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Gross Movie Reviews #549

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Gross Movie Reviews #549

The Taking of Beverly Hills (DVD) – An early 90s action film that comes off as a ‘Die Hard’ rip-off that I do not remember ever hearing this hitting theaters as much as when it hit VHS. Boomer is a football player hanging out at Beverly Hills trying to pick up a date until a chemical spill happens causing the town to be evacuated or at least that is what the Beverly Hills Police Department says. See the police department is tired of putting up with rich people so they come up with this elaborate plan of a chemical spill that not many would question but would get people evacuated. Once that happens they go from home to home stealing everything and everyone in the police department is in on the take except one guy who decides to help the star football player Boomer to stop everything before the National Guard gets there! The film has wall to wall action, great cast, if you never heard of this give it a chance if you are a ‘Die Hard’ fan as it is lots of fun as I give it 3 stars.

War of the Gargantuas (DVD) – If you are over the age of 40 there is a good chance you were introduced to this flick early in life by a horror host in your town late one night on TV. After a thing attacks a boat out sea near Japan scientists are baffled at what monster could do something like this? A young American scientist who works in Japan supposedly had large gargantuan years ago that got loose and never found. Is it the same one? Why has it appeared now? While the scientists go to the woods to investigate the military blasts away without listening to reason as the scientists try to figure out if the two monsters are related or separate incidents. In the end it is good monster vs. bad monster in this corny throwback as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Superforce (DVD) – A futuristic TV film from 1990 that was set in 2020 and got turned into a TV series for two full seasons. The film follows famous astronaut Zach Stone who comes home after a two year mission to find his brother has been killed. Supposedly his brother was the only good cop left on the force. Anyway Zach wants answers so he joins the police academy so when he graduates he can ask to be place in his brother’s old areas. Soon Zach gets involved with Hungerford Industries who help Zach get fitted in an experimental space suit that gives him extra strength and a motorcycle to chase down criminals. Well one young scientist and a dead guy help Zach become the new space age hero. The film had a solid cast but I couldn’t believe that there was a TV series based on this as it was filmed in Universal Studios, Florida. I give it a 1 ½ stars because it seem like they were having a tough time just to fill out a TV film let alone a TV series?

CarousHell the 2nd (DVD) – Independent filmmaker Steve Rudzinski gave us crazy Indy horror fans ‘House of 1000 Corpses’ with his first entry ‘CarousHell’, five years later Steve figured out a way with the sequel to give us ‘The Devil’s Rejects’. And if yinz get that reference then you know you are in for one hell of a ride with this project. Our famous killer carousel unicorn Duke, is back and it begins with Nazis as Duke has just found out he has a son he nothing about. Duke learns about Robbie and tries to make amends but Duke’s past catches up with him as the Third Reich is still pissed their experiment is running free in America. These immortal Nazis want revenge against their former Alpha Solider and will stop at nothing to get their revenge even if it means kidnapping Duke’s hybrid son. Now if you just tuned into this review wondering what the hell you are reading well ‘CarousHell’ and its sequel are the ultimate weirdo horror films that really cannot be classified as anything else but “weird” and that is what makes it wonderful! This sequel reminds me of the spirit of the ‘Basket Case’ sequels where Steve is giving you the viewer something completely unexpected or at least me? Yes, there is still a carousel horse sex scene, some fine gore spots, absolutely wonderful acting from Aleen Isley, Terrence Cover, Rebecca Reinhart, and Joshua Anton just to name a few actors with perfect performances that had me laughing and entertained from beginning to end! This latest creation from Mr. Rudzinski would not surprise me at all to propel his career or at least a few phone calls from Hollywood as I give the film 4 out of 4 stars and you will be seeing it in my “Top 5 movies 2021” for sure! All I ask Steve remember us little people… and send beer! Now congrats on one fucking awesome movie!

Cosmos: War of the Planets (DVD) – In 1977 somebody got bored and found bootleg Billy Zane’s father as Captain Hamilton and made a crude episode of ‘Star Trek’. Hamilton and crew are forced to investigate signals on the outer edge of the solar system only to find an evil robot that can’t move who has slaves that are telepathic and they live in a cave. Sounds fun but was cornier than anything and wouldn’t surprise me this has been referenced on MST3Kway too many times over the years as I give it 2 stars.

