Gross Movie Reviews #539

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Gross Movie Reviews #539

Boys from County Hell (Shudder) – An Irish horror film where a small town called Six Mile Hill is the center of the story as legend goes Bram Stoker used the location to write his famous story. The local legend claims that the real Dracula story happened there as a landmark of stones marks the grave of the vampire or at least that is what’s been told for many years in those parts. One drunken night two friends strolling home from the pub fall into the landmark and one of them is speared by a farm animal. Nothing physical came from the grave but blood seem to disappear from the corpse. Eugene quickly understands he may accidentally set free the vampire legend on the small town and must now try to bury the bloodthirsty monster that doesn’t play by the usual vampire rules. Fun monstrous times to be had in this Irish treat as I give it 3 stars.

The Frozen Ghost (DVD) – A stage mentalist played by Lon Chaney Jr., has a skirmish with an audience member that he believes caused the man’s death. Retiring the act, trouble seems to follow the mentalist as while at the museum he gets in a tussle with someone who dies and believes he did it again. For me this wasn’t the best Lon Chaney Jr. of course for fans who just need something a little lighthearted you will enjoy this feature as I give it 2 stars.

Great White (On Demand) – Pearl Air Charters  is a one charter plane business run by a sexy couple who takes people on tours of areas like “Hell’s Reef”. When on their latest tour they land so a couple can have a late lunch it is quickly spoiled by finding half of a corpse of the beach. The small group realizes someone could still use help out in the ocean they jump back in the small plane for a limited time because of fuel to search. They spot the boat and when they land on the ocean near that is when things go bad for the group and the suspense builds as they wait for rescue. With only the life raft the group must hope they can paddle back to the island before the sharks stalk and eat them for a snack! A lot of buildup in this film, think ‘The Shallows’ but with a few more people and trying to feel a little more like ‘Jaws’ as I give it 3 stars.

Bigfoot vs. Illuminati (On Demand) – An animated film I had so much anticipation for being a fun stupid film to enjoy and talk about. Instead I got a horrible boring dud. Many years into the future where the Earth is basically dead and humans are about to go extinct as they are at war with aliens. Humans only hope is Bigfoot who happened to listen to rap music way too much. Oh and Bigfoot tag teams with a Van Helsing clone… this was dumb as I give it 0 stars. I guess I need to stick with ‘Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper’?

Benny Loves You (On Demand) – Meet Jack, a 35 year old who lives with his parents and is a junior toy designer whose parents still celebrate Jack’s birthday as if he was a child. But this year is different as the parents die accidentally while preparing for his birthday. Nothing is going right for Jack so now alone he decides he wants to improve his life and this means getting rid of everything including his childhood toy that he still has. The toy’s name is Benny and doesn’t like it too much he is about to be thrown out but also wants Jack to be happy again? From here Jack is sent into a downward spiral of death and despair as anyone that comes to the home or Jack doesn’t like Benny slices and dices them. As the bloodbath ensues in a weird way Benny helps Jack get his job back with new designs based on Benny… The horror film is a wonderful insane oddity of gore that needs to be witnessed as this will be one of the best horror films I will watch in 2021 and for that I give it 4 stars.

Fulci for Fake (DVD) – A Severin Pictures biopic about a man about to dive head first into becoming the famous Italian filmmaker Lucio Fulci. In order to accomplish becoming the legend he must learn more about him and interviews several friends and colleagues of Fulci’s taking the viewer on a ride through stories of the beginnings of Fulci’s work. To of course what made Fulci a household name among horror movie fans as I give the documentary 3 stars.

