years since Frankie has been back from the war but like a lot of vets he still has trouble adjusting. Frankie just wants to have a steady job and paycheck to take care of his family. But at some point drugs, no money, depressing family life of no hope gets to Frankie and drives him to suicide after a series of crazy, dark series of events. There is no happiness in this gritty dark film just a man slowly going insane because he cannot adjust to society. I give the film 3 stars and there is an extra loaded two-disc version available from Troma.

Strange Nature (DVD) – A film based on recent events in the Northern mid-west has a middle-aged mother Kim and her son Brody moving in with dad. Dad or Pops as he is called lives in a small rural town where most people keep to themselves as Kim hoped to avoid this. Kim has a history with the town and would like to avoid talking the past but doesn’t take long for her to stir up some shit when she becomes intrigued with some deformed frogs found in the woods. At the same time there has been a few locals going missing and never really explained at the same time as Kim thinks they can be linked somehow. All this weirdness seem to start happening when American Patriot Chemicals introduced a new product into the ecosystem and now there is parasites, deformed babies, among other things being found. The film has a solid cast and a great monster payoff that makes this lesser known recent horror flick worth seeking out as I give it 3 stars.

Bone (DVD) – Always read about this 1972 Cohen flick starring Yaphet Kotto as Bone as I finally found time to sit and watch it fully for the first time. We are introduced to a supposedly wealthy couple hanging at the pool until Bone comes by to introduce himself by removing a rat out of the pool filter. This sets up a 90 minute story of a man holding up a rich couple for money and possible rape? But that is where the film decides to take a weird left turn has the viewer take a leap down the rabbit hole as Bone comes up with a plan when he finds out the couple are actually not that rich and might be crazier than anyone thought. Instead ruining more of this fun low budget surprise I leave you with this when you watch it… did the Bone character ever exist? Now think about that after you have watched this interesting gem as I give it 3 stars.

Toolbox Murders 2 (DVD) – What in the hairy nutsack was I thinking when I watched this? Oh yeah, it is a sequel, you got me. Anyhow, a lunatic that is connected to a pair of sisters who decides to kill one and keep the other as a pet and torture her in his home made ‘Hostel’ dungeon. I feel like I should love this movie but instead I found myself so completely bored I feel asleep several times trying to get through this piece of trash. Everyone consider yourself warned about this film because the sister that is kept for the dungeon should have been purged from the script before this garbage hit production as I give this 0 stars.

Bergeron Brothers: Wedding Videographers (DVD) – Well kids, if have not been introduced to BPO Films here is a good place to start as these people are just brilliant with their latest project. Two brothers who are amateur wedding videographers have decided to have a documentary about their business, how they prepare for events, training, etc., all in the hope of getting their name out there so their business can thrive. The film crew documents the hardships of these brothers living in a garage and how they train for their first big wedding event. But remember when starting a business it isn’t always successful at even if it means these brothers must face off with their nemesis Chad Johnson (who has everything, including someone’s fiancée, watch the movie you’ll understand) on a regular basis. This documentary/comedy is not just hilarious; it is downright fucking wonderfully entertaining! Literally “the hidden cameras idea” and “the shitting incident” had me still laughing after the movie was over. This project isn’t just a coming out party for these talented bastards (BPO Films) they blow the door off the movie world hinges to show they are to be taken seriously. The script is great, the story is hilarious, but what makes this project perfection in motion is the surrounding cast, all actors involved fit these characters in the film like a glove. Now that takes talent my friends as this is surely one of the best films you will watch in 2022 as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.  

13 Slays Till X-mas (Blu-ray) – A group of regular drinkers at the bar decide to tell each other stories on Christmas Eve night. An old holiday tradition according to one bar patron, as these fine folks decide to restart it. Each gets to tell two stories a piece and whoever has the worst has to pay for all the drinks. There isn’t a weak story of the bunch and a lot of good Indy talent involved in this project but wasn’t a fan of the ending of this anthology as it felt forced. But if interested the two stories from mall Santa at the bar were my favorite as one includes an evil twin of Santa Claus as I give the holiday film 2 ½ stars.

Matrix Resurrections (HBO/Max) – Things have changed now, “The Matrix” doesn’t exist, something else does and Neo and his girlfriend have been kept asleep to power the real reality. This film goes back to the first movie to explain what happened to Neo after he was first awaken and changed things for the good between man and machines. Bottom line it is fun sci-fi goobly gook that the movie nerds should enjoy. I was never a fan of the sequels but always enjoyed the first film and liked where they went with this latest entry. Need some mindless sci-fi in your life look no further as I give the latest entry 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #555

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Gross Movie Reviews #555

The Virus (YouTube) – Philip Brocklehurst busy as ever has released his latest short film that deals with the post-apocalyptic theme or recent times and its effect on a person. Earth has been devastated by biological weapons and a man who is all alone just wants to end the madness on his own terms. A bleak but very realistic look at the world right now as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars.