The Attic (DVD) – A creepy slow burn film that most likely collected a lot of dust on the VHS shelves of the old video stores? A shy Librarian who has been forced to take care of her wheelchair bound father for years now. To make Louise a little more frustrated is her husband to be still hasn’t shown up after 19 years and taking her own life might not be a bad option. Trying to compensate with her midlife crisis she buys a monkey, gives a bunch of money to the only friend she has, and tries to take a trip with the monkey. But as certain things come to light in Louise’s life and does concern if she was completely crazy from the beginning of the film. Interesting for the mere fact of how they end this slow burn as I believe you will find very satisfying or absolutely hate the ending as I give it 2 stars.

Massacre Academy (Blu-ray) – A film set in the year 1987 at Orrstown State University where Kris the college student survived a horrible ordeal of Henry Lee Palmer or the “Killer Clown Face Killer” killing 15 on campus as Kris was a freshman. It’s been two years since the horrible event but Kris is finding it hard to get past as she has nightmares nightly especially now her younger sister is going to the same college and pledging for a sorority that may not have the best intentions. The film doesn’t waste too much time having the killer grab the clown mask and getting back to finishing what he started two years earlier. But is it a copycat or did Henry Lee Palmer somehow survive? Some good gore shots, I thought the casting of all involved was solid, and the pacing doesn’t get bogged down to give a solid retro slasher feel as I give it 3 stars. For fans of the film if you are looking for a goof check out the cop car the characters are in about the 47 minute mark as that Ford vehicle didn’t exist in 1987.    

The Manson Brothers Midnight Zombie Massacre (On Demand) – Well I gotta say this was an unexpected fun horror gem about a wrestling tag team in New Mexico wrestling called “The Manson Brothers”. This rugged tag team has been around for three decades now and knows all the ins and outs of independent wrestling feds. After a well-received tag match they are offered a big money cage match at midnight on Halloween. Of course they say yes but that is only part of the story as things get weird as some of the wrestlers have been taking some of the Chinese HGH to stay big for the ring. Now to complicate the issue with wrestlers taking the HGH and causing a zombie issue, there is a horrible hurricane that has locked down everything! So The Manson Brothers must fight their way through a horde of flesh eaters inside the wrestling building and forget about the main event. The movie has lots of great zombie gore gags, wonderful story telling (someone knows some of the behind the scenes stuff of wrestling), and the supporting cast in D.B. Sweeny, Mindy Robinson, and Randy Couture make this an unexpected horror gem and would love to see a sequel if it is done with the same spirit and passion this project was as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !  

In a couple of weeks events where you can find Drunken Yinzers Productions!

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September 25th an event we have never done before in West Virginia…

Then the week after… October 1-3rd we are back at Cinema Wasteland and our latest film Blood Freak will be playing at 6:30, October 2nd Saturday evening.

Go to ww.cinemawasteland.com for guests, movies, and more details.

Then October 8th our screening of Jagoff Massacre at Willow Station bar/restaurant in Castle Shannon, Pa.

Go to this facebook page for more details: https://www.facebook.com/events/345141160641950/?active_tab=discussion

or

You can go to the Willow Station facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/3841WillowStation

Screening of Jagoff Massacre begins at 7:30 but before we get started with the short film Hexercise!

Check out the nerdy movie podcast that no one listens too…

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This week we talk about the year that was 1983.  We were there… we remember it… and we will recall what we think of it. From Superman to Valley Girls.  To Medieval space ninja stars to mountains and mountains of cocaine.  And all the things in between,   We also chat on this episodes about the great Fred Olen Ray, Frogs that are able to hold their pee for 8 months, And so on…  We also have all the normal show topics, we answer your questions and read the news.  So download this episode or Gus Grissom may or may not hack your computer.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

New episode of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks is up!

