Category Archives: Gross Movie Reviews

You as a horror movie fan need to own, rent, see one of the best independent films of 2013!

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Infinte Santa

 

  • Infinite Santa 8000 will be available on VOD December 3rd and streamed or for sale at iTunes and other online vendors. All the info is at: http://midnightreleasing.com/infinite-santa-8000/

     

    Review from Gross Movie Reviews:

     

    Infinite Santa 8000 (DVD) – What once started as a webisodes project from Michael Neel and Greg Ansin after their awesome independent anthology ‘Drive-in Horrorshow’ has now become a feature length animated film after two long years of hard work. And I am here to say the hard work paid off in this beautiful animated feature that features a Robo Santa a world that is far into a war torn future! This is the type of film that makes me wonder if the filmmakers behind it reach into a horror fan’s dark soul and bring to life something of the likes of Robo Santa. The film has a great and entertaining beginning that sets the pace for you the viewer of knowing what your brain is about to witness as Robo Santa is facing off a full robot in a bootleg Thunderdome. And they are fighting for meat as meat is scarce and the new money with the world looking like one big wasteland straight out of a ‘Mad Max’ film. But as Santa goes back to the North Pole with his Robo reindeer he knows he is going back to the one person who still believes. And her name is Martha. Martha is what keeps the old man going. But there is some who want to take that away from him and the menace that wants to take the happiness away is the “Creator” who made Martha. The Creator sends an evil bunny with exploding peeps, monkey men, and mutations, even Martha clones to kill Santa and steal Martha away only to destroy her for good. It is a holiday classic of good versus evil in this animated feature that is complete chaotic fun! It is not only one of the best independent films of the year but I am glad to say one my favorite horror films in the past few years. The dedication of Michael Neel and all who are involved with Burnt Reindeer Films should be proud of their project that I would put up there with the likes of ‘Heavy Metal’, ‘Fire and Ice’. What sealed the deal on this great film was the quote from Robo Santa in the film, “Just how I like my mutants, ugly, crispy, and dead!” That is perfection for me. Horror movie fans if there is one horror film you buy this holiday season it must be “Infinite Santa 8000” or Robo Santa and myself are coming Mad Max style down your chimney and throwing you in the bootleg Thunderdome! I give the film 4 out of 4 stars and it can be found at www.midnightreleasing.com and more info about Greg and others can be found at www.infinitesanta.com . If you need more look for the intentional or unintentional video game Gauntlet scene during the big fight between Robo Santa and Creator’s minions.

Its Italian week on Bloodbaths and Boomsticks… sort of?

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episode 93

It’s Italian week here on the podcast.  And this week we are covering 2 of Italy’s most inexplicable movies.  First we got the fetus chomping walk fest Anthropophagous and its quasi sequel Absurd.  And then from Canada (the Italy of the north) we got the slasher Curtains.  So pull yourself out of traction and snuggle up to your speakers with a heapin’ helpin’ of baby for this episode.  Tell em’ George Eastman sent ya.

 

http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

 

Underground Wisconsin filmmaker releases entire catalog for streaming and rent online.

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Crew

 

IDS Rising

 

ids_rising_amber_movie_poster_by_joypadmaster-d5dlgj3

MADISON, WI- Writer/Director Cory J. Udler, most known for his “Incest Death Squad” trilogy and his work with legendary grindhouse icon Ted V. Mikels, has released all of his films, including 2011’s “MEDIATRIX” in online format for rent and download at the official ShaLenn Productions, LLC website, INCESTDEATHSQUAD.com.

Udler, who has not gone with an established distributor for any of his films, wanted to embrace the new opportunities for rent and download capabilities for his movies on the hosting site VIMEO for a variety of reasons.

“First and foremost”, Udler said, “this is the way people are watching movies.  Everyone’s busy, on the run, and instead of having to order a DVD and wait for it to arrive and then have to watch it in front of the TV, people want to snag a movie any way they can when it’s convenient for them.  In addition, I have a great bunch of fans of the movies overseas and the shipping costs as of the first of the year have made me have to ask those folks for more money for shipping.  The shipping costs more than the movies!  So this is a very exciting way for me to reach more people at a lowered price and a more convenient viewing option for them as well.”

Udler’s first feature in 2009, “Incest Death Squad”, was celebrated by underground film fans and panned by critics making it a “cult film”, a title that Udler denies.

“I don’t decide if the movies are “cult” or not.  An audience decides that.  But I’ve had everything from people tattooing “IDS” on their bodies, to people telling me that my movies are a sort of “test” for their friends, to see if they are worthy of hanging out with.  It’s pretty wild for a no budget movie that, as I look back on it, seems disjoined and strange, but yeah, people love it, so if they say it’s a “cult” movie, then great.  I just think it’s a weird no budget movie”.

