Tag Archives: Tim Gross

Gross Movie Reviews #505

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #505

Cry Havoc (On Demand) – I was so looking forward to Bootleg Chuck Bronson’s first slasher film that includes Richard Tyson as the bad guy! Richard Tyson is known only as “The Voyeur” as he hides in the deep mountains as he has made the F.B.I’s top ten most wanted list. The Voyeur has granted an aspiring journalist to visit and interview him so he can explain his art and experiments he is doing. What the world doesn’t know is The Voyeur uses a mass murderer only known as “Havoc” to conduct his projects. Young women are kidnapped and thrown out in the woods for Havoc and it is filmed by all of Voyeur’s cameras for his art. Interview is going well and The Voyeur is happy until Bootleg Chuck Bronson has followed of them to the secret location as he is looking for his missing daughter he hasn’t seen in years. If Havoc isn’t slaughtering people we get long scenes of Bootleg Chuck Bronson walking around and then a long climatic fight scene that really doesn’t end… Hell the film itself just stops like they forgot to edit the ending in or something? I had high expectations going in but they gradually were dying a slow death as the movie went on with its non-ending as I give the Bootleg Chuck Bronson flick only 2 stars this go around.

 

The Deadly Mantis (DVD) – A fun 50s sci-fi flick about a giant prehistoric mantis that has awakened from the ice above the Arctic Circle. With it traveling southward the U.S. military declares war on the large creature as its beginning to feed on humans along the way. The monstrous mantis is cheesy and never gets old as I give the classic monster flick 3 stars.

 

Ghetto Blaster (YouTube) – The 1989 direct-to-video ‘Death Wish’ clone stars Richard Hatch as Travis and R.G. Armstrong as his father. Travis has returned to the old neighborhood after three long years and the neighborhood has changed. To help set the tone of the movie it opens up with a drive-by shooting between gangs that a child is shot in. So of course this must mean gangs rule the streets of the old neighborhood and Travis’ father doesn’t want to give up the old store and retire. Then a botch robbery happens when the Hammers come to collect and his father is shot and killed. From there Travis uses his Special Forces skills to prank the Hammers gang and get under their skin but eventually gets physical when they kidnap his daughter. This is your third tier vigilante stuff but entertaining enough I was glad to track it down as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Night Shift Collection (VHS) – First released in 1986 then again in 1994 and they are two short films based on the Stephen King collection of stories of the same name. The first short is ‘The Woman in the Room’ about a lawyer whose mother is dying from cancer and he is trying to decide if he should help her along? Thus he cannot stand the misery she is in. The second short is ‘The Boogeyman’ about a man name Mr. Billings who has had a couple of his children die in his care. Mr. Billings goes to see a psychiatrist because he believes it is the Boogeyman that has killed them? Depending on the info you read on the internet these two shorts based on the King stories were student films paired together and put out there to capitalize on all the King film adaptions. Anyway the shorts are a little dull but worth the watch if you never knew they existed as I give it 2 stars. P.S. the shorts were filmed in 1982 and 1983.

 

Night Shift Collection 2 (VHS) – Another pair of short films that were released in 1989 claiming to be a part of Stephen King’s short story collection to film but only one of the shorts truly were. The second one may have been influenced by King’s work but had nothing to do with King. Again these two shorts were filmed in 1983 but never released until 1989 with less fanfare than the first set. Hell this second set was only a rumor in some horror circles and it seems the means of seeing it might be YouTube these days. What is weird about this set is the first short is ‘The Disciples of the Crow’ or what we all would come to know in 1984 as ‘Children of the Corn’. Same movie in short form with no stars and less about the corn and more about worshipping crows. The second short is someone else’s work called ‘The Night Walker’ that is about a young man named Walter who worked one night shift in a hotel that just reopened room #321 for the first time since the 40s. Apparently a couple on their wedding night did a murder/suicide and this has Walter curious and scared at the same time. This collection is worth the watch for the mere reason of its connection to ‘Children of the Corn’ as I give it 2 stars.

Post-Apocalyptic Commando Shark (DVD) – A hilarious concept for an independent film about Soviet doctors splice human and shark DNA together to make a Russian commando shark. This soldier enables the Red Army to invade the United States and begin WWIII. U.S. citizens fight for their lives but the man-shark is hell bent on killing every American soldier it finds. The idea is absolutely wonderful but begins to lose its luster about halfway through the film. To me it felt if they had a great idea with a subpar script and trying to use ‘Sharknado’ as a springboard for all to come running. Better script equals better movie so instead of 82 minutes maybe you should have ended it after 35 minutes. But hey kudos to yinz for getting Debbie Rochon for a cup of coffee as it wasn’t no ‘Bad CGI Sharks’ and for that I can only give this feature 2 stars.