Tower Rats (YouTube/DVD) – To even give this mess of a Kevin Walter film a chance you have to imagine if Troma ran Tik Tok and made an anthology film using the things Troma fans posted. What seems like a miss-mash of no plot is a long string of weirdo short films pretty much only hardcore Troma fans will enjoy. It all seems to be set in the Tower District if that means anything to yinz and about ¾’s of the way into the film is that the ‘Puppet Master’ I am hearing? Kudos to Kevin for getting this all together for hardcore Troma fans but outside of them it’s gonna be hard to explain something like this to more mainstream film fans as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. 

Open House (Vimeo) – Matt Cannon from ‘Hexercise’ fame has another short film that has made its way on a recent Indy anthology that concerns a young lady named Sue. She is being trained to sell homes. When Sue is hazed by co-workers with a mask and robe in the home she is cleaning up, Sue is startled and her past comes back to haunt her co-workers. Matt’s latest effort is simple and to the point as Mr. Cannon continues his filmmaking career along with his successful composing music for film career. I give the short film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. 

The Pizzagate Massacre (DVD) – Our story begins in 2018 at a TV station where the Terri Lee show is set up and Karen Black (filmmaker/journalist) has started her new job. After dropping her headset during a live feed hearing startling news about the Illuminati conspiracy, Tootz Pizza, and children who are being used as sex slaves in the basement of this Austin, Texas pizza shop. Karen is fired but distraught by this news so of course she hires a white militia dude named Duncan to help her get proof of the lizard people touching little kids at a pizza shop! Duncan and Karen drive from Waco to Austin only to find out it’s not true but it also all goes bad in a shootout because a member of the same militia follows them and kidnaps Karen setting off a wild police chase and ending to this crazy but all but true ending as I give this interesting gem 3 stars.

Hellblock 13 (DVD) – Gunnar Hansen, Debbie Rochon, 1999, sounds like wonderful ingredients to an awesome anthology… Mostly the film comes off generic with the best performances from the two already mentioned stars that have story time before an execution. The stories are not horrible but fail to make a viewer wanna rewatch the stories being told again and again like a ‘Creepshow’ or ‘Tales from the Darkside’ as I give this anthology 2 stars.

Maniac Killer (DVD) – Bo Svenson, Chuck Connors, and Robert Ginty star in this French thriller about an escort disappearing one evening that becomes a small string of disappearances. A Professor Osborne is being wrongly accused of murder and kidnapping because of the man keeping to himself for his experiments. People who live nearby claim he is doing human experiments but the truth is Robert Ginty is to blame as he plays “creepy guy with dungeon” who believes he and his followers are purifying the evil from the French hookers. Weirdness, a couple solid actors, this is worth at least a watch as I give it 2 stars.

Honkey Holocaust (DVD) – In case you been missing out on filling your exploitation film needs this recent Indy feature does its best to intrigue you then? It is set in late 60s California where in an alternate universe The Manson Family (big strike against any filmmaker attempting to add to this turd of legacy) gets away with murder and builds a bunker. The family heads underground where Charles dies in 1979 from poor conditions but some of his clan survives including a daughter of Charles. But here is already a problem kids? If Charles died after a decade of poor conditions how didn’t the rest of the clan die? But hey, don’t let a bad plot get in the way of telling your story. After a few decades the clan comes out of the bunker to witness the “Race War”? Problem, white people are now the minority and it’s all about a prophecy being fulfilled. Kendra Manson wanders away from her clan to learn about the new world and meets a black man named Lucius who she falls in love with. Kudos for putting together an exploitation that most likely will find a cult audience but you lost me at “Manson Family” as I give this 1 ½ stars.

The Horror of it All (DVD/YouTube) – This 1964 British oddity stars Pat Boone of all people who is Jack Robinson and on his way to see his soon to be wife Cynthia. Cynthia is hanging out at the family estate because she has plans of her own before getting married but Jack cannot wait. This film is comedy of horrors that feels like an early film version of “Clue” as the family is being murdered one by one and Jack believes they all are trying to murder him before his marriage. A hilarious horror/comedy where not only Pat Boone breaks into song you can see tropes set up for future horror/comedies as I give this well worthy gem 3 stars.

The Neptune Factor (DVD) – An early 70s underwater adventure about a sea exploration crew having trouble when an earthquake on the ocean floor happens. The earthquake topples the sea lab off the edge of the ocean floor into an abyss. After a few days search by the Canadian Navy it is time for “the Neptune”. A well-equipped vessel that could conquer the deep sea for its daring rescue. The first half of the film is all about set up then the second half turns into a NatGeo special of underwater adventure with the rescue happening in the last four minutes of the film. If you like Ernest Borgnine and PG-rated undersea drama you may be in for a treat as I give it 2 ½ stars.           

