Gross Movie Reviews #598


Jaws of Satan (Blu-ray) – So I was checking out this out of print 2-pack Blu-ray that has “Jaws of Satan/Empire of the Ants” with no real extras and pretty much is the latest but out of print physical media of this flick that is available? Anyway, after a train stops suddenly in a small town several snake attacks happen that just happen to be led by a King Cobra who might be Satan himself! This cobra is tracking a priest who might not believe as much as some of his brothers until this snake along with others come looking for him so there can be an ultimate fight between good and evil. This killer snake movie is still some cheesy fun that I give 3 stars too but look out for the overpriced Blu-ray as it isn’t worth what the eBay people want?

Mercenaries (DVD) – A Hong Kong Shaw Brothers flick that isn’t as available as some Shaw Brothers flicks on YouTube has a bad ass dude Mr. Lou Li approached by a gorgeous rich woman who needs him to travel to Cambodia to kidnap an assassin? Lou Li is given permission to put together a small team and each can make a substantial amount of money if they are able to retrieve an audio tape that is being used for blackmail. Imagine a cool Hong Kong version of “The Expendables” who accomplish their mission but things go from a little bad to a whole lot worse when they all get screwed over! A super fun and crazy action flick well worth seeking out if you haven’t had the chance to witness bad ass flick as I give it 3 stars.

The Skid Kid (DVD-R/YouTube) – A WTF lost low budget film from 1991 that has a familiar face or two about a masked superhero who happens to be a high school kid (Scooter Spielberg) with special boots and skids along the road on his ass. These boots are so special that the FBI is looking into getting the boots off of the kid for the government. But meanwhile the kid is just trying to clean up his community of crime. And by the way folks his boots run on soda and not that cheap shit either… I dare you to not laugh and enjoy this cornball movie that if nothing else is entertaining and give 2 ½ stars too.

Queen of Blood (DVD) – A mid 60s film that is set in 1990 and stars Basil Rathbone, Dennis Hopper, and John Saxon where earthlings receive a distress call from an alien ship on Mars. So being 1990 in all they jump into a ship to go see if they can help their new friends? Friends this alien is not as a beautiful green alien is found and brought aboard the ship for the astronauts to bring back to good health and have her meet the good scientists that started this mess. Once awake on the ship the beauty wastes no time to lure men in with her beauty and suck them dry of their blood. Sounds like a crude version of “Lifeforce” kids but no matter how old this feature is its still worth checking out this B-movie as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Rana: The Legend of Shadow Lake (YouTube) – This somewhat hard to find 1980 film is sometimes known as “Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell” where a man named Kelly tells a horrible story of a frog monster one summer when he was 11 years old. A researcher comes by Kelly and his father to investigate the lake they live on where a fossil unlike anything before was found. But there has always been a story of something living near or in the lake that is half man/half monster and was looked upon as a god. The film takes a while to get going but has a wonderful pay off when the cheesy monster goes on a rampage as I give the film 2 stars.

Cocaine Bear (Theater) – The ‘Sharknado’ film of 2023 for us film nerds as this film is very loosely based on drugs found in the mountains of Kentucky and Georgia 1985. A black bear just happens to find the bags of cocaine and likes it! Now add in a couple of drug dealers looking for their stuff, a couple missing kids, a not so smart cop, and a bear high on cocaine looking to slaughter any human that gets in the way of it and its new thing “Cocaine”. This movie was beyond entertaining and most likely will make a lot people’s “Top Ten lists” as they made sure every five minutes the bear is snorting or eating cocaine or characters are talking about the bear on cocaine as I give this brilliance 4 stars.

Crocodylus (DVD) – A no budget film about a small town having a killer croc problem even though several times throughout the film characters saying, “killer gator”… It was making no sense but anyway after a few bodies have been mutilated the cops finally take interest in these possible animal attacks. Doesn’t take much longer for others to take notice and explain how it is a professor’s experiment that has gotten out in the wild. The movie was mostly dull and couldn’t believe there wasn’t one person on set to even remotely try to add energy to this poor excuse for a killer animal movie as I give it 0 stars.