 

Haunter (YouTube) – Philip Brocklehurst who seems to working on a new short film every month these days has another about a young male. This young man is disrupted from his sleep to find his house is haunted and it has had enough of him being there… Scaring him life may not be enough! I give it 2 ½ out 4 stars as I would have liked to see this short film go a little longer as there felt like there was more to the story?

 

Devil’s Trail (DVD) – Filmmaker Henrique Couto decided to dip his toes into the “Found Footage” genre with this tale he filmed in 2016. We have two internet hosts heading out to New Jersey Pine Barrens for a 21-day survival trip for their internet show. They will film everything they do and what happens as they are only allowed to bring three items a piece for this survival trip. Along the way they discuss the “Jersey Devil” among other urban legends about the woods. But as things do not go as planned for the duo the relationship breaks down and strange things begin to happen. Does it have something to do with the witches they encounter at the beginning of their trip, very possible? I agree with Henrique in his interview in the extras this genre of film can die horribly if the ending isn’t interesting and with his ‘Devil’s Trail’ whether you love it or hate it you cannot lie the ending of this film makes it worth watching! Thank you for that my friend as I give the film 3 stars.

 

Dinosaurus! (DVD) – A super cheesy film from 1960 that has a construction crew unearthing prehistoric dinosaurs from the sea floor that includes a caveman. The man who runs the island finds the caveman first and has big plans once getting his body off the island. Problem a storm rolls through and resurrects the caveman and dinosaurs and they run rampant through the island chasing the natives and the construction crew! This is B-movie stuff well worth the watch and laughs as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh (Shudder) – Quite the Eye-talian film mystery as Julie Wardh is married to a wealthy Wall Street dude but also has been bad taste in men before and during her marriage. Julie Wardh only got married because she considered him safe for her lifestyle but has gotten bored again and out banging the socks off any nice looking dude she can find. But there is a catch one them could be a serial killer as this is ongoing in her life a man with a razor blade is slicing up young women. An interesting twist in the film comes when someone tries to blackmail Julie but gets her best friend Carol murdered but this only serves as the appetizer to what the ending of the film brings us. Usually these types of film or giallo are not my cup of tea but the ending makes it all the worthwhile as I actually didn’t see that ending coming and for that I give it 3 stars.

 

Street Asylum (VHS) – This 1989 film was one of those flicks that I seen released in theaters for a weekend and then disappeared. Of course I knew Wings Hauser was the star and found this on YouTube so it was time to finally get my first watch in. Wings Hauser is Sgt. Ryder who is working the Hollywood beat of degenerates. After he gets shot during a rooftop incident he gets an offer from a captain to join a special police force called “S.Q.U.A.D.” This new force is going to clean up the streets of Hollywood one body bag at a time. As Ryder first gets into the new swing of things he soon understands things are not right as his partners go nuts and supposedly commit suicide. Ryder slowly going insane discovers he is part of a human experiment to make a better police officer. Once he removes the implant from his back it is now time for revenge against the man behind it all, the new mayor to be! As usual Wings Hauser was great; Brion James as the crazy preacher… perfect, but the film lags in the middle some like a few too many edits may have been made to this B-Grade sci-fi thriller as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Cy Warrior (VHS) – I can never get enough of cheesy Eye-talian Sci-fi stuff and this was no different as Henry Silva plays the villain mercenary hired to bring in a cyborg. The military loses a newly built cyborg with no program who decides to take a stroll to an island. There a boy finds him and takes the cyborg to his hot sister with almost saying, “Found you the perfect dude to bump uglies with and someone I think is bad ass because he is part man/part machine.” The military wants Silva to pick up their secret project before anyone notices? Silva just wants to fucking kill a shitload of innocent humans and blow up this thing of the face of the Earth. Yep, there is your movie besides the cyborg salsa dancing, I think, with the hot sister and trying to escape the clutches of Henry Silva. Worth the laughs folks as I give this feature 2 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

Gross Movie Reviews #504

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #504

 

Zambo, King of the Jungle (DVD) – The film stars Brad Harris as one of two convicts who claims he is innocent and has been thrown into some third world prison. He is being transported most likely to his death with another convict on a prison train. They make a break for it during the ride and use the jungle for cover. But the jungle can be a deadly place as they got to cross through 50 miles of it to make it safely across a border. Along the way Brad’s character Zambo loses his friend to death and natives find him. Three years Zambo is a jungle legend of helping the natives throughout the jungle in their fight against the white man and others who are trying to invade their territory. Everything is hunky dory until some hot babe and friends come looking for Zambo for help in treasure hunting. The premise sounds fun but I would have to say this might one of the more boring exploitation flicks I have watched… But always keep in mind when watching these early 70s flicks it was a whole different world then so when we watch our view could be skewed but I say it was dull and only giving it 1 ½ stars.

