Tag Archives: independent film

Gross Movie Reviews #670

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Black Candles (Plex TV) – For starters this film is available on streaming but also had a recent Blu-ray edition and keep in mind its Spanish for those who hate reading subtitles. Anyway getting into the meat of this 1982 film, Carol’s brother dies abruptly so her and her partner fly out to the middle of nowhere to be with the sister-in-law Carol who isn’t impressed with. Within minutes arriving Carol questions Fiona the widow because of the strange circumstances she feels in her mind. It doesn’t help Carol when she arrives at the mansion she immediately smells strange smells, hears her brother’s ghostly voice, hell she has a dream of bumping uglies with her brother… Which that is when I questioned if I tapped into some weird PornHub video or I was watching some serious softcore shit? But also if you didn’t know there is some serious Satanist shit going down in this film because they got some goat fucking going on kids! While all this is going on Fiona seduces Carol’s partner with the sex, orgies, and SATAN! But it’s already too late (maybe?) as Carol is supposed to be Satan’s bride as this coven punishes a dude with a sword to the anus! I won’t ruin the ending but I will say buckle up kids for full bush and you questioning if you are watching a horror film or a full blown porn either or I was entertained as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Freaky Tales (Internet) – For as advertised and heavily waited for this movie got pooped out there into the universe long before its release dateso that leaves way too many questions that has nothing to do with the film. Anyway, I will say the filmmakers got the formula of an anthology down right for this very loosely based tale or tales on events that happened in 1987 Oakland, California. First story is about teenage punks protecting their hangout from Nazis, second story is about two girls getting their chance of a lifetime of being rappers at a rap battle, third story is about a guy who is paid to collect debts and wants to retire, and the last story is about Sleepy Floyd the basketball player which I found the most interesting tale of the whole film. To me at least the film felt heartless, felt like this film sat on a shelf for a couple years before its release to the internet, and really felt like a more of a west coast thing if that makes sense. Or as I like to say to save time, “this film wasn’t made for me” as I felt like I had to sit through 80 minutes of a boring movie to see what I really wanted to watch as I can only give it 1 ½ stars.

Shivers Me Timbers (Amazon) – So there is a third horror film about Popeye and this one sucks goat balls to put it plainly if you are asking me. This version decides to go the lazy way in my opinion of trying to put a plot together of being 80s nostalgia claiming it is based on real murders? Takes place in 1986 when Halley’s Comet was a big thing and strange things happen around it when a small ass meteor enters a pipe of an old fisherman. This is how he becomes mutant Popeye or in my opinion A.I. Popeye bullshit! He quickly finds teenagers out in the woods looking to watch the comet so he can murder horribly only for the film to become a crappy image of several past horror favorites that this doesn’t even come close too? The movie was made in Scotland which explains a lot because honestly I would be surprised if the people there really knew Popeye or the impact of the cartoon had but that is for another conversation as I can only give this tragic piece of poop 1 star.

Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter (DVD) – A Hammer film on so many levels that leaves you with you so many questions because it has such a different vibe for a vampire film along with why there weren’t several sequels? First off it needs to be stated for this 1974 film that it stars the timeless beauty Caroline Munro! But this basic story in the English countryside has a couple of young women drained of their youth that has the interest of Kronos and his traveling professor companion since the war ended and  they now have been fighting a new war against vampires. What’s new and still different till this day at the same time is this odd vamp flick sets up a whole other set of rules and explains even within the film not all rules apply to every vamp. If you are a young horror movie lover or old this movie has a kind of timeless effort and a different vibe than your usual Hammer flick for the mere reason of this odd vamp plot. Without giving too much away as I have watched this three times in my life and believe I have seen something different like John Carpenter’s The Thing is the film comes down to a very dark family secret that is unknown to all. I love the concept and I am curious why some of the most recent so-called talented filmmakers haven’t tackled this as a remake or a sequel as I give it 3 ½ stars.

Jules Verne’s Mysterious Island (DVD) – It is weird to say what I grew up on and how many movies I watched in my life to never come across this film? The film’s plot begins in a Civil War prison in Virginia at the end of the war where some soldiers who are prisoners plot to steal a hot air balloon during a devastating rainstorm. The escapees get off the ground but after a long travel is forced to an island where they must help each other to survive. What also throws the characters off is everything on the island they encounter is giant! When Captain Nemo happens to show himself they come to learn Nemo had traveled here or shipwrecked in so many words has been doing experiments to better human life in the future but has a dire warning about the island itself as they all must leave sooner than later. This 1961 film is more adventure than a horror film and is a great intro for the younger audience into how special effects can help a film as I give it 3 stars.

