Gross Movie Reviews #555

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Gross Movie Reviews #555

The Virus (YouTube) – Philip Brocklehurst busy as ever has released his latest short film that deals with the post-apocalyptic theme or recent times and its effect on a person. Earth has been devastated by biological weapons and a man who is all alone just wants to end the madness on his own terms. A bleak but very realistic look at the world right now as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars.

Tower Rats (YouTube/DVD) – To even give this mess of a Kevin Walter film a chance you have to imagine if Troma ran Tik Tok and made an anthology film using the things Troma fans posted. What seems like a miss-mash of no plot is a long string of weirdo short films pretty much only hardcore Troma fans will enjoy. It all seems to be set in the Tower District if that means anything to yinz and about ¾’s of the way into the film is that the ‘Puppet Master’ I am hearing? Kudos to Kevin for getting this all together for hardcore Troma fans but outside of them it’s gonna be hard to explain something like this to more mainstream film fans as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. 

Open House (Vimeo) – Matt Cannon from ‘Hexercise’ fame has another short film that has made its way on a recent Indy anthology that concerns a young lady named Sue. She is being trained to sell homes. When Sue is hazed by co-workers with a mask and robe in the home she is cleaning up, Sue is startled and her past comes back to haunt her co-workers. Matt’s latest effort is simple and to the point as Mr. Cannon continues his filmmaking career along with his successful composing music for film career. I give the short film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. 

The Pizzagate Massacre (DVD) – Our story begins in 2018 at a TV station where the Terri Lee show is set up and Karen Black (filmmaker/journalist) has started her new job. After dropping her headset during a live feed hearing startling news about the Illuminati conspiracy, Tootz Pizza, and children who are being used as sex slaves in the basement of this Austin, Texas pizza shop. Karen is fired but distraught by this news so of course she hires a white militia dude named Duncan to help her get proof of the lizard people touching little kids at a pizza shop! Duncan and Karen drive from Waco to Austin only to find out it’s not true but it also all goes bad in a shootout because a member of the same militia follows them and kidnaps Karen setting off a wild police chase and ending to this crazy but all but true ending as I give this interesting gem 3 stars.

Hellblock 13 (DVD) – Gunnar Hansen, Debbie Rochon, 1999, sounds like wonderful ingredients to an awesome anthology… Mostly the film comes off generic with the best performances from the two already mentioned stars that have story time before an execution. The stories are not horrible but fail to make a viewer wanna rewatch the stories being told again and again like a ‘Creepshow’ or ‘Tales from the Darkside’ as I give this anthology 2 stars.

Maniac Killer (DVD) – Bo Svenson, Chuck Connors, and Robert Ginty star in this French thriller about an escort disappearing one evening that becomes a small string of disappearances. A Professor Osborne is being wrongly accused of murder and kidnapping because of the man keeping to himself for his experiments. People who live nearby claim he is doing human experiments but the truth is Robert Ginty is to blame as he plays “creepy guy with dungeon” who believes he and his followers are purifying the evil from the French hookers. Weirdness, a couple solid actors, this is worth at least a watch as I give it 2 stars.

Honkey Holocaust (DVD) – In case you been missing out on filling your exploitation film needs this recent Indy feature does its best to intrigue you then? It is set in late 60s California where in an alternate universe The Manson Family (big strike against any filmmaker attempting to add to this turd of legacy) gets away with murder and builds a bunker. The family heads underground where Charles dies in 1979 from poor conditions but some of his clan survives including a daughter of Charles. But here is already a problem kids? If Charles died after a decade of poor conditions how didn’t the rest of the clan die? But hey, don’t let a bad plot get in the way of telling your story. After a few decades the clan comes out of the bunker to witness the “Race War”? Problem, white people are now the minority and it’s all about a prophecy being fulfilled. Kendra Manson wanders away from her clan to learn about the new world and meets a black man named Lucius who she falls in love with. Kudos for putting together an exploitation that most likely will find a cult audience but you lost me at “Manson Family” as I give this 1 ½ stars.

The Horror of it All (DVD/YouTube) – This 1964 British oddity stars Pat Boone of all people who is Jack Robinson and on his way to see his soon to be wife Cynthia. Cynthia is hanging out at the family estate because she has plans of her own before getting married but Jack cannot wait. This film is comedy of horrors that feels like an early film version of “Clue” as the family is being murdered one by one and Jack believes they all are trying to murder him before his marriage. A hilarious horror/comedy where not only Pat Boone breaks into song you can see tropes set up for future horror/comedies as I give this well worthy gem 3 stars.

The Neptune Factor (DVD) – An early 70s underwater adventure about a sea exploration crew having trouble when an earthquake on the ocean floor happens. The earthquake topples the sea lab off the edge of the ocean floor into an abyss. After a few days search by the Canadian Navy it is time for “the Neptune”. A well-equipped vessel that could conquer the deep sea for its daring rescue. The first half of the film is all about set up then the second half turns into a NatGeo special of underwater adventure with the rescue happening in the last four minutes of the film. If you like Ernest Borgnine and PG-rated undersea drama you may be in for a treat as I give it 2 ½ stars.           

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Tales From the Gross Side project is looking for your help!

