Gross Movie Reviews #468

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Gross Movie Reviews #468

Camp Hideaway Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – Of course a ‘massacre’ film you should not take too serious and you might actually enjoy it for what it is? A cheap gory flick with a naked Tina Krause! Anyway, a campsite and the small town woods are full of urban myths among the locals who talk about crazy satanic shit going down and people disappearing. The locals try to warn the out-of-towners but no one listens. Tina Krause comes into town looking for missing friends and cannot find any clues while three men conspire to kill people and sell their shit for money! There is some gore and again there is Tina Krause so enjoy as I give it 2 stars.

Halloween Mind Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – We are introduced to a man named Carl. Carl is in a bad need of meds. Without his meds lots of weirdness happens as example an alien or demon has made its way into Carl’s chest to start talking to Carl and control him. Carl talks to it like it is his inner voice. And his inner voice is explaining to Carl he needs no meds and needs to kill! Not only kill but dismember people including his doctor who may or may not be trying to help? The film has its dull moments but also has its hilarious moments of gore and makes you crave Scruffy’s Discount Liquor and Pizza (you need to see the flick just for this commercial) for that I give the film 2 stars.

 

Massacre in Dinosaur Valley (DVD) – An old Eye-talian flick from 1985 where a group of people survive a plane crash into a legendary part of the Amazon called ‘Dinosaur Valley’. The land is forbidden to outsiders so no one will be looking for the group. Now on their own the group must venture through a jungle filled with gators, cannibalistic tribes, Piranha, leeches, quicksand, and of course slave traders. Not near the level of craziness of “Cannibal Holocaust” but is one those fun jungle genre movies that is known by many names and very possible you may have seen it and not know it. I give this fun jungle flick 2 ½ stars.

 

Movie House Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – This film was made by the same dude who gave us “Hobgoblins”! If this title isn’t striking your memory the other title it was released under “Blood Theatre” may as it also starred Mary Woronov. Spotlite Theaters owns several theaters and they have just acquired an old single screen theater that has been reopened several times without any luck. The biggest problem the old theater has going against it is the theater is haunted. So the manager of Spotlite Theater gives three young employees a chance to make some extra cash if they can get it cleaned up and profitable on opening night? As the three work hard to get it open people begin to die again one by one, mostly off screen. The lesser known film was made for nearly nothing and does not pretend to be a big glamorous horror flick. Thus it works in its favor and we get a good amount of screen time from the legendary Mary Woronov just having fun with her role as I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Night Patrol (DVD) – Oh nutsack, it is a lesser known comedy from Jackie Kong that stars Linda Blair and filled hilariously bad jokes. Officer Melvin White has just got promoted to night patrol. Only issue Melvin has with this promotion is he also works his craft, “stand-up” as The Unknown Comic” at night which of course will interfere with the police work. Melvin also has another issue since he is The Unknown Comic he has a bag on his head which hides his identity. Problem is someone is robbing places all over the city with a bag on their head looking like The Unknown Comic. I laughed many times through this flick at the bad jokes, enjoyed the cameo appearances made by Andrew Dice Clay and Pat Morita, and Linda Blair playing it completely straight makes this comedy well worth watching multiple times as I give it 3 stars. By some chance that isn’t enough for you to watch there is an amazing “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly” bit near the end of the film!

 

Messiah of Evil (DVD) – A young woman heads to a small town on the coast of California because she has lost contact with her father. Worried she wants to find him quickly and begins her search at his home reading his journals. As she investigates the town she quickly understands this town is a little weird and hooks up with a swinging young couple who just like the town. But things get creepy quickly as all three learn the town is full of the undead. A prophecy about a man who came from the sea a hundred years ago predicted as they will take over world. I don’t know if this truly a zombie flick or not but it is bizarre enough I will be revisiting this flick at some point again as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Killings at Outpost Zeta (YouTube) – A no budget sci-fi creature feature flick set some time in the future where humans are trying to set up different planets for space stations, rest stops for ships, research into other galaxies. The planet is rather new compared to other planets as there is no life yet? But Star Fleet has lost contact with its Pathfinder team it sent there and a rescue team that was sent there shortly after. For two years there were no incidents then these two in recent months. Now with pressure on Star Fleet to get answers they need volunteers for the suicide mission of getting the answers. Once the new team is on the planet they feel like they are being watched at all times. The crew gets to the outpost to find everyone dead and these little black masses left behind. A creature that was found the units before them is the cause of death and reproducing from the black masses killing the new crew off one by one. The creature is seen less than creatures in “The Boogens”. A super cheap ass “Alien” rip-off with not a ton of plot that makes a fun movie to watch with a group of friends as I give it 2 stars.

