Gross Movie Reviews #538


Gross Movie Reviews #538

Henchman: The Al Leong Story (DVD) – A wonderful look inside of one of the coolest villains on screen for decades. Even if you didn’t know his name you knew the face and as soon as he appeared you the movie viewer most likely got a little excited. The documentary dives deep into Mr. Leong’s life as he was an established karate champion who loved motorcycles that just happen to do stunt work and loved it. His work got him to work with just about every memorable celebrity in Hollywood. But after his stroke in 2005, Mr. Leong has made a long recovery and only recently started doing interviews and conventions. Love documentaries and got time to kill enjoy this treat and hear all the good stuff said about a man whose face is more recognizable than some of the Hollywood stars of now as I give it 3 stars.

Army of the Dead (On Demand) – The super-hyped Zack Snyder zombie project begins with the military transporting a secret payload aka an unstoppable zombie. An accident happens on the highway outside of Vegas and of course it’s time for a feast for fast changing zombies. After the big fallout some time passes and the city is walled off from the rest of civilization as the government is about to nuke the city to contain the mess. But Dave Batista and is his team of mercs, safe experts, and pilots are given an opportunity to go in to the dangerous zombie filled city and collect 200 million dollars. They have 32 hours until the nukes come raining down! A fun, gory, we get a zombie tiger, popcorn zombie flick that runs way too long but doesn’t take itself too seriously which in the end is a good thing as I give the film 3 stars.

Ouija Mummy (DVD) – From the same people that gave us the disappointing ‘Lycanimator’ came back a year later and gave us a no-budget treat that needs to seeked out by independent film lovers. Anyway a woman brings home some ancient jewelry from a recent Egyptian dig then commits suicide. Not too long after a young couple buys the house and moves in and have a house warming party. Of course Natalie’s guy wants to make her happy and after finding the artifact in the home gives it to Natalie as a house warming gift. Between this and Natalie’s obsession with wanting to play with an Ouija board during the party cause a royal demon to possess Natalie’s body and terror ensues! You will notice a lot of cool Indy names are attached to this project, some cheap but effective effects go a long way, and filmmaker and cast learning from mistakes (Lycanimator) make this a diamond in the rough independent film that not many are talking much about. I give this excellent Indy flick 3 ½ stars as I believe once the story gets going it has this cheap ‘Night of the Demons’ vibe, so enjoy!

Teenage Zombie House Massacre (DVD) – As I refuse to stop looking for ‘massacre’ flicks I find this (2000) grainy 36 minute S.O.V. film from Speed Freak Productions. A group of teenagers plan to have a party at a supposedly haunted house at the end of the tracks. Once there of course it is “sex time”, never mind if the bedroom smells like it is time for them to bang like bunnies! It is all about innocent love in a smelly abandoned home until hidden zombies show up and begin chomping on the young party goers. The film quickly boils down to the teens must pay for disturbing the dead as I give the film 1 ½ stars.

The Last Chase (DVD) – I would have never guessed there is a post-apocalyptic film starring Lee Majors in 1981 but hey we got one and it co-stars the kid who played Rudy in ‘Meatballs’. Lee Majors is Frank Hart a race car driver who like most people has lost his family to a strange virus that shut down the world. As time went on oil was shut off from the public and things went downhill from there. Twenty years has passed and humans have conformed to a more “government is watching” society where rules have changed and no one owns a car. You must use mass transit, walk, or a bike. Frank a loner is still trying to fit in this new life but cannot and digs up his old race car in the garage after being told he needs to watch what he says in a public setting for the ‘utility commission’. Meanwhile a teenager who keeps tapping into the government’s computers believe there is more out there than what the government are allowing you to do? So the misfit hitches a ride with Frank to escape to California so they can live free. The government refuses to allow someone to escape to the Free State so they call up an old jet fighting pilot into duty since pilots no longer exist and have him go after the two. An oddity for Lee Majors I thought but thank the lord Rutger Hauer for someone pointing out this wonderful gem I never heard of as I give it 3 stars.