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews “Top Ten of 2020”

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Gross Movie Reviews “Top Ten of 2020”

 

1) VFW (On Demand) – For the love of John Carpenter thank you Joe Begos for making this idea exist! A new drug called “Hype” has hit the streets and screwing up people quicker than ever before. The drug is making zombies or “Hypers” out of people and tearing cities down. Boz is a drug lord who is about to have a huge deal go down and kills the wrong strung out girl as her sister Lizard takes it personally and steals his stash. Nowhere to run Lizard busts into an old VFW where some old vets are just having their daily drink, watch old videos of women exercising, and telling war stories. A couple of drugged out punks follow her in and that was a big mistake as they attack one of the vets. The old vets take care of the trash pretty quickly in a brutal way. This is where the chaos or war begins as the vets must defend the post and themselves from the onslaught of strung out punks because Boz wants his stash no matter what. This film is absolutely FUCKING AWESOME! The casting of Stephen Lang, Fred Williamson, William Sadler, George Wendt, Martin Kove, and David Patrick Kelly as the war vets is perfect. This is my new ‘Assault on Precinct 13’ as I give possibly 2020s best film of the year 4 stars all the way. I will be watching this flick at least once a year.

 

2) Bad CGI Sharks (DVD) – A brilliant story about two brothers Matthew and Jason who are very close in many ways as kids. As kids they wanted to make a shark movie like no other but eventually that dream was squished as their father considered Jason a lost cause. Many years later Mathew has grown up and living out in Hollywood! Mathew’s life is turned upside down when his older brother Jason shows up who just so happens to be a bum who still wants to make shark movies. After some fighting, smoking weed, and talking about their movie script with no ending they wrote as kids called, “Sharks Outta Water” a floating shark shows up! It first eats the neighbor but eventually it begins chasing the brothers. It seems a man with a magical clapper board as brought their childhood movie script to life and now they must deal with it in many hilarious ways. Don’t just rent, buy this fucking movie NOW! One of the most entertaining independent shark films ever made as I give this sure to be on the “Best of 2020 list” 4 out of 4 stars.

 

3) Peninsula (On Demand) – So we got a sequel to the wonderful zombie film ‘Train to Busan’, the film picks up four years later. Any bordering country has a blockade up and does not allow anyone to enter South Korea because of the viral outbreak. A former soldier like a lot of misplaced Koreans lives in Hong Kong and down on his luck. A shady dude he does things for gives the ex-soldier a mission of entering the zombie-infested peninsula for a truck that has 25 million U.S. dollars in the back of it safely waiting. If he retrieves it he is rich, if not he is most likely zombie food as the zombies still roam the area. Without spoiling too much I will describe the film has elements that cross between ‘Land of the Dead’ and ‘Escape from New York’ but keeps the heart of the first film. Wonderful zombie stuff again horror fans as this fast-paced sequel pleases me much so that there could be another entry into this series like ‘REC’?! I give the bad ass international zombie movie 4 stars all the way.

 

4) We Summon the Darkness (DVD) – Holy balls this film was fucking great! The film is set in Indiana, 1988 following three young ladies who are heading to a heavy metal concert. Along the way we keep hearing on the radio about some satanic murders sweeping the mid-west. The three metal goddesses reach the concert and meet three metalhead dudes and they all seem to get along. After the concert the boys are invited back to Alexis’ house or her father’s house to be precise. They start drinking and play a little game that gets a little risky. But things get a little weird as the boys pass out and awake inside a room full of bloody pentagrams and that is where the fun begins. The cast, story, effects, and the ending are a wonderful blast. I would like to tell you more about the film but I rather not ruin it for your viewing pleasures? Put it this way this film is another entry into my “Best of 2020 list” as I give it 4 stars.

 

5) Tromasterpiece Theatre Presents – Poutrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (DVD) – Addison Binek as the bored movie theater employee is back again with his two sidekicks to riff on the popular Troma musical “Poutrygeist”. A film that tackles the fast food industry that only Troma can only do where a chicken shack is built on top of an Indian graveyard and the spirits are upset and haunt the business. Leave it to Addison to riff on an already funny ass flick and make it that much better! Addison Binek is absolutely brilliant in his effort to riff on this popular Troma film. This latest project from the talented Mr. Binek makes me believe more than ever that he would make an excellent heir to the Troma Empire. Laugh, cry, and watch again the latest from the amazing Addison Binek as shame on you for not supporting this effort as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

 

