Gross Movie Reviews #716

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The Executioner II (Tubi) – I know there is a recent special edition of this forgotten action flick too for the physical media collectors. There is a serial killer or vigilante on the streets of LA cleaning up the streets as police and mob people are baffled who it is but both want rid of the person. The film looks more like 1977 than 1984 but adds to the exploitation of the flick that comes complete with Vietnam flashbacks, a gang bothering innocent people of course, a cop’s daughter needing “the dope” who gets into more trouble she can handle, a mob dude known as the tattoo man, and the detective who figures out his Vietnam buddy is the one going out looking for criminals. It is no “The Exterminator” but it does the job for those of who love these action type of flicks from the early 80s as I give it 2 stars.

Virus of the Dead (DVD) – A viral outbreak story is told across 15 segments of this anthology using cameras, phones, etc.,  that was edited together and shot by over a dozen directors. With the editing aspect you are able to see the progression of the outbreak through several people’s point of views, different parts of the world, and how they are reacting to it. For me this didn’t feel like a true anthology or a found footage film (as some critics called this 2018 project) but an independent zombie flick going for a different take on the genre? Definitely the project “5G Zombies” borrowed this idea and did a much worse execution of the concept. I enjoy zombie films as I just believe this concept isn’t for me. I think the concept was the right kind of thinking before COVID just needed that little something to make it stand away from the bloated zombie genre as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.


Friday the 13th Blood Loss (Blu-ray) – A fan made feature about the infamous Camp Crystal Lake that has Ari Lehman playing a bartender who begins to tell a story to two young men who are there just to piss around because like many they have heard about the legend of Jason. Apparently the legendary campground has been reopened again as the stories of Jason refuse to go away. But with a few recent nearby homicides and a child gone missing who fell in the lake this only fuels the community to wonder if Jason has returned. A down on his luck detective is brought in on the case of the missing kid more like fresh eyes to the case, plus a second chance for him to keep his job. As the detective digs deeper into the case he learns that many believe the lake is the source of all the problems that have surrounded this community for decades and talking to a ghost isn’t helping his sanity. Overall the film starts off solid having Jason involved but more of a background character like his ghost mother but in the end the film feels like a mess as the story feels like it falls apart and with no real ending other than the boy being found. Now, I also can see I am contradicting myself, but it felt there was no real ending to tie everything together as I can only give the project 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Pantomime (Google Drive) – The latest short film from filmmaker Matthew Diulus who gives us a magnificently fun project about a clown found in a park. Also a reminder to stay away especially when they have signs on trees nearby declaring “Beware of Clowns”. Melissa Sapienza makes this short film special with her inherently creepy performance as the killer clown! Because of all that this film deserves 4 out of 4 stars.

Wrath of the Skunk Ape (YouTube) – An oldie but a goodie from 1997 out there free to watch from the early days of Mike Hartman and Silver Bullet Pictures. This SOV feature has an old dude hunting for the notorious creature in the woods that killed his brother many years before. For whatever reason when the skunk ape isn’t stealing campers’ beans and bananas it attacks unsuspecting campers and kidnaps beautiful women. This is some fun hijinx long before this crew made features like “Chubbies” and “Blood Orgy at Beaver Lake” as I give this feature 2 out of 4 stars.

Big Shark (Tubi) – Finally the project has been released into the wild for all of us to see as for years we would hear it wasn’t finished or played at some film festival no one heard about. Anyway, the cult star Tommy Wiseau wrote, directed, and stars in a shark film about three firefighters in New Orleans that are put into action to go kill a “big shark”! The film is as bizarre, absurd, and incoherent as advertised but I do quite enjoy Tommy Wiseau wearing a hat and gloves at all times throughout this mess whether he is in a wet suit or not and for that I can still only give 1 star for this.

