This website is dedicated to horror movies (independent and mainstream), beer, Full Moon, Spookies, Graveyard Shift, Leprechaun sequels, massacre films and watching every god damn horror film ever made or die trying!
The Slasher Nurse (Film Freeway) – Twenty years ago two girls (Piper and Grace) go to what they believe is an abandon house that looks really cool for their movie shoot. But the girls find out they are not alone as some of their friends play a prank that has Piper locked in a trunk when they are run off the property by an old man. Her brother finds her later only to be stabbed in a fit of rage by accident by Piper. Fast forward twenty years and the friends all work together exception for Piper who happens to be at the Blue Ridge Facility. Grace, friends, and work friends are all going away for the weekend but old wounds are reopened when Evan who is blamed for the prank gone wrong shows up before the weekend gets started. If that wasn’t enough the same evening Piper who hasn’t said much for years has escaped the hospital and has already created a murderous path to Grace and friends. The film is an interesting “prank goes wrong” flick with some nice gory kills that includes a death by lawnmower. Plus what will help writer/director to get film distribution are the appearances of popular horror stars: Felissa Rose, Diana Prince, and Jim Krut. Even though Kerr gives it a fun touch of bringing some freshness to the slasher genre its main flaw is the 107 minute running time that could easily be trimmed down to 88-90 minute time frame but that is for another conversation. But Kerr’s saving grace (no pun intended) is the twist he gave to his horror feature as I give the feature 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Titanic 666 (Tubi) – Of course straight out of Asylum Entertainment this feature would have hit SyFy Channel a few years back but now it is a Tubi exclusive 18 months ago. So I finally decided to give it a chance after first hearing about it I could not believe it, but guess what kids the film is super watchable. It is 110 years after the original voyage and the new Titanic III is setting sail for its maiden voyage to pay respects to the original wreckage where it lays rest. Just like the original boat it claims to be unsinkable and people are just dying to get on board to be a part of history. But a mysterious cute redhead has hidden herself in some luggage to get on board and perform a ritual in the cargo area of the ship! This witch does a blood ritual that brings the spirits of the original Titanic to life again to haunt all on the Titanic III and take control of the ship so all living can relive the tragic events of 110 years ago. This of course causes panic among the new captain and crew as they were told the voyage was cursed but chose not to believe. I was expecting a terrible mess but instead was given something watchable and entertaining that I never thought I would say about a film called ‘Titanic 666’ as I give it 2 ½ stars.
The Bayou (On Demand) – A group of people try to fly on the cheap on an uncharted flight that just so happens to wreck into a swamp. But this isn’t just any swamp as the swamp is filled with unusually bloodthirsty gators that are all methed up and stalk all that were a part of the wreckage one by one. Yes, it is a plot that we have seen several times but this one keeps it gory and mean with a quick running time to keep us horror movie freaks happy as I give it 3 stars.
Slaughter Beach (Tubi) – Two friends are kicked out of their beach front house because none of their side gigs produced. Now the duo is forced to look for an actual job so they are not homeless. Bingo, bright idea the duo decides they can make money by getting rid of all of the crime along the beach so the two idoits become superheroes. Now the ‘Defender Benders’ drive a golf cart to help them clean up the beach but unknowingly stumble upon the beach serial killer aka the crusty bait shop dude! Stop the killer … they get paid! Sounds simple enough in this Indy feature that was silly enough for me to give 2 ½ stars too.
The Messenger (DVD) – A 1986 film that was directed and the story written by Fred Williamson but doesn’t have all the fun in this action extravaganza as it also stars Joe Spinell and Cameron Mitchell. Mr. Williamson aka Jake just got out of prison after three years and unfortunately finds out his girl has been doing some shady drug stuff. It all leads to a messy hit on her as with Jake out of prison she wants to be done with that stuff. Cops already looking side eyed at Jake, he takes a job from an old rich dude to clean up the drug dealers and bring down the bad mafia dudes who killed his girl! The film is classic Fred Williamson as it’s just a wonderful treat to watch him be a bad ass as I give the feature 2 ½ stars.
Night of the Dead Sorority Babes (DVD) – The film is an Indy talent filled feature that will have fans salivating! But of course it is ‘rush week’ at the most prestigious sorority on campus and they have some hand-picked ladies coming to visit the famous Gamma Rho Kappa house to pledge. Little do the young pledges know is that the Gamma Rho Kappa house has a process unlike others on campus. It all starts with two sisters who have been there from the beginning to make sure their evil ways continue as they use the young pledges to maintain their witchy powers. Now for the pledges the weekend is supposed to be for the young ladies to bond and not know they are there for evil sacrificing! This Indy feature is a no brakes; all gas sleazy fun sorority horror film we all remember from the 80s that with a little of its filler cut out would have horror fans declaring this a top ten horror film of 2025 as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. All the young ladies in this just kill it in here as my real issue is the filler kinda of dragging down a near perfect Indy horror film.
All Hail the Unknown (DVD) – A 2019 short film (32 minutes) comes from Matt Jefferson as his story is about a man named Paul who is given a chance to have all the power he would want from a mysterious woman. This woman hands Paul a small coffin and explains if he opens it he will have three tests to pass to get his wish for said power. Paul opens the box only to release a demon that guides Paul through the tests but when Paul actually passes the tests he doesn’t like the results of it even though he has power. An interesting and entertaining no budget short film that knew when to end the story as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
Wounds (DVD) – Will is a bartender of a dive bar called Rosie’s that seems to know his place in life but happens to pick up a phone from some underage kids after a bar fight that is broken up. By accident Will takes it home to only get weird messages on it as he is curious and wants the owner to know he has the phone. Like most humans these days, Will cannot leave it alone and begins to respond to the weird messages only to have something weird happen to him. As some unusual visual shit begins to happen to Will his girlfriend Carrie gets suck into the process also as Will goes down a wormhole to truly find out what’s going on? But the knowledge if you call it that only drives him deeper into madness as a ritual has opened a portal for Will to go through. This is one of those horror films that will have horror fans calling it a “boring mess” or “one of the most misunderstood films of all time”. For me I enjoyed the weird premise and background on the characters involved but the payoff was not what I wanted in the end as I give the film 2 ½ stars.
