Gross Movie Reviews #583

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Bad Ass Monster Killer (DVD) – For this Indy exploitation we have Jimmy who is a part of some kind of secret government Supernatural security that is trying to keep the streets safe form the unnatural. There is some black magic, demons, strip clubs, gangs of supernatural beings and CG effects that are the background of the film throughout. I enjoyed the passion put into the project but the film felt like there was something missing and it went too long. I felt this would have made a much better impact if it ran maybe like a short film (25 minutes) but I still enjoyed it as I give it 2 stars.

Scary Story Slumber Party (DVD) – Say that title several times in a row! Anyway three young women are watching a lame film and decide to turn off the TV and tell each other scary stories. Several stories are told and most are quick little flicks that I am sure some of yinz will enjoy but nothing stands out where you’ll be talking about it in six weeks. A solid collection of independent short films but would have liked more be done with the wrap around starring the three young women telling the stories. If you are into anthologies it will most likely appeal to you as I give it 2 ½ stars.

In Search of Darkness: Part II (Shudder) – The sequel to one of the most talked about documentaries the past few years where they dive deeper into the 80s to make horror fan’s wet dreams come true. Lots of interviews, fun facts, and why we are all so fascinated with 80s horror films as I give this 4 ½ hour epic 4 stars!

Hi-Death (DVD) – A sequel anthology to the popular independent project “Hi-8” that has Todd Sheets, Brad Sykes, Tim Ritter, Amanda Payton, Anthony Catanese all back with new short film installments. This time around to keep the films rolling you have two young ladies in Hollywood who decide to do the “Terror Tour”… The first two stories are slow but stick it out folks because the last three: ‘Night Drop’ is a lot of fun, ‘Cold Read’ ups the intensity, and Todd Sheets ‘The Muse’ is just pure wicked weirdness that Indy horror fans will be so happy with as I give the anthology 2 ½ stars.

Subsurface (YouTube) – A slick short film from writer Kyle Patrick about a young man who is trapped in his own mind and may see a sliver of light at the end of the tunnel? What’s funny this short film has an intriguing look and feel that I believe you could have ten different critics watch and review and get ten completely different takes on this. So Kyle I would say you have accomplished your goal with this project as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars as you leave me intrigued what is next for you.

Satan’s Little Helper (Blu-ray) – Synapse Films is at it again digging around for a horror film that may have never gotten its due during its original release. Jeff Lieberman  a horror fan favorite over the years unleashed this little Halloween horror in the early 2000s and since then has gathered a little cult following. The Halloween story revolves around a boy who loves his video game “Satan’s Little Helper” and dresses as the helper for Halloween eagerly awaiting his sister for trick or treating. Upset over the sister bringing a young man home the young boy ventures into the neighborhood to witness someone decorating a home with what looks like very real props. Unknown to the boy this man is a serial killer who has just finished up and likes to pose his victims. The boy being naïve believes it is Satan just like his video game and scoring points killing real people on his favorite day of the year Halloween! Satan and the boy become quick friends and give the film an awkward quirkiness as the boy takes Satan home as the story just gets a little odder from there. Remember Douglas the young boy, believes this is all part of the game until his father is gutted in front of him by this Satan character. An entertaining oddity of Halloween horror that fans are still discovering that has an ending makes you want the sequel that doesn’t exist. The Blu-ray extras has a commentary with Jeff Lieberman, tour of the filming locations, behind-the-scenes, and a making of segment which has a recent interview with Jeff Lieberman that is some entertaining stuff for the horror fans to eat up as I give this fun little Halloween package 3 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find it at www.synapse-films.com .

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #582

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L.A. Aids Jabber (Blu-ray) – A rare 1994 S.O.V. flick that some may know only as “Jabber” has been finally released uncut for independent film fans and packed with some interesting goodies for all to enjoy. Our story begins with a young man named Jeff Roberts who has been told he has contracted the disease AIDS. Not happy with the news of course, Jeff thinks suicide but after confronted by a social worker Jeff rethinks his death sentence? Tired, depressed, and jobless Jeff goes in a different direction with this news and makes a hit list of people he always felt done him wrong. So he figures why not and fills a syringe of his tainted blood so he can infect those on his hit list with it! Meanwhile, we have a couple of cops who are investigating the assaults and being told to keep this quiet so there isn’t major mass panic in the city. The film is gritty, grimey, touches on an uncomfortable subject (the fears of it) and how it was treated at that time, and has a great screwed up ending that will make this film the gem of the year for some and others not care for the subject matter. This film dealt with some uncomfortable stuff that I believe people still have a hard time today dealing with or talking about today which makes this an excellent weird flick to throw at someone when they say, “they have seen everything” as I give it 3 stars.

Cover-Up (DVD) – A 1991 action film that stars Dolph Lundgren as a journalist named Anderson who is covering a bombing at a U.S. Navy Base in Israel. Anderson believes there is a lot more to this story as he investigates and believes what he sees is not the whole story? Anderson having a couple of friends there in Tel Aviv tries to get what info he can get out of them but a high ranking military officer played by Louis Gossett, Jr.is stonewalling Anderson as everything is being blamed on a terrorist group “Black October”. The deeper Anderson gets the more of a scapegoat he is going to become as the military tries to keep quiet about a top secret package being retrieved from the base. But with it all being about starting a new war everyone is getting screwed over as long as its covered up what the original intention was? A fun back and forth action film that plays out more like a thriller in the end as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Sakura Killers (DVD) – Chuck Connors collecting a paycheck sends two Americans overseas to fight some ninjas! This is all because the ninjas in Japan have supposedly stolen a videotape on genetic testing that could change the scientific world? But these two Americans do not have the proper training to ensure their win in said fight with the ninjas so they must visit “The Ninja Master”… If this thing wasn’t finished in 1986 or before Dan Komarek was born I would swear he wrote this terribly absurd 80s ninja flick even the hardcore ninja movie lovers are going to have a tough time sitting through as I give it 1 star.

