Gross Movie Reviews #577

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Island of Blood (DVD) – Before we get into this lesser known slasher film/thriller from 1982 some of you might know this as “Scared Alive” or even it’s more popular alternate title “Whodunit” which is available on YouTube for free. Anyway we have a film about a film crew heading out to an island (stars Rick Dean and Steven Tash) where they are going to film a low budget horror movie. Most of who are involved are just trying to expand their resume but little they know is this film wastes no time offing its characters in a quick bloody manner. The unknown killer uses music to determine the death of their victim along with its little twist ending which makes this a must see for fans of the 80s slasher genre as I give it 2 stars.

Carver (DVD) – An unknown low budget Halloween horror film from 2015 about two kids who are bullied and go missing on Halloween because of a dispute of a pumpkin carving contest. Eight years have passed and the kids aka bullies are seniors in high school and this Halloween they all receive an odd carved pumpkin on their front porch to send a message of things to come that night? As the friends get killed off in gory fashion during the major Halloween party the film goes to a very dark and creepy place after the reveal of who the killer is… Great story telling, solid acting, but this film is missing the right music? The film’s composer or whoever decided on this almost literally steals “Carpenter’s Halloween theme”? It’s like they had no choice in music choices for the film except almost cross the line of just stealing the notes… This hurts this wonderful film overall as there are fun independent composers like a Matt Cannon or a more big budgeted Indy composer in Midnight Syndicate that would have sent this film from an unknown to an independent Halloween themed film us horror fans are talking about with the likes of “The Barn”! Yep, I went there as I like this film but the music failed it as I only can give this movie 2 ½ stars.

The Black Phone (On Demand) – I enjoy being late to films and social media unless its “V.F.W.” remember who told you that film was bad ass but anyway I finally found myself watching this new Ethan Hawke (aka maybe the new Rutger Hauer?) film. The film is set in 1978 Denver, where a serial killer or kidnapper nicknamed the “Grabber” is grabbing kids under 18 years old over a several month period. Finney and his sister Gwen talk about it but don’t think about it too much until Finney’s best friend gets snatched and Gwen has a dream about where the kid might be? From there it isn’t too long before Finney is grabbed by the “Grabber” who wears several faces and keeps him in a soundproof basement. The “Grabber” is fascinated by Finney as he doesn’t play the games with him the other victims did as Finney begins to talk into a disconnected black phone where it is the past victims trying to help? I honestly wasn’t expecting much from this flick after watching the trailer and seeing what others have said but I got to say I was pleasantly surprised with this horror/thriller and definitely give it my approval to all of yinz to give it a watch as I give it 3 stars.

Prison of the Psychotic Damned (DVD) – I must apologize to my neighbor Nathan for watching this with me over some beers that help make this paranormal Indy film any better. A group of ghost hunters investigate a supposedly haunted train terminal that was so horrible it makes me feel bad for the bad things I have said about “Grave Encounters”? I give it 0 stars and no the huge naked breasts at the beginning of the film don’t make up for the crap you threw in front of the cameras.

Evil Dead Trap (Blu-ray) – Excuse me as I reach deep into the Asian-cult horror film culture with this flick that I remember seeing once and only time on a bootleg tape in the mid-90s. A Japanese horror film from 1988 that gained a rep of a “must-see” horror flick through tape traders and bootlegs throughout the 90s. It is centered on a TV reporter Nami, as she has received a tape or more specific a possible snuff tape from a superfan? Nami makes a case she wants to investigate if this is actually real and her research takes her and a small crew to an abandoned air base. Nami’s ‘Late Show’ is struggling in the ratings recently and something like this would for sure put her back on top! The crew believes this is a fun idea until they run into someone with a split personality and brutally kills them one by one in this crazy, gory, over the top horror film that finds a way to go even beyond insanity with its ending. Honestly I can tell you the Blu-ray transfer isn’t too much different from the bootleg I seen as many others a couple decades ago did too but something tells me there wasn’t much source material to grab from? But there is three different commentaries in this package and a few interview tidbits that the cult following this film has will find pleasing as I give it 3 stars.

Avengers Grimm: Time Wars (DVD) – By some chance you wonder if I still watch some dumb ass shit, this is proof as I give this nothing as I feel like Asylum Entertainment should be paying me at this point?

Crosstalk (DVD) – In case “Demon Seed” among many others of the late 70s and early 80s computer horror films were not enough for you there is this Australian flick where the “i500” does everything and is about to go public, maybe? Ed is the main dude behind the i500 and finds a malfunction as the computer can control everything but things change after the computer causes a horrible accident for Ed that puts him in a wheelchair. Working from home on the new i500 and pressure from the company Ed is trying to figure out the malfunction but meanwhile the computer is learning and spying all who are around as both the i500 prototype and Ed are being pushed out by the company… I can only give this Aussie flick 1 star as it seemed restrained most of the time.

The Halloween Store Zombie Wedding Movie (DVD) – I absolutely love the concept and story is okay but the filmmakers failed with having full reign in a Halloween Spirit Store as the backdrop for most of their film as it also claims to have a $100,000 budget? Someone took the money and ran! Just in case you were curious an urban legend called “Ole Jeremiah” comes to haunt the store on Halloween night and traps a few employees, a soon-to-be-wed couple, and a fake paranormal dude cause he wants revenge for something that happened over a hundred years ago. Again I go back to you have full reign of a Halloween store for a horror movie and you give me some kind of half-ass carbon copy of “The Clerks” with more of a love story feel… Someone got robbed here and it wasn’t just the people who watched this film (me and about five other people) but filmmakers you should know better: Use what you got and neglect what you have as this film had potential but just makes me want to wait for the 50% sale at the Spirit stores a couple days before Halloween as I give it 0 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #576

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Noah’s Shark (DVD) – Mark Polonia and his usual suspects are back with another no budget shark movie where when Noah built the ark there was a demon shark or some shit? Now present day, a troubled priest and his video crew search for the ark when a hot redhead isn’t on screen and they talk about ‘Witches of Endor’. Which isn’t that the place where the Ewoks are from? Anyway they head to the forest to search for this ark and end up in a bootleg Talking Heads video after 60 minutes of film… Yes kids, this one was bad from the get go and did I mention there is barely a shark in this as I give this film zero stars!

