Gross Movie Reviews #538

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Gross Movie Reviews #538

Henchman: The Al Leong Story (DVD) – A wonderful look inside of one of the coolest villains on screen for decades. Even if you didn’t know his name you knew the face and as soon as he appeared you the movie viewer most likely got a little excited. The documentary dives deep into Mr. Leong’s life as he was an established karate champion who loved motorcycles that just happen to do stunt work and loved it. His work got him to work with just about every memorable celebrity in Hollywood. But after his stroke in 2005, Mr. Leong has made a long recovery and only recently started doing interviews and conventions. Love documentaries and got time to kill enjoy this treat and hear all the good stuff said about a man whose face is more recognizable than some of the Hollywood stars of now as I give it 3 stars.

Army of the Dead (On Demand) – The super-hyped Zack Snyder zombie project begins with the military transporting a secret payload aka an unstoppable zombie. An accident happens on the highway outside of Vegas and of course it’s time for a feast for fast changing zombies. After the big fallout some time passes and the city is walled off from the rest of civilization as the government is about to nuke the city to contain the mess. But Dave Batista and is his team of mercs, safe experts, and pilots are given an opportunity to go in to the dangerous zombie filled city and collect 200 million dollars. They have 32 hours until the nukes come raining down! A fun, gory, we get a zombie tiger, popcorn zombie flick that runs way too long but doesn’t take itself too seriously which in the end is a good thing as I give the film 3 stars.

Ouija Mummy (DVD) – From the same people that gave us the disappointing ‘Lycanimator’ came back a year later and gave us a no-budget treat that needs to seeked out by independent film lovers. Anyway a woman brings home some ancient jewelry from a recent Egyptian dig then commits suicide. Not too long after a young couple buys the house and moves in and have a house warming party. Of course Natalie’s guy wants to make her happy and after finding the artifact in the home gives it to Natalie as a house warming gift. Between this and Natalie’s obsession with wanting to play with an Ouija board during the party cause a royal demon to possess Natalie’s body and terror ensues! You will notice a lot of cool Indy names are attached to this project, some cheap but effective effects go a long way, and filmmaker and cast learning from mistakes (Lycanimator) make this a diamond in the rough independent film that not many are talking much about. I give this excellent Indy flick 3 ½ stars as I believe once the story gets going it has this cheap ‘Night of the Demons’ vibe, so enjoy!

Teenage Zombie House Massacre (DVD) – As I refuse to stop looking for ‘massacre’ flicks I find this (2000) grainy 36 minute S.O.V. film from Speed Freak Productions. A group of teenagers plan to have a party at a supposedly haunted house at the end of the tracks. Once there of course it is “sex time”, never mind if the bedroom smells like it is time for them to bang like bunnies! It is all about innocent love in a smelly abandoned home until hidden zombies show up and begin chomping on the young party goers. The film quickly boils down to the teens must pay for disturbing the dead as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

The Last Chase (DVD) – I would have never guessed there is a post-apocalyptic film starring Lee Majors in 1981 but hey we got one and it co-stars the kid who played Rudy in ‘Meatballs’. Lee Majors is Frank Hart a race car driver who like most people has lost his family to a strange virus that shut down the world. As time went on oil was shut off from the public and things went downhill from there. Twenty years has passed and humans have conformed to a more “government is watching” society where rules have changed and no one owns a car. You must use mass transit, walk, or a bike. Frank a loner is still trying to fit in this new life but cannot and digs up his old race car in the garage after being told he needs to watch what he says in a public setting for the ‘utility commission’. Meanwhile a teenager who keeps tapping into the government’s computers believe there is more out there than what the government are allowing you to do? So the misfit hitches a ride with Frank to escape to California so they can live free. The government refuses to allow someone to escape to the Free State so they call up an old jet fighting pilot into duty since pilots no longer exist and have him go after the two. An oddity for Lee Majors I thought but thank the lord Rutger Hauer for someone pointing out this wonderful gem I never heard of as I give it 3 stars.

Teen Massacre (DVD) – In 2004 before ‘Jack Brooks the Monster Slayer’ this young filmmaker put together a short film set in 1986 where a group of students are out in the woods getting soil samples for a class project. Bored, the students stumble upon a half human thing in a locked cage. Curiosity getting the best of the students, they release it and the thing obliterates his victims or said students. This is a glorious fun mess of a short film needing to be revisited again and again as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Supervan (DVD) – This 1977 vanspolitation film has a young man (Morgan) quit his job so he can drive his van to a competition on Halloween weekend to win $5000! But along the way Morgan’s van gets crushed in a junkyard while saving a cute lady from some bikers. So of course he goes visit his engineering buddy who just so happens to be working on this super-secret project aka solar powered van man named Vandora. A project a major car maker doesn’t want the public to know about because he wants all of yinz to keep buying gas guzzlers. So the couple head off to this van festival for all sorts of sex, drugs, and van competition for the coolest van ever! As long as the couple can stay away from the hijinks of Tex they should have no problem winning at the van event as I give the film 2 stars. It felt like ‘Convoy’ but with vans and on Halloween for some odd reason.