Wise Blood (DVD) – This 1979 oddity is from earlier in Brad Dourif’s career where I remember seeing a few pictures of his character in the movie but could never find the movie itself. Well recently one day just going through some movies that might interest me through some of the streaming sites I came across a listing for the film to play on a cable channel as it has been rereleased. Set I the late 70s where Hazel Motes comes back to his small town after a stint in the military only to find family and most of the town has moved to the big city. Not wanting to embrace his father’s preaching past Hazel decides he has found his calling preaching about the church without Christ? Nowhere near a horror movie but another example of why Brad Dourif is such a wonderful and interesting actor as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Amityville Christmas Vacation (www.stevebuster.com) – That famous holiday/horror/love story plot has finally come to the Amityville series (entry #39 for those who are counting) in the form of Steve Rudzinski’s (Caroushell 1 & 2 fame) latest project. A familiar character from the “Steve Universe or Meowy Universe” in the form of Wally Griswold has won a random Christmas vacation trip to Amityville! Wally arrives at a bed and breakfast in Amityville that is the “second most famous haunted house” where a ghost named Jessica kills all who stay there. But this time it’s different as it the happiest time of the year, it is Christmas! And Wally and Jessica are having the time of their lives this holiday season. But there is an evil plan behind all of this and none of it had a ghost and a clueless detective falling in love in Amityville on Christmas? Move over Mark Polonia, Dustin Ferguson, Thomas J. Churchill, and Shawn C. Phillips just to name a few as Steve gives not just an entertaining entry into the endless series but hilarious entertaining energy of a story that will make you laugh out loud a few times. Steve’s intelligence behind the camera and his extremely talented cast not just poke fun at the series but also give the never dying series a watchable entry for the first time in several years as I have to give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.     

The Kindred (Blu-ray) – This is one of those forgotten horror films of the 80s as it focused on a cool creature instead of a killer in a hockey mask. A great monster flick with a great VHS cover that was released in 1987 that I had a great fondness for as it was available in all the video stores during those few years but as the video stores disappeared so did finding this film. Now thank you to Synapse Films we get to see this remastered uncut version. This interesting monster story begins with Dr. Hollins, an older scientist who had a heart attack. Her son John who also is a scientist runs to her bed side only to be asked to go back to his childhood home and burn all the evidence of her experiments and Anthony…? The brother he never knew about. John and a few friends head to his mother’s home to find out her retirement have been busy and she dived deep into human hybrid experimentation and beyond. An old partner of hers, Dr. Lloyd wants in on the new discovery of what she was able to accomplish because he was banished by Hollins many years ago for his atrocities. Now John knowing Dr. Lloyd’s real intentions is trying to destroy what his mother worked for during her life as the human race is not ready. The movie looks wonderful but the biggie for this version is definitely the creature effects as we finally get to see Anthony in all his colorful glory for the first time compared to past VHS versions of this film. We also get a great documentary about how the film got made, never before seen behind the scenes creature effects, and a commentary. Most of all this great film finally got the treatment it deserved and just in time for a new generation of horror fans to discover a beautifully designed creature film that got lost in the shuffle of slashers at the time of its release as without no doubt this gets 4 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com .

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

The Bloodbaths and Boomsticks finally releases another three episodes

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This week we all come back to the table to discuss 3 more flicks and out weekly Amityville movie.  First Kyle picks a flick he has never seen just to find out why Chuck Norris refuses to bathe and has sex with ladies in mud puddles in LONE WOLF MCQUADE.  The John covers the weirdo South American super hero flick PUMAMAN and we all wonder why Donald Pleasence can’t pronounce the word Puma. And finally Tim picks a sequel of a movie we all hated the first time around in WORMWOOD: APOCALYPSE.  All this and we answer your listener questions, read the news, and go over what we have been watching in the past week.  So download this episode or we will bury you in the dirt inside your Ford Bronco.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we gather again to discuss more movies.  And this week we have some real weird ones.  First it’s DOCTOR STRANGE… only it’s the made for TV. movie from 1978.  Then Tim talks about cats… and Donald Pleasence… and Peter Cushing… and some more cats in THE UNCANNY.  And finally a real gem from the last couple years (or at least Kyle thinks so) in MALIGNANT.  Oh, and we also have Eric Roberts in an Amityville movie or whatever.  We also do the norm of answering your listener questions.  Recapping the movie watching habits of the past week, and reading the news.  So, download this episode or Bootleg Doctor Strange will turn back time and slap your little baby face.  

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we have a doozy of a show.  First we have kids in a bucket, skull fucking, and umbrella fu in one grizzly, gnarly, take no prisoners gut punch of a movie in THE SADNESS.  The Tim talks about a serial killer targeting a group of kids in suburbia in SUMMER OF 84.  Then Kyle talks about some kids in suburbia jacking around with a samurai sword in SUPER DARK TIMES.  We also chat about what we have been watching, the weekly movie news, and we also answer your listener questions.  So download this episode or your kids will hate you.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #581

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The Veil (DVD) – Didn’t hear much about this Jessica Alba and Thomas Jane flick which I believe is under the Blumhouse Pictures umbrella? Usually that is never good when it comes to some of these bigger budgeted horror flicks as this one involves a lone survivor of a suicide cult heads back to where it happened 25 years later with a film crew doing a documentary on it. Kind of boring and pretty much looked like a lot of the exorcism films that were flooding the genre at the time as I give it 1 star.

