Gross Movie Reviews #594

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Girlhouse (DVD) – This not talked about much horror flick came out around 2014 or 2015 and has their story beginning in 1988 with a couple of kids and a very cruel incident. Kylie a college student who enjoys using her webcam for extra cash gets accepted for a bigger online sex cam company that has a secure mansion (the Girlhouse) in the hills where several girls live and work. It’s Only Fans without calling it that but you get that impression from the get go. Kylie sees this as an opportunity to get the extra cash that is needed to finish college and get out. The movie doesn’t sound like much until you sit and actually watch it has the girls have a slight run-in with a customer what seems no different than what they have several times a year. The mansion is secure, hidden location, security guard, cameras, etc. But this goes out the window when a smarter than usual user name “Loverboy” takes it too far and gives stalking a makeover! May I add there are cameras throughout the house not only for the girls and company to watch but for added protection and just to give the movie an extra dimension (not like the disaster Halloween: Resurrection). Friends get to watch in horror as the events of the house unfold when Loverboy shows up. This may not make movie of the year but definitely a wonderful horror grab that deserves the watch, so looking for something you haven’t heard about but will fulfill your horror quota for the weekend make this your first stop as I give this unexpected fun beauty 3 stars.

Evil Aliens (Blu-ray) – I had a region 2 DVD of this Jake West flick when it first came out several years agoand thought it was time to grab the US Blu-ray edition and check it out again. Think Peter Jackson’s “Bad Taste”, with more of the gore and fun of “Dead Alive” if that makes any sense for this Welch production. To break it down it is literally an alien invasion flick from beginning to end as you have a UFO TV show that goes to remote part of the country to interview a pregnant woman about her abduction and set up a mock UFO abduction around her for the show. Problem, there is real bad ass aliens running around killing country folk along with the UFO show crew in a devastating gory  manner that Peter Jackson would be proud of! Great film, that I still give 4 stars too but always surprised how this movie didn’t resonate with US horror fans the way I thought it would? The Blu-ray has a R-rated and the unrated versions, deleted scenes, bloopers, trailers, and a guided tour of the effects but I think the surprise is the quality of this Blu-ray wasn’t really any better than the 12 year old Region 2 DVD I have… I found it kind of disappointing. So if you are an interested horror fan that chooses their purchases wisely but haven’t been introduced to this flick yet I advise finding it on streaming or a cheap used Region 2 copy?

Once Upon a Midnight Scary (DVD-R/YouTube) – Oh for the love of Rutger Hauer this was a wonderful gem to dig up from 1979 as it was a TV special hosted and narrated by Vincent Price. He tells stories: The Ghost that Belonged to Me, Legend of Sleepy Hollow, and House with the Clock in the Walls! A great way to kill an hour, show something to the kids, and be thrown back in time when TV was appointment television as I give this creation 4 stars and can be found quite easily on YouTube for young and old horror fans to enjoy.

Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 (Tubi) – Welcome to Pine Hills Summer Camp as a blood soaked survivor, Jane, wanders in after her ordeal from the first picture. Problem is the thing has followed her! Thus a new group of actual likable characters who eventually fuck in the woods of course have decided to go camping at the wrong time. Or I should have opened with: Welcome to the sex-filled gorefest where a creature feeds on humans after taking over its host! And has a super talented Indy cast! I wasn’t a huge fan of the first film so I was surprised this was getting a sequel but surprise, kudos to the filmmaker for giving a vast improvement of a creature feature as this felt like it was more structured and had an endgame. Bottom line fun shit kids as I give it 3 ½ stars.

The Hoot Owl (DVD) – An Indy flick where four young friends head out to an out of the way place that a couple has purchased after some hard times recently. They are there for more cleaning the place up than having fun let’s say. The backstory comes into full view about ¾’s the way into the flick as someone is there unbeknownst to the friends as 15 years ago a couple was murdered in the home and was rumored to have children or a child disappear in the woods? Now a former inhabitant is not happy with these people buying the property on an online auction. Great artwork for the movie… boring as fucking shit film that felt like they struggled like hell to get this featured length and it showed as I give it 1 star.

Black Eagle (DVD) – It’s the 1988 action jam starring JCVD and Sho Kosugi that came out after Bloodsport and gets forgotten as JCVD plays the bad guy with a heart in this. A US Air Force jet goes down in sea over Malta where all the world’s spies hang out and now the race is on between Russia and the US to track it down. There is laser tech on the jet that cannot fall into the wrong hands of course but the film’s real attraction is the showdown between JCVD and Kosugi as they are on opposite sides. I don’t believe fans got the battle they wanted but we did get (spoiler alert) a very unexpected death scene for JCVD as I give the film 3 stars.

The Freeway Maniac (DVD) – A 1988 Indy flick where Arthur kills mom and her lover with a big knife! Then sent to an institution where as an adult he breaks out and finds Linda the model at a gas station where the attendants were getting rapey. Some time passes and young Linda is back at work again as she gets the starring role for a B-movie that takes place out in the desert. So hey time for Arthur to break out again and travel across the desert to stalk Linda! Not the best of plots but Arthur’s willingness to kill all in his path to get to Linda keeps this less than stellar film interesting and somewhat entertaining as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Pervert’s Guide to Cinema by Slavoj Zizek (YouTube) – Had a close friend suggest this one to me recently as this gentleman looks at film from the philosophical side of things. This three part/2 ½ hour documentary of sorts goes down a rabbit hole of film class so to speak. He breaks down some of the biggest films: The Exorcist, The Matrix, Hitchcock, David Lynch, and tackles music, characters, sexual content, some older films and their impact and the paradox of cinema. If you ever thought there could more to movies this is a good place to start as he break down several things in these movies over the years to explain what they really mean and what they may have been going for as most of us of course missed it. Yeah, this was way too smart for my “Amityville, massacre, slasher film, bad Indy shit” watching ass to understand at spots but a very interesting piece of work to kill time and actually learn something about film that I love and enjoy so much! Well worth checking out kids as it also made me think how much more I would love to have a movie/documentary version of Joe Bob Briggs “Profoundly Disturbing” book. As I feel that might be one of the best things documenting cinema history and its impact on society. Point is if you are a Joe Bob Briggs fan to break it down for yinz n’at, this is well worth your time to understand something we all our so passionate about as I give it 4 stars.

Pieces (Blu-ray) – Finally tracked down the Grindhouse edition for a reasonable price so it was time to dive into this fun 1982 slasher from Spain. Totally upfront, I wasn’t always a huge fan of this film but I have watched it several times and I have grown to like it more and more over the years. So when I was able to get this Blu-ray I thought it was time to do the deep dive into all the extras that this disc features and rewatched this gory entertainment all over again! The movie was made famous for being on the “Video Nasty” list and banned from other countries causing it to hit the US video market in a R-rated version that horror fans during the 80s and early 90s to pass around bootlegs of the uncut version. You cannot go wrong with a maniac and his chainsaw hacking college girls into pieces and collecting them? Not the greatest plot of all time but you will see what makes this movie tick if this might be your first viewing. This edition is packed with interviews, two different versions of the film, and a great documentary about 42nd Street theaters as I give it all 3 ½ stars.

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