Gross Movie Reviews Best of 2024 list

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(As usual there is gonna be a few that you feel is missing from the list as I always say, “it’s just one person’s opinion” or keep in mind I watch all kinds of horror films new and old but it is hard to see everything believe me I try: Indy stuff to new stuff but always trying to unearth things no one has heard about so take a gander, enjoy, and I am sure someone will comment or send me a message, lol.)

1) Godzilla Minus One (On Demand) – Best way to explain this film: This is the remake of Godzilla, Tim Gross always wanted! But let’s tell you a little about it anyway. The main plot of the film revolves around a Japanese fighter pilot who in 1943 first encounters Godzilla on an island. Soon after the war ends in 1945 he returns home to devastation of his land and his family dead but also still haunted by the nightmares of Godzilla on the island. He tries to rebuild with a woman and a child who are survivors of the war with nowhere to go. As a couple years pass and the rebuilding of cities in Japan begin he finds a dangerous job on the sea picking up mines that were left from the war and this is where he meets the Godzilla creature again only to be bigger and much stronger than ever before. As Godzilla rips a part a Japanese city within seconds and disappears again, the Japanese people decide they cannot wait for any government to jump in help they must come up with a plan to destroy this mutated creature sooner than later. What makes this Godzilla more special in my opinion than a lot of the Godzilla films we grew up with or remakes of the 90s is the Japanese people are not just set pieces running away from Godzilla. This fighter pilot being haunted by nightmares of Godzilla and even believing Godzilla is following him in some way makes this a much different plot than what I believe we have seen before? Yeah there have been some cool recent reincarnations of Godzilla but this project literally reached into my brain and said we are going to give you the perfect combo: the iconic music, out of this world effects (no cheesy Godzilla but that will always have a place in my movie heart), a plot that finally or truly is about humans and not just Godzilla, but making Godzilla what he always was supposed to be since he showed up on screen in the 50s… an absolute bad ass unstoppable creature that gives you chills when he hits the screen! For this folks I absolutely give this 4 stars and thank you Toho.

2) The Beekeeper (On Demand) – This is not just another run of the mill action film starring Jason Statham. I think this movie is going to have some legs for the next few years. A mysterious dude named Adam Clay has rented a barn from a Mrs. Parker out in the middle of nowhere where he raises “bees”! But when Mrs. Parker is taken in by a computer scam and commits suicide after seeing she has just lost her savings Clay finds the aftermath. This sends Mr. Clay to find the United Data Company and burn them down from bottom to top. This event sets in motion Mr. Clay to find everyone who is involved and just burned them to the ground so to speak! Mr. Clay is an agent for the government that is a failsafe. He works outside of all agencies but has unlimited funds and have been a part of the US for decades as they are unstoppable killers. This is one of the better action film ideas I have seen in recent memory and love this concept as this taps into a very real-time subject that everyone could get behind and would want to happen as our government sucks at trying to control shit like this? Plus this movie doesn’t waste time at all throughout, there is no filler as Clay is just killing almost from the time it begins till the great ending as they still had time to fit in some interesting characters. This film gets my approval big time as I say you need to watch this as I give it 4 stars.

3) Shaky Shivers (DVD) – The film is set perfectly in 1993 somewhere in the state of Washington where two young women have set out to wait for a full moon and once it happens the hilarity doesn’t stop with what these two get themselves into. But when the real story begins the day before when the two are working their ice cream parlor jobs as they discuss their futures only to be interrupted by a woman from the woods. This happens at closing time when Lucy and Karen just want to be done for the night but the strange woman curses Lucy as now she has to deal with becoming a werewolf. The two best friends try to figure out what they can do before tomorrow evening which brings us to their present time the next evening and things go from bad to worse when they read from “The Book of Spells”! Great effects, great story, I absolutely laughed my ass off at these two characters as this will be a horror film for people to talk about for years to come as I give it 4 stars and will most likely be on my “Best of 2024 list” at the end of the year.

4) Super Hybrid (DVD) – Holy shit horror fans where has this 2010 film been hiding all my life as I could literally review this film as: Imagine 1977s The Car meets Deep Rising… SOLD! A driverless old black Chevy Nova is in a terrible car accident one evening in Chicago. The vehicle is towed to the Chicago impound garage to be stored but quickly the car begins to fix itself as the employees don’t think too much of it as they have their own shit to contend with. As the garage employees begin their work that night strange noises and things begin to happen around this car as this car lives for murder. But what makes this intriguing as they become locked into the garage for the night this car not only lives for murder but also is able to change car models when another is near it to hide in plain sight. Also it doesn’t take long for the employees to figure out this driverless car is driven by something that is alive! The film has a few imperfections but this has an insane plot, great cars, and cool stunt work that makes you question why wasn’t this film hyped up a lot more over a decade ago? Horror fans do yourself a favor and track this down as I give this film 4 stars and most likely to be in my “top ten movies” for 2024!

5) When the Trash Man Knocks (DVD/Tubi) – Caroline is a woman haunted by a tragic event many years ago that has caused her the fear of leaving the house. But what scared her two decades ago, “The Trash Man”, has returned. Instead of being your usual rando slasher genre fare (which isn’t a bad thing?) this film goes about fleshing out a more psychological story about how the Trash Man was able to scar a town. This legendary killer has haunted Caroline and her son for so many years that they also have become part of the legend. There is some wonderful kills and bodies pile up quickly once it gets going. I try to not go into too much detail as it can give this fun new breed of slasher film away and want it to be fun for first time viewers as I can honestly say this will be on my “Best of 2024 list” at the end of the year as I give it 4 stars.

6) TRET (DVD) – So independent filmmaker Matthew Diulus decided to delight horror fans with a tale of Halloween horror that runs a little over 17 minutes. This tale of terror deals with a person disrespecting another person’s Halloween decorations and candy bowl thus there is consequences for this action? Break the rules you must choose ‘Trick or Tret’? So if there is anything to take away from this delightful scare it’s always respect people’s Halloween stuff as this was a wisely casted, performed, and crafted Halloween horror short that I got to give 4 out of 4 stars.

7) Onyx the Fortuitous The Talisman of Souls (DVD) – This is an odd bird of a movie where the plot revolves around a fanboy character Marcus who still lives at home with mom (Barbara Crampton) and works at the local “Meat Mart”. But Marcus is really into this dude Bartok who worships Satan that has a contest of where five selected people get the chance to hang out in Bartok’s mansion. The five from all different walks of life all very into Bartok (Jeffrey Combs) the Great make it to the mansion for the ritual. The goal of this ritual is to bring forth the evil god Abaddon for immortality and Bartok to rule. But the five get curious and wonder what is really up with Bartok as they have odd dreams as they believe there is a prophecy about this event as not all Bartok can be true? Yeah the movie has a few flaws but we get Jeffrey Combs coming off as a doppelganger of Michael Ironside in ‘Turbo Kid’, Barbara Crampton being delightful as always, ghouls, monsters, and the vibe of this being some weird mid-90s fever dream I once had when I was 20. This movie might be odd but it was an absolute hoot to watch so give it a chance as I give it 4 stars.

8) The Last Christmas in the Universe (YouTube) – The fine folks from Spain that have brought you the over the top brilliant work of “Fist of Jesus” and “Brutal Relax” have returned with a post-apocalyptic holiday short film. It is December 25th next year?! Everything has gone to shit and a gang of brutal thugs are about to kill a man but Santa has arrived because even though everything is just about dead Santa has a job to do as long as there is still one good person left. Santa and his magical bag of presents turns the fight to the death into a fantastic holiday splatterfest that includes Santa playing ‘Twister’ (the version of the game here in the US) with the thugs’ body parts in order to save this one good person. Need some dark humor in your Season’s Greetings look no further than this absolutely fun gorefest that will just make you smile like the days of unwrapping all those cool presents as a kid as I give this wonderful holiday short film 4 out of 4 stars. Also these talented people are in need of your support so please check out www.patreon.com/RedParty to help. 

9) Psycho Ape 2! The Wrath of Kong (DVD) – Addison and crew literally come out swinging in this sequel to his no budget hit “Psycho Ape” of leaning into the comedy that much more where the film is a parody of a parody of a parody if that makes any sense at all? It is now supposedly 25 years later and the three main characters Nancy Banana, Dr. Zoomis, and Psycho Ape are all friends trying to live out their exciting lives until it becomes a courtroom drama as Psycho Ape is believed to be killing again. There is a woman who wants Psycho Ape behind bars by any means as the threesome of Nancy, the good doctor, and Psycho Ape are just trying to live their best lives as they reenact several scenes from several movies along the way. Pay attention when they are not ironing the gorilla suit mid-movie they go through a crapload of famous films quickly. This is one of those “check your brain at the door, grab a six pack, and strap yourself in for some laughs” kind of movie. Addison you had me immediately when the kids are trading for the infamous Psycho Ape card and the famous Billy Ripken card is mentioned. There is so much going on in this film it will literally take viewers two or three times to truly understand how cool this project actually is? Now saying that and looking at Addison’s films leading up to this it leaves me asking Indy fans an important question: Is Addison Binek possibly the next Lloyd Kaufman as he continues to build his young career? While you think on that this sequel is an absolute rolling on the ground, laughing until tears run down your face comedy I give 4 out of 4 stars too!