Live Evil (DVD) – An old vampire hunting priest has his eyes locked on these four vamps that have run together for a long time now. The priest wants to slice and dice this group as he has tracked them everywhere at any cost. The group keeps moving around recently as humans more and more have tainted blood and the vampires fight amongst each other in the effort of finding “pure blood”. The vampires head to L.A. for a last ditch effort of getting pure blood from a dealer named Max. The vampire hunter is played by the legendary Tim Thomerson so imagine Jack Deth retired to become a priest who hunts vamps with a late 90s direct-to-video vibe. A fun watch with some gore and some audio glitches but well worth checking out this Mark Terry produced film that also has appearances by Tiffany Shepis, Ken Foree, and Elissa Dowling as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Feaster Sunday (DVD) – A not so typical independent holiday horror film where a man, Dr. Gideon Lear is putting forth his best effort to put on “The Passion” play at the community theater that hasn’t happened in twenty years. Lear wants perfection out of his actors as he explains in his recent interview with Eddie from the local Public Access Channel. Lear nor his actors seem to be too concerned with the history of the play as “the show must go on”. Meanwhile Eddie sees someone he knows among the actors, Tess, and they reconnect after Tess is dropped by her boyfriend Reen because he needs his full attention on playing Jesus. As time goes on actors for the play disappear, warnings for the play “not to go on” are ignored, and Dr. Lear begins his struggle to keep the production together. There is a whole lot of crazy going on in this flick that just made me giddy to watch! Wonderful casting choices (Dave Parker as the original Jesus, brilliant), great script, cool puppets, and a low budget production that felt bigger than it was should get some mainstream respect as I give this excellent production 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

Gross Movie Reviews #513

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Gross Movie Reviews #513

 