Robot Holocaust (Blu-ray) – Oh this beauty has popped up again since a legit Blu-ray for whatever crazy reason has made it out into our lives but for those that don’t know this is a product of Wizard Video/Empire Pictures. Yep, Charles Band kids… but it is an actual film made by Tim Kincaid of ‘Mutant Hunt’ fame but this can also be a prequel to Robot Jox, Robot Wars, Crash and Burn. Anyhow in this low budget post-apocalyptic world the robots have long took over and the humans are slaves in most places. But in the location of New Terra (or in the rumble of certain parts of New York) humans are alive and well but slaves who are used to fight each other for sport until Neo arrives. Neo is a product of the wastelands that has somehow survives the atrocities of the wastelands to come and start a revolution against the robots. He helps lead them to a power station to go fight the darklord for their freedom.  Hilariously fun and stupid at the same time this film was literally out of print for many decades as it would randomly show up as a bootleg or on a channel for a one time watch so you be the judge as I was just happy it had a legit physical copy. The movie might not be much to desire but the interview on the Blu-ray might explain some things as I give it 2 stars but will never turn down watching this one more time as it looks glorious in this restoration.

Final Recovery (Tubi) – A moderate budgeted Indy film that stars Richard Tyson plays with some uncomfortable realistic storylines… Addiction, recovery, etc., you understand what I am saying? Not a laughing matter as this film takes this subject very seriously begins with 1974 a young lady seeing her father confronted with an addict and killed. Decades later, Nanny Lou runs a present day treatment center called SAGE. This is supposed to be a safe place for addicts and this is where Rodney our main character comes in. Rodney is our everyday addict having trouble sticking to the program with the exception he does have an excuse as he doesn’t trust Nanny Lou? Her effort is there but for nefarious reasons. After Rodney is brought back to the facility once again he finds a friend there and explains Nanny Lou cannot be trusted as it’s all about the money but patients start to disappear on a more regular basis which also raises the red flag. A great movie with a very black passionate heart that tackles a tough subject of life with some wonderful characters you will grow attached too. The film is smart, evil, and playful all at the same time as I give the feature 3 out of 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Gross Movie Reviews #669

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The Final Possession (Tubi) – One of the newest projects from Mark Polonia has Tim Hatch in the role of Father Thomas warning all of us that the devil is coming. The Father’s plan is to send out his disciples to stop the “evil one” and to have the agents of the darklord killed. (Which honestly folks that isn’t God like right or isn’t that against the church? Must be one of those Prophecy film things I am still trying to figure out 25 years later…) Anyhow, if Father Thomas does not accomplish this task it will allow the “Day of Judgement” to come! Bold undertaking for an independent film on a very limited budget as the film will be a fun watch for hardcore Polonia fans. My main complaint of this film is it did entertain me but felt like it was made 30 years too late in the career of Polonia Brothers Entertainment as I feel it would have been a totally different film then and how they would have tackled it? Either way another solid entry into the IMDb list for Polonia and crew as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars and yes I quite enjoyed Tim Hatch reading his lines from the book in a couple of scenes as I have done that on a regular basis (yes, I have become a fan of Tim Hatch)

He Never Left (Plex) – In 1997 at a small town of Larsen City has a masked killer “Pale Face” who haunted the town terribly killing many only to disappear without reason. Now present time, Gabe a recent parole has done something bad and trying to hide out at a seedy motel. Gabe trying to arrange an escape out of town now that authorities are searching everywhere for him has to stay hidden until he gets the call to bolt. Problem something happens in the next room and Gabe believes “Pale Face” is back? This is where the real story begins as Gabe is losing his mind and bodies are starting to pile up again. This is a creative independent serial killer film that will leave many thinking one way or another as there is no middle ground on this movie. Yes, you will know who the killer is but do you actually? The beauty of the film is how it sucks you in believing you are in for another hack and slash Indy but there is a lot more to this than meets the eye. Folks give this film a chance, pay attention, and I quite enjoyed what this film did as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.

Popeye: The Slayer Man (Amazon) – So the second of three Popeye horror films out there and this one goes with more of what we know of the spinach eating cartoon character. In this version it is rumored a ghost haunts the abandoned spinach canning factory down at the dock and it kills anyone that enters and talks shit on the location. Twenty years later enter sleezeball real estate people, bootleg Joel D. Wynkoop as security, a small group of film students wanting to film on the last night before the building is sold, an abusive boyfriend and his crew and we got a POPEYE SLASHER FILM! WTF? Funny thing happens here folks… the movie works as it becomes a fun bloodbath with an entertaining subplot about radioactive spinach. Gimme stuff like this all the time as I give the cartoon adaption 3 stars.