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This week on the show we might have legitimately made 3 bad picks for the show this week, but we will see.  First we cover a sequel when John picks REDWOOD MASSACRE: ANNIHILATION.  Tim picks an independent slasher flick called DEATH RINK.  And lastly we cover a movie that has been recommended to Kyle numerous times in THE NINTH CONFIGURATION.  Also we chat about things suck as the season finale of The Last Drive in with Joe Bob Briggs.  The best fish rape exploitation greatness that is Humanoids from the Deep. Kyle loses 2 external hard drives full of movies, the mystery of Jimmy Hoffa, and a ton more.  We also read the news and answer your questions.  So download this episode or Ty Cobb will not play on your local softball team.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Drunken Yinzers Productions return to the conventions

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Drunken Yinzers Productions returns to the conventions… The fat drunken bastards even have a banner now! We will have our latest feature Blood Freak! Along with copies of Jagoff Massacre, my three new books (that includes the infamous ‘Massacre’ book), some unknown/OOP movies you never heard of but wanna buy anyhow, we will have our one dollar DVD box again, new beer cozies (a couple new ones), and some other Halloween crafty things! So come join us and other cool vendors for this one day event as it will be a fun time as usual. For more details: www.cinemawasteland.com

Bloodbaths and Boomsticks have their Blaxploitation episode up!

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This week Tim is on vacation so we called upon the only man who can solve all of our current race related problems T-SHIRT JOE!  So firstly on Blaxploitation week John brings us SOUL BROTHERS OF KUNG FU, And Then Joe talks about a Bernie Casey jam called DR. BLACK AND MR. HYDE.  And finally Kyle cools us out and chats about a tale of a racist white man played by genre staple WILLIAM SMITH trying to push drugs into a clean neighborhood in BLACK SAMSON.  Along the way we talk about all the old time comedy duos we can’t stand, what is with all the recent anti-Asian hatred,  Why Kyle now hates THE OUTSIDERS (except Estevez,  that dude is harsh),  We also cover all the news, Answer all your listener questions, and cover what we have been watching the last week.  So download this episode or Bernie Casey won’t cure your bad case of Hepatitis at his Health clinic/thrift store.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Another Bloodbaths and Boomsticks episode is up!

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This week we have a “diet Tim” episode as his mom has banged up her ankle, but don’t worry he shows up later to talk about his and John’s continued journey to watch all the Witchcraft movies.  But as usual we will be covering 3 more great flicks.  First Kyle talks about a wild, wild, kung fu monster mash as it’s robots vs. monsters in INFRA-MAN.  Then Tim talks about a very popular slasher in THE MULIATOR.  And finally John picked a really good taxi cab revenge flick starring Robert Forrester and the very greasy Joe Spinell in WALKING THE EDGE.  Also we chat about the continued shittiness of Charles Band, the greatness that is the Creepshow T.V. series, the recent episode of Joe Bob.  And as always we read all the news, answer your questions and cover what we have been watching recently.  So download this episode or we will shove a giant fish hook into your nether regions.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

John Shatzer and I have a conversation about Charles Band’s career…

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Episode 5: Charles Band discussion with Tim Gross

This is the first of another two parter. In this episode we cover Band’s early career and his founding and running into the ground of his first studio Empire pictures. We also chat briefly about Wizard Video days. People seem to forget that he was early on in the VHS craze of the late seventies and early eighties. The picture is Tim and I at Cinema Wasteland… remember conventions? Hell remember seeing people’s faces? Well for me the mask thing might be working.

http://www.crappymoviereviews.com/2021/02/conversations-with-john.html?fbclid=IwAR3zzFOiqg1nNKPE5JH5fGitWjf5hFfCyQ5hfd8BLaO1054IS4GLF_ovNBE

http://www.crappymoviereviews.com/

Bloodbaths and Boomsticks drops two new episodes!

