This website is dedicated to horror movies (independent and mainstream), beer, Full Moon, Spookies, Graveyard Shift, Leprechaun sequels, massacre films and watching every god damn horror film ever made or die trying!
On this episode of the podcast we cover 3 more flicks to maybe or maybe not to add to your DVD shelves. First Tim brings a weird space flick called COSMOS: WAR OF THE PLANETS. Then we have a Corey Haim and an intelligent dog fighting a hairy monster in WATCHERS. And finally we have a great chop socki flick brought to us by the great Steven Chow in KUNG FU HUSTLE, and as always we talk football, go over the news of the week, and answer your listener question. So download this episode or our landlord will smack us upside our head.
The Lost Continent (DVD) – This feature was a Hammer presentation from 1968 directed by Michael Carreras, and it was based on the novel by Michael Wheatley. For me this was one of those deep dives of searching out something I seen part of as a kid on the old Chiller Theater and never revisited. It was time to enjoy Captain Lansen and his hidden agenda as he has a skeleton crew on a freighter is also carrying a few passengers. See Captain Lansen has taken an unsavory job that includes shipping illegal cargo to South America and a few passengers who would like to stay under the radar are on the vessel also. This illegal cargo is explosives that cannot get wet so when a hurricane warning is issued even the passengers get involved to keep the cargo from getting wet even during a mutiny by Lansen’s crew. But never mind that as we get a very cool scene of a crew member getting hung by a pulley and pulled upward to the root, fun stuff kids. Once the Captain and passengers finally abandon ship this is where the movie gets real interesting as not only are they lost at sea but run amok of killer seaweed that thirsts for human blood. If that isn’t enough Lansen and what’s left of the of the crew after finding a supposedly safe place must fight an old school Spanish army, being raided by them also, scorpion creatures, giant crabs, and more killer seaweed! The film is a bit cheesy but there is so much to digest here with the fun creatures, this Spanish army, and even the buildup of why Lansen was carrying explosives. If you go searching this was supposedly a huge budgeted film that had its share of issues but it is still a worthy fun watch of something you may have never given a second chance too as I give this 3 stars.
The Indestructible Man (DVD) – A fun 1956 thriller that stars Lon Chaney Jr. that feels kind of like a horror movie or even a drive-in flick but plays out more like a film noir. Our boy Chaney Jr. plays a convict nicknamed “The Butcher” is about to get the last rites for his crimes when it is learned he has stashed a crapload of stolen money. But “The Butcher” is taking it to the grave until his body becomes a part of an experiment and he is revived. Now he seeks revenge and is almost completely indestructible as he can be shot, beaten, etc., and still keep ongoing like the Energizer bunny. The experiment was to cure cancer instead it brings back ‘The Indestructible Man’! A very different film you won’t expect much from but find yourself quite enjoying the watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Cemetery High (DVD) – This horror spoof that may or may not be best known being connected to Full Moon for the mere reason Charles Band was uncredited as an executive producer and the director just disowning the film shortly after its release. This spoof uses a gimmick at the beginning (don’t want to give it away) to set up violence and nudity throughout the film but the film centers on a group of young women who have had enough. The story begins the senior year of high school for these women when some sex crazed jocks only want to use the women for their term papers, beat them up, or the jocks are just feeling a little rapey. So the young women seek out these boys and put an end to their pathetic lives. But it doesn’t end there as they another to their group and become known as the “Scumbusters” when the local news picks up the story of them baffling local authorities with their murder spree. The young women will use whatever it takes to get their point across and kill another male: by car, by knives, guns, axes, whatever weapon that is going to get the job done. I feel the film starts off fun but just runs out of steam halfway through and becomes a chore to get to the finish as I give it 2 stars.
Black Friday (On Demand) – First off, I laughed out when this film was announced because the title is the most overused term in our lexicon and second, and felt “Black Friday” hasn’t been relevant for several years now cause ‘online shopping’ anyone? Anyhow, setting aside my beliefs of this so-called holiday, shopping day, whatever we find ourselves watching a film about abused retail workers at ‘We Love (heart) Toys’ toy store. It is Thanksgiving night and the staff must get things set up for the madness of the “Black Friday” shoppers and horror icon Bruce Campbell plays the manager of the store. But to the dismay of shoppers and staff meteors carrying alien thing are fallen to Earth and these monstrous things from the rocks are turning humans into monsters that will stop at nothing to find other unaffected humans to add to their end creation. Lots of flying goo, monsters, and a great cast made me forget that “Black Friday” isn’t really a thing anymore and just enjoy a wonderful horror flick as I give it 3 ½ stars.
Entombed (Vimeo) – A modest budgeted post-apocalyptic flick from Norway focuses in on three individuals who are trying to survive in an underground bunker. A man named Seamus just trying to survive the night of zombies finds the entrance to the underground shelter by accident and sees it as a miracle. Then Seamus meets Konrad at gunpoint that isn’t too keen on visitors and wants to know how Seamus found him and the shelter. After Seamus gains Konrad’s trust, Konrad introduces his comatose wife and Konrad does not want to leave unless he has too? But of course not everything is what it seems as Seamus doesn’t exactly trust Konrad in this underground shelter. A creepy thriller that proves all you need is location, location, and a great script that doesn’t concentrate on the zombie aspect to give you a film that shows humanity is at its worst when the chips are down as I give this tension filled flick 3 out of 4 stars and soon to be on streaming services so start looking for it kids.