10) The Third Saturday in October (Shudder) – I quite enjoyed this throwback to a 70s slasher film as this one has heart with the music, the look, and the cars. Set in 1979 Alabama where deranged killer Jack Harding is being put to death for his killing spree in 1968 but has refused to say a word since. When Harding is electrocuted there is a man (Ricky Dean Logan) and a woman (Vicki Newton) that is witnesses of the execution who also wanna see him buried in the ground to be sure he is dead. But don’t let a good electrocution keep this killer down as he rises from his coffin to kill again and heads to the town of Hackleburg to restart his bloody rampage. Ricky and Vicki soon believe Jack Harding isn’t human but some kind of unstoppable monster. This is one of the few nostalgic slasher films in the past several years that have gotten the formula right! When watching your 70s slasher film makes me think of “Halloween” and “Phantasm” but also finds a way to give me chills you know you have made this horror fan happy who is old enough to remember that time as I gotta give this wonderful nostalgic 70s movie 4 stars! Horror fans that enjoyed “Late Night with the Devil” will enjoy this also.

Notables worth mentioning…

Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In (On Demand) – A young man Chan Lok-kwun looking to be paid for his services so he can get his ID is screwed over by Mr. Big (Sammo Hung). In turn Chan grabs a bag believing its money and not a sack full of drugs and goes running from the gang. Its 1980 Hong Kong and Chan get chased into the citadel. This is a walled off society from the rest of Hong Kong that actually existed! Chan might be able to defend himself against the thugs of Mr. Big but he cannot defend himself when he is facing ‘the barber’. This older man hands Chan his ass without dropping his cigarette and explains if he stays he must become a functional part of what they all do there. The young man just wants to make enough money in order to travel and get his ID but slowly the real identity of Chan comes out that causes Mr. Big and son to try a takeover of the walled in city! The fight scenes are unlike some of the most top notch stuff on screen and this story just sucks you into this 1980 Hong Kong universe. If you are a fan of such titles ‘The Raid’ or ‘Triple Threat’ please give this action/fantasy a try because this will be one of the best movies you watch in 2024 as I give it 4 stars.

HeBGB TV (Blu-ray) – Wow, right out the gates this thing screams mid-90s Nick shows! This era is a little past my time but I was still able to appreciate what a great viewing pleasure of this project was. It begins with a rando package on a front doorstep picked up by siblings who were hoping it was pizza. This out of this world cable box once inside immediately hooks itself up and out comes “The Purple Guy” to explain and entertain the siblings. As The Purple Guy allows the siblings to watch the programming and advertisements we keep getting newsbreaks that the cable box is going everywhere and taking over the world. But the siblings in the end are not having what The Purple Guy is offering. The production and presentation of this project is just absolutely entertaining along with the young sibling characters giving this horror delight an innocence you don’t see often or pulled off correctly. Horror fans if you grew up in the 90s make a point to pick up a copy of this as these fantastic independent productions are rare as I give it 4 stars.

Boy Kills World (On Demand) – In an alternate world where a deaf boy has his mom and sister murdered by a dictator. After being found in the jungle a Shaman trains him from a boy to adult to be the perfect killing machine. The boy never forgets what drives him as he wants revenge in this chaotic world of dreamy weirdness. But you have to pay attention to the complete insane story because not all is what it seems as this feels like someone threw Peter Jackson’s “Dead Alive”, the over the top action film “Hardcore Henry”, and one of my favs “Raid the Redemption” into a blender! The final product is a wonderful wacky huge body count of an action film that I will be enjoying many times over as I give it 4 stars.

Brainjacked (DVD) – Tristan is a young man thrown out on his ass and not sure where to go or what to do? While in a park for the night he is greeted by a beautiful young woman Laney who believes he is a male hooker but once the confusion is concluded she offers to help him. She brings the young man to a place of peace where a doctor helps lost young people by drilling holes into their skulls and giving them relief of whatever bothers them. The good doctor receives the name from the young people as “the gift giver”. Tristan hesitates but eventually gives the okay for the surgery but what seems wonderful at first but unleashes a dark secret the good doctor is hiding. Think of an independent version of ‘The Stepford Wives’ and ‘Disturbing Behavior’ but done better and more intense in my opinion in this exciting sci-fi horror film! Released in 2008/2009 this film to me at least should be talked about as an underground Indy classic as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Rejected (YouTube) – This short film from Rene Riva Productions is an interesting one as they made an anthology into 15 minutes with a ‘VHS’ vibe. It is late November 1997 at the Sonu Studios and a couple of TV hosts are showing the rejected ads for the new Sonu digital camera that takes floppy disk. The characters in these ads that use the new advanced camera face certain death! Plain and simple this is 15 minutes of horror awesomeness done right as I give this short film project 4 out of 4 stars.

The Primevals (Full Moon) – A passion project from no other than David Allenunder Charles Band’s Full Moon Pictures label that has been in some kind of production for decades. Sadly David Allen died in 1999 never seeing the project finished. As the story goes Allen who did the wonderful puppet effects in the first couple ‘Puppet Master’ films had been trying to get this project up and going for decades starting right after the film ‘Laserblast’. Not until the early 90s did Band have the funds for Allen to pull the production off but one thing after another happened causing this project to never being finished and talked about many Full Moon fans for years. But to Charles Band’s credit and some others getting involved in a recent crowd funding campaign the film was finished and restored so all of us fans get to see the fun stop-motion stuff that brings this picture to life! The story revolves around a discovered frozen Yeti and sent off to the U.S. for presentation to get everyone excited for such a creature. This event sparks an expedition to do research in the Himalayas to possibly find proof or another one of these creatures? Their adventure literally leads the group to another world where lizard people/things control the Yetis and rule in this possible alternate prehistoric world! The film comes off very family friendly but the real star is no doubt the stop motion effects of the Yeti and the lizard men that is just such a wonderful throwback to old school filmmaking that will thrill not just Full Moon fans but some cinema buffs too. Thank you to all who got this together for us movie fans to check out and thank you David Allen even though you didn’t get to see you finished product as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Longlegs (On Demand) – Another horror film starring Nic Cage but under a lot of makeup, set in the 90s, and… he is a serial killer known as ‘Longlegs’ or a cultist? Right out of the gate this film gets real creepy in the first couple minutes giving ‘Silence of the Lambs’ vibes that first time I watched Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lector in the early 90s! From there we are introduced to a young FBI Special Agent Harker who you wouldn’t exactly call psychic but gets a feeling as she is brought in on this long standing “Longlegs” case where on the 14th a family is murdered. First thought to be just murders by the father figure but things just never set right with the FBI especially with Longlegs sending them incoherent coded messages. The daughter in the family is always the target of Longlegs; her birthday is on the 14th every time as Harker is able to read the coded messages. Harker gets thrown into this unsolvable case mess as FBI finds out their special agent Harker was visited by Longlegs as a child and survived for an unknown reason. No matter what it comes too it is about “Hail Satan”! Trying not to give too much away about this super weird but entertaining as hell film. The further I got away from watching this feature the more I like it and want to go back for a rewatch sooner than later. You gotta enjoy when a film just gives you unsettling creepy vibes from beginning to end as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Curtains for Christmas (Blu-ray) – Great, just what we need another holiday film of goodness! But this isn’t just your usual Hallmark happy holiday festive bullcrap as director/co-writer Steve Rudzinski and co-writer Aileen Isley craft a tale of holiday terror about a young woman Holly who just wants Christmas to be perfect like her favorite holiday film. The film goes for the holiday throat in no time as Holly kills her boyfriend of eight months because he refuses to spend the holiday with her and won’t introduce Holly to his parents. (Absolutely love Holly chowing on the block of cheese depressingly watching her favorite holiday film). The murder is only the beginning as Holly now has conversations with an imaginary holiday rodent who is giving her advice as she believes there is still time for her to have the perfect Christmas like her favorite film. So why not go kill your way to having the perfect holiday where you fall in love, have a family, and it’s the greatest Christmas tale ever told. That is when she meets Jay and she puts her killing spree I mean plan into action. Everything from the gingerbread house contest to the fake kidnapped family for Holly makes this beyond entertaining and ends in a huge bloody mess of course. So grab the milk and cookies, and possibly a sharp knife to stab I mean to have with your loved one while watching this sick holiday treat as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Nano Shark (Tubi) – Maybe one of the surprises of 2024 is this entertaining shark film from filmmaker Brett Kelly. New tech has allowed scientists to possibly shrink a shark down to almost nothing to enter a boy’s bloodstream to seek out and kill a rare blood disease. But… you guessed it a janitor has the tiny shark and the tiny sub injected into his backside by accident. Now it’s up to the military sub team to guide the shark out of his peen hole before it goes back to its original size! Think ‘Innerspace’ with a shark on no budget. Just when you thought the shark ideas were done this hilarious flick comes along and proves there was one more shark movie related idea out there as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Cryptids (Dropbox) – Justin M. Seaman and Zane Hershberger at no time are not working on a project as they put together with some other filmmakers an anthology that uses the “Mothman Festival” as a back drop and the legendary movie host Joe Bob Briggs as Harlan Dean a radio host for a program about Cryptids. For this week’s show Harlan has asked callers to call in with stories that deal with cryptozoology! First story deals with a legend of “Melon Heads” or young people who were experimented on instead of being taken care of by their doctor and escaped the facility to live in the woods. Second story is about a park ranger and his partner facing off with a group of Sasquatches deep in the woods while looking for lost campers. (Which I quite enjoyed the ending) The third story is the hilarious entry of the bunch that I think holds the anthology together of a man who disappears in the woods after he finds a monstrous fish creature and has what seems like an acid trip? This story works well for where it is as it releases a little pressure of the tension that was built up by the first two stories. Fourth story is set on Halloween where a fisherman brings home a mysterious rock/large egg thing that he wants to use for his set up that night. Problem is the thing hatches and now little ghoulish things are running rampant through the house. The fifth is about two chupacabras chasing down individuals in a building for the fun of the Mexican cartel who watch it on closed circuit TV. The last story involves two young men who decide to have a monster hunt for a mysterious animal that may or may have not been eating all the neighborhood animals recently to set up a prank. The anthology comes in at a brisk 76 minutes with all entries being quite delightful and entertaining experiences into cryptozoology. The project is well casted, well shot, as has Justin and Zane showing off their talents once again in the world of low budget filmmaking as I give this anthology 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Dreams of the Dead (DVD) – Many moons ago (1994) a young Brad Sykes made a SOV horror film in Virginia but never released it, now it is soon to be. This bold and interesting horror vision introduces us to a young man named Adrian who begins to get letters to his home for a past resident who suddenly disappeared? The letters are all addressed to an Edgar Kim and this fascinates Adrian to the point of distracting him away from finishing a movie script with his friend. As Adrian slowly dwells on the mystery of Edgar Kim he begins to have visions of a beautiful woman who he doesn’t know but does know she is connected to Edgar in some way. Adrian refuses to let this go as it sucks him in deeper. Also let’s note I quite enjoyed the scene with Adrian looking up Edgar in the yellow pages oh those were the days in 1994. Without giving up the brilliant ending Brad’s film comes off more like a psychological thriller than a straight up horror film? I don’t know if Mr. Sykes pulled off exactly what he wanted but this movie has kind of a ‘Sledgehammer’ vibe that I believe will have SOV fans screaming to preorder this immediately as I give this project Mr. Sykes should be proud of 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Last Amityville Movie (Tubi) – For those of you still counting with me this is entry #59 into the long running franchise. This entry is from Josh Spiegel who plays himself in the film and considered a content creator and belongs to a horror online group that just covered the last Amityville film “Amityville Zoo”. Another pandemic comes down the pike affecting the world including trapping Josh’s wife and child in his hometown of Pittsburgh, Pa. Unemployed and a bored Josh begins to document everything online for his content during this new pandemic. One day Josh receives at his door a mysterious package from Amityville and it’s a doorknob? He makes fun of it online but immediately strange things begin to happen to him in his home. As things get weird he commits to filming everything until he can figure things out. Josh even has contact with a professor who explains that the doorknob is a cursed object from the original dwelling. Now Josh who recently bashed the Amityville series online and after some advice from a filmmaker of several entries has decided to turn this footage into a movie to hopefully be rid of the curse of Amityville. There are a lot of hilarious moments with Josh working in the absurdness of this series including “Amityville Vibrator”! Josh is all about breaking the curse including being chased by a bootleg CHUD in an alternate Amityville world?! I quite enjoyed this piece of entertaining cinema as Mr. Spiegel like Steve Rudzinski’s “Amityville Christmas Vacation” understood from the beginning to not take it too seriously. But just like Nathan Rumler’s “Amityville Vibrator” and the just mentioned Rudzinski project use your mind to put a great twist on the series that viewers will actually enjoy watching instead of moaning halfway through they are watching another shitty entry! Spiegel’s entry is well-crafted and a fun watch for all who have put themselves through watching so many of these Amityville movies as I give it 3 ½ stars. 