Closure (DVD) – A short film from Alex Cassun about a police detective who wants to speak with a dangerous suspect. The suspect injured during the arrest grants the wish of the detective but be careful what you wish for as I give the quick short film 3 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019

Gross Movie Reviews #467

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Gross Movie Reviews #467

 

The Immortalizer (DVD) – A doctor uses a little known clinic for his experiments. He kidnaps the young in order to move his rich older clients’ brains into their bodies. His transplants do have a drawback. One of ten turn into a mutant and the good doctor uses these mutants to help wrangle young people for him. He makes enough money and moves onto the next town. When it is time to clean up he pushes the remains down a shute into a large meat grinder I believe they stole from the set of “The Exterminator”. This late 80s flick is a little boring but worth the watch if you enjoy the B-flicks as I give it 2 stars.

 

Demented Death Farm Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – A 1971 film with several titles that is under the Troma umbrella thanks to Fred Olen Ray. Fred bought the title in the early 80s and shot a few minutes of footage with John Carradine and spliced it in to make the film marketable. So Troma in the mid-80s picked it up. Four jewel thieves jeep breaks down after their heist. So to escape the local authorities they find a farm in the middle of nowhere until there vehicle can be fixed. Of course the four cannot keep to themselves and things get out of hand quickly as one by one they die. If interested here are all the alternate titles: Honey Pie, Shantytown Honeymoon, Honey Britches, Death Farm, The Hillbilly Hooker, Moonshiners’ Women, and Little Whorehouse on the Prairie that I know of as I give it 1 star.

 

Baby Bath Massacre (YouTube) – I was tricked by the title thinking this could be something special as I went down several worm holes on YouTube to watch it. But this early 90s film ended up being an Australian teen drama that spun off a TV series. Most of the movie consists of teens going to a roller skating rink and overcome bullying and talking feelings. Damn yinz for tricking I hope for so much as I give this flick 0 stars for false advertisement.

 

Critters: A New Binge (Shudder) – This series/movie should have been titled “Critters: A Huge Misstep”. After many years the film series about man-eating hairy balls called ‘Crites’ has returned to Earth. The Crites are on a secret mission to retrieve one of their own that has been left on Earth. Problem is the bounty hunters get wind of this and also return to stop the Crites again. Sounds somewhat good until we learn the Crite they are looking for is a hungry teenager that is half Crite/half human. Throughout the 8 mini-episodes the Critters look great or some of the worst CGI effects you have seen in the past decade. This disappointed me greatly as it came off half-ass and possibly not completely for possible unknown reasons. Anyway Shudder wins again as it has everyone talking about the new series good or bad as I give it 1 ½ stars and still hold hope there may be a legit sequel coming?

 

Dark Haul (DVD) – So when the 13th child is born to the 13th child it is predicted by the priesthood it will be a demon! So when it is born 270 years ago it begins killing from its first second on Earth but the demon has a twin sister who has a psychic link. Both do not age and its now present day and the priesthood wants to move them to a more secure and rural place. But there is others in this secret priesthood that want both dead. The sister has different plans for the two after years of being in captivity. The film has a cool creature, there is a bunch of gore effects, but is the prophecy fulfilled when it’s not actually the 13th child but 14 since it was twins? Sorry if I brought logic to watching the movie but it bothered me as I watched it but still entertained as I give it 2 stars.

 

Midnight Madness (DVD) – Another teen comedy that has five teams of college students playing in an all-night scavenger hunt. The teams are picked by Leon the Game Master who believes in his ‘great all-nighter’ as he has the teams running all over the city looking for clues. I believe it is a hilarious film with an all-star cast now looking back on the film. It lacks in the boob department but makes up for it with being a solid comedy well worth revisiting if you are old like me. I give this fun 1980 comedy 3 stars.

Plank Face (DVD) – Anytime I see an independent film that stars Ellie Church you have my attention as I believe she makes everything she is in better! This film interests me but sat on my pile longer than usual because I wasn’t seeing many people talk about it. So I sat down to watch it and was surprised more than anything for it not being the usual independent slasher the poster might portray it as. Instead you get this odd deep story of a young man named Max. Max and his girlfriend head out to the woods for a camping trip only to be interrupted by a rapist. Max was knocked out for this to happen but awakens to kill the man who takes advantage of his girlfriend Stacey. But Max is knocked out again only to awake this time in an unknown cabin where he has been taken captive by a backwoods family who force him to become one of them whether he wanted too or not. The film is a bit slow and has a beginning that doesn’t fit the film in my opinion but stick with it as it’s a much different concept. The flick has a little grit, a little sleaze, and enough blood to make all viewers happy that take a chance on watching this as I give it 3 stars.