The Kansas City Massacre (DVD) – I believe this was a TV movie from 1975 set in the early 30s where two gangsters break out their fellow criminal from prison. Not long from the prison break they go rob a bank and run into another gang they thought was the police at first. They join forces and begin robbing ten different banks in three different states. This catches the eyes of the F.B.I. as they put together a special task force to bring these criminals to justice. Pretty Boy Floyd has second thoughts after one of their partners is captured and sets up a peaceful exchange but a huge shootout happens (Kansas City Massacre) and Floyd comes into info that he was set up by the police commissioner. Floyd wants revenge and even explains to the F.B.I. once he has revenge the criminal activity will end. I give it 2 stars… I knew I was going to watch it as it has ‘massacre’ in the title.

Presidents’ Day Massacre (DVD) – A subpar 2015 no budget horror film where an inmate escapes from prison heading to a place called Little Jamestown. Apparently there was a murder a year ago in the little town and now the masked killer is there to restart his killing spree. The spree begins at a lame house party full of seniors with the reveal of the killer that will most likely put you to sleep as I give it a ½ star.

Gutter Punk Massacre (DVD) – A bad 2014 flick out of New Mexico where it looks like a crazed man in flannel is bursting into houses and killing people. But you quickly find out a middle-aged dude armed with a medical facemask and a blow dart controls this individual to kill randomly. The whole reason for the chaos is because the good doctor is sucking punk ding dong for $20 a pop in the office! The film is a chaotic hot mess that doesn’t make too much sense but has a severed punk wiener picked up by a detective and a hilarious death to the skull by a Pabst beer. The weird part is I could see a cult following for this film if those involved really tried pushing it out there on social media but anyway I give it a ½ star.

Wrath of Man (On Demand) – Jason Statham’s latest where he plays a man who lost his son during a robbery of a cash truck where one of the burglars kill his son in the street. After a short recovery in the hospital he gets a job with the cash truck company simply known as “H”. This helps him get a foot in the door and track down how and why his son died but the kicker is everyone is a criminal and no good guys as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

The Spade County Massacre (DVD) – A small town that was scared to death by a cult several years was put to rest by the town sheriff. The sheriff wrongly accused a local man named Doug and everything seems to go away for about five years. Now there is talk of the cult being back and the sheriff is looking at Doug for anything that may go down in the small town. But with a new deputy on the force who is looking into the old files of this cult not everything looks like they seem with the old sheriff and Doug. The cult believes in resurrection of the dead and in Spade County the dead doesn’t always stay dead. A pretty boring horror flick trying to combine demons, the undead, crooked cop, bad effects, and a serial killer as I give it a ½ star.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

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Gross Movie Reviews #470

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Gross Movie Reviews #470

 

Midnight Review (DVD) – Here is something from new independent filmmakers Mitch Tyree and Broaden Torture Productions. This flick follows friends who work for a horror critic website and magazine called “Midnight Review”. As the so-called friends are bickering constantly, a man in a skull mask stalks them and the staff/friends are dropping like flies. In the end I like the concept since the story tries to keep you from figuring out the killer is by having all characters involved feel they are ‘the best horror critic’. Tyree and company’s effort suffers from learning that editing is your friend. Overall some things could have been done differently but I like what they could do project wise in the future as I give this 2 out 4 stars. Check out www.facebook.com/broadentortureproductions for more details.

 

Obsessive (DVD) – The next Mitch Tyree effort is a film about a vlogger/blogger who wants to make a horror movie. He is disgusted with the entries into the genre out there. So he decides he will film everything he does including heading a horror movie convention to do some interviews of other independent filmmakers to get their take. But some of the insight the vlogger/blogger gets is disappointed and just cements his belief the killings need to be real on film. The masked blogger believes that killing these randomly picked people and having it filmed will make them famous since he is filming it as it happens. This second effort from the Broaden Torture Productions crew is much better project that could gain some independent horror fans. This film has the feel or tone of  an “August Underground” film and again editing could have helped in the long term but still a solid effort I give 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Check out www.facebook.com/broadentortureproductions for more details.

 

Spookies and Oddities Volume One (DVD) – Three disturbing shorts put together that has an abusive husband listening to the devil on his shoulder, a person who only seems to be able to see and a hear man, and we get to see a woman being stalked. All these are done in a little over 20 minutes by the Broaden Torture Production crew. Most likely little ideas they had that were never fleshed out or just trying out some ideas before they decide to make full features? These DVDs are cool things for the die-hard independent fans that want to get to know the crew better and see what might be in store for the future as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. Check out www.facebook.com/broadentortureproductions for more details.