Body Count (DVD/YouTube) – So this latest venture into Indy cinema stars Jennifer Nangle! But it doesn’t just star Ms. Nangle she goes all John Saxon “Zombie Deathhouse” on us and stars, directs, writes, editor, produces, etc. Everything except for the music which I may say will go unnoticed but might be Rocky Gray’s best work? Anyway Jennifer and others put together an anthology of where Queen of Screams Malvolia is trying to kill randos in the wraparound with her band of misfits as there are stories to be told that flesh out this entertaining anthology! First story has an actress who has made one too many mistakes in her career and trying to get back on track or has she? As she is just trying to put pieces together that would allow her to gain her revenge… Second story is about an all-girls weekend that takes a turn to the sadistic because someone still holds a grudge from 15 years ago for a prank! Third story is about a trio of friends who set out to kill vampires. Fourth story is about old friends getting together and something goes horribly wrong as what was planned is turned upside down. Fifth story is about a woman who kills to get what she wants but runs into someone far more sinister because she hasn’t stuck with the code of witches. Before you flutter your eyes at another Indy anthology take note this was impressive as I mentioned Ms. Nangle decided to make this happen in all aspects of filmmaking which is impressive. And yes we all know unless it is “Creepshow” I am already gonna dislike the anthology but remember I also made one recently… What is funny about this one is Jennifer showed off more of her talent that most may give her credit for? Yeah the anthology isn’t perfect (it isn’t Creepshow) but she put together a 100 minute project that isn’t boring, doesn’t drag, or rely on nudity to get across what she wanted on screen and for that kudos as I give 3 out of 4 stars for this entertaining piece of art.

Great Documentaries I got to check out this year!

Blood, Guts and Sunshine 2: The History of Horror Made in Florida (DVD) – A sequel from Chris Woods who once again dives into the rich history of filmmaking in Florida. There are lots of stories and interviews with such legends Fred Olen Ray, J.R. Bookwalter, Sean Donohue, Chris Woods himself, along with a few well known online movie critics. The first entry dealt with a lot of recent Indy films that have been released and made there where this sequel explains the history of some of our favorite horror films being made there but how different parts of the state can be used for any part of the world for said film. I quite enjoyed also this documentary felt a little more polished than the first but the real gem might be Fred Olen Ray telling stories of how he sold his first film and his experiences early on in his career. Rather entertaining B-movie stuff that very few could pull off or even be done today. Entertaining as hell kids as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars and believe me you will learn something that you didn’t know from this doc. Soon to be available through www.gatorbladefilms.com  

In Search of the Last Action Heroes (Tubi) – An absolute gem of a documentary that talks all about action films and how they got started to how they have fizzled out these days. Everything from James Bond to Bruce Lee to George Miller to how filmmakers were inspired by 50s and 60s westerns to make the modern action film! This has a bit of everything to interest even the occasional viewer of action movies as I give it 4 stars.

Mad Max Exposed (Tubi) – An hour long documentary on everything Mad Max that covers everything from the stunts, the people who were a part of them, how they planned the movie, the design of the cars, to nothing stopping George Miller in putting together a film that changed car chase scenes forever. All of the cast exception of George Miller and Mel Gibson share stories throughout the hour that will have any Mad Max fan beaming and entertained in seconds as I give it 4 stars.

Dario Argento Panico (Shudder) – A documentary that thoroughly goes through the career of the Italian horror master and those who worked with him. The film takes you on a deep dive of Argento and what exactly lured and inspired him into filmmaking. There is also in-depth interviews with both of Dario’s daughters, yes you heard me right… both daughters! I only knew of Asia. Dario also has conversations about how his filmmaking shaped his family through the years as this is not just brilliant but eye opening doc on the legendary filmmaker as I give it 4 stars.

Men in Suits (YouTube) – This is a fascinating look at people in the monster suits we all grew up with that were in some of the most famous monster suits ever made for Hollywood films. Learned about this documentary while reading a book on ‘Creature from the Black Lagoon’ about a young lady who was the driving force behind this historical creature and all the work she did. You can find the book on Amazon and it’s called “The Lady from the Black Lagoon”. Real cool shit that proved some things I heard throughout the years. But anyway this documentary takes an inside look of who and why they do what they do. If you are all about practical effects, you are going to want to search this one out as I give it 4 stars.

Worst movie of the year that I watched…

Cheerleader Chainsaw Chicks (DVD) – A 2018 film that might be one of the worst things I have watched since “Amityville Mt. Misery Rd.” This was absolute crap! A trio of young ladies head to a cheerleader camp that is on a movie lot only to have their camp invaded by the three stooges of criminals because they hid their stash there! Complete nonsense happens as a dog is traded for the stash and no one dies by chainsaws… hell there is only three cheerleaders in the movie the exception is a quick edit of another team in another room for five seconds. This is a case of the filmmaker believes they are smarter and funnier than the audience and breaking news they are not. I hate to say this if anything this is a prime example of a movie that not only insults actual independent filmmakers but gives Indy films a bad name. Be aware I have already found the “WORST FILM I HAVE WATCHED IN 2024 ALREADY” as I give this 0 stars.

Gross Movie Reviews #629

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The Beekeeper (On Demand) – This is not just another run of the mill action film starring Jason Statham. I think this movie is going to have some legs for the next few years. A mysterious dude named Adam Clay has rented a barn from a Mrs. Parker out in the middle of nowhere where he raises “bees”! But when Mrs. Parker is taken in by a computer scam and commits suicide after seeing she has just lost her savings Clay finds the aftermath. This sends Mr. Clay to find the United Data Company and burn them down from bottom to top. This event sets in motion Mr. Clay to find everyone who is involved and just burned them to the ground so to speak! Mr. Clay is an agent for the government that is a failsafe. He works outside of all agencies but has unlimited funds and have been a part of the US for decades as they are unstoppable killers. This is one of the better action film ideas I have seen in recent memory and love this concept as this taps into a very real-time subject that everyone could get behind and would want to happen as our government sucks at trying to control shit like this? Plus this movie doesn’t waste time at all throughout, there is no filler as Clay is just killing almost from the time it begins till the great ending as they still had time to fit in some interesting characters. This film gets my approval big time as I say you need to watch this as I give it 4 stars.