Dead Tone (DVD) – A 2007 horror film that was a part of the quick and forgettable “Flavor Flav’s Nite Tales” series… but let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. The story begins with a bunch of kids at a sleepover while the adults are partying decide to have fun by ‘crank calling people’. This is what was thought to be a fun event leads to a mysterious individual showing up to the home and rampaging through almost everyone with an ax! About a decade or so later the movie leads to a couple of college students heading to an “end of the semester” party and that means party games. The crank call game is called “75”, you got to keep whoever on the other line for 75 seconds and make them believe whatever you say is truly going on. Once again the murderer is back slaughtering college students to add to the body count while an old grizzled detective played by Rutger Hauer who was in on the original murders believes the cold case needs fresh eyes and answers as he investigates. Not original but a little spin on an old idea with a big body count and having Rutger Hauer makes this a pleasant surprise when looking for some horror titles you may not know about as I give the film 3 stars.

I Was A Teenage Zombie (DVD) – A low budget film that many don’t remember from 1987 aka “Atomic Thrill” but will most likely enjoy it if they see it now as it embodied what a Troma film was at the time and for some odd reason it isn’t a Troma flick. School buddies wanting weed for their spring high school dance screw up and kill their new drug supplier. So to cover it up they throw him into the river that has had a recent toxic spill. Thinking everything is good the small time drug lord is now a zombie and coming for revenge against the high schoolers. When they fail to capture or kill the zombie they come up with a better idea after one of their best friends die… Throw him into the river so they can fight a zombie with a zombie. Hilarious from beginning to end and would not be surprised that one of the companies is working on a Blu-ray release as I give it 3 stars?   

Blood Rush: DNA (DVD) – An uneventful 1998 film I believe was possibly an Aussie flick that got released in Japan? The whole point of the film is two groups of people competing in a four day event called “Adrenaline Fest” but also heard it called “Survival Fest” about halfway through the film. Anyhow these two groups of folks race over rough mountainous jungle terrain only to come face to face with a Power Rangers extra. The colorful oversized Luchador begins to quickly dispatch the competitors in this lame creature flick that I give a ½ stars too.

Beyond the Rising Moon (DVD) – Another unknown sci-fi film from the early 90s that has been rereleased under the title “Outerworld”. It’s the future of course and a woman cyborg who just happened to be the perfect creation has decided on its own to stop being a corporate spy and keep the secret info about a wrecked alien ship on another planet that several corporations would love to lay claim too. She is a product of corporate warfare and her handler has pushed the button to make her head explode in three days. Now it’s a race between the handler and the cyborg and her new companion who is just trying to make a few bucks to transport through space to find this ship. Think of a much lower budgeted and even less interesting version of “Johnny Mnemonic” but may have been released before it??? Either way I can only give this film 1 star.

Boris Karloff: The Man behind the Monster (Shudder) – A very in-depth look into the Hollywood life of an iconic figure who I believe his presence only has grown since his death many years ago and that is Boris Karloff. It just doesn’t just cover the usual suspect in “Frankenstein” but goes through his life and his thoughts of his legacy and how he reinvented himself so late into his career because he was that talented. Since I first could say this man’s name I am still finding films with him in it and respect him more and more with each passing day. This is a must watch for any type of horror movie and monster film fan and believe me if you never had an appreciation for Karloff before you will now as I give this documentary 4 stars.

The Found Footage Phenomenon (Shudder) – I am not a huge found footage film fan but this film interest me as they track down a lot of people involved with found footage films and do some great in-depth interviews. The formula, who made them, why so many suck out loud, and breaking down the technology that may have helped one or two along? Again not a fan of found footage stuff but this is a real interesting film for any independent filmmaker that is about to try bringing their project to life… Good stuff here and enjoyed this more than I thought I would as I give it 3 ½ stars.

X (DVD) – One of the most talked about horror films of 2022 and me of course being late to the party because I am busy watching everything else that nobody else pays attention too. We get a great opening 90 seconds that lets the viewer they could be in for a treat? Set in the late 70s (believe the movie clapper said 1979) where a small film crew heads to an unknown old farmhouse where they are renting it for their porn shoot. The plan is to give tasteful porn for the upcoming home video market. Things seem to go great and until the old people renting the place are horny and distant relatives of Leatherface! There is a lot of buildup and a good bit of dialogue (including a great inner discussion of doing porn and how it was looked upon at that time) but stick with it as the film does payoff. Nothing that is going to blow your doors off but a fun little twist to a story that has been told many ways over the years as I give it 3 stars. Lesson: always beware of lonely old creepy people!

Suburban Sasquatch (Blu-ray) – A cult status kind of S.O.V. flick from 2004 that has a pissed off Bigfoot fucking people up in small-town (Woodstown), Pa. Plain and simple Sasquatch goes on a killing spree and a reporter trying to get the story decides he must help out a Native American warrior to bring down the mystical creature. It is the responsibility of some tribes to always keep Sasquatch in check over hundreds of years. This horrible movie is downright hilarious between dialogue, the acting, but what does it for me is the absolute bad CGI that will make you laugh for days. I understand why this film is gaining the cult status it has and this new Blu-ray has all the extras independent fans have wanted and will enjoy as I give this fun film 3 stars. The only thing I didn’t get was how in the hell this film go 100 minutes?

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest-o-ween is coming soon!

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Hey Grossfest fans it won’t be long before Saturday, October 29th, 2022 rolls around and we are having another outdoor event that features filmmakers, artists, and authors!

