Gross Movie Reviews #395
Daylight’s End (On Demand) – Some time has passed since a plague has just about wiped out humans. Some are survivors and some have become some kind of vampire/zombie mutants that now feed on humans. A man on a lonely mission helps out a young woman who gets jumped by other survivors. She takes him to a safe haven in the city that happens to be a police station where survivors have fought of the mutants and plan on leaving soon. But problems come along with the lone hero as a smarter mutant or “Alpha” is setting up the survivors to be a late night snack if they do not leave soon. The pacing of the flick is good, some gore, it has the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen, and it’s another post-apocalyptic film which I enjoy. But the whole time watching the movie I felt like something was missing, not sure what? It’s kinda weird because the film is solid but not great as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Blair Witch (On Demand) – So there is a sequel or is it a remake? It’s a sequel… Honestly who gives a fuck as the movie annoyed the shit out of me just like the original. Heather’s brother now grown up and obsessed with finding answers to his sister’s disappearance decides to travel to the woods to do his own investigating. After a few crappy jump scares and shakier camera work, oh look… the Blair Witch! I will stick with ‘Book of Shadows’ if I wanna keeps abusing myself with these films as I give it 0 stars.
Ninja III: The Domination (DVD) – Lucinda Dickey, James Hong, and Sho Kosugi make the ten year old still in me love this product of the 80s all over again. A dying ninja possesses the young and beautiful Lucinda Dickey after she finds him in the desert. Not knowing of this when she sleeps the ninja spirit dresses up, grabs the sword, and begins his or her reign of terror. After a visit with screen legend James Hong, Lucinda and her boyfriend find out only a ninja can truly kill a ninja. Yep, its corny… But not in 1984/1985 where the ten year old me couldn’t get enough of this flick playing on cable TV. I give this classic 3 stars.
Comin’ At Ya! (DVD) – Old school western but shot in 3-D with some fun visuals that make this lost gem of a film absolutely a must watch. Before ‘Treasure of Four Crowns’ the same people made this flick about a cowboy named H.H. Hart who is about to get married until two evil brothers try to kill him and steal his bride. Once healed Mr. Hart goes on a revenge tour of tracking down the two brothers to slaughter them! If you are a spaghetti western fan or just a cinema buff and have not seen this yet? Correct this mistake quickly as it is a wonderful and fun movie experience as I give the flick 3 stars.
Cyborg 3: The Recycler (DVD) – First, we got JCVD in a post-apocalyptic world. Second time around we got a young Angelina Jolie as a cyborg and naked! Third time around it was like the director and casting person got together threw a bunch of genre veteran names into a hat, picked them, and made a movie that no one will care that it was made… except me. Richard Lynch is Lewellyn a man who is willing to track down all cyborgs, steal their eyes, and sell them for spare parts. Lewellyn becomes obsessed when he finds out information about a female cyborg that is pregnant and tracks her to a cyborg safe haven. From there of course its war! It is B-movie fun if you lasted through the first two films this makes a great dessert film buffs as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Night of Something Strange (On Demand) – Right or wrong, good or bad, this movie proved to be “something strange”. A janitor at a morgue gets the wise idea to have sex with a corpse. The corpse is a Jane Doe that just happens to be dead from radiation or STD’s. The janitor goes home, mutates, and then rapes mom! From there gets run down by two drunken hillbillies and hitches a ride to a convenience store to kill the clerk. And finally makes his way to a motel where a group of teenagers have deiced to stay for a night of sex on their way to a beach for spring break. Great effects, zombies, and hilarious vagina punching may have made Frank Henenlotter proud. I like to call the film “Spring Breakers vs. Sex Starved/Flesh Eating Zombies” and give the movie 3 stars as I laughed quite a few times.
Killbillies (DVD) – You learn something new every day as apparently this is the first Slovenia horror film ever released. Zina is a model who is traveling with another model and a photographer to the countryside for their new photo shoot. While setting up, two ‘Wrong Turn’ extras show up touching themselves and kidnap the small crew of four. The two disgusting men don’t wanna cannibalize them but use them to make some strange moonshine or vodka. Knowing death is coming Zina forces her way out to try and escape these men. Great first horror flick out of the gate and hope for many more as I give this flick 3 stars.
Detention (DVD) – Dolph Lundgren is a former Special Forces vet who must put his skills to work again when he is a teacher that must protect his students. Dolph gets stuck with detention duty on his last day of work. While he is trying to keep it together through this last duty some criminals have plans to use the school as part of their heist of heroin. Once the school is locked down for the weekend with just the students in detention, the criminals make their way in and set up. When they go to kill all that is left Dolph breaks into action as his students to stop them. With the Nu Image logo you knew you were getting that low budget direct to video fun. I give it 2 stars.