 

Ballad of Blood (DVD) – A newer film from legendary filmmaker Ruggero Deodato that involves four people and the day after a big Halloween party. Lenka, Jacopo, and Duke wake up to Lenka’s roommate being dead. None of the three even remember what happened or how they even got to the apartment. But the three piss around for many scenes getting high and watching footage that Elizabeth shot as she wants to be a filmmaker someday. As the three keep drugging themselves up and moving Elizabeth’s body, they feel no remorse and for the most part are just trying to figure out how they can get away with it? This film was tough to watch all the way through as it felt it didn’t have a whole lot of direction and wasn’t sure what kind of movie it wanted to be? I hate to say this but horror fans don’t watch it, good chance you will be disappointed in this project as I give it a ½ star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

 

Gross Movie Reviews #466

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Gross Movie Reviews #466

A Meowy Halloween (DVD) – Steve Rudzinski digs deep into his comedy bag to bring you this little gem about a talking cat named Whiskers and its owner Wally. Wally just happens to be a police detective and a man whose family was cursed many years ago. If Wally isn’t spitting candy corn out of the car he is busy with his stakeout of a possible witch in the neighborhood. But Whiskers as much scarier things going on at home as the cat believes the strange things that are happening are the work of a haunting. And Whiskers will stop at nothing to have the ghosts removed as long as Wally’s credit card covers the cost? Yes, the movie is completely silly but once again Steve and crew prove it doesn’t all have to be about horror as they pull a family film out of thin air. If by some chance you been living under a rock and have not seen any of Steve’s movies it is time for you to visit www.silverspotlightfilms.moonfruit.com as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

 

American Poltergeist: The Curse of Lilith Ratchet (DVD) – The curse was me sitting through this dull ass flick. But anyway a couple young women steal a shrunken head and sell it to a so-called paranormal expert. He uses the head for PR stunt for his upcoming show. The expert, Hunter Perry, gets attendees to play hot potato with the shrunken head and once eliminated from the game Lilith Ratchet soon comes to eliminate them in real life. Oh this horrific as I give it one star. The film isn’t as bad as it is dull.

 

Urban Warriors (YouTube) – Just another Italian post-apocalyptic flick where three research techs survive a nuclear war in their underground lab. They dig their asses out of the underground lab only to find things have changed. The world is fucked and it is filled with cannibalistic, leather-clad, motorcycle gangs where normal people are hard to come by. But that does not stop Brad of the research team to try to survive and save the human race. If you are lucky you get to see this film with the Michael Dudikoff introduction as this flick lacks the fun that most Italian post-apocalyptic films are when watching. This film suffers from “it could have been better even with its low budget” but hey shit happens as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Galaxy of the Dinosaurs (DVD) – One of JR Bookwalter’s early 90s films made for nearly nothing that has a group of space travelers trapped on the unknown world of Gurgon. Or just somewhere out in the middle of the woods of Somewhere, Ohio. The space travelers must deal with the dinosaurs that are trying to eat them as they must figure a way off the planet. A hilariously bad movie that apparently has a few stories behind it from I have heard from some Bookwalter fans as I give it one star.

 

Godmonster of Indian Flats (YouTube/DVD) – Possibly one of the most random films about a mutant sheep attacking a small town. This western horror flick is about a young farm dude named Eddie and a university professor named Dr. Clemens. A giant bloody embryo is found next to Eddie in the sheep pin after a bad night on the town. Dr. Clemens convinces Eddie to take it to his lab so he can research it. But soon it mutates, hatches, and terrorizes the small western town as they were going to use it as a sideshow attraction to make money for the town. The movie isn’t real good but the monster is actually really cool looking and makes the film entertaining enough to stick it out as I give the flick 2 stars.