The Final Alliance (YouTube) – So apparently Hollywood or sub-Hollywood was sucking ideas from my brain long ago as this beauty comes out of the golden era of direct-to-video B-movie junk of 1990 that stars David Hasselhoff as Will Colton who has come back home with… his pet puma! Yep, I got you wanting to watch it before you even finish reading this. Do I even need to write this review at this point? Colton and Felix roll back into town mysteriously on this old farm that bikers have made their ‘fuck pad’. Colton refuses to have any of this go on so he starts kicking ass soon as he enters his old house. But Colton and the pet puma do not stop there as they learn the biker gang and oh did I mention the biker gang is led by the legendary John Saxon with bleached out hair, weird contacts, and rides in a side car the whole film? Back to the story Colton and Felix roll into town meet the town hottie who owns the grocery store and begins to convince the small town it is time to get rid of this biker trash. As Joe Bob would say “have we seen this couple of dozen times? Yes we have. But have you seen it with a weird John Saxon and Hoff’s pet puma?” This amazing hot garbage feels like it was sucked out of my teenager ‘Knight Rider’ loving mind and I am quite happy to let yinz know you can watch it for free on the YouTubes n’at as I give the movie 3 stars.

Empire of the Dark (YouTube) – Holy shit what wormhole did I fall down as I watched this weird fantasy film that was made by Steve Barkett who also stars in it with the likes of Joe Pilato and Jay Richardson. Immediately when it begins it feels like some lost late 70s TV movie that played once and disappeared into the void. Then after credits the movie takes another odd turn as I feel like I just found a lost episode of Commander USA I use to watch as a kid? So here are the plot folks: a cop named Richard goes through a portal (with one bullet by the way) to save his super-hot girlfriend (which there is no way this dude is pulling her). But there is a twist kids he can only save the baby or super-hot ex-girlfriend now mom. He picks the kid and everything is history or until twenty years later strange shit pops up as Richard is a private detective who is working on the “demon slasher” case and dabbles in sword play. (Did Dan Komarek write this shit?) The Satanists are back murdering people, Richard’s hot ex is talking to him in his dreams, and the kid from twenty years ago now grown up wants answers damn it and the only way to defeat the Satanists is with bibles and swords as I give it 2 ½ stars!

Beezel (DVD) – So some weirdo bought a house with a fucked up looking witch living in the basement in 1966. He convinced some female to marry him and become a serial killer of sorts as they feed this witch random people in hopes that this evil presence produces a baby and give them power. Supposedly this witch was taken by humans and that is how she got here so of course she requires a sacrifice if you are going to keep her ass in the basement. A couple (which the girlfriend character is an unlikable bitch) move in the home as the dude is the son of said serial killers and wants to sell this home and get the fuck out of there. Well the girlfriend doesn’t let that happen as she seeks out the stories about the weird shit that has gone on over the years in this house. I know there is horror fans that will just eat this film up and good for you but this movie for me seem to be missing that important ingredient “heart”? I felt like the film wasn’t bad but just going through the paces of hope to start a series of films to keep telling the story of said witch as I can only give the film 2 stars.

Harvester of Eyes (Fawesome) – Polonia and crew with another recent release that concerns eyeballs, a fortune teller, no budget, but also felt like it had to be done in a couple days (felt like there was a time constraint?) This interesting tale features Jamie Morgan throughout and looks like she had absolute fun with it as Sinthia, is sent out by her sister from hell to collect eyeballs from humans. Why eyeballs? Well they are the gateway to souls of mortals which Sinthia’s sister craves. Sinthia leaves the comforts of hell to take over a fortune teller’s business to collect her victims or eyeballs in this case. Things are going great until an old inspector gets involved and figures out the real reason bodies are piling up around town. Jamie Morgan was awesome, Jeff Kirkendall was perfect as the inspector, it just felt like the project was a bit rushed but that could be me but definitely see Polonia fans enjoying another entry outside of the usual Polonia films we have seen in the past as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Mark Polonia: A Life of Monsters, Mayhem, and Movies (YouTube) – For those who are interested this is a quick two part documentary done in two five minute segments in 2015 on the career of Mark Polonia. Most likely a piece for local TV just celebrating what Mark has accomplished in his community. It is a fun look and interview with Mark as they even talk with others who worked with Mark over the years and tell quick stories about him. Another reason to check it out is to refresh people’s memories Mark is one of the godfathers of SOV and what their projects did for the video market in the late 80s and early 90s that many movie fans might not know or have forgotten about. Fun stuff so if you get a chance, its free, its quick as I give it 4 stars.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Amityville… Now 65 Entries… I Am Still Fascinated… And Still Waiting For More? (Part Two)