The movie stars Lloyd Kaufman in a cameo role along with “Night Of The Living Dead” sheriff George Kosana, Elske McCain, Tom Lodewyck, Greg Johnson, Melissa Murphy and Carmela Wiese.

Udler followed in 2010 with a direct sequel and calls that film his “favorite of any films” he’s made.

2011 saw the release of “Mediatrix”, a departure from the horror genre to a “Christsploitation” movie.

“Mediatrix was based off a true story.  There was a woman in Wisconsin in the 40’s and 50’s who claimed to have been visited by The Virgin Mary.  She said she suffered stigmata, all kinds of wild unsubstantiated claims.  Paula Duerksen (star and writer of “Mediatrix”) and I took a trip up there when we were filming her scenes for Incest Death Squad 2 and on the way back we basically decided to make an amped up rock n roll version of that story”.

The movie stars Viscera Film Festival founder and horror luminary Shannon Lark as the Virgin Mary.  It also stars Kaylee Williams and Joe Hollow, along with Lodewyck, Johnson, Ukena, Katzenberger and Heather Renkin.

2012 saw him return to the “IDS” series and complete the trilogy with “IDS Rising”.

“Honestly, I just wanted to really slam the book shut on the “IDS” movies with that one.  I wanted to give the people who supported me and the cast and crew one more look inside this bizarre little no budget horror world we all created.  Some fans said it was the best of the series, and I’ll take that”.

Udler says there is “no chance in hell” of a 4th movie saying, “I have no idea how I’d dig these characters up again for a 4th movie.  After the first one I said no sequel.  After the sequel I said no third movie.  So, basically I’m a horrible liar.  But honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I have no desire to do a 4th movie in that series.  It’s over!”

All four movies are available for rent ($3.00 for 2 nights) or purchase ($6.00 for direct download) at INCESTDEATHSQUAD.com now.

Currently, Udler is a producer and contributor to Rabid Child Films’ “HOLE IN THE WALL”, an all Wisconsin based horror anthology featuring films from Derrick Carey, Greg Johnson, Rob Michaels and Carolyn Baker and other Badger State directors to be named later.  Udler’s entry stars “Night of the Living Dead” star Judith O’Dea and is titled “Ed Gein: D.D.S.”.

“It’s the goofiest thing you’ve ever seen.  Completely ridiculous, but a ton of fun.  And to get to work with and meet Judith was a dream come true.”

The film is scheduled for release in 2014.

In the meantime, Udler has completed his third script for legendary director Ted V. Mikels titled “Paranormal Extremes: Text Messages From The Dead”.  Udler has written “Demon Haunt” and “Astro Zombies M3: Cloned” for Mikels and considers that work his greatest achievement.

“I have idolized Ted since I was about 12 years old.  He is the embodiment of true independent filmmaking spirit.  I love him so much and respect him like no other.  It’s absolutely mind blowing to have written three films for Ted.  He’s the greatest of all time”.

“Paranormal Extremes” is currently filming, with Mikels at the helm, in Las Vegas.  A 2014 release is planned.  The other films are available through Alpha New Line Cinema at OLDIES.com.

Udler’s latest film “IDS RISING” is also available on Roku on Get Scared TV for free now.  The film includes an extended trailer for “Hole In The Wall” including a quick scene from “Ed Gein: D.D.S”

What’s next for Udler and ShaLenn Productions?

“I am working on a story and script with Derrick Carey now.  We’re taking it slow, not rushing it.  It’s completely insane.  I will say it has to do with heavy metal and Satan, but that’s about as far as I’ll go right now”.

Udler says the plan is to shoot in 2014 with a 2015 release.

To keep up on everything Udler and ShaLenn Productions has planned you can visit INCESTDEATHSQUAD.com or find Udler on Facebook.

Gross Movie Reviews #306

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Gross Movie Reviews #306

 

By Tim Gross

 

Wrath of the Titans (DVD) – Years have passed since Perseus has fought the Kraken and people no longer believe in the great Greek gods. He now has a son and is trying to live a normal life of a fisherman. But when the God of War and the brother of Zeus decide to unleash hell on earth Zeus tries to lure Perseus out of his retirement to save what’s left of the gods and warns him what is imprisoned in Hates may destroy all human life. So Perseus with the help of the son of Poseidon go on a quest to save Zeus and humans alike. An entertaining popcorn flick but it will never be as much as the 1982 classic we all know and love as I give it 2 stars.

