Tag Archives: horror movies

Gross Movie Reviews #702

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At Death’s Door (Tubi) – Another independent horror anthology hits the streaming site in where the stories go more for storytelling, suspense, and old school scares than your typical blood splattered anthology. First story deals with a young woman who has nightmares of a clown in her past and how it is connected to her father who she absolutely adores as you wonder is she insane or being led to believe something else? Second story tackles a serial killer who must check in with mom about his latest killer conquest as she rehashes the good old days of murdering folk. Third story has a podcast/radio host named John who dabbles in the paranormal as he claims he is a medium but slowly losing his mind. The last story has a beautiful young woman renting out a suite that causes her past to haunt her for a past sin in a place that isn’t what she thinks it is… A solid showing here folks as I believe it does enough different storytelling that this anthology will be a diamond in the rough for fans of the horror anthologies as I give it 3 out 4 stars.

Groundhog Day Massacre (YouTube) – A lost 1986 SOV short film that had me immediately at “massacre” from Insanity Productions and didn’t disappoint as it left me in smiles for hours after. The film begins with a quick “this might be connected to Amityville” scene but quickly introduces us to the killer who wears a paper bag over his head with safety goggles on and a sawzall with extension cord included. Yes folks, these kids did not hide it at all as this home movie is completely terrible and I love it! The extension cord comes unplugged a few times as the killer chases after his victims. But the real gem here is the background. Whether you are 3, 13, or 23 at the time of this short film being made it will for sure give you some happy flashbacks of that time in the 80s and for that entertainment I give this 3 out of 4 stars.

The Mystery of Dipyramidion (Fawesome) – An odd chap who is fascinated with this ancient artifact called the ‘Sky Key’ as he produces a show on social media called “The History Guy” where he tries to search but educate followers on these wonders. This latest dive into the wormhole of artifacts takes a weird turn as Nathan learns of a billionaire purchasing the artifact through an auction and Nathan has a plan to go see if he can grab it? The fascination of this relative unknown artifact is that throughout history anyone that has held it in their possession has great power. So through pure accident of getting the ‘Sky Key’ Nathan finds himself going through portals to different times, places, maybe even dimensions and collecting things to show off to his followers. But in the end Nathan believes he might be doing more harm than good and decides the adventure of a lifetime has to end. It is an innocent adventure film done rather entertainingly on no budget that I believe will find a following on streaming as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Night of the Rats (DVD) – Besides being a horror weirdo that loves tracking down ‘Amityville’ and ‘massacre’ movies I always love me a good rat flick! And Mr. Matt Jaissle thank you for putting in the effort on making this happen. There has been some illegal dumping found at the Evans City power plant that has leeched into the sewer system causing rats to mutate and attack humans. Two individuals are in charge to quickly resolve this problem but little they know the invasion of killer rats cannot be stopped. Shit, I love the scene when they pull out the laser guns to start shooting the rats but that doesn’t stop it from being a fun lovable mess of a movie. Now to be honest I kinda seen the ending coming and wasn’t happy with it but honestly there can only be one ‘Rats: Night of Terror’. Overall I felt like the film was made just for me as I give this fun movie I had to own 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Minnie’s Midnight Massacre (Tubi) – Twenty years after a young seventh grade girl is locked into a storm cellar by her bullies she has come back to stalk her bullies on vacation as she is dressed as Minnie Mouse. Even though the group of friends are celebrating how long they have stayed friends the aftermath of the bullying has haunted them but hasn’t stopped them from living their ‘best lives’ sort to speak. The film isn’t the best of ideas as it has been proven over the past year with the slew of films portraying Mickey Mouse aka Steamboat Willie since it went into public domain… But I liked the suspense building and the commitment of the Minnie killer but the ending can be seen a mile away which does take away a bit from the good I said after you witness it as I give the project 2 out of 4 stars.

Apocalypse Bigfoot (Tubi) – Some hunters at a hunting camp believe they have taken a shot at something odd or homeless person living out in the woods as they hope the next day of hunting will be better? The next day isn’t as the creature known as Bigfoot goes on a rampage and slaughters their asses. Now small town sheriff is sent to look into the murders but Bigfoot isn’t done as he wants blood from the community! Oh by the way nevermind the sheriff has animal control stuff readily available (too many questions for this slim plot point). Can the sheriff stop this hairy uncontrollable beast? Well you only know if you watch it as the sheriff uses his dead partner as bait as I give this uneventful Bigfoot film with a great title only 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

Robocidal (Tubi) – A Mark Polonia film that has a computer lab where a system failure and a fire in said building send Robot V-227 to leave the lab. The robot quickly starts a killing spree that catches eyes of two older no-nonsense detectives who begin their investigation and refuse to believe a robot can be the killer. With the bodies are piling up the detectives find clues that only leaves the robot as the killer causing them to panic plan to stop this piece of tech and its Robocidal ways! The term is used often throughout the dialogue so of course I had to write it in the review. It’s a little fun feature that has the vibe Mark actually made this in 2002 and just finally got around releasing it for us fans and for that I will give it 2 out of 4 stars.

The Outing (Blu-ray) – A slipcase in all and going by its original title “The Lamp” is what horror fans will know this horror film by as this is a well worth collector’s item for horror fans. (Review in 2024)  For me this was one of those late night “Skinamax” features I always caught on late Friday or Saturday night so of course I have a soft spot for it. Forgive me for only remembering the last 30 minutes of this movie but it is with kids sneaking into a museum after hours to party horror formula. The story begins with degenerates breaking into an old woman’s house finding “the lamp” and unleashing the evil in it causing their deaths. Short time after it ends up at a museum where some kids decide to sneak in after hours to stay overnight to party. Problem is the Djinn has already done its damage and now wants to slaughter the kids before it is forced back into the lamp. A fun but uneven horror film with a cool creature, some fun kills, and a great poster that many older horror fans remember hanging up in the video stores. This special edition explains even though there was no negative produced Vinegar Syndrome was able to still do a restoration and add in a few seconds here and there of scenes doing it. The package besides its cool slipcase and cleaned up film also include a commentary with producer and cast plus an absolutely delightful making of called “All in the Family” that is the gem of this supernatural horror package as I give this must have 3 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!  

Gross Movie Reviews #701

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Sharks N Da Hood (Tubi) – This bootleg of a bootleg ‘Sharknado’ from Dustin Ferguson comes ten years too late as a bad storm rolls through Compton, California as the ocean rises flooding the streets with sharks attacking people. An idea that could have been fun if done a different way or to be precise could have been a rehash of ‘Leprechaun in Da Hood’ with sharks? Instead and I hate to say this but this project is just plain emotionless and a stock footage filled borefest. The scene that describes it all is a character driving in a convertible with no storm and the sun out as throughout the film and scene there is radio and television reports about the storms and rising waters as she drives down the road with nothing happening in Compton so yeah this gets 0 out of 4 stars.

Clown Motel (DVD) – In 2016 Joseph Kelly unleashed a short film that brought this quite unusual landmark in Nevada to the cinema world. A group of people driving in the desert of Nevada breakdown and are forced to walk their way for help. They believe they have found it in a creepy and mysterious “Clown Motel” that has to be seen too believe. (Nevermind what looks like a Super 8 in the background in one scene? Could have been a mistake during a reshoot?) When the group arrives with no one working there the group grabs a key to a room to get some rest. Within sometime after that is a knock at the door and free cookies so of course since the people are white and dumb they eat the cookies. They pass out from the cookies and an evil clown takes advantage and murders them as I enjoy the corny hamster in a bucket death scene for one of the characters. Overall getting past some of the sound issues there is a slight paranormal feel to the short film as the real highlight is the motel itself as I give the project 2 out of 4 stars.

