Tag Archives: Gross Movie Reviews

One reason you should come to Horror Realm…?

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The celebrity list looks great, events look fun, awesome vendors as usual, plus Tim Gross will be there with Out of Print Dan selling the new book “Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross” , copies of Jagoff Massacre, and some other cool goodies from OOPD! But what if you had to pick one thing or reason you should come to Horror Realm because there is nothing like it around the state of Pa?

HR JUly 2015

For me it would be the man, the myth, the Frito-Pie eating, the T-shirt making machine, the legend… Joe Garcia!!!

Why? This is why:

 

http://www.fastcustomshirts.com/spookies-t-shirt/

Spookies

 

http://www.fastcustomshirts.com/woodchipper-massacre-t-shirt/

woodchipper

 

http://www.fastcustomshirts.com/cannibal-campout-t-shirt/

Cannibal

 

http://www.fastcustomshirts.com/split-second-t-shirt/

Split_Second_sm__14999_1423261749_1280_1280

http://www.fastcustomshirts.com/gross-movie-reviews-t-shirt/

GMR shirtOf course you gotta get one of those…

http://www.fastcustomshirts.com/jagoff-massacre-t-shirt/

Jagoff%252520Massacre%252520sm__66775_1415211719_1280_1280

But Mr. Joe Garcia has hundreds of selections at his website:

www.fastcustomshirts.com

Or just check out what he is making next at his facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/fastcustomshirts?fref=ts

And Fast Custom Shirts and the cool T-shirt Joe will be setting up at the fine convention of Horror Realm on July 24-26th, 2015! Get your tickets now for this great event or visit their page for more details: http://www.horrorrealmcon.com

 

Gross Movie Reviews #350

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Gross Movie Reviews #350

 

By Tim Gross

 

What We Do in The Shadows (DVD/On Demand) – Loving the horror flicks coming out of New Zealand as they are just absolutely amazing over the past year! This isn’t a horror movie as its more of a documentary/mockumentary about a camera crew given access to a flat housing four vampires in 2012… and crucifixes! The camera crew is given full access to film everything of this secret society where vampires, werewolves, zombies, all exist and living among us in a major city in New Zealand and always have. But the crew is there to record the everyday simple stuff leading up to an event called “The Unholy Masquerade” where all the monsters or creatures of the night get together for a night of partying. And no humans are allowed! It’s a well-produced monster reality show of the four vampires living together, telling their stories, and how they came to be until now. While the camera crew is there they mistakenly make another vampire who introduces them to his human friend Stewart who in return introduces the vampires to cell phones, internet, and friendship. Another flick I feel many people will have on their list of best movies for 2015 as I will. I literally busted out laughing more than a few times while watching. Great stuff! I give it 4 stars, at first I was only going to give it 3 ½ stars but I rewatch it and laughed harder.

 

Virtuosity (DVD/YouTube) – Its 1995, it’s another movie about virtual reality coming to life, and it stars Mr. Denzel Washington. Biggest difference between this and many other movies that were a product of that concept at the time weren’t very good in the first place but if anything this flick may have gotten better with age as I am the first to admit I did not like this film when it was first released. Oh, did I mention Russell Crowe is the villain, William Forsythe, Traci Lords, Kelly Lynch are in the film. The film centers on virtual reality of course or ‘LETAC’ to be precise as they have come up with a program called “Sid 6.7” aka artificial intelligence. He is to be shut down after killing a prisoner during a simulation for police training. When Sid 6.7 convinces his master to produce him in the real world, real people begin to die and it’s up to another convict Parker (a convict also) to go catch him. It is a little 1995ish but great sci-fi fun as you can see a young Russell Crowe before he beats up hotel telephones and Denzel realize he can be an action star? I give it 3 stars.

 

Gator Bait (VHS/DVD-R) – Is there such a thing as redneck-exploitation? Well I think I found it in this 1974 film that stars the absolutely stunning Claudia Jennings who died at 29 only a few years after this film’s release as a wild child of the back swamps of Louisiana. Claudia aka Desiree Thibodeau takes care of her younger sister and brother in the swamps and is pretty much left alone by local authorities. But there is stories of her cutting a man’s balls off because of him trying to bump uglies with the young lady and all she wants to do is be left alone to take care of her kin! Once she escapes the antics of the sheriff’s son and his friend Ben Bracken that he accidentally shoots when Desiree throws snakes in their boat a hunting party is formed to go bring her in and pay for what she did even though it isn’t her fault someone was shot. The hunting party consists of the Bracken family and the sheriff and his son. They tell stories of the legendary Thibodeau family and how they have lived in deep dark swamps poaching gators for many years. But after Desiree’s sister is shot in the vagina and killed Desiree thirsts for revenge hardcore style as she leads the hunting party deeper in the woods and becomes their worst nightmare. Never seen it until and think it’s an amazing 70s film! I give it 3 ½ stars.