Emotional Support Shark (Blu-ray) – A Mark Polonia flick that doesn’t fall into his usual stuff but also not exactly the killer shark film horror fans would be used too. Tim Hatch is Virgil the janitor for the local aquarium attraction that has sharks. Virgil is quite attached to the sharks as he spends time everyday to talk and watch them. Virgil truly feels these amazing animals are his only friends as this project takes the slow burn approach with shark psychology and physiology that builds up pressure on the main character of Virgil as he feels only comfort with them. There is a part in the film where Virgil is under pressure to pay his bills as he is behind but he has no internet and then two minutes later he is looking at something on a laptop, lol. As the walls are closing in Virgil of possibly being fired, poked fun at by the beautiful receptionist, bullied by his supervisor, etc. Virgil has dreams of someone killing people with a shark mask. It is a fun pressure cooker I believe most are not used to seeing from Mark as you start to wonder if there really is a killer, is Virgil the killer, or is there something entirely different going on here? Definitely a very different killer shark film from the independent filmmaker as I give 3 out of 4 stars.

Hey Chuck (DVD) – A short film project from Broaden Torture Productions that is quite entertaining nine minutes of a young man being followed by a demented individual. This demented individual tortures the young man and only speaks the words “Hey Chuck” while following him… everywhere! And its hilarious where they have him followed so if you need a few laughs this is worth checking out as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

The Final Wasteland (DVD) – Another feature from the Broaden Torture guys as they head to their final wasteland convention knowing they will with to contend with their old friend Dan. Things seem to go well until finally they begin to interact with their friend and all hell breaks loose as Dan makes sure it is the last convention the boys attend. I give the project 2 out of 4 stars.


Pigskin (YouTube) – Another interesting short film project from MMH Productions as they are tasked with making a quickie film about a killer football player. The crew takes an hour and a camcorder and came up with this with the promise of a sequel soon. MMH Productions is constantly coming up with off the wall independent projects and mainly short film style but don’t sleep on this talent as I like how weird Mr. Hunter gets when it comes to the features as I give this 2 out of 4 stars for its on the spot idea.

Gross Movie Reviews #603

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The Zombie Army (Blu-ray) – This shiny SOV turd was directed by Betty Stapleford and was considered legendary at my favorite video store “ISV”. We literally had a running bet on who would actually rent this film as it had a label on it “Worst Movie in the Store”, yet no one would rent it except us dumb asses who watched it a couple times in the store over 20 years ago. Well movie nerds apparently ‘Future Video’ thought it was time to bring it to HD! So how to explain the clarity… Okay imagine if you are old… like me, and you are watching a movie on the old black and white TV set with rabbit ears? That was the VHS version. Now imagine if that VHS was dying and played on your new 60 inch thin ROKU TV thingy and you know that was an upgrade. Anyhow besides this wonderful clarity there are some trailers, different music, and footage of a writer/producer talking about their experience in getting the movie made. So the government has bought an insane asylum because you know that is a wonderful idea. After a couple dumb military personnel open a radioactive shelter door looking for drugs this of course allows two psychos to be released and wander the halls again. These psychos are not your ordinary psychos as they want to experiment on the military privates and turn them into their zombies. It was released in 1991 and some fun effects to enjoy as I give this Blu-ray 3 stars.

African Kung Fu Nazis (DVD) – So this falls under “what in the bizarre hell am I watching?” as Hitler survives for no apparent reason with the leader of Japan. Again not exactly explained but these two make a tag team who find themselves in Guyana (I think) who begin to build their German/Japanese army out of the native African folk that live there. Hitler helps train these folk for a world tournament that they are going to put on. Oh did I mention if you are black and touch the new German/Japanese flag you go ‘white face’! So of course once they build a force they bother the local dojo to pay tribute to them and force setting up a revenge story in this racist mix of “Bloodsport”, “Fist of Fury”, and “Mortal Kombat” where you won’t know if you should laugh, cry, or both when it is done as I give this film 3 stars.