 

Ground Zero (DVD) – A film somewhat based on fact has a second generation cameraman Harvey getting mixed up with the royal commission in 1984. They are investigating the claims of aborigines being left in the way of the blasts from nine A-bombs during the late 50s into the 60s. Harvey doesn’t pay too much attention to this until the government comes knocking at his door knowing his father was the cameraman for the tests. And his father may have hidden away some incriminating evidence of the event somewhere in an old film can. Mr. Denton gets neck deep into the investigating after he finds out his father was murdered twenty years ago and believes his answer is out in the desert where his father’s old friend lives. Donald Pleasence happy to see the young Denton explains the events and how his father got mixed up with it. In the end Harvey’s effort is useless but the ending of what happened to the lost footage makes the movie that much more interesting as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Once Upon a Time at Christmas (DVD) – December 14th marks the day that Santa and his Miss Claus begin their murder spree in Woodridge, New York. The small town police have trouble piecing together why the murders are taking place. But when they figure out it the murders are traced to the 12 days of Christmas they have the clue they needed for the killer Santa. Apparently Nick Conway is a military vet that lost his mind and eventually had a bitter divorce. This leads Nick looking for his daughter so they can be a family again. Another holiday slasher to add to your favorites list when Christmas rolls around as I give it 2 stars.

 

Future Zone (DVD) – For those who pay attention this B-movie sequel to “Future Force” have David Carradine’s character John Tucker facing off with a drug lord. John’s son Billy travels 30 years from the future to help his father live another day and bring down the drug lord. The film has it all David A. Prior directing, Charles Napier is the mayor, and Carradine using a Nintendo power glove to blow things up equals B-movie gold as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Darkside of the Moon (YouTube/DVD) – The year is 2022 and a ship called Spacecore-1 is on a dangerous mission of fixing satellites in orbit. The ship has a malfunction and they drift to the dark side of the moon where communications fail. The crew has about 24 hours to get things up and running again or they will run out of air. As they are floating out in space they come across a NASA shuttle that hasn’t been seen in 30 years. They board it in hopes of using it to fix their ship’s problems only to find a dead body aboard the shuttle. The crew brings it back and several weird things begin to happen to the crew members while they are alone. Who is it? What is it? When the dead body comes to life it seems the devil is among them and this has some connection to the Bermuda Triangle back on Earth. A pretty solid flick that feels like a 80s Corman sci-fi flick but isn’t. One of those films that got lost in the direct-to-video shuffle during the early 90s as I give it 3 stars.

 

Captain Marvel (Theater) – Carol Danvers becomes a powerful superhero by accident when testing a secret plane for an air force scientist. It is set in the 90s and meant to connect Nick Fury, the Avengers, S.H.I.E.L.D, and a few other things for the Marvel movie fans. But like the “Thor” films before it the film is mostly just a ‘place holder’ until the real action begins with the next “Avengers” film. “Captain Marvel” is entertaining but not memorable as I give the big popcorn flick 3 stars as it makes me wanting the “Avengers” movie to come sooner than later. Again it’s no “Iron Man” or “Black Panther” but not much is?

 

Aquaman (DVD) – Arthur aka Aquaman must come back home to Atlantis to claim his kingdom before it is taken by his brother and he uses it to declare war on the rest of the world. The movie doesn’t take itself too serious and much more entertaining than the serious DC “Superman” and “Batman” flicks. If that wasn’t enough it does have Dolph Lundgren and Willem Dafoe in important roles which I am always a fan of those guys! DC pay attention yinz did something right here with Aquaman and Wonder Woman as I give this flick 3 ½ stars.

Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse (On Demand) – An absolute fun animated film with not your usual storyline. A young teen Miles Morales is bitten by a spider while working on his artwork in the subway with his uncle. Soon his world is flipped upside down when he meets Peter Parker and he is going to show Miles the ropes of being a Spider-man. But while Parker is fighting Kingpin he dies and Miles promises Peter he will destroy Fisk’s super-collider. Fisk wants his family back so bad he is willing to destroy the city of New York and possibly all of reality. But with the open portal to other realities several Spider-people come from parallel universes and they must help Miles face off against Kingpin and shut down the collider. The story of Miles is perfect as he must now be the Spider-man of his dimension. Two things made this film absolutely perfect for me. First, one of the alternate Spider-men is Peter B. Parker who is mid-40s, divorced, and out of shape. Second, spoiler alert people I finally get an appearance of Spider-man 2099 in a movie! This flick gets four stars all the way and I hope to see a possible sequel or just another story to expand this universe.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Two new episodes of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks

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This week Tim, Kyle, and John recount all the weeks’ viewings and check into 3 flicks to review.  First being Tommy Lee Jones goes full homeland terrorist in THE PARK IS MINE,  Then we get into Robert Ginty straight outta dental surgery and fighting against the powers of the mighty Donald Pleasence in WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD.  Then Barbara Stanwick moves into a crazy house in an ABC movie of the week jam called THE HOUSE THAT WOULD NOT DIE.  Also we talk the ins and outs of movie piracy, Living in Amish country, and CHUDS!!!!!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