 

Gator Bait 2: Cajun Justice (DVD/DVD-R) – A sequel made fourteen years later made by the Sebastian couple who directed and wrote the first film put their daughter in the lead role of this mostly boring and really useless film unless you are into incest… kind of? Angelique and Big T get married. Big T just happens to be the boy, now a man, from the first film who didn’t talk because he didn’t have a tongue but now is perfectly fine as he bangs the bejesus out of the Sebastian’s daughter on film several times. And before some crazy redneck dudes come by to watch her bathe, kidnap her, rape her, she escapes, fuck people up, end of movie. But that is the problem Angelique aka Sebastian’s daughter is a beautiful redhead… Awesome! But remember her parents are filming her rolling in the hay several times with Big T which is about 70% of the film. Weird! Incest weird… Like weirder than the Mr. Dario Argento rumors or stories horror fans have heard about with Asia Argento, oh yeah I went there. The movie is bad but takes a whole other weird reason to watch it when you know Jan Sebastian’s aka Angelique is given direction by her parents: Okay show more boobs… Good now you will be topless for 65% of the film and we will film the character Big T fake banging you in the sack! WEIRD SHIT PEOPLE?  Maybe this is the reason Mr. Quast and Mr. Poling believe I will watch anything and the human shield for bad movies? Anyway I give it 1 ½ stars, why… She’s a redhead, I thought that was simple.

 

Maggie (OnDemand) – Arnold Schwarzenegger and zombies shouldn’t be in the same sentence unless we are talking about my reimagining of “I Am Legend aka Last Man on Earth aka Omega Man”… Apparently I was wrong as I sat down to watch this amazing performance from crazy old ass Arnold as a farmer in the Midwest who is trying to protect his family from a virus that turns people into zombies and possibly came from the crops that are now being burned by everyone. His daughter Maggie runs away to the big city to see the devastation and is bitten. Arnold brings her home from the hospital to try and live comfortably before she turns. This isn’t your typical balls to the walls bloodbath of zombies as the film is more about the story of love between father and daughter and the progression of this particular zombie virus. You do not immediately turn into a flesh-eater it takes several weeks and there is a quarantine set up. It’s more of humanity still trying to control the apocalypse before it all goes to shit! Let me say also Abigail Breslin as Maggie was wonderful. There is maybe four zombies and a few ounces of blood throughout which sets this film far apart from your usual zombie fare but a must watch for all horror fans as Arnold may be doing some of his best work of his career right now! I give this cool zombie/end of the world flick 3 ½ stars.

Dont-Despair-poster

Don’t Despair (You Tube) – A sixteen minute short film from a filmmaker named Alfred Giancarli. Never heard of him but glad I do now. Alfred directs a fun little masterpiece about a famous serial killer… of sorts? Two collectors who meet to exchange a piece of history like most collectors. But this is different, the man and woman or Rachel and William are people who collect items of serial killers but this magazine William brings to exchange has an extra added happiness for Rachel as she can absolutely feel the thoughts and feelings of her favorite serial killer. And it is very apparent she feels the same connection now after talking for several minutes with William. Because of this connection Rachel has a special surprise for William and without me giving too much of the short film away I will allow you to go watch it yourself:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfOnRpmHbSI . But this one of the best short films I have had the pleasure seeing. Alfred gave great direction and Erin Etheridge and Kevin Reed were perfect for the roles of the two main actors. After watching it a second time I believe Mr. Giancarli is smart enough to understand this concept cannot be stretch to a full feature as it might kill the magic captured in the short film and some things should be just left alone as you move on to new and different projects. I give it 4 out of 4 stars and horror fans give yourself a present today and go watch this short film.

 

Kung Fury (YouTube) – There is a bad VHS tape that has horrible tracking and has a movie on it called, “Kung Fury”. A crazy mixture of nerd’em, the 80s, ninjas, and elements of the movies “Manborg” and “Iron Sky” and you have this crazy mix of a 30 minute computer animated film that has Hitler time traveling! It is one of those “WTF did I watch but I like it” films. It is set in Miami, 1985 where a cop named Kung Fury was hit by lightning and bitten by a cobra at the same time after his partner was sliced and diced. Now he has new super Kung Fu powers of some ancient monks. He stops an out of control video arcade machine that is giving people the finger and killing them only to ridiculed for all the damage done to the city. Seconds after Hitler arrives and kills all the cops through the phone and Kung Fury must travel with help of ‘Hackerman’ to stop Hitler. Brilliant and thank you David Sandberg (Any chance you related to famous Chicago Cubs second baseman Ryan Sandberg?) as I give the 30 minute film 4 stars.

 

Cheap Thrills (DVD) – This was an oddity sent my way by Out of Print Dan who said I needed to watch it. A pretty dark film about two friends who haven’t seen each other in five years and meet in a dive bar talking about all their bad luck of recent times. They meet a married couple who are having a good time and start making stupid bets like “who will drink the whiskey faster?” Soon the two longtime friends find themselves wrapped up in this twisted fantasy of free money and over the top bets. Everything from cutting off a pinky for $15,000 to banging the dude’s wife for $4500 as it just spirals out of control in a night of craziness. I give the film 3 stars and did I mention Trent Haaga was one of the writers on the flick.

