Tag Archives: horror movies

Gross Movie Reviews #690

0
Posted on by

Infinite Santa 8000: Web Series (YouTube) – Before there was a full feature there was this holiday animated horror treat that was just mind blowing and thought it was time for a revisit for those of yinz that haven’t witnessed the awesomeness. The web series was conducted into 13 short episodes that ran a little over two minutes (a couple seconds less or more on a couple) paired with some bad ass thrashing music for the intro and outro. This story is set in a post-apocalyptic world a thousand years from now where all that is left is mutants and Robo people. Believed to be the only one left Santa lives a quiet life but he also must kill for food these days in order to survive these harsh future times. The mystical man is also a gun totting, machete wielding, flame throwing son of a bitch as mutants find ultimate death at his hands. But in a world with no hope a young girl named Martha comes into Santa’s life as they become quick friends. Unbeknownst to either Martha is a pawn used to get Santa out of hiding for an evil doctor to do experimentation on the fat jolly old fool for his magical powers of survival all these years. Santa and Martha escape the evil doctor’s clutches for now in search of a safe place in the wasteland but in this sadistic creature filled future there is nowhere to hide! The music is bad ass, the animation is wonderful, and after all these years the story still holds up as I always like to call this “Animated Santa in Mad Max world”. So this holiday season do yourself a favor and go watch this “FREE” web series on the YouTubes n’at to check out what some cool Indie folk did about 15 years ago as I give this project 4 out of 4 stars.

10/31 Part 4 (Blu-ray) – The popular Indie anthology series is back with a few stories and trailers to scare you. The first story called ‘Ejecdead’ focuses on a VHS tape brings a killer to life on Halloween when watched as a crazy horror fan tries to keep a Halloween tradition alive finds out the hard way after renting it. The second story ‘Haig’s Heart’ is about revenge as an owner of a chocolate bar factory gives away all his stock for Halloween as he poisoned it all. The third story ‘The Witch’s Curse’ revolves around sisters being witches and being slaughtered in 1969. Now their home has become part of a reality show for Halloween. The fourth story ‘Moonlight Massacre’ is about a young man being bitten by a werewolf then trying to deal with it. The trailers in-between stories were a lot of fun, my highlight of this whole project may have been ‘The Gravestalkers’ trailer as that looks to have a lot of potential if made into a feature? Anyhow everything was solid in this entire project but this anthology felt more forced than natural if it makes sense? Plus I have felt the last entry; Part 3 was the best of the bunch where everything finally came together. It’s possible this might be the time to put this Halloween tradition to bed as it may have run its course as I liked the effort this time around but this series may have peaked with the third film as I give this 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Hand that Feeds the Dead (Blu-ray) – This rare early 70s Euro film stars the infamous Klaus Kinski and up until recently was believed to be lost here in America until Full Moon gave it a proper release with subtitles over the past year or so. This time piece has a professor secluded to a mansion with his so-called wife where he kidnaps young women to perform experimental skin grafts to said wife in hopes of correcting her injuries she suffered in a fire ten years ago. As females from the village continue to disappear and a stranded couple at the mansion becomes curious with authorities Kinski’s character knows he must finish his work sooner than later. As usual Kinski is bigger than life on screen and sleazy as usual as this lost euro film will fill the black hearts of some horror fans as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Space Goblins (YouTube) – An animated short film that has a duo of space goblins who are bounty hunters that somehow feels like a lost idea from MTV’s ‘Liquid Television’ for those weirdos old enough to remember it. In this 26 minute galactic weirdness has the odd duo tracking down a criminal to a planet with a bar called “The Glory Pole” as long as they ain’t bitching about goblin life in space and paying taxes they always get their man or alien! An odd but hilarious project that could even be described as a dark episode of ‘Galaxy High’ Saturday morning cartoon as the space goblins scour the galaxy to bring in the crud for payment in hopes of bringing peace for all. This is a project has quite a lot of potential as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (Remake/Theater) – So this was the second time around for the 1984 classic to remade that caught myself and a lot of horror fans by surprise of being made. Of course being a huge fan of the original I had to see what the hell they were going to do this time around… and folks I really liked this one! Without trying to give things away because I feel this remake needs to be seen to be believed as the filmmaker and writers flipped this story on its head. What do I mean by this? They figured out how to pay homage to the original but at the same time understanding retelling of the original story just wouldn’t work these days. Best way to describe this film: Killer Santa somehow transforms into an anti-hero who at one point kills Nazis! Yes, folks all the elements of the original with Billy becoming a Killer Santa are there but they do it in such a glorious way for 2025 that we even get the famous line: “It’s Garbage Day”. This is one of those remakes that I am curious to see if it makes an impact enough for horror fans to enjoy two or three holiday seasons from now as that 2012 remake was solid but missed the point of the 1984 original. You gave me lots of blood, an odd take on Killer Santa that surprised me it worked, and finally a small town in a horror film where everyone is a POS, for that I cannot believe I am saying this I give this project 4 stars and wouldn’t be surprised it sneaks into my “top ten” for 2025. Horror fans seriously don’t miss out on seeing this film in the theaters it was a lot of fun!

The Mean One (Tubi) – Finally giving this a watch that is the horror version of ‘The Grinch’ oh I am sorry legally they are not allowed to call that as they call “it”, ‘The Green Monster’ or ‘The Mean One’. Cindy returns to her family home many years after her mother was supposedly killed by a green monster in a Santa suit on Christmas. With her appearance and wanting to celebrate Christmas in the town that doesn’t celebrate the holiday any longer she brings death as ‘The Green Monster’ reappears again. Of course the cops claim they don’t believe her and want Cindy to go away but after Cindy does training and becomes bootleg Lucy Lawless for a hot minute she is ready to go hunting for this creature. The film parodies ‘The Grinch’ from beginning to end but what I was looking for never happened unless you consider the green monster was supposed to be Santa Claus??? I wanted an explanation to this thing and how it existed, not a feature length horror parody that cannot legally use the name. I know it’s cruel but this was just above a large turd as I give it a ½ star.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #686

0
Posted on by

I:Scream – A Minty Musical (Blu-ray) – This independent feature might be the surprise of 2025 that movie fans have been looking for. In Aleen Isley’s directorial debut, Charlie a young scientist must fight off their own creation. Trying to woo the love of the young scientist’s life with chocolate chip mint ice cream it is unforeseen that a janitor later would accidentally cause a spill of Charlie’s animation formula into the ice cream that was left causing a major issue? The experimental formula brings the delicious green ice cream to life to immediately eat the janitor’s arm then cause chaos nearby as it grows to eat people in its path! Charlie with friends entrust a former ice cream man, “Old Man Reggie” to steer them to a solution in defeating this mutant ice cream problem. Along the way Miss Isley’s characters break out into song about the killer ice cream making this a lighthearted horror must see. Aleen Isley used all of her behind the scenes experience of several other projects to prove it is worth taking a chance to make something memorable and entertaining for your debut. She deserves to be congratulated in what she has accomplished even with a scene stealing David Dietz as “Old Man Reggie” as I give this feature 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Weed Hacker Massacre (Tubi) – The movie can get a little confusing on what exactly is going on but the basic premise of the project is about a killer named “Pokerface”. The Indie slasher can be hilarious in certain moments as a remake of a bad horror movie is being done ten years after. Supposedly the killer Pokerface was killing cast members on set during filming. So decade later the remake is happening with someone that survived and people are dying again but it is found out the murders are being done by the family who pretty much own the town. Again an odd and a little confusing concept but at times fun as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