This time around we talk about 3 more flicks.  The first being picked by Tim and is a movie that stars anyone who has ever been in a horror movie ever…LITERALLY in DEATH HOUSE,  Then another great ABC movie of the week flick in A COLD NIGHTS DEATH (Spoiler Alert} It has monkeys!!!  Then Art kills snooty folks in the newest Netflix jam VELVET BUZZSAW.  Also we talk about the newest and saddest horror gimmick to try to separate you from your money Fanmio.com We answer your questions,  and rundown all of this week’s flicks worth talking about. 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #463

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Gross Movie Reviews #463

Blood of the Mummy (Festival screener) – This latest low budget independent flick from the talented filmmaker Christine Parker has her reaching deep into the bag of horror. The film revolves around a beautiful woman named Louise. She has had a hard life ever since she witnessed the death of her parents who were digging up the tomb of Princess Ananka in Egypt. Since then during different times in Louise’s life the Mummy that killed everyone in the tomb when she was a child shows up as a weird ass protector killing those who have wronged Louise. Now in her late 20s Louise is at a mental health home still searching for answers about the Mummy and very upset her doctor does not believe her. For years Louise has thought she was cursed but now during shock therapy she may have found a link to her curse and why? This could have been Ms. Parker’s best film to date. On the slim budget she was able to bring together a great cast, a great story, and add some unexpected gore to the ‘mummy’ genre that doesn’t do much gore. I felt like this movie should be a little grainy because of how clean it looked (it felt old school). Christine and crew didn’t waste shots and really created a story where you cared for both the mummy and the Louise character. Kudos to Ms. Parker for bringing to life a wonderful take on an old school monster as I give the flick 4 out of 4 stars. www.facebook.com/christinepparker

Lock the Door (Vimeo) – A short film that answers the question, “why you should always lock your door, home or not?” A young man leaves for work in the morning unbeknownst to him a stalker lurks by watching. When the young man comes back in the evening to relax this is when the unknown stalker chooses to attack. If only that young man remembered to lock the door he might be still with us? This latest from the talented Philip Brocklehurst who seems to be tirelessly working on projects is homage to “Halloween”. Well done sir as I give the short 3 out of 4 stars and yes I did enjoy the “Howling IV” poster and DVD collection in the background. www.facebook.com/philip.brocklehurst.9

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Gross Movie Reviews #462

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Gross Movie Reviews #462

 

King of the Zombies (DVD) – This is a fun old school film about three people who crash land on an island that just happens to have a mad doctor on it. This doctor has turned some of the people who live there into zombies as he tries to get answers from a military man who landed there. The doctor is going to give these secrets to the Nazis. The evil doctor convinces the three plane-wrecked folks to stay in his mansion but they soon learn the good doctor is up to no good. He uses a radio signal to lure planes in and take advantage of them. A pretty funny flick about voodoo, zombies, and ghosts as I give it 3 stars.

 

Gods and Monsters (DVD) – The film follows the last few weeks of James Whale’s life as he flashes back to a child to making “Frankenstein” to a gay man in Hollywood. He makes friends with his gardener claiming to want to draw his pictures but eventually just keeps telling him stories of his life that no one ever knew. An Interesting and entertaining film to say the least as I give it 3 stars.

 

Overlord (On Demand) – A group of soldiers are sent in behind the enemy lines on June 5th, 1944 with the sole mission to take out a radio tower on top of a church. Destroy the tower then American forces can catch the Germans by surprise the next day. There was supposed to be more support but most were killed in the fire fight in the air or just never made it to safety once hitting the ground. The small group soon makes friends with a French villager who like them wants the Nazis gone. But the American soldiers soon learn of experiments being done in the basement of the old church. The Nazi’s super soldier program that is going to jump start the thousand year reign of The Third Reich! Now the American soldiers’ debate on what should be done as they fight amongst each other as time is running out. A very gory fight to the end that makes for a fun piece of fiction but plays on all the rumors you have ever heard or read about Hitler’s plans for the Third Reich as I give the movie 3 ½ stars.

 

Rio Bravo (Blu-ray) – I will be the first to admit that I am not a John Wayne fan. I have always been more of a Clint Eastwood western fan. But after podcast buddy Kyle informed me about the Blu-ray version of this film had a commentary done by John Carpenter. You it was only a matter of time before I gave the film a chance. So the other day I sat down and started watching this flick that pits a sheriff, a former drunk, some kid, and a crippled old dude against a gang of bandits who want their cohort released from jail. Hell, who would of guessed Dean Martin knew how to act outside of comedy? The most impressive thing I took away from the film wasn’t John Wayne but the role Angie Dickinson played. She was absolutely perfect and gives the movie that right kind of mix that made me now a fan of the film. Anyway John Carpenter goes in depth about his love Howard Hawkes films and how this film inspired his career. He includes some interesting stories about John Wayne and others while filming the movie. This flick gets 4 stars all the way.