Clown Motel (DVD) – Three years later Joseph Kelly turns his idea into a full feature with a couple big horror names attached to the project. The plot of the film revolves around so-called ghost hunters and a bachelorette party converging onto the motel and having a party together. Unbeknownst to these future victims of the motel is the clowns that did live there used to be nice until they were burned alive because of greed for gold. (Nevermind, someone came along and fix the motel exactly the way it was?) Once the party gets going that is when the two groups don’t see the clowns wandering out of the graveyard next door to visit them. As the two groups fight for their lives to escape they find an old journal of someone that was trapped there in the 70s in hopes of finding answers. This full feature leans much more into the paranormal which just gives the film a weird vibe throughout as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Clown Motel: 2 Death Do Us Part (DVD) – The evil clowns have returned and the sequel rehashes what happened in the first film to open this sequel as the lone survivor Brooke is still trapped in a motel room trying to decide what she can do? So for this feature for whatever crazy ass idea the military gets involved as Brooke’s soon-to-be husband is recruited for a covert mission to find the creepy ‘Clown Motel’ and enter the clown’s realm. Meanwhile the clowns wait patiently around the door of the trapped Brooke waiting for her to make a run to somewhere with no success. As the savage clowns wait to capture Brooke’s soul they have the soldiers show up that allows them to continue their search for souls they need for some convoluted ritual in a cave where the clowns are hanging out this time around. Way too much slow motion action goes on in this film as its main purpose is to set up a third film as I can only give the expanding project 2 out of 4 stars.

Amityvillenado (Fawesome) – Welcome children as entry #78 has been unleashed onto the world in the form of a horror comedy that is worth watching! It begins with the infamous house in Amityville being destroyed by a freak tornado. The next day, Trey who is a former resident of Amityville and his best friend Jib roll into town to stay at his sister’s house for the weekend. With the house destroyed Trey still wants to check out the site maybe even brag to his best friend about all the weird shit that has happened over the years. The two go check it out and find a $2 bill and an Ouija board in the dirt of where the old DeFeo house stood. As the two argue what else can be done with their weekend a freak storm keeps showing up causing chaos among residents as apparently the storm has latched with the evil spirits of the DeFeo home. As the freak storm keeps sucking the souls of Amityville residents Trey, Jib, an old friend in meteorologist June Weathers, and Officer Lipshits must find a way stop the evil tornado’s evil reign of terror in Amityville. A lot of good fun here with one big hang up is it runs a way too long 111 minutes! When you think about it after watching as fun as it is there are certain scenes that could have been cut down or removed for a better running time as I give this latest entry into the Amityville series 3 out of 4 stars. P.S. these folks deserve your support of this feature they have watched many entries like me because of the references they throw out along the way.

Cape Cod Cthulhu (Fawesome) – This recent Mark Polonia film deals with Lovecraft and Poe as the feature is introduced by none other Craig Muckler of ‘Microwave Massacre’ fame! The movie opens with a person dying in a cemetery that leads into a young woman jumping into a car to tell a story to the famous Mark Polonia. Mark is so famous he even gets pitched the idea of directing ‘Spookies 2’ by Frank Farel himself! The young woman tells Mark the story of how her and two friends head to Cape Cod during spring break for the discounts but also to rehearse together. Have no clue of why there is this so-called ‘Cake Boss’ rap song in the film but it all leads up to this young woman explaining the spirits of Poe and Lovecraft having a boxing match in the living room of the cottage they rented in Cape Cod. In the end of all this weirdness I came away feeling like Mark might have made a film to just poke fun at his recent movies as I give this project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Ebola Syndrome (4K/Ultra HD) – This 1996 film is unlike anything most horror film fans have ever seen and for the first time as a couple years ago Vinegar Syndrome restored this film unrated to the states where you usually seen some kind of bootleg of the project. The story of Kai begins in 1986 where being involved with a married woman he needs to murder his way out the situation. Immediately Kai is on the run as the story moves to South Africa ten years later where Kai works cheap for a Chinese restaurant. Looking for cheaper priced meat for the business Kai heads out into the jungle of South Africa with his boss to buy pigs. While there Kai attacks a woman only to contract the deadly Ebola virus from her and bring it back to the restaurant. Kai sick at first but then becomes immune to the virus is tired of having his balls busted by the boss’ wife as Kai brutally slaughters them and takes their money to travel back to Hong Kong. There Kai continues his contamination of everyone around him as he kills again with an ending that is just completely wild and something I have never forgotten after first seeing this film in Incredible Strange Video in Dormont, Pa., around 1998 for the first time. The film gets 4 stars for sure but this is a thing of beauty for collectors besides the slipcase, there is the great 4K scan of the original negative, interview with director Herman Yau, featurette of Yau trying to explain how hard it was to get the project translated into English, interviews with lead actor Anthony Wong, a couple of commentary tracks, and a 20-page booklet on Herman Yau’s career and about this legendary project. More than anything this movie is something for horror fans that are tired of hearing their friends complain about liking “gory movies but can never find them?” Just tell your friends “hold my beer” and hand them this feature.  

The Benefactress: An Exposure of Cinematic Freedom (Google) – Now full heads up the person that sent me this screener warned me it’s “not my cup of tea” but that hasn’t ever stopped me from at least giving the film a watch as I do watch lots of stuff outside of monsters, slashers, and Amityville entries. The independent film comes out of the UK that goes to great lengths to be different as it centers on a character named “Juicy X” and her relationship with a certain filmmaker. They take quite a ride into underground cinema that could be seen as the dark side of film, or as an extreme sexual exploration, or as a disturbing art form that isn’t for the mainstream audience to understand. Point is Juicy X goes to the extreme with an unknown person in her residence while being filmed doing it by Guerilla Metropolitana who eventually gets in on the act also. The project isn’t my cup of tea and I knew that going in but sometimes me watching a project like this can help the right audience find it in what could also be viewed as a small part of ‘Faces of Death’ from the art world for those who are not exposed to such cinema? Honestly giving this project a rating would do it injustice in my opinion. Giving it exposure to find the audience that appreciates what it is sometimes is more of the goal of me reviewing and in hopes of finding them.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!  

Gross Movie Reviews #700

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Nightmares Unleashed (DVD) – The newest project to come out of MMH Productions where this kind sir goes out of their comfort zone to bring something I would perhaps call “Fantasy horror”. A young woman has just gotten a new VHS tape called ‘Cult of the Scarecrow’ and quickly finds herself sucked into the movie by an evil jester called, “Joseph the Clown”. At first being a huge horror fan the young woman believes it is just wild to be standing near the cult members and be in the movie but then it all becomes too real as the cult members want a virgin! She is saved for now by a young man Matthew who has been looking for his sister. Together Raven and Matthew must cross several movies to fight off witches, zombies, tree monsters, a demented scientist, vampires, a summer camp killer, and a fun house to escape Joseph as he has created in this movie world a prison for him to play with people who watch these obscure horror films. Raven and Matthew’s goal becomes saving the kids to defeat Joseph but that only sounds good in theory. The project dares to be totally different, has a ‘Funnyman’ kind of vibe to it, and the Joseph the clown character keeps the film creepy yet alluring at the same time and for that I gotta give this interesting piece of cinema 3 out of 4 stars.    