Blood of Redemption

Blood of Redemption (DVD) – One of the newest action films starring Dolph Lundgren as a bodyguard for a mob boss and his youngest son. The mob boss is trying to keep his youngest out of the business and soon knows the oldest is trying to make a play on running his business. On top of that Dolph gets fucked over and disappears for a short time only to reappear for revenge and revenge only! Not the best of action plots but when the film also stars Vinnie Jones, Robert Davi, and Billy Zane you know I was going to watch it just out of curiosity. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Edge of Sanity

Edge of Sanity (DVD) – Anthony Perkins does his impression of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in this 1989 sexually violent horror film that was lambasted by the MPAA even before its release. Perkins plays the good doctor who is on the verge of something big with his experiments with cocaine. But one night after a slight mishap with his experimental monkey the drug changes Perkins into a sexually charged murderer as bodies begin to pile up around London. The film has lost a little edge 25 years later because what some horror fans have had a chance to witness. The film was quickly buried after its VHS release and was hard to find an uncut version unless you were near the one or two ma and pa video stores that actually bought it. The film deserved a better fate than it had as Perkins cements his role as one of the scariest actors in all horror films with his performance. The film would make a great partner for fans who enjoy ‘A Clockwork Orange’ and looking for something just as bold… I give the film 3 stars.

Dredd (DVD) – Karl Urban reprises the legendary comic book movie role that Sly Stallone destroyed in the big budgeted flop years ago and brings it out of the ashes with its no nonsense back to what the character was and everyone enjoyed about it. Kick ass, in your face, violent action! I felt the film was cut a little short but was an excellent comeback for a franchise that never had the chance to get off the ground in the first place with great casting of Karl Urban. I give the film 3 ½ stars.

Anthropophagus (DVD) – The brutal Italian horror film from 1980 also known as ‘The Grim Reaper’ to some here in the states has had the special DVD treatment for horror fans to enjoy in all its baby chomping glory! The film is about friends traveling by boat to an island that seems to be abandoned until they find a blind girl screaming in a barrel of blood and a story of a crazed cannibal stalking the island. Not believing her at first the friends soon become lunch and dinner for George Eastman’s famous baby munching character gorehounds will always remember. The film can be very boring and seems to have lots of random walking scenes but makes up for it till this day with its shocking and violent scenes. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

Anthropophagus 2 (VHS) – The film is most widely known as ‘Absurd’ but has several names: Horrible, Monster Hunter, The Grim Reaper 2, and Zombie 6: Monster Hunter. Joe D’Amato is back directing George Eastman in this weird sequel-not-sequel where a priest is stalking a man who has the unique ability to heal quickly and just happens to murder people for the hell of it. For the most part George Eastman plays the same exact character from the first film but without the skin condition and trying to eat people’s babies except when he spends seven minutes of screen time to bake a babysitter’s head to get to a couple of kids in their mansion. The movie is boring for big spans of time like the first ‘Anthropophagus’ but has some crazy violent death scenes that makes you as a horror fan to sit through it. I give the film 2 stars.

Star Trek: Into Darkness (DVD) – The J.J. Abrams sequel refuses to disappoint as he not only once again reinvents the Star Trek universe but stick with what made the original films good. This time young Kirk and crew are faced with an old enemy in Khan. But this time it has a different twist where Khan is just the cover for something bigger going on inside the Federation as someone is just trying to cover up the Federation is actually preparing for war more than peacekeeping missions through space. The film is once again a great sequel, prequel, remake that ends with opening all new universes of stories to be told because of its great blending of old and new characters and storyline. The new Star Trek series doesn’t just have me excited but I stand erect as hell waiting for the next film as this series for me maybe the last hope of me still paying attention to Hollywood. I give this fine sci-fi flick 4 stars and the people who don’t like it can go shove it up there asses as they have no fucking souls!

The Silencer (DVD) – A 1999 film starring Michael Dudikoff in a low budgeted version of Chuck Bronson’s ‘The Mechanic’. I give it 3 stars.

Horror Stories (DVD) – A great Korean anthology that will have American horror fans wetting their pants in happiness of getting a copy as this Asian anthology doesn’t disappoint in its four fun horror stories and wrap around. The wrap around begins with a man kidnapping a teenager because he cannot sleep and wants her to tell him a scary story to put him to sleep. The first film ‘Don’t Answer the Door’ is very creepy as it shows why kids need to make sure the door stays shut and locked. The second film is called ‘Endless Flight’ and a serial killer should never be trusted even on an empty flight to prison. ‘Endless Flight’ has a bucket of gore. The third film ‘Secret Recipe’ may be the most interesting story of the anthology as the best way I can describe is two step sisters fight over the Asian version of Hannibal Lector but they do not know that just yet… The fourth story ‘Ambulance on the Death Zone’ is a solid film but possibly the weakest if there is one of the anthology as a paramedic van stops to pick up two survivors but the doctor on board believes the child is bitten and will turn into a zombie. Mother swears she won’t and will do anything to make it back to the hospital. The anthology has its moments of gore, creepiness, and solid writing that makes it hard to not want to watch it again and give it 3 out of 4 stars. The film can be found at www.artsploitation.com .