The Glove (DVD) – John Saxon is a bounty hunter who plays it safe and collects on the little bounties to stay out of trouble and keep his health. Rosey Grier is a big ass man with a riot glove that when he isn’t fucking up Ford Pintos he is planning revenge against some prison guards and executing them. But with a divorce and a gambling problem Saxon’s character the $20,000 price tag to bring Rosey in too hard to pass up in this late 70s action/exploitation flick as I give it 3 stars.

Scavenger (DVD) – A newer low budget post-apocalyptic film out of Argentina that follows the female character Tisha who is an organ dealer that gets mixed up in a world of sex, drugs, and gore. Lots of crazy Mad Max shit going on with a good mix of gore but the film drags big time as the story gets stuck in boredom when Tisha is drugged up and a sex slave for over half of the film. This film starts off wonderful paying homage to George Miller and his post-apocalyptic world but fails miserably before the film ever ends as I hated to give this a bad rating because I wanted to love this but only find myself giving it one out of four stars. It had the cars, the set design, the music, just couldn’t get the story together at all…

Death Screams (DVD) – A lesser known slasher film of sorts from 1982 that is also known under the title of “House of Death” got a DVD release in 2021. A small town where not much goes on until someone picks up a machete and decides it is time to slice their way through the town’s population. This slasher isn’t anything special and might be the reason this is a lesser known slasher but if you are a collector or a completest you most likely want to check this out for a watch as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Bigfoot vs. Megalodon (DVD) – It was time to walk down the “WTF?” road again and watch the sequel to “Bigfoot vs. Illuminati”. Yes, I cannot help myself but to watch garbage as this story takes place in 4045 and Van Helsing clone and his best friend Bigfoot are back to take on a Nazi-born experiment (Megalodon). This animated feature didn’t take long to get stupid and boring and just like the entry before was just a bad idea as I give it 0 stars.

Blood Bite (DVD) – First we need to go through this new shark film alternate title: Blood Shark, Horror Shark, and something in Chinese I can’t pronounce. But anyway if you needed “The Meg” rip-off you got one and of course nothing can go wrong when you experiment on sharks? Doesn’t take long for the CGI shark to get smarter and more pissed off and me wanting to just watch “Bad CGI Sharks” instead of this bad entry into the shark genre as I give it 0 stars.

Bull Shark (DVD) – Our story takes place in a small Texas town where the small town and its game warden have a shark in fresh water issue. The film has a great serious shark feel to it, set design, great actors, but the story is piss poor for going with the serious shark plotline. The days of a backasswards town mayor having the power to keep people quiet, not letting video of the shark get out, and any information about it being in the lake storyline have died. The “Jaws” storyline is weak if you are actually trying for a serious shark film, hell it barely works as comedy for the outlandish mutant shark films as it is overdone. Funny part is I enjoy everything else about the film and loved the Nolan Ryan plaque in the game warden’s office too but I can’t help but stress it’s time to rethink shark films if you go in the serious direction as I give this 1 star.

Maggots (DVD) – Aspiring scientist who is still a college student Stan convinces his professor to travel to a small town called Beaver Kill. There he believes he can prove contamination in the water is causing mutation among the animal and insect population but there is a catch? The professor forces a few failing students upon Stan for this weekend trip if he wants his extra credit and possibly his degree. Stan not expecting much than gathering samples for his paper gets a big surprise after he and his amateur research group do shrooms as that is when the action really begins. The giant maggots begin to attack trying to suck the heads off of humans in this throwback of late 80s and 90s mutant monster films as I give this hilarious unknown horror film 3 stars.

The Big F (Blu-ray) – A 2016 feature from the Rock Bottom Video crew where writer/director Brian Papandrea gets the talented crew Sadie Tate, Nathan Rumler, and others into a Bigfoot on the loose in a neighborhood on Valentine’s Day film. Bigfoot is horny and pissed off after escaping his basement prison and decides to terrorize a little housing division. But a redneck named Maverick is born ready to take on this hairy beast after it murdered his wife! What Maverick doesn’t know is Bigfoot has a small penis and really just wants laid on this Valentine’s Day. The Blu-ray has a commentary, behind the scenes segment, and two short films with one of them being a very hilarious short called, “Afro Zombies” featuring a much younger Brian Papandrea it seems? As usual more fun stuff from the Rock Bottom Video crew as give this package 3 out of 4 stars.

Wolves of Wuhan (DVD) – An Indy film out of China that I of course had to watch, because it is complete hot garbage where an ex-con/bar manager/punk rock band vocalist gets caught up with drug dealing thugs and has sex with a woman who also happens to be a CGI werewolf! Sounds like it has a little potential on paper but the acting is stale, the effects make my movies look like Oscar-winners, and the story was beyond terrible from the beginning. I give it 0 stars as I knew it was a bad idea from the beginning to watch this but hey you knew I had too.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #575

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The Stuff (Blu-ray) – Honestly what else can you says about this mid-80s classic that has yogurt eating people and taking them over “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” style! The movie looks wonderful all cleaned up but the hook for collectors will be the over 50 minute interview with Larry Cohen discussing actor choices for the film and others that were a part of the film talking about their experience doing the picture. This is a must buy as I give it 4 stars all the way and yes they even show the deleted commercials for “The Stuff”.

Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge (Blu-ray) – This somewhat forgotten 1989 horror film is a “Phantom of the Opera” if it was a slasher film in a mall that takes place over July 4th weekend. The film stars Ken Foree, Morgan Fairchild, Tom Fridley, and Pauly Shore (first movie appearance). If it helps I absolutely love this movie but also make fun of it constantly when watching it. I have always done it since I found this film in a video store in the early 90s. Anyway, a man named Eric breaks into the new mall and sets up his underground lair and kills anyone that gets nosey or gets too close to his girl Melody. But the two haven’t been together for the past year as a suspicious fire tears the two a part and it is believed Eric is dead. Now Eric just watches Melody from afar but things change when the man that killed Eric’s parents and tried but failed to kill Eric so they were able to move on with the planned mall. The bodies pile up but not a lot of gore in this as Eric goes bad in order to get what he wants in the same mall that “Chopping Mall” was filmed at! The Blu-ray has a bunch of little interviews, two commentaries, but the highlight is the original writers just tearing the movie a part and bitching about Hollywood, a must own as I give it 4 stars.

Vampires of Sorority Row (DVD) – This terrible attempt at a horror film is well worth seeking out for laughs as Cindy has escaped the trailer park and the vampires that try to get her there. Cindy is enrolled in college and she is one of the pledges for Alpha Beta Gamma, she must gather a hundred pledge points in order to be initiated into the sorority. But Lori a past Queen of the sorority who now is a vampire has made her return and wants to turn the new pledges into her minions by biting them in the ass! Cindy and the other pledges must decide: be a vampire or fight them off? This independent film is bad on so many fronts I do not know how I haven’t heard of it before because now I want everyone to witness the carnage as I give it 0 stars cause its crap but for the love of Rutger Hauer it was somehow entertaining crap?

Crimes of the Future (On Demand) – David Cronenberg, I love you for not giving up the fight of making something that people will have trouble ten years from now wrapping their brains around this wonderful piece of filmmaking. This filmmaker is one of a kind and he proves it again as he dives into body horror of the future where the human body is changing and of course the government wants to know why and track it. “Surgery is the new sex” and all comes back to human evolution and what is considered wrong as the film centers on two characters are performance artists who use their bodies in a unique way. But just when you think you have the film figures out it gets turned sideways… again. Try to review this without giving too much away for the mere reason I want people to see this and form their own opinion about it as I know there is a good chance this film will be in my ‘top three films of 2022’ as I give it 4 stars. Favorite quote of the film comes from Viggo as he says to Kristen Stewart, “I am not good at the old sex?” Watch it and you’ll understand…

Blood in the Water (DVD) – The British version of Jigsaw shackles a group of people who have done some bad things in their lives in the pool house so their pet shark can come out and munch on them. Dumb shark idea #6099, as I give it a ½ star just for making me watch it because of a shark eating people in a pool house.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (On Demand) – Nic Cage plays Nic Cage as he gets caught up between U.S. government agents and an arms dealer whose cartel has just kidnapped a young woman recently. Nic Cage fakes until he makes it for the money until his family gets involved and he must actually save his real family before they are all killed by the cartel. This film doesn’t work with any actor other than Nic Cage as he mocks himself but is super entertaining at the same time showing off why people are so intrigue with his ability as I give the film 3 stars.

Curse of the Queerwolf (DVD) – This 1988 no budget film is about Larry who is just a normal guy who when he hangs out with his best friend goes screwing around with random women. Then one night Larry learns the hard way things are not what it all looks like when a transvestite bites him on the ass! Now Larry is losing his mind because he is having nightmares of wearing women’s clothes and physically changing. Luckily for Larry he almost kills a gypsy with his car and she tries to help him out because there is somehow a full moon every night. And if he doesn’t take her help he could always insert a silver sex toy to end the curse? First, this was one of those films I have always wanted to check out and finally had a reason too and so glad I did because it is so ahead of its time. Second, now saying that I can easily see people’s heads exploding when watching this film and taking it out of context? It is smart, funny, and entertaining as I give it 4 stars as this film should be more celebrated.

Jurassic Shark 2: Aquapocalypse (DVD) – Another no budget shark film from Mark Polonia where he and the usual suspects are set on an oil rig that has drilled into some kind of frozen pocket undersea. Now the 50 million year old bad CGI shark is under constant watch so the company can continue their drilling no matter what. Doesn’t take long for the shark to attack the drill and start killing random people in this poor excuse for a shark movie as I give this film 0 stars.

Hard Knuckle (DVD/YouTube) – I dug deep into the post-apocalyptic bag of movies to find this Aussie T.V. flick from 1987 that stars ‘Goose’ aka Steve Bisley from “Mad Max” aka Harry who is looking for a pool game. See pool is a less violent way to settle things in the post-apocalyptic world but you can lose a pinky. All Harry wants is his bike back from a former pool buddy but he needs to hustle for money to get into the big game. The movie is okay but not as fun as the post-apocalyptic flick where Rutger Hauer and others are playing with a dog skull in some kind of weird primitive football but anyway I give this 2 stars.

My Lovely Burnt Brother and His Squashed Brain (DVD/YouTube) – Holy shit folks strap in for this Eye-talian no budget flick from the late 80s where a woman tired of people making fun of her at her job and tired of her deformed brother. Which be warned people her brother Bernie wears a KKK mask for a bad joke…? Anyway she decides to shoot her brother up with her urine and the weird thing it turns her brother into a zombie that she can control for her bidding! So why not have Bernie slaughter the people she doesn’t like? Weird and crazy shit pretty much explains this train wreck of a mess as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest-o-ween

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October 29th, 2022, Saturday, 11-4pm

Willow Station

3841 Willow Ave.

Castle Shannon, PA 15234

Back Parking lot

Grossfest-o-ween is coming!