 

The Stay Awake (DVD) – A horror film from 1988 that was brought to my attention by a good dude Zane Hershberger a couple months back and was able to finally check it out. 1988, horror movie I never heard of, let’s just say I was stoked as hell. So apparently we open with a serial killer of 11 women is given the needle and of course vows to come back also like ‘Prison’, ‘Shocker’, ‘The Horror Show’, insert a couple more titles from that year or so… Anyway present day 1988 the ghost reappears to haunt some girls at the St. Mary’s School where a teacher and students hang out all night in an event called “The Stay Awake”. Of course this isn’t a U.S. thing and IMDB claims South Africa which could also explain why it is so hard to find until recently. Zane I really wanted to enjoy this film man but not a whole lot happens except the women running around the school and for the ghost of a serial killer he lacked the skill in killing as no one was really dying. Maybe this is just an example of us products of the 80s that are movie nerds that need to shut up or just go watch ‘The Monster Squad’ for the hundredth time… again as I give this 1 ½ stars.

Deep Undead (DVD) – This is a 2005 independent film from Dave Castiglione that just got an upgrade in every way for independent film fans to rediscover all over again. Two divers mysteriously die in the Miles Cove Harbor where there just happens to be a shipwreck from 1923 and a recent nuclear power plant accident nearby. The locals have lots of questions but authorities are keeping things quiet as fish have also recently disappeared or died off so a dive team is hired to find the bodies. The dive team is not all too happy finding out the spill was nearby where they are going but want paid and don’t wanna make too much of a fuss. As the investigation moves forward strange things begin happen, stuff washes ashore, a reporter really digs into the truth of what is actually happening, and people keep bringing up the weird shipwreck accident of 1923. Add that in with more mysterious deaths you get an amazing low budget film that has some wonderful underwater shots for the film that will make filmmakers take notice that it can be done if you put your mind to it. I really enjoy this film because it has that Roger Corman early 80s creature feature feel combined with that independent early 90s look. This entertaining film has all you could want: weird creatures, great underwater scenes, and a toxic spill for a backdrop as I am grateful Dave is getting this out there again as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

Beyond White Space (DVD) – So as usual I took a chance watching bootleg Michael Pare in a film that is set in 2156 A.D. Bootleg Michael Pare is chasing after some space dragon that is able to jump time and space that killed his father several years before. If he can capture the dragon it becomes the space haul of a lifetime? Honestly the film is more filler than anything and even with the 30 second cameo from Vernon Wells it still wasn’t worth checking out as I give 0 stars.

 

Skeleton Man (DVD) – As I continue my quest to watch “dumb shit no one wants to watch” I came across this feature that stars Michael Rooker and Casper Van Dien. They are part of an undercover delta force team posing as hikers so they are able to hike through the woods on a search and rescue mission. They are searching for a second group of soldiers that have disappeared in these woods from the impossible force of an invisible entity that when it appears it is a generic grim reaper. Yes it was dumb! So folks just remember stick with watching the racist bootleg version of ‘Predator’ in the hilarious ‘Robowar’ as I give this film a ½ star.