Graveyard Shark (Blu-ray) – A legend about a half-shark/half-human thing stalking a graveyard has caught the eye of a Cryptids Hunter named Abby. Abby since she was a child has wanted to prove things like Sasquatch are real because her father was killed by a monster. Abby the so-called cryptozoologist is hired by a Dr. Lovnik who runs a Graveyard Shark survivors AA group. The good doctor would like Abby to chase down this legend and kill it for these survivors to have closure. Abby being super excited by this opportunity wastes no time investigating the Graveyard Shark legend and it is all because of a horny fisherman and his one night of passionate love making with a mermaid that made this creature possible. After witnessing the carnage Abby wants to end this “Street Sharks” look-a-like monster before it continues its bloody rampage but as usual there is more to this story such as: sasquatch sex, shark sex (doggie style and a young lady that believes her and the shark are a thing), and shark vs. werewolf for the final fight. WTF?! I am all in with this fun entertaining gory mess as I think I found another 2025 favorite that all of yinz need to witness as I give it 4 out of 4 stars. Also kudos on that bad ass shark costume!!!
The Lost Campfire Tales (Tubi) – A 2015 Indy film with no budget that has a group of people camping telling stories or I should say retelling scenes of their favorite slasher films of the 80s. It is a fun stupid thing for laughs but gotta say they didn’t take themselves too serious so the 50 minute film goes quick as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Aqua Beast (YouTube) – A non-descript Colorado family heads out to the old camping ground for Grandma to relive some fun memories as a kid. Well it doesn’t take long for Grandma to get eaten by a shark in a waterway! Even though the so-called teenagers are not too broken up about it they combine forces with the old crusty dude at the bait shop to go hunting for sharks. Along the way one picks up a girlfriend, one loses a boyfriend, and somehow crappy NES graphic shark gets thrown into a woodchipper by a large firework. I laughed at this movie for all the wrong reasons as the acting was monotone the entire length of the film as I wasn’t expecting much but I still cannot give it more than 1 star.
Amityville A.I. (Tubi) – As usual yinz all can thank me later as this is entry #65 into the longest running movie series of al time! Filmmaker Matt Jaissle of course goes back to the well again of Amityville 1979 where something terrible happens with a serial killer. Now present day, Stuart rents a house in Amityville who also just happened to bring his program “Vic 3000” and connect it the rental home. Once security cameras are installed the program has control of the home just like that 1981 TV movie ‘This House Possessed’. Between the weird ghost of the murderer in the house and the program taking over anything around Stuart he is trapped by his own creation and rental home. You can take your pick of what the actual plot of this film is… but outside of the scene with the neighbor’s hilarious sexbot killing him this feels like a mess that was thrown out there to say “I did it first”? I thank you for giving me another entry to watch but let’s be honest there is so much more you could have done on the slim budget you may have had as give it 0 stars.
Popeye’s Revenge (Amazon) – The Brits are at it again in making horror films out of cartoons as this time around they tackle the thick armed sailor who eats spinach. Honestly they keep it basic which looks to be best way to tackle this forgotten character as they made Popeye an urban legend that is a mash up of Jason Voorhees and Freddy Kruger. Fifth-teen years ago after Popeye as a child accidentally killed a fellow child, his parents threw him in the basement but the villagers came anyhow to burn their family home down. Popeye survives but badly burned only to dive into the lake. Now every time a fog rolls in the legend of Popeye arrives to kill any who are nearby. So hey, by all means let’s turn Popeye’s old home into a campground where Popeye can slaughter all who show up at the summer camp before it ever opens. Overall I believe they went just to make a fun gory slasher throwback and they have accomplished their task. Wouldn’t think a Popeye film would be entertaining but there is just something about a burned up pipe smoking dude running out of the woods to squish people’s eyeballs out of their head as I give this 2 ½ stars.
The Special (DVD) – This little film has a little sleaze, a little sex, and WTF is that? Jerry is a regular guy who believes his beautiful wife has been cheating on him. So after a heavy night of drinking his best friend takes Jerry to a secret location aka brothel that happens to have a psychic. Sixty bucks and Jerry is off to upstairs to get “The Special”, an empty room that he is locked in with a box that reads “Stick it in Here”! Jerry believes it is a joke until sometime goes past and eventually puts his dong into the box. BREAKING NEWS… Jerry has the greatest time ever to the point his best friend gotta zip up his pants and get Ivan to throw him into the car. But there is a catch the psychic or Madame warns the best friend be sure Jerry never comes back because the “box” wants him? This only begins a downward spiral for Jerry as he finds out his hot wife (Sarah French) didn’t cheat but was buying a snow blower. For Jerry nothing matters as he is now obsessed to find this box as he would kill to have it as he does and develops a relationship (or let’s just say it he keeps fucking a box) with the thing in the box. An interesting and entertaining ride into a character’s downward spiral of nothing matters except the pleasure he gets from a mysterious box as I give this feature 3 stars.
Don’t Mess with Grandma (Tubi) – This Tubi original is one of my first favs of 2025 as it stars Michael Jai White as Jasper and Billy Zane. The plot of the film besides Jasper throwing white people out a window the whole movie is Jasper taking care of his Grandma who lives in the middle of nowhere. Jasper everyday drives two hours to go take care of anything she needs while getting drunk doing it while running from Grandma’s dog who doesn’t like him. Well tonight things go a little sideways as three people show up in pig masks to burglarize Grandma’s house. Not going to happen in this laugh a minute film as Jasper defends the home quickly but soon sees there is friends or family in this case who have planned this job for a while as they won’t go away quietly. Basic but entertaining premise this 4 out of 4 stars film is “home invasion gone wrong” that includes Jasper singing a DIO song while a man dies in his arms, a person getting paper towels duct taped to their ass because they are missing part of an ass cheek, and how Jasper just wants Grandma to consider moving into the city. Again folks 4 stars all the way as it will be hard for any of yinz to not find this extremely entertaining and laugh the whole 80 minutes as I did.
Streets of Vengeance (Blu-ray) – Mila is a pornstar who is at the height of her career, well liked, and she is at the end of her contract as she wants out so she can do something fresh. But little she knows she is a target by a cult called “The Sword” that wants to make an example of her. They believe her smut career is ruining society and she must be stopped. Mila is not expecting anything terrible even though the ‘San Francisco slasher’ has claimed two of her friends. After her retirement party Mia is kidnapped but escapes the brutality of the cult with a little help as she kills her captor. Mia receives a phone call on a phone she forgot she grabbed from her kidnapper and decides it is time to fight back. Mia recruits her fellow sex workers as this turns into a glorious version of ‘Savage Streets 2’! Way too much filler at the beginning to establish Mia and friends are in the porn industry but the film more than makes up for it once Mia is out for one night of revenge in this sleazy action thriller that I give 3 stars too.