Yes Grossfest fans, we are doing one more outdoor event. The last had a tornado warning and downpours of rain, but that didn’t stop all of us (guests, vendors, and attendees) from having fun at Willow Station Restaurant and Bar in Castle Shannon, Pa. Hell Grossfest fans, let’s see if it snows this time? On Saturday, October 29th, 2022, from 11 to 4, we will be celebrating Halloween with Willow Station. We also have two guests lined up for our free show which will be announced in the next week. Look, we know Grossfest is something yinz all want to happen and so do we. Pandemic, government blows ass, people with no jobs, gas prices, everyone has lost their mind, take your pick of the many things that is killing off conventions right now? In this area it takes $10,000 to put on a one day show and none of us have that right now. We live in reality and knowing what we did before the pandemic and what we have tried since, people still want Grossfest to exist and to keep supporting all the independent filmmakers, authors, and artists! Grossfest is not part of the cool kids’ community, Grossfest is a show for the independent filmmakers, authors, and artists trying to survive in a crowd of autograph shows that may have forgot what made those shows once fun. The goals of Grossfest will always be to support the independent community and have fun for all doing it because remember it started off as a joke. Again folks the show is free to attend! But like before we just ask for all yinz to go inside and visit the nice folks (Sean, Kim, and Dom) of Willow Station Restaurant and Bar and show your support by buying a pop, a beer, lunch, etc. This helps show these nice folks that you are happy they allowed us to use their parking lot for Grossfest!

First Vendor info:

Vendors: Same rules… Bring your own canopy tent, chairs, and table for your space. (We are not supplying them) Spaces are only $25 again! Please contact grossfest@gmail.com for a vendor application and you can make payment through PayPal, cash, or send us a check. If needed contact Tom Gross through Facebook or find the link through www.grossfest.com. The signed contract will be needed before the show. Set up will be from 9 to 11 for vendors!

Now for the guest announcement:

This guest has been nothing but busy the past couple years since she has busted on the independent movie scene with the critically acclaimed “Spirit Animal”! Since then she has done a short that is about to be released on an anthology called, “Trash Removal”, help host a funny and smart podcast called, “The Shitty Shark Show”, worked on another critically acclaimed Indy project “Beyond Dark Dreams” and now has set her sights even higher with her latest project “Bathtub Shark Attack”, please welcome Maddie Deering as a guest for Grossfest-o-ween.

This multi-talented person literally needs no introduction but gonna give one anyway because he has been nothing but brilliant in front and behind the camera. Actor, director, writer, content creator for www.stevebuster.com and www.silverspotlightfilms.com, has made one of the most unusual but one of the best independent films ever in “CarousHell”, but lastly and most importantly is a Grossfest award winner we like to welcome once again Steve Rudzinski. (If we are lucky his super talented wife Tracy will be there also to attend?)

New episode of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks

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This week we reassemble to chat about 3 more flicks that we have hand-picked for your viewing pleasure… or pain.  First we have what Kyle was going to a flick about a killer waterslide but turns out to be a much different movie in AQUASLASH,  then we cover an oldie but a goodie in John’s pick THE MONSTER OF PIEDRAS BLANCAS,  And finally the only slice of Evelsploitation known to man in VIVA KNIEVAL.  Was also yammer on about the ins and outs of being “woke” in today’s polite society and Kyle’s complete lack of understanding of this.  Why not to write a book about Evel Knievel, The new Batman joint. And a lot of other off the cuff topics.  And as always we rundown what we have been watching this past week, we answer your listener questions, and we read all the made up horror movie news that bloody disgusting decided to make up this week.  So download this podcast or a 70’s stuntman will bash your skull in with a baseball bat.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Grossfest-o-ween has been announced!

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Grossfest-o-ween is coming!

Yes Grossfest fans, we are doing one more outdoor event. The last had a tornado warning and downpours of rain, but that didn’t stop all of us (guests, vendors, and attendees) from having fun at Willow Station Restaurant and Bar in Castle Shannon, Pa. Hell Grossfest fans, let’s see if it snows this time? On Saturday, October 29th, 2002, from 11 to 4, we will be celebrating Halloween with Willow Station. We also have two guests lined up for our free show which will be announced in the next week. Look, we know Grossfest is something yinz all want to happen and so do we. Pandemic, government blows ass, people with no jobs, gas prices, everyone has lost their mind, take your pick of the many things that is killing off conventions right now? In this area it takes $10,000 to put on a one day show and none of us have that right now. We live in reality and knowing what we did before the pandemic and what we have tried since, people still want Grossfest to exist and to keep supporting all the independent filmmakers, authors, and artists! Grossfest is not part of the cool kids’ community, Grossfest is a show for the independent filmmakers, authors, and artists trying to survive in a crowd of autograph shows that may have forgot what made those shows once fun. The goals of Grossfest will always be to support the independent community and have fun for all doing it because remember it started off as a joke. Again folks the show is free to attend! But like before we just ask for all yinz to go inside and visit the nice folks (Sean, Kim, and Dom) of Willow Station Restaurant and Bar and show your support by buying a pop, a beer, lunch, etc. This helps show these nice folks that you are happy they allowed us to use their parking lot for Grossfest!

Vendor info and the two guests we are having will be announced next week!

Event is free to attend!