Santo vs. Frankenstein’s Daughter (DVD) – In this Santo classic Dr. Frankenstein’s daughter has continued her father’s work for decades but she is obsessed with Santo. Her obsession with the masked wrestler is she believes his blood holds the key to stay young and immortal. She is over a hundred years old and her serum is no longer effective. Her goal is to send out her minions and monster after Santo, capture him, take all his blood, and rule the world! Simple… Fun movie as they reuse the plot of “Capturing Santo’s girlfriend to lure him to doom” as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Santo vs. Blue Demon in Atlantis (DVD) – So there is this old Nazi scientist after WWII escapes and sets up his secret lair in the supposed Atlantis where he threatens the world. Part of old dude’s plan is to take control of Blue Demon’s mind so he can defeat Santo and the Global Agency. But as usual Santo has other plans to spoil the evil old Nazi’s plan to rule the world. Most of the movie is Santo and Blue Demon playing cat and mouse but come on that is Santo’s tag team partner he isn’t going to kill him. This might be one of the cheesier plots of the Santo films but that doesn’t mean it isn’t entertaining as hell as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Graverobbers (DVD) – Another late 80s odd ball horror flick that has slipped through my fingers but have finally got to sit down and watch. Now first off this isn’t the Mexican horror film of the same title that came out in 1989. Second, this one was released in 1988 and quickly disappeared into obscurity but also was released in several countries under the title ‘Dead Mate’ which makes it very possible some of you may have watched it and forgot about it? Anyhow a handsome dude named Henry floats into a diner one night and sweeps a waitress Nora off her feet during the graveyard shift. She agrees to marry him on a whim not thinking any of this is real which made me question the whole film as it seems to be filmed in Nora’s dream state kinda of thing. They travel to Henry’s mansion up north in this small town where all the important people are there and they wed that night. When Nora wakes so sees it wasn’t a dream and Henry explains to her he is this rich mortician in the small town of Newbury… get it!? With no job except bumping uglies with the handsome mortician it doesn’t take long for Nora to sneak around the mansion and spy on Henry’s work. Of course we get a lot of talk about having sex with corpses after this and the possibility the whole town might be in on it. Nora keeps investigating not believing at first but soon uncovers her new husband isn’t just cheating on her with hot looking dead women he might be eating them and burying them in the local cemetery. This film doesn’t have gore, has a weird sex thing going on, and seems to look like Nora’s dream from the beginning but never fully explaining if it is or isn’t. It is weird enough I believe horror fans may want to track this down and add it to their collection for the mere reason it was entertaining in its own way as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Alien Outlaw (DVD) – This low budget mid-80s film has a gunfighter named Jesse who happens to be the most talented gunfighter on the planet who does fairs and festivals. What she doesn’t know as she is dealing with her bad management problem she is about to take on quick draw alien outlaws who have crash landed on the planet. These aliens that kind of look like bad storm troopers that shopped at the used navy seal costume store are laying waste to the local folks of this southern farm community. Now it is up to Jesse to jump on a horse and go take on these aliens and show them she is the fastest gun in the universe. There really isn’t a point to the plot but wouldn’t be surprised if MST3K or Riff Trax has found this film in the past as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Occurrence at Mills Creek (DVD) – Filmmaker Don Swanson has turned his short film project into a feature length film over the past year where a young woman Clara has recently lost her family and she might be slowly going insane. With her so-called father back in her life because the recent funerals he too is dying. Clara not totally understanding what exactly is happening begins to have visits from her dead mother and sister on a regular basis. Is there something more sinister going on with Clara or is she about to pass the edge of sanity and her brain just disconnect from reality? I would like to believe the film is a slow burn or a deep dive into one young woman’s life and family. And believe Clara’s life hasn’t gone anywhere near the way she was hoping for. The film isn’t exactly horror as much as playing that line of paranormal drama that I feel can be taken several ways by different viewers which for the long term is a good thing and something film nerds should enjoy. Ava Psoras was perfect for the Clara role; the Cinematography was wonderfully done by Don Swanson, and a perk for this independent project is I believe this film can be viewed very differently by several people. They have accomplished not making your usual cookie cutout independent project but something that will stand out from most and for that I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Final Caller (DVD) – Todd Sheets fresh off the killer ‘Bonehill Road’ and the over the top ‘Clownado’ is back with an ultra-low budget film that involves a shock jock and his show “On Through the Night” where he tells strange stories and takes calls. For Roland the shock jock tonight seems like any other night of doing his show where he is yelling into the mic putting down his fans and spewing conspiracies. But his soon to be ex-wife shows up with the divorce papers and a caller called “The Outsider” who is going to fulfill some kind of ancient ritual by brutally murdering young women. The caller claims it is up to Roland to stop him from being a serial killer but of course Roland takes this as some kind rubbish and hangs up. This begins a hellish downward spiral for the show and all involved as “The Outsider” keeps calling back to yell back at Roland and explain how he devours his victims as he kills them and will visit Roland to complete the ritual. Roland now finds himself in world of crazy shit as he is trying to escape his own radio show and not become part of the bloody body count of “The Outsider”. This is a straight forward gore and even more extreme gore Todd Sheets project that will have his fans screaming for a sequel as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Bequeathed (Vimeo) – This is a recent entry into the “48 hour film project” from Michigan filmmaker Michael McCallum whose entry is about a man named Michael North. North’s father has just died his father’s insurance broker has brought along a package for Michael. Mr. North explains he didn’t need to be a part of the funeral services or have anything to do with his father but the broker insisted in giving him this package. Michael opens it reluctantly and it’s a book. Seems simple and nice but opening it for a read might just kill Michael North. This film looks wonderfully shot and feels like an old school investment video of what a feature can be? I always find Mr. McCallum’s work to look professional and entertaining with heart behind all of his projects and this is no different as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars. If yinz have a chance track down this Michigan filmmaker on Facebook and other social network platforms to follow his work as you not be disappointed. Available soon at http://www.REBELPICTURES.NET

 

The Plumber (DVD) – This dramatic slow burn Australian flick from 1979 has a guy claiming to be a plumber from the university checking out unit 15C where a professor and his wife live. Max the plumber is there to inspect and fix it as he will be doing with the all the units… supposedly. Jill the wife stuck in the unit with Max day after day feels uncomfortable around him but others feel Max is fine. But day after day Max just drops by and Jill believes Max is just messing with her or stalking her for fun. Not a whole lot happens and when the climax hits it was disappointing as I only give this feature 1 star.

 

Vampires and Other Stereotypes (DVD) – I wasn’t expecting a whole lot with this early 90s film but kudos to Kevin J. Lindenmuth for some awesome effort into his first flick out of the gate. We are introduced to two guys who are not cops but two dudes that are on the city streets fighting the supernatural. While investigating a lead with a businessman at a warehouse they get trapped when a young woman who was looking for a party with her friends gets cut and bleeds. Thus her blood opens the gates of hell which happens to be this warehouse (smart low budget move Kevin) that traps them all there. Now the two supernatural hunters and party goers must survive until daybreak as demons have them trapped and will stop at nothing to chomp down on their bodies and swallow their souls. These supernatural hunters go on to fight a giant rodent, zombie heads, demons, and other creatures as they try to navigate the labyrinth of doorways trying to save the young women. There is a little uneventful twist at the end but it doesn’t take away from Lindenmuth’s excellent low budget creature filled horror effort that needs to seeked out by the independent horror nerds as I give it 3 stars.    