Paranoia Tapes: The Movie (4K) – Full disclosure I am not a huge fan of some of the early entries that I have seen but I will give Jack Hunter and crew credit this has a different charm and finish to it that definitely made it an entertaining Indy feature. We begin with a couple of podcasters discussing an oddity of spookiness that has affected certain people and streams over the years this quickly connects to a DIY You Tuber named Clyde. Clyde is constantly filming himself for his vlogs that have become popular and today he has received a mystery package at his door. The box contains movies that also just happen to have Clyde’s picture on the back of the box along with his best friend Jack throughout the films dying, killing etc. Clyde concerned recruits his friend Jack to come to the house to witness the weirdness of it all and discuss doppelgangers as we the viewer get to see the short films of other vloggers plotting murders and other nefarious acts. Again I enjoyed the simple fact that this crew went to great lengths in storytelling to give you a scare with substance. Yes there are flaws, but overall I believe they accomplish in telling an entertaining spooky story in the context of folks constantly using their phones and the consequences that could follow? For that I give this a solid Indy outing 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Werewolves (On Demand) – Frank Grillo as Wesley, Katrina Law, and Lou Diamond Phillips are scientists who are working on a cure for humans as a year ago during a super moon anyone exposed to it turned into a werewolf causing chaos. After his brother’s death last year as he was part of the first responders dying trying to control the population the year before, Wesley has taken up taking care of his brother’s family. The experiment to control the wolfing out problem with their “moon screen” starts out promising but after 60 minutes people begin to change as the werewolves are hard to control. With the experiment gone to shit in the lab Wesley must return home to help his dead brother’s family as he gets a distress call. The film is solid but has its flaws (not quite understanding the throw away characters) but think it is a 80s B-movie post-apocalyptic plot meets ‘The Purge’ with werewolves. Sounds interesting, Frank Grillo is great, some cool werewolf shit, but also I feel like this movie is a much bigger mess than we all know as I give the flick 2 ½ stars.
Mouse of Horrors (Tubi) – Indeed there is another terrible film loosely based on that Disney mouse character. By the way be warned I have already seen another film slated to be released soon? Anyway a killer mouse mutation stalks its victims at an amusement park to use their body parts for something even more sinister. The killer mouse takes the body parts back to an old crusty dude who supposedly has plans! By the way Winnie the Pooh shows up to pal around a bit for no reason as this movie from the UK just drags ass as the plot seems to be to set up the next kill for the killer mouse. Which isn’t that god damn interesting kids? All in all this entire movie felt like a fan-made feature with no real direction as I give it a fat zero stars.
Rats: Night of Terror (4K Ultra HD) – For the love of Rutger Hauer horror fans if there was ever a movie that deserved me saying, “You can only shine up a turd so much” it is this project as I cannot believe my eyes what Severin Films did with this package! Now don’t get me wrong I absolutely love this cheesy turd of a post-apocalyptic greatness as the quote on the slipcover has proved me correct: “A movie you can tell people about and they’ll say, ‘That’s not a real movie’ but it is. It totally is.” (From Drive-in Asylum) I have talked about this movie for years after I first seen a bootleg in the late 90s that led me buying that early DVD release in the 2000s as that was something that was said to me constantly. Anyway, for those who never had the pleasure the story takes place in 225 A.B. (After the Bomb) where people have lived underground for so long and now a group of unruly individuals want to live above ground where they find an abandoned city. The group enters a building where it looks like humans were sustaining themselves but left suddenly. The group investigates quickly and believes they are saved by this wonderful find. But it doesn’t take long for them to find horribly disfigured bodies and killer rats that seem to have the taste for fresh humans. Within one night the rats attack like a zombie horde forcing the group to survive the oncoming slaughter. It fun, its gory, its Eye-talian of course I love it but this 4K restoration is just beautiful because I never thought in a million years this gritty old looking film could ever be cleaned up? But that is only the tip of the iceberg here horror fans as this 3-disc set has commentaries, a wonderful documentary with the cast talking about Bruno Mattei, several other interesting interviews with cast members talking about their experience on the film, the film’s soundtrack among so much more fun stuff for post-apocalyptic nerds as myself. This package gets 4 stars as I never thought I would be saying “I needed Rats: Night of Terror on 4K”.
Texas Chainsaw Mascara (Blu-ray) – Just another film project from the legendary or infamous Indy filmmaker Bill Zebub. A few out of state horror enthusiasts have traveled to the great state of Texas for some sightseeing. Car breaks down; they argue among them until a lovely local named Heather comes along to offer help. She leads them to her home of the weird to meet her family where quickly the opposing groups don’t get along. After a few words the family gets pissed then proceeds to tie the outsiders up for torture, maybe some bad sex choices and eventually cannibalism of course. By some chance you have never watched a Bill Zebub film his projects are not something you will be comfortable watching as I believe that is always his end goal? Now saying that and have reviewed some of his work in the past I have to say this project just lacks from beginning to end as the cast looked disinterested in their roles as I can only give this film 1 out of 4 stars.
Slaughter Day (Blu-ray) – This is a wonderful Indy SOV gem that got unearthed recently from 1991and was given the special treatment. A couple of young dudes head to a cabin on a Saturday that they are in the process of fixing up only to be met by a violent young man. This is where the film just goes and never stops as you can easily see this was inspired by the ‘Evil Dead’ films with fight scenes, chase scenes (including a homemade car stunt), over the top gags, gore, fun time all around. In the end the duo must faceoff with the Necronomicon at the construction site to end the gory evil chaos. SOV fans are going to enjoy this delightful treat as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars as maybe its only flaw is the music to the film?
The Downfall of Mr. Difford (DVD) – A 2015 feature written, directed, and stars Matt Jefferson along with a great Indy cast. Thomas Difford or as he likes to be called Mr. Difford, is accused of being a murderer that has been dragged into the police station to be questioned by detectives. But Mr. Difford has the detectives where he wants them as he wants to tell them his stories or conquests of his experiments of seeing blood flow. Mr. Difford doesn’t claim to be insane just misunderstood as Difford has work to do in collecting samples for his work. His stories drive the detectives to the verge of committing a criminal act as if it was part of Mr. Difford’s all along? Enjoyed the no budget serial killer feel of storytelling but the ending wasn’t what I was exactly thirsting for as if Mr. Jefferson was unsure in how to end his 2015 feature. Indy folks start tracking this delicious gem down as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
Wolfman (On Demand) – Universal Studios heads back to reimaging their classics as my fear was they would just tell another origin story of “The Wolf Man” and I was happily wrong to say. The backstory of the film is set in rural mountains of Oregon, 1995, where a hiker has disappeared in the woods. The few people that live there believe he maybe “the face of the wolf” that has been an urban legend in those parts. Blake remembering this as a kid remembers his father being very fierce about this being real. Now thirty years later Blake and his family are heading back to the old farm to collect his father’s things as Blake’s father has been declared dead. After an accident has the moving truck stuck in a tree Blake is attacked by a creature while getting his family to safety. The family makes it the old farm house hoping to stay put for the night so at daybreak they can find help but this unknown creature stalks the farm house looking for a way in. Meanwhile, inside Blake begins to slowly transform into something animal-like scaring his family as they may have to fight Blake and the animal thing outside to escape. I liked the movie but didn’t love it but the one thing I wanted them to do they did as they gave me a different story to digest than the usual remake garbage. I enjoyed this for more of its non-traditional take on famous character as the film directs most of its attention on family not the creature oddly enough for that I give it a respectful 3 stars.