October 29th, 2022, Saturday, 11-4pm

Willow Station

3841 Willow Ave.

Castle Shannon, PA 15234

Back Parking lot

Gross Movie Reviews #574

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Gross Movie Reviews #574

Doctor Death Seeker of Souls (DVD) – This hilariously fun horror flick from the early 70s centers around a man name Fred who is trying to get over his wife’s death and feeling somewhat guilty? Last thing she said to Fred is, “she will return to him”. Fred hanging on to this spends several months tracking down séances, etc., trying to contact his wife, but no luck. Fred is introduced to Doctor Death who has a mysterious past and works like a magician but not so fast he has some dark powers of transference or transferring a soul to another body for a certain fee of course. Doctor Death is paid $50000 by Fred but nothing happens… Disgusted by the act Fred calls it quits and starts bumping uglies with his hot assistant. But Doctor Death cannot let it go and begins a murder spree of women trying to make this one transference right? I believe this glorious 70s cheese still works and worth checking it out like I did if you never heard of it as I give it 3 stars.

The Weirdsies (Blu-ray) – One of the last films from Indy filmmaker Chris Seaver in 2015 who now has turned to doing episodic TV for his You Tube channel did a disturbing parody of ‘Stand by Me’. A funny but yet disturbing adventure of four friends who want to lose their “V-card” during the summer. Their adventure is because they know about a dead body and the plan is to go to it and fuck the shit out of it because supposedly after death the male boner stays erect for 48 hours? (I wasn’t going to look this shit up but you gotta admit, real or not, that’s funny.) If that wasn’t enough there is a group of bullies that want to beat these four virgins to the punch by finding the body first to ruin a good time. And for just for extra spice there is about 40 second-rant about running into cannibal hipsters that I am still laughing about many days after watching. Chris Seaver: intelligent, dumb, or indifferent I was never a huge fan of his work but throughout his independent film career he does seem to surprise me with a project where I believe he shows off a talent that separates himself from just being average. As he proves one more time with this timeless funny adventure I give 3 out of 4 stars.      

The Scarlet Agency (DVD) – Witch Doctor Films is back with another entry into the “Anton Rook” series. Anton Rook is no longer a trusted man by the agency but things change when an evil man may have found a way to produce an invisible man that would lead to making an invisible army for world domination. This invisible man seeks out Rook’s help to try and stop this madman and with Rook’s new protégé they craft a plan but as usual not all as it seems in Rook’s universe as no one can ever be trusted. As usual this independent film is well-crafted and goes from just feeling another fan-made episode of ‘Doctor Who’ to reaching deeper into the character of Rook and making it more of a well-crafted Indy James Bond flick! Well done my friends at Witch Doctor Films as yinz continue to go against the grain and produce some different and exciting independent projects to sometimes a stale genre of filmmaking as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

Blood Thirst (DVD) – A lesser known murder/mystery from the Philippines where several murders have taken place where women have been strung up and drained of blood. Miguel the lead investigator has a world renowned detective friend in New York and has asked him into his country to help solve these vicious murders. The detective a super white dude acts as a tourist to not attract attention while helping Miguel but both uncover something more sinister than they ever thought as the bloodless bodies continue to pile up! Maybe not the best serial killer film but definitely a good one from 1971 that has a little twist to what exactly is going on as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Without Warning (Blu-ray) – This is 1980 alien invasion flick that has a lot of cool people infront of the camera and behind the camera at the same time. An alien has landed on Earth in a mountain countryside of course where it is able to do its thing without question. A couple of cub scouts and hunters hanging out in the woods find this out the hard way as the alien throws starfish blood suckers at them like ninja stars! After some friends get separated and a couple become dinner for the killer starfish and alien their friends want revenge and go to the local tavern to meet up with a crazy war vet and a mean loner. The second half of the film is mostly the characters of Sarge and Taylor fighting over who is going to kill the alien instead of actually doing the deed. The Blu-ray has a few interesting extras that make this package exciting for horror film collectors to have their collection but I have always viewed this film as “one of those should have been better with all who were attached?” as I give the film 2 stars but the Blu-ray package itself 3 ½ stars.

Slugs (Blu-ray) – Plain and simple this is a horror film about killer slugs! A small rural town where people are getting eaten up killer slugs that may have mutated in the sewers when they were disturbed by a new strip mall project. The project is being built on top of an old chemical dumping area during the 60s and 70s and they have broken the seal causing the slugs to feast on human flesh! The heroes are two utility workers who must figure a way out to kill these things before they infest the whole town. The Blu-ray is well worth investment if a fan of the film as not only the film looks great restored as I believe for decades we all had that VHS/DVD release? But also this package has a couple commentaries and a few short interviews that leads into why and where this movie got made which I never knew the film was Spanish, cool shit people. I give this new Blu-ray package of ‘Slugs’ 3 ½ stars.

Homebodies (VHS) – This is a creepy and disturbing mid-70s film that may stick with you as a group of older folk are being driven out of their homes in the name of progress. Their buildings have been condemned and slowly they are being escorted out of their apartments where their have lived most of their adult lives. With construction happening all around them the leader of their group Mattie has a plan as she likes to watch the work go on or I should say her plan go into action? The group slowly sabtoges the new construction in order to have their evictions delayed but the rich boss doesn’t care how many of his crew die its progess! But these old folk will kill whoever gets in their way. It is terribly sad, hilarious, and screwed up all at the same time with an ending I really enjoyed. Been looking for a lesser sadistic horror film to brighten your day look no further than this film as I give the 1974 feature 3 stars.

Miami Connection (DVD) – Ninjas, a biker gang, with cocaine fighting a pop band in Miami who also just happen know martial arts… Yep, I will watch that shit! This 1987 film is like one big 86 minute fight scene that includes cheesy music that feels like it was stolen from an early Nintendo game as I give it 2 ½ stars for just entertaining the hell out of me.

