Gross Movie Reviews #574

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Gross Movie Reviews #574

Doctor Death Seeker of Souls (DVD) – This hilariously fun horror flick from the early 70s centers around a man name Fred who is trying to get over his wife’s death and feeling somewhat guilty? Last thing she said to Fred is, “she will return to him”. Fred hanging on to this spends several months tracking down séances, etc., trying to contact his wife, but no luck. Fred is introduced to Doctor Death who has a mysterious past and works like a magician but not so fast he has some dark powers of transference or transferring a soul to another body for a certain fee of course. Doctor Death is paid $50000 by Fred but nothing happens… Disgusted by the act Fred calls it quits and starts bumping uglies with his hot assistant. But Doctor Death cannot let it go and begins a murder spree of women trying to make this one transference right? I believe this glorious 70s cheese still works and worth checking it out like I did if you never heard of it as I give it 3 stars.

The Weirdsies (Blu-ray) – One of the last films from Indy filmmaker Chris Seaver in 2015 who now has turned to doing episodic TV for his You Tube channel did a disturbing parody of ‘Stand by Me’. A funny but yet disturbing adventure of four friends who want to lose their “V-card” during the summer. Their adventure is because they know about a dead body and the plan is to go to it and fuck the shit out of it because supposedly after death the male boner stays erect for 48 hours? (I wasn’t going to look this shit up but you gotta admit, real or not, that’s funny.) If that wasn’t enough there is a group of bullies that want to beat these four virgins to the punch by finding the body first to ruin a good time. And for just for extra spice there is about 40 second-rant about running into cannibal hipsters that I am still laughing about many days after watching. Chris Seaver: intelligent, dumb, or indifferent I was never a huge fan of his work but throughout his independent film career he does seem to surprise me with a project where I believe he shows off a talent that separates himself from just being average. As he proves one more time with this timeless funny adventure I give 3 out of 4 stars.      

The Scarlet Agency (DVD) – Witch Doctor Films is back with another entry into the “Anton Rook” series. Anton Rook is no longer a trusted man by the agency but things change when an evil man may have found a way to produce an invisible man that would lead to making an invisible army for world domination. This invisible man seeks out Rook’s help to try and stop this madman and with Rook’s new protégé they craft a plan but as usual not all as it seems in Rook’s universe as no one can ever be trusted. As usual this independent film is well-crafted and goes from just feeling another fan-made episode of ‘Doctor Who’ to reaching deeper into the character of Rook and making it more of a well-crafted Indy James Bond flick! Well done my friends at Witch Doctor Films as yinz continue to go against the grain and produce some different and exciting independent projects to sometimes a stale genre of filmmaking as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Blood Thirst (DVD) – A lesser known murder/mystery from the Philippines where several murders have taken place where women have been strung up and drained of blood. Miguel the lead investigator has a world renowned detective friend in New York and has asked him into his country to help solve these vicious murders. The detective a super white dude acts as a tourist to not attract attention while helping Miguel but both uncover something more sinister than they ever thought as the bloodless bodies continue to pile up! Maybe not the best serial killer film but definitely a good one from 1971 that has a little twist to what exactly is going on as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Without Warning (Blu-ray) – This is 1980 alien invasion flick that has a lot of cool people infront of the camera and behind the camera at the same time. An alien has landed on Earth in a mountain countryside of course where it is able to do its thing without question. A couple of cub scouts and hunters hanging out in the woods find this out the hard way as the alien throws starfish blood suckers at them like ninja stars! After some friends get separated and a couple become dinner for the killer starfish and alien their friends want revenge and go to the local tavern to meet up with a crazy war vet and a mean loner. The second half of the film is mostly the characters of Sarge and Taylor fighting over who is going to kill the alien instead of actually doing the deed. The Blu-ray has a few interesting extras that make this package exciting for horror film collectors to have their collection but I have always viewed this film as “one of those should have been better with all who were attached?” as I give the film 2 stars but the Blu-ray package itself 3 ½ stars.

Slugs (Blu-ray) – Plain and simple this is a horror film about killer slugs! A small rural town where people are getting eaten up killer slugs that may have mutated in the sewers when they were disturbed by a new strip mall project. The project is being built on top of an old chemical dumping area during the 60s and 70s and they have broken the seal causing the slugs to feast on human flesh! The heroes are two utility workers who must figure a way out to kill these things before they infest the whole town. The Blu-ray is well worth investment if a fan of the film as not only the film looks great restored as I believe for decades we all had that VHS/DVD release? But also this package has a couple commentaries and a few short interviews that leads into why and where this movie got made which I never knew the film was Spanish, cool shit people. I give this new Blu-ray package of ‘Slugs’ 3 ½ stars.

Homebodies (VHS) – This is a creepy and disturbing mid-70s film that may stick with you as a group of older folk are being driven out of their homes in the name of progress. Their buildings have been condemned and slowly they are being escorted out of their apartments where their have lived most of their adult lives. With construction happening all around them the leader of their group Mattie has a plan as she likes to watch the work go on or I should say her plan go into action? The group slowly sabtoges the new construction in order to have their evictions delayed but the rich boss doesn’t care how many of his crew die its progess! But these old folk will kill whoever gets in their way. It is terribly sad, hilarious, and screwed up all at the same time with an ending I really enjoyed. Been looking for a lesser sadistic horror film to brighten your day look no further than this film as I give the 1974 feature 3 stars.

Miami Connection (DVD) – Ninjas, a biker gang, with cocaine fighting a pop band in Miami who also just happen know martial arts… Yep, I will watch that shit! This 1987 film is like one big 86 minute fight scene that includes cheesy music that feels like it was stolen from an early Nintendo game as I give it 2 ½ stars for just entertaining the hell out of me.

A Meowy Dark Timeline (www.SteveBuster.com) – So Steve Rudzinski fans, Steve continues to make entertaining content for his streaming service outside of his wonderful features as this one is a short five part series that involves all the characters you know and love. The evil emperor is in another universe and has found a way to conquer this alternate universe as it fights its way through several of Steve’s characters from past films. This is a project full of heart for all those people who nerd out over what the talented Mr. Rudzinski has created over the years. You will laugh, you might cry, but Steve knows what to give his fans when it comes to content. So you asked for it and Steve provides as I give this short series project 4 out of 4 stars for the mere reason finding a way to include everything and available at www.stevebuster.com or on Blu-ray at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

Hell of the Evil Dead (Blu-ray) – Rock Bottom Video who continue to produce smart and different horror titles for the Indy world to eat up has this fun project from a few years back that stars the talents of Brian Papandrea, Sadie Tate, and Nathan Rumler. This isn’t your ordinary feature as they go with a dubbed Italian version (regular English version is on the Blu-ray) to give the feature even more of a fun “Italian filmmaking feel” and it worked. Four friends go camping and stumble upon a graveyard out in the forest that after finding it weird things begin to happen: the path disappears, weird creature like sounds, and day turns to night without changing back. The four move deeper into the woods hoping to outlast or outrun this evil presence but things only get much worse when they find a trailer/cottage with a lone survivor to tell his story of what happened. Great acting, love the whole Italian dubbed thing as it gave the film a whole different feel to it, great pacing, and some good special effects work (head exploding). Indy fan don’t let the title fool you this film needs to be seen. Plus, there is a couple extras that include a disturbing “lost scene” from the film that needs to be witnessed (Thank you Nathan Rumler and Brian Papandrea for not taking yourselves too serious, that extra is glorious) as I give this film 3 ½ out of 4 stars. (Rock Bottom Video can be found on Facebook)

Robo Warriors (DVD/YouTube) – Kids, ‘Robot Jox 3’ or ‘2’ has been found… Wait a second there was another one? Yep, I didn’t know either until I was watching something that was sent to me by a great movie friend. The film is based on Stuart Gordon characters, has Richad Band’s music, giant robots fighting in the future for mankind, distributed by Paramount… Sounds like a sequel to me!? Anyway, by 2036 some aliens invade Earth and are complete dicks as they enslave mankind. A group of resistance fighters led by James Remar make their way into a jungle to recover an Earthbot. This is their only chance to survive and protect the planet. The mission fails but Remar’s character Gibson escapes and disappears. Some time passes but a kid has done his research and believes he can get the Earthbot going again if he can find it? With the help of Gibson they retrieve it and give humans hope again but they must use it to fight in one huge Robot battle with control of the world in the balance. Full Moon and Empire fans will go ape shit over watching this and if they never had the pleasure of stumbling over this feature as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #573

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Gross Movie Reviews #573

Nightmares (Blu-ray) – A wonderful anthology film from the early 80s that might be best known for the video game segment. Funny thing by time 1990 rolled around not only was this film no longer playing on cable TV it seem to disappear with the video stores as music rights kept this film from a whole generation of horror fans from seeing if not halfway into a second generation. Unlike most anthologies this didn’t have a wraparound or a horror host! This gave you chapters that didn’t run too long and for me at least was a fun rewatch a great revisit and reminds me to explain to horror fans you haven’t seen all the anthologies until you seen this one? Anyway, the first chapter deal with the killer is in the backseat of the car. The second chapter is the one everybody remembers where Emilio before the killer trucks takes on a video game where the graphics are horrible by today’s standards but he is obsessed with a video game. The third story is one of my favorites called; “Benediction” where Lance Henriksen is a priest that has lost his way and finds the devil in the desert in a blacked-out window Silverado that he must battle. Then the fourth story is the Devil Rat where it is trying to eat a kid! Sorry kids under 30, next to “Creepshow” I absolutely enjoy this movie and knowing it is out legit on Blu-ray is just a wonderful feeling as I give it 3 ½ stars.   