The Gladiator (YouTube) – A mid-80s TV movie from the dude that gave us ‘Driller Killer’ that I found out recently existed from my good friend/brother T-shirt Joe Garcia at www.fastcustomshirts.com . The film stars Nancy Allen, Rick Dees, Stan Shaw, and a bad ass 1969 Charger… Talk about a huge “let’s pick out of the grab bag of ideas”? The premise of this flick is a mysterious dude in this 1969 Charger (that never runs out of gas by the way) runs people off the road for fun. Rick and his younger brother become victims one evening after a bit of road rage. Rick survives the mishap barely only to become consumed with tracking down bad drivers and reporting them to the police with his bad ass 70s Silverado which by the way is able to shoot a grappling hook! Rick is literally making citizen’s arrest which is just laughable and just adds to the dramatic filler of this film. I wanted more out of this but maybe this is why TV movies in the mid-80s were dying off as they were not given as much creative freedom or their time passed unlike the fun times of the 70s TV movies as I could only give this 2 stars.

Raiders of the Living Dead (VHS) – A weird mid-80s no budget film that has been on my list of shit to track down to watch for years. We get someone investigating zombies, a boy making a laser gadget out of a laserdisc player (we are not dating this movie immediately?), and a movie that doesn’t make a whole lick of sense… This is most likely why this film wasn’t the easiest to track down and watch as I cannot give it more than 1 star.

The Boogens (Blu-ray) – By now I am sure most horror movie fans have either watched this film or have heard about it and have varying opinions on it: Too dark, the monsters barely show up, not enough people died, or this was one my favorite films to see on HBO when growing up in the early 80s. This was one of those horror films that slowly faded away as the 80s crept on and this title went out of print without anybody paying attention. Then sometime in the early 2000s when movies such as this were starting to pop up finally this movie was found by a newer generation of horror fans and that is how I believe it eventually had the rights bought up so it could see the light of day again in physical media? Anyway, set in Colorado, late February a small crew is reopening a mine that had a cave-in and strange happenings 70 years before. Talk of creatures eating miners and such fun crap. Well after this crew reopens the mine the strange bloodthirsty creatures awaken to feast again on those who dare enter their domain! For me this film just hit right when I was young watching it on the HBO, so almost every year in late February I am usually watching this with ‘My Bloody Valentine’ because I am a horror nerd at heart. But this is a recent Blu-ray release with a 4K transfer from Kino Lorber that let’s be honest I don’t how much cleaner they can get this? Anyhow, there aren’t a lot of extras but it does have two different commentaries from the director, cast, and film historian Howard S. Berger which were interesting if you enjoy the film?  Also there is a little cool featurette called William Munns: The Man Who Made the Boogens. A fun interview that pretty much explains what we have and why and most likely why there really isn’t any deleted scenes floating out there as I give this proper release 3 stars.

The Monster that Challenged the World (DVD) – Just another fun 50s movie where after an earthquake under the ocean an ancient giant creature is released and begins to breed as it feeds on humans. Now only the scientists and the US Navy are the ones that can save humanity! One of those late night horror host favs that should be watched with friends or at a drive-in as I give it 3 stars.

A Haunting in Venice (On Demand) – Kenneth Branagh returns in this third entry as Detective Hercule who is lured out of retirement to figure out if a medium is a fraud or not? Feeling off his game and starting to believe in ghosts at a home that is believed to be haunted but also the cause of a young woman’s death he investigates. It dabbles into paranormal a little here but never goes over the edge and remembers what these movies are supposed to be and that is mysteries. I have enjoyed all three entries of the series so far and surprised they made a third one as I didn’t believe the second one did much box office? Anymore these days Hollywood is driven by greed like most things in this world and we don’t exactly get entertained by movies these days or taken to a different world if that makes sense for 90 or 120 minutes as often as we should… Anyway horror fans if looking for something a little different? You don’t need to see the first two flicks and you like ghosts stories well this is all you as I give it 3 stars.

Johnny Z (Tubi) – A recent Indy zombie flick I have followed over the past year seeing where I could grab a copy or watch it somewhere since the concept interest me. A little tough waiting as I believe it may have hit some festivals and such but now widely available for us weird Indy movie fans. This Spanish/English combo works in many ways to tell a story that is set already in a world overrun with zombies as people continue to live among them. We also have a corporation that of course has the cure for this terrible plague in a thing called “Patient Z” that they want to use for their rich friends and basically control the world kind of thing. But after this creation is broken out of the facility “Patient Z” or eventually “Johnny Z” is taken in by an older man (Jonray) who has been broken by the zombie plague. Slowly these two form a bond and try to protect each other from the corporation coming to collect their project. I quite enjoyed and was entertained by the subject matter this Indy flick tackles here as it was more complex than it looks? They try to inject something new and a little difficult to pull off into a ‘dead’ Indy genre “zombies” but that is just my opinion. I like some of the people who worked behind the scenes as their names are familiar if you are an Indy fan and we get a quick appearance from one of the best Indy actresses out there in Ellie Church. Overall this film kicks ass and entertaining as hell but I also believe there is a little bit of filler in the middle that could have been cut out of its 94 minute running time. Kudos to all involved as this might be the closest thing in independent cinema anytime soon I have seen like Zane Hershberger’s “Force to Fear” as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #616

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The Devil’s Ground (DVD) – The latest from the independent filmmaker Dan Komarek that is a found footage film of sorts that was believed to be lost forever in the Video Nasty Productions warehouse. But recently by accident Dan came across a flash drive he thought was completely erased years ago and was broken?  To the best of his ability he has brought this decades old footage to life again to see this rather haunting 29 minute short film of a man trying to finish a manuscript in his home. But the man hears things and possibly sees things leading him to believe someone or something mysterious is in the home as the man leaves his computer to investigate. Fans of Mr. Komarek will enjoy this no budget effort that is rough around the edges as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Swamp Woman (DVD) – Sean Donohue and Gatorblade Films go in a different direction than the usual with this parody of a monster film of sorts? He made a no budget parody of ‘Swamp Thing’?  Anyhow kids it all starts in 1983 where our beaches are being polluted by toxic waste from Biotech Prime but now in present day they are still doing it but quieter. We are introduced to a scientist Angela Honeydew who is going to change the world with her genesplicing formula but it’s stolen from her when another scientist (evil of course) Dr. Olsen sends his thugs after her. A battle ensues between thugs and Dr. Honeydew as she gets covered in her own formula and runs naked for the swamp only to come back out later as a changed person/thing. Now the new monstrous Dr. Honeydew wants revenge and seeks those who stole her formula. This hilarious over the top ‘Swamp Thing’ parody has everything! Sean Donohue playing the most monotone doctor on purpose that almost had tears of laughter coming out of me, Joel D. Wynkoop pretty much stealing the movie with his performance that felt like Mark Hamil’s version of the Joker being a scientist, and most of all kudos to Sushii Xhyvette Holder for wearing full body make up and running through the swamp fully nude as Swamp Woman. Now I don’t know if Mr. Donohue was trying for a parody here but I will say this “it was one of his best films to date” from Gatorblade Films as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. P.S…. Donohue did make sure there was a shower scene for yinz!  

Wolf Hollow (Blu-ray) – Mark Cantu and friends attempted what usually fails in independent cinema… a werewolf film. This story takes place in small town America ‘Wolf Hollow’ or not too far from where I reside. A year after an incident that was a complete bloodbath that the town would like to keep quiet as a familiar face with filmmaker friends returns home to use his family property that has a scare house on it he would like to use for filming. But Ray and Bart still haven’t worked out their differences even though they are family and werewolves. Add in small town politics not for the better, small town secrets, and werewolves just not into being pushed around and we have a fun howling at the moon monster movie with heart and great costumes. What adds to this low budget production is some star power in Felissa Rose, Lynn Lowry, and Hannah Fierman given the right character roles to help this film get the right kind of notice. If you have read my reviews in the past you know I can be rough on Indy werewolf films but I am glad I can say with confidence this is the best Indy werewolf flick I have seen since Todd Sheets’ “Bonehill Road” as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Tale of the Bone Collector (DVD) – More short film stuff from MMH Productions where a young cub scout or a scout for some of yinz that don’t know what that is tells his little sister a story about a monster that eats kids in tents. Problem is his story comes to life and gives the viewer a fun bone crunching ending as I give this short 3 out of 4 stars.

Bugged Out (DVD) – A somewhat trippy short film from MMH Productions that some might see as a page out of a David Lynch script as a weird man collects bugs. One night this man goes to sleep only to awake to some rather large bugs pay him a visit in his bedroom and nothing good can come of that as I give this one 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Drugula (DVD) – I would like to say this might have been the worst short film out of the bunch from MMH Productions I watched but it had me laughing. The story consists of a vampire selling drugs to humans then has them ingest them to become part of his ever growing vampire army. You got me to laughso I got give this one 2 out of 4 stars.

The Yellow Car (DVD) – MMH Productions gets an ‘A’ for effort on this one for doing a killer car short film on no budget as a bright yellow Camaro gets back at its owner for mistreatment of it. This short film may have showed off the talent of MMH Productions more than you think if pay attention a little closer as I give this one 3 out of 4 stars.

Spirits (DVD) – A short film where a man who doesn’t believe in the paranormal is visited by spirits. In my opinion this may have been the worst of the bunch from MMH Productions as this felt to me at least there was no real beginning or end as I give this 1 out of 4 stars.

