Gross Movie Reviews #490

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Gross Movie Reviews #490

 

Madhouse (DVD) – Here is a weird ass US/Italian production from 1981 that has a young woman named Julia who had a horrible childhood because of her crazy ass twin sister Mary. Mary was committed at a very young age and still is fucking nuts! After a lot of convincing from her creepy ass priest uncle Julia goes and visits Mary only to be haunted by the past again. Mary soon escapes the hospital to track down Julia and wreck her adult life. Mary and her dog are a fun highlight of the film as they just brutally kill people. But as Julia’s friends try to defend themselves we get an awesome ‘drill to a fake dog’s head’… Wonderful stuff folks as I give this wild flick 3 stars.

 

Blood Beat (Blu-ray) – This 1982 batshit crazy French/US production is fucked up right out of the gate. Ted has brought home his new girlfriend to meet the folks in rural Wisconsin for the holidays. From the beginning Ted’s mother gives Sarah his girlfriend the stink eye causing her not to feel comfortable being there. Sarah feels like something is trying to haunt her from the inside? Meanwhile Ted’s mom is a super weirdo, Ted is still trying to bump uglies hard like it is going to knock the demon out of her later he will regret banging her, and Sarah has weird ass dreams of becoming a samurai and cutting the locals out in the woods. Only Ted’s mom with her secret weird supernatural powers can save them all. I don’t have a clue what to make of this movie but if you need something to watch that doesn’t make a lick of sense ‘Blood Beat’ is your jam as it has a new special edition Blu-ray release out there for all of us weirdos as I give it 2 stars.

 

Livid (DVD) – A more recent French horror film that centers on a young lady, Lucie who has two different colored eyes. She is training with Ms. Wilson to be a house call nurse for some rich lady. Everything seems to be fine but there is more sinister things going on than meets the eye. We have a weird old lady that might be rich with a key around her neck and we got a house nurse that runs over young teenagers and slices them up in her tub. Weird spooky shit going down folks! Anyway Lucie makes the mistake of telling her dipshit boyfriend who forces her back to the house that night to steal the hidden treasure from an old lady in a coma. Once inside and cannot find the treasure they son figure out the key is for some evil shit. Stick with this one as its weird and doesn’t make a lot of sense but it is entertaining as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Wake Up (DVD) – Dr. Phillip Tanner is tasked with investigating and writing up a report on a young woman named Molly who killed her family and dog one night. Tanner is given this project after Molly’s first doctor died suddenly when he began reading her diary leading up to the murders. Molly always claimed her nightmares were driving her nuts and these nightmares are showing her horrible things. Once Tanner dives into the notes and diary he soon finds himself questioning his own reality and dreams even though Molly’s diary warns him from the beginning that it should only be read by her. Is Tanner going insane or is something more going on? I thought Joe Nowland and crew did a wonderful job of carrying this interesting thriller storyline as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Massacre at Femur Creek (YouTube) – This 2014 short film begins on June 22, 1984 in St. Claire, Ontario where three young males are having a camping outing for the weekend. This party weekend is quickly interrupted by a masked creeper who is trying to stab them to death. The three do not go down easily as they do manage to cut off the masked killer’s dong! I laughed enough that I feel this ‘massacre’ film has some rewatchablity as I give it 2 stars.

One Cut of the Dead (Shudder) – I was checking out this latest zombie project from Japan and wasn’t entirely impressed through the first twenty minutes or so as it seem like a lackluster Indy zombie project. But then the movie is turned on its head as the movie credits roll thirty minutes in and we go back a month before the project started where an average filmmaker is picked for a new TV project. Higurashi is a director who just tries to please everyone so for this new horror channel he is perfect in their minds for this project. They want a one continuous shot zombie project with no cuts and not using much money. So it takes the viewer throughout the inner workings of the project and how they made the finished product work. On top of that we get to see the subplot of Higurashi and his aspiring filmmaker daughter storyline all the through as it is tied up nicely in the end. This film has a great premise, lots of blood, and entertaining characters as this movie takes a very fresh take on the bloated zombie genre as I give it 4 stars.