Weed Wacker Massacre (YouTube) – An absolutely wonderful 12 ½ minute film from a production team called ‘Crap Films’. A weed wacker shorts out and electrocutes a man using it. Thus causing the man’s spirit to take over and the weedwacker begin slicing and dicing through the neighbors. A hilarious idea that ends with a man wrestling the weed wacker on the ground! I always love this kind of simple fun gory stuff as I give it 4 stars.

 

Blood City Massacre (YouTube/DVD) – Peter Crady is a tatted up bald dude that gets great joy out of breaking necks! It has been two years since Peter killed his parents and decides to break out of the local asylum to break necks again. Two agents try to track him down so they hit up his sister Susan who really can care less about Peter. The film has it all: bad music, bad acting, bad storyline, made in Austria, and I do not know if it was made on purpose like this or it was actually that bad as I give it 1 star. You really got to search for this independent DVD since it is overseas but very easily can be watched on YouTube.

Werewolf Massacre at Hell’s Gate (DVD) – In Skinner’s Grove back in 1693 the residents burn a woman they believed to be a witch. Of course like all witches in horror movies she curses the future residents of Skinner’s Grove! Now present day a paranormal researcher is finding evidence of werewolves in the cursed town. With the local residents already knowing of the curse they have dispatched armed militants to gun down the creatures. Pretty cheesy and pretty boring at times but just glad I watched it for the title as I give it 1 star. If you search Amazon hard enough you can find a DVD on the cheap.

 

Urban Massacre (DVD) – This movie idea was bad from the beginning as the latest unknown hip hop group is about to burst out big. But before they do they all must deal with an ugly killer clown. Something tells me someone watched “Killjoy” and made a cheaper version of that movie that fails miserably. I give this flick 0 stars for existing.

 

Teen Massacre (DVD/YouTube) – A 16 minute short film from filmmaker Jon Knautz that gave us the creature feature “Jack Brooks Monster Slayer”. Jon Knautz sends teens out into the forest for a science project but find a thing trapped in a cage. Some info on the internet claims this 2004 short can be seen as an extra on the “Jack Brooks Monster Slayer” DVD. I have the DVD and this was not on there? So maybe it is an extra on the Blu-ray or later versions of the DVD? Either way I give the short film 2 stars.

 

Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (DVD) – Back in 1985 someone got idea of making Fred Ward an action star… They should have stuck with it. Fred Ward plays a New York cop whose death is faked because he has been recruited by an organization that goes after untouchable criminals. They give him a new name in Remo Williams as his training is to tear him down and retrain him without the use of weapons. His body is the weapon as he will eventually be able to dodge bullets and walk on water. But his main goal is to bring down a man who works within the military named Grove who sells weapons to the U.S. military. Grove’s evil sidekick is a young Patrick Kilpatrick who gets into a couple fun action scenes with Ward. Another cool action film from the mid-80s that should not be dismissed when you talk this genre of film with people as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Trench 11 (DVD) – The film is set in WWI, 1918. On the western front of France something terrible is discovered that the Germans were secretly doing. A whole underground tunnel system that was dug out by Germans was buried on purpose. So a small group of Allied soldiers are sent to the abandoned bunker at the same time the Germans make preparations to return so no one can learn their deep evil secrets of what was really going on there. The Allies once arriving find a German lab and people that should have be dead but still live, kind of. The Germans were exploring a biological weapon and may have unleashed something that cannot be contained? If you are a fan of the “Outpost” films and “The Strain” TV show you will most likely enjoy this and if not you will enjoy the exquisite bone crunching autopsy scene as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild Untold Story of Ozploitation (DVD) – A documentary that dives into what started the revolution of filmmaking in Australia that really started in the late 60s and early 70s. Before that they really didn’t have a film industry but slowly filmmakers were starting to pop up and began to put together productions in all genres. George Miller and Brian Trenchard-Smith are two names that Americans know but they have several filmmakers, critics, and actors talk about the crazy times of filmmaking. Just another wonderful and fun documentary for film fans as I give it 4 stars.

 

Caesar & Otto’s Summer Camp Massacre (DVD) – Caesar and Otto are just two guys who don’t have a job and now just happen to be on the run from the law. So what better way to escape them is become summer camp counselors?  As they begin their training their father has been thrown out of his house again and decides to hang with his sons. Once their father shows up the trainees for the summer camp start disappearing and it may or may not have something to do with the head counselor and nurse selling body parts?  I may have enjoyed the role of Felissa Rose in the film it isn’t enough for me to really enjoy the horror/comedy as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Grossfest 2 is coming… July 20, 2019, check our Grossfest Facebook page and www.grossfest.com for details. #grossfest #grossfest2019