Trick or Treat (4K Ultra HD) – This special treatment of such a cultish 80s horror film has been something horror movie fans have waited a long time for. Red Shirt Pictures and Synapse Films teamed up to bring their masterpiece of an extras filled special edition version of Trick or Treat movie to 4K. It is all wonderful but before we get into that lets go over the film itself for some horror fans that haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying. The plot involves a teenager played by Marc Price named Eddie who is an outcast at high school for being a metalhead. If not fighting with the school bully and his friends isn’t enough his favorite metal singer Sammi Curr has just died in a fire that just angers Eddie to no end. In pops a DJ played by none other Gene Simmons, who gives Eddie a record of Sammi Curr’s which has never been heard. Eddie takes it home and of course plays it backwards as Sammi begins to talk to Eddie. Sammi Curr has found a way to come back to life thanks to Eddie to get back at Eddie’s bullies. But has it gone too far and can Eddie stop the undead rocker from killing everyone in town? Great music, great story, and yes an appearance by Ozzy Osborne as an evangelist on TV against metal music doesn’t hurt either made this one those “perfect horror movies” for the time it was released. Now this 4K release has everything fans could imagine that includes: three commentaries, an absolutely informative 81 minute documentary about the making of the film that includes an interview with Gene Simmons and how Hollywood came to Wilmington, North Carolina, (Michael Felsher’s thoughts as a 13 year old when this film was released were spot on) all the old trailers, an episode of Hallowed Horror Grounds of visiting the set locations, After Midnight music video starring Tony Fields as Sammi Curr, and a segment called ‘Tribute to Tony Fields’ which may bring a tear to your eye as they interview Tony’s family after all these years and discuss his death. Also what really pops about this transfer is the restoration of the film is just perfect: not too bright, but colorful if that makes sense. Folks, Synapse and Michael Felsher have done a superb job of finally bringing this piece of entertaining horror history to physical media as I give it 4 out of 4 stars all the way. The 4k version is up for sale at www.synapsefilms.com .
Night Wolf (YouTube) – This 2010 UK film had its title changed from ‘13 hrs.’ to ‘Night Wolf’ most likely to be an easier sell to horror movie fans? But anyway Sarah was working in the U.S. for several months but has come back home to her small village to hang with family and friends for a small vacation. The group once together heads inside their old house only to find a bloody surprise of their father torn to shreds in bed and an animal that will stop at nothing to slaughter the group. The group finds a hiding spot in the attic and behind the walls of the old house so they can try to survive the animal’s terror during the stormy night. The subplot of the film is all about family and there is an excellent scene involving a character and a self-inflicted shotgun blast! A solid creature feature that I give 2 ½ stars too.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
The Stench (YouTube) – Look out as super talented Indy filmmaker Jim Roberts is at it again with his short film that begins with a fallen tree and Tony in a bad need of money. Sam had an old tree fall down in the backyard with some horrible green mist bellowing out of it! As Tony gets started on the nasty tree the situation devolves very quickly into madness. Something evil was disturbed in the tree and we all get lots of disgusting beautiful violence as I give the project 3 ½ out of 4 stars.
Creature Z (YouTube) – A team of mercs is dropped in hostile territory to rescue a scientist at a secret cold war bunker. Of course their goal is to get in and get out undetected. We all know in movies and life nothing is ever easy as the mercs get into a fire fight with a militia group who were unaware of the entrance for the bunker. Both parties find it to enter and quickly find out the hard way the dummies there melted a creature out of its frozen prison as they used the bunker to experiment on it. Their goal was genetic hybrids which humans will not survive the aftermath. Sounds good when explaining it but when cool stuff like the ‘Outpost’ films exist it is a tough task to measure up as from frame one of this movie it had good intentions but never seen through on them as I can only give this film 2 stars.
Moonsoil: Gruesome Tales of Michele and the Modern Witch (YouTube) – Weird Indy stuff with weird music where removing a cross from a shed in the middle of the woods releases a witch or its coven or something to that effect. After a kid drinks the drinking water and cuts off his own foot more weird shit happens with a presence stalking several random people. The film has some great locations but leans a little too much into the absurd to be polite to enjoy what they may have been going for as I can only give the project 1 ½ out of 4 stars.
Satan’s Parasite (YouTube) – So this Indy project is set up by some video stuff of the filmmaker’s vacation after COVID (most likely). These teenagers come back from vacation not feeling well which leads into weird stuff of a priestess and a parasite. I did learn something through this film: apparently if you get a pregnancy test in the mail you need to cut your hand open to see if you test positive for parasites? If mealworms swim all over the test then you sends it back to the hospital. This also made me curious about the procedure of the USPS and their care of blood soaked packages now that you are able to send your poop places? Anyway did I mention someone is trying to scoop out another’s eyeball with an ice cream scooper…? Way too much going on here without anything really going on as I give this independent feature 1 out of 4 stars.
Cagey(DVD) – If you are looking for no budget, off the wall, has that lost 90s SOV feel then David Bachmeier (wrote, direct, and edits) has a new treat for yinz. Emily is a young woman who just got fired from her pizza delivery job and needs to make the rent soon. Desperation makes Emily take a leap of taking a housesitting gig for the weekend. Mark who hires Emily doesn’t let her in on the secret he has hidden there because he is trying to protect family. Along the way of this feature there are some possible (fake future?) movie trailers that oddly help the story to pace out well. Without saying too much about the plot some Indy fans will see this project as tasteless or even disturbing but most I believe will respect what they have witnessed. For me, this feature doesn’t feel forced, comes along organically, allowed me to relish the plot and also never trust a person in a pigeon mask as I got to give this movie 3 ½ out of 4 stars.