Amityville No Escape (Blu-ray) – Henrique Couto takes his own stab at the notorious franchise to see if he can breathe some new life into an old concept. George is writing a paper on “Fear” and he is making a documentary about his experiment into “Fear”. George gets a few friends and they head to Amityville so he can record reaction and feeling of himself and friends facing their fears. We the audience is introduced to a long lost VHS tape that was from 1997 recording events of a woman that moved into the infamous Amityville home and what transpired. Once the group finds their location and start talking about “Fear” that spookiness ramps up as a little girl is seen and we get flashes of footage of strange occurrences in the 1997 VHS tape. I have likened very few paranormal films and this falls more in a different category than that for me and that is “not my cup of tea” feature. First, I love the ending of the film and that is a great cast of actors but I just could not get into the film. That doesn’t mean it is bad by any means I just feel I may not be the audience for this stab into the “Amityville” series. Second, no matter what Henrique makes I will always give the film a fair shot for the mere reason that dude is one the most talented people behind the camera today! For that I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Amityville Vibrator (Google Drive) – Just when I thought I seen it all in the past year: “House Shark, Velocipastor, Shark Exorcist, Banana Splits”. You know stuff I believe only exists in my weird ass brain but somehow gets pooped out into the universe? Well I was wrong as Nathan Rumler a filmmaker trying to make his mark in the independent scene decided to come with one of the sleaziest films that has graced this earth in some time! This borderline porno flick begins with the notorious shooting we all know about in 1976 in the infamous Amityville home. The audience is in for an eye opening experience from the get goes as the opening scene is a woman in a demon mask going to town on herself… then having her head blown clean off into a huge blood stain thus allowing the vibrator to fall to the floor and getting lost.  Now present day we get Cathy who has just purchased the infamous home and has thrown out her useless boyfriend. Cathy does what any depressed human would go do and that would be go to a random yard sale with your hot punk girlfriend and receive a free possessed vibrator! As Cathy gets home and the possessed vibrator introduces the young lady to ungodly visions of pleasure we come to find out her ex-boyfriend isn’t just an asshole? Chad just happens to be a part of a duo who has been tracking down all the possessed items from the haunted home so they can no longer harm people. If that doesn’t sound weird at all, prepare you are in for a treat as shit goes globally satanic in a graphically sexual way like never before. We come to learn Satan needs inside Cathy as I will leave at that. Nathan kudos to you for beating Joanna Angel to the punch in making something that will not be forgotten as I give this sleazefest 3 out of 4 stars. The flaw I could point out in this hilarious idea is the shrooms scene went on way too long, there is a point to it but shouldn’t have been longer than 30 seconds.

 

Scarecrow County (Blu-ray) – Our story begins with a woman donating books to the local small town library. She is from the small town but is just in to clean out her recently deceased parents’ house. She has a verbal spat with the town drunk about her dead brother in the library that sets the tone of the film. The librarian finds a notebook in the pile of books from the dead brother Joey Gibbs. A name most in town haven’t heard or talked about for years. The librarian reads on as it peaks her interest and begins asking her father questions about Joey as he went to high school with him. Small town legend, small town ideas but her reading this book sets things in motion not only among old friends but people start having untimely deaths. If you are into killer scarecrow in small town drama then this is up your alley for a Saturday afternoon watch as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

Another episode of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks is up!

0
Posted on by

This week we return and we step knee deep into this Corona epidemic but we managed to pull out 3 more movies from the depths of the shitstorm.  First we have the most decisive flick that we have ever had on the show in VIVARIUM.  Next up it’s some 5 star puppet-sploitation in MEET THE FEEBLES.  And finally we have a great horror comedy from 2015 in TEEN LUST.  We also chat about Arnold vs. Jackie Chan in journey to the west.  The new media platform Quibi, New Sam Raimi stuff, we create a new box based soda service in Faygo-box, News, and we answer all you questions and comments.  So download this episode or we will send a screaming alien child to scream in your face!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #503

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #503

 

Something Evil (YouTube) – An early 70s TV flick that stars Darren McGavin as part of a married couple who decides to buy an old country home out in the middle of nowhere. Problem is they picked the wrong home and it has some weird paranormal things happening Possibly Satan or just some demonic being. Being city folk and not sure how to deal with it they even look into getting a priest. Sounds cool if you’re a fan of this 70s TV stuff but even the die hards got to admit there isn’t much of a payoff when it is all said and done as I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

The Panther Squad (DVD) – A crazy Sybil Danning flick from the early 80s about a new organization that has been formed called N.O.O.N. They would like to conquer space as most places on the planet except for a few select islands refuse to cooperate are all for this. So a group called “Clean Space” takes over the space rocket and holds it hostage. In response the governments okay a covert operation that calls in Danning’s character and her elite woman military squad. Besides looking like extras from a Duran Duran video they help track down Clean Space and put a stop to their tactics. Hilarious B-movie stuff that gets you Sybil Danning in skin tight leather throughout the feature, looking through binoculars for at least half of the film. Not totally sure if Full Moon actually has the rights but sure glad they put it out on DVD for all of us to enjoy. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Blood Quantum (Shudder) – Another twist on the zombie genre where a Native American community begins to see weird shit: gutted fish become alive again, dogs are dying, and then a drunken dude begins biting people. Not fully explained how it started this sends an Indian reservation into lockdown fighting off hordes of the undead. Six months later and the whole apocalypse has happened. The residents of the reservation have come to find out they are immune for an unknown reason. Now they discuss it a couple times why it might be… but they still need to survive as they can still be eaten and overtaken. Fighting among each other is their downfall as they fight over whether they should allow the white man into their secure community? Good amount of gore and a twist in the zombie genre makes the film an intriguing choice. I like the film but didn’t love it but feel no matter what kind of horror fan you are it does deserve a chance as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Easter Holocaust (DVD) – An independent holiday film that tackles the Easter Bunny that is just an absolutely too fucking long of a movie. EDITING IS NOT A BAD THING KIDS!!! The bunny happens to be an evil force that collects human hearts and a woman who escapes the local asylum is looking for evidence of the bunny existing. There is a whole boring storyline about the woman being the chosen one and a dumb hillbilly cannibal family. The only real redeeming thing about the whole film is a ‘Death by a Suction Cup Dildo!” Outside of that you can live your life without watching this as I give a half star. Thank me later from saving you to watch 2 plus hours of complete crap.