Teen Massacre (DVD) – In 2004 before ‘Jack Brooks the Monster Slayer’ this young filmmaker put together a short film set in 1986 where a group of students are out in the woods getting soil samples for a class project. Bored, the students stumble upon a half human thing in a locked cage. Curiosity getting the best of the students, they release it and the thing obliterates his victims or said students. This is a glorious fun mess of a short film needing to be revisited again and again as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Supervan (DVD) – This 1977 vanspolitation film has a young man (Morgan) quit his job so he can drive his van to a competition on Halloween weekend to win $5000! But along the way Morgan’s van gets crushed in a junkyard while saving a cute lady from some bikers. So of course he goes visit his engineering buddy who just so happens to be working on this super-secret project aka solar powered van man named Vandora. A project a major car maker doesn’t want the public to know about because he wants all of yinz to keep buying gas guzzlers. So the couple head off to this van festival for all sorts of sex, drugs, and van competition for the coolest van ever! As long as the couple can stay away from the hijinks of Tex they should have no problem winning at the van event as I give the film 2 stars. It felt like ‘Convoy’ but with vans and on Halloween for some odd reason.

The Kansas City Massacre (DVD) – I believe this was a TV movie from 1975 set in the early 30s where two gangsters break out their fellow criminal from prison. Not long from the prison break they go rob a bank and run into another gang they thought was the police at first. They join forces and begin robbing ten different banks in three different states. This catches the eyes of the F.B.I. as they put together a special task force to bring these criminals to justice. Pretty Boy Floyd has second thoughts after one of their partners is captured and sets up a peaceful exchange but a huge shootout happens (Kansas City Massacre) and Floyd comes into info that he was set up by the police commissioner. Floyd wants revenge and even explains to the F.B.I. once he has revenge the criminal activity will end. I give it 2 stars… I knew I was going to watch it as it has ‘massacre’ in the title.

Presidents’ Day Massacre (DVD) – A subpar 2015 no budget horror film where an inmate escapes from prison heading to a place called Little Jamestown. Apparently there was a murder a year ago in the little town and now the masked killer is there to restart his killing spree. The spree begins at a lame house party full of seniors with the reveal of the killer that will most likely put you to sleep as I give it a ½ star.

Gutter Punk Massacre (DVD) – A bad 2014 flick out of New Mexico where it looks like a crazed man in flannel is bursting into houses and killing people. But you quickly find out a middle-aged dude armed with a medical facemask and a blow dart controls this individual to kill randomly. The whole reason for the chaos is because the good doctor is sucking punk ding dong for $20 a pop in the office! The film is a chaotic hot mess that doesn’t make too much sense but has a severed punk wiener picked up by a detective and a hilarious death to the skull by a Pabst beer. The weird part is I could see a cult following for this film if those involved really tried pushing it out there on social media but anyway I give it a ½ star.

Wrath of Man (On Demand) – Jason Statham’s latest where he plays a man who lost his son during a robbery of a cash truck where one of the burglars kill his son in the street. After a short recovery in the hospital he gets a job with the cash truck company simply known as “H”. This helps him get a foot in the door and track down how and why his son died but the kicker is everyone is a criminal and no good guys as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

The Spade County Massacre (DVD) – A small town that was scared to death by a cult several years was put to rest by the town sheriff. The sheriff wrongly accused a local man named Doug and everything seems to go away for about five years. Now there is talk of the cult being back and the sheriff is looking at Doug for anything that may go down in the small town. But with a new deputy on the force who is looking into the old files of this cult not everything looks like they seem with the old sheriff and Doug. The cult believes in resurrection of the dead and in Spade County the dead doesn’t always stay dead. A pretty boring horror flick trying to combine demons, the undead, crooked cop, bad effects, and a serial killer as I give it a ½ star.