Duck! The Carbine High Massacre (DVD) – I put this flick off for years just for the mere fact it is inspired by the Columbine High School event of the late 90s. But it was time to watch it because it does have ‘massacre’ in the title. Pretty much this S.O.V. film follows two teenagers who were picked on, misunderstood for their beliefs, etc. by their peers at high school. So the two students plan their destruction of the stereotypes that have bothered them for years at school. Plain and simple it’s a low budget school shooting movie that may had message, may not? But bottom line this film is very boring and shouldn’t have lasted past the 30 minute mark. You get the point very quickly and you already know what is gonna happen in the film unless you have been living under a rock the past 25 years. Take or leave it, it happens so much over the past decade in real life and the news broadcasts being what they are the film can be pretty forgettable but I finally watched it and can only give it 1 star.
Cyst (DVD) – It is 1961 and Dr. Guy is a pimple popper dude who has an invented a machine called the “Get Gone” machine that will be the revolution of removing cysts, safely and less painful. Problem is it malfunctioned last time the patent people came through and this time it better work or they will just have Dr. Guy shut down. Meanwhile, Dr. Guy’s nurse Patty’s last day as she refuses to work with this so-called machine. So after some tinkering by Dr. Guy and a willing patient (sort of) he has a huge cyst to remove from the patient. When Dr. Guy does he unknowingly causes a mutant cyst to take a life of its own and now the people in the office are trapped with this killer mutant cyst! Think of ‘Attack of the Killer Donuts’ but with a cyst as I give this glorious B-movieish creature feature 3 ½ stars.
Jessicka Rabid (DVD) – Another film that I have finally tracked down that was on list is an independent film starring the likes of Trent Haaga, Elske McCain, directed by Matthew Reel and got picked up several years ago by Troma. Brad and Marley are two highly demented men who have mistreated for years a mentally challenged female named Jessicka. They have done this for such a long period of time that even the sister of the one man and the neighbor totally accept her being treated like a dog, literally! If that wasn’t enough torture for this pour girl she finds herself being sold to perform and have filmed with men porn scenes. But shortly after one of amateurish porn shoots she is bitten by a dog that may have been infected with rabies? Again another film that wastes too much time thinking they are the next great filmmaker instead of just trying to give the audience a film that is worth watching… Example: she is bitten like 15 minutes in and doesn’t go ape shit until the last seven minutes of this 82 minute film? Which also raises the question Did Jessicka actually have rabies or just loses her fucking mind after all the years of the abuse? This could be why this film didn’t have much shelf life as I give it 1 star.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
The Deep House (On Demand) – A new French haunted house flick that immediately changes the rules when the haunted home is underwater. Anyway a young couple whose biggest thing is getting the clicks as they want sell their footage of haunted places to a network or be paid to have it stream as they have made it a habit to visit haunted places around the world. They hear about this underwater house in a village and seek it out only to find out it has become a popular tourist attraction. The couple meets a man who agrees to take them to a part of the lake that no one visits but there are odd stories about the family never left before they flooded the area for the dam in the 80s. The young couple dives down to check it out only to creep each other out for the footage. But as they swim deeper into the water logged home weird sounds can be heard and they follow them only to find a couple who is chained above a pentagram in a room. Of course they freak out when the creep factor is turned up past ten when the corpses’ eyes open! This haunted didn’t exactly hit the sweet spot for me but I can definitely express that the new horror fans will enjoy this scare show as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Creature From the Haunted Sea (DVD) – A fun early Roger Corman drive-in film from 1961 where a gangster is asked to smuggle loot of Cuba. Once in his possession, on a boat, and out at a sea, the crew comes up with a hoax of a sea monster to steal the loot. Problem the monster is real and begins killing the people aboard. A cheesy black and white monster romp worth seeking out to have for the home drive-ins as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Hobgoblins 2 (DVD) – Yes, the first was so bad I couldn’t stay away from the sequel which was released twenty years later in 2009. This time it begins in an insane asylum where a group of students learn about the Hobgoblins. After the mad doctor who is trying to teach the class says the name Hobgoblins three times the creatures are back to life and causing havoc. Once again the students must face their fears in order to conquer these lame creatures. The first film was bad this sequel is somehow ten times worse as I cannot recommend this as I have to give it 0 stars.
Treasure of the Amazon (DVD) – A true story based on treasure hunters in 1958 South America which apparently included the great Donald Pleasence playing an-ex-Nazi soldier who wants the treasure to restart the “Third Reich”. Anyway, three groups of people enter the jungle against all odds to find a treasure of a lifetime. The treasure is gold and diamonds but even if found the groups have to contend with the cannibal tribe that lives within the jungle. If that isn’t enough there are killer crabs as they destroy an individual. It was some pretty cool effects. The film has a few dull points but still does a solid job of giving a thrilling adventure as I give it 2 stars.