 

The Open Trail (DVD) – Another film from Dan Komarek that comes in about 34 minutes is about two friends Sam and Chris going on a hike in the woods. Things are going great until Sam falls off some high rocks and possibly breaking his leg. With friends not leaving friends behind Chris does his best to get Sam back close enough to get him help? But they both believe something or someone is just behind them at all times. After hearing gun shots in the distance Sam’s leg feels better to run but it’s too late as the two friends must face off with their unknown assailant. Mr. Komarek was smart to keep the film short as it is rough around the edges plot wise but more than makes up for it with the characters legit chemistry between them as they fight for their lives. You can see Dan Komarek is passionately trying to get better with each project and a lot of times that is what independent film fans want as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Motor Home Massacre (YouTube) – Some so-called friends jump into an old RV and go for a ride into the woods. That part of the woods (Black Creek) that just happened to have a murder or two in the night before. This doesn’t stop the friends from enjoying the quiet area for drinking and all the sex. Of course there is an unhappy psycho who is pissed all the sex is going down and people need to be killed with a bad plot twist. A lot of us love slasher films and a lot of us enjoy independent slashers but when the project has no heart from the beginning and looks like the story was dumped on film that is never good. Great title, disappointing film, which I am not thankful for as I give it a ½ star.

Bad CGI Sharks (DVD) – A brilliant story about two brothers Matthew and Jason who are very close in many ways as kids. As kids they wanted to make a shark movie like no other but eventually that dream was squished as their father considered Jason a lost cause. Many years later Mathew has grown up and living out in Hollywood! Mathew’s life is turned upside down when his older brother Jason shows up who just so happens to be a bum who still wants to make shark movies. After some fighting, smoking weed, and talking about their movie script with no ending they wrote as kids called, “Sharks Outta Water” a floating shark shows up! It first eats the neighbor but eventually it begins chasing the brothers. It seems a man with a magical clapper board as brought their childhood movie script to life and now they must deal with it in many hilarious ways. Don’t just rent, buy this fucking movie NOW! One of the most entertaining independent shark films ever made as I give this sure to be on the “Best of 2020 list” 4 out of 4 stars.

 

5G Zombies (On Demand) – Yep, leave it me to find another film trying to deal with the Corona Virus and of course it involves zombies. This independent film uses the 5G upgrades and the Corona Virus happening at the same time not a fluke. The upgrades is causing the virus to mutate and causing people to become zombies. Most of the film is a series of shorts spliced together of people doing their character parts over laptops and phones during the ongoing pandemic. Biggest difference between this film and the one from Full Moon is ‘5G Zombies’ goes out of its way to be serious where the other made it a joke from the start. Right or wrong in making these types of films during a pandemic can be debated forever but I just believe maybe this flick should have taken a clue from Full Moon. This film be forgotten quickly if even watched as I give it 1 star.

Killer Ants (On Demand) – A young couple (Evan and Cory) move to small town Texas from New York for a teaching job. Cory enjoyed New York very much and finds the move hard to adjust especially because she keeps getting bit by fire ants and a specialist in fire ants, Olivia has shown interest in Evan. While Cory becomes an amazing shitty cuntface of a character the fire ants have begun to mutate, growing larger, and acting much different than their species dictates. After the wonderful death of Cory in a fridge Olivia tries to not bang Evan on her gravesite in order to find out what is the real cause of her death. The real cause leads to something much more sinister than Olivia and Evan are prepared for. Kudos to the writer, filmmaker, and actress making up one of the most unlikable characters in a movie I have had the pleasure of watching die in a horror movie and for that I give this flick 3 stars.