 

Dracula’s Widow (DVD) – This title and plot of the film screamed late 80s as Raymond Everett runs the “Hollywood House of Wax” museum that has gotten six crates delivered to him. They are going to be a part of his new Dracula attraction. Raymond believes in authentic items being placed with his wax creations. And these crates are full of various items that were shipped supposedly from Dracula’s castle in Romania. Problem he has received one extra crate but no bother as Raymond is just excited for this collection. This extra crate contains one “Mrs. Dracula or Vanessa” unaware she is a widow is hungry and sets off into the night to feed. She returns to the museum to turn Raymond into her slave so he can work and protect her during the daytime. Raymond drives around town at night so Vanessa can slaughter groups of men at will! Raymond’s psychic girlfriend doesn’t take kindly to Mrs. Dracula and teams up with this old grizzled detective who believes in vampires to stop her and save Raymond. There is a few laughs and enough gore gags that might keep you watching through the end as I give it 2 stars.

Uncle Peckerhead (DVD) – Yep, you read that title right and will make perfect sense within minutes as you view the film. Now the film does open up with the redundant “based on a true story” but quickly goes into the story of three misfits who are formed a punk band named “DUH”. Judy and band mates are about to embark on their first tour but their problem is their tour van just got repossessed. So after some searching they come across an old dude named “Peckerhead” with a van that just really wants to go along for the ride and because he explains all bands have a roadie. Judy reluctantly agrees because they need the van and they pack up and hit the road. Judy suspects something is weird and wrong with Peckerhead but cannot figure it out. But that becomes super clear after DUH’s first gig doesn’t go well and they are paid three dollars. Uncle Peckerhead goes in to take a grumpy and that is when Judy finds Peckerhead looking like a crazed flesh eating monster eating the asshole promoter. Confronted by the band they agree to get food and Peckerhead explains at midnight for 13 minutes he turns into a monster and he was just protecting his new friends. Again Judy reluctantly agrees and they continue to travel from city to city and Peckerhead just leaves a trail of bodies along the way because his monster inside him needs to feed. Everything goes well until Peckerhead saves them one night when they are being tied up by a band they are feuding with now Judy must make a decision to take the fall for the bodies the authorities are finding or be eaten by Uncle Peckerhead. This isn’t the perfect horror film but I laughed several times and enjoyed the gore as I give it 3 stars.

 

Creature with the Atom Brain (DVD) – This 1955 film has a Nazi scientist and a gangster who got deported come to America to try their experiment and exact revenge. They use freshly dead people to try their experiment on where they can control these dead folk or zombies (I don’t believe they use the phrase the whole film, I could be wrong) to kill off those they want dead. Biggest problem with the experiment is the dead bodies only last so long and supposedly bleed or secrete radiation. The cops get a scientist involved who figures out they can track the killers with Geiger counters to stop it at its source before more people die. The film has its moments but has a few dull spots in places but if you enjoy 50s sci-fi it is worth the watch or rewatch in some cases as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #443

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Gross Movie Reviews #443

 

The Tripods (VHS) – This made-for-TV flick was a BBC production made in the year 1984 and some would say even has some kind the film has some kind of cult status? But anyway this 2 ½ hour film is set in July 2089 outside of London where mankind has been long invaded by alien machines. People have accepted this and live in peace and actually worship the machines and have somewhat gone back to the old days of living before technology. But there are a few people or vagrants that have refused the “capped” process and live scattered among the mountains to evade capture by the alien machines. Since the machines have arrived, war has been non-existent, and the people willingly give their children at the age of 16 to the machines to be “capped”. The machines take them in and basically tattoo their skulls or doing god only knows to their brains. So two teenagers meet this vagrant and decide they don’t want to be “capped” or questioning authority and runaway to the mountains to escape believing there is more to life than these alien machines. The project is very British so for me a little bit was lost in translation but is an interesting project and worth the watch if you love sci-fi flicks as I give it 2 stars. Random fact the TV movie premiered here in the U.S. in the mid-80s on PBS.