Rats (DVD) – A short film where a man is terrorized by a large fake rat is able to accomplish his mission of getting rid of the foul thing. As two years go by a zombie version of the fake rat returns to exact revenge on the man in this little project from MMH Productions as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Benny (DVD) – This short film maybe a little uncomfortable for some viewers as MMH Productions tells a story of a sleazy dude who has a sick habit of enjoying his pet dogs in more ways than one and gets a new dog on a regular basis as I give this project 2 out of 4 stars.

All Nighter (DVD) – A rather rough short film that I felt could have used a little more touching up and footage of two friends watching TV all night that are visited by an unwanted evil visitor. Again this short film has potential if MMH Productions would have spent a little more time processing what they were actually going for as I give this 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Attack of the Killer Chickens: The Movie (DVD) – If you crazy horror fans enjoyed ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ and ‘Attack of the Killer Donuts’ and you enjoyed the independent out this world spirit of ‘Llamageddon’ then yinz are gonna love this nutzoid mess of Space Chickens! I believe this was first released in 2015 then rereleased in 2022 is from the talented mind of Genoveva Rossi who directs, produces, writes, and stars in this masterpiece of horror comedy. The movie starts quick and does not let off the gas pedal as Killer Space Chickens have arrived to enslave all of mankind. From there like I said no letting off the gas pedal as we get a bad parody scene from ‘The Warriors’, chicken and human sex, a vegan bounty hunter, cowboy chicken fighting in a bar, chickens playing poker, more chicken and human sex, and some cameos to boot. To top all of this complete hilarity there is an ending that will have you laughing in an comfortable manner as I give this project 3 out of 4 stars.

Mindbender (DVD) – A rather heavy short film from newer filmmaker (to me at least) in Jason Burke about a father who is a doctor who was let go from his practice after 30 years as he was the scapegoat for a patient being lost. What doesn’t help the situation is this father is taking care of his terminally ill grown daughter. But dear old dad has a secret as his patients fully trust him and his methods in this effective, depressing short film that will make you think once viewed as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

The Limbo Café (DVD) – Another professionally shot independent short film from Jason Burke that has a young woman stopping at a coffee shop on a rainy night. As she greeted by the hostess the two get talking and this rain soaked young lady explains how she is looking for a fresh start. But the more time spent at the coffee shop the young woman Atria becomes a little uneasy of the place as she experiences things. But it is too late before Atria understand this café isn’t some mysterious out of the way place. Intentional or not this gave me a fun feeling of watching those episodes of HBO’s ‘The Hitchhiker’ a few decades back as a kid and for that I gotta give this project 3 out of 4 stars.

Grave Encounters (DVD) – This Jason Burke simple short film has an abundance of substance to it that you will pick up on in the end as a couple strolling through a graveyard and reminiscing about their past two years together. This could be seen as depressing but I feel other independent filmmakers might it inspiring as again there is a lot of substance to this one as I give 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Shackles (DVD) – A Jason Burke film that has no dialogue but uses music and the actors’ actions to tell the story as a man wakes everyday only to be haunted by a beautiful lady whose simple presence is just defeating to the main character. He hopes every time he wakes not to see her but finally gets the courage to push by, smile, and go out his front door. This is some of the best story telling film wise I have seen since: The Misled Romance of Cannibal Girl and Incest Boy and Hexercise as I give this inspiring tale 4 out of 4 stars.

Meg 2: The Trench (On Demand) – Jason Statham returns, big freakin ancient sharks return, terrible CGI returns, and this film has it all including a much better storyline than the original as Jason Statham and friends must again stop giant ancient sharks from eating all the humans as I give the sequel 3 stars. Yeah I am weird as I enjoyed this film more than the original!

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #557

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Gross Movie Reviews #557

House of the Damned (DVD) – This early 60s creep fest has a man named Scott doing a favor for a friend by going to this out of the way place to do an architectural survey of a coastal castle. Once Scott retrieves keys to the “Rochester Place” some strange things seem to be happening but nothing too scary until a woman disappears. After some investigation we come to found out the castle was a haven for carnival workers who no longer had a home. Spooky with an odd ending makes me give this oddity 2 ½ stars.

Voodoo Apocalypse (DVD) – An independent production filmed in Spain with an ambitious idea of a Grindhouse film set in 1979 Mexico. Two cops: White Chocolate and Charlie Vargas team up to bring down an elusive drug dealer Jimmy Vanilla. The film loses some steam over time but overall is still a fun production that looks mostly watered down to American audiences since the theme has been done to death but I still give it 2 stars.

Piranha (DVD) – Another 70s film of the same name but has no relation to the wonderful Corman flick that stars William Smith as a bad ass hunter in Nicaragua. A brother/sister combo head to the jungle for a photo shoot and run across this bad ass hunter character in a bar and quickly become friends. Everything is pretty innocent enough until the hunter wants more and makes the siblings his prey. A slow build up but a fun payoff for this early 70s flick that I give 2 stars too.

Attack of the Giant Leeches (DVD) – This late 50s flick centers on a new wildlife officer working the swamp country where he believes a monster might be killing off local folk? Problem becomes very convincing when the locals see tentacles attacking and not the usual hungry gators! These monstrous things are kidnapping people so they will be food for these things later on as I give this executive produced Corman drive-in special 2 ½ stars.

Bleeding Steel (DVD) – A newer Jackie Chan film where after a huge shootout with Jackie and his team trying to protect a doctor and his experiment in protective custody. Shit goes south pretty quick and gets brutal… 13 years later and the fallout continues when this mad evil genius villain dude is in Sydney, Australia tracking down a teenager who supposedly has been implanted with the bio-blood and experimental heart. She is able to regenerate if needed reason for the evil genius tracking her down how many years later. After all these years Jackie Chan is still protecting her and can still kick ass at his advanced age as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Sudden Death (DVD) – Valarie Wells is a successful woman who one evening gets beat up and raped by two men who stole a taxi. With the lack of police help she of course goes all ‘Death Wish’ on dudes as she tracks down the two hoodlums who screwed her up. She gathers such a kill count she becomes known as “the dum dum killer”. No JCVD here but this 1985 direct-to-video flick packs enough revenge killings to keep the older audience interested as I give this lesser known VHS treat 2 ½ stars.

Blitz (DVD) – Jason Statham is a bad ass cop who gets the job done even if it means coloring outside the lines a bit but never crossing the line. He is warned by his superiors to keep a low profile after the latest incident has hit the papers but he is quickly brought back into the fold when a young man decides to be a cop killer. Barry wants to be known and wants to kill all cops brutally. Your usual cookie cutout action flick but Jason Statham always seems to make even the average action cop flicks worth watching as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (On Demand) – HOLY F’N SHIT! It took 24 years but yinz finally made a movie that is worthy of the games. There is no Ali Larter or Milla whoever… Point is yinz went with the idea of combining the first two games, making the film R-rated, and presto we finally got the horror film we all deserved. No, the films isn’t perfect but after what six, seven F’N ‘Resident Evil’ films I can actually sit and enjoy one… Yes kids, go support this so we get the sequel that is needed as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Candyman (On Demand) – So what do we call it? Remake, sequel, continuation… whatever you the viewer wanna call it, I want to call it a good movie. I enjoyed the respect the original got and how this present story not only connects to the original but ties in some of the social things of today’s world. I enjoyed the snide comments about present day things because they are all very relevant. It has been 30 years since the Candyman has been present but when a struggling artist finds the old ghetto of Chicago he falls down the rabbit hole of bringing Candyman to light again. I enjoyed the first film and I enjoy this film all the sequels are just filler but to the new viewers this should make you want to introduce yourself to Tony Todd and the underrated character of “Candyman” as I give this 3 stars.

Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet (DVD) – Oh shit kids yinz need to see this as this sci-fi craziness from the mid-60s stars Basil Rathbone (go look that one up young people?) and it is set in year 2020! Fuck yeah I am in! Anyhow there is Moon colonies for astronauts to hang out while they make the jump to Venus so they can explore the planet. Once there they find all kinds of late night horror host fun with dinosaurs and shit that wants to eat them! All joking aside this is a fun cheesy flick to introduce to friends who like beer and movies as I give this 3 stars.

The Amityville Horror (DVD) – Holy crap I have never reviewed the original scary fuckin house flick that didn’t just affect me but a whole generation of people. The Lutz family supposedly buys a house and within 28 days a ghost, demon, etc. makes the family move out because they will die. Now, the source material is much scarier and sketchy than the actual film now that we all know too much? The film that made haunted house flicks still a thing has lost its luster now that I am revisiting it after many years. It has a great cast but I truly believe this film is dated and no way holds better than ‘The Exorcist’ or ‘The Omen’ but that is for a whole other conversation. Not saying avoid this horror classic but unlike some other horror greats time has not been kind to this feature that stars a James Brolin and Margot Kidder as I give it 2 stars (sorry horror fans).

Inferno (DVD) – Always looking to cleanse the palate or just trying to find some action flick only two people in a basement of a home in Nebraska I came across this freaking gem starring JCVD and Danny Trejo! Oh folks, this was like the “Price is Right” of action films as it was a gaggle full actors that were looking for a paycheck show up! The review would be two pages long if I listed all the familiar faces in this… But anyway JCVD aka Eddie is riding through the desert to go see his old war buddy to give him a present and advice on a journey? But some meth heads controlled by Larry Drake interrupt this journey and steal his present. Saved by Danny Trejo, Eddie seeks revenge and turns a small town on these half-wit drug dealers. A not well-known 1999 JCVD flick that is worth the search to watch as I give it 3 stars for the mere reason you could make this a drinking game every time you named a celebrity in this shit.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #538

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Gross Movie Reviews #538

Henchman: The Al Leong Story (DVD) – A wonderful look inside of one of the coolest villains on screen for decades. Even if you didn’t know his name you knew the face and as soon as he appeared you the movie viewer most likely got a little excited. The documentary dives deep into Mr. Leong’s life as he was an established karate champion who loved motorcycles that just happen to do stunt work and loved it. His work got him to work with just about every memorable celebrity in Hollywood. But after his stroke in 2005, Mr. Leong has made a long recovery and only recently started doing interviews and conventions. Love documentaries and got time to kill enjoy this treat and hear all the good stuff said about a man whose face is more recognizable than some of the Hollywood stars of now as I give it 3 stars.

