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Of course for our next guest announcement we didn’t want to forget another talented duo that was not able to make 2023 Grossfest because of illness. So we made sure to get them back on board for 2024 as they want to see what Grossfest is all about? They are Cleveland’s first horror hostess and Late Night Missing Link who have done a show for nearly a decade and their show is on several streaming platforms and still expanding! The entertaining duo not only pays tribute to past horror hosts but find a way to separate themselves from the pack into being something entirely special and unique to watch almost every Friday. They are fun, cool, beyond entertaining may we again introduce yinz all to The Mummy and The Monkey!
So for our first guest announcement we really wanted to bring in someone different who hadn’t been in the Pittsburgh area ever! But also person or persons who are super talented where Grossfest fans will be chomping it to bit to meet them? The first half of this talented duo is a writer, producer, actor, director and not only has made some interesting films he runs a company that is well known by east coast independent horror fans for over the past decade. Second half of this talented duo has acted in over 25 Indy films and has a screen presence that just jumps off the screen as this person has become a huge fan favorite. Both have recently put in one hell of an effort of giving us possibly their best film to date in “Swamp Woman” from Gatorblade Films! May we introduce yinz too, Sean Donohue and Sushii Xhyvette Holder.
Tombs of the Blind Dead (Blu-ray) – It was time to revisit these slow moving blood thirsty Templars as most people know I am not a huge fan but every once in a while I like to go back and see if I feel the same way about a movie? Well it just so happened Synapse Films has just released a new two disc Blu-ray edition for fans of this Spanish horror film. It is well documented some horror fans consider this not just a classic but one of those “Top Ten” outside of the U.S. films you need to watch! Anyhow for those of you who may have not had the chance to witness the Spanish carnage it begins with a young lady jumping off a train and finding some very old buildings in the middle of nowhere? Hunkering down for the night she soon finds herself dying at the hands of ancient blind Templars who do not take too kindly to trespassers as the locals avoid this place like the plague. Her friends seek help of a professor and this leads them down a path of destruction as well as we learn these Templars started their own religion that had them sacrificing virgins and for this action the Templars were tortured to death. Good soundtrack, some gore, and a weird rape scene that awakens the dead Templars again for 1971 Spanish horror film I respect why there is certain horror movie fans that live and die with this film. For me it never quite hit me right as a horror fan (as I give it 2 ½ stars just my opinion and I do like it a little more than I originally did). But let’s talk about the goodies packed into this Blu-ray for yinz “Blind Dead” fans: Original Spanish language with English/Spanish soundtrack versions, U.S. theatrical version which is several minutes shorter and definitely has a different vibe to it, of course it is as cleaned up as its gonna get as Synapse have become experts bringing old films back to life, a few different commentaries, Salem’s Pop music video called “Templar’s Tears”, several interviews, but I think the gem in all of these goodies was something I never knew is the alternate U.S. opening scene “Revenge of Planet Ape” (so weird?), documentary, and a cool segment “Awakening of Spanish Horror” or a little history lesson we shall say. This Blu-ray package is a Blind Dead’s fan wet dream come true as I gotta give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars and you can pick it up at www.synapsefilms.com . P.S. there is a limited edition 3-disc version that includes slipcase (for that crowd), a tribute audio CD, and liner notes booklet.
Okay if this is true this one sucks out loud!!! I cannot even explain how much this dude meant to me. Yeah he is a celebrity and I usually do not even talk about them the way most do on social media. Hell examples: Roddy Piper, Terry Lofton, Rutger Hauer they are the only ones I have really gone out of my way to talk about. But like Terry Lofton, Jeff Burr was such a nice guy he let this crazy ass bastard into his life. We met, he loved my TCM3 tattoo, but more than anything he was just happy I wanted to talk to him about regular things. Besides me bugging him for Charles Band stories we talked about regular things including what is like in Hollywood and how he didn’t fit in or at least not feeling like he did? Jeff to me came off as one of “us”… A person, horror fan just trying to survive and do something he loved all his life and to listen to him telling me stories of TCM 3 and the two Puppet Master movies which were glorious. But the most impressive thing is this dude sent me a package of TCM 3 stuff awhile back and tried to keep in touch with me over the years through email and phone calls. Like Terry Lofton in my experience Jeff Burr was just a regular person and I already miss him. Jeff I love you my man thank you for everything and if I can be anything like you or Terry Lofton then I know I have accomplished something in my life. RIP Jeff Burr and thank you being on this earth!