 

The Strangeness (DVD) – An odd low budget flick that was filmed in 1980 but wasn’t released until 1985 into horror film obscurity. The film has found DVD recently allowing weirdos like me to watch the film and compare it to a film like ‘The Boogens’. A group of people are being paid to chart an abandoned mine called “Golden Spike Mine”. Abandoned many years ago because missing miners and miners refusing to work because of stories of a monster living in the mine. When a cave-in mishap happens the group chooses to go deeper in the mine thinking they can avoid the part of the mine with the stories of monsters. An unseen creature picks them off one by one as they go deeper into the mine until the creature is revealed and it’s a big Vagina! If that wasn’t enough listen to music as I believe John Carpenter might wanna get a lawsuit together? For me the film was neither good nor bad but was just happy to see this low budget mess as I give it 2 stars.

Zombie House Party Massacre (YouTube) – Finally a no budget film that lives up to its name as zombies are just trying to live civil lives in their home. But damn young humans come to rush the house to party and have unprotected sex! The zombies stay quiet in the upstairs room until one of the party goers hear the baby and take it. The zombies just wanting their zombie baby back chase the humans throughout the home and call for help from their zombie friends. What makes it hilarious as they chase the humans around the home they make fun of themselves that they must act a certain way in order to stay scary. Otherwise they are no different than any of us until they finally had enough and start eating the humans to get the zombie baby back! The short film is absolutely wonderful and I could not stop laughing at the zombie jokes as I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

OH, IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN! GROSSFEST SEE YINZ THERE!

0
Posted on by
So I know everyone is wondering if GrossFest is still going to happen….well I’m here to tell you it is. We are working with the George Washington Hotel to insure that we make everything as safe as possible for everyone. We will be practicing social distancing so plan on joining us July 25th and 26th! There are still some rooms left.
https://www.thegeorgewashington.com/

Three more episodes of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks to hopefully keep you sane during these times!

0
Posted on by

As this is our first week under the deadly virus takeover of COVID19 we retreat into our homes to check out 3 new movies.  First we have the 4th in the Hellraiser series HELLRAISER: BLOODLINES (A,K,A, Hellraiser IN SPACE!!!).  Then we have an early 80’s spoof of the slasher movies in STUDENT BODIES.  And lastly we chat about the Soska Sisters remake of the classic David Cronenberg joint in RABID.  We also take a journey down memory lane to recall what we have been watching through the first week of lockdown, we also list out top 10 favorite John Carpenter jams.  And if you listen to 54 minutes into the show you can actually pinpoint the exact moment Kyle catches the Corona Virus,  So enjoy this super-size show that are actually 2 podcasts jammed into one.  So Download this episode or Kyle might die!

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This go around we learn who is “Essential” and who “Expendable” is as we chart a course through 3 flicks showcasing the late great Max Von Sydow who we sadly lost over the weekend. The first being a part giant Kaiju movie part art house flick part Russian love/action story BRANDED.  Next we movie onto an all-time classic in CONAN THE DESTROYER.  And lastly we cover one hell of a great Canadian comedy in STRANGE BREW.  We also cover the most recent watches through the week, why we have quit watching the news; we lay out our guide to surviving the viral apocalypse, and much more.  So download this episode or Crom says TO HELL WITH YOU!  

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This week we are still all alive in these strange times and we return to bring you 3 more flicks to watch as you are stuck inside your house.  First we cover a classic western full of shoot outs that you won’t soon forget in THE WILD BUNCH.  Next we talk about “Vag Cannons” in SNATCHERS.  And finally a doughy with guy shows up to clean up an urban high school with his buddy Chappy Sinclair in the TBS jam THE PRINCIPAL.  Also we chat about naked lady E.T.  The return of The Dark Side of the Ring.  The joys of Dave Bautista, and a ton more.  So download this episode or Vagina monsters will shoot out of your butthole.

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #500

0
Posted on by

Gross Movie Reviews #500

 

The Dark Dealer (DVD) – This is another independent anthology from a dude, Tom Alexander that is his only director credit. He has done other things in the movie biz but apparently I guess he didn’t like didn’t after this 1995 feature. A young man stumbles into a blackjack game in the basement of an office building that he is running from an electrical force. He is asked to sit down as he has time to wait and each player has their story told by the dealer as he deals them all in for blackjack. First story is about a couple of low life criminals breaking into the wrong old man’s apartment… Pretty cool creature in this one. Second story has a music lawyer stealing dead blues artist music for profit. Third story of course is the young man who stumbled into the game. He is forced by a drug dealer to break into his father’s pharmacy lab company to grab some drugs to sell and all the young man was trying to do was get his girlfriend out of debt and clean. If you are a fan of the 90s version of “The Outer Limits” then this is right up your alley as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

 

Meet the Feebles (DVD) – Peter Jackson’s 1989 effort that wasn’t seen by most audiences until about 1994 after ‘Braindead’ aka ‘Dead Alive’ was dropped on horror fans. Best way to may describe this film is imagine if the Muppets were in a Bizarro parallel dimension. Robert is the newest cast member of the “Feeble” chorus for the ‘Meet the Feebles’ variety hour. Through Robert and his interactions we are introduced to all the cast and the reality of what goes on behind the scenes: sleaze, paternity suits, drugs, disease, a rat filming porn and that is just some of it. Everything seems to be going dandy until Heidi the star is fired when ‘Meet the Feebles’ has now been signed into syndication. To this day it is still one of the weirdest, most glorious films ever made and thank you Peter Jackson as I give it 4 stars!