Nightfall (VHS) – A 1999 independent vampire flick that had distribution through Troma that was set in Seattle, Washington. A F.B.I. agent named Jack Talbot is investigating a string of murders that have the victims bloodless and marks on their necks and believing there is a serial killer in the city. But Talbot’s partner is killed during the investigation and he begins to believe this vampire theory to the point he chases the vampire to a different city. Talbot teams up with a couple of local detectives who are already on the case of similar victims to try to kill this vampire. I can understand why Troma picked up this flick: nice amount of blood, the acting isn’t terrible, and the story is pretty solid. I give it 2 stars.

Jack Be Nimble (VHS) – This is a story of two kids, Jack and Dora who live in New Zealand and were given up for adoption but separated for the adoption. Jack went to a weird, backwoods; abusive family and Dora went to a nice couple and grew up without issues until high school. Now teenagers they both are having issues and try to explore this possible psychic link in finding each other? Dora gets picked on because of this obsession so she kicks some major ass at school and begins her search for Jack. Where Jack gets down right crazy and dark and hypnotizes his family to kill his parents to escape into the countryside looking for Dora. A really weird and violent flick from the country down under but it makes for an enjoyable watch. Plus you get to see Alexis Arquette in an early role as I give it 2 stars.

 

Big Legend (On Demand) – Tyler and his soon to be wife head out to the remote woods to spend time together and so Tyler can propose to his girl. But it is interrupted by a very large hairy creature that drags her away and leaves him a mess as she disappeared. Twelve months go by and we see Tyler leaving an asylum where he was placed as many thought he was crazy and try to get him to understand it was most likely a grizzly bear attack. Once out and some advice from his mother he heads to the woods armed to the teeth wanting answers. While there he is attacked by this large thing again but it goes away and Tyler meets a new friend who tells him a story or two and talks about a private company owns the woods. This private company knows about the thing in the woods and he has also been looking for it but only has heard sounds and stories until today. Eventually Tyler has a bloody battle with thing/bigfoot/creature and survives. The film ends with having a conversation with Lance Henriksen setting up an “Avengers vs. Bigfoot” sequel or at least I hope that is what it’s for?  Also look for cameos by Amanda Wyss playing Tyler’s therapist and Adrienne Barbeau playing Tyler’s mother as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Domestics (On Demand) – The film is set in a post-apocalyptic world where the government may have hit the reset button by dropping black poison on all its citizens one random day. Those who were immune or survived are faced with fighting for their lives day in and out if you are anywhere near the major highways or roads. These are the areas where different gangs of “Sheets, Gamblers, cannibals, etc.” settle at looking for fresh humans for whatever means they need. We are introduced to a lovely couple who were in the process of a divorce right before all this shit went down and just trying to survive like everyone else. The wife has lost contact with her family and wants to travel to Milwaukee to see them. So the husband packs up the AMC Eagle and get on the road out in the Midwest to drive to their destination and satisfy the wife. I really enjoyed this possible reality or outcome of America because I could easily see this happening and that is some cool shit! For that I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Beyond the 7th Door (DVD) – A Canadian film from 1987 that centers on a man named Boris who just got out of jail and is meeting his ex for a drink. After some bickering about who should have done what before he went to jail suddenly come up with an idea that involves Wendy’s boss and his house. Wendy’s boss is Lord Breston who pays well but supposedly keeps a bunch of cash on hand. So the two come up with a plan of Wendy sneaking Boris in once her shift starts and getting out Boris out when she is done. Once in both are trapped inside by a heavy steel door and they must go forward. A recording of Lord Breston comes over a speaker explaining in order to get out they must move forward for the money or die trying. So it becomes a series of rooms that Boris and Wendy must solve until they get to the end where a million dollars sits. The film is overall really weird and how Wendy and Boris ever got together is a story I would like explained. But the kicker of the film is the ending once they have made it through. Like or hate it you will have to admit this is one of the more interesting films that you will have in your collection as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Medusa Against The Son of Hercules (DVD) – One of the many Italian ‘Hercules’ films that came out in the late 50s and early 60s where this one has no Hercules but it has monsters! A warrior named Perseus fights a sea dragon and Medusa to try and stop a war. But Perseus is double crossed and war breaks out anyway. So by killing Medusa he is able to have warriors return from stone and help. A fun introduction for kids who want to watch some fantasy genre films or just a nice appetizer for the early 80’s cult flick “Clash of the Titans”. I give it 2 stars.