A Mother’s Dying Wish (DVD) – A short film from a talented filmmaker named Jason Burke available on his ‘Nostalgic Nightmare Productions Movie Collection Volume 2’ that was made for the 48 Hour Film Project. Siblings get together trying to face the fact their mother has passed away as their mother got them to this meeting with a letter. They discuss, argue, etc. but that’s when the fun begins as none of them understand until it is too late this was a part of their mother’s plan for them after death as I give the short film 4 out of 4 stars.

Amityville La Llorona (YouTube) – Welcome to entry #72 of the long running horror series that has no signs of stopping as I will always keep watching. This installment comes off funny to me as I honestly believe this film had another title but at last minute someone used the “Amityville” title to get more eyes on it in some weird way. All of the film is one location where a couple argues over a recent death and what it has done to them? During their 65 minute argument or film in this case a demon comes to visit to wreak havoc on the couple. The biggest problem with this entry was I found it boring and literally this where my theory on why this wasn’t originally an Amityville project but a project with the title slapped on it after the fact. No matter what I give this 0 out of 4 stars.

Until Dawn (Blu-ray) – Maybe one of the bigger surprises in horror for me in 2025 is this project based on a more recent video game of where Clover and friends go retracing Clover’s sister Mel’s steps one year later. After directions from a gas station attendant they come to an old ‘visitor center’ for a town that doesn’t exist anymore. The group investigates the building then quickly they all are savagely killed. They all wake up again at the place to do it again, again, again, night after night until they can find a way to survive until dawn. As the nights go on the murders become even more brutal than the night before but the group slowly picks up on the details of what can help them before it’s too late. This is all because an experiment linked to a massive mining accident twenty years before. I quite enjoyed how much fun this horror movie actually was as I give it 3 stars.

Bring Her Back (Blu-ray) – Step siblings are forced to be with a foster parent after their father died unexpectingly in the shower. Piper and Andy fight to stay together and they are given a chance with a reliable foster parent in Laura who used to work for the system. Once at their new residence Andy feels something is off as they meet another child Oliver as the kid acts very off is the best way to put it. The plan for the duo is get through the next few months where Andy will be allowed to apply for guardianship of Piper. But Laura has other plans as she sneaks around in attempt to separate the step siblings as Oliver is always the reason for the plan. As time goes on all involved understand Ollie cannot be controlled any longer and the step siblings figure out they are part of some dark ritual of moving a soul. This slow burn of a horror film isn’t perfect but enjoyable as it presents the lengths of a mother will go to bring her daughter back to life as I give this project 3 stars.

Return of the Corn Zombies (Tubi) – The sequel to mid-west zombie outbreak film is here and once again casted with some very talented Indie folk. The outbreak is not slowing as this project follows a band of survivors traveling across the country looking for a so-called “Paradise”? They want somewhere they do not have to run from or fight for their lives daily. Along the way they meet a young lady who believes they can find what they might be looking for at “Homestead” or their paradise after a long trek to what they thought was safe but was no longer. When they arrive in this safe place they find it to be weird, peaceful, but a little secretive. This farming community has its reasons to be secretive as nothing is what it seems as this family running Homestead have found a way to survive and do not like outsiders as they believe only in family. The film has a great cast again, the film’s beginning is just absolutely fun with its ‘Day of the Dead’ vibe and music, and I quite enjoyed they just didn’t decide to do the same movie all over again. Don’t sleep on this independent zombie project and go support it as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Addy and Andy (Blu-ray) – A no budget 12 episode show from Addison Binek and Andrew Hansom about two young men living together and what antics they get themselves into. Think of an unfiltered but professionally shot sitcom or long skit of two dudes in their early twenties trying to figure out life but mostly like to entertain themselves when together. Some of my laugh out loud episodes involve the movie CHUD, the duo trying not to let the other see they are drinking, The Del Taco episode, and the vampire of course. All the episodes are hilarious but had to point those out as I believe this creation comes off natural and wouldn’t be surprised two young dudes with no camera and living together would be doing these things? I know I would have and for that I am delighted to give this must see project 4 out of 4 stars. What is even better is the episodes are an average of less than ten minutes making it an easy watch but more importantly easy for rewatches on a regular basis.

Amityville Chupacabra (YouTube) – So for entry #73 a team of scientists has captured a mysterious creature/Cryptid for experimentation at the Amityville Labs. Unsure where their experiments should go next because of the creature’s unrest the creature finds a way to escape and begins hunting down people in the labs. Reinforcements are called in to recapture the creature but the scientists understand they are now very expendable because of the escape the project is going to be taken over. I like this concept for a cheesy monster movie entry into the Amityville series but felt a different location and just more blood because it is a cheesy monster concept would have helped this entry as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Zombies (YouTube) – Moving on to entry #74 without warning this one is an anthology of Amityville zombie films in various lengths. Shawn Phillips who has made several entries has found an unmarked video tape at a thrift store and while watching the tape changes him into a zombie. On the tape is these projects hosted by the lovely and talented Dr. Boobenstein aka Rebecca Rinehart. All the films long or short take place around the New York area. First half of the film is a very serious zombie segment called ‘District Dead’ about a YouTuber witnessing a zombie outbreak and six months later he is recording what is left. In the middle are a couple non-serious zombie shorts then the second half is made up of two brothers surviving the zombie onslaught in the New York area? It is a different concept but what hurts it is the first film ‘District Dead’ runs about 37 minutes or so and literally could have stood on its own. This project sets the tone of the anthology and the segments that follow it just don’t fit with it in my opinion. This attempt isn’t a bad idea by any means the anthology just feels like oil and water and believe something else other than ‘District Dead’ would have been a better fit for the better of the anthology. ‘District Dead’ is something that should have been released on its own for the benefit of both projects as I give this entry 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #684

0
Posted on by

Baron Morbid’s Basement of Mediocrity (DVD) – A horror host and his assistant had been doing this show for a while as they decide to show their own feature… ‘Spawn of Sasquatch’. They put together two of Douglas Waltz’s features for a fun picture shown in edited form. Something that used to be done years ago at the drive-in, etc., but they get into that during introduction. They smash the titles ‘Gingersquatch’ (which is quality viewing by the way) and (I believe) ‘Infinite Clown War’ or thirty minutes or so of each project together to make one film for a hilarious combo for their show. Think public access show feel and its tongue-in-cheek process is throwback random stuff I would find in the early 90s on late night cable as I gotta give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars for the effort but also because I am a huge fan of ‘Gingersquatch’!