Army of the Dead (On Demand) – The super-hyped Zack Snyder zombie project begins with the military transporting a secret payload aka an unstoppable zombie. An accident happens on the highway outside of Vegas and of course it’s time for a feast for fast changing zombies. After the big fallout some time passes and the city is walled off from the rest of civilization as the government is about to nuke the city to contain the mess. But Dave Batista and is his team of mercs, safe experts, and pilots are given an opportunity to go in to the dangerous zombie filled city and collect 200 million dollars. They have 32 hours until the nukes come raining down! A fun, gory, we get a zombie tiger, popcorn zombie flick that runs way too long but doesn’t take itself too seriously which in the end is a good thing as I give the film 3 stars.

Ouija Mummy (DVD) – From the same people that gave us the disappointing ‘Lycanimator’ came back a year later and gave us a no-budget treat that needs to seeked out by independent film lovers. Anyway a woman brings home some ancient jewelry from a recent Egyptian dig then commits suicide. Not too long after a young couple buys the house and moves in and have a house warming party. Of course Natalie’s guy wants to make her happy and after finding the artifact in the home gives it to Natalie as a house warming gift. Between this and Natalie’s obsession with wanting to play with an Ouija board during the party cause a royal demon to possess Natalie’s body and terror ensues! You will notice a lot of cool Indy names are attached to this project, some cheap but effective effects go a long way, and filmmaker and cast learning from mistakes (Lycanimator) make this a diamond in the rough independent film that not many are talking much about. I give this excellent Indy flick 3 ½ stars as I believe once the story gets going it has this cheap ‘Night of the Demons’ vibe, so enjoy!

Teenage Zombie House Massacre (DVD) – As I refuse to stop looking for ‘massacre’ flicks I find this (2000) grainy 36 minute S.O.V. film from Speed Freak Productions. A group of teenagers plan to have a party at a supposedly haunted house at the end of the tracks. Once there of course it is “sex time”, never mind if the bedroom smells like it is time for them to bang like bunnies! It is all about innocent love in a smelly abandoned home until hidden zombies show up and begin chomping on the young party goers. The film quickly boils down to the teens must pay for disturbing the dead as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

The Last Chase (DVD) – I would have never guessed there is a post-apocalyptic film starring Lee Majors in 1981 but hey we got one and it co-stars the kid who played Rudy in ‘Meatballs’. Lee Majors is Frank Hart a race car driver who like most people has lost his family to a strange virus that shut down the world. As time went on oil was shut off from the public and things went downhill from there. Twenty years has passed and humans have conformed to a more “government is watching” society where rules have changed and no one owns a car. You must use mass transit, walk, or a bike. Frank a loner is still trying to fit in this new life but cannot and digs up his old race car in the garage after being told he needs to watch what he says in a public setting for the ‘utility commission’. Meanwhile a teenager who keeps tapping into the government’s computers believe there is more out there than what the government are allowing you to do? So the misfit hitches a ride with Frank to escape to California so they can live free. The government refuses to allow someone to escape to the Free State so they call up an old jet fighting pilot into duty since pilots no longer exist and have him go after the two. An oddity for Lee Majors I thought but thank the lord Rutger Hauer for someone pointing out this wonderful gem I never heard of as I give it 3 stars.

Teen Massacre (DVD) – In 2004 before ‘Jack Brooks the Monster Slayer’ this young filmmaker put together a short film set in 1986 where a group of students are out in the woods getting soil samples for a class project. Bored, the students stumble upon a half human thing in a locked cage. Curiosity getting the best of the students, they release it and the thing obliterates his victims or said students. This is a glorious fun mess of a short film needing to be revisited again and again as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Supervan (DVD) – This 1977 vanspolitation film has a young man (Morgan) quit his job so he can drive his van to a competition on Halloween weekend to win $5000! But along the way Morgan’s van gets crushed in a junkyard while saving a cute lady from some bikers. So of course he goes visit his engineering buddy who just so happens to be working on this super-secret project aka solar powered van man named Vandora. A project a major car maker doesn’t want the public to know about because he wants all of yinz to keep buying gas guzzlers. So the couple head off to this van festival for all sorts of sex, drugs, and van competition for the coolest van ever! As long as the couple can stay away from the hijinks of Tex they should have no problem winning at the van event as I give the film 2 stars. It felt like ‘Convoy’ but with vans and on Halloween for some odd reason.

The Kansas City Massacre (DVD) – I believe this was a TV movie from 1975 set in the early 30s where two gangsters break out their fellow criminal from prison. Not long from the prison break they go rob a bank and run into another gang they thought was the police at first. They join forces and begin robbing ten different banks in three different states. This catches the eyes of the F.B.I. as they put together a special task force to bring these criminals to justice. Pretty Boy Floyd has second thoughts after one of their partners is captured and sets up a peaceful exchange but a huge shootout happens (Kansas City Massacre) and Floyd comes into info that he was set up by the police commissioner. Floyd wants revenge and even explains to the F.B.I. once he has revenge the criminal activity will end. I give it 2 stars… I knew I was going to watch it as it has ‘massacre’ in the title.

Presidents’ Day Massacre (DVD) – A subpar 2015 no budget horror film where an inmate escapes from prison heading to a place called Little Jamestown. Apparently there was a murder a year ago in the little town and now the masked killer is there to restart his killing spree. The spree begins at a lame house party full of seniors with the reveal of the killer that will most likely put you to sleep as I give it a ½ star.

Gutter Punk Massacre (DVD) – A bad 2014 flick out of New Mexico where it looks like a crazed man in flannel is bursting into houses and killing people. But you quickly find out a middle-aged dude armed with a medical facemask and a blow dart controls this individual to kill randomly. The whole reason for the chaos is because the good doctor is sucking punk ding dong for $20 a pop in the office! The film is a chaotic hot mess that doesn’t make too much sense but has a severed punk wiener picked up by a detective and a hilarious death to the skull by a Pabst beer. The weird part is I could see a cult following for this film if those involved really tried pushing it out there on social media but anyway I give it a ½ star.

Wrath of Man (On Demand) – Jason Statham’s latest where he plays a man who lost his son during a robbery of a cash truck where one of the burglars kill his son in the street. After a short recovery in the hospital he gets a job with the cash truck company simply known as “H”. This helps him get a foot in the door and track down how and why his son died but the kicker is everyone is a criminal and no good guys as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

The Spade County Massacre (DVD) – A small town that was scared to death by a cult several years was put to rest by the town sheriff. The sheriff wrongly accused a local man named Doug and everything seems to go away for about five years. Now there is talk of the cult being back and the sheriff is looking at Doug for anything that may go down in the small town. But with a new deputy on the force who is looking into the old files of this cult not everything looks like they seem with the old sheriff and Doug. The cult believes in resurrection of the dead and in Spade County the dead doesn’t always stay dead. A pretty boring horror flick trying to combine demons, the undead, crooked cop, bad effects, and a serial killer as I give it a ½ star.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

That time of the month for new episodes of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks

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This week it’s the law of diminishing returns as we check out all 3 flicks the Tales From The Crypt had to offer in the excellent (and perhaps the best 90’s horror movie) Demon Knight, Bordello of Blood, and Ritual.  We also answer your listener questions and serve up a slice have been watching this week.

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

 

It’s Shark Week!!!  We got the new Jason Statham Jam THE MEG.  The sequel to the greatest summer blockbuster of all time in JAWS 2, and a flick we have been wanting to see for a while now in HOUSE SHARK.  Also we do the normal of reader questions and we recall this week’s watching habits.  Also we have a serious discussion of the pros and cons of the theatrical experience.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #446

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Gross Movie Reviews #446

 

A Quiet Place (DVD) – So this cool and different monster flick kinda pooped out there into the cinemas earlier this year and surprised horror fans. The movie begins on Day 89 in a post-apocalyptic world where some monsters have pretty much taken over the world and laid waste to humans. They are attracted to sound and will find you if you make a sound. The story centers on a family that uses sign language to communicate with each other and wear no shoes. On their way back from looking for food their son is playing with a toy that makes sound and the monster comes and snatches him up. We fast forward 400 days and the family is still living in silence and still have hope that they can find a weakness to hurt these flesh-eating monsters. They find the answer by accident when the daughter’s hearing aid makes static sound. I give the filmmakers props for a different concept and a cool looking monster. It was so cool to see a different kind of monster flick and for that I give 3 stars.