(and yeah I am stealing that picture because it explains a lot if you know me)
Tenebrae (4K Ultra HD/Blu-ray) – I have reviewed this movie before a couple times so yinz already know what I have to say and most critics for that matter… It’s a film about an author named Peter Neal who is promoting his newest book in Italy. Meanwhile at the same time of Peter’s appearance a serial killer is making their mark by killing their victims in the same manner of Neal’s latest book? Neal’s booking agent (John Saxon) tries to keep Neal busy but as the letters after each murder show up to the police with no clues Neal decides he should investigate himself. By some chance you been living under a rock as a horror fan and haven’t been introduced to this project ‘Tenebrae’ it’s an Argento title that isn’t talked about as much as a ‘Suspiria’ or maybe a ‘Deep Red’ but is well worth investing your demented mind into as it mixes a couple horror elements into its formula. For my two cents you may hear horror fans talk more about the music score than the fun movie itself? Synapse Films and Argento are a perfect match for the Blu-ray/4K format as I feel Synapse takes great care and respect with not just the ridiculous restoration of the pictures but it feels they even found a way to squeeze in a few more extras in besides: the original Blu-ray that had dual English and Italian tracks, commentary by Maitland McDonagh, trailers from different countries, original U.S. end credits, alternate opening credits, and the interesting documentary ‘Yellow Fever: The Rise and Fall of Gallo’. There are a few archival interviews, couple more added commentaries, plus not just the 4K disc version but a Blu-ray with everything that makes me wanna give this complete release 3 ½ out of 4 stars. This is for sure one of those things Argento fans will want no matter what to complete their collection but for some newer horror fans that are just jumping head first into Italian horror this is a great entertaining introduction package into the world of Argento and physical media collecting, for more info or to order go to: www.synapse-films.com .
Beneath Us All (Vimeo) – A dramatic horror flick that takes a more traditional route that isn’t seen much these days to tell a scary tale. Over a thousand years ago a “human creature” is hunted and trapped in a coffin to be taken then buried in the ‘Americas’. Now present day we are introduced to a social worker Rebecca who is on the verge of burning out and a teenager named Julie who is about to age out of foster care. Both meet and a lot alike but their lives are going in a different direction as Julie must still deal with some shady ass foster parents and Rebecca is trying to learn to let go. After an incident with a bird who Julie and the other foster kids were trying to help back to good health Julie runs away into the woods. With a mysterious necklace in hand and unsure of why she didn’t come back right away Julie hears a low voice that eventually leads her to this human creature in a coffin. Since it is in Julie’s nature to help she leads the thing back to the farmhouse to nurse it back to health. Problem Julie is ill prepared what she has brought into her life? Low to modest budget, shady ass foster parents’ angle, more about story than gore sets the tone for this entertaining complicated vampire story telling. This is a solid horror film that will not hit all that view it the same but love the attempt of telling an intellectual vampire story that doesn’t follow today’s fast paced formula that leaves you forgetting what you watch shortly after. For that I urge yinz to give this horror film a chance as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
Cobweb (On Demand) – Peter is an eight year old boy who is just trying to do normal young boy stuff until he begins to hear voices from his bedroom wall. Peter begins to draw things in school and a teacher becomes concern and visits the parents. With some story building: teacher gets fired, parents are outrage and do the home schooling thing, Peter keeps hearing voices and now talks back to it in his bedroom, and the parents show their true colors. Now as the tension builds Peter decides the voice has his best interest and listens to what it wants him to do as Peter finds out he had a sister? A solid and creepy film with story building but lacks a good ending in the long run for me but easily see I was not the crowd this film was made for as much as the 16-25 crowd who do not watch nearly as many horror movies as I do. For that I give it 2 ½ stars but also will note I was surprised how much support it didn’t get during its brief theater run in the summer.