Bikini Bloodbath Car Wash (DVD) – A sequel from 2008 and that is written and directed by “who in the fuck cares” (literally) this film star Debbie Rochon who runs a car wash whose employees are beautiful nubile women. Once these young women pull out an Ouija board and bring a killer chef back to life. If you want boobs this film has it, if you are looking for a story you might wanna check out the next feature? Honestly I know this was a thing in 2006, 2007, 2008, etc., but just don’t feel it holds up well as I give it 1 ½ stars just for Debbie Rochon.

Steel-Man the Movie (DVD) – This is the 2 hour and 12 minute theatrical cut not the 3 hour plus cut that is available if interested? Our film begins with our hero covered in blood and desperately trying to explain what had happened to him or how he got there? The story is from David Michael Palmer Jr. who is Steel-Man in which for movie sakes runs two successful businesses out of the old C3 Mall and the biggest Italian boss in town owns it. Of course the two entities do not get along. This Italian mob boss is trying to figure out how to get rid of Steel-Man so he is able to sell off the old C3 Mall. But things do not go well when you combine satanic strippers at Club Ballz that causes a bunch of zombie shit to happen at the Steel-Man Comi-con! From there is only one hero you can count on and that is Steel-Man to figure out the cause and how to clean up the mess caused by the zombie horde at the comi-con. This super ambitious Indy superhero project has its moments, has some laughs, has a good amount of blood, references to NOTLD,  but the running time will always be something Indy fans will not be happy with as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Harvest of Blood (DVD) – A short horror film where a kid Benny visits Mr. Boo the scarecrow on regular basis to have conversations with him. The neighbors are not happy but who cares as the kid isn’t doing anything to their lawn but the kid gets murdered in front of Mr. Boo and that is when things change? This murder of the kid and his belief brings Mr. Boo to life to seek revenge… You can find the film at www.leagacyverseproductions.com and I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Rotten Harvest (DVD) – A sequel to 2012s ‘Harvest of Blood’ that deals with a tight knit family who bring an individual to their cornfield to seek revenge for his transgressions. But this Mr. Boo’s cornfield and he is cleaning up the cornfield he watches over as I give this short film 2 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.legacyverseproductions.com .

Fear the Reaper (DVD) – A beautiful young woman is having horrific dreams of other people being murdered by a figure in a dark costume or a reaper costume. These dreams/visions are haunting the young lady and they are not what they seem as she is being used by a demonic force? Kinda hard to explain but an interesting concept as I give the film 2 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.legacyverseproductions.com .

Reaper Reborn (DVD) – The story of the “Reaper” continues as it was thought to be dead but rises again to murder as it is a very hard to kill presence. This short film mainly deals with the Reaper pissed off and looking to fight a young witch. This film feels incomplete and for good reason as it’s just a hold over for the next film or finale in the “Reaper” series. This should have not been by itself but just combined with the next project “Absence of Evil”, unless it was originally a web series or something but still then should have been one whole project as I give it 1 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.legacyverseproductions.com .

In the Absence of Evil (DVD) – Another entry into the “reaper” series where this picks up right after the demonic force is supposedly defeated by the young witch? This event just sends ordinary people into random killing rages and copying the “Reaper” or is he just gathering an army? Again this would have felt completed if it was one movie with ‘Reaper Reborn’ but you will be lost without the other as I give this 1 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.legacyverseproductions.com .

Reaper’s Revenge (DVD) – Supposedly the finale of the ‘Reaper’ series as the beginning of the film does its best to get everyone up to speed what has happened and what’s going on? The Reaper and the witch have gone back and forth for the better part of three films but this time around as it is using dumb humans to do his bidding it is able to kill the witch… Of course that isn’t it as we got demonic presence, vampires, vampire hunters, witches, and time travel as the Reaper believes he has reached his “Endgame”? I may only give this whole series 1 or 1 ½ out of 4 stars but believe different actors but same people behind the camera and script this series may have turned out a little better in my opinion as you can also find this at www.legacyverseproductions.com .

A Midsummer Nightmare (DVD) – A woman who is trapped in her own dream loop where she has had enough and just wants to end the madness? But the biggest issue is she is a part of something screwing with her for its investigation. I give this little project 2 out of 4 stars.

Evil Laugh (DVD) – First time watch for this rather lesser known slasher horror flick where a group of med students are invited to a fancy home for the weekend. Once there the group is supposed to help fix it up to be a good foster home for their friend Jerry but the home has a terrible past and a killer still haunts the grounds of the home. Not a real exciting slasher film that might be better known for starring Scott Baio’s brother than actually being a film you are willing to watch as I give it 1 ½ stars.   

Ten Doors (DVD) – Filmmaker Gordy Price is back with a new project that is best known for ‘Music Store Massacre’ in 2014. This is a tough tale about a character named Gabe who after dying in 1865 visits several realties or limbos depending how you take this? Is it hell or is it purgatory and is he supposed to try and save people along the way as there is talk of restoring order and murder is okay… Devil, limbo, and a question about suicide make this film not your typical Indy project that has an odd Twin Peaks feel to it. Seems like a well-produced project but in the end I feel like I am missing something and that this will be a film hard to sell to Indy horror fans that are used to tits, blood, S.O.V., shaky-cam and sometimes a horrible sock monster as I give this project 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #572

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Gross Movie Reviews #572

The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue (Blu-ray) – Many people also know it as ‘Let Sleeping Corpses Lie’ but that doesn’t stop it from being a popular zombie flick among horror fans. George an antiques dealer heads out to the country to get away from people and industry for the weekend but that is thrown into chaos when a ditzy woman named Christina backs over his bike. Together the two head out to Christina’s sisters’ place. Things go bad when Christina cannot stop talking about the beast that came for her. The two arrive to find the sister in hysterics and the husband dead and the detective believes “the damn hippie”, George, is capable of doing the dirty deed. Now the two must stick around for the investigation but after some of their own research George believes it is the ultra-sonic radioactive device being used experimentally to kill parasites on a farm is the cause. Got some gore, got some unstoppable zombies, and we got a cop that always believes the hippie did it so I am in as I give the film 2 ½ stars but 4 out of 4 stars all the way for Synapse Films going all out giving UK zombie fans an absolute pristine Blu-ray. The film looks beautiful, super colorful and it is like watching it for the first time again… Synapse made sure to pack this disc with a couple commentaries, a documentary on filmmaker Jorge Grau along with a few other goodies that will make you happy you made this purchase so go to www.synapse-films.com for your copy now.

Studio 666 (On Demand) – So The Foo Fighters are working on another album but have hit a snag? It is their tenth album and they are feeling pressure from their manager to make this happen but Dave Grohl and company haven’t got anything on paper. The manager super-hot with their pissing around sends them to a known haunted house in Encino, California to actually work on the new album. They all agree it has a great creepy death vibe but think nothing of it until weird things begin to happen and their roadie is killed while hooking up equipment. Meanwhile trying to continue on and Dave having writer’s block he does find the basement where he finds a bad ass never finished track from the band “Dream Widow”. He quickly becomes possessed and is determined to finish this epic song which will be the whole album! There are demons, possession, talk of Satan, great music, humor, and who would have guessed that Dave Grohl can actually act? Now I won’t go “one of the best films of 2022” but this was a lot of fun and a pleasant surprise for horror movie fans as I give it 3 stars.

Feeders 3 (DVD) – Mark Polonia dips into the Polonia Brothers archive to make the ‘Feeders’ franchise a trilogy. These two Indy cult films were from the mid to late 90s starring the brothers and Jon McBride and have garnished some fanfare from Indy collectors as some of the most fun films you could see? Well, 25 years later and the aliens have returned to harvest humans as the usual Polonia cast all make an appearance including “a photo and footage from the past two films of Jon McBride” (that was a nice touch). A F.B.I. agent is visiting Wellsboro, Pa. as it is the anniversary and been 25 years since the “Wellsboro 10” with the case never being solved. He is investigating the lone survivor Derek who is still hanging out in an asylum following the event many years ago but still trying to warn all the people Wellsboro aliens are coming to harvest them! To give the film some filler and humor is the filmmaker making a cheap film on the “Wellsboro 10” but that doesn’t even matter because the highlight might be the aliens setting a trap for Santa Claus… Cheesy and stupid but it made me laugh my ass off as I give this third entry into the “Feeders” franchise 2 ½ stars.

Dominion (DVD) – I am always a sucker for late 80s to mid-90s direct-to-video stuff. Especially when it stars Tim Thomerson and Brion James! Anyway a group of hunters head for a super special secluded hunting/camping grounds that is run by Lynnwood Adventures. But after an accident last year the owner Lynnwood hasn’t been seen or heard from much leaving his partner in charge. So when Harris and his group are being shot at by a sniper on a bridge in the mountains its Lynnwood who wants revenge on all hunters for accidentally killing his kid. Not the best of action flicks but I am a sucker for stuff like this every time and I give it 2 stars.

Bloody Pit of Horror (DVD) – A fun oddball flick from the 60s where the legend of The Crimson Executioner is still haunting a castle over 300 years later. He was entombed into his own device the ‘Iron Maiden’ (insert Bill and Ted joke here) to never be opened. But the tomb is accidentally opened when a group of people who break into the castle to take risky photographs using the castle as the backdrop. Soon people are being murdered and could it be the Crimson Executioner is back? Or is it the retired strong man who has lost his marbles living there? Anyway the whole time I kept waiting for Santo or Batman to show up. Looking for pointless fun then make this your first stop as this film caused me to laugh quite a few times as I give it 2 ½ stars.