 

The Raven (YouTube) – Todd Ernest Braley shows off his filmmaking and casting talents with this short film adaption of the Edgar Allan Poe story. The black and white short film has narration throughout telling the story as two wonderful actresses act it out. Poe fans will love this short film so be sure to hit up Todd at: https://www.facebook.com/colofilmmaker as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

 

The Bucks County Massacre (DVD) – This is an independent found footage flick released through Brain Damage Films. The event in question takes place in 2008 with the film/documentary being released in 2010. Basically a group of friends head to a remote cabin for a 25th birthday party. Of course someone is filming everything going on there. While the footage unfolds there are interviews with family members of the deceased from the videos. All of them of course trying to get past the hard times but also still trying to understand how this could happen?  Especially with police trying to stop the leak of the footage out there on the internet but anyway once the party is starting to die down a girl goes missing. Her boyfriend goes looking, people get angered, poor judgment because of the drinking, and presto they are all being attacked by some human-like creature. From there it is all blood and chaos. The film is not bad at all just for me takes entirely way too much time building up the party and every character in the party even before the girl goes missing so I give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Tagus Ranch Massacre (DVD) – A group of friends heading out to a deserted restaurant on a bus breakdown but after some repairs finally get to their destination. Mostly tired and miserable the group of friends wants to just sleep after getting there but a friend falls down and may have had a seizure? Nope, just a demon spirit possessing his ass! Of course the group slowly disappears or becomes possessed by these demon spirits that haunt the former restaurant. The demons don’t just possess them they also want to kill in very gruesome ways. Think of “Night of the Demons” on a much smaller budget and I can respect that. Not a big fan of the ending but sure it felt right when the project was finished leaving it open as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

Gross Movie Reviews #441

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Gross Movie Reviews #441

 

The Jurassic Dead (DVD) – So how about a zombie T-Rex shows up 60 seconds in the flick and the chaos just goes from there. Dr. Borge wants this secret serum for his possible re-animated experiments. He pays for it, not makes it (like a Herbert West) and has plans for it. But first he must show it off for the college class he teaches! Gets in trouble, then fired, and immediately gets run down by an automobile. Some time passes and we the viewer are introduced to some misfit mercenaries and a car of college somethings driving out in the desert. At the same time a giant rock or two hits Earth and causes an EMP and shuts down everything. This forces both groups on foot and eventually to a secret bunker where Dr. Borge has continued his experiments and plans for world domination through ‘Zombie T-Rexes’! We get a Duke Nuk’em joke and blood and chaos ensues as everybody runs for their lives when the Zombie T-Rex begins eating everyone or at least biting them. The movie spent all its money on the end credits and the cool T-Rex puppet. The movie is completely hilarious and has no business being as good as it was. It’s just one of those weird, hilarious, entertaining horror flicks that just can’t be explained but just witnessed as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Evil Within (DVD) – Here is a wicked downer of a horror flick that stars the legend Michael Berryman, the beautiful and talented Dina Meyer, and one of the “Boondock Saints” dudes aka Sean Patrick Flanery. The film revolves around a mentally challenged person named Dennis who has trouble with change or things out of place or just with his brother. Dennis’ brother played by Boondock Saint Dude brings in an antique mirror thinking one, Dennis will like it and two, it will increase the value of the house he is going to try and sell. Of course this interrupts Dennis’ life and he is pissed until a demon in the form of Michael Berryman that changes himself into Dennis’ image begins to speak with him. So Dennis begins to have regular conversations with the mirror. The talks progress quickly asking Dennis to begin killing and the image will tell him how… But should Dennis do it? The evil image of Dennis explains “it is to fix his brain”. Pretty fucked shit from there as Dennis spirals into a serial killer but does it fix his brain in the end? I will leave that for you to see as this was a pretty dark fucked up flick and for that I give it 3 ½ stars.