Cherokee Creek (DVD) – We begin with two rednecks out in the restricted area of the woods trying to hunt for Bigfoot for a million dollars. This sets up the rest of the film as they are killed of course we get a home invasion and kidnapping of a man named Pat. They reach the same restricted woods and we learn that it wasn’t a home invasion/kidnapping; it was just a way to get Pat to his bachelor party. His friends who happen to be movie people that includes actor Vinnie Blades have things set up knowing Pat is also a Bigfoot fan. Pat completely upset listens to his friends and makes due with the bachelor party happening. Once the strippers show up chaos ensues as the Bigfoot in the woods isn’t happy with all the sex, pooping, and drinking in his woods. I loved the concept of the movie and it was well thought out but the length of the movie kills the buzz for the love I want to give the Bigfoot film. “Cherokee Creek” nears the two hour mark and could have easily been edited down to 85 minutes. Also wasn’t impressed with the Bigfoot costume but willing to get over that because of the fun mix of Bigfoot, blood, and sex. Honestly folks this could be one of the better Bigfoot films out there if the filmmakers go back and edit this long ass film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Vampire Time Travelers (DVD) – An absolutely terrible thing called a movie that is from 1997 and shot-on-video making it look like it was done 1987? A sorority was haunted by a vamp named Natalia but the girls found a way to kill her. Now Natalia’s sister seeks revenge on the same sorority Alpha Omega. Since one sister by the name of Sue Ann Marie is pure, Natalia must gain strength in order to take over Sue. The only to go about this is biting the other sorority sisters in the butt. Be warned this is one of those dream sequence movies as I give this a ½ star.

The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot (On Demand) – Sam Elliott plays a man named Calvin Barr who is older now but remembers the days of when he killed Hitler. He has regretted it ever since. Calvin lives alone and is pretty isolated from any family. As Calvin debates with himself and what he has or hasn’t done with his life he is visited by a government man and a scientist. They explain to him that there is a Bigfoot that is carrying the ‘nightmare plague’ that threatens all of mankind as the Bigfoot is making its way out of the Canadian woods. The U.S. wants to drop the ‘bomb’ on the 50 square mile area but the Canadian government wants to exhaust every option before they do. So Calvin is faced with saving the world again and he takes to the wilderness. What makes the film interesting is first it not played for laughs but completely serious. Second the movie is actually more of a love story that never got to happen? Third, some interesting twist about Hitler lure is thrown into the story including Hitler being a shell of a man at the end and his hand twitching from possible Parkinson’s. This movie easily could have fleshed out several things in the film but chosen to keep it a reasonable. I am of the belief this will be one of those films that audiences will find about five or ten years from now and make it a cult favorite as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Bat People (DVD) – A man and his wife are out checking out some caves and he happens to be bitten on the forehead by a bat. Worried about rabies he listens to the wife and gets checked out. When he has an allergic reaction to the rabies serum it is chalked up to “shit happens”. Things seem to be good now but he slowly dreams of radical changes and eventually goes out to kill. With each episode he slowly is changing into a bat that needs human blood. A mid-70s flick that I am surprised I never seen on “Chiller Theater” or a “Svengoolie” show as I give it 2 stars.

 

Dead Ant (On Demand) – A stupid but hilarious film about a supposedly popular metal band that wants to return to rock band greatness. So the manager and the band ‘Sonic Grave’ decide in order for this happen they must stop for drugs on their way to a music festival they are going to play at. They pick up some peyote and head to the red rocks only to disobey what the Native American man told them while using the drug. Now they have giant ants attacking them and trying to eat their bodies. The movie is dumb but it so damn entertaining because of Tom Arnold’s character as the manager who offends all involved as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Mad Warrior (DVD) – Hey people I found another post-apocalyptic flick from the Philippines made in the mid-80s that you may know it as “Clash of the Warlords”. Rex is man who is supposed to be one of the best fighters for a weirdo Malzon. Malzon gives him the choice of killing his best friend for his freedom. So Rex does the task but gets screwed in the deal. Rex still wants to escape the compound with his son so when a young woman comes calling with a plan he jumps on it. Once out of the compound Malzon’s men kill Rex’s son and the young lady. So of course Rex now wants revenge and Malzon just wants to howl at the moon and blood in his arena. It all comes down to a generic light saber fight in a cave that is lit with sparklers! Yes, I know you are interested as I give it 2 stars and it can usually be found YouTube.