Last Shift (DVD) – This 2014 horror film deals in the paranormal of sorts as it is Officer Loren’s first night on the job by staying watch at a police station that is about to close down for good. She gets instruction from her boss before he leaves as it basically should be an easy night for her night. But being alone in a creepy old police station isn’t what it’s all cracked up to be as Officer Loren begins to hear strange noises in the building as she remember being told, “don’t go into the Holding area”. Officer Loren as the night proceeds has to deal with a homeless man as she sees things out of the corner of her eyes. Trying to get through the night that should have been uneventful that is where the story unfolds as Officer Loren’s father worked at the same station where a wannabe Manson family was brought in as everybody has their opinions of what actually happened? Is she dreaming, is it all bullshit, or is it a little of everything as she tries to show she can handle this job in this small scale but super effective paranormal horror film as I give it 3 ½ stars.
Malum (DVD) – So same director comes back to do a reboot of his 2014 film ‘Last Shift’ now in 2023. Without digging too much into that this time around you get a much bigger, bigger location, and more gory horror picture. Pretty much a lot of dialogue from the original film is there but this version dives more into the backstory of the father/daughter relationship and why she got here as an officer watching a now decommissioned police station. Don’t get me wrong this is still a solid film but this is very much a case of “bigger isn’t always better” when it comes to remakes/reboots. For me ‘Last Shift’ is an example of what I look for in a paranormal movie as I can be super picky where this lacked the heart and if this makes sense dumb it down a bit for audiences? If you have not watched neither or just watched this recent version I suggest watching ‘Last Shift’ as I believe it is the more scary and interesting of the two as I give this reboot 2 ½ stars.
The Abomination (Blu-ray) – Oh the bloody gory meat puppets in the kitchen cabinet are back in “Blu-ray” glory as some lunatic took the pain staking time to bring us Indy horror loons this rare gem of a film. For those who may not had the pleasure of watching this cult-like Indy film? It is about a woman coughing up a tumor and it hitches a ride with her son then lives under his bed for a bit! Cody is slowly possessed by this monstrosity and feeds on the bodies of friends he hides under his bed. Cody lives to feed this ugly gorefest of a monster! Considered a classic among Indy horror fans as the Bret McCormick film gets the all-star treatment with restoration, commentaries, lots of interviews, a comic book, and stickers that will have us old people remembering video stores and then get pissed they are all but a memory now. This is an affordable fun pick up for horror fans to add to their collection before the slipcase morons start eBaying it for a hundred dollars as I give this glorious Blu-ray 3 ½ stars.
Bloodthirst (Google) – A soon-to-be released film that will remind you the glory days of old school SyFy channel premieres before they became the “Harry Potter network”. Anyhow we have a post-apocalyptic world filled with factions of vampires and humans who are not doing themselves any favors as they war within their factions. John Shepard is a vampire hunter who is trying to restore order in this desolate world by killing one vampire at a time but also carries a secret. Meanwhile our main vamp baddy is played by Robert Lasardo or for at least this film bootleg George Eastman from ‘Anthropophagus’ who wants the world for himself. Lots of action and blood fill this story of vamps and humans trying to fuck each other over at every turn. But we get a little surprise of Tara Reid who plays the “vampire queen” who just embraces the role. An entertaining new post-apocalyptic 90 minute film that proves a loner and certain vamps could want order out of chaos knowing if not they all will go extinct. The locations are cool, the story is a little different from the usual post-apocalyptic fare, and the solid cast brings this film to life as I give it 3 stars. P.S. this has to be one of the cleaner post-apocalyptic films I have ever watched as I was expecting not just vamps but humans to be dirtier?