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So folks I return to talk the topic of all topics among horror movie fans, ‘Amityville’. I thought I would be writing this six months down the road but I got sidetracked (three years and 29 entries later). Unlike the ‘Witchcraft’ and ‘Bloodfist’ franchises this is taking more time than I thought it would. First time around I questioned if this was an actual franchise? Maybe taking a second look at it, it could be considered the longest running Indy franchise unless you are even a bigger weirdo than me and bring up the reinvented series ‘Camp Blood’ or ‘Things’ but that is a whole other weirdo conversation we can tackle another time. (Gimme a two week period I will track them all down and watch them) So how have I been since tracked down new entries or how has my life changed since I decided to tackle this film series? Well, I am still demented and completely fascinated with this franchise! But a weird thing has happened on social media to me as I have gotten pulled into rando discussions about the ‘Amityville’ series discussing: how many there actually is, what constitutes an entry, to why I still hate Mt. Misery Road? Point is somehow I have become an “expert” on the ‘Amityville’ series and let’s use that term loosely as it is such a hard thing to explain. The one thing I can explain is why I number the entries as too many people are “trying to be the smartest person in the room or on said social media platform” are counting entries that are never made or hell they are not even watching them. Which not watching the film but doing some kind of review is just a weird thing if you are keeping track? And why? And should we seek you some help as I don’t feel like a complete lunatic when pointing that out. (You may laugh now as that part of the rant is done.)

     Anyway, before I completely lose focus I wanted to write this article because once again the series has slowed down again but is gearing up for a shitload of potential releases in the next six to eight months including myself, my brother “Famous Actor” Tom Gross, and super talented filmmaker Maddie Deering starting production on: Amityville Fishing Hole and Amityville Neighbor. Weird things have happened in these movies being produced… like are there actual physical copies? Are they even streaming? Why only a select few people have seen it? And most of all if finished why didn’t said person or persons release it to a physical format or streaming platform believe me there is much shitter entries out there! Examples: Tea Bag – The same person that gave us Amityville Frankenstein and Elevator supposedly filmed this entry and its two years old? Another filmmaker claimed to have a film called Amityville Poo already finished or almost finished and that was in 2022? Another title that baffles me is Amityville Sharkhouse… why? Well Shawn Phillips has produced six, seven entries already mostly released by SRS Cinema so why not this film that is again two years old now but not seen by anybody except in this inner West Coast circle of Indy people. And let’s not even get into the subgenre of these most likely shot for YouTube ‘Amityville’ flicks but good luck finding them such as Subhuman: The Amityville Experiment, Amityville Versus Galactic Samurai School Girls from Outer Space, Amityville Webcam. There are pictures, promotion for them all over Google but who the Rutger Hauer actually knows these exist… until I watch them.

     Here is a summarized version of some of the entries I have watched since the last article with a few comments and of course all the reviews can be seen at www.grossmoviereviews.com

Amityville: In Space which helped Mark Polonia go viral but I was critical of because he has done better!

Amityville Thanksgiving was just such a boring letdown.

Amityville Scarecrow 2… simply did we actually need a sequel?

Amityville Karen was dead in the water before it even got out there because of its societal reference which there is reasons a project I was going to co-direct and co-produced called Amityville She-shed was a joke for 15 minutes and we smarten up quickly… But that stop me from writing a prequel and turning into a ‘massacre’ story of course.

There was a Quilt Store, a ride-share, a 1977 film renamed under an Amityville title, a curse from Tubi streaming app which jumped into the series feet first, a sad attempt at an Emmanuelle film, a sequel into the ‘Death Toilet’ series, a job interview, Frankenstein, a haunted elevator that almost bored me to death, a bloodbath from a teenager in Florida, A.I. (with a sequel coming) and a Jack the Ripper entry that a solid cast but the filmmaker made the mistake believing he could make a Deadpool entry?

But let me pull yinz back in as then some of the more recent entries got serious, like they got for the love of Rutger Hauer interesting with some real thought behind the entry…

Like entry #59 called The Last Amityville Movie which was one of the most interesting watches as a filmmaker for not much money decided to have a haunted doorknob, a second pandemic, and a way to put an end to the series! Very interesting and creative I must say.

Another entry was about a haunted backpack. It sounds so dumb but found myself not able to turn it off.

Did I happen to mention there was also a sequel to Amityville Thanksgiving called Turkey Day that I questioned if it was an actual movie or just a mess someone threw out there?

Oh yeah there was the Bigfoot entry, I wanted it to be better.

But the two entries that stood out possibly the most besides The Last Amityville Movie was: Once Upon a Time in Amityville which I felt Mark Polonia and crew really did a great job of giving Amityville an origin story but no one even speaks of it. Mark deserves kudos for the mere reason of actually giving a backstory to a series of films that don’t even make a lick of sense. This is where the legendary Mark Polonia shows off his talent not in the entry (In Space) where the internet lost its mind for a week knowing it exists. The second entry would be Amityville Christmas Vacation of course. The ultra-talented Steve Rudzinski literally won a Fango award for it! What more needs to be said other than it starring amazing talents Aleen Isley and Ben Dietels. (Honestly, this was Steve just showing off. Where other filmmakers struggle with the Amityville subject, Steve knew exactly how to make it not just watchable but a holiday treat that many fans have put it into their holiday to watch pile every year now next to a ‘Black Christmas’.