Deathboard (DVD) – This 2020 Brad Twigg horror film may have gotten overlooked as a lot of projects did during that year revolves around a young woman buying a beautiful house cheap. Once a group of friends come over to help celebrate she lets them in on how she got it so cheap and couldn’t pass it up. As she explains the house used to be the home of a brutal psycho four years ago but has since passed. Of course Val and friends go investigate the basement that even when buying no one looked at? But they find an Ouija board and kiddingly try to conjure the spirit of the brutal killer of Psycho Cyrus. After a scene of pizza eating, dealing with sexual harassment pizza guy, too much drinking, too much sharing about their sexual encounters, we get to the good stuff as the killer wastes no time slaughtering their way through the friends. But wait there is more… what comes with this cool little project is not just the great ‘Slumber Party Massacre’ and ‘Sorority Babes in the Slime Bowl-O-Rama’ vibes but a cool ending that ties some things together as I gotta give this little known Indie feature 3 out of 4 stars.

Creep Footage 3: ‘Night Nurse (DVD) – Didn’t even see the first two films, hell didn’t know they existed but when did that ever stop me from watching sequels out of order? Anyway, this 23 minute short that is done like a cool History channel-style documentary of sorts about a character ‘Nurse Candy’. This said Nurse Candy who interacts with a dangerous patient ‘Apple’ in asylum is the direct cause of an evil event Halloween 1988. The person Apple was already a danger but the actions of Nurse Candy led this Apple character to an evil night of bloodshed. Documentary, found footage stuff I will leave it to you what you think but great people involved with the short and glad a great young actor pointed it out to me as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Priest: Thanksgiving Massacre (Tubi) – You know me kids if I am not tracking down Amityville flicks I gotta keep that ‘massacre’ list going as many years ago a priest commits a terrible sin then doubles down on it by committing suicide. Now present day a family is spending an awkward holiday at a secluded cabin in the woods together. We learn because of dad’s porn star girlfriend using the steam room too much it awakens the undead priest from under the floor boards of said cabin. They all believe it is the son trying to be creepy and watch his sister undress in the crawlspace even though he finds the journal of the undead priest. But it is all set into motion as this undead bastard can smell sin in the air! Once after the journal is found and looks like this film is going to be a lot of awkward fun it comes to a screeching crawl of waiting for this undead bastard to kill them all which of course doesn’t happen. People yinz had something here and yinz let go to waste as this was barely a massacre so I can only give it 1 star.

Amityville Aliens (DVD) – So entry #77 has come into our lives as a 75 minute project that is a project that featuring shorts put together in a way that connects to Amityville? The film begins with legendary Donald Farmer intro that leads into the films we are about to watch were confiscated from a Black Ops shelter in New Mexico about alien encounters in Amityville, New York. The first short takes us into a post-apocalyptic war between aliens and residents of Amityville. The second short film is Martian Girl Massacre which is a delightfully gooey mess about a young woman being possessed by a giant pink alien in the backyard that causes her to slaughter friends in return her prize is being slaughtered horribly by the alien. Third short film is a black and white throwback where Galactic Samurai Schoolgirls visiting Amityville to gather men but instead find some mobster underlings. The fourth short film takes place in 1928 Amityville where an older woman and her shotgun have an encounter with a stop motion werewolf in armor. Oh by the way nevermind the Miller High Life box you’ll see in the cupboard at the beginning, remember its 1928… The fifth short comes off as an old paranormal public access show tackling aliens in Amityville and they reveal the main cause of the horror in Amityville is the space fungus in the soil? This entry is quite entertaining, hell hilarious at times but two things here: first I would have arranged these shorts very differently because I would have ended the project with the post-apocalyptic short instead of opening the film with it. This just throws off the vibe of watching these “so-called” confiscated films plus I felt that project was a terrible lead into Martian Girl Massacre which is a fun watch on its own. Second the two highlights that will have Amityville fans clamoring for more are the Martian Girl Massacre and Galactic Samurai Schoolgirls. These two projects are the most polished but most importantly felt like they were the most versatile as they could be put out there in the world on their own but at the same time they fit perfectly into an Amityville space anthology. I would go as far as maybe these two projects overshadow the others but hey I just review these things as I give entry #77 into the series 2 ½ out of 4 stars. P.S. you can always send me your Amityville arguments or comments.

Bionic Ninja (YouTube) – Well apparently someone was bored again on social media as they declared “this movie is the worst of all time”. Of course you now have my attention just because of the title but I hate when people do this because I hate to say it “you are usually wrong”. It’s just an opinion kids. This 1986 film has a secret tech film stolen in Hong Kong that has the KGB and CIA fighting over possession of it. Sadly there aren’t any cyborg ninjas but there is a bunch of non-stealthy ninjas employed by the KGB who want the film. Beginning to end it is filled with ninjas, fights, car stunts, and even the Miami Vice theme song?! Even though the whole film is based on which world power will get this secret it feels like this film was all about random ninjas being non-stealthy unlike some of the other early 80s ninja films that are classics. Sorry kids go back to social media claim some other bullshit because this movie was far from being the worst as I found it quite entertaining at times as I give it at least 2 stars. Also have yinz ever watched Hereditary? Now there is at least an argument to throw out there on your Google machines…

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!  

Gross Movie Reviews #699

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Amityville Corndog (YouTube) – So entry #76 became a thing recently as this short film from filmmaker Blaize Tudor stars some talented folk in Mel Heflin and Ralph Rey along with Blaize himself. A group of friends have a get together one weekend and of course a friend has brought the Ouija board to play! Using the board of death the group brings forth the spirit of a killer corndog as one by one they become victims of said corndog. Yes it is completely absurd and I love it as this short film into the series gets 3 out of 4 stars.

Project Genesis (Tubi) – Holy ballsacks people this movie goes all over the place for well over two hours. So this dude that isn’t from around this village, an outsider in 1992 disrupts a ritual overnight that allows dead bodies to fall from the sky. Fast forward to 2023, Stella the small child who went looking for her outsider daddy has a daughter of her own with nowhere to live. As her mother has fallen ill Stella heads back home as she is asked to go looking for her missing father who screwed shit up? With an old radio Stella is able to contact her father once a year according to her mother as once in contact that’s when shit gets completely confusing and wild. There is time travel, zombies, dinosaurs destroying cities, portals, these weird rings, dimension jumping all because the C.I.A. wanted the tech of course in this crazy ass and good luck Thai film I can only give 2 stars too.

Fatal Desires (Tubi) – Wow, Sean Donohue, a super talented filmmaker out of Florida digs in the bag of throwbacks (when the Skinamax existed) to pull out a sexually charge thriller we haven’t seen since the early 90s. A very beautiful couple is having sexual issues as they agree to employ a high end therapist to help them with their troubles. The therapist turns the tables on them as she tries to earn their trust and attempts to seduce both for her own devious reasons. In the end as the couple is full of sex and regret the therapist is able to lead the couple down a dark road against each other. This feature will surely not be for everyone but Mr. Donohue does his best to remind those of us that remember those days of the erotic thriller there is still great stories to be told especially when you have an all-star Indie cast to help pull it off. For that I give the feature 3 out of 4 stars.