Killer Werewolf (YouTube) – A lower budgeted UK flick about a zombie film being filmed in a small village. Things are going horribly because the lead actor is an ass while something is slaughtering the locals in the woods near the movie shoot. As detectives are baffled that these killings could be done by an animal the lead actor is eventually blamed for being a serial killer or is he? The movie spent way too much time on trying to be funny which it wasn’t as they did little for the werewolf reveal which once it happens will make you question why they attempted the project in the first place. Yinz are not missing much here as I can only give it 1 star at best.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Project Metalbeast (DVD) – Oh, I absolutely love this movie from 1994/1995 where it’s a great idea to put armor or a new metal skin on a werewolf in so many words. This is such a fun werewolf movie that finally found its way to physical media outside of VHS. Before we get into that lets talk plot: so the freakin’ CIA is secretly interested into werewolves in 1974, and have tracked one in Budapest of course. An operative who is hell bent on this secret mission and soon experiment on himself by injecting the blood of the Lycan. Not able to control the dude his good friend Barry Bostwick who also has evil plans of his own freezes the dude after shooting him for future experimentation. It is now 1994 and Barry has found a scientist that has developed a new skin graph as they test it unknowingly on this frozen body that once silver bullets are removed once again becomes a killing machine! A really fun werewolf film with Kane Hodder as the creature but its path back to physical media might be a little weird or still in question how? Quickly after its appearance on HBO and hitting VHS in 1995 that was it. Nothing about the rights, music, or who actually owned it for years let alone it just got a DVD release not a Blu-ray release but a DVD only a couple years ago with not much promotion. After some research this project may have been doomed from the beginning as the original company that funded it went out of business right after the film was released. So any hope of extras, deleted scenes probably never gonna happen. Yes, it is most likely the same version on YouTube but it never hurts picking up some rare physical media for such a title that just seem to disappear as I give the film 3 ½ stars.
Lone Wolf (DVD) – A late 80s werewolf film I never knew existed but of course had to watch as Eddie who has trouble with going to school but leads a rock band that is on the brink of making it big. Authorities find people who are shredded to pieces and have no problem blaming Eddie with his past if not the wild dogs but the bodies continue to pile up around town and this concerns two other students in Julie and Joel. These two concerned students start their own investigation and eventually include Eddie as they know he is not to blame. The film is some fun corny 80s garbage but I felt they did an awesome job in hiding the actual person who is the werewolf for most of the film as it makes for a great watch as I give it 3 stars.
Night Shadow (Tubi) – Now I wanted to check out this flick because it was another werewolf movie and did not pick it because it stars Kato Kaelin! Yeah that dude! The movie involves a young journalist Alex who has come back home on vacation for some needed space from her big city job. Besides that from the beginning Alex is stalked by some gnarly dude all the way to her small town as she is pushed by her network to start covering the grisly murders. Alex must combine her efforts with her ex-guy now the sheriff to piece together who is mutilating the locals before Danford’s population is zero. It was just a weird viewing experience if I am being honest as I give it 2 stars.
Black Past (DVD) – So this flick is one of the first films from German filmmaker Olaf Ittenbach made in 1989 but it was only released in the past decade. The movie follows a young man who has just moved to a new place with his family and just trying to fit in. A little curious the young man finds a chained up trunk in the attic and opens it because that is always a great idea. Thommy finds a mirror and a diary. After the brutal death of his girlfriend Thommy slowly turns to the diary as he is haunted by nightmares of her with stuff like his penis nailed to a piece of wood then hacked off. The mirror and diary eventually possesses him as the weird chaos of murders begins as Thommy is a cursed being now as I give it 2 stars.
Bull Shark 3 (Tubi) – So did any of yinz know this was a trilogy? I didn’t but that didn’t stop me from watching another low budget shark movie that concerns a small Texas town. This time around Spencer is sober and respected by the town’s mayor and sheriff who need his help one more time. There is evidence that a family of bull sharks is breeding at the center of the lake as their plan is too plant an ESD thing at the bottom of the lake and obliterate the sharks. Two problems are: a) it is next to a gas line and b) someone is going to have to go swimming with the sharks in order for it to be in its proper place. Not good, not bad low budget shark film that spoiler alert if you make it too the end leaves it open for gator problems as I give it 2 stars.
The House on Haunted Hill (Fawesome) – For those who are unaware there is now a pseudo sequel… What explains this version it is a sequel in theory of the popular 50s film that starred Vincent Price. It is a swift 64 minute feature from Dustin Ferguson that takes place on Halloween twenty years later where the local channel 6 program does a special on the hauntings or paranormal history of the haunted hill house that also includes nostalgia commercials from the 70s. A Channel Six reporter, cameraman, and a psychic head into the structure for the program “Price of Fame” to make it feel like you are watching someone’s old VHS tape of the Halloween program. For me this was an interesting idea but comes off as a short film stretched a little too thin if that makes sense. I enjoyed the weirdness of the newest ‘Spider Baby’ version but that just doesn’t work for something like the original ‘House on Haunted Hill’ especially with a remake and sequel to remake out there for over two decades. I appreciate the interesting attempt but gotta only give this project 2 stars.
Hey, Stop Stabbing Me! (Blu-ray) – The 2000 SOV hit has an introduction by director/co-writer Josh Miller and co-writer/actor Pat Casey as they made it in Hollywood and wanted to have a fun look back at a project that got them started. A fresh college graduate in Herman is heading back home to Bloomington, Indiana to see if he can find a cheap place to stay while he finds a job and decides what he really wants to do with his life. Herman finds what looks to be a great big house with a couple roommates but quickly understands roommates disappear from the house to never come back. They just adjust by filling the empty room with another person like Herman. Herman weirded out by a job digging holes, having a girlfriend, and having missing roommates still finds time to be curious by the graves in the backyard that no one questions. There is so much hilarious Indy stuff going on throughout the movie as Herman falls through scene after scene of just trying to be a good roommate and for this movie that is really all that matters or you die. Great Indy comedy I gotta give 3 ½ stars too.
Dinogator (On Demand) – So this Jim Wynorski film might be more interesting of how it got to its release than the film itself? Michael Madsen and Paul Logan are big game hunters who are trying to track down a half-snake/half-gator creature that keeps eating the locals who hang out in the swamp. There is no reason for the creature other than it just exists but that doesn’t stop a band who head out in the swamp to shoot their next rock video. Enjoy… But now to the real story of this once finished project that was once called ‘Cobragator’ in 2014 slated for a 2015 release. It never happened like several of Wynorski projects but was again slated for a late 2020/early 2021 release on SyFy Channel but again, nothing. Then a title change and it was freed weirdly to an On Demand platform last week. The characters are bad, there is no origin of the creature, but there is a reason to watch with friends. Have friends over and turn it into a drinking game where yinz try to figure out when Michael Madsen actually interacted with any cast members in the film. Watch how the movie was shot and you will totally get the game as I give this CG-killer made-up animal mess 1 star.