House Shark (DVD) – So in the village of Liverpool, Frank the cop lives with his son and is a divorcee. Frank is about to go out on his first date in a very long time. So Frank leaves his son with Betsy the babysitter. But apparently a period fart lures a shark to come up the commode and eat Betsy ass first. Frank and son shocked move out of the house and live in the backyard in a tent. Besides no one believes Frank’s story of a shark in the house he refuses to live inside. The bank is about to foreclose and the real estate company is pissed they cannot sell it because of Frank. So they get Frank away from the house long enough for people to come by to see if they want to buy it? They do but are eaten by the ‘House Shark’ but not before another witness sees it happen and we get the great line, “John stop! I don’t want anybody to see your fingers up my butt!” Frank finds a “House Shark” expert in Zachary Taylor and the real estate company sends in Abraham Lincoln… kind of to help take care of this shark issue. The independent horror film is filled with tons of jokes that keep the movie moving right along including the hilarious shark costume. I really enjoyed this shark as I couldn’t stop laughing but again people it should be pushing two hours long. But kudos to you Ron Bonk for making a legit cool Indy shark flick as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Land Shark (DVD) – The latest from Mark Polonia and crew that stars Sarah French whose character works for the Malco Research Corp. Of course they have been experimenting with sharks but little does Ms. French’s character knows they are secretly trying to make the sharks into weapons. She finds this out after some sharks have crawled out of the tank on land and have killed some people. Malco believes the project is going in the right direction until the sharks are out of control. All this film was missing was Joe Estevez and “Roller Gator” as I give the film 2 out of 4 stars.

 

The Meg (Theater) – So Jason Statham showed up in this cornball shark movie that is nothing more than a much higher budgeted ‘SyFy Channel Shark Week’ flick. Statham is Jonas who is only one of a few people who have gone 10000 feet for a rescue. Five years ago he had to leave two buddies behind saving a crew of a sub that was under attack by something. No one believed him it was a large shark. Present time off the coast of China a crew has been attacked and disabled on the bottom of the ocean and Jonas is called in for the rescue. They are saved but the very large shark has followed them and now is feeding on all in the ocean. Like I said, “cornball movie”. If you are not expecting much you will be entertained but otherwise wait for the “Sharknado” sequel as I give this 2 ½ stars.

 

Revenge (DVD) – A French horror flick that deals with a young woman who is with her much older married boyfriend for a weekend. Then his two hunting buddies show up. They cannot control themselves and they get very touchy. The boyfriend tries to smooth over the event with a check but she runs out of the house and the men run after her. Once the heated exchange settles and supposedly a helicopter is coming to pick her up she is pushed off a cliff to her death. The men figure to clean her up while they come back through hunting. But she is able to burn the tree she was impaled on and escape. Now injured but very pissed she seeks revenge against the three men. A wild and gory time but the film has been done many times before but I did enjoy the gory ending as I give it 2 stars.

 

Horrors in the Witch’s House (DVD) – Alex Wesley and his gore hound friends are at it again with his latest short film about a man named Azulyat who was just released from prison. Azulyat has a debt to pay but has a plan. His plan is go to his aunt’s house, kill her, and sell the house off to pay the debt. But once there Azulyat decides to do some heroin and finds his aunt was into some demonic shit and hid it in the attic. Not thinking he has messed with some dark magic and now it has come back to haunt him and make him suffer. As usual these guys bring the gore and guts in bucket loads and do not disappoint with their latest effort as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Legacy of Blood (DVD) – This weird 1971 horror flick has John Carradine dying at the beginning of the film and is going to leave his inheritance to his family and staff. But there is a catch they must spend the night in his home that is considered evil by the family. There are flashbacks of abuse, possible incest, and just plain weird shit going down. The interesting part is if someone leaves or doesn’t survive the night their share is split up among those that are left. Kind of an oddity of a horror flick as it doesn’t exactly fit a genre of horror flick but well worth the watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Brutal Massacre (DVD) – David Naughton is Harry Penderecki, a famous low budget horror filmmaker whose last few films haven’t made a dime. Harry is shopping around a new project that he believes could get him back on the right track. He is mostly known for the films: Sasquatch in the Mall, People Pesticide, Bowel Movements, but believes this flick will be different? Hollywood gives him one last chance and not much of a budget to pull off his last project. Meanwhile a documentarian named Bert follows around Harry to see the process of the film from pre-production to finished product. Everything you can think of goes wrong with the troubled production but because of the non-ending it becomes the elusive masterpiece he has lived for. Great roles filled by Gunnar Hansen and Ken Foree in this absolutely hilarious film and possibly David’s best since “The Sleeping Car”. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Lion (Vimeo) – The latest short film from Davide Melini that deals with child abuse. An abused child is in bed trying to sleep and wishes to his stuffed lion to not be hit anymore. Once his stuffed lion hits the floor his wish comes true when his father is watching a program with lions on it. A great way to get a message out about child abuse as the short film deserves 4 out of 4 stars. Well done Davide, well done sir.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #414

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Gross Movie Reviews #414

 

The Video Dead (DVD) – A package is delivered to the door of Mr. Jordan aka ‘Bullshit artist’. Problem is Mr. Jordan didn’t order anything but takes it anyhow. It’s a T.V. and Mr. Jordan is a writer so he just sets it up in the living room and goes about his merry way. The T.V. begins playing by itself a black and white zombie flick. When he goes to check it out the zombies come out of the T.V. The delivery people come back the next day to Mr. Jordan dead as the package was supposed to go to “The Institute of Occult Studies”. A few months pass and a couple young college kids, Jeff and Zoe show up to movie in to help out their parents. Jeff finds the weird T.V. talking to him from the attic one night and plugs it in his bedroom. Weird shit happens including an old dude from Texas who has been looking for the T.V. to destroy it and what’s in it. They must hunt the zombies down: destroy them or get them back into the television. A great low budget zombie flick from 1987 that doesn’t play by the typical “zombie rules” and has that S.O.V. feel to it. The effects are great, the plot is very different than most zombie flicks, and you get David Bowie zombie! I give this must watch gem 4 stars.

The Creep Behind the Camera (Blu-ray) – An amazing reenactment documentary about filmmaker Vic Savage aka A.J. Nelson aka Arthur White aka most likely had a few other names. Otherwise a film that documents the insanity behind the making of a bad movie of 1964’s “The Creeping Terror” before stuff like “Troll 2” and “Cursed” were even thought of. Vic gets the filmmaking bug and moves himself and his first wife out to Hollywood during the 50s to make “the biggest monster movie anyone has seen!” Never mind the bad movie as much as Vic Savage was a complete psycho, womanizer, drug addict, drunk, con man! True stories told by living cast members, his first wife, producer, etc. Vic Savage was such a complete maniac that his monster maker stole his own creation during filming because he wasn’t paid, change actresses, sets, hung out with Charles Manson (before we all knew who he was), god complex, threesomes, Vic was completely insane. So insane he disappears into the night leaving what was considered the finished product/film in the garage with no sound, slate, etc. This is stuff that could not be made up about a film that is one of the first two movies I can legitimately remember watching. This film started it all for me and to watch this and learn of this insanity just made me absolutely love this documentary! It is beautiful insanity that needs to be watch and rewatched to be believed! There is lots of cool extras on the Blu-ray: The Creeping Terror movie of course but my favorite extra “How to Build a Carpet Monster”. Once again, Synapse Films does not disappoint as I give this wonderful package 4 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.synapse-films.com .

Phenomena (Blu-ray) – The creepy Dario Argento film that stars a young Jennifer Connelly who plays a character named Jennifer who can communicate with bugs. Her famous father sends her to a gifted Swiss school where of course she isn’t well liked. Doesn’t help Jennifer sleep walks and finds herself outside almost being run down by a couple of weirdos and eventually meets a Dr. McGregor played by Donald Pleasance an entomologist. Besides the good doctor explaining she is in the part of the mountains that is considered the “Swiss Transylvania” he does notice and admire Jennifer’s ability with insects. The doctor soon recruits her help in his research for a killer in the area who is killing young women. The Blu-ray pack has three different versions of the film: The 110-minute hybrid cut which was awesome and never seen, the 110-minute international cut, and the 83-minute U.S. cut called “Creepers” which I grew up seeing. Along with a commentary and the different versions of the horror film there is also Dario Argento’s World of Horror documentary which is a pretty awesome thing to have in this 2-disc pack. The movie looks beautiful and it was really cool to finally see this hybrid cut as I give the movie 3 stars and the package 4 out of 4 stars as this should end collectors looking for any other copy of “Phenomena”. To find out more about the 2-disc Blu-ray go to www.synapse-films.com .

 

Acid Bath (DVD) – A 2006 insane independent film that sports a character named Zeke who has a fetish for killing hookers. The film follows his insanity in this exploitation-type flick that also has a man shooting gang members with a rocket launcher! Not much on plot but has grittiness and insanity in spades as you feel like you found a lost Polonia Brothers’ film from the late 80s as I give it 2 stars.

 

Redemption (DVD) – Jason Statham is a war vet back from the recent war living as a bum and wants left alone. One night two nasty dudes beat the crap out of him and take his roommate he was looking out for. He stumbles into a loft being chased by the two men and realizes no one is home. Takes a hard long look at himself, quits drinking, cleans up, and goes looking for the girl. But also uses the loft as home as the tenant isn’t coming back for months. He gets a job as muscle for the Chinese boss man to take people’s money. He uses his share to buy pizzas for the poor and try to give back to the nun that would help him and others who are on the street on a nightly basis. Or as I like to call it a very sad and depressing entry into “The Transporter” series as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Outside the Law (DVD) – Cynthia Rothrock was working for the CIA in Columbia until her team and boyfriend were set up. Now she is back in the states and just wants to forget everything. Meanwhile the legendary Stephen Macht is trying to track her down in Florida and find out what she knows? Also the dad from “Wonder Years” shows up and cool action dude James Lew to face off with Cynthia in the climatic fight. But mostly its Cynthia hanging out in Central Florida helping out a young couple avenge the dude’s sister who was killed by a B-movie dickweed! Give the action flick 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html

 

We talk a lot about Statham and Bronson this week

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This week in our never ending quest to achieve those elusive podcast ratings we instantly alienate our audience by launching into a 10 minute football analysis.  Then we discuss what we have been watching. Including a fantastic Charles Bronson flick from the early 70’s in THE MECHANIC.  Then Tim takes his mom out to the theater to see Jason Statham in the sequel to said Bronson flick in THE MECHANIC: RESURRECTION.  And lastly Kyle venture out into society to see the fantastic quasi exploitation throwback flick DON’T BREATHE.  And if that’s not enough Tim encounters more Pittsburgh C.H.U.D’S.