Members Club (Tubi) – This horror comedy out of the UK is something I absolutely heard nothing about but glad I gave it a chance as the feature opens with a park sign reading “No Dogging”… I was hooked immediately! Quickly we are introduced to a group of male strippers who have aged out of the profession but refuse to stop. Their brilliant name for the group is “Wet Dreams”! Wet Dreams is offered a gig of the lifetime as it is a sold out venue as its unlikely they are going to have an opportunity like this again to perform in front of a sold out crowd. All are drugged before the show and quickly are told they are sacrifices for an evil ritual to bring forth an old witch that is looking for revenge hundreds of years later. Things don’t exactly go according to plan as the strippers must fight the witch in order to escape the terror in this somewhat gory and uncomfortable fun feature as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Sound of Horror (YouTube) – So recently I watched a newer horror film called ‘Invisible Raptor’ as someone pointed out there was an older Spanish flick that did the concept first. So I went down the wormhole to go find this 1966 b-flick where an archeologist and friends go treasure hunting in a mountain that has urban legends about it. The locals fear the mountain but that doesn’t stop this group from digging away to find a petrified egg and a mummy thus disturbing the invisible dinosaur that roams inside the mountain. The group must make the hard decision to either leave or die trying to find the so called legendary treasure as I give the film 2 stars.

Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon: Christmas Special (Blu-ray) – The entertaining and talented Addison Binek is back at it again as he brings forth a collection of his famous holiday cheer episodes to a better format for fans. As Mr. Binek refers to himself as “Addy Claus” goes the road of the usual holiday horror with a couple of oddities that will make you turn your head slowly in that creepy Michael Myers way in confusion but yet delight. Remember not all of them can be hits as he quite gets into the spirit of riffing on such features: Jack Frost, Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Killer Snowman, Santa Claws, Christmas Evil, Santa’s Slay, Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys, To All a Goodnight, Slaughter Claus, Cannibal Claus, Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventures, Santa Claus: Serial Rapist, Krampus: The Christmas Devil, The Elf, Once Upon a Time at Christmas. This set is not only for the holiday horror die hards but for folks that just like to laugh at quirky cinema they never knew could be this funny as why I give this set 4 out of 4 stars.

Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon: The Holiday Leftover Edition (Blu-ray) – This might be Addison’s most interesting and hilarious collection to make it to the Blu-ray format for fans as Mr. Binek really goes all out to truly make this the weirdest collection of leftovers a must have. Addison starts off strong as he gives us Easter Bunny Kill Kill!, no matter how tasteless or uncomfortable it makes him while riffing on it. Unlucky Charms continues the laughter as it makes Addison question if there was ever a plot? He quickly moves right onto Peter Rottentail that only confuses him because the lack of rabbit references and the filmmakers not truly understanding how magic works. Mr. Binek then really digs into Plan 9 from Outer Space as it is considered a Halloween treat for some so he can make sense of it for others. As he goes back to an Easter film in Easter Casket Addison only finds he gets upset there isn’t more candy in plastic Easter eggs but believing every scene is filmed in a rando hotel room. And then he reaches Blood Freak … (remake from Daniel Boyd and Tim Gross) which makes Addison convinced Thanksgiving is only a holiday for doing drugs? From there Addison brings out a Home Alone sequel I literally didn’t know existed? But leave it to the famous Indie label Mail Order holiday horror to have Addison question if watching all these projects was even a good idea especially when he lays into Hell on the Shelf. If that wasn’t enough Amityville Thanksgiving leaves Addison questions about gift wrapping and not understanding this entry is a holiday entry into the Amityville series. All this leads into two oddities of the holiday leftover edition that features Cookie Christmas movie which is truly bizarre and can only be believed if watched along with the underrated and possibly one of the most brilliant horror sequels of all time in Leprechaun in the Hood! As you can tell I have always been a fan of Addison’s work and his riffing on movies but this “Holiday Leftover Edition” might be the crown jewel as he digs deep for projects that most don’t know about along with one or two that you have come across on Tubi or something with great curiosity as this must own Blu-ray without a doubt gets 4 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!  

Gross Movie Reviews #693

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The Devil’s Hacksaw (Tubi) – This was a premise that excited me before the release and the trailer looked great. The plot revolves around a crazy dude in 2001 who kidnaps a school bus full of kids as he then commits suicide scarring his son who was also on the bus for the long term. Because of the incident the kid is committed to an asylum only to escape of course present day! This scarred individual slaughters his way through the quiet town with a bit of humor about his actions along the way. This is one of your more mean spirited Indy slashers that I feel you will enjoy it more than I did if you don’t see the trailer first as I can only give this project 2 out of 4 stars.

Rippy (Tubi) – Yinz had me at Michael Biehn where his old ass is needed to go fight a big ass zombie kangaroo! Of course this is an Australian production where after several odd deaths a sheriff must live up to their father’s legacy to save their small community that’s being terrorized by this monstrous thing. This beast is almost unstoppable after mutating from the local water stream and feasts on humans constantly. Yes it is a huge mess but this is a fun monster mess that all horror fans can get behind if yinz give it a chance as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Harmony Falls (Tubi) – A small town sheriff calls in a cryptozoologist Ian McDermott near Mount St. Helens because of stories and recent animal attacks that don’t exactly add up. If it makes sense this turns out to be a very dry maybe even more boring werewolf film that makes you question everything that was filmed as I can only give this project a ½ star out of 4.

Tunnels (Tubi/YouTube) – Depending the source you of reading material about this late 80s project it was suspected to be some kind of weird TV pilot? A couple of reporters get curious about the various rat stories under their building and go investigating. Instead of finding some weird rat creature the duo uncovers some weird plot of the homeless getting snatched up and being sold as slaves overseas. This easily could have gone all in on the CHUD formula but chose to do something very convoluted that gets the viewer lost as I can barely give it a ½ star.

There’s a Zombie Outside (Tubi/DVD) – Directed by the wonderfully talented Michael Varrati pits four friends renting a house for a weekend that happens to be just a movie project for an actor Ben. Ben is literally having trouble determining what reality is and what’s not as he keeps seeing a zombie outside of his window as he tries to keep a grasp on reality. Ever since his movie Ben has been having personal troubles and friends are worried what is exactly going on with him? Varrati does exceptional work to tell a quite unique zombie tale that doesn’t fit the mold of the usual zombie genre fare as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Jimmy and Stiggs (Blu-ray) – Jimmy believes he is being attacked or abducted by aliens after taking several drugs and pissing off his woman. Trapped in his apartment Jimmy record his possible abduction for research purposes that convince him he needs to prepare for the aliens. Stiggs stops by and finds he quickly becoming part of this drug-crazed alien attack in Jimmy’s apartment that turns into one of the biggest mess of goo in recent memory. The filmmaker’s love for such a project ‘Bad Taste’ warns you immediately what you are in for an amazing bonkers filled gag movie where Jimmy must fight off aliens! I absolutely respect the complete chaos this film is as I gotta give it 3 stars and a must see for horror fans so they can discuss!