6) Spirit Animal (DVD) – Madeline Deering has made a love letter to The Polonia Brothers, Jon McBride, Todd Sheets, and I am sure a few others that could be mentioned from that bygone era of S.O.V. I easily could have seen myself finding this “we all thought lost 1993 S.O.V. film” in Incredibly Strange Video here in Pittsburgh, Pa.! About 1998, I was finding a lot of these S.O.V. movies from the late 80s and early 90s as independent filmmakers were already using digital video and abandoned the VHS camera. Oh what a time then but that is what makes this such an awesome and unique project as Maddie, Joe, and talented cast got a VHS camera and went into overdrive to get this dream project done. Our story begins at Camp Wannawilla many years ago where a camp counselor is speaking with kids around a campfire about “Spirit Animals”. One child takes exception to this as Aarav believes he can be all of them not just one. Of course the camp counselor meets a horrible death and the camp is closed down. Many years pass and we follow a group of friends to West Virginia on New Year’s Eve to the same Camp Wannawilla. They set up camp, tell the story, and a killer with many animal masks begins slaughtering not just the group but all who enter the woods this New Year’s Eve as a special moon is coming. The music is excellent, ending is fucking great, good editing, good cast, and Maddie puts this all together on a VHS camera, the true old school none of that gimmick shit you get with your fancy laptops and cameras these days! Independent fans rejoice and enjoy because this gets 4 out of 4 stars and will most likely show up on my “Best of 2020 list”.

 

7) The Unsung (YouTube) – The latest project from Churchill Pictures is a bit of a thriller with a bit of drama and intrigue added to the mix. We are introduced to Eric through his travels of the depressed areas of Pittsburgh and his childhood flashbacks that haunt him. One day catching a nap, the nap is interrupted by a man trying to hurt a young lady. Eric jumps into action and saves her. But being homeless also she takes off with Eric’s bag and he chases her down to a homeless community under a bridge. He is accepted into the community quickly. Meanwhile we are introduced to a very driven detective by the name of Jones who understands he now is trying to track down a serial killer and how all the victims are tied into each other in some way. Eric hearing a voice from a radio decides he must take action like his comic book hero that he keeps near to his heart. Eric and the detective cross paths and Eric is of course a ‘person of interest’ in the case but no matter what both men want to save the young lady after she is taken by this killer. I tried not to give too much away with the description just because I really like the story and it isn’t your usual crime drama/thriller. The film has a lot of heart that deserves to be watched and enjoyed. It stars Jared Bajoras, Richard Billock, and Amadeo Fusca which all three were perfect in their roles for this project. Help support this project folks as I give it 4 out 4 stars all the way!

 

8) Patchwork (Shudder) – Three women wake up to being stitched together on an exam table with a couple guys talking like this is an everyday thing after being kidnapped at a bar. The three stuck together in the same body must now work together to remember who did this and why? With a couple surprises and a twist along the way the three want their revenge and begin their search for answers with the bar they all remember. They also find love along the way. Think ‘Frankenhooker’ with ‘Re-animator’s’ dark humor and a splash of Peter Jackson and you have a beautiful masterpiece of a dark horror comedy that not enough good words could describe. I would love to say more about the plot but it may ruin some of the surprises throughout the film as I give this gift to the horror genre 4 stars.

 

9) Love and Monsters (On Demand) – This fun monster gem is a must see for all audiences as it takes place seven years after the “Monsterapocalypse”. There was an asteroid falling towards Earth. Of course all the governments hurl up all these missiles into space to destroy this rock before impact… it works. Problem is the fallout hitting earth causes all the animals and insects to mutate into large monsters that begin wiping out humanity and force people into underground bunkers. Seven years later Joel is a single bored early twenties dude who cannot help fight the monsters but can make a great minestrone but wants out of the isolation he feels. So he heads out on a mission to find his high school sweetheart Aimee at a bunker on the coast. Along the way he makes friends with Michael Rooker and an eight year old girl who have been living on the surface with the mutated things and teaches Joel some valuable lessons. Joel does find Aimee and there is more to the story but why spoil this amazing creature filled film that you need in your life! This film is sure to be a favorite of most in 2020 as I give 4 stars.

 

10) Becky (On Demand) – We have two parallel stories going on in this deliciously brutal film that centers on a young girl named Becky. First, Becky and her father are in disagreement as usual since her mother’s death. Now, it is being forced upon her that dad has found a new woman and wants to be a family. Second, we are introduced to a couple of inmates who are super Neo-Nazis that have escaped transport heading to this isolated home in the woods looking for a hidden key. After another argument Becky runs off into the woods shortly after the inmates come a knocking for some bad ass mean shit to go down. The Neo-Nazis find out that Becky has the key so they try to make a deal but Becky refuses after watching her father being killed. From there we go into a downward spiral into some brutal scenes of revenge as Becky fights back. We get a sick eye gouge that requires the eye being snipped off, a new way to use school pencils, and a little girl (Becky) getting heart punched! The film is just plain screwed up and I loved it as don’t be surprised this sneaks its way into my “2020 top ten” as I give it 4 stars.