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Gross Movie Reviews #464


Gross Movie Reviews #464


Slaughterhouse Rulz (On Demand) – Nick Frost and Simon Pegg produced a very British version of “The Boogens”. The biggest difference we get to see a lot more of the creatures and it’s under a very prestigious private school. Frost and Pegg are just mere set pieces for this feature as apparently there is fracking happening near the school. This fracking just happens to open the underground dwelling of these demon-like creatures to come up top side and begin feasting. Only a small group of kids stay behind for the weekend and they must fight for their lives in order to survive the onslaught of creatures. The school has a whole history of assholes and stories of demons that live beneath the school. I enjoyed the whole pecking order of students and the flesh-eating creatures but also see why this film kind of disappeared after it was heavily advertised around Halloween. I give the flick 2 ½ stars.


Jersey Shore Massacre (DVD) – A group of young ladies head to the Jersey beach for fun in the sun one weekend. Once there they find out the hard way Ron Jeremy rented the house to another group of young ladies thinking they were all the same. So Teresa tells the girls they can go party at her Uncle Vito’s house that is about 15 miles away in the Jersey woods. Once there the girls head to a Jersey Devil tour and head to the club for fun. Once they get through all the ‘Jersey Shore’ filler and head back to Uncle Vito’s house the girls and guys begin to be hacked and slashed to death! Lots of gore, a couple innovative kills, and the reveal of Uncle Vito make this ‘massacre’ film watchable as I give it 2 stars.


Satanic Meat Cleaver Massacre (DVD) – A gentleman keeps having nightmares of his recently deceased Nana. Also Nana happens to be a bootleg look-a-like of the “Curtains” killer who is killing people in the name of Satan. Geno doesn’t understand this family secret runs deep and the small community is in on it also as he investigates. The film has a lot of dull moments but bootleg “Curtains” killer keeps me interested enough to see the end as I give it 1 star.


Hot Tub Party Massacre (DVD) – Chubby tattooed sorority girls from Delta Omega and an escaped serial killer Fred Banning you got my attention. Fred has just escaped authorities and has a history of slaughtering young coeds. After slaughtering his way through the local college and takes a liking to the ‘final girl’ he makes his way to their party hotel to slash through the sorority with his trusty garden tool. The film follows the formula of making it feel like a lost independent B-slasher from 1990 with just the right amount of nudity, Brinke Stevens voice cameo, and characters you cannot wait to see slaughtered. But the lack of use of the hot tub was kind of a bummer as I was hoping many would die in it but zero did. I thank yinz for the pretty chubby tattoo women and naming Henrique Couto as the school president but this ‘massacre’ flick should be left for the hardcore ‘massacre’ fans as I give it 1 ½ stars.


Strait-Jacket (DVD) – A delightful William Castle film about Joan Crawford being sent to the asylum after killing her younger husband. After seeing him with a young lady in bed she goes in a rage and cuts off their heads. Her daughter witnessed it all but is excited 20 years later her mom is returning home after a new treatment is used and cured her. She is allowed to return to society. Once Lucy returns people begin disappearing and of course all the fingers point to her because of her past. Again a delightful thriller that was well casted that included first timer Lee Majors as I give the flick 3 stars.

The Unseen (DVD) – Filmmaker Geoff Redknap brings a fresh take to cool source material “The Invisible Man”. A man named Bob ran away from his family and good life eight years ago. He now resides in a small northern town working at the lumber mill just trying to keep to himself. His ex-wife calls him looking for help with their daughter Eva. Eva has changed a lot the past several months and went from going to college to wanting to possibly dropping out and traveling the world with her best friend. Bob against his own will decides to drive back to see his daughter and try and help. But Bob and Eva both have a secret. Now with Eva’s disappearance with friends at an asylum Bob is racing against time to find her as he gets sicker. Without trying to give too much away the film is gritty and a wonderful thriller that tells a compelling story of family using the “The Invisible Man” material as a backdrop. A slow burn with a great payoff will make this film a wonderful find for movie fans in 2019 as I give the film 3 ½ out of 4 stars.


Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

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Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to for details.

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