 

The Goalie (On Demand) – A biopic about one the most famous NHL goaltenders Terry Sawchuk who played most of his career during the 50s and 60s without a goalie mask. Terry was considered then and still considered one of the best goalies to play in the league. The film touches upon how Terry beat himself up just to stay in the game because during this era of hockey goaltenders were considered expendable no matter how good you were. If you had a bad streak one season there was a chance you would be cut for the next guy in the minors and at a time when all the teams only carried one goalie. The story is somewhat sad but very interesting if you never been that big of a fan of hockey or on the other end a super sports nut as I give the flick 4 stars.

 

Black Face Killer (DVD) – This 2009 independent flick is set in 1978 Texas and I know the filmmaker is trying to go all Quentin Tarantino but I feel he failed in trying to go for that. Instead yes the film does come off a little racist. Hell they changed the name of the film to ‘The Minstrel Killer’ when it got picked up for distribution so that is for another conversation. Anyway we have a couple of officers who are stuck together to work a case where a serial killer is believed to be? The theory is the killer happens to be using “slave torture methods” to kill. The film has its sleaze, cannibalistic hillbillies, and a couple dead bodies but overall it is dull and a poor excuse to use the N-word. I am sure there is an audience out there for this film it just ain’t me as I give it 0 out of 4 stars.

Teen Lust (DVD) – Surprise another cool horror comedy from Canada that no one has talked about. Neil is your usual uncomfortable male teenager who has church to go too… The Church of Satan, yes Neil, his best friend, the parents all go to The Church of Satan that is led by the wonderful Cary Elwes as Sheldon. Instead of Neil accepting the hot girl’s invite to the high school party of the year he declines because he must keep his oath of being a virgin and go to church Saturday evening to be sacrificed. Once he is Satan will rise and stop the 1000 years of peace! Right as Neil is about to be sacrificed his best friend Matt grabs him and they escaped only to be chased down the rest of the night by Satanists. But there is hope as Neil goes and visits another great friend Denise who is a girl and actually likes Neil. But just like most teenagers there are glitches and one of them is Neil does it on Denise’s leg before the act gets started. Eventually the Satanists catch up and try to get him back to the altar before sunrise. A very hilarious film in the same vein as the recent ‘Satanic Panic’ as I give it 3 stars.

Skeletons in the Closet (Blu-ray) – I am always excited to watch another Tony Wash project and this was no different as this time it’s an anthology project. But this film is far from your typical anthology formula as it possibly can. Every Friday night a young kid named Jamie never misses her favorite show where a beautiful woman (Ellie Church) and her dead husband rent a horror movie to watch. Just like any horror hosts they do their commentary on it and Jamie watches as we get monster grandmas and kids, a woman dreaming of killing her husband, and thieves who try to find cover in a haunted junkyard. Now I won’t give too much away other than that because I thought Mr. Wash and company did a wonderful job of putting together an anthology unlike most I have seen before. We all know Ms. Church is wonderful but the person that steals the film is Alainia Karner as Jamie as she was perfect casting for the anthology as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

The Phantom (DVD) – The 1996 comic book adaption has the cool Billy Zane as The Phantom, a mystical comic book character that has been long forgotten but is a superhero that is passed down generation to generation to protect the jungle and people from injustice. The setting is 1939 and a criminal mastermind in Treat Williams is trying to gather the three skulls to rule the world and along the way we get the lovely Kristy Swanson for some eye candy. A fun adventure film in the spirit of ‘Indiana Jones’ that I would have loved to see a sequel or two with Billy Zane continuing the character. But instead this 3 ½ star superhero flick was never heard from again exception was that horrible TV mini-series that tried to update a cool character instead of building upon it.

 

Deadly Memories (DVD) – A 2002 Donald Farmer flick about a man losing his wife in a fiery car accident and his daughter falling into a coma because of three twenty-somethings running them off the road. Two years have passed and Art is trying to move on but cops have showed up asking questions again and Art believes he has seen the same young man that was driving that day in the bar. So when people begin to disappear of course the police suspect him because they know he has revenge on his mind. Always enjoy Donald Farmer flicks but this one runs a little longer than it should have but has William Smith, Robert Z’Dar, and Tina Krause for this indy feature I give 2 ½ stars too.