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed project from Daniel Boyd and myself called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Have you purchased your copies of “Jagoff Massacre” to give out to the family? If not, you understand the old you would have already!

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Buy it at http://www.jagoffmassacre.com

jagoff

On a cold winter night in the Greenfield neighborhood of Pittsburgh, PA, two local drunks by the name of Chosky and Stutch run afoul of a group of inept satanists. As a chase ensues through Pittsburgh, blood will be shed! It’s time to Red up Pittsburgh!
Jagoff Massacre
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl-poWn4E2E

Gross Movie Reviews #305

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Gross Movie Reviews #305

 

By Tim Gross

 

Freaks (DVD) – A misunderstood classic when first released in 1932. Many were sickened, disgusted, and just didn’t care for the film. But over the years that followed its original release it gained cult status for its subject matter which is circus freaks and how they turn on a circus performer who mocks them. Even when the so-called circus freaks accept Cleopatra she still mocks. So the circus freaks get together and plan her demise when the show is on the move to the next town. These days the film may not have the impact it once did but still sheds light on a cultural divide even in today’s society. I give the flick 3 ½ stars.

 

Bad Ass (DVD) – A very corny action flick starring Danny Trejo as an aging Vietnam vet who is just tired of the younger generation being complete asses and beats two skinheads up on a bus when going home one day when they wouldn’t leave no one alone. The event is caught on people’s cellphone videos and it goes viral. Things are going great for Trejo’s character until his best friend is killed for a flash drive that contains some highly illegal activity being done by the mayor played by Ron Perlman. Like I said it’s corny but entertaining as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Taken 2 (DVD) – Liam Neeson is back as the super-agent who is trying to learn how to be a father and accept his wife is married to someone else. This time around he is the one that is kidnapped along with his wife while on vacation and it’s up to his daughter Maggie Grace who seems to still be playing a high school student but is like 30 years old in real life… But anyway she has to be the one to help out super-agent dad or him and mom will be killed! Lots of brutal violence and action sequences make this a film you cannot blink while watching or you’ll miss something. I give the action film 3 stars.

ids_rising_amber_movie_poster_by_joypadmaster-d5dlgj3

IDS Rising (DVD) – Cory J. Udler continues one of my favorite independent film storylines “Incest Death Squad” in this third film that picks up with Amber believed to be dead but is in a coma at a hospital for the past three months after the big shoot out ending of the second film. She is taking a verbal beat down from her brother Jeb but we soon learn she is in a coma. Two-thirds of the film takes place in Amber’s mind as she tries to find answers on why things happen the way they did and why she is still alive only to learn a whole lot more when she is visited by all of her dead friends and parents in her dream state. Best way to describe the film is ‘Prophecy 3’. I enjoyed the second film more but this sequel is a great tie film as it explains a lot about Jeb, Amber, their fucked up parents plot and why Amber is like the way she is. This sequel is a nice way to wrap up a trilogy with also leaving the door open to possibly revisit the ‘Incest Death Squad’ without hurting the fun films that came before it. Why I describe it as ‘Prophecy 3’. Mr. Udler does another good job of keeping me entertained with another entry of twisted and sick fun he calls ‘IDS rising aka Incest Death Squad 3’. I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. You can purchase the film or find out more about Cory J. Udler at www.incestdeathsquad.com .

 

World War Z (DVD) – At first I had high hopes when Brad Pitt’s company bought the film rights. But once I heard a bigger studio was getting involved and the budget ballooned over the $100 million I stopped being excited and hoped it wasn’t an ‘I Am Legend’ fiasco again… So I sat down to finally make myself watch this flick. A mysterious virus has hit the world and all are turning into zombies at an alarming rate. Brad Pitt reacts as if he has seen it before and helps his family get rescued by the UN to a Navy vessel. From Pitt’s character goes searching for a cure to the zombie plague and its origins. While he is searching the globe the zombies are taking over the planet until he has found a way to camouflage humans from being lunch. I believe this is the first big budget popcorn summer flick. In other words the film didn’t suck but is forgettable. I will stick with Romero, O’Bannon, Fulci, and Nazi zombies as I give this film 2 stars.