A Meowy Dark Timeline (www.SteveBuster.com) – So Steve Rudzinski fans, Steve continues to make entertaining content for his streaming service outside of his wonderful features as this one is a short five part series that involves all the characters you know and love. The evil emperor is in another universe and has found a way to conquer this alternate universe as it fights its way through several of Steve’s characters from past films. This is a project full of heart for all those people who nerd out over what the talented Mr. Rudzinski has created over the years. You will laugh, you might cry, but Steve knows what to give his fans when it comes to content. So you asked for it and Steve provides as I give this short series project 4 out of 4 stars for the mere reason finding a way to include everything and available at www.stevebuster.com or on Blu-ray at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .

Hell of the Evil Dead (Blu-ray) – Rock Bottom Video who continue to produce smart and different horror titles for the Indy world to eat up has this fun project from a few years back that stars the talents of Brian Papandrea, Sadie Tate, and Nathan Rumler. This isn’t your ordinary feature as they go with a dubbed Italian version (regular English version is on the Blu-ray) to give the feature even more of a fun “Italian filmmaking feel” and it worked. Four friends go camping and stumble upon a graveyard out in the forest that after finding it weird things begin to happen: the path disappears, weird creature like sounds, and day turns to night without changing back. The four move deeper into the woods hoping to outlast or outrun this evil presence but things only get much worse when they find a trailer/cottage with a lone survivor to tell his story of what happened. Great acting, love the whole Italian dubbed thing as it gave the film a whole different feel to it, great pacing, and some good special effects work (head exploding). Indy fan don’t let the title fool you this film needs to be seen. Plus, there is a couple extras that include a disturbing “lost scene” from the film that needs to be witnessed (Thank you Nathan Rumler and Brian Papandrea for not taking yourselves too serious, that extra is glorious) as I give this film 3 ½ out of 4 stars. (Rock Bottom Video can be found on Facebook)

Robo Warriors (DVD/YouTube) – Kids, ‘Robot Jox 3’ or ‘2’ has been found… Wait a second there was another one? Yep, I didn’t know either until I was watching something that was sent to me by a great movie friend. The film is based on Stuart Gordon characters, has Richad Band’s music, giant robots fighting in the future for mankind, distributed by Paramount… Sounds like a sequel to me!? Anyway, by 2036 some aliens invade Earth and are complete dicks as they enslave mankind. A group of resistance fighters led by James Remar make their way into a jungle to recover an Earthbot. This is their only chance to survive and protect the planet. The mission fails but Remar’s character Gibson escapes and disappears. Some time passes but a kid has done his research and believes he can get the Earthbot going again if he can find it? With the help of Gibson they retrieve it and give humans hope again but they must use it to fight in one huge Robot battle with control of the world in the balance. Full Moon and Empire fans will go ape shit over watching this and if they never had the pleasure of stumbling over this feature as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #573

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Gross Movie Reviews #573

Nightmares (Blu-ray) – A wonderful anthology film from the early 80s that might be best known for the video game segment. Funny thing by time 1990 rolled around not only was this film no longer playing on cable TV it seem to disappear with the video stores as music rights kept this film from a whole generation of horror fans from seeing if not halfway into a second generation. Unlike most anthologies this didn’t have a wraparound or a horror host! This gave you chapters that didn’t run too long and for me at least was a fun rewatch a great revisit and reminds me to explain to horror fans you haven’t seen all the anthologies until you seen this one? Anyway, the first chapter deal with the killer is in the backseat of the car. The second chapter is the one everybody remembers where Emilio before the killer trucks takes on a video game where the graphics are horrible by today’s standards but he is obsessed with a video game. The third story is one of my favorites called; “Benediction” where Lance Henriksen is a priest that has lost his way and finds the devil in the desert in a blacked-out window Silverado that he must battle. Then the fourth story is the Devil Rat where it is trying to eat a kid! Sorry kids under 30, next to “Creepshow” I absolutely enjoy this movie and knowing it is out legit on Blu-ray is just a wonderful feeling as I give it 3 ½ stars.   

Bikini Bloodbath Car Wash (DVD) – A sequel from 2008 and that is written and directed by “who in the fuck cares” (literally) this film star Debbie Rochon who runs a car wash whose employees are beautiful nubile women. Once these young women pull out an Ouija board and bring a killer chef back to life. If you want boobs this film has it, if you are looking for a story you might wanna check out the next feature? Honestly I know this was a thing in 2006, 2007, 2008, etc., but just don’t feel it holds up well as I give it 1 ½ stars just for Debbie Rochon.

Steel-Man the Movie (DVD) – This is the 2 hour and 12 minute theatrical cut not the 3 hour plus cut that is available if interested? Our film begins with our hero covered in blood and desperately trying to explain what had happened to him or how he got there? The story is from David Michael Palmer Jr. who is Steel-Man in which for movie sakes runs two successful businesses out of the old C3 Mall and the biggest Italian boss in town owns it. Of course the two entities do not get along. This Italian mob boss is trying to figure out how to get rid of Steel-Man so he is able to sell off the old C3 Mall. But things do not go well when you combine satanic strippers at Club Ballz that causes a bunch of zombie shit to happen at the Steel-Man Comi-con! From there is only one hero you can count on and that is Steel-Man to figure out the cause and how to clean up the mess caused by the zombie horde at the comi-con. This super ambitious Indy superhero project has its moments, has some laughs, has a good amount of blood, references to NOTLD,  but the running time will always be something Indy fans will not be happy with as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Harvest of Blood (DVD) – A short horror film where a kid Benny visits Mr. Boo the scarecrow on regular basis to have conversations with him. The neighbors are not happy but who cares as the kid isn’t doing anything to their lawn but the kid gets murdered in front of Mr. Boo and that is when things change? This murder of the kid and his belief brings Mr. Boo to life to seek revenge… You can find the film at www.leagacyverseproductions.com and I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Rotten Harvest (DVD) – A sequel to 2012s ‘Harvest of Blood’ that deals with a tight knit family who bring an individual to their cornfield to seek revenge for his transgressions. But this Mr. Boo’s cornfield and he is cleaning up the cornfield he watches over as I give this short film 2 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.legacyverseproductions.com .