New Year’s Evil (Blu-ray) – I will admit I have only watched this film twice in my life this being the third and very late to the party of seeing this early holiday slasher. Hell, this one gets forgotten often when horror fans talk slashers? Anyhow third time was a charm because this updated Blu-ray from Kino Lorber is ridiculously awesome! There were literally whole scenes I had never understood because of how crappy the quality was on the other versions I watched.  But anyhow TV host is counting down the ‘New Wave’ music each hour until the ball drops but there is a killer on the loose named “Evil” who is killing a person for each time zone. Can he be stopped in time before he kills Blaze? It has its moments but nowhere as good as some of the other holiday titles but this Blu-ray is a definite for the hardcore collectors out there as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Dash Cam (On Demand) – If you took the recent film ‘Spree’ and the found footage film ‘Area 51’ jammed them together and make sure the lead character is a despicable American you will hate in the first five minutes of the film that is your film here? Anyhow Annie doesn’t believe in the pandemic and flies to the UK to fuck with her friend who is living a different life during the pandemic. Annie like most young people has a live stream show called “Band Car” where she is constantly rapping or just recording everything she does. Annie is having a good old time being a complete asshole until she meets Angela and her weirdness and still finds a way to be an asshole and a classic example why many people believe humanity should just end since we all have no common sense any longer? For the most part this film wasn’t made for me and I think making the Annie character such an asshole along with the scrolling on the side of the screen takes away from any momentum you are trying to scare people with the Angela character. I give this quickly forgotten film 1 star.

Art House Massacre (DVD) – This 2012 film is hidden in plain sight called ‘Art of Darkness’ but its original title is so much better and makes so much more sense. Besides three minutes in we have a great eye gouge scene there is an artist who works with flesh let’s say. Liz is a model who has taken a break because she and the boyfriend try to have a baby I believe and they lost it. She takes a modeling gig begrudging but knows they need the money. She meets the artist/serial killer and is kidnapped for far more demented reasons. Ben the boyfriend pursues looking for her with no answers and the cops being to slow but both parties find out much more unsettling truths about the artist once they start digging hoping for a clue to find Liz. This was a nice surprise as the usual ‘massacre’ crap is crap where this was a nice sadistic serial killer film that I give 2 ½ stars.

Nightmare Beach (Blu-ray) – Great cast, its 1988, Umberto Lenzi is connected to this project, it stars John Saxon and Michael Parks, I felt like I was in for a cheeseball treat! A notorious biker Diablo is executed right before spring break in South Florida for a murder he did not commit. But justice was done to make the mayor happy until it isn’t long before Diablo’s grave is disturbed and a mysterious biker is roaming the streets for rando spring breakers to execute them. This movie doesn’t disappoint with the 80s cheese as the whole thing comes down to a cover up by John Saxon’s cop character and the mayor. I had a lot fun watching this for the first time and looks absolutely wonderful, again thank you Kino Lorber as I give it 3 stars.

Frankenstein 1970 (DVD) – No where the best of the Boris Karloff films but Karloff plays the Baron Frankenstein who is concerned about his legacy? Being broke and needing money for equipment he allows a film crew into his castle and begins to even interact with the filming while he is busy with his toilet paper Frankenstein in his secret lair! It does drag a good bit but when Boris is on screen this late 50s flick is must see just to enjoy Karloff just because as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Jurassic Thunder (DVD) – This 2019 film tries to be funny but fails miserably as a comic book store owner opens a one of a kind comic to read the tale of zombies, dinosaurs, and the military trying to stop WWIII from happening. A dictator in Africa has unleashed something horrible on the world and the U.S. and Russia don’t want to use nukes so let’s use commando dinosaurs. Sounds like it could be a lot of fun but instead is a lot of jokes falling flat and bad CGI that makes Asylum look like they make “JAWS” every time out as I give this turd 0 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #571

0

Gross Movie Reviews #571

The Hunger (DVD) – This 1983 vampire flick that stars David Bowie, Susan Sarandon, and Cliff DeYoung has always intrigue me…Mainly because I had seen it on cable TV way back in the early days of cable and completely forgot about it because I was a kid. This movie never impacted me like “The Monster Squad” or a “Halloween” even but I finally felt it was time to revisit this film and it is either ahead of its time or quite misunderstood since I don’t hear many horror movie fans bring this one up? Anyway, Miriam and John (David Bowie) are lovers and Miriam has lived many centuries and when she has had enough of her lover they tend to age and die quickly. John becomes very concerned feeling their love is over and finds a doctor (Susan Sarandon) who has made some interesting breakthroughs? Soon the good doctor Sarah is wrapped up in some erotic weirdness and cannot decide if she is love or there believing this will further her research? The film has an erotic charm to it deserves a second look as it doesn’t play by the vampire rules we all grew up with as I give this vampire feature 3 stars. Also too if you wanna do some prep work to help get more interested into this film there is a lot of great facts about the behind the scenes stuff that made me just happy to give this a second watch.

The Sadness (Shudder) – Honestly I don’t know if more can be said about this wonderful virus infection flick from Taiwan other than it will be on my “Best of 2022 list”. The pandemic is the backdrop and the virus has yet mutated again according to background news reports that like most of us we are not paying attention. But this mutation is different as those who are sick soon go into a fit of rage, rape, murder, and even a little cannibalism. As most of the population has lost its mind two young lovers try to navigate the city to find each other again! But what separates this “The Crazies” type of film from a lot of horror films is the violence, gore, the madness ramps up as the film goes along. When one crazy thing happens, give it ten minutes and you get to see something even more nutzoid! The film was wonderful, beautiful and played just right but funny thing and this is just me nit picking at shit but I can honestly say I wanted let’s just say a little happier ending without spoiling the fun? Anyway I still give this horror flick 4 stars and must see for horror fans this year. 

Super Dark Times (DVD) – A couple teenage best friends are screwing around with each other as usual until an accident with a sword happens. Instead of reporting the accident they bury it. As the days pass the friends fall down a deep hole of darkness trying to cope and move past the accident. But there is a problem the sword is missing and now a couple more people have gone missing at school. I really like the tone of this screwed up flick because I think it hits on a very believable string of events as I give this film 3 ½ stars.

The Chain Reaction (DVD) – Another crazy Australian film from 1980 that is an environmental action/drama that stars Toecutter and Goose from “Mad Max” and watch close because Mel Gibson shows up for a quick one line. But we have an earthquake that hits an area where a toxic waste dumping plant (WALDO) has a spill where an employee is involved and taken to their infirmary. Heinrich the employee is upset because he knows the spill is horrendous and believes the public should be warned. But the corporation feels much differently about this. What the corporation doesn’t know Heinrich had been approached by an outside source explaining the dangers of a spill if it ever happens? Heinrich escapes, warns his source, and along the way finds a young vacationing couple, the Stilsons, who help take care of him. But soon WALDO’s boss Gray tracks them all down and plans silencing everyone so any info about the spill will go away. Think dramatic dangers of nuclear waste in the early 80s with some bad ass car chases as I give the film 3 stars.

Castle Falls (DVD) – Dolph Lundgren stars, directs, and produces this feature that also stars another action film favorite Scott Adkins. Castle Heights Hospital is about to be demolished in 90 minutes to make way for new condominiums but three parties in Mike, Ericson, and a gang member claiming they are owed money are about to risk their lives for a couple million dollars hidden in the structure. All three are desperate for different reasons but just like “Trespass” with Ice-T, Bill Paxton this type of film is still mindless fun for 90 minutes as I give it 3 stars.

Virus: 32 (Shudder) – A Spanish film where a mother who isn’t exactly excited to have her young daughter today has to take her along to work at an empty club she guards. After a fun quick tour the two quickly realize the world outside is changing. Virus infected people are trying to make their way into the club to kill them both. Red marks on the hands of people can help identify the infected as Iris and Tata are separated in the club and try desperately to find each other as the infected are only satisfied by violence. Enjoyed the premise of the film and liked the rules of the infected as like “The Sadness” the twist makes for good memorable horror stuff as I give this 3 ½ stars.

House on the Edge of the Park (Blu-ray) – Severin Films recently released this sleazy revenge flick with a crazy amount of extra goodies for the horror kids to filter through. The movie from 1980 begins in the city where a rich couple stops in a garage that happens to have two lunatics Alex and Ricky getting ready for a night of dancing and partying. But after fixing the couple’s car they head off with the couple to the “get together”. Once there Alex immediately sees or believes the rich douchebags are taking advantage of his buddy. So Alex allows his demented brain to take over and turn the tables on these rich folk believing they need to be taught real respect? Alex always has a plan as he slowly beats and tortures the group that even includes controlling his friend Ricky. Thus making for a great set up ending as David Hess just seems to relish the role of the sadistic Alex. I enjoyed the film for what it is and just like “Last House on the Left” I needed to take a shower after watching it. This is just another example of why we all need more David Hess in our lives as I give the film 3 stars.