 

Honorable mentions of 2020

 

Snatchers (On Demand) – A teenager named Sara who is trying to be popular with her friends has sex with the hot guy Skylar she was seeing a while back. Sara awakes the next day to her surprise to find herself nine months pregnant! Backstory is its 2012 and her boyfriend went to Mexico and messed with some kind of Mexican statue of a god with a big penis. Sara asks her ex-bestie Haley for help. They head to the free clinic only to destroy the doctor’s head with Sara’s “VAGE CANNON” (her words not mine) and the bad idea becomes worse as it is a weird creature that acts like a parasite to humans. It only gets worse from there for Sara as her and Haley find out there is a second monster inside her. After the police department is destroyed by the monster chasing down Sara and Haley, the two friends find Skylar’s computer and learn of his debacle in Mexico as the two come with a plan to destroy the parasites… hopefully. Great casting of the two best friends, cool creatures, hilarious story as this film could show up on my “Best of 2020 list” as I give 4 stars.

 

Killer Raccoons! 2! Dark Christmas (On Demand) – Holy Rutger Hauer, filmmaker Travis Irvine has earned my respect for not only making a killer raccoon movie. But he did it while doing a parody of ‘Under Siege 2: Dark Territory’! We normal lunatics smell our own… But really prisoner Ty Smallwood now named Casey has just got released from jail after serving ten years for underage drinking. He is jumping on a train to Washington D.C. to hang with his dead girlfriend’s sister to explain what happened on the camping trip several years ago? As Darlene wants answers Ranger Rick Danger takes over the train with his raccoon assassins so they can steal data to hold the U.S. hostage while they sell secrets to foreign powers just like the Steven Seagal less liked sequel. Travis and crew not only deliver the goods but I couldn’t stop laughing as film continued on with the Killer Raccoons being the focus throughout unless it was Casey Smallwood. The effort, the passion, and raccoons trained by the C.I.A. with mini machine guns made this the holiday comedy to watch in 2020 as I give it 4 stars.

 

Llamageddon (DVD) – This wonderful creation is about an alien llama that crash lands on Earth in a small community and begin its takeover! When the llama isn’t stomping a victim with its hooves it is killing people with its laser eyes. Yes, you heard me correctly people when its shoots lasers from its red eyes fireworks go off. The alien llama stumbles upon a house party of young people where it begins killing them one by one but also spits on one party goer to have him begin a transformation. This independent film has it all folks and I absolutely laughed my ass off as the alien llama tries to destroy us all! If that isn’t enough pay attention to their drinking game as the character Dan changes shirts in every scene (17 times if I counted correctly?) I cannot thank filmmaker Howie Dewin enough for giving us this amazing gem of cinema as I give it 4 stars all the way!

 

Psycho Ape! (DVD) – Oh for the love of Rutger Hauer 2020 has sucked a huge bag of dicks! But folks I believe we have been given the film we need to make it through this slow ass death they call a pandemic. It is a low budget film from the great minds of Addison Binek, Steve Albers, and Greg DeLiso whose passion for independent projects is off the scale! If you have heard me speak the name of Addison Binek then you know I feel this is one talented dude. For example: when I take over SyFy Channel or Full Moon he would my “second-in-charge” or if there was someone that I would trust with Lloyd’s legacy it would be Mr. Binek. Some will feel this film is senseless but some like me will enjoy this hilarious Troma throwback laughing their balls off several times throughout the feature. Let me tell you a little about this ‘Psycho Ape’ film. Supposedly 25 years ago this dude in a cheap ape costume (cough, cough) I mean murderous ape escapes The Detroit Zoo and comes upon an unsuspecting teenage slumber party. The killer ape goes bananas on the young ladies leaving only one survivor Nancy Banana. I personally was hoping it would be Hannah Banana for some reason because some kind of weird PornHub dream I had last night after watching the film but that is for a different conversation. Nancy Banana is thrown off course from her life dream of being the next Jane Goodall because this gorilla’s murder spree of her friends but 25 years later she gets to be friends with this crazed hairy killer. But if Dr. ZOOmis has anything to say about he will he won’t let another 25 years of tracking down this deadly ape and several deaths later from breaking up the relationship between Nancy and Psycho Ape. The movie is hilarious, complete chaos, and like a lost film never released from Troma in the mid-80s and for that I am happy to report this treat of a film deserves 3 ½ out of 4 stars. And take my word on this I can see this following the same path as the ‘Leprechaun’ series or maybe not?