Mr. Buzzkill (Blu-ray) – Rob Collins has been a part of several Indy projects but this was his first feature he directed that just got released about the Silver Grove Massacre. The story of Mr. Buzzkill is told around a campfire by some friends who are explaining the origins of the Sliver Grove Massacre. According to these folks a ten year old (Jacob) in 1998 loses his shit after being locked up then slices and dices his way through a shed, his dad, and then the local bar only to walk away into the woods to never be found. As the years pass people disappear with no real answers other than the Mr. Buzzkill stories. Now grown up the kid is now a monster in 2018 completely slaughters a group of friends at an abandoned cabin one weekend. The story of this slasher character starts off solid but has the feeling that something is missing and not totally sure of how to wrap up the interesting case of a grown up Mr. Buzzkill. Good cast and nice gore effects keep the film moving but again I still felt the missing whatever ingredient is the difference in this new breed of Indy slasher going from just good to completely satisfyingly great! No matter how you feel about the film it is worth the watch as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Jurassic Exorcist (DVD) – In this Mark Polonia film a cult leader combines his evil with a dinosaur allowing it to eat everything in its devilish path after his death. Meanwhile a priest that has lost his faith in god is introduced to time travel as this allows him to go back a million years or so to exorcise this beast before it ever gets to present day! This wacked out plot taking place in a small town makes for a hilarious experience for viewers as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Grandma (Fawesome) – Twenty years ago Grandma’s Bed and Breakfast was a wonderful place to eat breakfast for the small town folk until it was revealed she been using humans for meat. People were disappearing from time to time but no one thought anything of it until that tragic day her place was investigated. Soon Grandma disappeared and part of the restaurant was torn down. Now in present day a young woman named Mallory inherits money from her dying father and she wanted to honor his memory by buying the place they both had fond memories of, “Grandma’s Bed and Breakfast”. The goal is for Mallory and a couple friends to clean the place up for business again. But clearly Grandma has returned and not too happy to share her place as she lures them one by one to their deaths. It is a crude but fun SOV shocker that captures that early 90s Indy vibe as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
George A. Romero’s Resident Evil (In Demand) – The purpose of this film is to look into why Romero’s vision of the popular video game never got made. In order to do that this film works twofold: tell the story of George A. Romero from the beginning but also the story of how Resident Evil became the horror game that changed so much in video games. This documentary dives head deep into the process of the game becoming a movie and compares the vision of Romero to Paul Anderson’s script. I quite enjoyed they brought up several times how people who are fans of the games dreaded the movie that came out (this officially ends me bitching about this series of films being an abomination on cinema) and reasons why we got what we got. The film runs a little long but I found it entertaining and very informative as it left I with only one question now… Should someone (cough, cough, Tom Savini or Greg Nicotero) go ahead and make the version of the script Romero wrote so long ago? I give this entertaining look into something I have yelled about constantly for years 3 ½ out of 4 stars.
Teddiscare (Tubi) – Another hilarious project from Mark Polonia and stars Tim Hatch with some really cool opening credits for the film. A young man Duncan receives a phone call that his father is dying as he has just returned from an asylum adjusting to life outside again. His father’s dying words are “don’t return to the woods of your childhood”. Of course Duncan cannot resist investigating the woods and quickly finds his stuffed animal collection from his childhood like they had been waiting there the whole time for him. Meanwhile a partner of Duncan’s father at the Filbert Plant is overlooking how the estate is given out and wants to screw over Duncan but Duncan would like him to meet his friend Teddy? Maybe one of the more weird projects from Polonia Brothers Entertainment in the past decade with a fun performance from Tim Hatch as I give the project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Torture the Flesh (Blu-ray) – For the past year a serial killer has made a name for himself killing all over town causing the lead detective grasping for answers. Detective Frank is an over the hill cop who is a smidge away from retirement but believes he may have gotten the break he needs with a recent mother-to-be/wife and young kid being murdered by the serial killer. In comes the widow Daniel who wants answers from the frustrated detectives as he has plans to get his revenge. As the killer eludes capture the story keeps coming back to Daniel and Detective Frank until the very end. As each new murder happens they get even more grisly than the murder before in this low budget Indy feature with a nice large budget gloss as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Witch Story (DVD) – A late 80s Eye-talian flick that starts in 1932 Florida where a witch is burned to death while her kid watches. Of course the witch curses everyone there and their offspring which brings us 57 years later where a pair of siblings (brother and sister) inherits the house the witch owned. Ed and Carol see this as an opportunity for them and friends to fix the place up but immediately when they arrive the evil is awakened to kill all who have entered the home. We get a cursed house, a story that doesn’t quite make a lick of sense, one demonic blowjob, kissing cousins, a creepy priest/I am not a priest, and an ending that has you asking why the witch just wanted to hold her child in purgatory just to lure victims to the house? Point is its weird as I give the film 2 stars.
Leech (YouTube) – Here is another Indy project from David Dawson out of the state of Illinois that gave me a very pandemic vibe of making this film. Anyway we are introduce to Darklord of Loves Park who pretty much live streams everything he does: listening to music, making so-called music, eating a rat, going to the bar, asking for funds, etc. Mostly the Darklord seems to enjoy bickering with the group of people who do follow his streams until “Content Corner Mike” appears. Content Corner Mike begins uses his stream to try to get more subscribers to the Darklord because he believes the Darklord isn’t faking it and an interesting watch that’s different from most streams. But this decision leads to an unwanted feud and eventual violence in a very curious but realistic way that easily can be seen happening in real life. This no budget film can feel very rough around the edges but pay attention to the heart of this film because I think this had a great concept as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Teddy Told Me To (Tubi) – A film that is directed by Tom Devlin who is known more for his special make-up effects than directing has been dipping his toes into the genre of being a director. The plot of this flick takes place at a closed haunted attraction that a cute couple: Zoe and Danny buy up to reopen. It was originally closed because a young man wearing a bear mask lost his shit inside the attraction and killed people. Now reopening the man with the bear mask has returned to slaughter the haunters and all who enter. Not a huge fan of the ending but a lot of bodies pile up in this simple slasher that it keeps it bloody entertaining as I give it 2 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Supercock (Blu-ray) – An odd 70s film literally about “cockfighting”! What is actually really cool is watch the movie with the commentary done by Fred Olen Ray as he has never watched the film until he did this commentary as he has loads of fun stories to tell about all who were involved in this project. The plot is about an American cowboy taking his rooster to the Philippines for the first Olympic Cockfighting Championship. It is nowhere near a horror film as much as an adventure/comedy of sorts as once the prized rooster is there it gets kidnapped. Then there is a whole thing of misadventures of getting the bird to the fights in time to prove this cowboy knew exactly what he was doing. The movie was okay but the wonderful commentary performed by Fred Olen Ray help me learn a lot than about this project and about filmmaker Ross Hagen who was a part of this as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 (On Demand) – Surprised there was a sequel to that poor excuse for a movie adaption a year or so ago but more of these adaptions are coming so be prepared. This film goes completely out of its way while also sticking with the story of Pooh and Christopher Robin to give a much better horror film that makes you wish the first film never existed. The sequel picks up some time after the first film where Christopher Robin is pretty much declared a murderer by most in the town of Ashtown. Things have settled some but there is still people hunting down the potential Pooh and gang for execution. But Pooh and friends have had enough running and decide it is time to take out their frustrations on Ashtown and leave a bloody trail through the town looking for Christopher. More goes on with all the characters that actually give this a much interesting and fun backstory, But I say no more as that would be unfair to horror fans who haven’t seen this monster flick as I give it 3 stars.