And now folks we get to the stinker of the bunch. The only entry that has gotten close to me saying it is so bad it was as bad as Amityville Mt. Misery Road. That entry is Amityville: Where the Echo Lives that I dare you to watch with Mt. Misery Road and unless you are a complete loon like me you will most likely just stab yourself in the eyeballs! Amityville: Where the Echo Lives went into actual theaters for a weekend? Yep, let that sink in as there are legit bad ass horror films that no one hears about that if they are lucky Shudder finds them and then we scooped this shit. Really Hollywood, not to be critical or anything.

     What is next for me as I keep waiting for the next entry? Did I happen to mention there is an entry called Amityville Leprechaun that is on again in production (now five years and counting)? Or Amityville Barbi in production or Amityville Pool Toy Massacre coming or Amityville Aliens, honestly kids if you lasted this long reading an article about me rambling about Amityville films the answer is going to be me being me. I am going to be that guy that will watch bad movies. Always keep track of Amityville films. Support but be critical at times of Indy stuff. Or simply put I will always be Tim Gross and thank you reading.

Wanna help support?

Please come to Grossfest 2025, August 1&2 (check out www.grossfest.com for more info) where you can meet independent actors, artists, authors, and filmmakers. Plus hear me rant about the Amityville series!

Gross Movie Reviews #668

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Mickey 17 (Theater) – So venturing out of my comfort zone I took a chance on a film I wasn’t impressed by the trailers or who was starring in it. But I gave it a chance and I believe I found a film that many don’t understand (but are intrigued) or chooses too not understand, right now but I am telling you give this feature five years and there are going to be fans calling it a “cult film”. Or as I also like to point out this film hit too close to what is going on in society now? Anyway, a film based on a book about advanced tech as the film is set in 2054 where a human could be listed as an “expendable”. Mickey signs up for space travel where human experiments can be performed legally. The basic premise is scientists test various things on Mickey to see how it affects humans. When he dies the scientists reprint a new version of him out with his past memories. Now Mickey #17 is lying at the bottom of an ice pit waiting to be eaten by some horrible creature on a planet humans know little about. This is where the story actually begins forty minutes into the feature as Mickey 17 doesn’t die and walks back to the ship only to encounter Mickey 18. By intergalactic law there cannot be ‘multiples’! This of course knocks everything out of balance while Mickey 17 is tired of dying and finally for the first time in his life just wants to live. This is a great complex and completely outrageous script, wonderful cast that I just absolutely enjoyed with great delight! Yes, it will be on my list of ‘best movies of 2025’ but only time will tell if I am correct if this is the next “Buckaroo Banazi” cult like film of its time? Point is don’t sleep on this one movie watchers as I give this 4 stars as I try not to give up too much about the film as I want you to really experience this one!  

Bloodsick Psychosis (Blu-ray) – The best part of the movie for me at least might be the opening credits done in some wild Claymation. This SOV film’s plot has a couple taking some acid and pretty much chaos ensues for them as they lose their freakin mind. After a bad headache and a thirst for blood Pacey slowly loses his mind to the point he kills a cat and shoots up the dead cat’s blood for a fix. Once Pacey sinks deeper into the psychosis he becomes more violent as the filler of the film is drive-in footage, concert footage, and the legendary David “The Rock” Nelson as a weird infomercial sprinkled in to fill out the feature. I cannot condemn the Indy film as I enjoy the grittiness of the SOV film as well knowing there is an audience for it as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Bigfoot the Movie: The Sequel (Tubi) – Not trying to be too critical of this Indy flick but, “was anybody really asking for a sequel let alone several years later?” The sequel brings back the three main characters to gear up for their next hunting adventure as they are contacted by Hilga to investigate a Yeti at a local ski lodge. Their preparation for the adventure is hilarious as they drink as many Iron City Beers as humanly possible in their garage before the trip. They then head to the lodge and begin their hunt as the film seems to quickly go downhill from there. I give them credit for leaning more into the Yinzer accent and having the Pittsburgh beer of choice featured throughout but the death dagger to the film might be the feeling of it being an unfunny version of “The Three Stooges meets the Yeti”. If it makes any sense it seems even less happens in this sequel than first film as I can only give the Indy feature 1 ½ out of 4 stars. A good thing is seeing all the Western Pa acting talent showing up in this feature just wish it was a better film to feature them.

Dinner with Leatherface (Tubi) – A wonderful documentary that just doesn’t look into the man behind Leatherface of the original ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ but looks real hard into Gunnar Hansen the person. No matter what Gunnar was well respected and lovable among all out there that ever met him over the years. Gunnar is described as a “Class Act” and the talk of his impact playing Leatherface by such celebs Debbie Rochon, Barbara Crampton, Jeff Burr, and Kane Hodder among many others who explained Gunnar was “one of a kind human”. The stories about the man told by his peers are just phenomenal and might make you cry by the end as I give the documentary 4 stars.

Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace (DVD-R) – This project is a six episode series from 2004 that was canceled in the UK that was filmed in this 80s soap opera weirdness to tell tales of the supernatural set in a hospital. The point of the series was supposed to be a fake TV show that was made during the 80s and its claim would be that the series was lost shortly after shooting. The show is half hour episodes of evil supernatural things happening in parody form of this fictional hospital along with the author doing the intro for the episodes. This truly offbeat series did find a small but vocal audience through “Adult Swim” here in America along with a cult like status in the UK asking for a second season but never happened. The series is a little too weird for me as it just didn’t exactly make me love it but I definitely respect what the people behind this project were trying to do as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Monkey (On Demand) – The film’s plot begins in 1999 with a set of twin boys who do not get along well but their deadbeat father supposedly walked out on their mom. But the viewer sees at that very beginning the father is trying to pawn off this toy monkey that plays the drums because it is “evil”. The boys going through their father’s stuff that was left behind come across a box “Organ Grinder Monkey” with the toy monkey in it. You turn the key in the back of the monkey, it plays the drums, and someone dies horrifically! After a few bizarre deaths happen the twins dispose of the monkey believing it cannot come back to haunt them. 25 years pass as the monkey randomly shows up at their aunt’s estate sale killing her the very next evening. But someone keeps turning the key over and over as weird deaths are happening daily around the small town the twins use to live in. Now for the first time the twins are together trying to figure out who is turning the key again. Enjoyed the death scenes but for me the ending was kind of a letdown compared to the rest of the film as I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Return of Captain Invincible (Blu-ray) – This lost 1983 film stars Christopher Lee as a villain of course named “Midnight” who after ruining New York City wants to ruin the world. Meanwhile the film centers around a superhero to many who fought against gangsters and Nazis decades before until he is brought in before a Senate Commission and discredited. The once famous superhero disappears from the world until he is unearthed by a rookie detective in Australia. But now more than ever he is needed by the President of the United States to help defeat the evil mastermind “Midnight”. There is song and dance numbers, The Captain struggling with sobriety which affects his super powers with some bad effects makes this mess of a movie a very interesting project for even the time it was released and you asking it why it was ever made, as I give it 2 stars mainly because of Christopher Lee.

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2025 vendor list!

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Nene’s Soaps

Nekroshark Films

Burghbrats Krafty Kreations

Melissa Sapienza-Garrett  

Classy Crows

Lowell Squires

Sam Hice Art

Ultra Violent

Lisa Neeld

Cheevies Film Productions

Chase Will

Nomad Comics

MMH Productions

Kiss of Death Productions

RJR Craft Labs

13 Occult

Secondhand Spooky

Forever Entertainment

Video Nasty Productions

Clifton Taylor

Celebration of Spirits

1282 Productions

Loretta Lynn Chambers

Steve Livengood

Static Talent/Matt Chasin/Michael Coulombe

Dandylinn

Dazed N Disorderly

Drunken Yinzers Productions

JAB Productions

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

Tickets for admission: $10 for one day or $15 for both days.

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

(Again no one under 18 will be allowed to get a tattoo so please don’t ask. Also you will need a Grossfest wristband in order to make your appointment with Angel the tattoo artist.)

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

For show info: www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.

Gross Movie Reviews #667

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The Slasher Nurse (Film Freeway) – Twenty years ago two girls (Piper and Grace) go to what they believe is an abandon house that looks really cool for their movie shoot. But the girls find out they are not alone as some of their friends play a prank that has Piper locked in a trunk when they are run off the property by an old man. Her brother finds her later only to be stabbed in a fit of rage by accident by Piper. Fast forward twenty years and the friends all work together exception for Piper who happens to be at the Blue Ridge Facility. Grace, friends, and work friends are all going away for the weekend but old wounds are reopened when Evan who is blamed for the prank gone wrong shows up before the weekend gets started. If that wasn’t enough the same evening Piper who hasn’t said much for years has escaped the hospital and has already created a murderous path to Grace and friends. The film is an interesting “prank goes wrong” flick with some nice gory kills that includes a death by lawnmower. Plus what will help writer/director to get film distribution are the appearances of popular horror stars: Felissa Rose, Diana Prince, and Jim Krut. Even though Kerr gives it a fun touch of bringing some freshness to the slasher genre its main flaw is the 107 minute running time that could easily be trimmed down to 88-90 minute time frame but that is for another conversation. But Kerr’s saving grace (no pun intended) is the twist he gave to his horror feature as I give the feature 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Shizzly Grark (Fawesome) – Yes folks, half bear/half shark Cryptid that a small town claims is real? Kids doing a senior film project on this thing wanna prove that it is a thing of fiction, urban legend but they disappear before the project is finished. This is the found footage, interviews and experience of seeing this mysterious creature. The movie did a smart by keeping it under an hour and keeping the pacing non-stop but the real highlight in this mess about the fictional creature is “The Mummy” being interviewed on his thoughts… downright hilarious! The movie is a complete terrible mess but should have enough charm to keep you entertained and not disappointed you watched it as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Booger (DVD) – The film is from 2023 but just hit all the streaming sites and is a complete turd! Anna loses her best friend Izzy who helped take care of this stray cat. Shortly after Izzy’s death the cat supposedly bites Anna, disappears, and Anna slowly goes through changes including her depression for her dead friend. Anna completely ignores her boyfriend, job, and life in general looking for this cat named ‘Booger’. The film is listed as a horror/comedy and I neither laughed nor seen anything horrifying other than wasting my fuckin 78 minutes watching it. A stupid young twenty something wants to act like a cat and at the end all is fine? This passes for some kind of a movie? I have seen movies that don’t even try but this so-called movie is insulting Indy filmmaking in general as this of course gets nothing except for already winning the award for being the worst film I have watched already in 2025. Sorry it’s not Meta, it’s not ironic, and it’s just fucking dumb!        