Piranha Women (Tubi) – A Full Moon project that I believe was supposed to be a series of films or something for streaming but ended up being a one off mash-up from Fred Olen Ray and Charles Band. Alexia looks into an experimental treatment for her condition that not only causes her to be separated from her boyfriend but may cause death for other people. The concerned boyfriend Richard looks into her doctor only to find that bodies are starting to pile up on the shores of the local bay. It’s a quick sexy horror thing that is forgotten as quickly as you watch it as I give it 1 ½ stars.

The Dark Lurking (Tubi) – A 2009 Australian low budget flick that has survivors locked down in a secret research station where some old creatures have resurfaced. For any chance of survival that is left they must climb several levels to the surface to even have a chance being rescued from the horror that was unleashed. A mix of Aliens, Event Horizon, and Doom is the best way to explain this creature filled horror as I give it unimpressive, could have been more 1 ½ stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #692

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Whispers (YouTube) – This is an upcoming independent project out of Bulgaria I believe where recent disappearances at Bonavar Park has three men and soon a woman all having different stories of how they got to a strange building in the middle of this mysterious park. All involved are looking for a young woman Sophie where several others have gone missing around the same time. An interesting project that feels with no budget they took elements of ‘Reservoir Dogs’ and elements of a ghost hunting movie to throw them in a blender and should grab interest of people who seek out the supernatural as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.  

Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 (On Demand) – A year has gone by since Mike and his sister had the incident at one of the famous pizzerias where the animatronics went nuts. Both are trying to get past it but at same time Abby would like to see her robotic friends again. But there is an original location not far from the siblings that has been disturbed as it had some unique differences that other franchises did not have. This original place had a marionette that had been locked in place but has escaped its prison to use its rage on those who wronged her. Charlotte the young girl that inhabits the marionette, her goal is to possess Abby and cause death everywhere beyond the walls of the closed down location. The teenagers are going to like this sequel just like the first film as you see from the first few minutes there is a third project in the works as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Black Phone 2 (Blu-ray) – Our sequel takes place in North Denver 1982 where Finn and Gwen are a little older but are still reminded of the serial killer ‘The Grabber’ every once in a while. Things get a little weird as Finn struggles constantly with surviving but his sister begins having dreams of talking to their mother at Alpine Lake Camp in 1957. As the nightmares intensify and Finn not completely convinced ‘The Grabber’ is dead? The siblings with a friend sign up for the Christian camp and head into the mountains for possible answers only to be snowed in for days. Here is where we learn the origin of the killer and why the siblings are in need of being there. Just like the first film the sequel leans into the supernatural but without going completely ridiculously falling off the rails to give a solid horror effort as I give the film 3 stars.

Nosferatu (Remake/Blu-ray) – Our story takes place in Germany 1838 where a young man Thomas is sent by his firm to have papers signed by an old count named Count Orlok. Much time goes by and the wife of Thomas believes he may be dead as she warned him not to go? As more time passes with the old Count making his way to their village to reclaim what he believes is his Ellen becomes increasingly ill. This event sets up an evil plague invading the village and a specialist not just for Ellen is called in but also for the hope of destroying the plague before it consumes everything. I enjoyed this solid remake that may have some horror fans feeling like they are watching 1992’s ‘Dracula’ the first half but stick with it folks as this film is super atmospheric and beautiful where it goes. Like the ‘Wolfman’ remake let the movie build because there is point to the story building as I give this project 3 stars.

Gooblefoot (Tubi) – This independent project begins with a young witch being burned to death around Thanksgiving 1752 but not before she cursed the village of Salem’s Bluff a few days before. Now present time and stories of odd deaths over the years has a professor in folk lore sent a tape of evidence of this creature attacking someone. The professor who has PTSD travels to Salem’s Bluff to encounter the legendary creature and uncover the truth. The biggest issue with the no budget project is the film is mostly incoherent… It feels like there was something there but the heart of the project may have been edited out so beware of this oddity as I can only give it 1 out of 4 stars.

Game Over (DVD) – This 2009 project out of Germany is not for your average horror fan as Debbie Rochon as Tina who moved to Germany for various reasons gets a surprise on her birthday… Her two best friends who also consider themselves scream queens like her showing up. After some partying and not knowing how to drive stick shift the trio ends up in a park drinking. There the three are attacked by a maniac who kidnaps the trio to bring them back to his dwelling for constant rape, torture by his sadistic girlfriend, and acts of how sadistic he can be as the women see they are not just the only victims. A weird, brutal, and gory adventure into torture until Tina has been pushed past the edge as she escapes and snaps to be just as brutal as her attacker. This brutal tale just beats you over the head with its constant gore and no glimmer of hope as I give it 2 ½ stars as it was mostly not my cup of tea.

Lucifer (DVD-R/YouTube) – This 1987 British/Canadian horror film is also known as ‘Goodnight, God Bless’ with a wild opening scene that has a man looking like a priest gunning down kids and a teacher in a school playground. The film is somewhat tame after that opening but it sets the tone of someone impersonating a priest to slay his way through the city. But mostly this killer is obsessed with the little girl Mandy because he ran out of bullets at the playground to kill her. With an odd open ending or I should say studio or filmmaker were unsure how to end the film I could only give it 2 stars.         

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #690

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Infinite Santa 8000: Web Series (YouTube) – Before there was a full feature there was this holiday animated horror treat that was just mind blowing and thought it was time for a revisit for those of yinz that haven’t witnessed the awesomeness. The web series was conducted into 13 short episodes that ran a little over two minutes (a couple seconds less or more on a couple) paired with some bad ass thrashing music for the intro and outro. This story is set in a post-apocalyptic world a thousand years from now where all that is left is mutants and Robo people. Believed to be the only one left Santa lives a quiet life but he also must kill for food these days in order to survive these harsh future times. The mystical man is also a gun totting, machete wielding, flame throwing son of a bitch as mutants find ultimate death at his hands. But in a world with no hope a young girl named Martha comes into Santa’s life as they become quick friends. Unbeknownst to either Martha is a pawn used to get Santa out of hiding for an evil doctor to do experimentation on the fat jolly old fool for his magical powers of survival all these years. Santa and Martha escape the evil doctor’s clutches for now in search of a safe place in the wasteland but in this sadistic creature filled future there is nowhere to hide! The music is bad ass, the animation is wonderful, and after all these years the story still holds up as I always like to call this “Animated Santa in Mad Max world”. So this holiday season do yourself a favor and go watch this “FREE” web series on the YouTubes n’at to check out what some cool Indie folk did about 15 years ago as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars.