First, THE EVENT IS FREE TO THOSE ATTENDING.

Second, vendors remember we have limited space and they are going fast. 10X10 space, you bring the table, chairs, and canopy tent and its $25 for the space. (Yes, we will be around to help set you up.) You can go to www.grossfest.com and click on the link there to get a vendor agreement and pay, or just contact the famous actor Tom Gross on Facebook, or contact grossfest@gmail.com. (Reminder, you must have a signed vendor agreement to come set up.) Set up is 9 to 10:59am that morning. It is a parking lot, let’s keep this simple my friends.

Third, sorry folks no movies are playing (when we do a bigger Grossfest there will be movies) but you will be able to go onto the patio and meet our two special Grossfest guests in Maddie Deering and Steve Rudzinski. They are two of the most talented young independent filmmakers in the Western, Pa. area and their recent projects are making a lot of waves in the independent world so meet them before they go Hollywood!!!

Fourth and most important, because the show is free, all we ask in return besides visiting, supporting, and networking with all the great vendors please walk inside the bar/restaurant Willow Station: have a drink, sample the awesome food, support a great local place who puts up with our CHAOS called Grossfest, and meet some new friends there.

Questions… I honestly hope this answers it all if not contact me and the famous actor Tom Gross on Facebook or through grossfest@gmail.com again. We thank yinz for your support and come out to support some cool people on a very festival weekend!

October 29th, 2022, Saturday, 11-4pm

Willow Station

3841 Willow Ave.

Castle Shannon, PA 15234

Back Parking lot

(The event is sponsored by Willow Station Bar/Restaurant)

Also go towww.stevebuster.com, www.silverspotlightfilms.com, www.facebook.com/NekroSharkFilms, www.grossfest.com , and www.thewillowstation.com for details, menus, or just to support some cool ass people!

Gross Movie Reviews #580

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Class of 1999 (Blu-ray) – Time for a revisit as this film got a very cool “Vestron Blu-ray release”. It’s the future and schools have gone to hell… Remember the film was released in 1989/1990. But imagine if “Escape from New York” took over a school and its surrounding community. Gangs have taken over everything and the school system is looking for answers in what to do next and Bob Forest played by Stacey Keach has an answer. He introduces the principal (Malcolm McDowell) of this high school to three new teachers played by Pam Grier, Patrick Kilpatrick, and John P. Ryan and they just happen to be androids! Androids built for the ten year war in South America and funded by the Department of Defense. Meanwhile, Cody has just been released from prison and just wants his old gang to leave him alone so he can attend class and not do hard time. Soon Cody’s curiosity gets the best of him when one of the teachers kills a student when a gun is pulled. He learns they are androids and they are beginning to do what they were built for and that is to kill in this awesome Sci-fi action/horror flick. The film is a sequel to “Class of 1984” but not many give two shits about that as it stands on its own with the wonderful cast, cool effects, and crazy storyline… These days the storyline isn’t too far fetch as I give this cool film 3 ½ stars, but there is more. Great commentary from filmmaker Mark Lester, lots of fun interviews with those behind the scenes on this great film and you get to learn info like this film killed Vestron! Actually it didn’t but apparently after this film went into production Vestron had all kinds of issues. I love it as this film always holds a fun cheesy spot in my heart.

The Banker (DVD) – I knew this film had some quality to it as soon as our introduction to Robert Forster’s character Detective Jefferson is living in a treehouse with beer cans falling out of it. There are brutal murders of high priced escorts happening and South American symbols are being left at the scene of the crime. It doesn’t take long for Jefferson to figure things out but he cannot arrest the high-end financial advisor Osborne aka Dracula from The Monster Squad! It is Osborne’s belief that this culture he found and follows is all about “Domination of women and the return of the hunter” or I like to bill this film ‘that guy that killed a giant alligator vs. Dracula from Monster Squad’. Is it the best of the serial killer films, no way, is it fun if you look at it the way I do, yes, and for that I give it 2 ½ stars. Oh if needed there is five sex scenes in this that would make “Red Shoe Diaries” blush with one including of my favorite porn stars Teri Weigel!

Trash Removal (DVD) – Rising star Indy filmmaker Maddie Deering has had her latest released onto an anthology “Natasha Nighty’s Boudoir of Blood 2”. This fun short film has a group of individuals picking up trash in the woods near by an old chemical spill for community service. It doesn’t take too long for this boring day of community service to be interrupted by a killer trash monster! Hilarious characters get destroyed quickly by the cheeseball monster which this short film easily feels like a lost SOV title you would find on the dusty shelves of your favorite independent video store ‘insert name here’ in 1992 next to a “Cannibal Campout” or “The Slayer” where alphabetical order didn’t matter like in the one I went at that time! Fun times with Maddie as I give 3 out of 4 stars for this project that can be found on “Natasha Nighty’s Boudoir of Blood 2” at www.sovhorror.com .

Day Shift (Netflix) – A solid action/vampire flick starring Jamie Fox as Bud Jablonski pool cleaner aka vampire hunter. Kicked out of the hunter union Bud is forced to take what he can get for vampire teeth. Problem his daughter needs braces and tuition for that private school she attends and he begs for one more chance to be in the union because that is where the money is. Shitty villain… but lots of fun characters that include Scott Adkins and Snoop Dog as the most respected vampire hunter and ladies’ man in town which helps the film get over its shortcomings as I give it 3 stars.