Don’t Go In The House (DVD) – This creepy 1979 horror film has a character named Donnie who hears voices as an adult. The voices become louder shortly after his abusive mother dies who he cares for. Think “Psycho” with less personality. I don’t say that in a mean way but takes too long to exactly explain but you’ll understand after the flick. This of course sends Donnie into a descent of madness. But isn’t just any psycho madness, this is some deep dark fucked up interesting shit! Donnie decides it is time to go pick women after he has built a steel furnace in his mother’s house. He takes the women to the home and uses a flame thrower on them. Afterwards he sits them with mum to rot and have conversations with. Shit gets weird for Donnie as he tries to go out with his concerned work friend but things go wrong and he decides it’s time to burn everything! An amazing bat shit crazy thriller/horror flick worth your time horror movie friends as I give this hidden late 70s gem 3 ½ stars.

 

Dracula Untold (DVD) – So recently the now defunct ‘Dark Universe’ peaked my interest so I thought it was time to watch this turd. I am wrong this retelling of the Dracula story is not a turd at all and may have been an actual great set up for the ‘Dark Universe’? Luke Evans stars as Vlad the Impaler we know and love. But his legendary and brutal war times are behind him. Vlad is a family man but his people are in trouble because he refuses to give up his kingdom’s 1000 children to the Turks. They test Vlad because they believe the Vlad they know and feared is in the past. But what they don’t know Vlad on a scouting trip in the woods decided to search atop of a mountain and found an evil creature… a vampire. He goes back home to find out more believing this creature never existed but it does. Faced with no options, he heads back to the mountain to find the creature played by Charles Dance (or Brother Nupsie). Without fear Vlad goes into the dark mountain and the creature is very intrigued with Vlad and makes him a deal. If Vlad is given powers of the vampire he has three days to not drink blood and the Charles Dance stays a vampire. If Vlad drinks human blood he forever becomes the vampire and Charles Dance is free again. Vlad uses these new found powers to destroy his enemies to help save his kingdom but in the end he loses everything and everyone dies, maybe? This film surprised me with its story telling because from trailers and word of mouth I was expecting a turd. But I was wrong and find myself still asking why did Universal stop trying to get this ‘Dark Universe’ off the ground? I give this flick 3 stars.

 

Don’t Look in the Cellar (DVD) – A very cheap looking movie where community college students are given an assignment. Their project is about the local asylum or the Midvale Asylum where a couple students disappeared there several years ago. So the students get together on Halloween to party in the old asylum which was someone’s house (no kidding) and to do research so they can debunk the urban myth. Once there they begin to die in boring ways by the two occupants who still live there. Now this was a turd as I give it 0 stars.

 

The Night Walker (DVD) – A William Castle flick from 1964 about a woman who dreams her dream man while she is married to a jealous blind man. But her husband dies in an explosion and suddenly lines between her dreams and reality become blurred to point she has to move out. But these dreams continue until husband’s lawyer comes to the rescue or so it seems as her husband faked his own death only to screw with his wife. A very twisted story of horror from the filmmaking legend as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