 

The Colony (DVD) – Years into the future where global warming took a header and one day it started to snow and has never stopped. With freezing temps, very little food, and human connection, humanity is in trouble unless it finds a way to reverse the weather problem or a new food source. The film stars a paranoid Bill Paxton and Laurence Fishburne who leads Colony 7 who has lost contact with Colony 5 but receives a distress call a week later. A small team goes to visit only to find blood, destruction, and a scared survivor who claims they have found a warm spot 40 miles north. When the team investigates the screams and noises they run for their lives after finding what happened to the Colony. It soon follows the team back home for a fight for its life where flu is no longer the only enemy. At any point during the film I was waiting for 1982 Kurt Russell to pop out of nowhere looking for “Childs”! The movie is great but swings and misses on a key plot point that I thought could have made the film one of the top five films of 2013 when do not explain more about the weather machines??? Hell, there looks to be a scene missing when they arrive at one weather machine on their way to Colony 5. This film is still pulse pounding fun terror and violence and worth seeking out as it was dropped from theater release earlier in 2013. I give the film 3 stars.

 

Scarecrow (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A big steamy pile of rat shit called a horror film about a small town legend of a killer scarecrow spirit that begins to kill high school students that were on a Saturday detention field trip. Where’s fucking Larry Drake when you need him? Save yourself the time and punch yourself in the face you’ll at least feel better in 90 minutes than watching this flick, I give it 0 stars.

Young Blood

Young Blood: Evil Intentions (DVD) – Two young sisters that are not happy with mom’s choice in men decide they need a change or at least the older sister Anavey convinces the younger sister Anastasia it’s a change for the better.  Anavey uses the best line I have heard in a film this year: “I am 75% sure it might work!” to convince her. Once the sisters are vampires, the older sister Anavey explains the rules and what is needed to be done for Anastasia to go full vamp. Then she assembles a vampire cult with all the town’s children to begin killing all adults she does not like. The film is a crossover of ‘Children of the Corn’ and an adult version of the ‘Goosebumps’ show. The independent movie has its moments of comedy, great cameos, violence, and funny jabs at the ‘Twilight’ vampires and I enjoy its take on a small southern town reacting to kid vampires. But its 100 minute running time makes the film seem to be dull in parts or the story stretched a little too thin. This is a common mistake among a lot of beginning filmmakers and gets corrected over time as they learn more and experience the process with more projects. Overall it’s entertaining and I enjoy its late 80s shot on VHS feel as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars. You can purchase and support the independent film at www.youngbloodmovie.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed project from Daniel Boyd and myself called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/ .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #304

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Gross Movie Reviews #304

 

By Tim Gross

 

The Hard Corps (DVD) – Jean-Claude Van Damne plays a war vet back in the states and living at the VA hospital trying to get past his traumatic stress. A friend comes to visit with an offer he cannot refuse and it’s to help protect a local man who has capitalized on his boxing career into a business man who is building up his old community. Problem is the man has made an enemy of the local Hip Hop producer who he thought would be in jail for many years to come is out back on the streets and wants revenge. JCVD plays the ultimate bodyguard in this fun violent action flick that went mostly unnoticed a few years back. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Big Ass Spider! (DVD/Theater) – This crazy monster flick is from the same guy that gave us the demon nouns in ‘The Convent’ which I believe is one of the best Halloween horror films and one of the better horror films the newer generation of horror filmmakers out there. Exterminator stubbles upon a major spider problem after going to the hospital after a spider bite. He makes a deal with the director to check out and resolve the spider issue if they clear his bill for services. The exterminator inspects what’s going on and soon understands that everyone is in trouble when a monstrous spider is quickly eating people and getting bigger every four hours inside the hospital until it breaks out. It is soon revealed the spider is a military experiment mistake. Now, with the spider increasing quickly, the military wants to drop bombs on L.A. before it is too late. A lot of famous cameos and a great performance by Ray Wise as an army major calling the shots make this monster film a fun one. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Babysitter Massacre (DVD/Theater) – The never resting filmmaker Henrique Couto is back with his latest project that will make a lot of 80s and early 90s horror fans happy as this throwback slasher of sorts has lots of violence, chubby boobs, and a fun plot that makes fun but respects the genre. Couto blends fun characters into a plot of a babysitter club of teenage girls that several years ago always took care of each other until an unfortunate and tragic event happens to one of them on Halloween night. The club disbanded after that but one girl wants to have a party with all the old members of the club even if they hate or blame one of their own. But the strange faceless figure is back and some of the girls are not going to make the party as they are being killed one by one. Mr. Couto not only gives what the horror crowd of 80s wants but also keeps the plot interesting enough for today’s sometimes cynical horror movie fans. With that I give Mr. Couto’s film 3 out of 4 stars as he always strives to be one step ahead of the independent filmmaking world…

 