Pandemic Thirst (Blu-ray) – Chris Woods and a talented cast put together a quick 64 minute film that revolves around 2020s Covid-19 and how it affects vampires. The film opens with Covid just hitting as people scramble to get home before everything closes down for a period of time as humans are about to deal with a horrible virus worse than vampires. During the early days of this pandemic Cynthia is on the run and sick with nowhere to turn a beautiful vampire Willow happens to find her. They share a hotel room and instead of Willow feeding on Cynthia she chooses to turn her. But there is a catch as the virus may have already been in Cynthia’s blood and for some unknown reason it has actually made Willow terribly sick as vampires have survived plagues and viruses long before this. Simply put this is an interesting concept that has that “SyFy Channel Saturday Night vibe” but done ‘The Sleaze Box’ way with Sushii Xhyvette Holder just being an absolute fun bad ass as she hits it out of the park with this role. Like Mr. Woods or not I do respect what he did with this concept and gotta give this entertaining Indy vamp flick 3 out of 4 stars.

Eat and Run (YouTube) – A mid-80s oddity from New World Pictures where an alien lands on Earth that enjoys eating Italian… Eye-talian people that is! A detective McSorely (Ron Silver) who works for the NYPD and talks like he is describing his character’s actions in a book at all times sees the impossible which this huge thing eating Italians and has to convince his boss that aliens exist. With the police force believing McSorely is nuts, he’s on his own to bring in this maniac alien with an appetite. There is some terrible 80s jokes and along with the alien cuckolding Ron Silver’s character but that doesn’t stop McSorely bringing the alien to justice as the film doesn’t really have an ending as I give the bad attempt at comedy 1 ½ stars.

Behind the Walls (Blu-ray) – A family moves into an old house with the intention of course to call it theirs and fix it up along with the broken family relationship. All members feel like there is something off about the house but of course since they are white decide to stay only to find out the hard way the house has an evil presence that has decided to keep them there. Which by the way the evil presence in the home is played by bootleg toxic waste dude from Robocop. The movie come off like a family drama than horror film as from beginning to end the movie just moves at a disjointed pace. Horror fans yinz are not missing much here as I can only give it 1 star.

The Nature of the Beast (Tubi) – A mid-90s Victor Salva flick where two very different men (Jack and Adrian) keep crossing paths in small desert towns. One stole a good bit of money from a casino and the other is a cold hearted serial killer. Both use each other as cover until they reach a breaking point that doesn’t end well for one as it stars the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen and Eric Roberts. Sounds good on paper, two solid performers, but something just doesn’t feel right from the beginning as I can only give this feature 2 stars.

Heart Eyes (On Demand) – It is Valentine’s Day and in the past two years there has been a murder spree in Boston and Philadelphia that the serial killer has been named the “Heart Eyes Killer”. Now set in Seattle the Heart Eyes Killer has set his sights on this city where once again he will look for couples to kill as he did the past two years on this lovely holiday. Best way to describe this latest slasher feature is ‘Scream meets a RomCom’ made for people under the age of 24. Now while I say that this isn’t a terrible movie by any means that most likely will be the ‘My Bloody Valentine’ for the new generation of horror fans? But this might be the first film in quite a while that was literally targeting a very specific group of horror fans to start a franchise. You see the ending coming a mile away and plus you’ll understand why I said ‘Scream’ as I give this interesting let’s say ‘test subject for the young-ins’ 2 stars.  