10/31 Part 4 (Blu-ray) – The popular Indie anthology series is back with a few stories and trailers to scare you. The first story called ‘Ejecdead’ focuses on a VHS tape brings a killer to life on Halloween when watched as a crazy horror fan tries to keep a Halloween tradition alive finds out the hard way after renting it. The second story ‘Haig’s Heart’ is about revenge as an owner of a chocolate bar factory gives away all his stock for Halloween as he poisoned it all. The third story ‘The Witch’s Curse’ revolves around sisters being witches and being slaughtered in 1969. Now their home has become part of a reality show for Halloween. The fourth story ‘Moonlight Massacre’ is about a young man being bitten by a werewolf then trying to deal with it. The trailers in-between stories were a lot of fun, my highlight of this whole project may have been ‘The Gravestalkers’ trailer as that looks to have a lot of potential if made into a feature? Anyhow everything was solid in this entire project but this anthology felt more forced than natural if it makes sense? Plus I have felt the last entry; Part 3 was the best of the bunch where everything finally came together. It’s possible this might be the time to put this Halloween tradition to bed as it may have run its course as I liked the effort this time around but this series may have peaked with the third film as I give this 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Hand that Feeds the Dead (Blu-ray) – This rare early 70s Euro film stars the infamous Klaus Kinski and up until recently was believed to be lost here in America until Full Moon gave it a proper release with subtitles over the past year or so. This time piece has a professor secluded to a mansion with his so-called wife where he kidnaps young women to perform experimental skin grafts to said wife in hopes of correcting her injuries she suffered in a fire ten years ago. As females from the village continue to disappear and a stranded couple at the mansion becomes curious with authorities Kinski’s character knows he must finish his work sooner than later. As usual Kinski is bigger than life on screen and sleazy as usual as this lost euro film will fill the black hearts of some horror fans as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Space Goblins (YouTube) – An animated short film that has a duo of space goblins who are bounty hunters that somehow feels like a lost idea from MTV’s ‘Liquid Television’ for those weirdos old enough to remember it. In this 26 minute galactic weirdness has the odd duo tracking down a criminal to a planet with a bar called “The Glory Pole” as long as they ain’t bitching about goblin life in space and paying taxes they always get their man or alien! An odd but hilarious project that could even be described as a dark episode of ‘Galaxy High’ Saturday morning cartoon as the space goblins scour the galaxy to bring in the crud for payment in hopes of bringing peace for all. This is a project has quite a lot of potential as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (Remake/Theater) – So this was the second time around for the 1984 classic to remade that caught myself and a lot of horror fans by surprise of being made. Of course being a huge fan of the original I had to see what the hell they were going to do this time around… and folks I really liked this one! Without trying to give things away because I feel this remake needs to be seen to be believed as the filmmaker and writers flipped this story on its head. What do I mean by this? They figured out how to pay homage to the original but at the same time understanding retelling of the original story just wouldn’t work these days. Best way to describe this film: Killer Santa somehow transforms into an anti-hero who at one point kills Nazis! Yes, folks all the elements of the original with Billy becoming a Killer Santa are there but they do it in such a glorious way for 2025 that we even get the famous line: “It’s Garbage Day”. This is one of those remakes that I am curious to see if it makes an impact enough for horror fans to enjoy two or three holiday seasons from now as that 2012 remake was solid but missed the point of the 1984 original. You gave me lots of blood, an odd take on Killer Santa that surprised me it worked, and finally a small town in a horror film where everyone is a POS, for that I cannot believe I am saying this I give this project 4 stars and wouldn’t be surprised it sneaks into my “top ten” for 2025. Horror fans seriously don’t miss out on seeing this film in the theaters it was a lot of fun!

The Mean One (Tubi) – Finally giving this a watch that is the horror version of ‘The Grinch’ oh I am sorry legally they are not allowed to call that as they call “it”, ‘The Green Monster’ or ‘The Mean One’. Cindy returns to her family home many years after her mother was supposedly killed by a green monster in a Santa suit on Christmas. With her appearance and wanting to celebrate Christmas in the town that doesn’t celebrate the holiday any longer she brings death as ‘The Green Monster’ reappears again. Of course the cops claim they don’t believe her and want Cindy to go away but after Cindy does training and becomes bootleg Lucy Lawless for a hot minute she is ready to go hunting for this creature. The film parodies ‘The Grinch’ from beginning to end but what I was looking for never happened unless you consider the green monster was supposed to be Santa Claus??? I wanted an explanation to this thing and how it existed, not a feature length horror parody that cannot legally use the name. I know it’s cruel but this was just above a large turd as I give it a ½ star.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #686

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I:Scream – A Minty Musical (Blu-ray) – This independent feature might be the surprise of 2025 that movie fans have been looking for. In Aleen Isley’s directorial debut, Charlie a young scientist must fight off their own creation. Trying to woo the love of the young scientist’s life with chocolate chip mint ice cream it is unforeseen that a janitor later would accidentally cause a spill of Charlie’s animation formula into the ice cream that was left causing a major issue? The experimental formula brings the delicious green ice cream to life to immediately eat the janitor’s arm then cause chaos nearby as it grows to eat people in its path! Charlie with friends entrust a former ice cream man, “Old Man Reggie” to steer them to a solution in defeating this mutant ice cream problem. Along the way Miss Isley’s characters break out into song about the killer ice cream making this a lighthearted horror must see. Aleen Isley used all of her behind the scenes experience of several other projects to prove it is worth taking a chance to make something memorable and entertaining for your debut. She deserves to be congratulated in what she has accomplished even with a scene stealing David Dietz as “Old Man Reggie” as I give this feature 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Weed Hacker Massacre (Tubi) – The movie can get a little confusing on what exactly is going on but the basic premise of the project is about a killer named “Pokerface”. The Indie slasher can be hilarious in certain moments as a remake of a bad horror movie is being done ten years after. Supposedly the killer Pokerface was killing cast members on set during filming. So decade later the remake is happening with someone that survived and people are dying again but it is found out the murders are being done by the family who pretty much own the town. Again an odd and a little confusing concept but at times fun as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

A Mother’s Dying Wish (DVD) – A short film from a talented filmmaker named Jason Burke available on his ‘Nostalgic Nightmare Productions Movie Collection Volume 2’ that was made for the 48 Hour Film Project. Siblings get together trying to face the fact their mother has passed away as their mother got them to this meeting with a letter. They discuss, argue, etc. but that’s when the fun begins as none of them understand until it is too late this was a part of their mother’s plan for them after death as I give the short film 4 out of 4 stars.

Amityville La Llorona (YouTube) – Welcome to entry #72 of the long running horror series that has no signs of stopping as I will always keep watching. This installment comes off funny to me as I honestly believe this film had another title but at last minute someone used the “Amityville” title to get more eyes on it in some weird way. All of the film is one location where a couple argues over a recent death and what it has done to them? During their 65 minute argument or film in this case a demon comes to visit to wreak havoc on the couple. The biggest problem with this entry was I found it boring and literally this where my theory on why this wasn’t originally an Amityville project but a project with the title slapped on it after the fact. No matter what I give this 0 out of 4 stars.

Until Dawn (Blu-ray) – Maybe one of the bigger surprises in horror for me in 2025 is this project based on a more recent video game of where Clover and friends go retracing Clover’s sister Mel’s steps one year later. After directions from a gas station attendant they come to an old ‘visitor center’ for a town that doesn’t exist anymore. The group investigates the building then quickly they all are savagely killed. They all wake up again at the place to do it again, again, again, night after night until they can find a way to survive until dawn. As the nights go on the murders become even more brutal than the night before but the group slowly picks up on the details of what can help them before it’s too late. This is all because an experiment linked to a massive mining accident twenty years before. I quite enjoyed how much fun this horror movie actually was as I give it 3 stars.