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Beneath Us All (Vimeo) – A dramatic horror flick that takes a more traditional route that isn’t seen much these days to tell a scary tale. Over a thousand years ago a “human creature” is hunted and trapped in a coffin to be taken then buried in the ‘Americas’. Now present day we are introduced to a social worker Rebecca who is on the verge of burning out and a teenager named Julie who is about to age out of foster care. Both meet and a lot alike but their lives are going in a different direction as Julie must still deal with some shady ass foster parents and Rebecca is trying to learn to let go. After an incident with a bird who Julie and the other foster kids were trying to help back to good health Julie runs away into the woods. With a mysterious necklace in hand and unsure of why she didn’t come back right away Julie hears a low voice that eventually leads her to this human creature in a coffin. Since it is in Julie’s nature to help she leads the thing back to the farmhouse to nurse it back to health. Problem Julie is ill prepared what she has brought into her life? Low to modest budget, shady ass foster parents’ angle, more about story than gore sets the tone for this entertaining complicated vampire story telling. This is a solid horror film that will not hit all that view it the same but love the attempt of telling an intellectual vampire story that doesn’t follow today’s fast paced formula that leaves you forgetting what you watch shortly after. For that I urge yinz to give this horror film a chance as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
Tenebrae (4K Ultra HD/Blu-ray) – I have reviewed this movie before a couple times so yinz already know what I have to say and most critics for that matter… It’s a film about an author named Peter Neal who is promoting his newest book in Italy. Meanwhile at the same time of Peter’s appearance a serial killer is making their mark by killing their victims in the same manner of Neal’s latest book? Neal’s booking agent (John Saxon) tries to keep Neal busy but as the letters after each murder show up to the police with no clues Neal decides he should investigate himself. By some chance you been living under a rock as a horror fan and haven’t been introduced to this project ‘Tenebrae’ it’s an Argento title that isn’t talked about as much as a ‘Suspiria’ or maybe a ‘Deep Red’ but is well worth investing your demented mind into as it mixes a couple horror elements into its formula. For my two cents you may hear horror fans talk more about the music score than the fun movie itself? Synapse Films and Argento are a perfect match for the Blu-ray/4K format as I feel Synapse takes great care and respect with not just the ridiculous restoration of the pictures but it feels they even found a way to squeeze in a few more extras in besides: the original Blu-ray that had dual English and Italian tracks, commentary by Maitland McDonagh, trailers from different countries, original U.S. end credits, alternate opening credits, and the interesting documentary ‘Yellow Fever: The Rise and Fall of Gallo’. There are a few archival interviews, couple more added commentaries, plus not just the 4K disc version but a Blu-ray with everything that makes me wanna give this complete release 3 ½ out of 4 stars. This is for sure one of those things Argento fans will want no matter what to complete their collection but for some newer horror fans that are just jumping head first into Italian horror this is a great entertaining introduction package into the world of Argento and physical media collecting, for more info or to order go to: www.synapse-films.com .
Zero Budget Heroes: The Legend of Chris Seaver and Low Budget Pictures (Tubi) – First off in case the collectors need to know there is physical copies of this out there available. Okay with that out of the way this documentary hits directly in my wheelhouse where I have met Chris a few times over the years and of course he may not remember me but I do remember our interaction. I bring this up because they do spend some time talking about fan interaction, reviews, etc. But mostly the doc focuses on a dude in his 40s now that had a dream of making bad movies as a kid and have fun doing it. This documentary does a superb job of chronicling all the films, events, Chris’ life and feelings about making the films he does. This was wonderful because it allowed an Indy filmmaker to be vulnerable and if anything made me have even more respect for him now than I did maybe a decade or so ago. He is a great example of someone who has done it for many years, kept with it, and talks the highs and lows of those who stick around. Again going back to our interaction I will always come out and say I wasn’t a fan of his ‘Teen Ape’ or a few others early 2000s stuff. ‘Ski Wolf’, ‘Terror at Blood Fart Lake’, ‘I Spit Chew on Your Grave’, ‘Sexsquatch’, these were titles that just sang to me or made me respect what Chris was going for? The other reason I enjoy the overall career Chris: a) he is still doing it, b) but most importantly there is filmmakers out that can’t smell their own shit that outright dislike him, for that I got made respect Chris Seaver and his group as I give this fun and relevant doc 4 stars.