Scream Test (Blu-ray) – Another horror project done in 2020 that starred Felissa Rose as Angie a popular actress who happens to damage her vocal chords on the set of an independent horror film. She is advised in getting as much rest as possible so her and her manager head to an island to heal up from her aliment. Small but a great resort island for the select few soon find themselves lining up to be killed one by one but the murders are playing out like scenes from Angie’s past features. The premise is pretty cool but this has that awkward feel from beginning to end that it was shot during COVID where everyone was uncertain what would, could be done, or should be, etc. Maybe done two years before this time we might be talking of this being some kind of direct-to-video gem but its awkwardness is what holds this project back. I only give it 2 stars but glad it’s finally available for horror fans to seek out.

Metalheads: The Good, The Bad, The Evil (DVD) – A Bill Zebub flick from 2008 where he writes, directs, and edits of course where his character Bill is kind of dumped by his girlfriend Elaine because he is always jobless! Elaine and Bill see things differently of course in their relationship especially after doing acid which sounded like a great idea to Elaine which takes up a large chunk of the film. It comes down to Elaine wanting more, believing she deserves more or at least someone better than Bill who is worried about himself more than anything else. For me this project had great music but a lot less plot than usual and that is saying something as I feel this film really doesn’t go anywhere other than promoting the cool music that is part of the soundtrack as I give it 1 out of 4 stars.

Rebirth (DVD) – This is a surprising 32 minute short film from a kid that plays every role in the film along with filming it all, very impressive! A young boy murders a friend then commits suicide after the event only to be found quickly by a neighbor. Five years pass before a person performs a ritual for the purpose to bring the young killer back to life. The killer awakes to slaughter all who are about to party in his old home. By no means is this project beyond wonderful but the kid who made it , Ben Gaudet was awesome putting this all together and makes it work. Hell I believe many people twice if not three times older could learn from this rough but fantastic independent project I gotta give 2 ½ out of 4 stars.    

Ganjasaurus Rex (DVD-R) – WTF Rutger Hauer is this project? In 1987 someone made only one feature ever in their life and it was this… A group of friends have a magically weed seed to grow amazing weed in the California mountains. Problem is the authorities are cracking down on weed growers (much weed raids from news coverage) Because of all the weed raids it seems a legendary dinosaur is chasing down this magical tree while haunting the North Coast of California sort of. The movie is completely absurd and batshit as how this didn’t become a cult classic as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Atomic Gorilla A Go-Go! (DVD) – A 60 minute feature from Douglas Waltz that made me laugh out loud quite a few times but also works as a cult thing from the past that is hard to explain to younger movie viewers. But a random gorilla is abducted by aliens as it doesn’t take long for it to escape their clutches as in return gains special powers that includes the gorilla getting laid even after being radioactive! When the gorilla isn’t being hunted by a bounty hunter the gorilla has some weird visions of an old dude whispering things to him. It was one of those train wrecks that viewers will find themselves unable to turn away while watching as for that I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Amityville Void (YouTube) – Yes folks we have made it to entry #69 in the series where this entry shouldn’t be taken lightly as if it wasn’t called “Amityville” I feel horror fans would have been sharing this film on YouTube more? But anyway three young brothers in this no budget found footage feature do a paranormal show decide to enter the Amityville house (no it’s not the real house and shame on some of yinz acting surprised in the comments of their YouTube channel and giving them crap). This no budget feature has the three brothers investigating and quickly finding strange things happening. Intrigued by their findings they want to keep going until they have made contact with the presence in the house, problem is the results are tragic for the three. Again if this wasn’t an Amityville title I could see the younger crowd trying to make this project go viral. If anything, we all should enjoy what was accomplished here and keep an eye out for more features from the group as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Ed Kemper (Tubi) – Movie is based on a true story of a serial killer named Ed Kemper from the early 70s that I never heard of but became quite intrigued after watching said movie. After killing his grandparents in the 60s he was released as an adult five years after saying he would be “completely fine adjusting to the world again”. Kemper at an early age claimed to be abused by his mother and constantly blames her for his murdering ways. Even after his release he went back to live with his mother who only escalated Ed’s sinister need to kill women. Kemper kept upping the ante with each murder as he took pictures of his work to look over later. The effects were kick ass, this serial killer was scary as shit knowing he existed, and they casted a really good look-a-like for this as I give the film 3 stars.

Savage Christmas (DVD) – An independent film from about a dozen years ago or so where a group of college aged people head out to the middle of nowhere for the Christmas holiday to a Bed and Breakfast joint of sorts. After making a quick stop at a crime scene as we all do one of them picks up an amulet that got a film crew slaughtered by a demonic presence! The creature uses this amulet to possess and kill inside the vacation spot during the holiday causing a large bloodbath all in the search for a virgin. The evil seems to be winning until dirty Santa Claus dude shows up to help what is left of the group to survive the X-mas nightmare. It looks fun, it feels fun, but seems to lose its way closer it got to the ending as I give this small project 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #680

0
Posted on by

The Bogmanifest (DVD) – Filmmaker Mitch Laing has something to say about Cryptids with his 34 minute tale that takes place in 1907 Arkansas. Pretty much a Sasquatch creature has killed a couple of hunters from a small community near Indian land. Sheriff gets a hunting group together to track down this person or really this thing once everyone is on board that it wasn’t the work of Indians getting revenge against the white man. But fun fact even the Indians are afraid of this Bogman legend but respect it as the hunting party tracks this thing down they get more than they bargain for as the Bogman rips some of the hunting party to shreds. There are things that give this movie some legit charm even though it’s seems crudely put together at times. Mitch and crew just like Mark Polonia with ‘Once Upon a Time Amityville’ had a great location and knew exactly how to use it. Also not straight up calling it a Sasquatch monster as they give a different twist with  more stories to be told makes it for great entertainment for Bigfoot lovers as I give the monster project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Miracle of Violence (DVD) – Two guys hanging out at a movie theater are excited to sit down and check out their DV tapes to see what they got in this SOV anthology? First tape deals with two friends trying to walk home after a night of partying but something has followed them. Second tape deals with degenerates that keep drinking these slushies that are laced with drugs causing them to murder people. Next adventure is about YouTubers unboxing gone wrong because of what they were delivered from the ‘Dark Web’. The next tape deals with an unfortunate group of filmmakers getting behind the scenes footage in the woods and a random lunatic keeps shooting a gun begins to take aim at the group. Another tape has a couple old dudes fishing and discussing supposed ritualistic killings that took place at their fishing spot. And last one (unless you consider the wraparound of the two guys in the theater watching this) is about five friends who get their asses beaten down at a skate park but it only gets worse when werewolves arrive! This independent anthology has a unique feel as it comes off more like random videos taken by several people as they are trying to prove the existence of the supernatural or plain weird shit. A weird, but unique rough around the edges approach to an anthology that will have its fans as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars but would have given 3 out of 4 if the sound was more level from tape to tape and seen it edited down a few more minutes.