Fear the Reaper (DVD) – A beautiful young woman is having horrific dreams of other people being murdered by a figure in a dark costume or a reaper costume. These dreams/visions are haunting the young lady and they are not what they seem as she is being used by a demonic force? Kinda hard to explain but an interesting concept as I give the film 2 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.legacyverseproductions.com .

Reaper Reborn (DVD) – The story of the “Reaper” continues as it was thought to be dead but rises again to murder as it is a very hard to kill presence. This short film mainly deals with the Reaper pissed off and looking to fight a young witch. This film feels incomplete and for good reason as it’s just a hold over for the next film or finale in the “Reaper” series. This should have not been by itself but just combined with the next project “Absence of Evil”, unless it was originally a web series or something but still then should have been one whole project as I give it 1 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.legacyverseproductions.com .

In the Absence of Evil (DVD) – Another entry into the “reaper” series where this picks up right after the demonic force is supposedly defeated by the young witch? This event just sends ordinary people into random killing rages and copying the “Reaper” or is he just gathering an army? Again this would have felt completed if it was one movie with ‘Reaper Reborn’ but you will be lost without the other as I give this 1 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.legacyverseproductions.com .

Reaper’s Revenge (DVD) – Supposedly the finale of the ‘Reaper’ series as the beginning of the film does its best to get everyone up to speed what has happened and what’s going on? The Reaper and the witch have gone back and forth for the better part of three films but this time around as it is using dumb humans to do his bidding it is able to kill the witch… Of course that isn’t it as we got demonic presence, vampires, vampire hunters, witches, and time travel as the Reaper believes he has reached his “Endgame”? I may only give this whole series 1 or 1 ½ out of 4 stars but believe different actors but same people behind the camera and script this series may have turned out a little better in my opinion as you can also find this at www.legacyverseproductions.com .

A Midsummer Nightmare (DVD) – A woman who is trapped in her own dream loop where she has had enough and just wants to end the madness? But the biggest issue is she is a part of something screwing with her for its investigation. I give this little project 2 out of 4 stars.

Evil Laugh (DVD) – First time watch for this rather lesser known slasher horror flick where a group of med students are invited to a fancy home for the weekend. Once there the group is supposed to help fix it up to be a good foster home for their friend Jerry but the home has a terrible past and a killer still haunts the grounds of the home. Not a real exciting slasher film that might be better known for starring Scott Baio’s brother than actually being a film you are willing to watch as I give it 1 ½ stars.   

Ten Doors (DVD) – Filmmaker Gordy Price is back with a new project that is best known for ‘Music Store Massacre’ in 2014. This is a tough tale about a character named Gabe who after dying in 1865 visits several realties or limbos depending how you take this? Is it hell or is it purgatory and is he supposed to try and save people along the way as there is talk of restoring order and murder is okay… Devil, limbo, and a question about suicide make this film not your typical Indy project that has an odd Twin Peaks feel to it. Seems like a well-produced project but in the end I feel like I am missing something and that this will be a film hard to sell to Indy horror fans that are used to tits, blood, S.O.V., shaky-cam and sometimes a horrible sock monster as I give this project 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #572

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Gross Movie Reviews #572

The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue (Blu-ray) – Many people also know it as ‘Let Sleeping Corpses Lie’ but that doesn’t stop it from being a popular zombie flick among horror fans. George an antiques dealer heads out to the country to get away from people and industry for the weekend but that is thrown into chaos when a ditzy woman named Christina backs over his bike. Together the two head out to Christina’s sisters’ place. Things go bad when Christina cannot stop talking about the beast that came for her. The two arrive to find the sister in hysterics and the husband dead and the detective believes “the damn hippie”, George, is capable of doing the dirty deed. Now the two must stick around for the investigation but after some of their own research George believes it is the ultra-sonic radioactive device being used experimentally to kill parasites on a farm is the cause. Got some gore, got some unstoppable zombies, and we got a cop that always believes the hippie did it so I am in as I give the film 2 ½ stars but 4 out of 4 stars all the way for Synapse Films going all out giving UK zombie fans an absolute pristine Blu-ray. The film looks beautiful, super colorful and it is like watching it for the first time again… Synapse made sure to pack this disc with a couple commentaries, a documentary on filmmaker Jorge Grau along with a few other goodies that will make you happy you made this purchase so go to www.synapse-films.com for your copy now.

Studio 666 (On Demand) – So The Foo Fighters are working on another album but have hit a snag? It is their tenth album and they are feeling pressure from their manager to make this happen but Dave Grohl and company haven’t got anything on paper. The manager super-hot with their pissing around sends them to a known haunted house in Encino, California to actually work on the new album. They all agree it has a great creepy death vibe but think nothing of it until weird things begin to happen and their roadie is killed while hooking up equipment. Meanwhile trying to continue on and Dave having writer’s block he does find the basement where he finds a bad ass never finished track from the band “Dream Widow”. He quickly becomes possessed and is determined to finish this epic song which will be the whole album! There are demons, possession, talk of Satan, great music, humor, and who would have guessed that Dave Grohl can actually act? Now I won’t go “one of the best films of 2022” but this was a lot of fun and a pleasant surprise for horror movie fans as I give it 3 stars.