Bring Her Back (Blu-ray) – Step siblings are forced to be with a foster parent after their father died unexpectingly in the shower. Piper and Andy fight to stay together and they are given a chance with a reliable foster parent in Laura who used to work for the system. Once at their new residence Andy feels something is off as they meet another child Oliver as the kid acts very off is the best way to put it. The plan for the duo is get through the next few months where Andy will be allowed to apply for guardianship of Piper. But Laura has other plans as she sneaks around in attempt to separate the step siblings as Oliver is always the reason for the plan. As time goes on all involved understand Ollie cannot be controlled any longer and the step siblings figure out they are part of some dark ritual of moving a soul. This slow burn of a horror film isn’t perfect but enjoyable as it presents the lengths of a mother will go to bring her daughter back to life as I give this project 3 stars.

Return of the Corn Zombies (Tubi) – The sequel to mid-west zombie outbreak film is here and once again casted with some very talented Indie folk. The outbreak is not slowing as this project follows a band of survivors traveling across the country looking for a so-called “Paradise”? They want somewhere they do not have to run from or fight for their lives daily. Along the way they meet a young lady who believes they can find what they might be looking for at “Homestead” or their paradise after a long trek to what they thought was safe but was no longer. When they arrive in this safe place they find it to be weird, peaceful, but a little secretive. This farming community has its reasons to be secretive as nothing is what it seems as this family running Homestead have found a way to survive and do not like outsiders as they believe only in family. The film has a great cast again, the film’s beginning is just absolutely fun with its ‘Day of the Dead’ vibe and music, and I quite enjoyed they just didn’t decide to do the same movie all over again. Don’t sleep on this independent zombie project and go support it as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Addy and Andy (Blu-ray) – A no budget 12 episode show from Addison Binek and Andrew Hansom about two young men living together and what antics they get themselves into. Think of an unfiltered but professionally shot sitcom or long skit of two dudes in their early twenties trying to figure out life but mostly like to entertain themselves when together. Some of my laugh out loud episodes involve the movie CHUD, the duo trying not to let the other see they are drinking, The Del Taco episode, and the vampire of course. All the episodes are hilarious but had to point those out as I believe this creation comes off natural and wouldn’t be surprised two young dudes with no camera and living together would be doing these things? I know I would have and for that I am delighted to give this must see project 4 out of 4 stars. What is even better is the episodes are an average of less than ten minutes making it an easy watch but more importantly easy for rewatches on a regular basis.

Amityville Chupacabra (YouTube) – So for entry #73 a team of scientists has captured a mysterious creature/Cryptid for experimentation at the Amityville Labs. Unsure where their experiments should go next because of the creature’s unrest the creature finds a way to escape and begins hunting down people in the labs. Reinforcements are called in to recapture the creature but the scientists understand they are now very expendable because of the escape the project is going to be taken over. I like this concept for a cheesy monster movie entry into the Amityville series but felt a different location and just more blood because it is a cheesy monster concept would have helped this entry as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Zombies (YouTube) – Moving on to entry #74 without warning this one is an anthology of Amityville zombie films in various lengths. Shawn Phillips who has made several entries has found an unmarked video tape at a thrift store and while watching the tape changes him into a zombie. On the tape is these projects hosted by the lovely and talented Dr. Boobenstein aka Rebecca Rinehart. All the films long or short take place around the New York area. First half of the film is a very serious zombie segment called ‘District Dead’ about a YouTuber witnessing a zombie outbreak and six months later he is recording what is left. In the middle are a couple non-serious zombie shorts then the second half is made up of two brothers surviving the zombie onslaught in the New York area? It is a different concept but what hurts it is the first film ‘District Dead’ runs about 37 minutes or so and literally could have stood on its own. This project sets the tone of the anthology and the segments that follow it just don’t fit with it in my opinion. This attempt isn’t a bad idea by any means the anthology just feels like oil and water and believe something else other than ‘District Dead’ would have been a better fit for the better of the anthology. ‘District Dead’ is something that should have been released on its own for the benefit of both projects as I give this entry 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #684

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Baron Morbid’s Basement of Mediocrity (DVD) – A horror host and his assistant had been doing this show for a while as they decide to show their own feature… ‘Spawn of Sasquatch’. They put together two of Douglas Waltz’s features for a fun picture shown in edited form. Something that used to be done years ago at the drive-in, etc., but they get into that during introduction. They smash the titles ‘Gingersquatch’ (which is quality viewing by the way) and (I believe) ‘Infinite Clown War’ or thirty minutes or so of each project together to make one film for a hilarious combo for their show. Think public access show feel and its tongue-in-cheek process is throwback random stuff I would find in the early 90s on late night cable as I gotta give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars for the effort but also because I am a huge fan of ‘Gingersquatch’!

Scream Test (Blu-ray) – Another horror project done in 2020 that starred Felissa Rose as Angie a popular actress who happens to damage her vocal chords on the set of an independent horror film. She is advised in getting as much rest as possible so her and her manager head to an island to heal up from her aliment. Small but a great resort island for the select few soon find themselves lining up to be killed one by one but the murders are playing out like scenes from Angie’s past features. The premise is pretty cool but this has that awkward feel from beginning to end that it was shot during COVID where everyone was uncertain what would, could be done, or should be, etc. Maybe done two years before this time we might be talking of this being some kind of direct-to-video gem but its awkwardness is what holds this project back. I only give it 2 stars but glad it’s finally available for horror fans to seek out.

Metalheads: The Good, The Bad, The Evil (DVD) – A Bill Zebub flick from 2008 where he writes, directs, and edits of course where his character Bill is kind of dumped by his girlfriend Elaine because he is always jobless! Elaine and Bill see things differently of course in their relationship especially after doing acid which sounded like a great idea to Elaine which takes up a large chunk of the film. It comes down to Elaine wanting more, believing she deserves more or at least someone better than Bill who is worried about himself more than anything else. For me this project had great music but a lot less plot than usual and that is saying something as I feel this film really doesn’t go anywhere other than promoting the cool music that is part of the soundtrack as I give it 1 out of 4 stars.

Rebirth (DVD) – This is a surprising 32 minute short film from a kid that plays every role in the film along with filming it all, very impressive! A young boy murders a friend then commits suicide after the event only to be found quickly by a neighbor. Five years pass before a person performs a ritual for the purpose to bring the young killer back to life. The killer awakes to slaughter all who are about to party in his old home. By no means is this project beyond wonderful but the kid who made it , Ben Gaudet was awesome putting this all together and makes it work. Hell I believe many people twice if not three times older could learn from this rough but fantastic independent project I gotta give 2 ½ out of 4 stars.    