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Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.
Also you can pick up my new book “Gross Movie Reviews: More Sequels, More Massacres, More Beer” at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-more-massacres-more-sequels-and-more-beer/paperback/product-22853681.html
Want to win a little holiday fear this season? Then enter the Infinite Santa 8000 Movie Book Giveaway, running from December 9th to 16th!
Infinite Santa 8000 is a web series and feature film about a cyborg Santa Claus who must fight mutants and robo-people to survive in a vast, post-apocalyptic wasteland. Horrorhound Magazine called it, “A heartwarming tale of holiday spirit, reindeer, and copious amounts of blood.”
Entry is free, and one grand prize winner will receive a limited-edition book of the Infinite Santa 8000 Movie! This book features full-color artwork taken directly from the film. It has all the explosions, mutants, and Christmas carnage a horror fan could ask for.
The grand prize winner will also receive a poster autographed by Greg Ansin and Michael Neel, the mad minds behind the Infinite Santa universe.
What’s more, every entrant automatically wins a DVD of the first six webisodes and a Christmas card from Infinite Santa himself.
1)You MUST BE SUBSCRIBED to the Infinite Santa Twitter and/or HAVE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT to enter!
2) MUST be 18 or older OR have parent/guardian permission.
3) Contest opens: 12/9/16 Closes: 12/16/16
4) Open to US/Canada Residents Only
5) You can only subscribe and Follow/Like once, but you can Tweet daily for more entries!
6) Winner will be chosen at random, so the more entries you make the better your chances!
7) DO NOT get scammed! Winners will be emailed directly with address provided. We will contact the winners on December 17th, 2016 via email. If any winner does not respond by December 21st at 5pm PST, we reserve the right to hand over to the next randomly selected participant.
8) Winners will be announced publicly on December 19th and not before that date for ANY REASON! Winners will be notified via email and announced publicly on the Infinite Santa 8000 Twitter, Facebook, and Newsletter.
9) The prizes will be sent out as soon as possible. Due to the busy time of year, prizes are not guaranteed to arrive before Christmas. Please keep in mind if you intend the prizes as gifts.
Thank you and Good Luck!
Special thank you to Ed Quillin and Kyle Poling for all their help!
It took awhile but it is almost here folks… “Gross Movie Reviews: More Massacres, More Sequels, More Beer!” will be released September 15, 2016 at the price of $13. Thank you to Ed Quillin and Kyle Poling for their help on the new book. I will have the new book with me also at Cinema Wasteland and the Too Groovy Toy Show a week later!
List Price: $30.00
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This book is the follow up to Tim Gross’s successful review book “The Big Ass Book of Gross Movie Reviews”. Tim brings you unbelievable amount of reviews of horror, independent horror, sci-fi, and quite a few bad flicks. With this book Tim lives his dream of writing, reviewing, and watching as many movies he can get his hands on…
Also you can purchase a copy locally in the burgh at Rickert and Beagle Books: They are located at 3233 West Liberty Ave in Dormont (15216) Call us at (412) 344-7444(412) 344-7444
In the land of faith-based productions, a husband-and-wife team celebrate their dark side
CHARLOTTE, NC: Perhaps the most prolific Charlotte-based filmmaker ever, Mark Baranowski announces the official guidebook to the varied assortment of edgy independent movies he created almost single-handedly between 2001 and 2011 – From Despair To Beloved: The Provocative Cinema of On Mark Productions.
Co-authored by Tucson, AZ writer-editor-filmmaker, Scott Kenyon Barker, the book serves as an introduction for those not already familiar with the oft-controversial films of Baranowski and his wife/creative partner, model-actress Ryli Morgan, while providing fans of these same films an in-depth look into their making.
In an effort to provide worthwhile content at odds with the likes of Hollywood, Mark and Ryli knew from the start that their microbudget films had to offer demanding audiences what most of the blockbusters lacked: heart. That, and sometimes excessive blood and bare skin… The result led many to wonder just how much of themselves the couple revealed to the camera, and to question their true motives for movie making: Were they following a dream, or just living out their fantasies?
The answer to this question and many more is revealed in From Despair To Beloved: The Provocative Cinema of On Mark Productions, which also includes an exclusive interview with Mark and Ryli; behind-the-scenes stories and photos; an entire shooting script for Mark’s latest film, Hardly Beloved; poster and video box art; ad mats; production stills and cast recollections.
From Despair To Beloved: The Provocative Cinema of On Mark Productions
by Scott Kenyon Barker, Mark Baranowski
Publisher: BearManor Media
Publication Date: August 7, 2015
English (with B&W photos)
6” x 0.7” x 9”
$34.95 list (Hardcover)
$24.95 list (Paperback)
For adult readers