New York Ninja (DVD) – A legit ninja film from 1984 and filmmaker John Liu but it was never finished until now. The original negative was found recently, restored, voiceover work done, and some editing (which included rewriting an ending) and poof in all its glory the film has been finally released for all the ninja fans to enjoy. Of course 1984 New York is being overrun by criminal activity and John’s wife is killed while she tried to stop abduction. John learning of this tragic news takes it upon himself that New York needs a hero, a ninja hero who threatens to clean up the city of crime. His revenge is to track down criminals and try to find the big man himself “Plutonium Killer” and put an end to his carnage. This flick is outlandish fun that loses some steam getting to the finish line as I give it 2 ½ stars.
American Rickshaw (DVD) – Nothing like an Eye-talian flick set in Miami where a young dude named Scott runs an American Rickshaw as a job to put himself through college when he isn’t helping old Asian women in the rain. One night Scott gets coaxed by a beautiful lady after a ride to join her for some bumping uglies… But quickly Scott finds out he is part of amateur porn and beats the guy up with the camera. Problem is Scott grabs the wrong tape when he leaves upset and goes back to get the real tape of him on it to destroy it. Bigger problem happens because there is a hitman that was looking for a key the porn director carried and lost during the fight with Scott. Boat is on fire, cops get involved, more people die, Scott is being blamed while the hitman is trying to retrieve the key. Oh by the way the old lady Doctor Strange is in a lifelong battle with TV preacher Donald Pleasence because he is the devil who fights a snake and a cat in a 60 second segment of the movie. Yes, the movie is a complete mess but I dare you to stop watching this confusing yet entertaining action/thriller as I give it 2 ½ stars for the mess it is.
George A. Romero Presents Deadtime Stories Volume Two (DVD) – Again enjoyed the stories being read by George Romero and his little quips but the stories I felt lacked passion this time around. The first segment is about three young adventures that go into a cave and do not come back the same when they need rescued. The second segment is about a professor at Sabbath Hill University who sleeps with one of his unstable students who commits suicide in his class because all in the class are not allowed to miss class and it comes back to haunt him. The third segment is about dust from the surface of Mars that is to be studied but believed by a doctor it could be a cure for cancer. So a distraught security guard steals it to cure his cancer-riddled wife only to find it has some cannibalistic effects. Maybe the stories were just dated but this sequel to the first anthology felt uninspiring as I give it 1 star.
Schizoid (DVD) – You know you are in for a crazy time when the first person listed in the credits of the film is Klaus Kinski. This creepy thriller has Kinski as a doctor who holds a therapy group session on Tuesday and Thursdays. He believes it actually works for all involved but a black gloved stalker about to be killer is tired of them all and wants them dead one by one. Letters are being sent to Julie as she has an advice column and part of the group but has a tough time getting the police to believe the letters should be taken seriously. This ‘who dun it’ flick isn’t trying to reinvent the genre but anytime you involve 1980 crazy ass Klaus Kinski you are gonna have a fun time watching that film as I give it 3 stars.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Hey people November 12th came and gone… Why is that date so important to me? Well one year ago I was sitting in an ER where I believe my lord Rutger Hauer allowed me to see Anthrax in concert in the afterlife. All jokes aside after all the tests, the scares of a pacemaker, etc., found out I literally burned out the human body. (Yes, it is possible I did it.) The point is to this post that just the mere reason a lot of people helped last year with a GoFundMe page that was put together by my neighbor Nathan William and my brother Tom Gross. Again I can never say enough how much that meant to me to all the people who went in on it and know everyone who did. To this day there is still a list of people I never got to see or know who contributed. TO ALL OF YOU I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YINZ! To celebrate this today I head to a couple locations to film yet another part of “Pink Eye: The Horror Story” segment for Dan and I’s upcoming film that we are shooting for Fall of 2022, “Tales From the Gross Side”. Not a day passes I do not think about how quickly and how much people came together to help and again “TO ALL OF YOU I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YINZ!
P.S. I plan on living to the ripe old age of 197 where I am in a wheelchair and have Yuengling forced into me by I.V.
Kill Them Right! (DVD) – A RAK Films fan favorite from 2012 that stars Janet Jay, Kendra Star, Dakota Skye, and from the mind of Robert Kotabish of course. This film’s main goal is to be a 80s no budget B-action film with lots of big breasted women running around while some scientists talk about the 38D formula the government is trying to protect. Of course the government has more leaks than a fake breast from the 80s so the evil entity they are trying to keep it from finds it in their possession quickly. Nazis, bad accents, big breasts, and a piss poor government with one computer are the highlights of this hilarious B-action flick as I give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars.