 

Insemnoid (DVD) – Some people may know this flick as “Horror Planet” but if you never have watched it then you will be sold on it is all about a penis shaped alien inseminating a female after it has been awaken on a faraway planet! A hilarious British space film where researchers check out a tomb on this foreign planet to find out what species may have lived here before? Ricky and Dean go exploring until an explosion inside the tomb kills Dean with Ricky surviving and being life to the Penis alien! After Ricky loses his mind and causes all kinds of chaos Sandy is abducted by the aliens and experimented on or just has a large tube shoved up her vagina. Sandy goes nutzoid with super penis alien strength and begins killing off the lamest movie space crew of all time as I give this funny ass movie 2 stars for just existing.

 

Dolemite is My Name (On Demand) – A biopic that tells the story of Rudy Ray Moore. Mr. Moore is played by none other than Eddie Murphy who basically decided it was time to let the world know about Rudy Ray Moore and his adventures… But also Eddie Murphy is back! The film takes us into the world of Rudy Ray Moore how like most of us had big dreams when he moved out west. But working at a record shop and working at night clubs as a comedian/MC wasn’t the ideal situation. One day an older man comes into the record shop telling hilarious stories and this is where Rudy sees something that he can become and Dolemite was born. Rudy Ray Moore is proof you can make it happen for yourself if you try. Mr. Moore went from a nobody to part of pop culture of the 70s. The cast for this biopic was amazing and this is most likely one of the best movies you will see in 2019 as I give 4 stars. To be honest only recently I have watched some of Rudy’s movies and thoroughly enjoyed them. I knew about Dolemite but always went on to watching some other Blaxploitation flick so shame on me. So don’t make that mistake and go watch this biopic and go check out the great Dolemite films!

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

 

It will be here before you know it: Grossfest 3: Season of the Gross, July 25-26th, 2020. Check out www.grossfest.com for details.

 

Gross Movie Reviews #487

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Gross Movie Reviews #487

 

The Black Gestapo (DVD) – A mid-70s Blaxploitation film that stars “Night Court’s” Charles Robinson where the story is about ‘The People’s Army’ helping out black people. But Charles Robinson aka Colonial Kojah is tired of just waiting around and not doing anything to help his fellow black man. He is tired of the abuse especially from the white man mafia. Kojah is given permission to protect his fellow black man but has something else in mind once he and is closest friends make an impression on the mafia. Kojah helps stop the shake downs of black businesses and hookers but that isn’t enough? He has his own ‘People’s Army’ to train for war, changes names, new uniforms, etc. Soon both People’s Armies are not fighting to gain on the white man as they fighting each other. Fun stuff as I give it 3 stars.

 

The Human Tornado (DVD) – Rudy Ray Moore is Dolemite and having an important party at his big house in the hills. But the white sheriff cannot stand a rich black man having fun. He does not appreciate all the non-white people including his wife being at the rich party. So sheriff and a couple hicks crash it! After a car chase, a fight with the sheriff, and blowing up a car Dolemite, Ernie Hudson, and others carjack a man on the highway and head to California. Dolemite wants to hang out at Queen Bee’s place only to see it is closed down by a wannabe Godfather figure. So Dolemite and crew put a plan in action to get the place up and running again and of course to bring the white man down. Again hilarious fun action including the fight scenes in fast forward as I give the film 3 stars.

The Werewolf (DVD) – I have to admit this I never heard of this 1956 different werewolf film. It doesn’t play by the rules we all know and love. Part of it is the film for many years wasn’t released on any format outside of its initial release to theaters and drive-ins. But anyway a mysterious man walks into town and hits the bar for a drink but has no clue who he is or how he got there. Cornered by a bigger man to rob him of his money is a mistake as the stranger turns into a werewolf and rips the bigger man’s neck out. But Mountaincrest authorities track him down to get him looked at by doctors but is not thrilled by it. For good reason after a few plot twists and the mysterious man escapes as we come to learn he is a product of an experiment by two scientists that have used him. Now they want to see their results as they were able to make a man into a werewolf. This film is very different from the usual werewolf fare and surprised this hasn’t been rediscovered for a series or remake as I give this cool find 3 stars.

