Gross Movie Reviews #714

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Gross Movie Reviews #714

Venus Die Trap (Tubi) – This independent project attempts to be an intentional B-movie old school style as it mixes old stock film footage with new stuff shot to fill in certain scenes. The story is pretty basic as it centers on a small town in North Carolina where a meteor has fallen to earth in the nearby woods. The residents quickly see weird things happening and blame the meteor out in the woods as venus fly traps have mutated then attack people! The fate of the community rests in the hands of an innocent botanist named Sally. The film has its moments, it doesn’t overstay its welcome on screen, it is a fun homage to movie stuff that if old enough your parents witness these projects at the drive-in as I give is a solid 2 out of 4 stars.

Blood and Rust (Tubi) – In small town Ohio a young man named Lamont believes he is doing the right thing by running his father’s diner and taking care of the transit homeless that wander through from time to time. But Lamont when alone believes he is just a hamster on a hamster wheel running to nowhere especially after he loses his father to a strange animal attack. Enter our other main character Belko the vampire hunter as Lamont learns the hard way vampires are in town to feed and take over. Lamont is all about helping to save this town as long as it helps the homeless and the sheriff doesn’t get involved as the sheriff gives Lamont a hard time. Little that Lamont knows this life changing event can finally help him get off that so-called hamster wheel of life? The concept and how I explain it makes the film sound a lot better than it is… I mean there is a great idea in there I just felt it wasn’t executed well as I give this project 1 ½ out of 2 stars.

Sonny Boy (Blu-ray) – What if I told you there is this bizarre project released in 1989 that stars Paul Smith, David Carradine, and Brad Dourif you would most likely say “I’m in!” To top it off let me just point out David Carradine does the main song and plays a woman in the film. Plus, Paul Smith owns a cannon that he uses to shit people with if they cross him? Those who have seen this understand and respect the bizarre beauty of this film. This oddity of a story begins in 1970 at a remote hotel where Weasel (Brad Dourif) steals a car unknowingly with a baby in back as he brings it to Slue and Pearl as they are a couple criminals who run a desert town with their wheeling and dealing ways. The couple, mostly Slue, raise the child in their bizarre wicked way to help them take down people who don’t agree with their antics. Years go by until the baby is a full grown adult and the small town has had enough of these criminals. This was a film that you would only hear stories of existing for years as I was lucky enough to get my hands on a bootleg tape many moons ago but now has a great cleaned up physical media copy that needs to be seen in order to understand anybody that has described this wild project! If you are a big movie buff and have not witnessed this you need to fix it right now as I give this project 3 ½ stars.

Invisible Shark (DVD-R) – Independent filmmaker Douglas Waltz is at it again with this wild idea that would make you think old school SyFy channel would have made three of these? No they didn’t as Mr. Waltz makes his David “the rock” Nelson picture where a small town sheriff and deputy are forced to believe there is a shark in their waters when a mangled body washes up on the beach. No one sees the attacks but they see the aftermath as this invisible creature attacks residents of Poloniaville! It takes some time but the police figure out because of the killer animal’s invisibility it doesn’t play by the rules of a regular shark which can work to their advantage of saving the residents. This project is truly wild and insane but this rough cut proves Mr. Waltz believes in giving viewers something wildly strange that they might be missing in their movie watching as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Bone Sickness (Blu-ray) – This somewhat forgotten Indy gem from Brian Paulin in the early 2000s may finally get the credit and kudos it deserves as the movie has found new life in this new special edition. So Alex is a young guy who is terminally ill with a wife Kristen who will do anything to extend Alex’s life or cure him of his terrible disease. Alex’s best friend Thomas comes up with an idea of feeding Alex bone marrow from the recently departed believing this could help him as Kristen is okay with this too. Alex unknowingly is being fed this and begins to go through some sick and gruesome changes that do cause him hunger for blood, nevermind this causing the dead to rise. As Kristen and Thomas believe they were doing what’s best for Alex’s hunger and health, the film slowly turns into this dream-like zombie gorefest that goes way beyond the usual independent zombie stuff we are used to. Paulin’s project is bizarre, gritty, and an absolutely exciting gooey splatterfest that needs to be cherished. Feels like a crazy combo of Meat Market meets Fulci! Rewatching this movie made me appreciate how freakin good it is and many of the filmmakers out there need to watch and rewatch ‘Bone Sickness’ to understand you can do what you do with passion and little money… It can be done! This special edition that is so worth owning has a new commentary with Brian Paulin and Rich George, another commentary from Cult Movie Obsessives, a new location tour segment, and a featurette “The Morbid History of Bone Sickness” along with some of the older extras from the previous DVD from in the early 2000s. 4 out of 4 stars from beginning to end!