Hell’s Kitty (DVD) – At first glance I took this not so big budgeted horror film for “hey we hired the convention all-stars to get 30 second cameo”… But to my surprise this was a well-crafted horror film about a man Nick and his cat. Now I will say the film had my attention immediately when they casted one of my favorite porn stars Nina Hartley but it did not stop there as all the named cast actually played an essential roles which happens very rarely these days. Anyway Nick gets a cat named Angel and quickly some weird and strange things begin to happen like Satanic shit! According to a therapist the cat Angel, is stopping Nick from having a serious sexual relationship but Nick is not seeing that as he cares for Angel even Angel is slaughtering people around him. The film is wrapped up in a nice tight bow as its Nick telling a publisher the story of his possessed kitty. From Drew Marvick, to one of the Killer Klowns showing up, to Isaac and Malachai from ‘Children of the Corn’ (who made me laugh so hard I almost pissed myself), everything is wonderful, bloody, and hilarious as I give this flick 3 ½ stars.
Snowbeast (DVD) – This late 70s flick has Bo Svenson as an ex-Olympic ski star from the 1968 Olympics showing up at a popular mountain resort for its 50th annual Winter Festival and looking for a job. Well Bo is in luck as the ski patrol has spotted a beast in the mountains that is picking off skiers for appetizers and threatens to ruin the Winter Festival. Nothing real special about the film but if you are Bigfoot movie person you better make room on the shelf for this because it least keeps up the kill count for the creature as I give the film 2 stars.
Dante’s Shadow of Sin (YouTube/DVD) – Dakota Ray is back again with another film that explores the dark side of humanity and should give the August Underground crowd something happy to get their greasy fingers on. The film centers on Dante and his good friend Mahogany. It has been two years since they were together and it has been about that same amount of time since Dante had tasted murder. But a package from Mahogany shows up at Dante’s home it starts a downward decent into a super dark world of drugs, alcohol, and hallucinations. As the two reconnect Dante always knew his friendship with Mahogany was gonna end horribly but Dante wants to make sure he also survives it. Bizarre images and graphic scenes of violence almost makes this film seem like an art in motion than a film but sticks to its guns of being something August Underground fans will cherish as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Cynthia (DVD) – Scout Taylor-Compton is part of a young couple who have been trying to have a baby for three years and no success. Now they are measuring the time of day and spending thousands on unapproved Asian drugs to get pregnant. Both are just about done as Robin as dreamed about having a baby since she was a little girl, it’s her dream she explains. One day she gets her wish and things go smoothly until a very large cyst is found during birth. Doctor has no problem removing it and it is sent downstairs for study but the baby is perfectly fine. Robin and Michael quickly separate after the birth as they disagree on everything but surprise the cyst was a deformed twin that is looking for its mother. It doesn’t compare to the fun ‘It’s Alive’ film trilogy we got but for a new generation this is a keeper and a reminder of what you are getting in for when forcing yourself to have a child and for that I give it 2 ½ stars.
Bad Candy (DVD) – This horror film has a unique way of telling its anthology stories through radio hosts “Chilly Billy” and “Paul” at 66.6FM on Halloween night. As the duo tell their gruesome stories strange things happen at the station as they try their best to keep the show going with telling stories to their callers. I know other horror fans will find this entry into anthology genre as a treat but in the end this film just didn’t satisfy me and sadly I give it 1 ½ stars.
Halloween Kills (Peacock) – The sequel to the 2018 film that surprise us all was exactly I thought it would be a continuation of trying to connect dots to the original. We all knew Michael was surviving but this time a grown up Tommy Doyle shows up to take charge of Haddonfield to send them to the streets looking for the killer as he escapes the fire. With Laurie Strode and family at the hospital everyone believes he is making tracks quickly to kill Laurie. But as Laurie and her old sheriff friend discuss you cannot kill evil and Michael has another plan and that is to go home like he does time after time. For me the film was good but not great. I enjoyed it for being another solid sequel which most of us fans always wanted in the first place but I also believe the next entry will be it for about five years but that doesn’t mean the franchise will rest. Yeah I can see how some believe the kills were more brutal and such but in the end this film was always about trying to connect all the ‘Halloween’ fans of all ages. I believe with the film being edited down ten minutes or so it would have come closer to the feeling of the 2018 version. And as I hinted at, after ‘Halloween Ends’ I believe the so-called fans of ‘Halloween 3: Season of the Witch’ will get their wish as there will be a sequel… Finally! But that is a whole other debate for another review as I give the sequel 3 stars and kids on the internet your beef with this sequel will never compare to the debacle called ‘Halloween: Resurrection’.
In the Earth (DVD) – In the Earth is where this wannabe artsy bullshit most likely belongs instead of littering the DVD and streaming market! Two researchers head into the woods to look for Dr. Wendle instead they are subjected to her crazy ex-husband who played with a mysterious rock too long in the middle of the woods. Meanwhile the good doctor just wants to live alone so she can solve the mystery of the rock. Yep that’s the whole fucking movie! So if you love ‘Hereditary’ this is all you but if you are me you give it 0 stars and most likely never even giving it a rewatch.
Hobgoblins (DVD) – I was thinking at first it just been many moons ago I had seen this 1988 film about little creatures. Was it a “Gremlins rip-off, Ghoulies rip-off, Munchies rip-off”? Nope none of these… as this was my first time watching and I was very disappointed in this mess of a film. Kevin becomes a security guard for an old movie warehouse where he is told never go into the old film vault. One night some random hoodlum runs into the vault after being chased thus releasing four creatures called the “Hobgoblins”. Apparently these little monsters were trapped in there for the past 30 years by the now old security guard because they cause chaos! Supposedly these creatures get humans to fantasize about what they really want then kill them while it’s happening. Literally not a whole happens throughout the film exception of Kevin eventually getting the creatures back in the vault in a very anti-climactic ending. I had hope for some undiscovered 80s creature fun instead I was given something super lame that almost had me asleep as I give it 1 star.