Feeders 3 (DVD) – Mark Polonia dips into the Polonia Brothers archive to make the ‘Feeders’ franchise a trilogy. These two Indy cult films were from the mid to late 90s starring the brothers and Jon McBride and have garnished some fanfare from Indy collectors as some of the most fun films you could see? Well, 25 years later and the aliens have returned to harvest humans as the usual Polonia cast all make an appearance including “a photo and footage from the past two films of Jon McBride” (that was a nice touch). A F.B.I. agent is visiting Wellsboro, Pa. as it is the anniversary and been 25 years since the “Wellsboro 10” with the case never being solved. He is investigating the lone survivor Derek who is still hanging out in an asylum following the event many years ago but still trying to warn all the people Wellsboro aliens are coming to harvest them! To give the film some filler and humor is the filmmaker making a cheap film on the “Wellsboro 10” but that doesn’t even matter because the highlight might be the aliens setting a trap for Santa Claus… Cheesy and stupid but it made me laugh my ass off as I give this third entry into the “Feeders” franchise 2 ½ stars.

Dominion (DVD) – I am always a sucker for late 80s to mid-90s direct-to-video stuff. Especially when it stars Tim Thomerson and Brion James! Anyway a group of hunters head for a super special secluded hunting/camping grounds that is run by Lynnwood Adventures. But after an accident last year the owner Lynnwood hasn’t been seen or heard from much leaving his partner in charge. So when Harris and his group are being shot at by a sniper on a bridge in the mountains its Lynnwood who wants revenge on all hunters for accidentally killing his kid. Not the best of action flicks but I am a sucker for stuff like this every time and I give it 2 stars.

Bloody Pit of Horror (DVD) – A fun oddball flick from the 60s where the legend of The Crimson Executioner is still haunting a castle over 300 years later. He was entombed into his own device the ‘Iron Maiden’ (insert Bill and Ted joke here) to never be opened. But the tomb is accidentally opened when a group of people who break into the castle to take risky photographs using the castle as the backdrop. Soon people are being murdered and could it be the Crimson Executioner is back? Or is it the retired strong man who has lost his marbles living there? Anyway the whole time I kept waiting for Santo or Batman to show up. Looking for pointless fun then make this your first stop as this film caused me to laugh quite a few times as I give it 2 ½ stars.

New Year’s Evil (Blu-ray) – I will admit I have only watched this film twice in my life this being the third and very late to the party of seeing this early holiday slasher. Hell, this one gets forgotten often when horror fans talk slashers? Anyhow third time was a charm because this updated Blu-ray from Kino Lorber is ridiculously awesome! There were literally whole scenes I had never understood because of how crappy the quality was on the other versions I watched.  But anyhow TV host is counting down the ‘New Wave’ music each hour until the ball drops but there is a killer on the loose named “Evil” who is killing a person for each time zone. Can he be stopped in time before he kills Blaze? It has its moments but nowhere as good as some of the other holiday titles but this Blu-ray is a definite for the hardcore collectors out there as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Dash Cam (On Demand) – If you took the recent film ‘Spree’ and the found footage film ‘Area 51’ jammed them together and make sure the lead character is a despicable American you will hate in the first five minutes of the film that is your film here? Anyhow Annie doesn’t believe in the pandemic and flies to the UK to fuck with her friend who is living a different life during the pandemic. Annie like most young people has a live stream show called “Band Car” where she is constantly rapping or just recording everything she does. Annie is having a good old time being a complete asshole until she meets Angela and her weirdness and still finds a way to be an asshole and a classic example why many people believe humanity should just end since we all have no common sense any longer? For the most part this film wasn’t made for me and I think making the Annie character such an asshole along with the scrolling on the side of the screen takes away from any momentum you are trying to scare people with the Angela character. I give this quickly forgotten film 1 star.

Art House Massacre (DVD) – This 2012 film is hidden in plain sight called ‘Art of Darkness’ but its original title is so much better and makes so much more sense. Besides three minutes in we have a great eye gouge scene there is an artist who works with flesh let’s say. Liz is a model who has taken a break because she and the boyfriend try to have a baby I believe and they lost it. She takes a modeling gig begrudging but knows they need the money. She meets the artist/serial killer and is kidnapped for far more demented reasons. Ben the boyfriend pursues looking for her with no answers and the cops being to slow but both parties find out much more unsettling truths about the artist once they start digging hoping for a clue to find Liz. This was a nice surprise as the usual ‘massacre’ crap is crap where this was a nice sadistic serial killer film that I give 2 ½ stars.

Nightmare Beach (Blu-ray) – Great cast, its 1988, Umberto Lenzi is connected to this project, it stars John Saxon and Michael Parks, I felt like I was in for a cheeseball treat! A notorious biker Diablo is executed right before spring break in South Florida for a murder he did not commit. But justice was done to make the mayor happy until it isn’t long before Diablo’s grave is disturbed and a mysterious biker is roaming the streets for rando spring breakers to execute them. This movie doesn’t disappoint with the 80s cheese as the whole thing comes down to a cover up by John Saxon’s cop character and the mayor. I had a lot fun watching this for the first time and looks absolutely wonderful, again thank you Kino Lorber as I give it 3 stars.

Frankenstein 1970 (DVD) – No where the best of the Boris Karloff films but Karloff plays the Baron Frankenstein who is concerned about his legacy? Being broke and needing money for equipment he allows a film crew into his castle and begins to even interact with the filming while he is busy with his toilet paper Frankenstein in his secret lair! It does drag a good bit but when Boris is on screen this late 50s flick is must see just to enjoy Karloff just because as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Jurassic Thunder (DVD) – This 2019 film tries to be funny but fails miserably as a comic book store owner opens a one of a kind comic to read the tale of zombies, dinosaurs, and the military trying to stop WWIII from happening. A dictator in Africa has unleashed something horrible on the world and the U.S. and Russia don’t want to use nukes so let’s use commando dinosaurs. Sounds like it could be a lot of fun but instead is a lot of jokes falling flat and bad CGI that makes Asylum look like they make “JAWS” every time out as I give this turd 0 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!