 

Zombie House Party Massacre (YouTube) – Finally a no budget film that lives up to its name as zombies are just trying to live civil lives in their home. But damn young humans come to rush the house to party and have unprotected sex! The zombies stay quiet in the upstairs room until one of the party goers hear the baby and take it. The zombies just wanting their zombie baby back chase the humans throughout the home and call for help from their zombie friends. What makes it hilarious as they chase the humans around the home they make fun of themselves that they must act a certain way in order to stay scary. Otherwise they are no different than any of us until they finally had enough and start eating the humans to get the zombie baby back! The short film is absolutely wonderful and I could not stop laughing at the zombie jokes as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

In Search Of: Pittsburgh Bigfoot (Vimeo) – When you have no money, know a bunch of people who want to be actors, and your passionate about your project you get what filmmaker Luther Cosmo Ickes Jr. gets… a hilarious and entertaining independent movie about Bigfoot. Or is it Bigfoots? Don’t know that is always a conversation that gets started whenever I review a Bigfoot movie and plus this project has multiple Bigfoot/Bigfoots! Anyway three yinzers are interested in the latest Pennsylvania sightings of Bigfoot. They wait out for spring since the winters can be gawd damn cold around here n’at. So the three chums head to the woods for some camping, illegal or legal drug use depending how much now that Pa. has turned the corner on that stuff, and looking for evidence of Bigfoot. Oh these three are not the only yinzers looking for Bigfoot apparently the Devil is also according to the witch of the woods and a goat dude with a giant dong! Of course this spells hijinks for the yinzers in the woods as they get lost, screwed up on shrooms, and find themselves in a war between the Devil and the Bigfoots as Bigfoots hitch a ride to the burgh. Lou tries to bond and save these creatures but in the end we all know what happens when the church tries to get involved. The film has many flaws but that is the beauty of Luther’s film: it is a film you grab friends, a case of beer and enjoy its glory because it isn’t going to win an Oscar for the love of Rutger Hauer it’s a gawd damn Yinzer Bigfoot movie as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

The Best Documentaries

 

1) Smoke and Mirrors: The Story of Tom Savini (Shudder) – Being a huge Savini fan since I was a kid this was huge. I remembered the really cool “Scream Greats” doc from Fango in the 80s so see his life story in full talked about it was a wonderful treat. With this documentary you get everything from his inspiration to the untimely death of his brother to why he did not go to L.A. with famous names we know. For me it also connected some stories I have always heard from filmmaker friends and artists and have read about in the past. Like him or dislike him I have always respected him because he was doing something that was completely amazing and without him I do not believe we have some of the cool talented make-up and effects people now. Horror fans if you didn’t like Savini before you will after this as you get finally get the full understanding and first complete look behind the curtain of Savini’s life. This gets 4 stars all the way as Savini will always be someone I have looked up too then and now.

 

2) Suck Fest (DVD) – BPO Films is at it again with their latest project which is a documentary or mockumentary (depending how you look at it) about the three talented fellows(Ben, Blake, and Ryan) taking a trip to a horror convention to promote their film “Slaughter Drive”. The film isn’t so much about the convention as much as it is about the three friends’ relationship as it breaks down quickly once they hit the road to the hotel and they lose luggage, stolen credit cards, stuff goes missing, too much coffee, not selling shit at the horror convention, and one of the three thinking they were going to kick each other in the balls to settle a dispute! The film isn’t just funny but a laugh a minute as these fellows show off even more of their comedic side in their documentary (sort of?) as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. THIS WILL BE AVAILABLE AT GROSSFEST 2020 first time ever. Go check out www.bpofilms.com and get to know this great group of independent filmmakers.

 

3) Direct To Video: Straight to Video Horror of the 90s (DVD) – An excellent documentary from filmmaker Dustin Ferguson who brings together an abundance of critics, actors, and filmmakers to discuss not just their films but how this whole genre got started in the 90s. They discuss their favorites and how Hollywood and media was changing at the times and yes Charles Band gets a lot of credit as I give this really cool documentary 4 stars.

 

Worst movie I watched of 2020

 

Necropolis: Legion (On Demand) – Being a Full Moon fan I was very surprised they were reviving or reimaging this lesser known Empire Pictures film from the 80s. With Chris Alexander involved I had some high hopes going in… The movie begins with huge naked boobied women celebrating Satan. Hundreds of years into the future a female author who writes about the ‘dark unknown’ stays at an old farmhouse for her next project. Accidentally cutting her foot and bleeding into the wooden floor she conjures the witch that killed the original farmhouse owner. Now Eva the evil witch haunts the young author. Sorry Chris as much as I respect you this project was bad. It was uneventful and really doesn’t hold a torch to the original which wasn’t something of an accomplished film. If this was a short film… 15 minutes, okay I can see but 60 minutes of agony of an author who wants to be Goth but really isn’t. Nope, next time pass on the project my friend. I do not think the actress was bad as I believe there was nothing to work with as I give this new Full Moon project 0 stars and that is being kind. Sorry Chris I still respect you but this was a bad decision.