The Other (DVD) – An early 70s film that depicts family farm life in the 30s. Very dramatic of course, everyone knows everyone and we are introduced to identical twins Niles and Holland Perry. These kids are your typical kids who love summer and playing out on the family farm. Everything seems to be the perfect until we get a hint from mom who doesn’t like to come outside much and be with the world especially when talking to Niles. But this slow burn has us believing for much of the film Niles is innocent boy doing his summer thing while Holland seems to be doing some sinister shit. As the summer goes on the accidents progress and people are starting to die and get severely injured until we the viewer’s learn the real truth about ¾’s the way through and that is when this dramatic film takes a really fucked up demonic turn! I loved it as the film was starting to bore me but then this classic decided to punch me in the balls like another horror classic with killer kids ‘Bloody Birthday’ and for that I am thankful as I give this creepy film 3 stars.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
This week it’s only Kyle and Tim on the show as John is on a sunny vacation. But never the less we still bring you an episode of Tow-Truck Sploitation that we put together quite accidentally. First we have a post-apocalyptic tow truck vs. cars smash em’ up flick starring Flash Gordon, Daisy Duke, and Don Swayze in DRIVING FORCE. Then we’ve mined a little know (as never heard of at least by us) piece of Australian sprint car madness starring the one and only Gyro Captain himself Bruce Spence in MIDNITE SPARES. And finally we have a true comedy classic and a favorite of Mom Gross herself in USED CARS starring legendary actors Kurt Russell and Garrett Graham. We also read the news, and answer your listener mail. So download this episode or Australia will continue to burn…. and no one wants that.
The Leopard Man (DVD) – This 1943 classic has a nightclub manager convince a model he is sweet on to walk during a dance routine with a leopard on a leash like it’s an everyday thing. Well the cat gets rattled by the dancer on purpose and escapes into the woods. Shortly after a young woman is found killed by this cat supposedly? This of course sets the town to fear the worst and lock themselves in until the cat is caught by authorities but club owner Manning believes it is something else not the cat? A fun black and white thriller worth the watch as I give it 3 stars.
Zombie Nightmare (DVD) – Adam West, Jon Mikl Thor, and Tia Carrere star in this 1987 feature that feels a few years older but has a young man play hero in a convenience store then be run down by a group of drunken young people. Mom not ready to let go of her son asks a favor of a friend down the road to use her voodoo to bring her son back to life. Doing so he returns to life or life of the undead to seek revenge on those who wronged him. If you like your horror features cheesy this is super cheesy as I give it 2 stars.
The Body Snatcher (DVD) – This wonderful 1945 feature has the likes of Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi in a film that might be my new favorite of Karloff’s for mere reason his character and performance. The film is set 1831 Edinburgh where a doctor’s assistant learns from his teacher that fresh corpses are brought to them from the local graveyard by a mysterious cabbie who knows the doctor all too well. Mr. Fettes tries to ignore the weirdness between the good doctor and the cabbie Gray but involves himself when he takes an interest in a little girl that cannot walk but the good doctor is willing to try if there is a fresh corpse to study before surgery? Not a monster film unless you consider humans the monster as it shows how sinister humans can be for their own goals! Loved Boris Karloff’s performance as I put this with Vincent Price’s in ‘The House on Haunted Hill’ if you pay attention to that sort of thing as I give the film 4 stars.
Crypt of the Living Dead (DVD) – After an archeologist’s strange death, his son Chris comes to a small island that has a lot of superstitions of where his father was digging. Chris comes to bury him and decides it should be where this dig was but a tomb needs moved. When this is done Hannah the Queen of the Vampires is unleashed and night after night she gains strength willing each death of the superstitious villagers. Chris not exactly believing in the legend but knows something is weird wants to bury the tomb before any more deaths occur. A slow burn 1973 vampire flick that is worth a watch if you never heard of it as I give it 2 stars.
I Walked With a Zombie (DVD) – This 1943 thriller has a nurse sent from the states to a small island to take care of a man’s wife who is considered ‘mental’ for her coma-like state she has fallen into. It is believed by the doctor there that Mrs. Holland suffered a side effect of a high fever that has caused her to blankly stare like a zombie and not do much? The nurse falling in love with the husband but feels not all is being done to help the patient looks into the jungle for answers as the natives may know how to help the young lady in the coma-like trance as I give the film 2 stars.