Amityville Bloodlines (Blu-ray) – Oh I have tracked more down as we go with entry #83 from the young filmmaker Blaize Tudor as he brings this sequel to his ‘Amityville Bloodbath’. The 34 minute film brings in a few independent vets we all know and love to tell the story of Dr. Trevor and his experiment “Skull Face” who has been let loose in Amityville killing all big and small in the town. Because of the curse or legacy of Amityville this evil experiment cannot be killed. Also after listening to some of the commentary from Blaize Tudor it helped me understand ‘Amityville Bloodbath’ as I see this as more of a ‘Evil Dead/Evil Dead 2’ thing of its not a remake but not a true sequel also? Confusing, I know but I believe the young man Blaize has stumbled onto something that he left a lot that could be done with this idea unknowingly? I saw Skull Face as more of the curse of Amityville that could go full serial killer or supernatural killer as this got away from the Amityville house in general… Skull Face could be a ghostly entity that continues the curse of the town? Maybe to make a little more sense so yinz don’t feel like I am completely insane, think “In a Violent Nature” as I give this project 2 out of 4 stars. Also too would like to point out it was cool to hear Blaize in his commentary be somewhat critical of his past project connecting to this as some independent commentaries try to beat into you they made the perfect project. 

Critter Collection Volume One (DVD) – Matthew Mark Hunter digs deep to give audiences eight short films of terror that deal with a boy being bitten by a cricket, a man being haunted by a roach in his motel room, a story about a giant centipede or Dinopede, a man collecting bugs and regrets the aftermath, two segments that were made nine years apart about a rat terrorizing a man, puppet bunnies fearing for their lives as one wants to leave the forest. So if you are not a fan of killer animals or bugs this no budget fun may haunt you as I give the project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Amityville Webcam (Blu-ray) – Welcome to entry #84 that has been floating around for a bit of time but getting to watch it on streaming or physical media form has only been made available recently. Premise of this entry into the series is about demons webcamming in their time off to play a role playing game where they are humans and deal with a possessed webcam. I give it credit for doing something different for sure but I believe it tells its story in 60 minutes and then just repeats for the next 40 minutes after. Again a solid different concept for the series but goes way too long. Don’t get me wrong this isn’t a ‘Mt. Misery Rd.’ mess as I can only give this entry 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Last + Last After All (DVD) – An animated 16 minute short film broken into two segments of a possible post-apocalyptic Pittsburgh. The first one is about a person who just recently woke up in this new wasteland only to find out they might be the last human alive. The second segment is an odd pair wandering the wasteland. I would love to say I enjoyed it but to me it felt incomplete? But also I am not a huge animation guy so I could be missing something as I give this 1 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Bed & Breakfast (Blu-ray) – Entry #85 literally goes in a direction I am surprised it took this long to get too? This entry into the series has two brothers buying the haunted property cheap because of unpaid taxes. Their challenge for their streaming house flipping show is to fix up the property to make it a bed and breakfast to help the community get rid of the so-called bad PR the house has had since the original murders. As the Beaver brothers progress into the project and weird things begin to happen immediately they learn through some documents that everything might not be supernatural? The Beaver brothers struggle to deal with the so-called fixer upper as the crew keeps disappearing and cash runs low but they get through it all to accomplish their task in this very entertaining entry into the series as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Easter (Blu-ray) – Oh entry #86 into the Amityville series goes in the weird but not totally unexpected direction as a group of influencers head to the Amityville estate at the edge of the Amityville community for an interview with a famous widow that could mean more subscribers and money for them. The property besides being owned by a widow was also the site of a famous murder by a deranged half bunny/half human killer. The influencers were only allowed to be present on the property if they would agree to the widow’s terms and all their equipment was turned over to the butler when they arrived but this group is desperate for content. As they spend the night there things immediately get weird for the influencers from seeing the widow looking very sexual (best way to describe it) and the female influencers made to do an easter egg hunt? All this just for an interview that is believed to be a big pay day unless the half bunny/half human can stop killing them all. This project has its moments and I give it kudos for just being odd from the start so if you need to see a rather weird entry into the series? Look no further as I believe this would be way better to watch with a group as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments or questions you can send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net 

Gross Movie Reviews #684

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Baron Morbid’s Basement of Mediocrity (DVD) – A horror host and his assistant had been doing this show for a while as they decide to show their own feature… ‘Spawn of Sasquatch’. They put together two of Douglas Waltz’s features for a fun picture shown in edited form. Something that used to be done years ago at the drive-in, etc., but they get into that during introduction. They smash the titles ‘Gingersquatch’ (which is quality viewing by the way) and (I believe) ‘Infinite Clown War’ or thirty minutes or so of each project together to make one film for a hilarious combo for their show. Think public access show feel and its tongue-in-cheek process is throwback random stuff I would find in the early 90s on late night cable as I gotta give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars for the effort but also because I am a huge fan of ‘Gingersquatch’!