 

Haunt (On Demand) – Your typical campus housing plant has a group of students looking for a good time on Halloween. After hitting the usual bars they find a flyer for an ‘extreme haunt’ so they decide to check it out. They believe its all bullshit until they enter after signed over their lives and give up their cell phones. At the time the six friends believe it is a lame haunt until they split up and continue to move forward but they all must follow the rules or face the horrifying consequences. I really enjoyed this Halloween flick and believe this is what Rob Zombie’s “31” should have been? Now I did have my issues with the lead character but still enjoyed this gory treat that will have the teenage horror fans screaming for a sequel as I give it 3 stars.

 

Scooby-Doo: Return to Zombie Island (DVD) – After many years of solving mysteries Scooby and Shaggy make the rest of the gang to promise just be normal teenagers. So Fred sells the Mystery Machine and they promise not to solve any mysteries. But Shaggy wins a contest on Elvira’s movie show for a tropical vacation. All they want to do is eat a ton and relax without worrying about running from some masked monster. They arrive at the island hotel and things look very familiar as it was the one mystery they never solved. Scooby and Shaggy allow the gang to solve the mystery after enough weird stuff happens and it is a low budget film crew filming a found footage film. But that isn’t all of it as there other people still using the Zombie Island legend to look for the treasure they believe is there so the gang must solve that mystery too. If you are a long time Scooby fan you will enjoy it a lot as they incorporate a lot of classic characters from Scooby past. Not as good as the first Zombie Island but still worth the watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Disco Godfather (DVD) – Rudy Ray Moore is back for more this 1979 film as a famous DJ spinning disco records. But when his nephew gets high on Angel Dust and loses his mind Mr. Moore aka Dolemite makes it his business to track down the drug dealer who sold his nephew the smack. The film has a lot of flaws including lots of drawn out scenes of disco but has a thrilling cliffhanger of an ending I wasn’t expecting from this flick as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Vigilante (DVD) – Finally righting a wrong that I had never finished this Fred Williamson classic. In this William Lustig gritty flick Robert Forester plays Eddie that believes in the system and how it works. His friends (Fred Williamson being one of them) on the other hand believe in street justice and taking back the streets as the hoodlums just do not care anymore and neither do the police. After Eddie’s kid gets his head blown off by the Headhunter gang and screwed over by a sleazy lawyer played by Joe Spinell, Eddie is sent to prison for 30 days. Once out he has a whole new perspective on what his friends do at night and helps them track down the Headhunter gang! Great gritty gang film even with its choppiness this still worth keeping in your rotation of movies to watch on a regular basis as I give it 3 stars.

 

Doom: Annihilation (DVD) – Just in case you needed to know about this incarnation of the video game to film… They still don’t get it. So much source material here for a fun gory alien film and they screwed up as I give it 1 star for just incorporating a few things the first film didn’t have.

One Remains (DVD) – A low budget film crew heads to a remote large home in the mountains to visit an old man for a documentary they want to make. Lance the owner allows the crew to come and do the interview. Their documentary is going to be about Samuel Mahoney and how he found some missing college students in the mountains that were supposed to be experienced hikers but went missing for a long period of time. Then one day as Samuel was walking through the woods he stumbled upon them and it changed his life forever. It was the 70s things like this just didn’t happen but it did and Samuel’s whole family was affected by it. The first half of the film is the usual independent horror buildup but switches to a cool weird thriller vibe when Samuel tells the crew he has a VHS tape that contains footage that he shot on his camera the day he found the dead students. Things get a little confusing but interesting as the crew rewatch the tape all the way through and things change. I enjoy that it wasn’t a straight up horror film and more of a well-produced thriller with weird stuff happening as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!