Ganjasaurus Rex (DVD-R) – WTF Rutger Hauer is this project? In 1987 someone made only one feature ever in their life and it was this… A group of friends have a magically weed seed to grow amazing weed in the California mountains. Problem is the authorities are cracking down on weed growers (much weed raids from news coverage) Because of all the weed raids it seems a legendary dinosaur is chasing down this magical tree while haunting the North Coast of California sort of. The movie is completely absurd and batshit as how this didn’t become a cult classic as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Atomic Gorilla A Go-Go! (DVD) – A 60 minute feature from Douglas Waltz that made me laugh out loud quite a few times but also works as a cult thing from the past that is hard to explain to younger movie viewers. But a random gorilla is abducted by aliens as it doesn’t take long for it to escape their clutches as in return gains special powers that includes the gorilla getting laid even after being radioactive! When the gorilla isn’t being hunted by a bounty hunter the gorilla has some weird visions of an old dude whispering things to him. It was one of those train wrecks that viewers will find themselves unable to turn away while watching as for that I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Void (YouTube) – Yes folks we have made it to entry #69 in the series where this entry shouldn’t be taken lightly as if it wasn’t called “Amityville” I feel horror fans would have been sharing this film on YouTube more? But anyway three young brothers in this no budget found footage feature do a paranormal show decide to enter the Amityville house (no it’s not the real house and shame on some of yinz acting surprised in the comments of their YouTube channel and giving them crap). This no budget feature has the three brothers investigating and quickly finding strange things happening. Intrigued by their findings they want to keep going until they have made contact with the presence in the house, problem is the results are tragic for the three. Again if this wasn’t an Amityville title I could see the younger crowd trying to make this project go viral. If anything, we all should enjoy what was accomplished here and keep an eye out for more features from the group as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Ed Kemper (Tubi) – Movie is based on a true story of a serial killer named Ed Kemper from the early 70s that I never heard of but became quite intrigued after watching said movie. After killing his grandparents in the 60s he was released as an adult five years after saying he would be “completely fine adjusting to the world again”. Kemper at an early age claimed to be abused by his mother and constantly blames her for his murdering ways. Even after his release he went back to live with his mother who only escalated Ed’s sinister need to kill women. Kemper kept upping the ante with each murder as he took pictures of his work to look over later. The effects were kick ass, this serial killer was scary as shit knowing he existed, and they casted a really good look-a-like for this as I give the film 3 stars.

Savage Christmas (DVD) – An independent film from about a dozen years ago or so where a group of college aged people head out to the middle of nowhere for the Christmas holiday to a Bed and Breakfast joint of sorts. After making a quick stop at a crime scene as we all do one of them picks up an amulet that got a film crew slaughtered by a demonic presence! The creature uses this amulet to possess and kill inside the vacation spot during the holiday causing a large bloodbath all in the search for a virgin. The evil seems to be winning until dirty Santa Claus dude shows up to help what is left of the group to survive the X-mas nightmare. It looks fun, it feels fun, but seems to lose its way closer it got to the ending as I give this small project 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #680

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The Bogmanifest (DVD) – Filmmaker Mitch Laing has something to say about Cryptids with his 34 minute tale that takes place in 1907 Arkansas. Pretty much a Sasquatch creature has killed a couple of hunters from a small community near Indian land. Sheriff gets a hunting group together to track down this person or really this thing once everyone is on board that it wasn’t the work of Indians getting revenge against the white man. But fun fact even the Indians are afraid of this Bogman legend but respect it as the hunting party tracks this thing down they get more than they bargain for as the Bogman rips some of the hunting party to shreds. There are things that give this movie some legit charm even though it’s seems crudely put together at times. Mitch and crew just like Mark Polonia with ‘Once Upon a Time Amityville’ had a great location and knew exactly how to use it. Also not straight up calling it a Sasquatch monster as they give a different twist with  more stories to be told makes it for great entertainment for Bigfoot lovers as I give the monster project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Miracle of Violence (DVD) – Two guys hanging out at a movie theater are excited to sit down and check out their DV tapes to see what they got in this SOV anthology? First tape deals with two friends trying to walk home after a night of partying but something has followed them. Second tape deals with degenerates that keep drinking these slushies that are laced with drugs causing them to murder people. Next adventure is about YouTubers unboxing gone wrong because of what they were delivered from the ‘Dark Web’. The next tape deals with an unfortunate group of filmmakers getting behind the scenes footage in the woods and a random lunatic keeps shooting a gun begins to take aim at the group. Another tape has a couple old dudes fishing and discussing supposed ritualistic killings that took place at their fishing spot. And last one (unless you consider the wraparound of the two guys in the theater watching this) is about five friends who get their asses beaten down at a skate park but it only gets worse when werewolves arrive! This independent anthology has a unique feel as it comes off more like random videos taken by several people as they are trying to prove the existence of the supernatural or plain weird shit. A weird, but unique rough around the edges approach to an anthology that will have its fans as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars but would have given 3 out of 4 if the sound was more level from tape to tape and seen it edited down a few more minutes.

Strong Arm (DVD) – Anthony Moran’s first independent feature made in 2020 uses Detroit as the backdrop for everything that happens in this film. It centers on a war vet Jake Ramsey who has come back to his old stomping grounds to clean up after his sister who was left for dead in a random parking lot. Jake of course wants to go all ‘Death Wish’ on a local crime ring that is suspected of this horrific crime. The film is intense, brutal, and atmospheric but with the musical choices as the soundtrack along with Jake’s nightmares it only add to the film’s intensity as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Let Us In! (DVD) – Mr. Anthony Moran’s second feature comes off as ‘The Crazies’ and ‘Assault on Precinct 13’ had a baby in an alternate universe! This super wild film from 2022 has the government placing a “Shelter in Place” order all across Detroit on the emergency broadcast system as it is alerting residents to have no contact with the infected? As two people find themselves stranded they find a house where the person that lets them in doesn’t live there. After a long set up a gang called “Satan’s Keys” arrive at the home looking for the drugs they feel they are owed since their motorcycles were taken. This sets up for a blood filled battle between Satan’s Keys, the two individuals who are stranded at the home, and what lurks hidden in the house confines awaiting for its next slaughter. This all makes for a fun time for independent horror fans but it does feel incomplete in the end but not enough to take away from what Mr. Moran accomplished as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Clown in a Cornfield (Shudder) – Dr. Maybrook and his teenage daughter Quinn have arrived in Kettle Springs where Baypen Corn Syrup had originated at. A Midwest fly over town that is stuck in the 90s (referenced in the movie). The Baypen Factory burned down recently and a group of teenagers Quinn begins to hang out with are blamed by the town and its sheriff. Meanwhile this teenage group likes to pull pranks on each other with the clown mascot and load it up on YouTube. Things seem very innocent until a prank goes wrong at the Founders Day parade and the party that follows that evening where the group is locked out of a barn after clowns come out of the cornfield looking to slice and dice! Remember it’s all because Frendo the Clown and the town are a tradition to weed out the bad things in so many words. An excellent entertaining twist on the clown horror that will have fans watching multiple times as I give the film 3 ½ stars.     

Samhain (DVD) – Justin Freed aka bootleg Drew Marvick has escaped a facility as it goes up in flames to kill again. This no budget film pretty much goes for the jugular of a dude killing several people in a community wearing a clown mask but misses its target big time. The film felt cobbled together and not thought all the way through as it felt like they possibly were making it up as the camera filmed. Sorry I wish I could say something better about the project but I know what I watched as I can only give it 1 out of 4 stars.

Chainsaw Killer (DVD) – A 2001 Mark Polonia project that really doesn’t feel like a Polonia project as 15 years before a man kills himself with the tape from his VHS movie ‘The Force Beneath’. Now present day a madman with a chainsaw is running around a rural Pennsylvania town hacking people to pieces with the nickname “Chainsaw Killer”. This is all going on while an early YouTuber is hell bent on finding a rare copy of the movie ‘The Force Beneath’ even if it means stealing it out of handicapped dude’s garage. I believe there was a lot of reaching on making a connection between the two things that were happening in the film. Along with Mark Polonia most likely being a hired gun on a subpar script or he wasn’t given a whole lot of time to put this project together. No matter what the answer is this much lesser known Mark Polonia film is still floating out there for anybody interested in tracking down a copy as I can only give it 1 out of 4 stars.

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