School Night Massacre (DVD) – A 2005 independent Swedish flick that is also known as “Death Academy”. It begins with four students breaking into a school for fun only to be stalked and killed by a masked person. Ten years go by and students are given an assignment on serial killers. So four students decide to cover what happened at the school ten years earlier because the man (Niklas) that was put away in an asylum is being released today. The students want to get his side of the story because he claims the police got the wrong guy? Once they interview Niklas they convince him to help prove his innocence as they go to the school to get evidence against the principal. When the principal figures out this is all going down he locks down the school trapping them all inside with a masked killer. A good amount of bloody deaths and a switcheroo makes this Indy slasher a fun watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The New York Centerfold Massacre (VHS/DVD-R) – This 1985 film has a better backstory than the movie itself. Apparently all the master tapes for the film got screwed up and the film was supposed to be 55 minutes. But because of the screw up it is cut at 39 minutes and was only available on VHS by mail order. And by the looks of the film or seventh generation VHS/DVD-R copy I watched I would put this more 1982ish. The film is about some young ladies answering modeling ads that are disappearing. The police believe it is this Martino guy who just moved in the area who has tried to get young ladies into porn? But after a talk with a psychic and a story about a masked person in the Soho district the cops go take down the killer. A bit boring but worth the watch if you are a VHS buff as I give it 1 star.

 

Suicide Girls Must Die! (DVD) – So this been sitting at my house for a while and I knew there was a possibility I would regret watching this giant turd and I did. This god awful film has tatted up website models heading out to a remote cabin to do the calendar shoot. But on top of what they are all doing they decide they will film everything or stream it at all times… supposedly? They want a reality show for the website for fans to enjoy but once a couple girls go missing some of the others get worried. A couple will shoot pics of a topless girl while a couple others worry and stay at the remote cabin. In the end they did their version of “April Fool’s Day” which you see coming as the film began. But when your only plot of the film is to shoot pictures of topless women that isn’t a horror film as much as a bad soft-core film that just annoys so this flick is just a pile of crap that angered me. This turd needs to be buried deep to never be witnessed by anyone again.

 

Camp Massacre (DVD) – A rather recent flick that has Jim O’Rear starring and directing a horror flick about ‘Fat Camp’. The film stars Dick Warlock, Al Snow, and one of my favorite porn stars Bree Olson (disappointingly is only in the first four minutes of the film). So ten fat dudes are picked to go to this fat camp to lose weight for a reality TV show. The fat dude that loses the most weight at the end of the show wins a million dollars. Jim O’Rear is the TV host who is trying to get these dudes going but has a staff behind him to help everyone to stay on site. Problem is the fat dudes are being killed one by one by a person wearing an apron and a bucket on their head and oh yeah they have a fake machete. I enjoyed the concept of the film, loved Al Snow as fat camp security, enjoyed Bree Olson for the short time she was in it (yinz know she can actually act right?) But the 130 minute running time is what kills this possibly fun slasher film before it ever gets started. I would have loved to see this film edited down but otherwise I only give this film 1 star.

 

Any comments or questions please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.netor www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/ also available at http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kyle-poling-2/bloodbaths-and-boomsticks?refid=stpr

 

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

 

See yinz at GROSSFEST! July 28, 2018! Go check out www.grossfest.com for all the details! 

 

Filming begins on the new horror fantasy ‘Amethyst’

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Amethyst poster Tagline final2lrg

Frolic Pictures and psycho-sensationalist Jared Masters invite you on a trip that might last… Forever. The new school of cinematic marvels is introduced in the form of… a girl, who gets trapped in that trip, because she exceeded the recommended dose, the warning; that one drop is enough.

Amethyst is the surreal true story of a beautiful birthday girl, whose 16 innocent years on earth are extremely disrupted by the celebration of her turning 17. It comes in the form of a dropper bottle, a full vile. It was intended for the entire party, but without thinking she consumes it all. Her quick decent into horrifying hallucinations transpire, as she explores her mother’s garden, with her best friend Ember, who tragically gave her the gift, in pursuit.

Introducing Grace Klich as Amethyst, and Valerie Miller as Ember. Co-starring Derrick Biedenback as the Centaur, with The Prince of Horror Erotica himself, Jared Masters, portraying the Nobleman. Cinematography by Takede Osheame. Production assistance and continuity by Matt McPartland and Casey Plemons. Written and directed by Jared Masters (Slink, Ballet of Blood, After School Massacre).

This new horror fantasy is being filmed in stunning 4K resolution. It will be the first feature film Jared Masters has shot outside of California, and is rumored to be completely void of dialogue. Psy Matix and Wizerd are in negotiations to provide the score. We can expect a release set for later this Fall, 2016. Trailer coming soon.