Satan’s Little Helper (DVD) – Jeff Lieberman directs this all too close to home horror film about a kid who wants to go trick or treating as a video game character named Satan’s Little Helper. The kid is excited about his older sister coming home from college to keep the tradition of trick or treating together alive. But when the big sister brings home her boyfriend the kid has a spaz attack and runs away to find a person dressed as Satan and the kid begins to hang with him or be his helper thinking it’s just like the video game. The kid believes it’s all in good Halloween fun with Satan killing people, stealing stuff, etc., until Satan kills his father when the kid gets upset. Intentional or not the film takes a look into children’s minds when they cannot decide between real life and video games in this creepy horror flick. The film came out 2004 and I believe its subject matter feels like it has been ripped out of the headlines now nine years later. What makes the film work is the Satan costume and how the character in the costume is portrayed in the film. It is brilliant. I only had a minor issue of the Satan character finding a way to make all think it is the boyfriend’s father who was in the costume but it’s only minor. ‘Satan’s Little Helper’ is a different and cool Halloween movie for fans to enjoy as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Skinless

The Ballad of Skinless Pete (DVD) – Dustin Wayde Mills takes Re-Animator, The Resurrected, Croenberg’s The Fly, and Lovecraft elements and combines them into this amazing, wonderful, and beautiful film about a doctor that may have found a cure for cancer. Pete is Dr. Peel and is driven by an incredible sex drive and the need to find funding in what he believes could cure cancer with the help of his partner/roommate/friend Dr. Cross. Dr. Peel believes that enzymes taken from a certain worm and genetically altering them could be the cure, but they have run out of funding and guinea pigs. After an argument with Dr. Cross, Pete uses himself as the human test subject after finding out he has cancer. At first it works and he is cancer free but soon his body turns on him and eats his skin away. Weeks pass and Dr. Cross and their main investor go to check in on Dr. Peel only to find him half-crazed and possibly mutating into something this world has never imagined? But that isn’t the only thing happening as Dr. Peel craves flesh! The film is absolutely disgusting in a very beautiful way. The special effects are just amazing on an independent budget and actually are a character of the film. Dustin Wayde Mills may have made his best film yet… I give the flick 4 out of 4 stars and more can be found out about it at: www.facebook.com/dustin.w.mills or www.facebook.com/dustinmillsproductions . When watching the film I got two words for you, “Vagina Mace!”

 

The Pit and The Pendulum (DVD) – Stuart Gordon and Charles Band team up to produce this project originally called ‘The Inquisitor’ that was released in 1991 and still to this day is an underrated flick that has a great cast that includes the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen as Torquemada. Torquemada is the Grand Inquisitor of Spain and is trying to purify the village of witchcraft. During a public death and whipping of a young boy a simple baker’s wife screams for the whipping to stop and throws herself in the way. About to be beaten by guards, Torquemada runs to her rescue only to be stunned by an image he takes as witchcraft and has her arrested so she can be tortured and give confession. Maria’s husband tries to explain her actions to Torquemada but to no avail they throw him out and threaten to throw him in prison. Undeterred the husband makes a bargain to get into the castle and save his wife while Torquemada takes upon himself to test her for witchcraft but believes he has been placed under her spell to love her and has himself flogged until the images or visions go away. Driven to the point of a psychotic break the Pope has sent someone to the castle to explain to Torquemada the torturing must stop and the witch hunt must be done. A great time period horror flicks that all it was missing is the Hammer Films name at the beginning and Vincent Price character. One of the best early Full Moon films to be produced as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

The Tingler (DVD) – A great example of horror films from back in the 50s from William Castle that actually made a film about a thing that comes from the spine of all humans that can only be stopped by people screaming in fear. The film is quite dated and loses its luster for most film fans that were not there when the film was originally produced and the experience of their seats being rigged with electric shock to make them jump out of their seat during the screening. Vincent Price plays a good doctor trying to stop the Tingler. ‘The Tingler’ is another film that remind movie fans why Vincent Price was the perfect genre actor. I give the flick 3 stars.

 

Bath Salt Zombies (DVD) – Another independent film from Dustin Wayde Mills who plays a chemist/drug dealer named Bubbles who has come up with a new batch of “super bath salts” drug for the public. The guinea pig is a junkie named Richie. Richie after being supplied a free sample of the new drug goes back to a friend’s house to smoke it. Once he does he becomes a raging cannibal and eats his friend’s face. Meanwhile a DEA agent is determined to stop the new “super bath salts” by any means necessary. Even it means fighting the same gang member 25 times during a raid. But is the DEA agent too late as Richie is hooked and a couple of his friends go on a feeding frenzy at a concert! The film is exactly what you think but stays away from the zombie moniker and is more of a raging cannibal thing. I give the film 3 out of 4 stars and more about it can be found at www.facebook.com/dustinmillsproductions .