Misty Darkness (DVD) – A lost Todd Sheets project from 1987 or 1988 who really knows but it has finally gotten its release. Honestly this is one of the first films listed that Todd Sheets made and from the get go it is clear this is the late 80s with the various clothes, parking that is cheap in the background, and the cars you couldn’t fake on any budget. Anyhow, a group of so-called friends or people Todd knew at the time head into a haunted attraction called “Misty Darkness” for a night of scares. Doesn’t take long for the group to be slaughtered and turned into zombies to do the bidding of a demon that has locked the group inside. The demonic presence sports a leather jacket, a sword, and looks like a young bootleg version of 42nd Street Pete! If you are an SOV fan you’ll love seeing a young Todd Sheets and will want to own this gem as the DVD does have a commentary and a quick behind the scenes segment as I give the film 2 out of 4 stars.

Glorious (Shudder) – In the vein of finding horror films that have no right being this good I dare you to go watch what I believe will be in my “Top 5 films of 2022”. We are given the character Wes who is in a bad place in his life after a break up with the girlfriend. Confused, depressed, partying around a fire by himself at a rest stop off the highway, (I enjoyed the scene of him breaking his cell phone). Next morning Wes heads into the bathroom to take care of things which after he finds himself talking to an evil glory hole! Here Wes and a god try to hash things out about saving the world as we know it. The movie is so simple and fun you will be surprised how much you will enjoy this very smart horror film as I give it 4 stars all the way!

The Pursuit of D.B. Cooper (DVD) – A what if after the event of D.B. Cooper jumping out of the airplane over Colorado with $200,000 one November day 1971. A mystery that has fascinated people since it happened got a movie ten years after in 1981 with a great cast that had Treat Williams as Cooper who after landing in the mountains goes back to his wife. From there he convinces her to run to Mexico and enjoy life but Cooper’s former military commander now insurance man is hot on his trail. A fun early 80s cat and mouse flick that would be great if you double feature it with “Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper” and just check your brain at the door for some fiction injected into the mystery as I give it 2 stars.

We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (DVD) – A film that literally has a webcam recording a lonely teenager Casey who takes an online challenge and documents or believes some changes are happening? What helps feed into her believing something is happening is her conversations through Skype with creepy dude about the history of this challenge and his so-called concern. Now saying that honestly folks this film wasn’t made for me as it isn’t terrible or great. The film’s shelf life has up already! Folks all this film is something that you could do in 30 seconds of just randomly watching or falling down a wormhole on YouTube. To me this film isn’t special; I mean people did yinz all forget “Slenderman” or the hundreds or thousands of other internet challenges stupid people have paid way too close attention too? Also this film is literally made for the 13-17 age group which you immediately lost as soon as they click on a different app, start texting, etc. So when it comes down to it this project falls into the category “was it an actual film?” Movie watchers if you are looking for something actually creepy and I think still relevant I give you two words, “Hard Candy”. Enjoy being uncomfortable… in the meantime I give this film zero stars.

Trepanator (DVD) – Need more ‘Re-animator’ in your life? I give you this 1992 French horror rip-off where Dr. Herbert East takes over where his father left off years ago doing experiments with human brain transplants. After a young boy is ripped from his father’s hands years ago and sent to the U.S. he grows up to be Dr. Herbert East where he is trying to make his experiments a success in order to help pay his uncle’s debts for the clinic. Herbert East’s biggest issue is rejection, if he can conquer this then the experiments will be a complete success including a small “Maniac Cop” rip-off. A bloody hilarious rip-off as I give this horror experiment 2 ½ stars.

The Last of Sheila (DVD) – A feature film that is a murder/mystery from 1973 that if you are looking for something to cleanse your film watching brain is absolutely brilliant. Apparently the story of this film comes from one of the writers Anthony Perkins… yes that one who said their scavenger hunts and games him and other celebs played in the late 60s and early 70s inspired this project. The film is littered with 70s star power! But our film begins with Sheila, a beautiful woman who rushes out of a party one night after an argument. She has the misfortune being a part of a deadly hit and run. One year later her husband Clinton (James Coburn) being a twisted son of a bitch gathers friends and people who he is going to have in a film about his wife on his yacht for a week of games and partying. All involved have their own backstory and part of the game they are playing each night taps into that. Each night there will be a different quest and each will learn a new clue or secret about each other but about halfway through the film their host Clinton is murdered and adds a whole new layer to the mystery. If you are a fan of “Clue” the game or film you’ll wanna grab the popcorn and lay your eyes on this older feature because it is laid out wonderfully as a great “Who dun it?” A great way to spend a rainy night for two hours as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #579

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Shark Encounters of the Third Kind (DVD) – Mark Polonia and his scuba diving stock footage is back to haunt audiences with another killer shark film that pretty much fails to be a fun shark flick. In this mess, big headed aliens have entered the earth’s atmosphere to clean up a past mess. The film not played for laughs is mainly about the aliens fucking with sharks and past alien abductees… Next time Mark do fans a favor go make another “Feeders” film instead of what? FIVE SHARK FILMS in two years that has stock scuba diving footage, the same actors and characters, and maybe 60 minutes of actual film between five movies that possibly has been splice together? Not to be critical or anything as I give this shark film 1 star.

Python Island (DVD) – I am not me unless I stumble upon a giant snake film from China that has alternate title of “Giant Snake”. The film sets the tone with a child getting lost on ‘Cannibal Island’ where the kid finds a magical tree that is protected by snakes. After being rescued and his village being ravaged by giant snakes years later the kid all grown up returns to the island with the right intentions to find a cure for his native island where they have been cursed with a mysterious illness. Lots of action, bad CGI snake effects, and people getting eaten keeps this interesting enough for weirdos like myself as I give it 2 stars.