Beyond the Valley of Belief Volume One and Two (Blu-ray) – Independent actor/writer/filmmaker Brian Papandrea, has issued a Blu-ray collection that has both titles of ‘Beyond the Valley of Belief’ that gives you around 2 ½ hours of Jonathan Fritz goodness! Jonathan Fritz is a TV host/former alcoholic who plans to take you through a few tales of Halloween darkness. When it is over you the viewer must decide if it was real or fake? Fritz starts off serious and the program comes off like Leonard Nimoy’s ‘In Search Of’ or even the 80s version of ‘Unsolved Mysteries’ (yes, I am old and remember these), but that all goes to hell when Fritz begins drinking during the broadcast. In these little stories you get stuff like a haunted cowboy which I really liked and a hilarious story called “Ghost Farts”. Brian does a wonderful job bringing to life the crude commercials, Fritz’s intros to the stories, and the script is brilliant from beginning to end for what he was trying to accomplish with this project. But the cherry on top is volume two where Brian continues everything including the Fritz character whose storyline has him on the run now and he wants to do a Christmas edition of the program! This event not only shows his downhill slide into depravity but Fritz is completely off the rails as he presents some Christmas horror tales on the run. Papandrea refuses to allow no budget to slow him down bringing back all the commercials and storylines of the first film into the second and it looked like lots of fun along the way! I always enjoy when an Indy filmmaker can give audiences something different, entertaining, and be passionate about it as this will not disappoint, for that Mr. Papandrea I have to give this double feature 3 ½ out of 4 stars as it can be found at https://rockbottomvideo.storenvy.com .
Chompy and the Girls (DVD) – If there wasn’t enough oddball weird horror films for 2021 there is this feature about a young woman trying to commit suicide but fails. Jackson is depressed and even she tries to reach out she fails at that too until she randomly texts a man who she just found out was her father six months ago. They agree to meet in a park for the first time and talk until they witness a man walk up to a girl and swallow her whole with his gigantic mouth! From there Jackson and father Sam are on the run as this thing on foot seems to track them down no matter where they go? It gets even weirder as they feel trap by this interdimension being they communicate with it and find out it isn’t the horrible parasite they thought it was but a being trying to save the world until Sam’s wife kills it. Now it is up too Jackson, Sam and Jackson’s friend who took a roofie to figure out what needs to be done. Movie is weird as balls and I loved it as I give it 3 stars.
George A. Romero Presents Deadtime Stories Volume One (DVD) – An anthology of films that are introduced to audiences by the zombie master himself George Romero who seems to have fun with each intro. First entry is about jungle cannibals, second is about a lonely finding something on a beach that was supposed to stay buried, and third is directed by Tom Savini that has a doctor making a house call for a teenage boy who seems to be dying? Fun little stories for horror fans that is shaped like your favorite old uncle is telling them to put you to sleep as I give this collection 2 stars.
Slumber Party Massacre (Remake/SyFy Channel) – The story begins in 1993 at a cabin where driller killer Russ Thorn attacks a group of young women just having a nice weekend. One woman survives the tragic ordeal and 28 years later has a daughter (Dana) who is about to partake in a weekend with the girls at a cabin near this event. Along the way we get a few images, music, lines of dialogue to pay homage to the original. But in this role reversal remake of young people being into crime podcasts and murder tours we find out the girls are there to see if Russ Thorn still exists? They have plans to put this legend to rest! Dana wants to do it for her mom and if that means putting the males across the lake in danger so be it. Now the role reversal thing is more the males are the victims and show nudity unlike the women in the original. But spoiler alert women fucked Thorn up in the original also so I wasn’t totally sure why this was part of the storyline other than to be filler? The only expectation I had going into this film was “don’t suck out loud”. It wasn’t terrible but I feel it will be forgettable for most young horror fans just because the original is lost on most as many may have never heard of it unlike: ‘Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm St., Hellraiser’, the usual suspects. They should have just made it “Slumber Party Massacre V” just to see what horror fan is actually paying attention to this besides me? Either way you knew I was watching it because it is a “massacre” film as I give it 2 stars.
V/H/S/94 (Shudder) – With the last entry leaving horror fans disappointed it seemed filmmakers went out of their way to give something extra to fans and it paid off. We begin with a SWAT team entering a warehouse where they were expecting to bust a huge drug ring but instead find TVs in different rooms and victims/dead bodies with their eyes ripped out in front of them. It almost looks like a cult-like suicide pact among the dead humans there. As the SWAT team goes floor to floor investigating they stop long enough for the viewer/us to watch a segment. We get a rat man segment, zombie segment, experimenting on humans segment which is just brutal fun, a militia segment where members are dying mysteriously, and the SWAT team is the wrap around as the viewer follows them through this maze of the bizarre. This film is so gory that it is almost cartoonish at times… The only bad thing about this wonderful horror flick is the wrap around, which is very unusual for any anthology film. The ending they give the wrap around just sucks and takes a little away from such a solid entry that more than made up for ‘V/H/S: Viral’. In the end I still enjoyed this near perfect anthology as I give it 3 ½ stars.