Strong Arm (DVD) – Anthony Moran’s first independent feature made in 2020 uses Detroit as the backdrop for everything that happens in this film. It centers on a war vet Jake Ramsey who has come back to his old stomping grounds to clean up after his sister who was left for dead in a random parking lot. Jake of course wants to go all ‘Death Wish’ on a local crime ring that is suspected of this horrific crime. The film is intense, brutal, and atmospheric but with the musical choices as the soundtrack along with Jake’s nightmares it only add to the film’s intensity as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Let Us In! (DVD) – Mr. Anthony Moran’s second feature comes off as ‘The Crazies’ and ‘Assault on Precinct 13’ had a baby in an alternate universe! This super wild film from 2022 has the government placing a “Shelter in Place” order all across Detroit on the emergency broadcast system as it is alerting residents to have no contact with the infected? As two people find themselves stranded they find a house where the person that lets them in doesn’t live there. After a long set up a gang called “Satan’s Keys” arrive at the home looking for the drugs they feel they are owed since their motorcycles were taken. This sets up for a blood filled battle between Satan’s Keys, the two individuals who are stranded at the home, and what lurks hidden in the house confines awaiting for its next slaughter. This all makes for a fun time for independent horror fans but it does feel incomplete in the end but not enough to take away from what Mr. Moran accomplished as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Clown in a Cornfield (Shudder) – Dr. Maybrook and his teenage daughter Quinn have arrived in Kettle Springs where Baypen Corn Syrup had originated at. A Midwest fly over town that is stuck in the 90s (referenced in the movie). The Baypen Factory burned down recently and a group of teenagers Quinn begins to hang out with are blamed by the town and its sheriff. Meanwhile this teenage group likes to pull pranks on each other with the clown mascot and load it up on YouTube. Things seem very innocent until a prank goes wrong at the Founders Day parade and the party that follows that evening where the group is locked out of a barn after clowns come out of the cornfield looking to slice and dice! Remember it’s all because Frendo the Clown and the town are a tradition to weed out the bad things in so many words. An excellent entertaining twist on the clown horror that will have fans watching multiple times as I give the film 3 ½ stars.     

Samhain (DVD) – Justin Freed aka bootleg Drew Marvick has escaped a facility as it goes up in flames to kill again. This no budget film pretty much goes for the jugular of a dude killing several people in a community wearing a clown mask but misses its target big time. The film felt cobbled together and not thought all the way through as it felt like they possibly were making it up as the camera filmed. Sorry I wish I could say something better about the project but I know what I watched as I can only give it 1 out of 4 stars.

Chainsaw Killer (DVD) – A 2001 Mark Polonia project that really doesn’t feel like a Polonia project as 15 years before a man kills himself with the tape from his VHS movie ‘The Force Beneath’. Now present day a madman with a chainsaw is running around a rural Pennsylvania town hacking people to pieces with the nickname “Chainsaw Killer”. This is all going on while an early YouTuber is hell bent on finding a rare copy of the movie ‘The Force Beneath’ even if it means stealing it out of handicapped dude’s garage. I believe there was a lot of reaching on making a connection between the two things that were happening in the film. Along with Mark Polonia most likely being a hired gun on a subpar script or he wasn’t given a whole lot of time to put this project together. No matter what the answer is this much lesser known Mark Polonia film is still floating out there for anybody interested in tracking down a copy as I can only give it 1 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #672

0
Posted on by

Operation Undead (Amazon) – A Thai zombie flick without it being called a zombie film that is set in a fictional story set during true events of World War II. The Japanese army is advancing their way into China and India and wants to find an island where they can use their new experimental biological weapon. The Japanese government and Thai governments meet for peaceful negotiations to allow the Japanese army travel through but the experiment has already landed at an island and it is ravaging the island quickly as police and military assess the damage. Now with the Fumetsu virus out there the Japanese scientists want live specimens for further experimentation but that is being hindered by how quickly the virus is spreading among the islanders. The virus turns the victims into cannibals who can of course infect others but is allowing them to still have brain function to think and see who is human and non-human. The Japanese convince Thai officials they must act quickly to contain this virus. A fun twist for horror fans in this genre to decide if it’s a true zombie flick but also entertaining and enjoyable for the back drop the story is set in as I give the film 3 stars.

What Scares You (DVD-R) – All around talented individual Jason Burke’s latest short film comes off as a bootleg early Nick at Nite one-off from the early 90s that has four friends checking out an old house as they plan to stay the night? The friends challenge each other to speak about “what scares them” along with some tense conversation unknowingly that their fears are about to haunt them. One by one the friends die from what they fear most but before you make judgment on what appears to be hey “I have seen this several times before”, the evil twist is what makes for some scary fun to enjoy as I give the Mr. Burke’s latest 3 out of 4 stars.

Violent Streets (DVD-R) – Another not released yet feature from Indy filmmaker Brad Sykes has unearthed another exciting project he made around 1994! This ambitious project isn’t so much a horror movie as its gang picture on no budget in the vein of 70s and 80s high school gang films. There are two small gangs who were friends at one point but now see things differently as they constantly battle for the upper hand on the other. It becomes personal when one of the battles between Orin and Kane is over a young woman Sara to see who gets to have her for their prize. But Sara isn’t having any of it even though her pals think she is just getting herself in more trouble of not going along with it. Now Orin and Sara must be on the run as this gang war is about to turn deadly. For no budget this was a very ambitious project but Sykes makes up with its gritty SOV style that gives the content a certain charm as the heart of the actors just going for it take after take makes for a very watchable piece of cinema that I give 3 out of 4 stars.

Version 1.0.0

Killer Kabbage (DVD) – In a not so serious futuristic film with a hilarious concept has scientists in present day 2024 trying to solve the world’s food crisis with experiments on veggies, mostly cabbages! But 200 years in the future the world is a wasteland where a duo of Cage and Gibson look to survive by hunting killer veggies until they are approached by a government droid. The droid instructs the duo to head to a secret location as they are recruited as mankind’s last hope because of radioactivity reasons! The mission is to time travel to 2024, find the original experimental cabbage, and bring back a sample that started this apocalyptic war between killer cabbages and humans. Once the duo time travels and adjusts to present day of 2024 the fight is on as there is limited time before the war begins as they quickly find out the experiments are already out of control! This feels like a lost project from the early 90s from J.R. Bookwalter or the Polonia Brothers with a ‘Bad CGI Sharks’ vibe to it and I absolutely freakin loved it! Don’t be surprised if this pops up on my “Best of 2025 list” as this Indy feature had me laughing out loud several times as I give it 4 out of 4 stars as you had me at Killer Kabbage.