Amityville Outhouse (DVD) – Just when I thought I was done I get pulled back in as entry #37 finds me through the talented filmmaker Maddie Deering and her love for independent films. This 60 minute adventure is literally a hodgepodge of an anthology where a hobo in the woods stops a man from taking a shit in a haunted outhouse! Reminder even the filmmaker of the film doesn’t want the viewer to take this dumb outhouse thing seriously. With that the crazy hobo explains the outhouse is built from lumber from Amityville or left over demolished houses, honestly does it actually matter? Then the hobo tells three stories concerning a killer panda at a party, a priest pooping out a puppet, and a mobster fighting The Meatman. The first 15 minutes were funny but by the 30 minute mark I wanted to be watching something else and should have been limited to a short film? I actually hoped for something else but 37 entries in I got this so I give it 1 star.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #570

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Gross Movie Reviews #570

Zombie Flesh Eaters 5 (Blu-ray) – This is an alternate cut of Dustin Ferguson’s ‘Zombi VIII: Urban Decay’ and of course playing off the titles from the early to late 80s where certain films would have several titles depending on the territory it was sold too? Example: Dawn of the Dead was actually known as Zombi in Italy breaking off into a whole other series. Long story short it made American horror fans nuts sometimes trying to track these down before the DVD came along… Anyhow, three friends head off to Matool Island which is claimed to be a cursed island? Once there they find a friend’s father who is undead and bring him back to America barely getting him through customs. Of course this is a bad idea kids but it makes for fun movies as the undead dude wastes no time infecting the residents of L.A. It comes off to me at least paying homage to ‘Zombi 3’ but in the end has that feeling of being incomplete but I still give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Clown Chainsaw Massacre (Blu-ray) – A Dustin Ferguson flick that is also known as ‘Night of the Clown’. It’s Halloween and some friends of course believe it’s a great idea to have their Halloween party where a killer clown was killed a decade ago. But behold and witness the “WHITEST Halloween party” you’ll ever imagine but that plays second fiddle to the Gacy Killer Clown Ghost thingy back for revenge! I am not a huge fan of killer clown films but kudos to Dustin for keeping this one watchable and not just another killer clown film for the shit pile that no horror fan will ever watch again as I give this film 2 out of 4 stars.

Black Raven (DVD) – This Kiss of Death Productions release was only seen on Pittsburgh Public Access Channel (PCTV 21) Halloween night 1997, but now is finally out on a limited release for all us independent film fans to see! Yet another early project from David and Diana Silvio that I am sure the Indy die hards will eat up. What makes this film different from the usual Indy fare is the Silvios like to mix things up instead of ever doing a straight up horror film so we get a bit of an action/horror/crime drama? Black Raven is a mysterious vigilante who is killing criminals and baffling the authorities. But Officer Murphy is making it personal to bring this psychopath to justice. But with the vigilante still running wild and Officer Murphy with not many answers he finds himself being fired and his investigation involving a mob boss… As the story unfolds and Murphy knowing the identity of the Black Raven Murphy is torn between saving or just out right killing the Black Raven. A weird, twisted, experiment, shot all over Pittsburgh, set as an action packed action horror drama! What else would you expect from the legendary and talented filmmaking duo of David and Diana Silvio as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.     

Creatures (DVD) – A field tripping group of people and a doctor are on a bus that is stopped by something strange hitting the windshield. They spot smoke and investigate to find an alien craft has crash landed. The group quickly is confronted by a small army of blue and green creatures that crave animal flesh and are able to infect humans if they only bite them. This in turn makes the humans or undead or zombies under control of the weirdo aliens. But the main plot of this low budget film comes down to the blue and green dudes hunting down a generic Gizmo character who befriends the humans in order to survive the ordeal. Weird, been done before kind of feeling and too exciting as I give it 1 ½ stars.

The Uncanny (DVD) – A British film with a great cast: Peter Cushing, Donald Pleasance, John Vernon filmed in 1975 but not released until 1977. The film is set in Montreal (present times) where Peter Cushing is Wilbur Gray an author who has written a book about cats and has claims they are not just ordinary pets? The publisher interested has a meeting with Gray but takes issue with the claims so Gray begins to tell the publisher three examples of why cats cannot be trusted. First story is set in 1912 where a maid is trying to steal the will of her employer to help the nephew get rich but in the will the cats get everything. Second story is set in (present times) where a little girl Lucy has recently lost her parents and is forced to live with her aunt who doesn’t care for Lucy’s cat or the witchcraft books that were left to her by her mother. Third story is set in Hollywood 1936 where an actor kills his wife on set by replacing a prop for the real thing for a young look-a-like replacement only to have his dead wife’s cat seek revenge. I enjoyed the film a lot but have quite a few flaws and one of them being the Cushing wraparound is great but doesn’t exactly fit his agenda for his book. Or this killer cat film is supposed to be an anthology but doesn’t feel like one like it was cobbled together after the fact. Who knows folks cats are still evil but don’t let that stop you from seeking this oddity out as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Malignant (DVD) – A newer James Wan flick where a woman Madison has had three miscarriages over the past couple years gets in a fight with her husband and wakes to find him murdered. After spending two weeks in the hospital she finds herself having visions of a dark force not just hanging out at her home but killing people. Slowly Madison and a detective find out she had a past before her adoption early on in her childhood. Her real name was Emily and she had parasitic twin who can control electricity and uses Emily/Madison’s body to kill people because it wasn’t completely removed during an experimental surgery. Think of an updated version of ‘The Dark Half’ with a little more twist to it as I give this fun little treat 3 stars.

Fangs (DVD) – If by some chance you have a hard time finding this cultish flick it is also known as ‘Holy Wednesday’. An odd mid-70s film about an old dude who has lots of snakes who turns them loose on those who have turned their backs on him. Because of this Wednesdays will never be the same again. You need some weirdness in your do not look past this one as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Gnomercy (DVD) – Giving ‘The New Mexico Weed Wacker Massacre’ a run for one of the worst films you could ever watch has a killer gnome come to human form to kill after a random dude pisses on him and drops his cocaine on the gnome. From there and because there was no budget for coming up with a real Gnome costume, it begins murdering random people. Meanwhile we are subjected to some terrible actors acting as friends heading to a cabin for one last weekend of fun. So when the gnome isn’t sharpening his tools he is killing the group one by one with some no imagination kills as I give this not fun bad film 0 stars.

Terror at Black Tree Forest (DVD/Tubi/remake) – This no budget UK film is a remake of a Dustin Ferguson film where a group of people head out in the forest for their yearly camping trip. After the boring story of the tater sack killer is told a killer in a tater sack starts to kill them one by one. The low budget slasher isn’t real exciting, but not real terrible in this slasher exception for the reveal which you know is coming before the filmmaker did as I give this 1 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #569

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Gross Movie Reviews #569

Zombies from Sector 9 (DVD) – A filmmaker named Rob Ceus has made this crazy Indy zombie flick out of Belgium! Anyway it is set back in 1986 where a nuclear accident has happened in Crittersville and the next day the recently deceased have become the undead. Three years have passed and Crittersville area or now called “Sector 9” is known to be the zombie outbreak area and a man known as Bookwalker roams the area but the outbreak is starting to spread beyond Sector 9. After Bookwalker loses his wife and kid this sets him on the path of destroying all zombies and vicious raiders alike in his path. The independent film with its gore-filled effects fits right in with the early works of a Todd Sheets or a J.R. Bookwalter that will make Indy fans crave to see this flick again and again. The only overall flaw of the film if I am going to point something out would be the pacing as it makes the film seem cobbled together at times but I still enjoyed as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

The Prison Island Massacre (DVD) – What in the Rutger Hauer have I found myself watching as I have dived deeper into the “massacre” genre with this 2007 film that is also known as ‘Angel of Death 2’ and ‘Women Behind Bars 4’ among a few other titles in a foreign languages. This German film stars the effects of Olaf Ittenbach and Jess Franco’s wife as the prison warden! If anything you know are in for something alright when you get wide shots of this mysterious island and the jail cells are held together by chains and padlocks. Young women are sent to this isolated prison to be tortured, killed, or worse for the warden’s pleasure… When there isn’t some weird German porn thing going on apparently prisoners escape on a regular basis to give the film some plot? If nothing else we do get a great scene of a mercenary trying to help the women out but gets captured, then scalped for his attempt. In the end I didn’t know if I was disappointed or just happy this wasn’t full blown German porn? Watch it and you’ll understand as I give this mess 1 ½ stars.

Clown Fear (DVD) – Hey, another killer clown film at 110 F’N minutes, yes this sounds like a horrible idea. Even though it stars Sadie Katz and Sarah French that isn’t nearly enough to save this clown horror film set in Clown City, USA. A woman, Augie Duke is left at the altar in Vegas so her in her three bridesmaids jump into the car to party and breakdown near “The Clown Inn”. From there it is all jokes and fun until the “Clown Clan” show up to take care of the outsiders! See the backstory is a small town sees clowns as a religion so again why in the fuck is this stupid ass film 110 minutes long? Again independent filmmakers I love yinz all but take note yinz ain’t makin’ “Avengers: Endgame” and never will! EDIT YOUR MOVIE! I give this boring garbage 1 star.   

Shriekshow (Blu-ray) – One of the hardest working independent filmmakers around, Brad Twigg, is back with his latest project that is an anthology of sorts. It does run an hour and 45 minutes but like most of Brad’s projects he does have an actual script/story that covers the time. Intentional or unintentional I enjoyed the beginning of the film as it felt like a montage to ‘Halloween 4’. But the film is about four friends heading out on Halloween to these so-called haunted fairgrounds to investigate. Its Halloween, soon as you see these sets or fairgrounds there is a lot of people that would love to check this shit out so even if it lingering a little in the beginning horror fans will understand because of the beauty of the sets. After entering a tent the four believed was empty they are introduced to a ringmaster who has three stories to tell. All three scary stories are solid, have a little gore, well-written, and a great cast. As the stories are being told the group quickly finds out the abandoned fairgrounds are not so abandoned. Thanks to Brad for tackling a tough subject “clown horror” and not falling into dumb ass shit like most filmmakers have and giving us horror fans another Indy anthology that we will be proud to show friends as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Censor (DVD) – Enid is a part of the British Censor Board in the early 80s help deciding what films get cut or downright rejected. Enid picks a part horror films constantly and now feeling even more pressure to just cut films completely her past comes back to start haunting her as Enid’s sister went missing when she was younger and never found. When the film ‘Deranged’ gets passed and public flack hits back at the censor board Enid cracks under pressure in this dream-state and goes down this wormhole of murder and mayhem! Her dark secrets are revealed about her sister in the end or were they as the film leaves it up to you the viewer what actually happened as I give this weird dreamy horror film 3 stars.