Scream Test (Blu-ray) – Another horror project done in 2020 that starred Felissa Rose as Angie a popular actress who happens to damage her vocal chords on the set of an independent horror film. She is advised in getting as much rest as possible so her and her manager head to an island to heal up from her aliment. Small but a great resort island for the select few soon find themselves lining up to be killed one by one but the murders are playing out like scenes from Angie’s past features. The premise is pretty cool but this has that awkward feel from beginning to end that it was shot during COVID where everyone was uncertain what would, could be done, or should be, etc. Maybe done two years before this time we might be talking of this being some kind of direct-to-video gem but its awkwardness is what holds this project back. I only give it 2 stars but glad it’s finally available for horror fans to seek out.

Metalheads: The Good, The Bad, The Evil (DVD) – A Bill Zebub flick from 2008 where he writes, directs, and edits of course where his character Bill is kind of dumped by his girlfriend Elaine because he is always jobless! Elaine and Bill see things differently of course in their relationship especially after doing acid which sounded like a great idea to Elaine which takes up a large chunk of the film. It comes down to Elaine wanting more, believing she deserves more or at least someone better than Bill who is worried about himself more than anything else. For me this project had great music but a lot less plot than usual and that is saying something as I feel this film really doesn’t go anywhere other than promoting the cool music that is part of the soundtrack as I give it 1 out of 4 stars.

Rebirth (DVD) – This is a surprising 32 minute short film from a kid that plays every role in the film along with filming it all, very impressive! A young boy murders a friend then commits suicide after the event only to be found quickly by a neighbor. Five years pass before a person performs a ritual for the purpose to bring the young killer back to life. The killer awakes to slaughter all who are about to party in his old home. By no means is this project beyond wonderful but the kid who made it , Ben Gaudet was awesome putting this all together and makes it work. Hell I believe many people twice if not three times older could learn from this rough but fantastic independent project I gotta give 2 ½ out of 4 stars.    

Ganjasaurus Rex (DVD-R) – WTF Rutger Hauer is this project? In 1987 someone made only one feature ever in their life and it was this… A group of friends have a magically weed seed to grow amazing weed in the California mountains. Problem is the authorities are cracking down on weed growers (much weed raids from news coverage) Because of all the weed raids it seems a legendary dinosaur is chasing down this magical tree while haunting the North Coast of California sort of. The movie is completely absurd and batshit as how this didn’t become a cult classic as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Atomic Gorilla A Go-Go! (DVD) – A 60 minute feature from Douglas Waltz that made me laugh out loud quite a few times but also works as a cult thing from the past that is hard to explain to younger movie viewers. But a random gorilla is abducted by aliens as it doesn’t take long for it to escape their clutches as in return gains special powers that includes the gorilla getting laid even after being radioactive! When the gorilla isn’t being hunted by a bounty hunter the gorilla has some weird visions of an old dude whispering things to him. It was one of those train wrecks that viewers will find themselves unable to turn away while watching as for that I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Void (YouTube) – Yes folks we have made it to entry #69 in the series where this entry shouldn’t be taken lightly as if it wasn’t called “Amityville” I feel horror fans would have been sharing this film on YouTube more? But anyway three young brothers in this no budget found footage feature do a paranormal show decide to enter the Amityville house (no it’s not the real house and shame on some of yinz acting surprised in the comments of their YouTube channel and giving them crap). This no budget feature has the three brothers investigating and quickly finding strange things happening. Intrigued by their findings they want to keep going until they have made contact with the presence in the house, problem is the results are tragic for the three. Again if this wasn’t an Amityville title I could see the younger crowd trying to make this project go viral. If anything, we all should enjoy what was accomplished here and keep an eye out for more features from the group as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Ed Kemper (Tubi) – Movie is based on a true story of a serial killer named Ed Kemper from the early 70s that I never heard of but became quite intrigued after watching said movie. After killing his grandparents in the 60s he was released as an adult five years after saying he would be “completely fine adjusting to the world again”. Kemper at an early age claimed to be abused by his mother and constantly blames her for his murdering ways. Even after his release he went back to live with his mother who only escalated Ed’s sinister need to kill women. Kemper kept upping the ante with each murder as he took pictures of his work to look over later. The effects were kick ass, this serial killer was scary as shit knowing he existed, and they casted a really good look-a-like for this as I give the film 3 stars.