The Psychic (Tubi) – The 1977 Lucio Fulci film is also known as ‘Seven Notes in Black’ as this was a first time watch for me of Fulci’s early work. A young woman Virginia had a vision of her mother committing suicide at a young age and now has had a vision of a woman murdered then buried in the wall of a home. Virginia goes to see her therapist also ex-dude to speak of it being something more but it’s her ex-dude. Problem the home happens to be her new hubby’s house and the cops arrest him on suspicion. Virginia complains to the authorities that there gotta be more to this so she takes to doing her own snooping and heads down a rabbit hole of trying to prove her hubby’s innocence. As Virginia gets deeper in the rabbit hole she begins to have more visions that come true leader her to the killer. For me this piece of Fulci work had more filler than killer but sure there is fans of this project as I give it 2 stars.

City of the Dead (Shudder) – A young college girl in Nan Barlow heads to Whitewood, Mass, to research witchcraft on the advice of her professor (Christopher Lee) so she can turn in a great term paper. Nan’s interest is peaked once she enters this hard to find village and believes she needs to dig into the past immediately. The history of the village is they burned a witch at the stake who cursed all there and Nan is warned to leave quickly by the local priest as he claims evil owns the village and has for hundreds of years. Not long after that Nan goes missing without her professor being too upset by it but her boyfriend and brother soon try to turn the village upside down looking for Nan as the witches are not happy as they may ruin their ritual. Might not be the best of the witch horror films but it is intriguing with Christopher Lee playing the professor who seems to know all that is going on as I give the film 2 stars.

The Temptress (DVD) – An early film project from a young Jeff Kirkendall at the time in 2000-2002 that also includes a short film ‘3 to Murder’ that is a prequel but we will get to that in a bit. The story is about three women who are vampires trying to live life quietly among humans until Angelique shows up demanding the presence of her “first one” Rachel. Angelique and her minions refuse to allow the three to live their undead loves peacefully as she has never gotten over Rachel for not believing in her vamp ways. The project is definitely very rough around the edges and a product of the time in independent cinema at that time but it’s clear you can see Jeff Kirkendall and Tim Hatch were going to be building a relationship in films for a long time coming. Plus the short film (40 minutes) ‘3 to Murder’, the prequel sheds a lot more light on the  story in ‘The Temptress’ that includes a deleted scene that answered a big question for me after watching both. I am gonna guess reasoning behind the short film and the feature is: one, wanted to see if they can do it with what they had? Second, might be Jeff might have made an executive decision that if kept the short and feature together they would be too long and viewers would tune out? Third, breaking them up Charles Band style for more content?  No matter what it is an always fun finding an early project from Indy filmmakers you respect and see where or how far they have come as I give ‘The Temptress’ 2 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Amityville… Now 65 Entries… I Am Still Fascinated… And Still Waiting For More? (Part Two)

2
Posted on by

So folks I return to talk the topic of all topics among horror movie fans, ‘Amityville’. I thought I would be writing this six months down the road but I got sidetracked (three years and 29 entries later). Unlike the ‘Witchcraft’ and ‘Bloodfist’ franchises this is taking more time than I thought it would. First time around I questioned if this was an actual franchise? Maybe taking a second look at it, it could be considered the longest running Indy franchise unless you are even a bigger weirdo than me and bring up the reinvented series ‘Camp Blood’ or ‘Things’ but that is a whole other weirdo conversation we can tackle another time. (Gimme a two week period I will track them all down and watch them) So how have I been since tracked down new entries or how has my life changed since I decided to tackle this film series? Well, I am still demented and completely fascinated with this franchise! But a weird thing has happened on social media to me as I have gotten pulled into rando discussions about the ‘Amityville’ series discussing: how many there actually is, what constitutes an entry, to why I still hate Mt. Misery Road? Point is somehow I have become an “expert” on the ‘Amityville’ series and let’s use that term loosely as it is such a hard thing to explain. The one thing I can explain is why I number the entries as too many people are “trying to be the smartest person in the room or on said social media platform” are counting entries that are never made or hell they are not even watching them. Which not watching the film but doing some kind of review is just a weird thing if you are keeping track? And why? And should we seek you some help as I don’t feel like a complete lunatic when pointing that out. (You may laugh now as that part of the rant is done.)

     Anyway, before I completely lose focus I wanted to write this article because once again the series has slowed down again but is gearing up for a shitload of potential releases in the next six to eight months including myself, my brother “Famous Actor” Tom Gross, and super talented filmmaker Maddie Deering starting production on: Amityville Fishing Hole and Amityville Neighbor. Weird things have happened in these movies being produced… like are there actual physical copies? Are they even streaming? Why only a select few people have seen it? And most of all if finished why didn’t said person or persons release it to a physical format or streaming platform believe me there is much shitter entries out there! Examples: Tea Bag – The same person that gave us Amityville Frankenstein and Elevator supposedly filmed this entry and its two years old? Another filmmaker claimed to have a film called Amityville Poo already finished or almost finished and that was in 2022? Another title that baffles me is Amityville Sharkhouse… why? Well Shawn Phillips has produced six, seven entries already mostly released by SRS Cinema so why not this film that is again two years old now but not seen by anybody except in this inner West Coast circle of Indy people. And let’s not even get into the subgenre of these most likely shot for YouTube ‘Amityville’ flicks but good luck finding them such as Subhuman: The Amityville Experiment, Amityville Versus Galactic Samurai School Girls from Outer Space, Amityville Webcam. There are pictures, promotion for them all over Google but who the Rutger Hauer actually knows these exist… until I watch them.

     Here is a summarized version of some of the entries I have watched since the last article with a few comments and of course all the reviews can be seen at www.grossmoviereviews.com

Amityville: In Space which helped Mark Polonia go viral but I was critical of because he has done better!

Amityville Thanksgiving was just such a boring letdown.

Amityville Scarecrow 2… simply did we actually need a sequel?

Amityville Karen was dead in the water before it even got out there because of its societal reference which there is reasons a project I was going to co-direct and co-produced called Amityville She-shed was a joke for 15 minutes and we smarten up quickly… But that stop me from writing a prequel and turning into a ‘massacre’ story of course.

There was a Quilt Store, a ride-share, a 1977 film renamed under an Amityville title, a curse from Tubi streaming app which jumped into the series feet first, a sad attempt at an Emmanuelle film, a sequel into the ‘Death Toilet’ series, a job interview, Frankenstein, a haunted elevator that almost bored me to death, a bloodbath from a teenager in Florida, A.I. (with a sequel coming) and a Jack the Ripper entry that a solid cast but the filmmaker made the mistake believing he could make a Deadpool entry?