Midnight (Remake/DVD) – This Indy flick falls into the category of why? In 1982 John Russo actually made a good horror film and then made the mistake of allowing Gary Lee Vincent to update it. Now for the why: Why filmmakers do you wanna remake something that was actually good or considered good when there is so much crap out there aka “Blood Freak” that is worth remaking or at least attempting to remake? You are only setting yourself up for failure unless you have a perfect script… And in this case you didn’t have that! A young woman Nancy takes off from home after her stepfather tries to have sex with her. After a bunch of filler for the film Nancy runs into a family who kills in the name of Satan as their family believes blood gives them energy for their satanic powers. Sorry Gary I know you mean well and great friends with Russo but this was a terrible idea from beginning to end and a mistake as I give it a ½ out of 4 stars.

Bigfoot Blood Trap (DVD) – So 5 ½ minutes in and I knew I chose wrongly watching this trash as the set up for the film is creepy old dude in the woods filming two semi-ugly women in the woods who are awkwardly touching each other and then suddenly have a shotgun to shoot at Bigfoot! They take a few shots, and one of them kills Baby Bigfoot. Thank the lord Rutger Hauer I was drinking because that was the only way I was getting through this hot garbage. Meanwhile a young woman inherits the land that Bigfoot roams along with creepy old dudes with cell phones who film ugly women. Anyhow she heard the Bigfoot stories and just like most dumb white people she wants to find and capture Bigfoot. Well of course that is a terrible mistake! And next thing I know more than half of this piece of garbage is some fake doctor getting involved and using Bigfoot as an experiment to breed with human women that they kidnap. Problem with this experiment, Bigfoot hates tattoos! If this film wasn’t so poorly written and acted I would have laughed my ass off the whole time. But I just kept thinking there isn’t enough beer in my house to make me forget this mess as I give this film 0 stars.

Wyrmwood Apocalypse (On Demand) – Super disappointed with the first film as it promised “The Road Warrior meets Day of the Dead” and instead it gave me ‘meh’ so I still tried out the sequel because it’s me. Reese is a lone military man who has lived among the living dead for a long period of time and uses the zombies for fuel among other things for himself. When he isn’t doing that he captures zombies to report back to this underground bunker in hopes for a cure? One day he trips across a hybrid that he feels the bunker will definitely want for the cure. Problem arises when Reese truly doesn’t know what is going on in the underground bunker until he runs into the original hybrid. He goes AWOL and finds out he has been lied to the whole time about the cure and wants to destroy the bunker as he claims “they took his soul”. This film had much better story, pacing, interesting characters, and lots of splatter for the gorehounds as the sequel redeems the disappointment a few years ago as I give it 3 stars.

Hell Van (DVD) – Jorge Delarosa spent almost five years and $75000 putting this passion project together.  If there is anyone that is talented enough to tackle Satanic shit in independent films and not get lost a quarter of the way through, it would be the talented Jorge Delarosa. The setting is a small town called Midway, Texas where everyone knows everyone. After a suspect accused of church burnings burns a church full of kids goes on the run and commits suicide in his van bizarre events begin to happen. Anyone that approaches or is connected to this possessed van die a very horrible death and only Sheriff Redhorse can stop this madness! Mr. Delarosa doesn’t just make a typical possessed car film but tackled it to the ground with such force that the film comes off as Mr. Delarosa shows off how talented he is behind the camera in all forms. We have explosions, burning people, eyeballs being ripped out, zombies, interesting characters you care about, chaotic satanic images to help tell the story, and the music is just the icing on the cake (music is usually forgotten in Indy films not understanding it can enhance the viewing experience). If you didn’t know what I already knew you will after watching this satanic blessing of filmmaking that Mr. Delarosa is an independent filmmaking force that needs more attention. And his latest film is a wonderful blend of Satan, horror, and blood without losing its way of telling a story as I give this film 3 ½ out of 4 stars as ‘Hell Van’ will be a favorite among independent horror fans for years to come.  

The Puma Man (DVD) – The film stars Donald Pleasance in pleather controlling people with an ancient alien Aztec mask as a man named Tony Thorn comes along and is declared a god who will bring Pleasance and his pleather to his knees! But only if he puts on his Puma Man belt and turns into a generic version of ‘The Greatest American Hero’ William Katt. Super hilarious mess of a film as I give it 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #568

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The Oily Maniac (YouTube) – A Shaw Brothers mid-70s weirdness shot in Malaysia that is just a delightful cultish film for yinz all to enjoy. A young handicapped man copies a spell that was tattooed on a man’s back at the last request of said man. As he is sentenced to death he begs for the spell to be used. The young man struggles with this idea but eventually decides to use it against those who done wrong to his family. This spell turns the man into an indestructible slimy monster that knows martial arts at any point in time the young man dumps diesel or oil upon himself. This dirty hero kills rapists, unlicensed doctors, and random criminals who try to extort money from him as they learn his identity. This crazy monster flick is one of the oddest but hilarious films that I have ever had the pleasure of encountering especially when the monster gets real tired real quick after he has killed someone… This weird monster film is nowhere near perfect but will leave an impression on you unlike most films have before as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Midnight Offerings (VHS/YouTube) – This early 80s light-hearted horror film was a TV movie that stars Melissa Sue Anderson as Vivian who happens to be a full blown witch that uses her dark magic to get everything she wants in high school. Dave her boyfriend is having trouble knowing what Vivian is doing and wants no part of her or the powers. Then comes along Robin the new girl with a bit of a past and of course her and Dave hit it off which doesn’t make Vivian happy, Vivian soon figures out Robin isn’t just another high school girl she can push around with her dark magic. Dave’s friend tries to explain to Robin she is a powerful witch, that it is in her blood but unlike Vivian it comes to her naturally. This struggle between witches leads to a high school showdown between the two in this horror film for beginners as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Doctor Sleep (DVD) – If you don’t know already I am not a fan of ‘The Shining’. Wanted to put that out there as some horror fans will die claiming that film is one their favorites of all time. Hey more power to you, I hated it, Stephen King hated it, I found it boring, and without Jack Nicholson it’s a different film? Anyway with that out of the way who would have guessed there would be a sequel? Wasn’t gonna give this film a chance but as usual I eventually did. This film picks up right after the events of the hotel decades ago showing Danny Torrance struggling with this so-called power “The Shining”. Decades later Danny is a tortured soul drunk who talking to his dead mentor figures out how to lock away these ghosts of the past that haunt him. He then finds himself in Frazier, New Hampshire working at a hospice finding purpose again? As he gets cleaned up, stable, Danny has a psychic pen pal never thinking much about it until now. After several years of this writing back and forth the teenager shows up to visit Doc/Danny to tell him about a group of people who are able to live forever because they fed on kids mostly who have “The Shining”. This power, their soul, whatever is able to sustain these people’s immortality. Doctor Sleep, a friend, and this powerful young girl figure out this group of people must be stopped before they take any more young lives that have this power. If anything that comes out of this sequel is that it actually makes sense out of the original film for me that I could never get into. I now see the original in a different light, but still do not like it but will give credit oddly to this sequel that explains the whole mythos behind “The Shining” and for that I give it much kudos for a film that I may have otherwise never gave a chance as I give ‘Doctor Sleep’ 3 stars.

Meathook Massacre VI: Bloodline (YouTube) – No way this was a remake of ‘Hellraiser IV’ but as usual flesh face himself Bubba, continues his murdering antics using his meathook to hack through new victims. It’s funny with the strange turn the series has taken as ‘Meathook Massacre’ has literally become one big ‘X-Files’ episode with the Meathook family as one big government experiment gone wrong. To me at least it took a cue from ‘Saw IV’ or changing the tone in the series by giving the middle finger to fans of previous installments and just making shit up? Fucked up but hey I still found it entertaining. But that is a whole other dumb ass conversation we do not need to get into right now as we get a plot this time around where two sisters recently found out they have family they never about? One sister of course is all for it, the other Kelly suspects something is amiss here? Kelly is super stressed about the whole thing and that includes the supposed “Big Feast Thing” that is going to happen. Then Kelly is contacted by a mystery man with info on her new family which doesn’t smooth things over and how the whole community around them is in on the act! For Kelly this info comes too late as Bubba and the clan does not like loose ends and they had a purpose of why they are here and now it’s time to disappear again as they have finally found what they been looking for… Oddly enough for me this sequel actually made some kind of sense but we are talking about someone who purposely watched 36 Amityville films in six weeks but again that is for another conversation as I give this 2 stars.

Carver’s Gate (DVD) – A 90s Michael Pare futuristic film that is also known as ‘Cyber Cop’ has a great weird opening with a naked Michael Pare and I thought I was going to be in for  real treat? Sadly it was a mere way too long mess that is a bad mixture of ‘Johnny Mnemonic’ and ‘Brainscan’. This mess has Pare as a “Dream Breaker” or police officer for the virtual reality world. The film has that post-apocalyptic feel but never really dives into that world that may have made this a much better feature? After the main game creator dies in VR space (cheese and crackers this is so 90s) the Dream Breaker must investigate as the line between reality and dream world is blurred. There was a good idea and some monsters in this holy mess might plain and simple this film was a mess from beginning to end as it gets 1 star for Pare’s naked ass!

The Dirty Hands Man (YouTube) – A short crime drama about a group of friends who are brutally murdered around a campfire. Detectives unsuccessfully try to connect dots with a supposed suspect of this horrible night as this sadistic act cannot be explained? I liked where the film goes but for me at least in the end it felt like there was not a true ending as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Jail Bait (DVD) – Decided to step out of my comfort zone and checked out an Ed Wood film but not one of the ones people know him for. This 1954 crime drama is about a criminal duo Vic Brady and Don George who had a great plan to stick up a theater and leave with a good chunk of change. Problem arises when Vic shoots the security guard and Don has decided he wants to turn himself in after a conversation with his father. Vic not too keen on this idea kidnaps Don and forces Don’s father, a plastic surgeon to change his face so him and his girl can escape the police. Cheesy, bad acting, but there is a certain charm to this flick and Ed Wood for that matter that maybe it’s time for Indy filmmakers remember to keep doing their thing as I give this 2 ½ stars.