super-task-force-one-official-trailer1381831591

Super Task Force One (DVD) – This film is a film made out of love for the ‘Power Rangers’ show by an intelligent filmmaker Steve Rudzinski. The film being written and directed by Steve had my attention even if it wasn’t a horror movie. ‘Super Task Force Six’ apparently was a group of colorful superheroes who fought aliens, monsters, demons and evil of all sorts until the evil disappeared 15 years ago and the government disbanded the group. Jason a struggling writer just happens to stumble upon a beaten man at a park who gives Jason the power of the Green Enforcer. And Jason now is taken over by the power only to fight a hideous monster at the park trying to destroy him. Soon Jason learns with the help of Super Task Force super fan and best friend Paul that the Evil Emperor is alive and well and has kept the public in a trance. A trance from an audio file found by Jason’s cute girlfriend and destroyed for the world to know there is evil still here. I am no Power Rangers fan at all but found the independent kids friendly film to be very entertaining and it helped jar my memory of the good old days of Saturday morning TV. Steve should be proud of this project for the reason he took a chance by going through with this project and has done an exceptional job with it. I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars and if you are looking for something of a different pace than you’re run of the mill mindless mainstream film go buy this entertaining flick at www.supertaskforce.com and check out www.facebook.com/supertaskforce for updates.


 Blood Orgy

Blood Orgy at Beaver Lake (DVD) – Mike Hartman and the Silver Bullet Pictures gang is at it again in their latest gross out adventure about a doctor… Dr. Bung to be exact that has combined ecstasy, Viagra, and cocaine to make the ultimate drug called “69”. Soon Dr. Bung is being by two woman hitmen because he hasn’t tested it on humans yet and his boss wants out there for the masses now! While the women hitman try to get rid of the body and the drug they lose it only to have two rednecks find it. The rednecks spread it around like moonshine and no one is safe at Beaver Lake as they begin to slaughter and fuck everything and everyone they can get their hands on. I give the flick 2 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.silverbulletpictures.com .

 

Germ Z (DVD) – A military satellite is knocked out of orbit screaming towards earth after a meteor hits it. The satellite lands in the mountains of a very small town where the military explains stay away until they get there to survey the crash. Even with the firefighters staying away and containing the forest fire they soon become sick and begin changing. Once changed, the victims become raging cannibals until their brains eventually explode for no reason. The small town is under attack and it’s all up to the young sheriff to stop the raging cannibals in this low budget bloodbath that just happened to be released by Fangoria Magazine. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Out of One’s Misery (DVD/internet) – Filmmaker Michael Sharpe puts together a creepy and cool short film about a man named David. He may be haunted, he may not, he may be insane, and he may have already gone insane and is coming back to reality? Whatever it is Mr. Sharpe gives you a short film thriller that will have you at the edge of your seat as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. Found out more about this project and more at www.facebook.com/sharpeedgefilms .

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Also you now can purchase the co-directed project from Daniel Boyd and myself  called, “Jagoff Massacre” at www.jagoffmassacre.com

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews #303

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Gross Movie Reviews #303

 

By Tim Gross

 

More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead (DVD) – Another great documentary about a horror film that is a favorite of many horror fans. But this isn’t just any horror film the documentary covers… it’s the zombie film that changed everything about zombies. Just like 1968s ‘Night of the Living Dead’, ‘Return of the Living Dead’ caught everyone by surprise in the mid-80s by introducing zombies wanting brains, zombies talk, and be a new kind of entertainment. This documentary tracks down all who were involved and learns of how it all came together and how no one exactly knew that this zombie film would take the next step in zombie film evolution. A must see for all as I give it 4 stars.

Infinte Santa

Infinte Santa 8000 (DVD) – What once started as a webisodes project from Michael Neel and Greg Ansin after their awesome independent anthology ‘Drive-in Horrorshow’ has now become a feature length animated film after two long years of hard work. And I am here to say the hard work paid off in this beautiful animated feature that features a Robo Santa a world that is far into a war torn future! This is the type of film that makes me wonder if the filmmakers behind it reach into a horror fan’s dark soul and bring to life something of the likes of Robo Santa. The film has a great and entertaining beginning that sets the pace for you the viewer of knowing what your brain is about to witness as Robo Santa is facing off a full robot in a bootleg Thunderdome. And they are fighting for meat as meat is scarce and the new money with the world looking like one big wasteland straight out of a ‘Mad Max’ film. But as Santa goes back to the North Pole with his Robo reindeer he knows he is going back to the one person who still believes. And her name is Martha. Martha is what keeps the old man going. But there is some who want to take that away from him and the menace that wants to take the happiness away is the “Creator” who made Martha. The Creator sends an evil bunny with exploding peeps, monkey men, and mutations, even Martha clones to kill Santa and steal Martha away only to destroy her for good. It is a holiday classic of good versus evil in this animated feature that is complete chaotic fun! It is not only one of the best independent films of the year but I am glad to say one my favorite horror films in the past few years. The dedication of Michael Neel and all who are involved with Burnt Reindeer Films should be proud of their project that I would put up there with the likes of ‘Heavy Metal’, ‘Fire and Ice’. What sealed the deal on this great film was the quote from Robo Santa in the film, “Just how I like my mutants, ugly, crispy, and dead!” That is perfection for me. Horror movie fans if there is one horror film you buy this holiday season it must be “Infinite Santa 8000” or Robo Santa and myself are coming Mad Max style down your chimney and throwing you in the bootleg Thunderdome! I give the film 4 out of 4 stars and it can be found at www.midnightreleasing.com and more info about Greg and others can be found at www.infinitesanta.com . If you need more look for the intentional or unintentional video game Gauntlet scene during the big fight between Robo Santa and Creator’s minions.