But let me pull yinz back in as then some of the more recent entries got serious, like they got for the love of Rutger Hauer interesting with some real thought behind the entry…

Like entry #59 called The Last Amityville Movie which was one of the most interesting watches as a filmmaker for not much money decided to have a haunted doorknob, a second pandemic, and a way to put an end to the series! Very interesting and creative I must say.

Another entry was about a haunted backpack. It sounds so dumb but found myself not able to turn it off.

Did I happen to mention there was also a sequel to Amityville Thanksgiving called Turkey Day that I questioned if it was an actual movie or just a mess someone threw out there?

Oh yeah there was the Bigfoot entry, I wanted it to be better.

But the two entries that stood out possibly the most besides The Last Amityville Movie was: Once Upon a Time in Amityville which I felt Mark Polonia and crew really did a great job of giving Amityville an origin story but no one even speaks of it. Mark deserves kudos for the mere reason of actually giving a backstory to a series of films that don’t even make a lick of sense. This is where the legendary Mark Polonia shows off his talent not in the entry (In Space) where the internet lost its mind for a week knowing it exists. The second entry would be Amityville Christmas Vacation of course. The ultra-talented Steve Rudzinski literally won a Fango award for it! What more needs to be said other than it starring amazing talents Aleen Isley and Ben Dietels. (Honestly, this was Steve just showing off. Where other filmmakers struggle with the Amityville subject, Steve knew exactly how to make it not just watchable but a holiday treat that many fans have put it into their holiday to watch pile every year now next to a ‘Black Christmas’.

And now folks we get to the stinker of the bunch. The only entry that has gotten close to me saying it is so bad it was as bad as Amityville Mt. Misery Road. That entry is Amityville: Where the Echo Lives that I dare you to watch with Mt. Misery Road and unless you are a complete loon like me you will most likely just stab yourself in the eyeballs! Amityville: Where the Echo Lives went into actual theaters for a weekend? Yep, let that sink in as there are legit bad ass horror films that no one hears about that if they are lucky Shudder finds them and then we scooped this shit. Really Hollywood, not to be critical or anything.

     What is next for me as I keep waiting for the next entry? Did I happen to mention there is an entry called Amityville Leprechaun that is on again in production (now five years and counting)? Or Amityville Barbi in production or Amityville Pool Toy Massacre coming or Amityville Aliens, honestly kids if you lasted this long reading an article about me rambling about Amityville films the answer is going to be me being me. I am going to be that guy that will watch bad movies. Always keep track of Amityville films. Support but be critical at times of Indy stuff. Or simply put I will always be Tim Gross and thank you reading.

Wanna help support?

Please come to Grossfest 2025, August 1&2 (check out www.grossfest.com for more info) where you can meet independent actors, artists, authors, and filmmakers. Plus hear me rant about the Amityville series!

Gross Movie Reviews #667

0
Posted on by

The Slasher Nurse (Film Freeway) – Twenty years ago two girls (Piper and Grace) go to what they believe is an abandon house that looks really cool for their movie shoot. But the girls find out they are not alone as some of their friends play a prank that has Piper locked in a trunk when they are run off the property by an old man. Her brother finds her later only to be stabbed in a fit of rage by accident by Piper. Fast forward twenty years and the friends all work together exception for Piper who happens to be at the Blue Ridge Facility. Grace, friends, and work friends are all going away for the weekend but old wounds are reopened when Evan who is blamed for the prank gone wrong shows up before the weekend gets started. If that wasn’t enough the same evening Piper who hasn’t said much for years has escaped the hospital and has already created a murderous path to Grace and friends. The film is an interesting “prank goes wrong” flick with some nice gory kills that includes a death by lawnmower. Plus what will help writer/director to get film distribution are the appearances of popular horror stars: Felissa Rose, Diana Prince, and Jim Krut. Even though Kerr gives it a fun touch of bringing some freshness to the slasher genre its main flaw is the 107 minute running time that could easily be trimmed down to 88-90 minute time frame but that is for another conversation. But Kerr’s saving grace (no pun intended) is the twist he gave to his horror feature as I give the feature 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Shizzly Grark (Fawesome) – Yes folks, half bear/half shark Cryptid that a small town claims is real? Kids doing a senior film project on this thing wanna prove that it is a thing of fiction, urban legend but they disappear before the project is finished. This is the found footage, interviews and experience of seeing this mysterious creature. The movie did a smart by keeping it under an hour and keeping the pacing non-stop but the real highlight in this mess about the fictional creature is “The Mummy” being interviewed on his thoughts… downright hilarious! The movie is a complete terrible mess but should have enough charm to keep you entertained and not disappointed you watched it as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Booger (DVD) – The film is from 2023 but just hit all the streaming sites and is a complete turd! Anna loses her best friend Izzy who helped take care of this stray cat. Shortly after Izzy’s death the cat supposedly bites Anna, disappears, and Anna slowly goes through changes including her depression for her dead friend. Anna completely ignores her boyfriend, job, and life in general looking for this cat named ‘Booger’. The film is listed as a horror/comedy and I neither laughed nor seen anything horrifying other than wasting my fuckin 78 minutes watching it. A stupid young twenty something wants to act like a cat and at the end all is fine? This passes for some kind of a movie? I have seen movies that don’t even try but this so-called movie is insulting Indy filmmaking in general as this of course gets nothing except for already winning the award for being the worst film I have watched already in 2025. Sorry it’s not Meta, it’s not ironic, and it’s just fucking dumb!        

Pandemic Thirst (Blu-ray) – Chris Woods and a talented cast put together a quick 64 minute film that revolves around 2020s Covid-19 and how it affects vampires. The film opens with Covid just hitting as people scramble to get home before everything closes down for a period of time as humans are about to deal with a horrible virus worse than vampires. During the early days of this pandemic Cynthia is on the run and sick with nowhere to turn a beautiful vampire Willow happens to find her. They share a hotel room and instead of Willow feeding on Cynthia she chooses to turn her. But there is a catch as the virus may have already been in Cynthia’s blood and for some unknown reason it has actually made Willow terribly sick as vampires have survived plagues and viruses long before this. Simply put this is an interesting concept that has that “SyFy Channel Saturday Night vibe” but done ‘The Sleaze Box’ way with Sushii Xhyvette Holder just being an absolute fun bad ass as she hits it out of the park with this role. Like Mr. Woods or not I do respect what he did with this concept and gotta give this entertaining Indy vamp flick 3 out of 4 stars.