Dressing Up Halloween: The Story of Ben Cooper, Inc. (On Demand) – This is a documentary that most likely will hit all people not just horror movie fans over the age of 35 of a man who changed a holiday with his company’s costume designs. The original business was in Brooklyn, New York where people were proud to work there and happy to see their work every Halloween. The doc goes through all the characters, licensing of them, how these famous costumes were made, etc. along with interviews of people who worked in the Ben Cooper warehouse. It’s fun as they go through all the boxes, the art, and the famous costumes a lot of us wore as kids for Halloween as I give it 3 stars.
The Icing (DVD) – One of the first films from Derek Braasch in 2014 is a no budget crime thriller which I wasn’t expecting. But to give credit where it’s due as the filmmaker gives us a well-executed late 90s mob feel kind of film that may run a little too long but in the end a definite solid watch. It begins with an ex-cop, Fin Scott, being offered $100,000 for a hit on a local Senator. Senator Bellows is taken out, Finn soon finds out the very beautiful younger wife is the person that ordered it as things get very messy from there. The characters are believable, I enjoyed what was pulled off to make this project happen so kudos to all involved as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Maxxxine (Max) – So the third film in the trilogy (X, Pearl), in which I am not a huge fan of Mia Goth to begin with but since it’s a horror film I was curious to see how Ti West was gonna end this saga? It is now 1985; Maxine is a popular porn star who would like to make it in the mainstream acting world. The background is set with “The Night Stalker” murders taking place at the same time as everything comes to a head of Maxine’s career. So when a friend or two is murdered, detectives and a sleazy private investigator begin to follow her for different reasons as Maxine’s past has caught up to her finally. I can understand why horror fans enjoyed this film a lot but in the end it was not for me as I just felt I didn’t need this story of Maxine? Maybe it is because I am hung up on ‘X’ should have been a stand-alone film… don’t know. The picture is another piece of solid 80s nostalgia and I cannot complain with that as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Night of Terror (YouTube) – Here is an 18 minute horror short from Jim Campbell that sets the tone immediately as his picture takes place “Friday the 13th in October”. This is the type of picture I like seeing once in a while as it is being told through music, sounds, and actions not dialogue holding on to that old school classic silent film vibe. The story follows a man home alone that evening that is haunted by something ghastly in his dreams and his reality. Thought the film was quite entertaining, loved how it was shot and just loved the atmosphere it was going for as I give Mr. Campbell’s short film 3 out of 4 stars.
The Emasculator (Blu-ray) – This newer SOV flick centers around a young woman named Cindy and her father who haven’t had the best relationship since the passing of Cindy’s mother. After another argument Cindy heads out on a date with a guy who has a whole other definition of a date as Cindy sadly learns the hard way. Cindy is raped and filmed to her father’s dismay in a hotel room and instead of listening to Cindy’s wishes of letting it go he takes upon himself for revenge with a tool used for castrating cattle. He doesn’t just want revenge but to mutilate these sick men. This SOV flick is a fun ride through sleaze, revenge, a love for a daughter, which the film has a sick twist that may leave you disliking all characters involved as it gave off Nailgun Massacre vibes to me. Just for that folks I got give this picture 3 ½ out of 4 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Halloween Massacre (Tubi) – A no budget UK horror film that comes in under 60 minutes and looks like hacked up project or pieces of film splice together has a pissed off lady Valentina looking for revenge. Apparently in the small town of Charnwood an escaped convict dressed as a clown has found other killer clown friends as they lure people into their weird home to murder. Valentina is hell bent on tracking down this horrible killer and killing him herself. There are only two redeeming scenes in this stupid mess: a) A clown faking a punch to a pregnant lady’s belly a couple times and b) the killer clown pushing a watermelon up inside a woman’s sensitive area. Outside of those two scenes the film is not very watchable so consider yourself warned if you go looking as I give it 0 stars.
Horny Teenagers Must Die! (Tubi) – An Indy feature that has a group of high school graduates all of whom are the stereotypes of slasher films past heading to a weekend cabin party. Once the young people have sex they are slaughtered shortly after. The film does a solid job of a slasher film but its biggest flaw is it does nothing or even try to do something to make it stand out from the crowd of imitators as I could only give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars.
Swabian Granny Gore Terror (Blu-ray) – This crazy no budget gore flick is straight out of Germany in 2019 where the film can also be found under the title ‘Demonic Murder Granny’. Some bitchy old lady eats a random jar of raspberries from 1867 in her basement to quickly transform into a monster. Once transformation is completed she is on the hunt to launch an assault on drug-addled criminals, lazy construction dudes, rando dudes getting high, and a handicapped dude for shits and giggles. So if you consider entertainment “crazy granny killing randos in a gory manner” then this project is for you as I give it 2 stars.
Livescream (Blu-ray) – Scott is a gamer who streams his game playing online and has gathered a few followers over the time he has been doing it. Well an unknown fan has sent Scott a new horror game to play online for his audience. Scott is excited as he jokes with it being called a “haunted game” but also finds it a little sketchy that he had no knowledge of this game existing? Scott reads the instructions non-seriously then jumps into the gameplay but quickly dies in the game as this is where the movie takes a turn as the game explains there are consequences with playing this horror game. The viewers of Scott quickly become victims as they mysteriously disappear or killed but the kick in the ass is Scott will die also if he quits. As he continues with the gameplay Scott increasingly becomes nervous that his viewers are literally dying by his hands if he doesn’t accomplish finishing each level. I honestly haven’t played video games on any regular basis since I completed Resident Evil 3 on my PlayStation (or otherwise I am old) but I quite enjoyed the premise of the film, the design, and the bare bones but effective storytelling. For a gamer or a younger movie watcher it will feel interactive if you allow yourself to be entertained as I give this no budget project 3 out of 4 stars.