Eureka (DVD) – An odd Rutger Hauer film from 1983 that also stars Gene Hackman, Ed Lauter, Mickey Rouke, Joe Pesci, and Joe Spinell! But what Rutger Hauer film isn’t a bit odd as most of his career choices always make you think. But Gene Hackman is a man who searched for gold for 15 years during the time of the gold rush finally finding after a very weird encounter with a woman who helps tell his future. Years later and Hackman’s character now owning an island and more money than can be printed finds himself feeling like his world is falling apart as Rutger Hauer is taking his daughter away, people want his island, and they want to kill him. Weird but a fun watch for Rutger Hauer fans as I give it 2 stars.

8213: Gacy House (DVD) – A found footage film about Ghost Hunters investigating a vacant home in March 2006. The home is supposed to be where Gacy’s old house was. They even say in the opening credits that the original home was destroyed in 1979 I believe and a new home was built there. But during the film during the so-called investigation the ghost hunters talk about the old house, wiring, etc. This is the type of film that just gives paranormal experts a bad name hell if I was a ghost hunter I would be insulted by this big piece of elephant shit! I give it 0 stars.

Ridge War

Ridge War Z (DVD) – An independent zombie film that takes entirely different approach but at the same time trying to cash in on the similar title of Brad Pitt’s project. A reporter tracks down three soldiers who survived a battle with zombies to protect a ridge and write a book on it. The filmmaker Alek Gearhart takes the approach of the reporter helping the soldiers get over the evil events that happened and to relive some of the horrible events to make their lives better and help him to write his book based on the events. The filmmaker dedicates the film to all veterans who were in a war as tries to use this dramatic approach to show how tough it can be for vets to live with the burden of war and the decisions made during the battles. It’s different, a little talky at times but I gotta give credit to the filmmaker doing something very different with the zombie genre. I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.braindamagefilms.com .

Amnesiac (DVD) – A foreign independent film that tries to outsmart the viewer by over thinking the plot and just confusing the shit out of me by the end of the film. The film begins with two sisters and the one’s boyfriend Thom going all ‘Witchboard’ with an Ouija board by doing a séance to contact a spirit. But as the three get more involved in the spirit’s world as things go weird to the point that the film becomes about the spirit who killed people in a past life but is now haunted by the people who were contacting him through the board… maybe? All I know this film my head hurt and it got boring as the filmmaker over thought the plot. I give the independent film 0 out of 4 stars and you can find it at www.midnightreleasing.com .

The Man with the Iron Fists (DVD) – A film that steals a bunch of random Asian Cinema and smashes it into a crazy action film to pimp RZA! It’s not bad, it’s not good, and it’s just one of those films that are a little too much over the top. I give it 2 stars.

Daisy Derkins, Dogsitter of the Damned! (DVD) – Daisy has just gotten a part time job being a dog sitter for a very strange dude in a black robe. But he gives Daisy permission to do pretty much anything she wants as long as she keeps an eye out for the dog. Bad move Ex-Lax! Daisy invites two friends over who want to get Daisy high and drunk and bullshit about the guy who is stalking her after one date. Once they are about to enter the point of no return in drunken terms Daisy hears a voice or laughter, causing the friends to call paranormal expert/pinup model Delia to find the issue and film it for her cable access show. If that wasn’t enough to scare Daisy her stalker comes to the house to sing to her, a witch begins to fuck with them, and a serial killer who looks like a bootleg combo of Dimebag Darryl and John Carl Buechler killing everyone in the house, and we have a wendigo that tries to rape the paranormal expert/pinup model. This all happens just because the strange dude parties with a Mexican wrestler and just needed to feed his dog the Dogsitter. Big boobs, blood, woman with tattoos and a Mexican wrestler… I was entertained. I give the independent flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

You can purchase my latest book from Library of the Living Dead Press called, “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews” at www.amazon.com .

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and I talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at http://bloodbathsandboomsticks.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place that you can purchase a Gross Movie Reviews t-shirt but also Cannibal Campout, Woodchipper Massacre, and Spookies T-shirts also!!!! Go towww.fastcustomshirts.com for details.