Eat and Run (YouTube) – A mid-80s oddity from New World Pictures where an alien lands on Earth that enjoys eating Italian… Eye-talian people that is! A detective McSorely (Ron Silver) who works for the NYPD and talks like he is describing his character’s actions in a book at all times sees the impossible which this huge thing eating Italians and has to convince his boss that aliens exist. With the police force believing McSorely is nuts, he’s on his own to bring in this maniac alien with an appetite. There is some terrible 80s jokes and along with the alien cuckolding Ron Silver’s character but that doesn’t stop McSorely bringing the alien to justice as the film doesn’t really have an ending as I give the bad attempt at comedy 1 ½ stars.

Behind the Walls (Blu-ray) – A family moves into an old house with the intention of course to call it theirs and fix it up along with the broken family relationship. All members feel like there is something off about the house but of course since they are white decide to stay only to find out the hard way the house has an evil presence that has decided to keep them there. Which by the way the evil presence in the home is played by bootleg toxic waste dude from Robocop. The movie come off like a family drama than horror film as from beginning to end the movie just moves at a disjointed pace. Horror fans yinz are not missing much here as I can only give it 1 star.

The Nature of the Beast (Tubi) – A mid-90s Victor Salva flick where two very different men (Jack and Adrian) keep crossing paths in small desert towns. One stole a good bit of money from a casino and the other is a cold hearted serial killer. Both use each other as cover until they reach a breaking point that doesn’t end well for one as it stars the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen and Eric Roberts. Sounds good on paper, two solid performers, but something just doesn’t feel right from the beginning as I can only give this feature 2 stars.

Heart Eyes (On Demand) – It is Valentine’s Day and in the past two years there has been a murder spree in Boston and Philadelphia that the serial killer has been named the “Heart Eyes Killer”. Now set in Seattle the Heart Eyes Killer has set his sights on this city where once again he will look for couples to kill as he did the past two years on this lovely holiday. Best way to describe this latest slasher feature is ‘Scream meets a RomCom’ made for people under the age of 24. Now while I say that this isn’t a terrible movie by any means that most likely will be the ‘My Bloody Valentine’ for the new generation of horror fans? But this might be the first film in quite a while that was literally targeting a very specific group of horror fans to start a franchise. You see the ending coming a mile away and plus you’ll understand why I said ‘Scream’ as I give this interesting let’s say ‘test subject for the young-ins’ 2 stars.  

Trail Cam Sasquatch (Fawesome) – Something strange has been going on in the woods of Central, Pa., in fall of 2024 as UFO sightings are almost reported daily but what comes along with that is Sasquatch sightings. Trail cams in the woods have been snapping a photo daily of this mysterious creature but to no avail it stays elusive from authorities. So a small hunting party plans to go into the woods for the weekend to capture the elusive creature unless Tim Hatch’s character is trapped in a bathroom taking the morning grumpy? But the only thing this small hunting party finds is a young injured woman lost in the woods that brings the wrath of not just one Sasquatch but many! Tim Hatch’s character keeps the horror light in this Polonia feature but entertaining as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

The Girl Who Wore Yellow Lace (Tubi) – This feature feels like Mark Polonia goes way out of his comfort zone to bring a giallo to his resume. I knew I was in for something different from the legendary Indy filmmaker when the Polonia usuals only had bit parts in this feature. A young model Arianna is convince to join a modeling agency as she wants to do whatever it takes to be the most popular model. Arianna dream to become one of the biggest models has a price as she loses grip with her old life and boyfriend. The more she tries to become the most in demand model the more of her fellow models are murdered by a mysterious black-gloved killer. Kudos to Mark Polonia for doing something totally unexpected and for the love of Rutger Hauer, Jeff Kirkendall’s character is extremely creepy in this Indy giallo as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.  

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #661

1
Posted on by

Jurassic Exorcist (DVD) – In this Mark Polonia film a cult leader combines his evil with a dinosaur allowing it to eat everything in its devilish path after his death. Meanwhile a priest that has lost his faith in god is introduced to time travel as this allows him to go back a million years or so to exorcise this beast before it ever gets to present day! This wacked out plot taking place in a small town makes for a hilarious experience for viewers as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Grandma (Fawesome) – Twenty years ago Grandma’s Bed and Breakfast was a wonderful place to eat breakfast for the small town folk until it was revealed she been using humans for meat. People were disappearing from time to time but no one thought anything of it until that tragic day her place was investigated. Soon Grandma disappeared and part of the restaurant was torn down. Now in present day a young woman named Mallory inherits money from her dying father and she wanted to honor his memory by buying the place they both had fond memories of, “Grandma’s Bed and Breakfast”. The goal is for Mallory and a couple friends to clean the place up for business again. But clearly Grandma has returned and not too happy to share her place as she lures them one by one to their deaths. It is a crude but fun SOV shocker that captures that early 90s Indy vibe as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

George A. Romero’s Resident Evil (In Demand) – The purpose of this film is to look into why Romero’s vision of the popular video game never got made. In order to do that this film works twofold: tell the story of George A. Romero from the beginning but also the story of how Resident Evil became the horror game that changed so much in video games. This documentary dives head deep into the process of the game becoming a movie and compares the vision of Romero to Paul Anderson’s script. I quite enjoyed they brought up several times how people who are fans of the games dreaded the movie that came out (this officially ends me bitching about this series of films being an abomination on cinema) and reasons why we got what we got. The film runs a little long but I found it entertaining and very informative as it left I with only one question now… Should someone (cough, cough, Tom Savini or Greg Nicotero) go ahead and make the version of the script Romero wrote so long ago? I give this entertaining look into something I have yelled about constantly for years 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Teddiscare (Tubi) – Another hilarious project from Mark Polonia and stars Tim Hatch with some really cool opening credits for the film. A young man Duncan receives a phone call that his father is dying as he has just returned from an asylum adjusting to life outside again. His father’s dying words are “don’t return to the woods of your childhood”. Of course Duncan cannot resist investigating the woods and quickly finds his stuffed animal collection from his childhood like they had been waiting there the whole time for him. Meanwhile a partner of Duncan’s father at the Filbert Plant is overlooking how the estate is given out and wants to screw over Duncan but Duncan would like him to meet his friend Teddy? Maybe one of the more weird projects from Polonia Brothers Entertainment in the past decade with a fun performance from Tim Hatch as I give the project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Torture the Flesh (Blu-ray) – For the past year a serial killer has made a name for himself killing all over town causing the lead detective grasping for answers. Detective Frank is an over the hill cop who is a smidge away from retirement but believes he may have gotten the break he needs with a recent mother-to-be/wife and young kid being murdered by the serial killer. In comes the widow Daniel who wants answers from the frustrated detectives as he has plans to get his revenge. As the killer eludes capture the story keeps coming back to Daniel and Detective Frank until the very end. As each new murder happens they get even more grisly than the murder before in this low budget Indy feature with a nice large budget gloss as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Witch Story (DVD) – A late 80s Eye-talian flick that starts in 1932 Florida where a witch is burned to death while her kid watches. Of course the witch curses everyone there and their offspring which brings us 57 years later where a pair of siblings (brother and sister) inherits the house the witch owned. Ed and Carol see this as an opportunity for them and friends to fix the place up but immediately when they arrive the evil is awakened to kill all who have entered the home. We get a cursed house, a story that doesn’t quite make a lick of sense, one demonic blowjob, kissing cousins, a creepy priest/I am not a priest, and an ending that has you asking why the witch just wanted to hold her child in purgatory just to lure victims to the house? Point is its weird as I give the film 2 stars.