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On this episode we bring back 3 more movies from the grave to talk about as we do every week.  And this week its SPOOFS week.  First we chat about The Hanson Bros. vs. an undead sailor Richard Kiel in HYSTERCIAL from 1983.  Then we give Jim Wynorski a shot in his epic TRANSYLVANIA TWIST.  And finally Tim talks about the sequel SATURDAY THE 14th STRIKES BACK.  We also cover getting out COVID 19 vaccines and the aftermath; Tim is still watching “massacre” flicks, the director’s cut of Commando.  And we also ramble on about what we have been watching, the news that was, and we answer all your listener questions.  So download this episode or Bill Duke will stab you with a table leg.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we return to settle an argument we had a few shows back… or maybe we return just to have a list show… who knows?  But we do have a special guest host PATRICIA.  The lovely lady who runs our letterboxed and instagram account. And we will all be recounting our favorite slasher flicks of all time.  This episode is a doozy and was great fun to participate in.  So check it out if you love masked killers, doomsayers, summer camps, machetes, dismemberment, Larry Drake, and of course boobs.  We also do the normal thing of answering all your listener questions.  Run down what we have been watching the past week, and all that jazz.  So download this episode or else Christian Bale will mock your lackluster business cards.   

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #531

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Gross Movie Reviews #531

 

The Bubble (DVD/YouTube) – A 1966 film that some people may know as ‘Fantastic Invasion of Planet Earth’ and at the time of its release was called ‘The Zoo 3-D’ in some territories. A happily young married couple with their first child on the way jump into a charter plane that gets hit by a strange storm. The couple and pilot are able to land safely but find themselves in a strange small town where all the residents seem zombified or controlled? All three being completely weirded out decide it is a movie lot of some kind to explain away the oddness. But when they track down a vehicle and drive out of there they find a glass wall keeping them in. Now all three don’t know if it’s real or they have just gone crazy from the beginning? Things get a good weird from there as the three spend weeks including having the baby on trying to figure out a way out and why everyone is zombified. An excellent weird watch that I am surprised hasn’t shown up on some of the horror host shows as it seems like it would be PG rated… Anyway I give this oddity 3 stars.

 

Hysterical (DVD) – Another horror spoof from the early 80s that I only heard of but didn’t know it really existed. This one consists of a big time author from New York who gets away from it all to actually write his masterpiece and what better place than Hellview, Oregon. A quiet small place that has a haunted lighthouse where of course the author enjoys but ignores the warnings. When Captain Howdy’s corpse appears two professors are brought in to discover why? But it’s been a hundred years since he, his mistress, and wife died during a storm and its time cause chaos! Oh by the way the whole town is being turned into zombies while this is all going on. There are quite a few subtle laughs in this one as this might not be as over the top as some of the spoofs can be as I give this 3 stars.

 

Transylvania Twist (DVD/YouTube) – A horror spoof from 1989 that centers on a man named Dexter Ward who travels to L.A. to retrieve info on a book for his uncle who has returned from the dead to work again in the Arkham Library. But Dexter finds himself wrapped up in something else when he and a beautiful actress named Marissa are invited to Transylvania because of her father dying. Eventually Van Helsing joins the show and escorts the couple to Castle Orlock as there is a vampire (Robert Vaughn) waiting for their arrival. If this vamp gets his claws on the Book of Ulthar it could spell doom for all humans. A hilarious spoof on the Dracula story using footage of ‘The Terror’ and Boris Karloff throughout, also you will not forget the hilarious beginning of the film poking fun at Freddy, Jason, Leatherface, and Michael Myers. The biggest payoff which I totally forgot and worth a rewatch just because is Angus Scrimm as the vamp’s butler and yes you get a wonderful ‘Phantasm’ spoof! The film is lots of fun when jokes are going but does have a few dull spots that has not aged well since its initial release but I still give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Saturday the 14th Strikes Back (DVD/YouTube) – The 1988 unexpected sequel disconnects from the original story and goes a little different where a family has just inherited a home and instead of the “Book of Evil” their new home was built on a crack in the earth that holds all the monsters from the underworld. This where Eddie Baxter who was about to have the best summer ever because he turns 16 instead is forced to save the world. This crack causes some weird things like a vampire hanging out in his bedroom grooming him for the monsters arrival. But Ray Walston as fake grandpa is there to protect Eddie and help lead him in stopping the monster invasion. The first half of the horror spoof is hilarious and goes great but by the end I was just waiting for the film to end as it loses steam and I give it 2 stars.