Deadly Scavengers (DVD) – This S.O.V. flick is from 2000/2001 where Dr. Fielding has isolated himself and his daughter at a secret lab in the wilderness to create something terrible and hungry! Once this thing gets loose from the lab, communication is lost so a group of mercenaries is put together to investigate and possibly recover this project. This band of rejects or so-called mercenaries is terrible and that is just being nice but hey they take two days or 50 minutes of the film to go hiking through the woods. Or as I like to point out “filler” which gets way worse when they all start to have sex in their tents and going over old stories we never knew about? But nevermind that someone get that one mercenary a burger because her boney ass scared the shit out of me as I was waiting for her naked ass to break in half! “Oh hey mercs, there is only ten minutes left in the film? Can yinz please introduce the giant roach creature and find the isolated lab?” Not saying but just saying… This utter garbage is just that, garbage but I laughed so there is some value to that as I give it 1 star.

Elvira’s Haunted Hills (DVD) – It was time to rewatch Elvira’s second big screen feature that takes place in 1851 Carpathia. Here Elvira is an entertainer down on her luck of sorts until a gentleman gives her a ride to a castle that just happens to be haunted. If Elvira isn’t doing dance numbers, banging the make model, or cracking jokes she is trying to unravel the mystery of the person that died many years ago that looks exactly like her? This feature is fun but nowhere near “Mistress of the Dark” but still watchable as I give it 2 stars.

Bubba’s Dead: The Final Massacre (YouTube) – Dustin Ferguson returns one last time to give this series a proper burial… maybe? As Bubba and Aunties on the highway still going with their murderous ways they have seem to catch the eyes of not just authorities but the media which is not good for the meathook family. Now, with a few of the family left and Auntie and Bubba killing a F.B.I. agent, Bubba’s mother returns to set things right as they can just become a story again. Weirdly and to my surprise this series may have an odd but satisfying ending for those who choose to watch all these films in a row so kudos to Dustin and friends as I give the final installment 2 ½ stars.

Cyber Tracker 2 (VHS) – Don “The Dragon” Wilson is a federal agent Captain Philips who in the future has help from Cyber Tracker #9 who helps busting counterfeit money rings. But things get turned upside for Philips when his reporter wife walks into a major press conference and guns down a man with a huge shootout proceeding after it. Now Cyber Tracker #9 has been assigned to track her down as Philips investigates and finds info that a cyber-clone of her was used! An arms dealer has stolen the secretive Cyber Tracker Tech and plans on making an army of unstoppable androids for world domination. This isn’t another generic ‘Robocop’ flick as this B-action flick goes out of its way to have lots of explosions, shootouts, and a fun ending to the sequel as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Sword and The Sorcerer (Blu-ray) – If you are over the age of 40 and a fan of fantasy films you do remember this Albert Pyun gem that was released in the early 80s. For the love of Rutger Hauer people: It had a cool looking dude with three swords that shoot at people, Richard Moll as a demon, and Richard Lynch as an evil king! This fantasy film is a wonderful reminder there was other cool shit on film before we started really getting the big budget projects. But just recently a two-disc Blu-ray of the film has been released and it is packed with goodies of not just Pyun telling stories but several people who were involved. They cover everything from the tragic death of a stuntman to what the hell happen to that sequel we were promised to Pyun’s troubles as a first time director on a big time Hollywood project. So do yourself a favor fantasy film fans grab this new release and take a trip down memory lane of Talon and his three pronged sword facing off against a bad ass demon and hell Richard Lynch one the ultimate bad guys to be on film as I give it 4 stars.

Bio-Slime (DVD) – A briefcase holding a genetic mutation has been stolen from a government building for a trade off a mysterious man. Both die and a young woman drives home in a car soaked in blood looking for help from friends. The briefcase is brought in and opened by a drunk artist who is about to be booted from the building. The experiment comes to life and now is infecting the building and feeding upon the poor souls trapped inside with no escape unless this group of people can stay calm and thinks together? The creature or slime monster is great, the setting for this slimy monster and victims is awesome, and the script has fun with the characters that are introduced to us, excellent this what I like about low budget horror films that surprise you and this did as I give it 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there! Or just contact me?

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #567

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Gross Movie Reviews #567

Terror of Disgusting Worms from Outer Space (YouTube) – An oddity S.O.V. film made in Germany … I believe? Anyway this mid-80s unknown no budget film introduce us to Mary and Larry who after a night of partying all night are ready to head home until they see something in the sky. Bored, the couple follows to where they believed it fell to Earth hoping to find a U.F.O. and find themselves at a burned out industrial area (which makes a great location for the film). Within minutes of arriving and investigating Larry is attacked by a ghoul and it’s not long before Mary is meeting the worm aliens! Lots of incoherent running around, bad effects, glad I was able to watch this as I give this oddity 1 ½ stars for the laughs.

Disgusting Space Worms Eat Everyone! (YouTube) – In 1989 apparently we got another or possible sequel (?) to the 1984 German film but I couldn’t confirm this? Anyhow this story has alien worms infecting a man’s drugs in Beverly Hills along with the alien worms constantly feasting on random people in their homes. Meanwhile there is literally some kind of nonsense plot of a private eye (Ray) who keeps crossing paths with a 80s fouled mouth young lady. Along with that incoherent nonsense we get a lot of scenes of characters running around as the aliens are there to exterminate the humans. The highlight of this whole mess is in order to defeat the worm aliens you must throw cocaine at them as the drug melts the alien ghouls. This is a weird mess of a film indeed folks but again glad I was able to watch it as it entertained me and made me laugh so for that I give it 2 stars. Also I forgot to mention there is a random giant Raid Spray Can!

Meathook Massacre IV (YouTube) – Robert Lankford returns as the Bubba character again and this entry tries to show a budget as they feature Indy film stars Drew Marvick and Brinke Stevens. Bubba is again on the move as a bunch of meathook murders of gotten the attention of authorities and local news. While on the road Bubba and mum have a small accident with a group of young people heading to Vegas for a birthday celebration. The celebration is quickly derailed when Bubba blames this group for the death of his Ma and gets some help from his extended family. Once the extended family is introduce the film becomes more about setting up the next film than telling a story of Bubba as I give this entry 1 ½ stars.

Checkered Flag or Crash (DVD) – Think ‘Cannonball Run’ but not as funny set in Manila? It is a 3-day, 1000 mile race for $50,000 to the winner and the rest of the 50 or 60 drivers split the other $50,000 and promoted by the stylish Larry Hagman. The race or movie centers on the feud of former friends Joe Don Baker and Alan Vint who use to be partners but now competitors and a reporter played by Susan Sarandon is covering it all. The film is full of stunts and car racing which is pretty much gold 70s film lovers. I liked it but didn’t love it because for me ‘Cannonball Run’ just never gets old but that is just me as I give this film 2 ½ stars.

The Cursed (DVD) – Most of the story takes place in the late 1800s where white people never learn and fuck with gypsys who had a claim before them on some farmland. Of course a lynch mob comes by and ruins all their lives but the dumb ass white people wanna know why weird evil shit starts happening to them and their kids? After all begin to have the same nightmare and a boy goes missing a pathologist John McBride comes in to investigate the missing child and quickly figures out he might be dealing with a sinister supernatural element here as no one wants to talk about what they did in order to illegally keep the land they claim. Feels like a werewolf flick but is something more, has some fun gore scenes, goes to great lengths to have that old school cursed European monster feel, but also again points out why dumb white people will never listen as I give this horror film 3 stars.

Meathook Massacre V: The Final Chapter (YouTube) – Before I even start this review you be warned there is two more sequels that come after this, more on that later… A survivor from 15 years ago Danielle Stokley has managed to move on with her name after the attack of Bubba while living under a different name. Meanwhile Bubba is still running around with a meathook in the middle of nowhere doing his thing. Danielle is tracked down by a mysterious man who also claims to be a survivor and drops some knowledge on Danielle talking about they were some government experiment with cross breeding that mutated! What I got out of that conversation was “INCEST”. The family full of killers travels from state to state to satisfy their carnal killing needs and to stay ahead of the authorities but that is about to change? So the movie really doesn’t end it basically sets up “To Be Continued…” without saying it on screen which begs the question: “How in the love of Rutger Hauer is this the Final Chapter?” Not saying but just saying… I honestly believe this is a logical question when a filmmaker is making a film that literally claims “The Final Chapter”. I am not trying to take a giant steamy morning grumpy on this film because I like where the film was going five installments in, but when you pull this dumb shit then you are just being a dick for no good reason. And do not give me the ‘Friday the 13th Part 4’ argument as I give this film zero stars for being misleading and not in a good way.