Leech (YouTube) – Here is another Indy project from David Dawson out of the state of Illinois that gave me a very pandemic vibe of making this film. Anyway we are introduce to Darklord of Loves Park who pretty much live streams everything he does: listening to music, making so-called music, eating a rat, going to the bar, asking for funds, etc. Mostly the Darklord seems to enjoy bickering with the group of people who do follow his streams until “Content Corner Mike” appears. Content Corner Mike begins uses his stream to try to get more subscribers to the Darklord because he believes the Darklord isn’t faking it and an interesting watch that’s different from most streams. But this decision leads to an unwanted feud and eventual violence in a very curious but realistic way that easily can be seen happening in real life. This no budget film can feel very rough around the edges but pay attention to the heart of this film because I think this had a great concept as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Teddy Told Me To (Tubi) – A film that is directed by Tom Devlin who is known more for his special make-up effects than directing has been dipping his toes into the genre of being a director. The plot of this flick takes place at a closed haunted attraction that a cute couple: Zoe and Danny buy up to reopen. It was originally closed because a young man wearing a bear mask lost his shit inside the attraction and killed people. Now reopening the man with the bear mask has returned to slaughter the haunters and all who enter. Not a huge fan of the ending but a lot of bodies pile up in this simple slasher that it keeps it bloody entertaining as I give it 2 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #657

0
Posted on by

Yule Log 2: Branchin’ Out (Max) – So Zoe surviving the Yule Log Massacre of the first film as it is referred too wakes in a hospital and wants to do the holidays without a fireplace. Meanwhile, the Yule Log that won’t die has other plans to track down the only survivor to finish the job it started. Zoe and friend start road tripping until an accident caused by Zoe leaves them stranded in the Hallmark movie town of Mistletoe. Here Zoe learns to love again even though she carries an axe with her at all times and a firefighter named Blaze is shirtless the whole film. The Yule Log eventually finds Zoe in the most ridiculous way while leaving a blood soaked trail to her during a Yule Log Festival. I laughed my ass off several times during this sequel as this is possibly the best one, two holiday punch since the ‘Jack Frost’ films as I give it 3 ½ stars.

House of the Wizard’s Blackened Soul (YouTube) – Dakota Ray’s latest Indy project is a short film that runs 27 minutes surrounding a young troubled man Gideon. Gideon has several issues struggling through life then thrown a curveball when he becomes the caretaker for his not in the best of health grandfather and his estate. Gideon takes it on but falls into a deeper world of darkness that he cannot escape as he discovers something even worse was waiting for him. Is Gideon dreaming it all? Was he already dead? Was this the dark world Gideon wanted all along? These questions can be debated after watching and how each viewer will for sure see things differently than the last. Mr. Dakota Ray usually plays with dark things in his projects but takes it to an interesting level with this well shot almost artsy project. This wild short film will find its audience as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Black Rat (DVD) – This is a 2010 film out of Japan from the dude who directed ‘Battle Royale II’ for whatever that is worth. A young lady Asuka dances in front of a rat head on top of a school building only to commit suicide after. Sometime later a group of supposedly Asuka’s friends receive a text to meet at midnight in their classroom at school. The friends meet up only to be confronted by a mystery person in Asuka’s rat head and armed with a baseball bat. One by one their secrets are put out there through flashbacks as they die. I wanted to like this more but just felt like a subpar concept that was never as entertaining as I just described it as I give it 2 stars.

The Beast in the Cellar (DVD) – An early 70s film that tackles the story of a creature nearby a British Army Camp murdering soldiers in the countryside. Joyce and Ellie are two older women who just seem innocent and a bit curious people who live off the beaten path in the same countryside. But after authorities and soldiers have visited their home several times for their safety it comes out Joyce and Ellie have had a secret that started during the Great War as they must care, protect, and keep their younger brother from war. Not too terribly bloody but an interesting find if you enjoy British horror as I give it 2 stars.

Mad Cow Massacre (YouTube) – Pretty much first time filmmakers out of Iowa having a little fun on a tiny budget set their serial killer plot in the small town of Farmville. Here is where the latest killings have taken place by a psycho in a cow costume. A detective has been tracking the killer (Mad Cow Killer) through several towns but the killer has decided his murder spree to continue day after day now just in Farmville. This change in behavior has baffled the detective but allows him to gather reinforcements to trap the sick Mad Cow Killer but even after death he cannot be stopped. The project is very rough with many flaws but they understood the massacre concept. It has a lot of heart as it was exactly what I like finding in my micro-budgeted massacre movies as I hope for a sequel soon and as this film gets 2 out of 4 stars.

Grandma’s Cookies (YouTube) – A holiday short film of a young boy staying with Grandma who wants to stay up to see Santa on Christmas Eve. But Grandma tries to convince the boy it isn’t the best thing to be awake to see Santa as she knows the real Santa. See Grandma for years has made special cookies for Santa every year since a child for good reason as the boy staying awake finds out it isn’t all merry as I give the entertaining horror short 3 out of 4 stars.

Joe Returns A Video (YouTube) – This 2019 short film is hilarious in so many ways as it’s all about Joe who forgot to return a VHS copy of Steven Seagal’s ‘Above the Law’ in 1989 and now in 2019 decides it will not be late another day. Joe cannot think of racking up another day of late fees and heads out from his picturesque suburb home to go for a walk to the video store three decades later. Along the way Joe encounters several characters but at all times he explains he has to return Steven Seagal’s ‘Above the Law’ VHS. I was literally laughing about every thirty seconds throughout this 12 minute short as I give it 4 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

On this week’s podcast we talked a lot about random massacre flicks

0
Posted on by

On this week show we come back to the fold with 3 more flicks of varying quality.  First we talk about a big summer release that was based on a video game, directed by podcast Paul W.S. Anderson, and starring his wife Milla Jovovich in 2020’s MONSTER HUNTER.  Then Tim talks about a fairly known flick outta New Zealand in STRANGE BEHAVIOR a.k.a. DEAD KIDS a.k.a. SMALL TOWN MASSACRE.  And finally John chats us up about an Eye-Talian quasi cannibal, quasi adventure flick called MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY.  We also go around about such topics as Kyle’s past birthday, casino adventures, the ins and outs of inverted nipples, more massacre flicks brought to us by Tim and hundreds of other random topics.  So download this episode or natives will beat you up in your local dive bar.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/