A Night of Horror Nightmare Radio (DVD) – This was one of those anthologies: damn if you do, damn if you don’t kind of things. The wrap around is Rod a radio host who tells scary supernatural stories while also asking callers to chime in with their own stories on the air. There is eight stories overall but the highlights for me was the third story ‘The Disappearance of William Bingham’ about if an inmate’s crimes have affected a family they can chose to have limbs or body parts surgically removed instead of death? And the sixth story ‘Into the Mud’ where a hunter finds a female creature out in the woods. None of the stories are terrible but feel like the stories could have been rearranged for a better flow and the wrap around wasn’t popping off the screen. But by no means this anthology should be shunned as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Possessor (DVD) – Finally got around to checking out the younger Cronenberg’s creation since I already dove into ‘Infinity Pool’ not too long ago. I know I am weird and do not do things in order but imagine a secret agency has the capability to use an assassin by brain implant technology to commit high priced assassinations? Let that sink in for a minute because it doesn’t sound that freakin far off these days. The story follows a woman who is very good at her job but the latest person she has jumped into is having side effects as there is a whole process to enter someone’s mind and she might not be able to be separated. This film follows her madness as she tries to reclaim what she was… kind of? Or imagine this was a true sequel to his father’s work ‘Scanners’? It is in the same world but the Scanners aka Michael Ironside at the end of the original has died off or gone completely underground? Now forty years later and the government through many experiments have perfected the “Scanner” in sense of the word… Yeah think about that as I give this film 3 stars.
Nightmare Cinema (DVD) – A horror anthology that has made its rounds through a limited theater run, DVD, and even a staple on Shudder. Mick Garris, Joe Dante, and Alejandro Brugues go out of their way to give a wacky, over the top, gory and yet entertaining anthology. The film centers on a few characters that enter a theater with their name on the marquee and view themselves in their own movie. Now the two hour viewing time can wear down some viewers and the last segment feels very tacked on and maybe should have been the opener but overall another solid anthology for horror fans to enjoy as I give it 3 stars.
Lobster Man from Mars (DVD/YouTube) – A talented movie producer owes the government a lot of back taxes as he needs a bad movie to write off as a tax loss. In comes unknown filmmaker Stevie Horowitz with his just finished film ‘Lobster Man from Mars’. The producer agrees to view it because he needs something terrible to get the government off his back. Stevie’s film focuses on the king of Mars needing air so he sends in the killer lobster to steal Earth’s air and maybe have a snack or two along the way. A sweet unsuspecting couple sees the UFO crash land and they proceed to go check it out. The lobster man uses this couple to jump into the trunk of their car and hitch a ride into a small town where it begins a reign of terror! Between this out of this world creature, the Army, and their uncle they find themselves entangled in a mess that can be only solved with the killing of Lobster Man! This entertaining film has a few laughs and a cast (Deborah Foreman, Dr. Demento, Antony Hickox, and Tony Curtis) that will make you wanna seek this one out as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Murdercise (Tubi) – A great casted 80s themed killer workout nostalgia going down here that opens up with a woman in the shower scene of course without smudging her make-up. But the real story revolves around Phoebe who is in a new workout video that happens to also star a bunch of horned up, drug addicted, fast food eating, self-important sort of actresses. Disappointed and just trying to be a professional Phoebe soon finds herself in a bit of trouble when she kills the lead Candy by accident sort of? As Phoebe gets help to hide Candy she continues to get upset when in charge she kills off other cast members of the workout video but there is a fun twist as Phoebe learns it isn’t easy running a quick sleazy production of a workout video. Again the cast was awesome and Drew Marvick’s quick workout scene for a chance to be in the video would have gone on any longer than it did it would have overshadowed how entertaining this project really is? Thank yinz for keeping this small but entertaining 80s killer workout genre alive as I give it 3 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
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