Remnants (Plex) – An Indy filmmaker Mark Byrne tries to take a stab at the recently bloated genre of paranormal and tries to bring something to it? A rich dude bank rolls a group of paranormal experts to research and help clear “remnants” of souls good or bad haunting people or structures. While just trying to help a lost soul of a killer clown happens to find an opening into the real world and restart his rampage of murder. Now the paranormal flick might not be my cup of tea but I gotta give kudos to Mr. Byrne trying to spice up the independent paranormal genre with a different take as I give the film 2 out of 4 stars.

Scream of the Blind Dead (Full Moon/Tubi) – This 40 minute short film based on “The Blind Dead” series is just proof that Chris Alexander needs to stop directing and go back to his day job. This poor excuse for a short ‘fan film’ is about a young lady named Virginia who checks out a church in the middle of nowhere because she is a sexual deviant that thinks nasty thoughts and only awakens one shitty Templar Knight. I apologize this sounds harsh but I know this dude has the resources and I am still not over how bad that ‘Necropolis: Legion’ was as I give this garbage 0 stars as this might be the clear cut winner already in 2023 of “Worst Movie of the Year”!

Invaders from Mars (DVD) – This 1953 drive-in classic have a kid witnessing a flying saucer landing in his backyard during a stormy night. David’s father George goes out to investigate to only fall into a hole and disappear mysteriously. David frightened until his father comes home and begins to act different and has a strange cut on his neck that reignites David’s fear. David fears it is no longer his father, but an alien clone or possession of sorts as townsfolk are slowly taken over. Luckily for David a nurse at the local police station believes something isn’t right and they head over to an army base where David is finally taken seriously about aliens invading. It is up to the Army to stop these invaders from sabotaging shit around town but the kicker of the whole thing is: Did David dream it all up or did something else happen? Still a wonderful flick to show movie people who are looking to dip their toe into the sci-fi/horror genre as I give the film 3 stars.

Any comments please send to or .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to and support!

We got lazy again but we just posted a new episode of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks!





This week no special guest but Kyle and Tim bring you a quality show as only we know how.  We talk about Tobe Hooper’s Invaders from Mars remake, and John Saxon and Burt Young in Blood Beach.  Along the way Kyle professes his love for Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and his dislike of Terminator 2: Judgement day.  Tim watches Cheerleader Camp and a ton of other stuff.  And we debut a new segment…CAN YOU DIG IT!!!

Gross Movie Reviews #314


Gross Movie Reviews #314


By Tim Gross


Cheerleader Camp (DVD) – A 1988 slasher that got past me during my teenage years and once I found out about the film I made it a point to track it down and review the slasher flick. And after many years the horror film did not disappoint me as I enjoyed its gory cheese the whole way. The film sports a great cast for a slasher film in Leif Garrett, George “Buck” Flower, Betsy Russell, the amazing looking Lucinda Dickey (the Breakin’ films), and a before porn and absolutely beautiful Teri Weigel! The film follows a group of cheerleaders that leave for the wilderness to train and win the Cheerleader championship… Sounds fun for all until Allison keeps having bad dreams and her boyfriend Leif Garrett keeps trying to bang other women, then next thing you know someone gets a bear trap to the face and another gets hedge clippers to the face. Blood, boobs, and more blood make this slasher film worth revisiting again as I give it 3 stars and may boast the funniest mascot eating lunch scene ever? Apparently depending what country the film was released it could be found as “Bloody Poms Poms” on VHS and DVD.

CM 2

Circuitry Man 2: Plughead Rewired (VHS) – Vernon Wells stars as Plughead in this futuristic film where most humans live underground and the government has Plughead to experiment on until he makes a deal with a scientist (Traci Lords) to help her have a baby. After helping Plughead escaped he is back in business and rewiring humans in order for them to extend their life by ten years and it is up to the Romeo droid again to stop him. George “Buck” Flower and Nicolas Worth round out this great low budget 90s sci-fi flick. Vernon Wells always makes movies better and this no different as I give the flick 3 stars.