Inheritance (YouTube/DVD) – A newer film from a newer filmmaker Eric Palmer who has the task of telling a story about a woman inheriting a cabin. Scarlett just learns about her father dying and she has inherited this cabin and is already leaning towards selling it and being done with it. But after a couple girlfriends come over talking vacation they convince Scarlett with friends they should check it out? One problem, when they arrive at the cabin good old Uncle Drake is too pleasant on the young lady talking about selling the place and explains it has been in the family for a very long time. Scarlett very late into the film finds out Uncle Drake likes to conjure demons and needs young Scarlett for a sacrifice! A lot of times I am all for character development in an Indy film but this somehow had a little too much as they put on the back burner Uncle Drake runs a satanic cult that can conjure a demon? Just my opinion but felt the whole Uncle Drake arc should have been the main focus not Scarlett’s friends getting to know each other even more around the fire. I feel there was more of a story to tell about Uncle Drake to make this film a little different but again Eric was able to give the audience characters you actually feel something for as I give the flick 2 out of 4 stars.
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This week we return and bring with us 3 movies of varying quality. First Kyle randomly picks a movie that looks quasi interesting off of the magic firestick that has great guy Michael Berryman in MAD HATTER from 2020. Tim talks about the newest Netflix jam starring action elite Jean Claude Van Damme in THE LAST MERCENARY, and finally watch in awe as Dean Martin introduces us to swinging spy Matt Helm in THE WRECKING CREW. We also read the news, answer your listener questions, and we spin the wheel of time. Also we chat about such stupid topics of how we can use math to figure out how many toilets Tim can ruin if he lives to be 75. Bigfoot breeding habits. And we ask Tim’s wife who is on the up and up in all the ghost hunting shows. So download this episode or Zac Baggins will haunt you so hard you will go blind!
Bloodmatch (DVD) – Found another fun Albert Pyun film that stars Thom Matthews as Brick Bardo, a kickboxer hell bent on seeking revenge for his brother who got screwed over five years ago. Wait a minute… Brick Bardo? I thought that was Tim Thomerson’s name in ‘Dollman’ that was released in 1991 the same year as this flick…? Holy shit mind blown this could have been a wonderful delight of a film if a 12 inch cop was kickboxing his way through a futuristic world! Anyway Thom’s Brick character tracks down four people who screwed over his brother in order to have a fight with each to the death. To make things even more interesting during these death matches Brick’s hot girlfriend can also fight and helps the process along, give the film 2 stars, mind blown that Dollman could have been in here in some weird parallel universe I give that 4 stars all the way.
Wired to Kill (DVD) – A little known post-apocalyptic film from the mid-80s that did little at the box office that is set in the year 1998. Quarantine zones still exist six years after the plague purged humanity but humans survived with a cure (sounds familiar, like now) but there is some factions of humans that do not want to go back to what’s considered normal. So we get introduced to Rebecca and Steve, a young couple who are just enjoying their lives together and it’s ruined by some marauding dirt bags. These dirt bags are all about destroying the new way of life after the cure and have crippled Steve and threaten his family. Steve and Rebecca because of this attack declare war and slowly plot out shit like MacGyver to fuck with this dirt bag gang. As they move through the gang their plans get bigger and bigger like a low budget A-Team that makes this feature well worth tracking down to enjoy as I give it 3 stars. If that isn’t enough how about this flick was called ‘Booby Trap’ outside of the U.S.
Burial Ground Massacre (DVD) – This ungodly piece of trash and I am being nice as I sat through all 100 minute running time. After the viewer is introduce to a killer voiced by Michael Madsen who is seeking revenge for Native Americans you are introduced to a small gathering of young people at Liberty Manor. It is a museum of sorts taken care of by Chase’s family who don’t really care if the land was built on a Native American burial ground and there might be ghosts haunting the woods surrounding it. Chase is convinced it would be cool to have the party there so the guests could go mishandle the artifacts and talk about the Indian legend. This of course sets up each one dying because of the burial ground thing but the real issue is the movie would like you to believe this is being done by Michael Madsen an aging actor that has lived life hard? Pay attention at the end of the movie as the killer has no sleeves then he does and looks like he put on a hundred pounds just so Michael Madsen could say a few lines in person on camera. Besides the whole weird Michael Madsen thing the film comes off very cobbled together as the characters have no chemistry and how the legend is set up seems lazy at best as I give it 0 stars.
Prisoners of the Ghostland (On Demand) – This crazy ass film should come to you as no surprise as Nic Cage stars as a convict who is given a task ‘Escape from New York’ style by the governor (Bill Moseley). Cage is to go into some weird underworld to rescue the governor’s daughter Bernice, escape this odd place, as he only has a few days to do it or his head will explode. Best way to explain is if you like Asian cinema and Nic Cage this will be for you… But if this isn’t in your wheelhouse there will be a good chance you will hate this. Either way it was all a little confusing but entertaining to me as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Beyond Dark Dreams (DVD) – So apparently independent filmmaker Joseph Russio lost this film about six years ago and only recently finished it when he found all the footage for it again. He may have lost it because this film will fuck with your mind! Russio wrote and directed this feature about a writer putting himself in an old dark house so he can get past his writer’s block… maybe? After a investigating a couple odd noises in the house that makes the writer more fascinated with the house than his writing he comes back to a needle full of green stuff? So of course the writer introduces this unknown drug into his system in hopes of inspiration or the next life. We as does the writer from here witnesses acts of cruelty, the macabre, and the truly bizarre. When it ends I believe the movie allows you to decide if it was all a dream, it really did happen to the writer, or Joseph just giving us a mindfuck of a film that really has no ending that lets you be the judge? I was super confused as it ended but was happy I got to watch this quite odd independent film that had wonderful music, production, and a story I can see people talking about even a few years from viewing it as I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.