Sharks of the Corn (DVD) – Some strange shit is happening in the cornfields of Kentucky and part of it is sharks haunt a cornfield. Yes, you heard me right folks sharks haunt a cornfield and a serial killer who is obsessed with sharks believes the sharks are gods and makes sacrifices for the gods. Oh yeah there is a Bigfoot and a Bigfoot hunter running around during this whole mess as the killer believes he is fulfilling some kind of Blood Moon prophecy. With this going all on not totally sure there is a real reason the sharks are there in the cornfield other than it can spell the end of the world for all? There is a lot of filler of three ongoing movie plots here and feel if Tim Ritter would have just stuck with a parody of ‘Children of the Corn’ I think it would have been more entertaining and that is coming from a fan of Mr. Ritter’s. I will say this if there was one take away from this mess and what may have saved the film for me was the last minutes of the film made me laugh several times as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Maggots (DVD) – If I wasn’t hell bent enough on destroying my brain with Yuengling there is bad movies and this was downright unbearable at times. This 2017 film claiming it was made for $100,000 is set in Harlan County, a wooded country area where something comes crashing to Earth and unleashes mutant maggots that want humans to feast on. Fred Olen Ray I know you wrote the story for this but dude… please have some say in these projects? Of course Harlan County just happens to become a hotspot for tourists when giant bad green screened maggots are attacking! I would love to say this entertaining but even me, I felt like something was taken from me when watching this so-called film as I give it 0 stars. Sorry your jokes in the film fell horribly flat!

Mutant Vampire Zombies from the Hood! (DVD) – Not expecting much from this C. Thomas Howell project, hell was awaiting for it to be downright insulting but instead I was surprised how much fun it unfolds in being. Once you get past the opening shootout between rival gangs and two cops the film steals its idea from ‘Night of the Comet’ and does a pretty good job its low budget it has? A strange solar flare wave hits Earth and those exposed to the radiation turn into zombies or vampires or something else according to the entertaining characters we have trapped inside the lead-walled medical facility. Understanding they must survive and put racial issues aside the gangs and white cop (C. Thomas Howell) must learn to adapt quickly as all cars do not work and the zombies are evolving. The characters were entertaining as hell for what looks like a low grade cheeseball flick at first glance and will surprise you how entertaining this film actually is? This horror film has its flaws but believe me horror fans this film does deserve your attention if you do not take the title too seriously. If you liked ‘Leprechaun in the Hood’ you will like this as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Exorcist Vengeance (On Demand) – They are trying to use Robert Bronzi aka Bootleg Bronson in every genre humanly possible and I love it. So grab the beer and donuts as Bootleg Bronson this time around stars as Father Jozsef (had to look up the correct spelling) who is called in to investigate unholy symbols. The Bishop is sent pictures of some unholy symbols on the floor of a donor of the church and believes there is exorcism that needs to be done so send in the big gun to investigate? Father Jozsef shows up to the home to investigate and do a typical exorcism but runs into obstacles because in order to finish what he started, he must unravel the mystery of the family itself which has set them on the path of the devil. Once the secret is out it is just this evil force vs. the good father himself who of course carries a gun because he is Bootleg Bronson and for that I give 2 ½ stars.

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Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #566

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Gross Movie Reviews #566

Deadheading (DVD) – This recent release out of the U.K. should have been called “Dead on Arrival” as this was one of the worst films I have sat through in 2022. But anyhow kids Anna, a tired flight attendant that has the all high and mighty attitude hooks up with a hot dude in her hotel mess in London. You know how it goes: she’s married, better than everyone, how could anyone even think of another then after a couple of drinks and conversation they are bumping like bunnies! Problem, Anna wakes up in a pool of his blood and instead of calling police she decides how can I get rid of this body and go back to work? Most of the film is all about Anna trying to figure out how she is getting away with the murder… Ugh this was a borefest as I give it zip stars!

Killer Tattooist (Blu-ray) – This recent U.K. film is also known in some parts ‘Skinned’ and was a pleasant surprise about a serial killer. Nathan is a very professional tattoo artist who enjoys his work and loves to kill. Meanwhile a strung out cop named Eva is brought in by superiors to look into these nine women who have been murdered the past three months. What connects all of them is the females were recently tattooed or had appointments to be tattooed and Eva for being an utter mess of an officer does wonderful undercover work. Eva and Nathan meet up at a tattoo festival and the relationship quickly evolves from there. Eva unaware of Nathan’s extra circular activity soon becomes suspicious as she gets pressure from her superiors to bring him in for questioning. Surprisingly this film gives off a “Hannibal TV series” vibe that will suck you into what is Nathan going to do next? I would have loved to say this movie was perfect but the lazy ending in my opinion was what hurt it, but don’t let that turn you off from this solid horror film that I give 3 stars.

Zombie Shark (DVD) – Honestly, I thought I seen all the SyFy Channel shark films but apparently I am wrong and blame this on talented Indy filmmaker Maddie Deering as she always keeps me in the loop. But all seriousness folks this was bad! Four people head to Red Plum Island for a weekend of fun until they come across a supposedly dead shark on the beach. But it is undead and eats the hot dude that got them to the beach. Meanwhile, Sgt. Cage aka Jeremy London is trying to track down the undead experiment shark that has caused this big mess and he is carrying a rocket launcher. Usually I absolutely love watching these films but this seem to be bad all around. The only redeemable thing that came out of the film is the quote: “people on the island are going to be a zombie shark buffet”, outside of that no wonder this slipped under my radar as it gets zero stars.

Visions of Fear (DVD) – A collection of seven short films hosted by Tiffany Shepis in 2007 or 2008. 1st film – My Skin – An old creepy dude takes care of a husband’s business for him. 2nd film – Slumber – A reporter named Jason, starts working on a gruesome story that makes him to have horrible visions that are physically changing him. 3rd film – What Ever Happened to the Zombie Killers – Zombies are just trying to enjoy their drinking and dancing at their favorite nightclub until some Goth girls known as the “Zombie Killers” show up to be bathed in gore. 4th film – Callous Sentiment – A local park that sucks in the vulnerable with acts of violence. 5th film – Trick or Treat! – A young woman makes the mistake of allowing a trick or treater into her home who just wants candy but she doesn’t have any? 6th film – Hooligan’s Valley – An offbeat short where a clown and his Mexican wrestler partner go to rescue his girlfriend at a seedy nightclub. 7th and final shirt film – Scream for Me – This is an uncomfortable adventure into a man looking for a woman to scream for his pleasure but she refuses. But he has the tables turned on him but not in the manner you think happen? A fun collection of short films that many horror fans would enjoy but the sixth short film just doesn’t fit the vibe or the buildup (intentional or not) to the last short film introduced by the very talented Tiffany Shepis as I give the collection 3 stars.

Escape from Deathblock 13 (DVD) – If it isn’t ‘massacre’ films, post-apocalyptic flicks, or Amityville movies you know I love me some Bootleg Chuck Bronson films! Robert Bronzi aka fake Charles Bronson plays Mick Kovacs who shows up at a recycling warehouse demanding his brother’s death benefit payment. After a scuffle Bootleg Chuck Bronson gets arrested and is given an opportunity to work the inside for the police but chooses not to for now because he believes he is innocent. Now sitting in prison to rot bootleg Bronson aka Mick is forced to make friends and act in some bad prison scenes. But Mick accidentally comes across some evidence to connect the warden, the prison, and the recycling warehouse all in a drug smuggling ring and he wants out. So some inmates gather to help Mick out by starting a riot so he can escape through the legendary tunnels under the old ass prison so he can go get his revenge and then be offered a job by the U.S. government! Yes it is an action movie mess but I cannot get enough of Bootleg Bronson as I give this flick 2 ½ stars.

Game of Death (DVD) – Here is a horror movie I thought I would see more people talk about? A group of young people hanging by the pool one day doing the usual: drugs, drinking, getting sexed up, AND NO ONE ON A CELL PHONE (no kidding on that last part, maybe that is why this horror film got buried? Reality check people). While let’s just say a young lady is enjoying her boyfriend as he has a good meal she sees a board game called “Game of Death”. To play the rules are simple: Kill or be killed… so of course they play. Now they either need to kill each other, 24 other people, or watch their heads explode because they refuse to participate and they could win… maybe? Weird, gory, keeps it simple, just surprised not hearing horror fans enjoying this as I believe it is worth at least one watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Alien from the Deep (DVD) – An Eye-talian/Philippines flick from 1989 starring Charles Napier as a hard ass military dude who has taken over a radioactivity dumping operation on an unknown island. Two Greenpeace people show up to look into the illegal dumping by the power plant only to their horror to find they are just throwing the radioactivity into a volcano. The Greenpeace people sneak into the facility and videotape all the dirty secrets but then it gets a little wacky for all involved when an alien drops by because its attracted to all the toxic waste. The alien is able to burn humans with its touch and seems to indestructible unless you got some random hydrogen flame thrower to burn the large lobster clawed thing! It’s terrible, it’s cheesy, and I know I will watch it again at some point in my life as I give it 2 stars.

Fangboner (Blu-ray) – Written and directed by Nathan (Amityville Vibrator) Rumler for a Rock Bottom Video Production so you are well warned what you are about to get into and if anything you will laugh a lot. After a night of blackout drinking and unprotected sex something is wrong with Dick? Dick has never felt like shit this much before but that doesn’t stop him from visiting his next hook up with the girl he cannot remember her name (Suzy by the way but not that important). The problem reveals itself before and after Dick hooks up with Suzy as Dick’s prior hook up is an alien that bit his dick! Dick convinces Suzy that it must be a form of vampirism that will make them thirst for blood, sex, and uncomfortable conversations in the woods. While they try plan their feedings, weird sex blood sucking rituals, the alien must retrieve the couple and end their lives before they infect the whole human race. The movie is hilariously uncomfortable and I enjoyed it all. ‘Fangboner’ has its flaws, but for no budget and just a cool crew of people having fun makes this one of those flicks you need a room full of friends, beer, and some pizza as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #565

0

Gross Movie Reviews #565

Amityville: The Final Chapter (DVD) – Just like ‘Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter’ this franchise lied to us big time and try to hide it by marketing this film under a different title ‘Sickle’. Over the years the title has been changed back and forth but it is entry #36 so what were you expecting? Anyway kids, this story has a 27 year old known as “The Babysitter Killer” getting released from prison after 15 years. Michael a kid at the time claimed he was visited by a creature in a top hat that made him kill his babysitter when he was 12. Now adult, some ghost hunters cross paths with the newly released man and believe it is a great idea to take Michael back to the house where it all happened? Of course this causes the demonic force known as “Sickle” to reappear and ruin everyone’s day or night… its fucking ghost hunting does it matter at this point? This hot piece of garbage is high on the Amityville list of almost unwatchable as I give this entry 0 stars enjoy kids.