Sorority Girls and the Creature from Hell (VHS) – This beyond low budget sci-fi film from 1990 has an archeologist stumbling upon an ancient relic in a mountain that just happens to possess him and search for blood. Meanwhile his niece, daughter, can’t remember goes with friends to his cabin to fuck around until they are massacred quite quickly. I give the flick 2 stars.


Invaders from Mars (DVD) – A mid-80s Tobe Hooper flick that I always get mixed up with 1983s “Strange Invaders”. This flick plays out more like a very creepy episode of “Goosebumps” with wicked ass alien creatures. But anyway one night during a stormy night aliens land at Copper Hill, a small California town where they begin to take over humans and consume copper. Soon most of the town is taken over except for a kid and he gets the school nurse (Karen Black) to believe him and try to help get the army to stop it before it’s too late. The kid is played by Hunter Carson who just happened to be the original Bud Bundy but was let go after the pilot when Ed O’Neal felt like he just wasn’t right for the part. Plus we get a quick Conehead impression from Lorraine Newman (pay attention at the end of the film), James Karen playing an army general, and the legendary Phil Fondacaro is uncredited with playing one of the alien creatures. A cool and creepy classic sci-fi/horror film for many who grew up during the 80s. I give the film 3 stars.


Girls Nite Out (DVD) – A 1982 slasher film starring Hal Holbrook that looks more like it was made in 1977. It’s ‘Hell Week’ at college and the new pledges are told of the legendary Dickey Cavanagh who couldn’t take the break up with his girlfriend real well and killed her. Security guard Hal Holbrook makes a phone call to the asylum only to find out Dickey killed himself two days ago when these killings started. This may be the best bear suited slasher film to date as I give it 2 ½ stars.


Kiss in Attack of the Phantoms (DVD) – The made for TV movie was also known as “Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park” but in 1978 was beyond the imagination of Kiss fans as they could not get enough of Kiss. But the film also marks the beginning of the end for the legendary rock band or at least the original members as fights broke out behind the scenes. The film may be more notorious for its behind the scenes action than what was actually being filmed for the NBC movie of the week? The film had problems from the beginning as Kiss having such a heavy touring schedule at the time was not able to write new songs for the film or even be able to reshoot some scenes that were unusable and eventually some dubbing was done. Plus there was pointing of fingers of drug use, rewrites, etc. But after it was finished all four members refuse to acknowledge the bad film. Basic plot is Kiss comes to play a couple concerts at an amusement park but ends up getting entangled in a fight with an evil scientist that wants to destroy Kiss. The film was based on their comic book characters which also explain how big the band was at the time. The film is completely retarded and doesn’t make much sense but will always give me the memory of my mom looking for the VHS tape for almost a full decade during the 80s so she could give it to my brother for his birthday one year. Too much time has passed for me to remember why it was so hard to find but it always makes for a great memory when watching Peter Criss flipping around, Gene Simmons roaring like a lion for no reason, Paul sporting the hairy chest, and Ace karate kicking weird ass cat people next to a roller coaster! I may only give the movie 1 star but I will always have that memory.


The Retaliator (VHS) – The very underrated actor Robert Ginty aka ‘The Exterminator’ is pissed that he captures a American woman (Sandahl Bergman) who is helping terrorists while his team was there to rescue two kids. When Ginty’s character tries to find out more about her he learns she went brain dead so the CIA decides to experiment on her and turn her into a weapon aka “Eve of Destruction”. But soon she gains some memories after killing her target and decides she needs more targets. Great low budget action stuff that will make you forget the Gregory Hines film. I give the flick 3 stars and can be also found under the title “Programmed to Kill”.

Any comments or questions please send to:, or . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed film project from Daniel Boyd and I called, “Jagoff Massacre” at . There is a sequel in the works…

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go for details.