 

Rush (DVD) – An Italian post-apocalyptic film about one man named ‘Rush’ trying to survive the wasteland in his little six-wheeler. He gets captured by the supreme master who keeps all survivors as slaves on the inside of his compound. The supreme master has just learned the contamination in the wasteland maybe gone as plants are starting to grow and Rush knows this also. Rush finds it tough to gather people that want to follow him on the inside and overthrow the place so they can live free their last days. 75% of the film is the supreme master’s men trying to track Rush on the outside as he runs circles around them. Outside of the beginning film that used the set from the film “Rats: Night of Terror” I don’t think a whole lot happens in this flick as I give it 2 stars.

 

Chosen Survivors (DVD) – It is 1974 and nuclear war has broken out. The U.S. government has certain people picked out for the survival of mankind. They are taken to one of the several underground shelters to live and stay until the radiation levels have gone down. The 11 people are safe but have an unwanted guest or guests as vampire bats have made their way into the shelter. Besides the survivors paranoia of being trapped in this shelter for unknown amount of time with bats about five days in they find out they were a part of an experiment. An experiment to see if the shelter was well-equipped and how people would react under these conditions.  A well-produced horror film with blood-thirsty bats that uses the fear of the 70s and nuclear war. And you wonder why people don’t trust the government as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019

 

Bloodbaths and Boomsticks has a new episode and a commentary for your listening pleasure.

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This week we find 2 truly awesome hidden gems, and one bona fide classic.  First we talk about a straight to video action flick that Kyle and John neglected to watch in Lady Avenger.  Then we talk about a bonkers 80’s ghost/supernatural/haunted house/ ghost flick in SUPERSTITION.  And then John shows Kyle BAY OF BLOOD for the first time.  Also, we talk about beautiful Italian girls, Bernie Mac, Pittsburgh Geography, The Geneva convention and its connection to war crimes, and lousy Queen movies.  So Download this episode or Bohemian Rhapsody will not win the Oscar.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com

 

 

 Well… the Super Bowl was boring, predictable, and shitty.  So we decided to record a commentary for something infinitely more entertaining NEON MANIACS!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com

Here is how to enter the Grossfest film contest!

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Grossfest Film Contest

Hey independent filmmakers you have a feature length film or a short film that you are thinking about sending to festivals? Well, we are looking for them for Grossfest 2019! Here are the rules:

 

First, we need a physical copy of the film to qualify.

Second, no fee for entering the film except the shipping charges you will have to pay to get the film to us.

Third, this does not guarantee the film will play at Grossfest. Why? We have a limited amount of time. Come on people it’s a one day event. Tim Gross will be picking the best feature and best short film and they will receive the Grossfest movie award. Also all films will be reviewed and show up on www.grossmoviereviews.com . Like the film or not Tim will still review it.

Fourth, all entries need to be in or postmarked by June 30, 2019. This is so proper time can be given to review the movie and decide the winners. The winners of best feature and best short film will be shown at some point between 11am – 10pm of July 20, 2019 during Grossfest. Hopefully we will have a schedule of the films playing a few weeks before Grossfest?

Any questions can be sent to grossfest@gmail.com . Or contact Tim Gross on Facebook www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews for where to send it.

Gross Movie Reviews #461

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Gross Movie Reviews #461

 

Death House (DVD) – What else can you say except it stars everyone and the story was from Gunnar Hansen. After Operation: Paperclip in 1954 put together a highly secretive hidden compound that houses complete psychos. Using technology to their advantage they study and experiment on these so-called psychos for future research and to see if they can eventually weed them out of the DNA chain. Boone and Novak are two agents that were apparently chosen out of many to not only tour the facility but work closely with doctors. They will not only observe the inmate experiments they will also be a part of them. While this is all going on a kid or something like a kid eats a security officer and places something inside of him. The guard is taken to medical inside and an EMP bomb goes off shutting down everything. This will allow prisoners to come out of their fog and riot. Once it happens Kane Hodder’s character who is a neo-Nazi that cannot die uses this to his advantage to go looking for the ‘Five Evils’. These are gods or people he admires and believes will help him get back out into the real world. The two agents now must stop him and the five evils. The movie wasn’t horrible but not really good either. I enjoyed Tony Todd as usual but the movie to me felt like a lot was either left on the cutting room floor or never filmed at all? I just really believe this film could have been so much more as I give it 2 stars.