The Monster of Piedras Blancas (DVD) – Say that title five times fast, anyway before I review this: quick question: is the lighthouse location in this 1959 film the same as the one in “John Carpenter’s The Fog”? Back to your regularly scheduled review, two brothers are found dead near the lighthouse after going night fishing the night before. The deaths look suspicious and of course there is a small town legend of a monster that has lived along the rocks of the ocean. The old man who lives next to the lighthouse knows the truth and has fed the monster meat scraps from the town market for some time now. But the monster hungers more as it enjoys ripping human heads off and sucking the blood out of their neck. Can the monster be stopped? Is there more than one in the caves off this coastal town? A fun drive-in flick that I am surprised I never got the chance to see on Chilly Billy or something when growing up as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Alligator (Blu-ray) – You all have seen or heard of this movie by now where a baby alligator is thrown the toilet and years later its living in the sewers feeding on dead animals and such. Now it’s up to Robert Forster to get people to believe him a giant alligator is gonna eat everybody in the city. The 1980 film is cheesy fun but now finally has gotten the special Blu-ray treatment it has deserved for a long time. We get a new 4K scan of the original negative for not only the theatrical but the TV version of the movie and it looks just amazing as when the alligator coming up through the sidewalk looks hilariously cheesy. I mean honestly for years most of the film was grainy and hid the glorious scene well. We get tons of interviews, commentaries, lots of fun stuff in this 3-disc version you never knew you needed until it existed as I give it 4 stars.

Alligator II: The Mutation (Blu-ray) – Almost a decade later we get a fun cheeseball sequel with no Robert Forster but an all-star cast that makes this sequel much more interesting than it ever should have been? This time around a baby alligator is fed a steady diet of hormones and other chemicals from the Future Chemicals Corporation and we get another giant alligator that is going to attack a city festival where Steve Railsback plays an asshole trying to buy up everyone’s property. Richard Lynch and Kane Hodder steal the show as “gator hunters”. This sequel is dislike by some horror fans, for me it has always a weird fun appeal to me and makes all the right sense in the world to pick this new version up as it also has some fun interviews that make the film worth the watch all over again as I give it 3 ½ stars. Which by the way did you know this film was made for TV not the theater or direct-to-video, weird stuff?

Aquaslash (DVD) – A Canadian horror/comedy where some high school graduates are partying at a waterpark for the weekend. Of course most of the movie has a lot of graduates making out and getting told a story of a killer who murdered a bunch of people at the park in the 80s. The movie for its short running time takes a while to set up things but there is a huge gory payoff as a mysterious killer rigs up something in one of the water slides! The horror movie isn’t horrible but feels like there isn’t much rewatchablity to it as I give this horror feature 2 stars.

The Mask (Blu-ray) – A wild 1961 film has Dr. Allan Barnes trying to help a patient named Michael from going completely insane. Up until recently Michael was well respected and working at the local museum but has become consumed with a tribal/ritual mask of sorts that has Michael believing he is now cursed. After Michael’s last appointment he rushes out of the office to go home to commit suicide but before he does he mails the mask to the good doctor challenging him to see the nightmares. Dr. Barnes curious about the mask puts it for research in what driven a person to the brink and becomes consumed with the death and weird ritual things that happen when putting the mask on. Barnes quickly becomes obsessed with the mask and even convinces his mentor to help him with the experiment of learning what makes this mask unique? A fun bizarre version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde that can be seen in 2-D and 3-D with “Electro-magic sound” in this new restored version. The package also includes a short documentary and other short films that make this a must have for old school film fans as I give it 3 stars.

Killer Party (Blu-ray) – Now that we have fought through the Warner Brother DVD-R Archive crap that went on with this 80s slasher film we meaning a small but crazy fan base get a special edition version of ‘Killer Party’. A horror film from 1986 that is considered second tier slasher to some horror fans but one of my favorites growing up is all about three girls just trying to pledge to a sorority that is interrupted by a demonic presence. This pure 80s horror flick has a lot of fun new interviews that makes us physical media nerds jump for joy to have as I give it 3 stars.

Special Effects (VHS) – After Andrea and her husband Keefe have a fight about going back to Oklahoma, Andrea runs out on her man. Backstory, Andrea left him after having her baby and decided to chase a career in acting, modeling, etc., in New York City. While on the run and picking up a newspaper she finds herself on the doorstep of a famous filmmaker named Neville. Neville has just bombed out of Hollywood and lets in Andrea on whim. One thing leads to another and Neville is murdering her on his bed while filming it. Chris Neville cleans it all up and dumps the body so the husband is blamed. The husband breaks out police custody to visit Neville and this inspires the filmmaker to make a low budget film about realtime murder he committed! Neville gets so involved with the project he bails out the husband, makes the one police officer a technical adviser, and believes this is his way back to Hollywood as everything has to look a certain way as Neville relives the fantasy murder. For me this was a very bizarre Larry Cohen film to watch but glad as hell I did as I give it 3 stars.

Thriller: A Cruel Picture (Blu-ray) – The 1973 film is also widely known as “They Call Her One Eye” and has been inspiration for many filmmakers the past few decades but can’t be duplicated. A woman (Christina Lindberg) who is raped as a young girl is now grown but mute and goes into town quite often for doctor’s appointments. Innocent and naïve she gets in a car when she misses a bus into town and wakes up beaten up, hooked on heroin, and told she will now be a hooker! Not happy with this she takes it out on her first customer and in return she loses an eye and weirdly enough apparently it costs more money to bang a one eyed hooker. Soon she saves her money learns how to race a car, shoot guns, and fight. And that is when this movie just gets downright brutal as hell as she begins gut shooting customers left and right in slow motion with a double barrel shotgun. The movie is absolutely amazing, fucked up, brutal, and not for all movie lovers at the same time. I can see why this film has such rabid fan base especially when your female lead doesn’t say a damn word through the whole film! Thanks to Synapse Films this brutal film or package is going to make physical media fans drool like crazy as they have included an uncut and uncensored HD version with several subtitle and soundtrack options, rare photos and outtakes, alternate fight scene, and rare photos of a fight scene that was ruined by a film lab. If you only have seen the ‘They Call Her One Eye’ version you better be prepared for some of the graphic material in this restored film as his will not be for all audiences. Hell the movie was never made for all audiences but I am sure this package will make a lot of “Best of” lists at the end of the year as I give this 4 out of 4 stars. www.synapse-films.com

The Dungeonmaster (DVD) – Its 1984 and Paul is the IT guy who knows how to fix all computer problems as he is hooked up to his computer “CAL”. One night after a fight with his girlfriend Gwen, Paul and Gwen get sucked into purgatory or hell for Paul to conquer seven challenges in fantasy land in order for the couple to live and go back home. David Allen, John Carl Buechler, Charles Band, and Richard Moll as Satan, evil wizard, whatever you wanna call him… I will always be in to watch this crazy mess! Another fun Empire Pictures project that is just fun to pop in every five years or so and makes a little sense if double feature it with ‘Metalstorm’ that I give 3 stars.

They See You (Blu-ray) – Our story begins with three teenage boys heading into town to check out a unique/oddities shop. There is a spirit board with what looks like Halloween symbols on it that catches their attention but they are told that it isn’t for sale. Mainly the spirit board is not for sale because it’s cursed but this only intrigue the boys as with help from a couple girls they know from school they steal it along with an old book. They all head out the woods to have some fun with it, they all touch the spirit board, say some words from the old book, and it activates. Unleashing a gang of demons, undead creatures on Halloween that just don’t want to consume them but take control of the spirit board and book to stay in this world. Think of a slick independent gory film with a ‘Witchboard’ and ‘Beyond the Gates’ vibe to it. The movie has its flaws but overall Tory Jones and Jonestown Films put together a solid horror film well worth a watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Robo C.H.I.C. (VHS) – First let’s get the alternate titles out of the way: aka Cyber-C.H.I.C. aka Robochic aka Thunder Tronic starring Burt Ward! Anyhow, a wacky doctor puts together a crime fighting fembot (remember kids its 1990). Along the way when the fembot isn’t training we have a mad bomber who is trying to keep the city hostage as he plants bombs everywhere. It is up to the futuristic fembot to find the people who kidnap the mad bomber and stop the bombs from going off in this supposedly intentionally funny film but fails. This movie is a part of a sub-genre that seem to show on “Up All Night” with Rhonda Shear between 1987-1992 or what you could call: The Killer Tomato sequel years? Anyhow give this terrible garbage 0 stars.

Kill-Cam (Blu-ray) – Chris Woods and The Sleaze Box crew reach deep into the sleaze void to pull out a story of Samantha Styles. Ms. Styles (Katie Mckinley) is obsessed with a model Pamela Keaton that makes her drool and want to meet her but Samantha also just happens to be a sex-crazed serial killer with a super shitty past! This slow burn into the dark void of Samantha has her getting advice from a doll, stalking her ex hookup, enjoying her murderous desires until see can come up with a way to meet her obsession. Folks you are in for a rough one here as this is not for the faint of heart but I believe this will find an audience craving more with Katie McKinley’s performance as a sick and horny serial killer. As I say with projects like this: “this isn’t my cup of tea” but I can easily see this project being talked about among independent film fans for the next several years because of its content as I give the film 2 ½ stars just for Katie Mckinley performance standing out in this feature.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!