Trail Cam Sasquatch (Fawesome) – Something strange has been going on in the woods of Central, Pa., in fall of 2024 as UFO sightings are almost reported daily but what comes along with that is Sasquatch sightings. Trail cams in the woods have been snapping a photo daily of this mysterious creature but to no avail it stays elusive from authorities. So a small hunting party plans to go into the woods for the weekend to capture the elusive creature unless Tim Hatch’s character is trapped in a bathroom taking the morning grumpy? But the only thing this small hunting party finds is a young injured woman lost in the woods that brings the wrath of not just one Sasquatch but many! Tim Hatch’s character keeps the horror light in this Polonia feature but entertaining as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

The Girl Who Wore Yellow Lace (Tubi) – This feature feels like Mark Polonia goes way out of his comfort zone to bring a giallo to his resume. I knew I was in for something different from the legendary Indy filmmaker when the Polonia usuals only had bit parts in this feature. A young model Arianna is convince to join a modeling agency as she wants to do whatever it takes to be the most popular model. Arianna dream to become one of the biggest models has a price as she loses grip with her old life and boyfriend. The more she tries to become the most in demand model the more of her fellow models are murdered by a mysterious black-gloved killer. Kudos to Mark Polonia for doing something totally unexpected and for the love of Rutger Hauer, Jeff Kirkendall’s character is extremely creepy in this Indy giallo as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.  

Any comments please send to grossmoviereview@verizon.net or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews .

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!

Grossfest 2025 – August 1st & 2nd

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(We wanna thank ahead of time the great guests, the awesome vendors, and of course the people that will attend, thank yinz all for making this happen and supporting Independent horror)

Grossfest August 1st & 2nd, 2025

Location:

Comfort Inn Conference Center

699 Rodi Road, Pittsburgh, PA, 15235

To book a hotel room for Grossfest 2025 you can use this group link: https://www.choicehotels.com/reservations/groups/YB53X6

Tickets for admission: $10 for one day or $15 for both days at the door. (Yes we are lazy n’at)

Vendor, movie, and tattoo room hours:

(Again no one under 18 will be allowed to get a tattoo so please don’t ask. Also you will need a Grossfest wristband in order to make your appointment with Angel the tattoo artist.)

August 1st, Friday 4-10pm

August 2nd, Saturday 11-7pm

(Movies and/or panels will be announced closer to the show)

For show info: http://www.grossfest.com or go to our Grossfest Facebook group or event page.

(Complete Vendor list is coming and yes we are sold out)

(Movie list is coming along and will be posted July 4th weekend)

Yes, there will be a band “13 Occult” playing 7pm on back patio on Saturday after Grossfest 2025 closes! https://www.facebook.com/13occultMusic

Grossfest 2025 guest list:

The Mummy and The Monkey (Saturday only)

Mark Polonia

Jeff Kirkendall

Jamie Morgan

Tim Hatch

Jessa Flux

Mel Heflin

Phil Herman

Steve Rudzinski

Aleen Isley

Morrigan Thompson-Milam

The official Grossfest tattoo artist and all around coolest horror movie fan ever to exist Angel O’Connor!

Special guest – Jason Burke

Retro Media Marketplace

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Check out this cool event that I will be at promoting Grossfest 2025 and selling some Indy DVDs for $5!

Vendor market show featuring physical media to buy, sell, or trade.

Vendors and collectors selling: VHS & Beta Video Tapes; Laser Discs, CED Discs & DVDs; Vinyl Records & Cassette Tapes; CRT (tube) TVs; VCRs; Vintage Stereo Equipment.

Admission is only $5 at the door. Early Bird admission is $10 and begins at 10:00AM! Children 12 and under are free with accompanying adult. Tickets are sold at the door.

Our venue is
Monroeville Mall
Time and Space Event Space
200 Mall Blvd
Monroeville, PA 15046

Time 11-5pm

The Event Space is located on the JC Penney/ Dick’s end of the mall, upper level, across from Victoria’s Secret. Vendors will be inside of our new single large event 10,000 sq ft venue.

Free parking at the mall.

Vendor Spaces available at $50 a space at www.TimeandSpaceToys.com

The Slasher Nurse review

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The Slasher Nurse (Film Freeway) – Twenty years ago two girls (Piper and Grace) go to what they believe is an abandon house that looks really cool for their movie shoot. But the girls find out they are not alone as some of their friends play a prank that has Piper locked in a trunk when they are run off the property by an old man. Her brother finds her later only to be stabbed in a fit of rage by accident by Piper. Fast forward twenty years and the friends all work together exception for Piper who happens to be at the Blue Ridge Facility. Grace, friends, and work friends are all going away for the weekend but old wounds are reopened when Evan who is blamed for the prank gone wrong shows up before the weekend gets started. If that wasn’t enough the same evening Piper who hasn’t said much for years has escaped the hospital and has already created a murderous path to Grace and friends. The film is an interesting “prank goes wrong” flick with some nice gory kills that includes a death by lawnmower. Plus what will help writer/director to get film distribution are the appearances of popular horror stars: Felissa Rose, Diana Prince, and Jim Krut. Even though Kerr gives it a fun touch of bringing some freshness to the slasher genre its main flaw is the 107 minute running time that could easily be trimmed down to 88-90 minute time frame but that is for another conversation. But Kerr’s saving grace (no pun intended) is the twist he gave to his horror feature as I give the feature 2 ½ out of 4 stars.