 

Journey to China: The Mystery of Iron Mask (On Demand) – It doesn’t matter what the movie is about listen to this cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jackie Chan, Charles Dance, and Rutger Hauer, I have your attention now correct. Anyway the film is now known as ‘Iron Mask’ but is all about dragons, wizards, and how Arnold allows prisoners fighting him for their freedom. The real plot of this fantasy film is there an imposter princess that has enslaved all her people and is looking for the mystical dragon seal. If found she would control the dragon that sleeps in the cave below them. This international film is full of adventure and effects but for me getting to see Arnold and Jackie fight each other on film was glorious and hilarious. The scene is a must watch for any action film enthusiast as I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Vivarium (On Demand) – A boring ass flick about couples who are house hunting but are left by the realtor at a “forever home”. A term the realtor/alien/parasite or whatever takes quite seriously. Once the couple is there they cannot leave. No matter how much they drive, walk, burn down the house or dig there is no escape. They are fed, clothed, but eventually they are given a child to raise. It starts out innocently but quickly understands it isn’t a typical human child. Now this is where the film started bothering me because I was waiting for the payoff… Where the dude just fucking loses it and puts the axe into the skull of the kid or kills the wife. Or goes all ‘Deadly Friend and makes the kid’s head explode? Nope, he just digs and the wife just tries to understand this thing and why? Fuck that, I would of killed one or both because you know yinz are trapped and no way getting out. Sorry keep your artsy wannabe thrillers to yourselves as yinz should have hit the reset button on this project as I give it 0 stars.

 

7 Guardians of the Tomb (DVD) – Kelsey Grammer sends a dude into a known funnel spider cave to find the ultimate cure in order to save his company Biotech.  The sister goes looking for him with a search party full of Biotech researchers with only Kelsey knowing these spiders are more venomous than anything on Earth. And of course it is all about profit margin as the team must fend off these spiders but the big mutant spider that seems to communicate with the rest throughout these endless tunnels some ancient dude made. It’s not any worse than the crap on SyFy Channel the past few years so I give it 1 ½ stars for that.

 

Abby (VHS/YouTube) – William Marshall is Dr. Williams and he heads to Nigeria for research and exploring. Dr. Williams finds an artifact and unleashes a demon force from it that travels to the states and takes over his very religious daughter-in-law. He returns to the states to deal with the possession when his son cannot control Abby any longer. She rampages through their home, the church, and then to the bar so she can kick dudes in the nards as tries to bang them! A fun 70s film from the guy that gave us ‘Day of the Animals’ and ‘Grizzly’ as I give it 3 stars.

 

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling, John Shatzer, and me talking about horror flicks on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

GROSSFEST IS COMING JULY 25TH AND 26TH, 2020… GO TO WWW.GROSSFEST.COM  FOR DETAILS!

 

Another Bloodbaths and Boomsticks episode up for your listening pleasures.

0
Posted on by

This week we return with 2 movies from the best year for horror of all time 1987 and what will probably be movie of the year for at least one of us.  First we have a weirdo bug/outbreak flick called BLUE MONKEY a.k.a. INSECT.  Then John covers an all-time classic horror jam in THE GATE, and Tim covers the most Tim Gross movie of the year in VFW.  We also cover this week’s watches, answer your questions and read all the news that was fit to print (or makeup).
So download this episode or you will throw up some white dog doo doo.

 

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Two new episodes of Bloodbaths and Boomsticks is up!

0
Posted on by

This week with TIM GROSS on vacation we return and we bring on GARY HILL of the Cinema Beef podcast on for bike week. First Joe Namath, Sid Haig, and Ann Margaret cause some trouble in C.C. and Company.  Then we visit a stone cold classic in STONE COLD starring The Boz.  Then we cover a rock and roll biker jam in STREETS OF FIRE.  We also answer your questions and go over all the movies we have been watching the last week.  So download this episode or Bo Jackson will run all over that ass.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

This time around we dust off 3 flicks to cover.  The first being completely unknown weirdo time travel/monster jam in TIMESWEEP.  Then we have a British werewolf offering in THE SNARLING.  And finally we have a great 2000’s gem in THE CONVENT. We also talk about the tag team of coolio and bill Moseley, Late 70’s sitcoms, The Escape from New York remake.  And a ton lots more.  So download this episode or you won’t be invited to the gangsta’s paradise.

http://bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/