The Devil Doll (DVD) – A 1936 Tod Browning film that is more of a thriller than horror than involves an escaped convict. A wrongly accused convict escapes with a partner from prison only to quickly inherit a secret that gets the man thinking of revenge on those who framed him? Using this certain power and costumes he is able to weave his way back into the lives of his old business partners. The film won’t blow you away in effects or what not but I found myself enjoying this character going to great lengths for revenge and making sure his daughter is well off as I give it 3 stars.

Starship (DVD) – Always looking for fun and dumb science fiction flicks so I give you this Aussie feature that is also known as “Lorca and the Outlaws”. The film is set on another distant planet where working conditions are shitty and an evil dude with an army of robots is trying to wipe out human rebels. There is a ship coming in from Earth and the rebels wanna use it to escape but the evil dude has other plans as he has been given orders to wipe out all human workers and replace them with robots. The movie can be a bit boring at times but I did enjoy finding another film that had Hugh Keays-Byrne in as hired gun to search for the great Lorca as I give the film 2 stars.

Amityville Cabin (YouTube) – So yes entry #38 for all of yinz counting is a short film that is available on YouTube about a no-budget film crew heading to a haunted cabin. Of course things go horribly quickly but not without the film crew basically winking back at the camera the whole time during this short film as I give 1 ½ out of 4 stars as I have seen much worse in this series.

The Barn II (Theater/rough cut) – Now understand horror fans the cut I and many others at the theater got to see is not a finished product. From what I know there is effects still being added, cuts needed still, and a couple corrections, the usual stuff but it is finally finished for us to all go enjoy. Anyway the lone survivor of events a couple years ago is off to college and in a sorority trying to help out with a fund raiser that just happens to be a haunted house or barn. As the small town folk struggle to get past the ban of Halloween being dropped people celebrate and head out in mass to the haunted attraction. But the demons/creatures seem to have some unfinished business and return. Lots of cameos that I wasn’t sure they were gonna work going in to see the film proved me wrong as I enjoyed seeing not only the big cameos but the smaller Indy cameos as they all a place in the film and didn’t feel forced. Without getting too much into as it being a sequel you Justin Seaman and crew wanted to make sure there is more monsters, blood, and Ari Lehman as I give the rough cut 3 out of 4 stars as this wraps up and gets me excited for what Justin and crew do in the future?

Bigfoot or Bust! (DVD) – A pretty recent Jim Wynorski film that has a group of women heading to the woods to look for Bigfoot (it is better you don’t ask why)! Their main task of doing this is shooting Bigfoot in the peen so they can get on T.V. and be relevant. Meanwhile there is also another group of women who come from 50 years in the future to find Bigfoot shit because it is worth millions in the future. Poor acting from the usual Wynorski acting staples, musical numbers, a trampoline (it is a dumb scene), lots of bad fake boobs, old T.V.s being thrown away illegally, and “The Good, The Bad, and The Bigfoot” skit litter this so-called film. Every time I watched hilarious garbage like this I do remind myself he made “Chopping Mall” as I give this 1 star for the mere reason the Bigfoot was actually entertaining.

Shark Side of the Moon (Tubi) – Asylum Entertainment has a new home to throw up new features since an unnamed network has become the ‘Harry Potter’ channel and that home is “Tubi”! So of course any crazy ass dumb shark film starts in 1984 Russia where the Russian scientists are experimenting with sharks and making them humanoid soldiers. The experiment gets loose and a couple scientists save the world by taking or sending the sharks to space depending how you look at it? Anyway 40 years have passed and NASA sends a crew to the moon to begin setting up for colonization of the moon. Sorry, nope, instead these astronauts find hybrid sharks who are surviving on the moon including populating it with plans to return to earth for world domination! But to the astronauts’ surprise they find the lone Russian scientist that knows about the experiment and a human/shark hybrid that is attempting to destroy all hybrid shark plans for world domination. I laughed a lot during this film for good and bad reasons but bottom line it was entertaining as I give it 2 ½ stars.  

Dead Zone (Tubi) – Jeff Fahey and Michael Jai-White star in a cheaper but possibly more entertaining version of the first “Resident Evil” film with special suits because the government is using dirty bombs to kill zombies as I give it 2 stars.

Mutant Blast (DVD) – This is one of those holy fuck gory post-apocalyptic zombie flicks out of Portugal where two survivors try to survive an onslaught of zombie chaos. One is military trained and stabs a lot of zombies in the skull, the other is some hung-over dude who happened to walk into this mess and eventually grows a rat out of his left hand that the rat’s mum comes looking for it eventually. If you enjoyed weird shit like “Bad Taste” and “Evil Aliens” this is your bag kids as I give it 3 stars.    

Massacre at Central High (Blu-ray) – This 1976 film always had that T.V. movie feel to me and it has never looked so wonderful than it does on this Synapse Films Blu-ray. A staple of early 80s cable for me and most likely many others as it was time to revisit this more than relevant film about high school students and write a new review. David is new to the high school and an old friend of Mark who David helped out a while back. Mark wants to introduce David to his clique as they get whatever they want. But it doesn’t take David long to know this small group are bullies and have bullied the whole school into submission. David tries to help out and walk that fine line of standing up to the bullies and defending those who have been bullied for a long time. But after an attempted rape by this clique and David beating them up they pay him a visit and cripple David. Now David just wants revenge, but there is one problem as he gets rid of the bullies, new ones pop up causing David to think bigger in ending this vicious circle of life. The film is over 45 years old and more relevant now than then and seeing it at a young age I may have never comprehend the movie’s subject matter? What makes this film great and David’s plotting relentless is the characters were perfectly casted (Andrew Stevens, Derrel Maury, Robert Carradine, Kimberly Beck, Ray Underwood, just to name a few), there is no adults getting in the way for most of the film, and most likely any person that has or will watch this film/Blu-ray know or have known one of these characters at this school in the film. Again it’s over 45 years old and the film still has realism to it. Along for the ride on the Blu-ray is some audio interviews, trailers, and a very cool documentary that if a fan of the film will have you ‘nerd’ out on who they got talking about the film? A pretty cool release for your physical media collection from Synapse Films as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars, for more details go to www.synapse-films.com .