 

(Only mentioning this one for Joe Bob Briggs fans to be warned far in advanced)

 

Hogzilla (Shudder) – Joe Bob or no Joe Bob this film was terrible and Joe Bob Briggs was correct to rip it during one of his recent shows that had Darcy show it. A news crew heads into the Florida woods (yep, you heard me) to do a story on a rampaging giant mutant hog. Save your time, your effort, and being angry you made yourself watch this and go watch ‘Razorback’ again? Or check out the recent ‘Boar’ with Nathan Jones as this flick was just complete hot garbage and should have stayed lost as I give the 2008 film 0 stars.

 

Most disappointing film of the year!

 

Hanukkah (DVD) – It opens up with a man on December 8, 1993 who has slaughtered people during the “Festival of Lights” or Hanukkah but never got to finish. 36 years go by and someone has decided to pick up the killing spree during the Jewish holiday. Some Jewish friends who are not exactly celebrating the Jewish holiday become the targets of this sadistic killer. ‘Hanukkah’ has a wonderful cast to kill for but this holiday horror film is such a misstep as it drags on too long and I was expecting more from the crew behind it. Also there are weird delays during dialogue and a few important scenes that don’t exactly make a lick of sense? Super disappointed with the film and another example of you can have an all-star cast but that doesn’t mean you’ll have an all-star movie as I give it a ½ star.

Gross Movie Reviews #515

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Gross Movie Reviews #515

Psycho Ape! (DVD) – Oh for the love of Rutger Hauer 2020 has sucked a huge bag of dicks! But folks I believe we have been given the film we need to make it through this slow ass death they call a pandemic. It is a low budget film from the great minds of Addison Binek, Steve Albers, and Greg DeLiso whose passion for independent projects is off the scale! If you have heard me speak the name of Addison Binek then you know I feel this is one talented dude. For example: when I take over SyFy Channel or Full Moon he would my “second-in-charge” or if there was someone that I would trust with Lloyd’s legacy it would be Mr. Binek. Some will feel this film is senseless but some like me will enjoy this hilarious Troma throwback laughing their balls off several times throughout the feature. Let me tell you a little about this ‘Psycho Ape’ film. Supposedly 25 years ago this dude in a cheap ape costume (cough, cough) I mean murderous ape escapes The Detroit Zoo and comes upon an unsuspecting teenage slumber party. The killer ape goes bananas on the young ladies leaving only one survivor Nancy Banana. I personally was hoping it would be Hannah Banana for some reason because some kind of weird PornHub dream I had last night after watching the film but that is for a different conversation. Nancy Banana is thrown off course from her life dream of being the next Jane Goodall because this gorilla’s murder spree of her friends but 25 years later she gets to be friends with this crazed hairy killer. But if Dr. ZOOmis has anything to say about he will he won’t let another 25 years of tracking down this deadly ape and several deaths later from breaking up the relationship between Nancy and Psycho Ape. The movie is hilarious, complete chaos, and like a lost film never released from Troma in the mid-80s and for that I am happy to report this treat of a film deserves 3 ½ out of 4 stars. And take my word on this I can see this following the same path as the ‘Leprechaun’ series or maybe not?

 

Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (DVD) – Many people also know it as ‘The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue’ but that doesn’t stop it from being a popular zombie flick among horror fans. George an antiques dealer heads out to the country to get away from people and industry for the weekend but that is thrown into chaos when a ditzy woman named Christina backs over his bike. Together the two head out to Christina’s sisters’ place. Things go bad when Christina cannot stop talking about the beast that came from her. The two arrive to find the sister in hysterics and the husband dead and cop only believes “the damn hippie”, George is capable of doing the dirty deed. Now the two must stick around for the investigation but after some of their own research George believes it is the ultra-sonic radioactive device being used experimentally to kill insects on a farm is the cause. Got some gore, got some unstoppable zombies, and we got a cop that always believes the hippie did it so I am in as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Youngblood (DVD) – A late 70s film that feels like a Blaxploitation at the beginning turns into a serious gang film halfway with a twist that will have everyone feeling bad when it’s over. A look into a 15 year old black teenager named Junior but nicknamed Youngblood who feels in order to fit he needs to join a gang. Mom doesn’t approve and Youngblood cannot live up to older brother’s success of becoming a respectable banker. But things take a dark twist when Youngblood’s gang fined one of their own dying from drugs in a bowling alley bathroom. Now Youngblood and the gang want revenge and it takes Youngblood down a path of sadness he wasn’t expecting as everything is as good as it seems. Give the flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Blood Delirium (DVD) – So maybe it has been a few minutes since you were disgusted by a movie, a relative, or something on the news like politics? Well I give you this lesser known creepy Eye-talian film where an artist’s old butler starts bumping uglies with his dead wife and doesn’t fire him let alone stab him in the freaking testicles. Nope we get this sleazy ass artist and his disgusting butler to dig up his dead wife a year later for inspiration. When that doesn’t work the way the artist wants he goes meet a doppelganger of his wife that only makes the movie weirder if that was even possible? I give this off the charts sleaze 2 ½ stars just for making me wondering what the hell was gonna happen next…