 

Paintball Massacre (DVD) – Some old school friends get together for a reunion and a morning of paintball games. Not the greatest idea for all but they do it anyway and all goes well for some time until one team is completely slaughtered and now the school friends are being stalked and shot at by a paintball masked maniac. The film has some fun gory parts and a character you will enjoy hating or root for (you’ll understand) but the ending falls flat and felt they may never had a true ending written to begin with as I give it 1 ½ stars.

People to Kill (DVD) – Apparently this was Adam S. Clevenger’s first effort out as he wrote and directed this interesting thriller. Shawn and two brothers still live and hang with their father as their mother died five years ago after reading about the “Lullaby Killer”. The family still trying to move on has their usual squabbles and Shawn gets a lot of the blame from his father. Shawn runs a Star Trek themed store called “Starbase”. This makes for some hilarious scenes with the customers and Shawn’s father while Shawn runs for coffee. Along the way he helps out the local hooker (Erin R. Ryan) who has an issue with her pimp. Shawn felt the need to step in as he has seen her every day for the past few months hanging out near his store. They quickly strike up a friendship and things get very complicated as that is about all I can say as a major twist happens. I didn’t exactly see this twist coming maybe you will but either way this film is an absolute gem of an independent feature. Mr. Clevenger wrote an excellent script, and casted an excellent group of actors that should be applauded for pulling off a great performance. Erin R. Ryan is always a wonderful presence on screen but all involved were equally great. There was only one thing bad that I could say about the film and that is the length (2 hours and 14 minutes). Now most cases there isn’t enough story to fill 70, 80, or even 90 minutes but this surprisingly had it but felt the 20 minute strip club could have been cut down. I totally understand why it wasn’t edited because there is some important dialogue that happens but felt at some point Adam could have moved on. If this was Adam’s first effort out then count me in for the future as I can see some entertaining stuff coming this dude as I give this must have film 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Good chance this shows up on my “Best of 2021 watched list”.

Devil Story (DVD) – This mid-80s film has a Nazi zombie roaming the French countryside stabbing people while a random mummy decides it is time to appear and terrorize all others. Zombie dude to me looks like movies in the late 60s and early 70s wanted you to think biker extras looked like? If that doesn’t make much sense just wait there is more as an old dude just keeps shooting a pump shotgun into the random countryside for the second half of the movie. The movie doesn’t make a lick of sense but I found it extremely entertaining as this must be watched in your next outdoor group setting as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Thing that Couldn’t Die (DVD) – A rando drive-in flick from the late 50s where a young woman has psychic powers and happens to disturb an evil beheaded pirate that has been buried for a few hundred years. Now that he is found she is the key for his head being reattached to his buried body. Yes it is stupid but doesn’t stop it from being entertaining 60 some odd years later as I give it 2 stars.

 

Bad Blood The Movie (DVD) – A recent low budget affair where a college girl name Victoria has taken a break from college to the dismay of her father who believes she is on “the drugs”. Victoria just trying to get away from it all for a night with her best friend is attacked at a gas station when they stop to get gas by a large amphibious creature. Victoria survives but is taken in by the gas station attendee. More on that in a little bit as you hear reports of a crazed man (Dr. Mark Beltran) has escaped custody with incredible strength. Victoria wakes up and it is explained to her she is now a part of some weird amphibious/werewolf experiment that went too far and the attendee is working on a cure with experimenting on frogs. To complicate things a private detective who is losing his mind and works for Victoria’s family screws up the cure and finds himself in a predicament! Weird as hell, some gore, awesome creature as I give this bad boy or girl 3 stars!

 

Darlin’ (DVD) – Ketchum’s trilogy moves on with the cannibal people as a feral teenage girl is pushed out of the woods to a hospital. The hospital unsure what to do with her as she has no injuries, cleans her up, try to communicate with her and send her to the Lord’s house for girls. There a nun/sister named Jennifer tries to take care of her, teach her, explain god, and get her to interact with the other girls that reside there. Problem an older cannibal sister is sniffing around for her sister because we come to find out (Darlin) the younger sibling is pregnant and this stirs up priest diddling! Most not the strongest of the trilogy but has a wonderful ending as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

You can now purchase copies of Jagoff Massacre and our new feature Blood Freak DVDs online that I co-directed with Dan Boyd at https://drunkenyinzersproductions.company.site/ !