Clownado (Vimeo) – I absolutely enjoy Todd Sheets and his projects and when this was announced last year it just made sense. Mr. Sheets writes and directs this twisted tale of a circus clown named Ronnie who runs the show. Ronnie and his old lady Savanna have a huge argument after Savanna is found with another man and she feels wronged by Ronnie. So leave it to Todd Sheets to come up with an idea of where Savanna has Ronnie and his clown cronies cursed! The curse is a tornado that comes from the sky and sucks them up in it. But that isn’t the end of Ronnie and friends as with Savanna on the run the supernatural force known as Clownado searches out Savanna to get their own bit of revenge. In the end it is a fight to the death between Ronnie the clown and his woman Savanna where along the way: we get some clown boobs, a good amount of gore, and my favorite part of the film an Elvis impersonator played by the talented Antwoine Steele! Mr. Sheets you had me at “Clownado”… but I would love to see Elvis vs. the Clownado in the sequel as I give this low budget clownfest 3 out of 4 stars.

 

To Hell and Back: The Kane Hodder Story (On Demand) – Kane Hodder goes through his life from everything to being bullied as a kid to what happened to him being Jason in the “Freddy vs. Jason” film. The biggest thing to take away from this documentary is Kane Hodder is one awesome dude but he finally sets the record straight about his burns. Kane goes into great horrific detail of what actually happen in 1977 and almost destroyed his career and him before it ever got started. Kane gets my respect and you don’t have to be a fan to enjoy this documentary about him as I give it 4 stars.

 

Stranger Things: Season Two (Blu-ray) – There isn’t a whole lot I can say about this that you haven’t heard already. The group moves on a year later after the disappearance of ‘Eleven’ and their friend returning from the alternate dimension. You will enjoy how they not only expand the universe of the kids, but the sheriff, the government how they are continuing the experiments that may take over the town. A really well written and entertaining show that I haven’t been this excited since the “X-files” TV show as I give it 4 stars.

 

Star 80 (DVD) – Based on a true story, Eric Roberts plays the sleazy character Paul Snider who finds a young and beautiful Dorothy Stratten in a Dairy Queen. She eventually becomes a “Playmate of the Year” and Paul gets jealous, murders her then commits suicide. This was based on all the things Paul used Dorothy’s name to get ahead in life while she was just enjoying being a model. Apparently Paul couldn’t take her fame and completely broke down. I give the flick about the dark side of being a celebrity 3 stars.

 

Slenderman (DVD) – Not totally sure why I watched the film based on an internet supernatural story. I believe the true story of the two girls trying to kill their friend for Slenderman was much more interesting than this. A group of teenage girls dare each other to watch the Slenderman video. When they do just like “The Ring” it comes to claim their lives or just haunt them until they take their lives. Anyway I know the film was literally only made for 12 to 16 year olds but how does Slenderman know how to use an iPhone to film his victims? Looking for answers as I give it 1 star.

 

Granny of the Dead (DVD) – A low-budget zombie film from Wales (UK) where grandparents are the cause a zombie epidemic. A shadow hand in a church kills an old lady and she becomes a zombie. Ed and friends are just trying to survive the onslaught of Granny zombies. The film has its funny moments but is mainly for the hardcore zombie fans. If you are just a casual horror fan you may just want to skip this one as I give 2 stars.

 

Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror (Shudder) – A wonderful documentary that takes a look at how and why African-American roles in horror movies have changed so much. Lots of interviews from known actors and actresses that include Ken Foree and Tony Todd. They tackle the whole ‘blackface’ genre of the 30s and 40s to underground horror movies from African-American directors, to how African-Americans completely disappeared during the 50s and 60s in horror movies to Jordan Peele’s “Get Out”. Really cool stuff that was unknown to me about the cinema but makes me enjoy my time talking to Tony Todd about his role as ‘Candyman’ but also as Ben in ‘NOTLD90’. All horror fans should make sure they watch this as I give it 4 stars.

 

Threads (DVD) – Just like the U.S. TV movie “The Day After” that dealt with the threat of nuclear war “Threads” centers itself on a town Sheffield, England and follows a few characters. Instead of the view point of the nuclear bombs hitting the U.S. and Russia this is more of the depressing viewpoint of a place not involved. Where they suffer from the fallout just as much as anyone else if some dumb asses try to hit the red reset button. Another brutal look at what could happen even though the film was portraying what could happen in 1984 and its long term effects. I give the film 4 stars and remember we might now be just as close as we ever been to this happening?

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.comfor details and upcoming guests. #grossfest #grossfest2019