Legion of the Night (YouTube) – An independent film from Matt Jaissle that is also known as “Dead City” gives off wonderful “The Dead Next Door” vibes so you know you are in for a treat. Out of Detroit a couple of scientists are forced by some mob boss Francis to come up with zombie assassins. Not exactly expecting the research to pan out as well as it did they were able to give Francis the ultimate crew to do his bidding. Of course the scientists are considered expendable and thought to be completely killed off by some of the underlings? But assistant Russell survives and explains to Taylor who is back in town wondering what happen to his father. The two plot a tale of revenge with the new CZAs (Cybernetic Zombie Assassins) to seek revenge against Francis. All seems to go to plan until Francis has also partake in the forbidden formula and combat just got a lot more interesting. Love the premise of the film, love the look even for 1995, love the vibe, some great effects, the only flaw might be the story gets a little confusing or overcomplicated but if you are an Indy fan you need to have this in your collection as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Green Hell: A Jay Crimson Film (YouTube/Troma Now) – The film opens with filmmaker Jay Crimson where this content comes from and why? But you get two sketchy looking friends who accidentally find a liquid in a cough syrup bottle dropped by a random individual. Trying to get all kinds of fucked up believe it would be a great idea to drink it? Not much time passes before they begin to trip balls, see zombies, party again, more zombie gut munching, more weird visions, get quickly addicted to it, then kill a friend’s girlfriend. It is a lewd, crude, quick take, rough style kind of filmmaking style that was featured in other independent titles “The Wet Ones” and “Magnum Opus” to name two. I know there is a small niche audience for this project I just don’t think I am it… I more of a “Street Team Massacre” movie weirdo as I give this film 2 out of 4 stars.

After Presence (DVD) – A found footage flick of a Ghost Hunting dude who disappeared in 2017 while filming with his partner their latest special at a cemetery. Jamie Rice and Pat Donovan are all about getting content for their fans. The two separate for investigation purposes during filming and Pat slowly gets very deep into something that could be considered disturbing. Pat ignores the possible warning signs and weird shit going around him until it is too late. Everyone knows I am not a huge paranormal movie fan but kudos to these guys as they kept it basic, had a complete serious tone throughout, and had a good storyline they stray from as I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Alphabet Soup (DVD) – Another project from Broaden Torture Productions as this is more of a mish mash of four short films that feel like experiments, never fully fleshed out projects, or something they tried and will possibly remake in the future when the funds dictate. Creature from the Deep is a cheeseball corny short that I enjoyed the most. A great combo DVD or perfect starter thing for an independent movie fan who may want to check out more from these guys as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

To Love Again (Blu-ray) – Another feature out of the long lost collection of filmmaker Dan Komarek that was shot in 2008 and a far departure from horror, fantasy, and kids believing they are some kind of Ninja Masters. Two unlikely friends in Zack and Sarah who are all about the drugs strangely find love for each other as they try to figure out their lives together. Happiness is short lived when Sarah’s live-in boyfriend/roommate Tony decides this needs to stop and the two accidentally kill Tony. Again a huge departure from what you would use to seeing from this filmmaker but it does have its kinks and corks for such a serious tone film like the weird fake box waterbed (I cannot get my mind around it, sorry) and the barking dog at all times in the background of filming this love story. Dan shows a different side of his talent here and well worth the watch I just don’t think this will resonate with Indy fans as much as his other work as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Video Nasty Productions: The Early Years Volume II (Blu-ray) – This time around it isn’t just some early unfinished projects from Dan Komarek but his brother Mike Komarek and it is clear who is doing what project! But before you sink your eyeballs into nearly three hours of short films Dan supplies you with twenty minutes of trailers and an interview with me Tim Gross talking about Dan Komarek and his career so far. The shorts: The Cleveland Haunting is where a young man is haunted by himself and controlled by another. Crime Story (2008) is about two dudes arguing over money. Then Crime Story (2012) completely unrelated to the other four years before but has the random barking dog returning, incoherent dialogue, machine gun sound effects for a pistol, a crochet clock hanging on a wall instead of a real clock, a hallway of a home that I think is supposed to be an office, and it has no ending… Which I was entertained by this absurdity! Into the Mystic which is more feature length than short film features a random dude in girl jeans stalking individuals in a national park where a fat young version of Dan Komarek eats cigarettes off the ground and still believes he knows kung fu! Nail Biter is a short that will possibly make you puke after the three minutes of shaky-cam and goes into a story of a newspaper reporter going back to an abandoned home to investigate murders and the legend that happened several years before. (This short film was done by Mike Komarek and the biggest example of the filming differences between the brothers.) The Entity is a short film with a Blair Witch feel as a lonely man goes slowly insane. (Nevermind the odd Nazi flag in the background as not sure why it’s there but it has nothing to do with the story?) The Road is a short where something strange happens to two best friends as soft music plays at all times. And Disinformation is a quick found footage thing that felt much unfinished. Another look into the young mind of Dan Komarek that is very entertaining and fun if you enjoy checking out stuff from independent filmmakers before they got the legs under in what they want to do as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.  

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