Savage Christmas (DVD) – An independent film from about a dozen years ago or so where a group of college aged people head out to the middle of nowhere for the Christmas holiday to a Bed and Breakfast joint of sorts. After making a quick stop at a crime scene as we all do one of them picks up an amulet that got a film crew slaughtered by a demonic presence! The creature uses this amulet to possess and kill inside the vacation spot during the holiday causing a large bloodbath all in the search for a virgin. The evil seems to be winning until dirty Santa Claus dude shows up to help what is left of the group to survive the X-mas nightmare. It looks fun, it feels fun, but seems to lose its way closer it got to the ending as I give this small project 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #678

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Saurians (DVD) – Old school early 90s Mark Polonia project about dinosaurs running amok! In Fossil Valley a controlled explosion at a construction site opens a hole in the side of a mountain where two dinosaurs are discovered and not long before the ancient creatures take a stroll. Archeological students are out in the woods looking for fossils to begin with because it is called “Fossil Valley” until they are being stalked by the things! Meanwhile we get a hunter character whose offered $100,000 to bring back one these creatures before they destroy everything. It’s a fun corny time that includes Mark Polonia pulling a stick of dynamite out of his butt to defeat the T. Rex as this feature deserves 2 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Sasquatch vs. Kreppy Klown (DVD) – Entry #67 in the series comes from a newer name in the Indie scene that did me a solid several years ago by making the feature ‘Gingersquatch’ which was hilarious. Now this kind gentleman has decided to go the odd way of “$5 Kickstarter” to make the project. Whether it’s a success or not is in the eye of the beholder but this was a very interesting way of making an Amityville film that literally consisted of Sasquatch going into the Amityville house becoming possessed, then attacks a naked woman, while a Kreepy Klown which is an experiment that stalks the woods for victims, also while you get a full 16 minutes of Mr. Douglas Waltz building a tent, and did I mention Sasquatch gets caught jerking off before he faces off with Kreepy Klown in a parking lot! Again, a very interesting way of going about making an ‘Amityville’ flick as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Flesh of the Unforgiven (Vimeo) – This stylistic film that has high value for not much budget involves Sienna and Jack, a couple who have had some recent marriage issues decide to head to a cabin that looks like the perfect winter scene. Sienna wants to make up for her mistakes as Jack is under pressure by his boss to get something written or he is fired. Things begin to change slowly for both as Jack receives an odd VHS tape called ‘Violent Love’ and a paper that simples states “Inspiration”. Both struggle to be in the same room at times with each other but both are witnessing the same thing but in different ways as Sienna has nightmares of someone named “The Death Dealer”, Jack becomes obsessed with the VHS tape that has a snuff tape feel but cannot look away. With two strong performances from the legendary Debbie Rochon and Joe Hollow it lends to the story telling like a little sleazy thriller from an alternate reality. This is almost like a lost film from the early 2000s that I feel Indie fans will quite enjoy watching as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Holy Moly (DVD) – A 40 minute SOV film from the early 90s that involves a priest who is proud of what he does but becomes haunted by an evil mysterious individual he encounters in an alley way. This evil figure claims he will make “Holy” (the nickname for the priest) to murder someone. Holy doesn’t believe in this but after the meeting he seems to be slowly possessed by a demonic force that forces him to kill a good friend. If that wasn’t enough for the priest he does get killed by “ANAL FISTING”… Still with me as I give this lost film 2 out of 4 stars.

Four Nights in Fear Forest (Tubi) – Mark Polonia throws his hat in the ring of giving a small budget version of ‘Five Nights of Freddy’ a try where a tragic event during Halloween 1995 causes a horror attraction to shut down. Mr. Bones’ animatronics Mummy, The Bride, Dracula, and the Wolf Man supposedly attacked people? Now present day, four convicts with a special program allows convicts to defer their fines and lower prison sentences have been brought to the site to help Mr. Bones clean up. This cleanup is to allow the boardwalk to expand with newer, better things as Mr. Bones constantly reminisces about his animatronics wonders. They have four nights to do the work but after a stormy night lightning brings the monsters to life as they look to kill the convicts one by one. An entertaining cheeseball movie where Jeff Kirkendall as Mr. Bones steals the show as I say give this a try folks as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!