The Night of the Hunter (DVD) – Robert Mitchum proves in 1955 you can play one evil son of a bitch that comes off crazy but yet so brilliant and unmatched. Mitchum is Harry Powell, supposedly a preacher who is doing 30 days in jail with a man named Ben who just got life for robbery and shooting a couple innocent folks. Ben hid the $10,000 with his two young kids. Harry tries to get it out of him before his execution but fails. Backup plan Powell heads to Ben’s home once released and sleaze his ass in the door with the struggling single mom of two to learn of the whereabouts of the money. When the kids are not cooperating Powell gets mean and sadistic and his mean streak has no end. Powell chases the children down river into another home only be blocked by a stubborn older woman who takes orphans in. For 1955 it might not sound like much but I dare you to watch Robert Mitchum put on a performance of an evil human scumbag and not be impressed as I give the film 3 ½ stars.

 

The Night of the Hunter (DVD/remake) – In 1991 TV decided the movie needed updated not understanding two things: first, this story just doesn’t work in present day (1991) as the original was set during the depression. Second, Richard Chamberlain is a great choice for a movie like this but the role was already done perfectly by Robert Mitchum which made me get real bored when viewing this remake. I gave it a legit try but sorry if you see the original first there really isn’t anyway to improve as I give this remake 1 star.

 

Artic Predator (DVD) – Apparently I missed a SyFy Channel feature about a decade ago that stars Dean Cain in a bootleg of a bootleg of a bootleg version of John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’. Dean Cain must defend himself and others against an alien made of gas from one of Jupiter’s rings that his team unearthed exploring for lost ships in the Artic. Dumb…? Maybe, but you know I wasn’t passing it up with a title like that as I give it 1 star.

 

Night Monster (DVD) – An early 40s Universal film about a handicapped man who has invited doctors to his creepy ass mansion that oh yeah has Bela Lugosi as the butler! Little the doctors know is that the man blames them for his condition and has planned for their arrival as death is happening inside the mansion and outside and nowhere to escape. Cheesy and a little dull at times but explanation at the end of the film makes it a well worth watch as I give it 2 stars.

 

Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made (DVD) – A mockumentary of sorts as its set up is producers, convention promoters, etc. being interviewed about this lost film from 1979 that is rumored to kill anyone that has viewed it. The film was sent to several festivals but after all the unfortunate events ‘Antrum’ becomes banned, lost, cursed, but disappeared until now. After this introduction we get the film about a kid who cannot deal with the death of his dog and his mom told him the pet went to hell. So to help get over it his older sister takes the kid to the middle of the forest to dig a hole to hell. Well guess what shit goes wrong and gets weird! Because once you begin your journey into the five layers of hell there is no coming back. I enjoyed the concept and know I will catch flack for this but felt disappointed in the end. The film is far from terrible but for me at least I just don’t think it was executed well as I give it 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !

Bloodbaths and Boomsticks has another two episodes up so take a listen!

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This week we put on our swatch watches, get out our Rubik’s cube, and pop some quarters in that old Pac man machine as we pick out some of our favorite flicks from 1980 and 1981.  Was also chat about that time Mothra shit all over Kyle’s laundry, Godzilla movies, homemade board games, shitty shark films, and the death of Joel Schumacher?  We also do a rundown of all the news this week brought us, and what we have been watching.  So download this episode or Batman’s nipples will be sad.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

This week we bring back 3 more flicks to argue over.  First Tim continues to scrape the bottom of the post-apocalyptic barrel with his pick A MAN CALLED RAGE.  Then John talks up the 4th installment in Troma’s flagship series in THE TOXIC AVENGER 4: CITIZEN TOXIE.  And lastly Kyle pays tribute to the late great Joel Schumacher and covers a Nazi zombie siege flick BLOOD CREEK.  We also chat about a ton of topics such as Tim’s current issues with Full Moon Entertainment as he watches Blade: The Iron Cross, Fireworks accidents, Kyle’s failed attempt to wrangle a ground hog, and Blazing Saddles the lost TV show.  And as always we read your listener questions, read the news, and go over what the hell we have been watching.  So download this episode or Charles Band will banish you to his magic warehouse.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/