River of Death (DVD) – Actually been looking for this Michael Dudikoff film for a while as it seem to be out of print until recently as it is popping up everywhere on streaming services and physical media. Our film begins in 1945 Germany where a series of events has a couple Nazis screwing each other over to escape capture or death but also to continue some evil Nazi experiments. Flash forward twenty years in the Amazon jungle Dudikoff (Hamilton) is guiding a doctor and his daughter through the jungle to find the source of a mysterious disease killing the natives. After getting captured and shot at Hamilton wants to go back as he believes he has found ‘The Lost City’ and that is where the doctor’s daughter was taken too. Problem, a lot of people are interested for their own selfish reasons including a Donald Pleasence he believes the Nazi doctor (Robert Vaughn) that screwed him over is alive and well! They all venture into the jungle to survive heat and cannibals to go find ‘The Lost City’. Dudikoff isn’t a ninja but this film was still damn entertaining as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #578

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Sharkula (DVD) – Mark Polonia is pooping out low budget shark movies left and right so it comes to no surprise when Dracula is forced off a cliff long ago and bitten by a shark in the ocean. Many moons later Dracula returns to the same area to run a place on the seaside called “The Basket O’Chum Restaurant and Marina” where he controls most of the coastal town. To help Dracula’s control he sacrifices poor souls to the ‘Sharkula’ as part of his pact with the sea devil. Honestly folks this is bad but I have to admit I laughed several times for the mere reason it is “Sharkula” as I give it 2 stars.

Helsinki Mansplaining Massacre (On Demand) – An interesting 15 minute short film concerning a couple who is in a car accident and rescued by a group of men. But rescued is used loosely here. These men’s egos bruise easily as they all believe men are superior and women are only good for housework and breeding. Now Essi is just trying to survive these morons and trying to escape a bad relationship. It’s hilarious, it’s fun, and relevant as I give it 3 stars.

Jill Rips (DVD/YouTube) – This 2000 Dolph Lundgren film is also known as “Jill the Ripper” on VHS that was also directed by Anthony Hickox. The film is set in 1977 Boston where headless tied up bodies of men are showing up around the city. Matt (Lundgren) is an ex-cop who left under odd circumstances and now is back as his brother was the first victim. Matt quickly finds himself out of his element as looking for the killer has him falling down a wormhole into kink and bondage he could never imagine. An interesting serial killer flick especially for Lundgren but as usual his underrated talented ass pulls off a great performance in a ‘not your usual serial killer flick’ that I have to give 2 ½ stars too.

One Night Stand (DVD) – Yes, I am a little obsessed with ‘end of the world flicks’… Can’t help it as I grew up during the 80s where a lot of those flicks got made. Anyway this 1984 Australian film takes place mostly in the Sydney Opera House where four people quickly become friends as the world might be ending as they know it outside? It is New Year’s Eve and news of a nuclear device going off nearby has all residents on standby as these four try to entertain themselves believing or at least holding out hope for everything to be better in the morning. The four try to make the best of it as a good bit of the film is how they interact with each other and watch how they look back at what is left of their young lives. The film is a bit dramatic but has a really terrifying ending that I think still works today as society keeps pushing for extinction as I give this film 3 stars. If anything the film is worth watching for how it ends, great stuff.

Prey (Hulu) – To be honest I didn’t have high expectations for this Predator one-off as it was going the route of streaming. But rethinking this opinion as I watched the movie two things popped in my head: 1) everything is going to go streaming sooner than later. 2) I really enjoyed even though it’s a one-off it still tries to connect to the series but give the movies a fresh start. “Predator” just like the “Puppet Master” series has many stories to tell so I am happy with watching a Predator heading to the 1700s to go fight some Native Americans so please Hulu give us more as I give this film 3 stars.

Badlanders (DVD) – Some of our friends overseas might know this 1992 sci-fi adventure as “Prison Planet” starring bootleg Michael Pare. Bootleg Pare and his girlfriend get captured on purpose trying to erase records of rebels so the government can’t find all of them. But also so Bootleg Pare gets sent to the prison planet so he can find their king, Himshaw, who was banished by his brother 30 years ago. Honestly the film drags and doesn’t have a whole lot going on even with the bootleg of a bootleg villains as Charles Band in his Empire Pictures days would have dome this much better and we most likely would had an appearance of a Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton? I wish this little known film was better but it was mostly a dud as I can only give it 1 star.

The Cheerleader Sleepover Slaughter (DVD) – A group of cheerleaders more concerned with their upcoming sleepover than school are missing their friend who is hosting it. This is where a senior, Lori comes in, as Lori has been trying to get on the squad every year but denied. Now Lori has a chance for an in on the squad as they need a new location for their sleepover. The film has a creepy camera kid, a killer that shows up before the credits, cheerleaders getting naked as it checks all the boxes to pay some homage to “Slumber Party Massacre”. But two minor issues with this film: the pacing of the film felt forced from beginning to end and the music didn’t fit the film. But the film has heart and in the spirit of the old school cheerleader slasher films this will find a place among horror fans as I give it 2 stars.