Slashlorette Party (DVD) – Brie is a young woman who is having lots of marriage anxieties with her soon-to-be husband Dolph. After her latest session with her therapist Brie is convinced it is time to break up with Dolph before it is too late and she is miserable. But surprise, Brie is caught off guard by her girlfriends who show up as she is writing the letter to Dolph and they are there to take Brie for a weekend of partying. Because you know the Bachelor/Bachelorette together party is all the rage among the kids these days or I should say bad idea. Either way Brie is dreading the whole event for the mere reason she is stuck with Dolph and wants it to end. But anytime you put together pretty girls, talk of sex, lots of drinking in a random cabin it won’t take long for people to die. But what makes this storytelling a little different is Brie has a past and there is a couple other subplots that drive this feature and keeps it interesting with the likes of Drew Marvick and Ginger Lynn. It all intersects for one big bloody ending as every slasher film fan will want their bloody hands on this flick as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Werewolves Within (DVD) – Beaverfield is a small mountain town that needed a new forest ranger who went missing recently and Finn Wheeler is the man for the job. Finn is transferred and is getting the lay of the land by the cute postal woman who takes him around town. Finn believing his first day after the transfer was a breeze wakes up to the small community upset by a missing dog and talk of a monster or werewolf eventually. Finn thinking it’s all a misunderstanding has just stepped into a ’30 Days of Night’ style situation but with werewolves. They all believe safety is in numbers but that does not stop the werewolf from feasting on the community all held up in the Mansion Inn. Ranger Finn now must figure out who the werewolf inside the mansion is or he will be the next meal in this murder/mystery comedy with a good amount of gore. Great characters, great build up, and potential to be watched by viewers multiple times as one of their recent favorites as I give this flick 3 ½ stars.
Curse of the Crimson Altar (DVD) – A late 60s British horror film that is considered to be Boris Karloff’s last film appearance that has a man named Bob seeking out a well off gentleman named Morley who may have seen him last? Peter, Bob’s business partner and brother has been missing for some time and as Bob investigates he may have stumbled into witchcraft as Morley wants to be a warlock. Christopher Lee and Barbara Steele round out the cast so this horror film will always intrigue horror fans to give it at least one watch as I give it 2 stars.
Video Nasty Productions: The Early Years (DVD) – Filmmaker Dan Komarek has recently decided it was time for him to go back to his passion of making films but before he does that he wanted to give fans a treat of sorts. This is a collection of short films that Dan and his brother mostly shot on mini-DV in 2008 and 2009 before his other feature ‘Demons of the Night’. The super-packed DVD has trailers of Dan’s work but also has a new trailer for a project called ‘Drain Snake Massacre’ that he is a producer on coming from a new talented filmmaker Kay Crawford. Dan does a short introduction explaining that the short films are “rude and crude” mainly because what camera was used and how long the footage/films were just lying around. He goes in a little bit of detail of what he and his brother did and it will most likely make a few filmmakers watching this cringe! But Dan Komarek’s short film projects were: Lockjaw – two brothers resolving paranormal activity at a home, Soldiers – Two FBI agents visiting an Army vet who just got home and what he may or may not have done overseas, Connection of Pain – a botched robbery that actually becomes an event about pain, Hunting Season – a young man is weirded out by a possible hunter that seems to be stalking him, Carnal Violence – A man’s random trip through the woods becomes filled with terror, and Vektor Bourne – a 15 minute spy thriller with no budget that involves a disc with the all-important “CODES”. Dan Komarek is right they are all “rude and crude” but this DVD shows people it had to start somewhere. Plus I always liked finding early stuff such as this because it gives us viewers or fans insight to what their thinking was then and now and believe the filmmaker can gain some respect by releasing cool stuff like this? Yeah, most of it is bad but for example his short film ‘Hunting Season’ to me even then for a very young Dan Komarek showed with a little more time and editing that short had something… “Passion” and sometimes that is all what viewers are looking for when checking out independent films especially ones they never heard of the filmmaker. So if you are lucky to land your gory little Indy hands on this I hope you enjoy as I give the collection 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
WE’RE NOT DEAD YET!!!! This week we return to catch up after Kyle returns from a trip to see Tim in Pittsburgh to attend wedding of the century of our good friend and yours Out of Print Dan. That entire aside we will be covering 3 more flicks. The first being a weak ass independent joint called ZILLAFOOT. The second a grand, grand WTF movie from Indonesia called DEMON SWORD. And finally a weirded out Hollywood jam that is still perplexing to Kyle in A CURE FOR WELLNESS. We also talk about what we have been watching, we spin the wheel of time, and we answer your listener questions. All that and such topics as strange giallo titles, John’s upcoming attempt at cinematic suicide as he hopes to try to watch all things Charles Band has ever done, And Kyle pitches his new movie premise for Bonobo Cop… Half Man, Half Monkey… All justice! So download this episode or “I’ll let the monkey’s loose”
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