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

episode-208

Gross Movie Reviews #387

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Gross Movie Reviews #387

 

Parker (DVD) – In this 2013 Jason Statham film, Statham plays a man named Parker who just happens to be a thief. In gets in with a group of guys to rob the Ohio State Fair but the four other guys want a bigger heist (diamonds and jewels) after it is over. Parker wants out so they kill him or so they thought as they leave him on the side of the road. A nice old couple finds Parker left for dead and take him to the hospital. From there Parker finds out as much info about the next heist as he can so he can plot his revenge and get his cut of the state fair heist. Remember its principal folks… But Nick Nolte gets involved, and then Jennifer Lopez as a failing real estate agent gets involved and the mob is involved. A really fun heist movie that has a lot of Statham kicks to the face action. The film is a bit like the Mel Gibson flick ‘Payback’? But anyhow Statham fans make sure you check this film out if you haven’t already as I give it 3 stars.

 

Cavegirl (DVD) – I remember this sex comedy (if that is what you want to call it?) from the “USA Up All Night” days with Rhonda Shear. Daniel Roebuck is a nerd named Rex who goes on a class field trip to an old mine. Rex finds himself in prehistoric world of sorts when he finds a weird stone in the cave and touches it. After Rex realizes he just went through a time warp and is chased by a giant bear a Cavegirl finds him so he tries to communicate and live among her tribe. Mid-80s film trying to cash in on the end of the sex comedy craze that is on the lower tier but still a fun trip down memory lane of knowing this type film exists. Thank you Rhonda Shear as I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Fist of Fury (DVD) – Bruce Lee comes back to his master’s home only to find him being buried and his former school being pushed around. So Bruce Lee does what he does best and beats the holy shit out of everyone from the other school. I give it 2 stars.

 

Dragon Blade (DVD) – This Jackie Chan film caught me off guard as it stars John Cusack and Adrien Brody and based on true events of a Chinese man who got in the middle of warring Romans. Chan’s character is a man of honor and peace with the help of his fellow soldiers they try to keep peace in the land and keep everybody friendly. Then Brody’s Roman character comes along and wants everyone dead! This wasn’t the usual ‘Rumble in the Bronx’ and ‘Police Story’ stuff I am usually seeing Jackie Chan in. Plus, John Cusack as a Roman general, weird but interesting stuff I say as I give it 2 stars.

 

Rotgut (DVD) – A couple of hobos in a back alley find a bottle of tequila in the dumpster to keep them drunk today… Problem is the stuff as just been recalled for unknown reasons. After drinking it and trying to eat 2 for 99 cent hot dogs both begin to get sick especially after the one drank the worm. Meanwhile, one of our main characters Leon comes in to his shitty bartending job at the local bar that is on the verge of closing and must buy some booze as their supply is low. So the vendor he deals with lets Leon have some of the recalled booze so it can be the “special of the day” at the bar. A few regulars show up to their daily dose along with a random combat veteran back from the war not know their day will come to an end when the crazy ranting hobos show up. The infected booze begins changing all who drink it and eventually making your guts explode or sloppy ass worms burst out of your skull. If that wasn’t enough the ATF is trying to track down all the recalled tequila. The film has its moments of gooey goriness but never commits to being as fun and crazy as a ‘Slime City’ as I give 2 out of 4 stars to the recalled booze flick. More info or to purchase the DVD go to: www.campmotionpictures.com or www.alternativecinema.com .

the-ghosts

The Ghosts of Johnson Woods (DVD) – A project from Glenn Berggoetz I have been following ever since Glenn announced Joe Bob Briggs was casted for it. Of course the talented Mr. Berggoetz writes, directs, and produces this project and goes off the beaten path of his usual projects that are injected with comedy, horror, and sometimes the absurd. Glen goes the direction of dramatic thriller of a boy meets girl, girl convinces boy to make a movie just involving themselves to get famous. Lenny and Heather rip ‘Blair Witch Project’ and discuss what and how they can do it on Lenny’s iPhone. Cheap, easy, make quick cash… A friendship is born in a weird way between Lenny and Heather as both want a movie but for different reasons. After settling on the “Johnson Woods” legend as their backdrop, Lenny and Heather pick a good spot in the woods and begin filming. As a viewer you get to see the relationship grow between the two even though we are never introduced to Heather’s parent or parents and the only other main character is Lenny’s dad (Joe Bob Briggs) and a hooker. As the relationship and film blossoms a creep factor sets in, especially in the last ten minutes of the film. No nudity, not much blood, interesting oddity of boy meets girl storyline, but the creepiness of the ending makes this strange tale an amazing independent thriller that will make movie fans cringe with fear! Glenn you made a cringe worthy film as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info on the film or Glenn check out: www.facebook.com/glenn.berggoetz and www.facebook.com/ghostsofjohnsonwoods .

 

A Werewolf in the Amazon Collection (DVD) – This collection is a three-disc set from Camp Motion Pictures that has four movies from Brazilian director Ivan Cardoso and a disc filled with short films worthy of hardcore cinema fans pursuing through. The collection not only brings some of the filmmaker’s films to America on DVD but gives you access to stuff some fans have not seen yet? The first film in the collection is 1982’s ‘The Secret of the Mummy’. The best way I can describe is if an old school mummy film was a sex comedy dream… The second film in the collection is 1986’s ‘The Seven Vampires’ where a bizarre man-eating plant from Africa supposedly kills a scientist and turns his wife into a vampire? Maybe… While trying to move on from the death of her husband she has bloodless bodies stacking up around her. Third flick is 1990’s ‘The Scarlet Scorpion’ which is about a popular radio soap opera that everyone listens to on a nightly basis. The show becomes even more popular when someone begins to copy the murders from the show. And then the final flick starring Paul Naschy is 2005’s ‘A Werewolf in the Amazon’. Naschy is Dr. Moreau who has moved his experiments and work to the deep jungles of the Amazon. But is found by a group of friends who are there to see the sights and trip their asses off. Moreau is feverishly looking for his own cure but may have found it in one of the women of the group. If you are a hardcore cinema nerd or a cult film collector this collection is right up on your alley as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars as it can be found at www.campmotionpictures.com or www.alternativecinema.com .

 

Pray For Death (DVD) – Sho Kosugi moves his family to America on the persistence of his wife to start his own business. But things go south when some jewels go missing that was hidden under the floor of the business. Some crooked cops and the mob is involved and tries to hurt or kill Kosugi’s family believing they may have found the jewels and keeping them? Kosugi won’t stand for this so brings out his old ninja uniform and starts throwing Chinese stars and back flipping everywhere. And if there is one thing that sums up this crazy mid-80s ninja flick it is: Ninja vs. chainsaw! Done!!! I am in every time folks. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Pillow Talk (YouTube) – A new filmmaker (Mitch Dolan of Bummer City Youth Productions) or someone just trying to experiment film wise has made a shot film which involves time travel, Donald Trump’s diary, a lot of talk about cock sucking, and yes, aliens! Weird… art… complete crap? Not totally sure but it did make me laugh a few times as I give it 2 out of 4 stars. Go check it out at: www.instagram.com/mitch.dolan or www.vimeo.com/182429792 .

 the-barn

The Barn (Drive-in Theater) – Sam and Josh are just two normal high school seniors enjoying their last Devil’s Night and Halloween. Sam gets in trouble with his dad after Josh and he scare the shit out of Linnea Quigley’s character. Now Sam has to collect food for their church on Halloween and then face being grounded. But it’s Halloween and Sam refuses it to be shitty. So after seeing on TV about a band playing at a nearby town Sam and Josh come up with an idea to find a ride with friends to the concert and collect stuff in the small nearby town. When they arrive at the creepy small throwback community they find a barn. Is it ‘The Barn’ from a story that originated 30 years ago they have heard as kids that was haunted? They test the theory and just happen to awake three bad ass demons that want nothing more than blood and murder on Halloween night! Once ‘The Barn’ doors open and the demons arise, no one is safe as the creatures just begin to slash through the locals. We even get a “Yinzer” Crazy Ralph character that helps give the backstory of the demons. Now it’s up to Sam and Josh to find a way to send the demons back to hell! ‘The Barn’ is a perfect mix of 80s horror classics with a new and exciting touch to it. We get scary (amazing looking) demons, gore, Linnea Quigley and Ari Lehman, and the right amount of 80s corny horror cheese that made those horror movies so much fun! This film is a perfect Halloween-time movie that belongs on all horror fans’ watch list every Halloween… Literally watching the film I was saying to myself: I will watch this film every Halloween! It reminded me of such films: Neon Maniacs, Killer Party, Night of the Demons, Trick or Treat, horror classics that never get old. Kids, I give ‘The Barn’ 4 out of 4 stars and hands down one of the best horror films I have seen since I was a kid renting horror movies for Halloween. Check out www.nevermoreproductionfilms.com for more info.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.