The Athens County Massacre (DVD) – This absolute boring piece of crap is a found footage/conspiracy flick involving unsolved homicides in 2014 called “Athens Woods Massacre”. According to the teletype at the beginning of the film some hackers have gotten ahold of footage and F.B.I. documents of this cover up! The event involves a hack alien investigator William Miller who has a show called “Alien Hunter”. When William Miller is being one of the most annoying film characters of all time He finds himself deeper and deeper into this so-called cover-up of aliens killing people in Athens County Woods. Does he ever really find evidence that is up to you to find out? Or if you or me you regret some life decisions like watching this dog turd and want your 80 minutes of life back as I give it 0 stars.

The Night Before Easter (DVD) – A super terrible 2014 Indy film where a group of friends go to play ‘hide and seek’ and party in a large storage building to send off a friend to London.  But a person dressed as the Easter Bunny is killing them off one by one. This film is ridiculously slow and I have never seen characters look so awkward when interacting with each other as everything seems dumb and made up on the spot and nowhere near a good way. This film insulting to killer bunny films as this has to be one of the worst films I have watched in 2022 as I give it 0 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

We dropped three new Bloodbaths and Boomsticks episodes … finally!

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We return and this week we have more movies and madness to talk about.  First watch Joe Don Baker crash cars and make out with Susan Sarandon in CHECKERED FLAG OR BUST.  Then a movie only Tim Gross could find in DISGUSTING SPACE WORMS EAT EVERYONE. then we chat about a movie that is a truly hidden gem in 2020’s THE CURSED.  And finally we have to talk about this week’s installation in the Amityville saga in AMITYVILLE DOLLHOUSE.  We also get into what we’ve been watching, Kyle’s total addiction to Elden Ring.  Misty Mundae and her lousy movies.  And a whole lot more.  So download this episode or all your Cinemax soft core skin flicks will be deleted off your hard drive.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This time we return and we are bringing even more genre treats with us.  First we have the Shaw brothers bringing you a weirdo guy in a rubber suit monster mash in THE OILY MANIAC. Then it’s a made for TV. jam in MIDNIGHT OFFERINGS.  And finally DOCTOR SLEEP… because Kyle wanted to make 2 guys who hate the original Shining watch the sequel.  We also have many discussions about the proper freezing methods when it comes to your snacks.   Bruce Willis and his unfortunate illness. and everyone watches the new Spider Man flick.  We also read the newest news, rundown what we have been watching, and as always we answer all you listener questions.  So download this episode or Doctor Strange will banish you to the mirror dimension.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

IT’S JOHN’S BIRTHDAY… And we are celebrating by doing the same old same old show.  As always we have 4 more flicks to talk about.  First we have an Ed Wood flick that was requested by listener Jody in JAILBAIT.  Then we have a slimy slime filled in BIO-SLIME.  And a really great 2020 jam in CENSOR.  And this week’s installment in the Amityville saga is Amityville Haunting.  Also we chat about the many ways to get and or avoid pinkeye.  Middle age poop flingers, Skyrim and Kyle’s addiction to Elden Ring. And Tim and Kyle run down their trip to Cinema Wasteland.  And as always we read your listener questions,  read the news, and rundown what we have been watching this week.  So download this episode or you’ll take an arrow to the knee.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Living the Dream (in independent films)

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Living the Dream (in independent films)

Okay for the dozen of you that will actually take the time to read this post/blog/article and got past the flashing thingy-ma-jig on the Google machine or your phone thank you… For the rest of you this is actually me making a point for yinz N’at! Anyway, we hear people all the time say, “I am living the dream”. We know its bullshit and wanna punch them in the face! But just stay with me here as for the week of August 13th-20th, 2022 I might actually be “living the dream”? Wait on punching me in the face… There is a point here if you are an independent filmmaker, author, script writer, actor, etc. During the week of August 13th-20th, 2022, “The Barn 2” is having a premiere August 13th & 14th which I actually had a very small speaking part in (if Zane and Justin didn’t cut me out… I would understand lol). Next, there is a DVD being released on the 16th from SOVHorror.com where I am not just in the movie from Maddie Deering called “Trash Removal” but I am actually on the cover. Then on the 20th, there is a special backyard screening of “Spirit Animal” which is gaining steam as an Indy cult classic which I get killed by a buffalo head. (If you wanna go a little further on the 27th we continue to shoot more scenes for ‘Sorority Sasquatch’ segment for our film “Tales from the Gross Side”.) Sorry yinz I will make my point and that is “living the dream”. The week of August 13th-20th is an example of the payoff. Life can be a grind people and most of us if not all don’t have the ideal jobs? This is where independent filmmaking, acting, writing comes in and some get discourage quickly, don’t make money, or feel it is going nowhere? I am here to tell you when I do movie panels or speak at conventions and use the phrase “if you are doing this for the money you are in the wrong business” comes into play… Ask yourself if you are “living the dream” when you act, direct, or write because know this there is a payoff or at least I believe there is no matter how long it takes. Think about it: I am 47 (I know I am an old Chudsquatch by your standards), I have been either writing books, trying to get into movies, or run Grossfest for the past twenty years and this week coming soon is the first time in my life I actually understand the phrase “living the dream”. Again the point my friends there is a payoff for all your passion, hard work, shitty effects work, or the camera taking a shit after you shot some of the greatest scenes ever in your life so hang in there and understand independent filmmaking, writing, acting is about fun, your passion, being away from your real but most likely shitty job because what is the worst that can happen? Someone sees your project and they actually like it…? Now that is crazy or maybe it is just you getting to “live the dream”… So think because maybe there was a payoff and you just chose to not acknowledge it?

#independentmovies

#grossfest