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Drunken Yinzers Presents: Tales From The Gross Side. The third film from Drunken Yinzers Productions. An anthology, based on the stories of Tim Gross.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/drunken-yinzers-presents-tales-from-the-gross-side/x/3372429#/

Support the next project…

Well folks this is it! Our big ass announcement! Beginning in August, Drunken Yinzers Productions will begin principal photography on a new film. It’s an anthology horror film based on the insane stories of our co-founder Tim Gross! This will be the most ambitious production we’ve done so far and that’s why we need some help from our fans, friends, and all yinz jagoffs. This film will have some cool F/X from our friend Angel Thunder Scorpion O’Connor and we need your hard earned cash to get her the stuff she needs to make it work. So please donate whatever you can. There’s a lot of cool perks for helping us out too. Seriously weird shit! Also we’re asking everyone to share the hell out of this thing over the next few months. Get it as far out into facebook land as you can. Or any social media platform. We love you guys and can’t wait to bring you this new film. It’s gonna be a blast! Thanks again for donating and sharing. We owe yinz a perogi dinner!

If you liked Jagoff Massacre? Guess what we are working on now…

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Well everyone, I promised big news coming soon from the Jagoffs at Drunken Yinzers productions, and here it is! While we would love to tell you that a sequel to Jagoff Massacre is coming, we simply can’t do it without Brandon. As soon as he is available we will get our asses on that (the script is already written so…). In the meantime we felt it was time to move onto a new project. And goddamn is it a great one!
A few years back, during the first round of problems with jagoff 2, I had the brilliant idea to write a comedic remake of the classic terrible drug scare film, Blood Freak. After the dissolution of JOM2 and the near death of our production company, we finally decided to take this script and give it a shot. We’re now 2 shoots in and it’s honestly some of the most hilarious shit we’ve ever done.

So next year we will bring you a new film from the Drunken Yinzers! We’ll be setting up a new Facebook page soon and hope you’ll all join us in this new endeavor. And yes, while this is a new film, it does take place in the Jagoff-verse so look out for easter eggs galore. And of course Chuck Connors will be back as well as a slew of JOM favorites. I can’t possibly express how much i truly appreciate all of you Jags that have stood by and waited patiently for us to get our shit together. We love you all more than a case a cold Irons and a primanti’s sammich!

…and if you wanna check out the movie we’re paying tribute to, you can watch it in it’s entirety here….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=np3bqodkka0

 

Post written by “Out of Print” Daniel Boyd last month

We are lazy but we have two more episodes up!

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This week we have 3 more movies to talk about.  First we have the legendary Chuck Connors in SUMMER CAMP NIGHTMARE.  Then Kyle talks about an old school werewolf flick that may or may not have to be seen through rose collared glasses in STEPHEN KING’S SILVER BULLET.  Then Tim covers mangos, mangos, mangos in STREET TEAM MASSACRE.  Also we rattle on about Kyle’s dog’s penchant to twerk.  The Academy Awards and the horror winners.  And finally the death of the big summer movie,  and Kyle’s nightmare camping weekend when he was tricked into going to a religious camp.  

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This Week we return to the fold to talk about 3 movies that we pulled out of the ether,  First we cover the newest Netflix jammy jam ANNIHILATION.  Then we unearth a truly bizarre treasure of the mom and pop video store days in MIDNIGHT MOVIE MASSACRE.  And finally Kyle looks back to his childhood to talk about THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN.  Also we introduce “crap chat”.  Continue “football chat”.  And more “CHUD chat”.  And we also have random talk’s about why MITCHELL! Isn’t worth watching without MST3K.  

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Hey yinz Jagoffs!

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Saturday, November 12 at 12 PM – 2 PM

Rickert & Beagle Books

3233 W Liberty Ave, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15216

www.rickertandbeaglebooks.com

 

Details:

Hey yinz Jagoffs! We’ll be down at Rickert & Beagle books for an interview shoot for Jagoff Massacre 2. After the main shoot we’ll be interviewing fans for the movie. So come on down and hang with the cast and crew of Jagoff massacre! We’ll have copies of the original movie and t-shirts available as well as Tim Gross’s latest book! And don’t forget to support the store while you fawn over the celebs! See yinz dahn ere!

jagoff-massacre-2

KETTLE WHISTLE RADIO # 99 JAGOFF MASSACRE.

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The boys from JAGOFF MASSACRE ( the slasher with local flavor) Daniel Boyd, Chuck Connors, Tim Gross and Bryce Katzman stop by and talk up their horror/comedy and the upcoming sequel. See what happens when you mix 5 horrible horror dudes and 30 pack of PBR! With music from Mark Alexander‘s 3 QUARTERS DEAD and the young thrashers, CONDITION CRITICAL!

http://www.hipcast.com/podcast/HPxyqzTk

Whistle

 

Have you purchased your copies of “Jagoff Massacre” to give out to the family? If not, you understand the old you would have already!

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Buy it at http://www.jagoffmassacre.com

jagoff

On a cold winter night in the Greenfield neighborhood of Pittsburgh, PA, two local drunks by the name of Chosky and Stutch run afoul of a group of inept satanists. As a chase ensues through Pittsburgh, blood will be shed! It’s time to Red up Pittsburgh!
Jagoff Massacre
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl-poWn4E2E