Hell’s Trap (Blu-ray) – Here is a 1989 Mexican thriller about two macho dudes who want to settle their competition with each other by going bear hunting in the mountains. A bear has recently been blamed for a few deaths of hunters who were recently there so what better way to settle a bet between friends than going bear hunting. They are warned they may find more than they bargain for which of course they quickly find in a crazed American war vet who wears a mask, has a bat cave, and a Freddy glove aka metal bear claw to slaughter folks that come looking his way. Nacho and friends have enough charm along with the crazy killer to keep horror fans entertained for this one as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Dinosaur Prison (Tubi) – A trio of women break into a highly secured (which is laughable) prison that is being used for animal testing. To the young ladies surprise they find dinosaurs imprisoned in the cells. Honestly this idea should have died in the first two minutes when no one questions them wandering around taking pictures but ignore the giant plot hole including the security guard that never shoots them but threatens too way too many times to count. Anyhow the women are captured by security and a weird so-called doctor dude that looks like an extra from a Willy Wonka stage play explains he is behind the experiments but he needs them to get the word out about the dinosaurs. Sounds all well and good until the so-called high-tech prison (again, where are your cameras) malfunctions and the dinosaurs find themselves free to start eating people. I wanted to laugh more at this film but it kept trying to be too serious as I can only give it a ½ star.
Murder for Pleasure (DVD) – An early project from filmmaker Derek Braasch that was released in 2016 as its plot revolves around a young man named Victor. Victor goes to see a professional as he struggles with his anger ever since his parents were killed in a restaurant several years ago. Victor’s struggles are getting the best of him as the only answer seems to be to kill those who he believes deserve it to calm the tendencies. As the film progresses Victor doesn’t just murder people but also torture them as he ups the level of violence ‘August Underground’ style! The story of Victor has flaws but it is something that can be seen as entertaining in the sense of a young man losing himself in his insanity and loss of parents at a young impressionable age as I give the Indy film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Tsunami Sharks (YouTube) – Another shark flick out of the UK where this time around an unlikely tsunami hits a European city and along with it comes blood thirsty sharks. As the water rises the sharks infest the city as they trap people in their homes, buildings, and restaurants, you get the picture. The people need to be quick on their feet as they try to survive and figure out how to escape the sharks. It is a quick stupid shark filled fun flick I give 2 stars too.
Mountain Shark (Tubi) – Just another rando shark film out of the UK area where this time a scientist has perfected an experiment of a shark living and swimming in the countryside mountains of the UK. Think ‘Tremors’ with bad CGI? Anyhow it was supposed to be a decommissioned military project but the shark has escaped. A non-descript group of military persons are brought in to supposedly capture the creature but the good doctor is using them to make his killing machine that much more perfect. There was something that bothered me in the middle of the film when the scientist is holding a gun on the military persons and kept looking away let alone the gun he had on them was going away from them too… Why didn’t one these fuckers fuck his ass up immediately? Isn’t this what they train for or am I weird movie nerd overthinking this and the movie would have been half as long? Anyway, if you get past the shark looking better in the original PSone Resident Evil game you will be entertained and enjoy as I give this 2 ½ stars.
Blood Tracks (DVD) – A relatively unknown weirdo flick from the mid-80s about a rock band “Solid Gold” going to a snowy mountain with an abandoned factory to shoot their latest music video. Unknown to those who have invaded these premises a family has been living off the grid in the factory over the past four decades. Think ‘The Hills Have Eyes” meets “Slaughterhouse” with snow! An avalanche and the camera man being attacked by something leads the crew to be on high alert but just speeds up the process as the family wastes no time murdering everyone in a bloody manner. One problem folks, even cleaned up there is still some dark scenes that you will keep you squinting to see as I give the film 2 ½ stars.
Dick Dynamite: 1944 (On Demand) – The latest crowd funded project involving Nazis getting their ass kicked in bloody style. Its 1944 and the Nazis have a new experimental liquid that they are testing on women and children that they want to drop on Manhattan to turn the whole city into zombies. Anyway Dick Dynamite is a big muscle bound soldier who is released from prison to lead his dirty half dozen to stop the Nazis ultimate plan. The project was shot over a couple of years and has a lot laughs and gore but if you are like me you have seen this type of film maybe one too many times? It isn’t terrible but its non-ending in my opinion didn’t help me liking this film as I place this in the category of the “trailer looks better than the finished project” as I give it 2 stars.
Backwoods Marcy (DVD) – This interesting project is a 1999 SOV film out of Sharkey Video directed by and stars the talented Dawn Murphy. A real estate dude named Donald is lost in the middle of nowhere for a meeting about a property he was going to check out. After picking up one hitchhiker to get his whistle wet he picks up another named Marcy. Marcy literally looks like a backwoods person who hates city folk but is very willing to help Donald for a ride to see her kin. When Donald gets upset by her smell he throws her out of the car with being lost and frustrated then accidently runs Marcy down with the car. This is where the real story begins as Marcy has Donald exactly where she wants him. Marcy catches her victim then proceeds to rape, torture, and cages Donald for her pleasure as she will kill anyone that comes sniffing around the campsite. The film is simply brilliant with its use of story, use of locations, and reversing the roles of backwoods horror as Marcy is relentless in making Donald her pet as that makes for an entertaining no budget film as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
It’s a Wonderful Knife (Shudder) – Winnie is a senior in high school looking forward to college and life is grand until a serial killer shows up to her small holiday town of Angel Falls. Then Winnie’s life is changed forever as she just happens to kill the serial killer and he is unmasked to reveal it is the asshole real estate guy Mr. Waters who employees her father. One year later Winnie is stuck in a rut as it looks like all around her has forgotten the events of last Christmas except her. So just like the old holiday classic she wishes to never be born as this throws her into an alternate reality where everything is different as Mr. Waters own everything and still killing anyone who he feels is not a volunteer part of his end game. Winnie finds a new friend and they must kill again in order to restore Winnie’s reality? A holiday horror maybe aimed for the ‘Happy Death Day’ crowd but I still enjoyed it for what it was as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Santastein (Tubi) – A young man named Max has been stealing corpses in his spare time from the local morgue. He has a plan on restoring Santa as Max was the reason for Santa’s death several years ago and since then it doesn’t snow along with Santa no longer delivering presents. With the help of his friend’s Paige experiment his plan is to reanimate Santa to bring back Christmas! Sounds great in theory to Max until the undead Santa is slaughtering folks who are naughty. I enjoyed, I laughed at this project that doesn’t overthink it as it has fun with the story at hand as I give it 3 stars.
Junk Bonds: The Return of the Junk Bucket (Tubi) – In this Indy sequel Cassie is a survivor of a cannibal family who loves cutting off people’s junk. Yes it is a parody of ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ but with dicks! As the survivor Cassie is recaptured by the family they want to celebrate their son’s special day with strippers of course which sets in motion a whole new batch of dick cutting and vagina stabbing. I could never tracked the first film so of course I just went ahead and watched the sequel first as fans of old school Troma will be happy seeing this project keeping the Troma spirit alive as I give the film 2 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
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