 

The Abominable Dr. Phibes (DVD) – Oh the beauty this film is as it stars Vincent Price in one of his best roles as a crazy, over the top, undead doctor who seeks revenge against the doctor and his assistants who killed his wife several years ago. When people start showing up dead from bats, snakes, and all kinds of crazy things, Scotland Yard begins to investigate all the doctors past patients but is it too late for them to stop the reign of terror that Dr. Phibes spreads across London?  This is one of those films that don’t make total sense but you don’t care as horror fans just sit back and enjoy Vincent Price having fun and total weirdness of the film. I give the film 4 stars.

 

Dr. Phibes Rises Again (DVD) – Three years has past and Dr. Phibes has risen from the grave only to find his home in shambles and his map to immortality gone. This map is the key for his wife to be restored to life again as he is still protecting her. Soon people die mysteriously again in London but a strange death of a man dead in a life size Gin bottle sends Scotland Yard to Egypt where they want to capture Dr. Phibes before he spreads his reign of terror again. It’s weird; it’s the 70s, its Vincent Price playing an Organ, why wouldn’t you want to watch this sequel as I give it 3 stars.

 

Cabin by the Lake (DVD) – Judd Nelson in one of his best roles outside of “The Breakfast Club” where the character Stanley who is a writer and he is a serial killer. Stanley is working on a new script for a film that is supposed to be going into production but is still trying to decide how to flesh it out and end it. Stanley is a serial killer who not only kills his victims underwater but also sets them up in his garden where he tends to them daily until one gets away. And with the help of a special effects couple and the local police they try to set up Stanley so he can be captured. I believe this flick premiered on the USA network in 2000 before being released on DVD. Don’t forget to check out Michael Weatherly as the deputy before he became an N.C.I.S. agent on the long running popular NCIS show. I give the film 3 stars.

 

Return to Cabin by the Lake (DVD) – The sequel was released a year later but takes place a couple years later as a film crew is trying to film the story of Stanley and his “Garden of Flesh”. Stanley survives the first film and returns killing his way onto the set of the movie of his life as a second-unit director where he is trying to have the story told correctly. The movie centers more on more of his obsession as a writer is trying to get into Stanley’s head even he is believed dead to make the movie the way it should be. Bodies pile up and Judd Nelson is still pretty good as Stanley the serial killer but the sequel loses its luster the original had as I give it 2 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html or pick up a copy at Horror Realm July 24-26th, 2015 as Out of Print Dan and myself will have a table there! Go to www.horrorrealmcon.com for more details on the convention.

Horror Realm is coming my friends

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www.horrorrealmcon.com

We are a little less than two months away film fiends! A diverse lineup this time around shows Horror Realm is trying to be a little different and give something interesting to convention fans as you can see in the picture. If that wasn’t enough you will get to see some great vendors in Buzzworks (cool dude), T-shirt Joe (www.fastcustomshirts.com) and Gross Movie Reviews approved coolest dude on earth, several other vendors, authors, etc., including myself hanging with Out of Print Dan and selling our film Jagoff Massacre and my newest book “Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross”… See Yinz There!!!!

Horror Realm PopHorror Realm 2015

Gross Movie Reviews #349

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Gross Movie Reviews #349

 

By Tim Gross

 

Age of Tomorrow (DVD/SyFy Channel) – It is a cheap “Armageddon” meets “War of the Worlds”, so of course I had to see it but the real question is: Do you? I give it 1 star.

 

Mad Max: Fury Road (Theater) – What can be said about this amazing movie that hasn’t already been said. I know just thinking about the film gets me a high school boner but anyway it has been 30 years since the last sequel and things have changed script wise, casting wise, etc. But George Miller being undeterred by this process possibly put together the best movie sequel ever made? Oh yes I went there “Aliens”, “Terminator 2”, and “Dawn of the Dead” fans. I believe this film has entered that debate but that is for another time… Max now played by Tom Hardy, perfectly mind you is or has gone completely mad. He has flashbacks, he is afraid of the living and dead but yet there is still an ounce of humanity in him to help people against all odds with his life in the balance. After Max’s narration at the beginning of the film, insanity begins as Max is being chased, captured, escapes, captured again and becomes a blood bag (long story). After that you are introduced to Charlize Theron who apparently has a robotic arm of sorts and has her own plans driving the ‘war rig’ to a different destination. Through incredible stunts, car chases, death, and complete insanity Max rules and explains there is no hope. My best example of what this movie could be summarized is: Imagine George Miller goes I want $150 million dollars to make “The Road Warrior” on steroids! DONE! Toecutter is back, a blind man playing a guitar on top of a rig that shoots flames; the 660 HP police interceptor is back, Tom Hardy has eight lines in two hours of movie, old ladies can ride motorcycles and fuck up your ass from a distance, for the love of Mel Gibson and Tom Hardy this is the movie of 2015 hands down. Now for those of you that are complete asses that a) did not go, b) and the biggest problem claim the movie is 90% CG’d, c) think “Pitch Perfect 2” was a better choice… FUCK OFF! Now if you thought the film was 90% CG’d there is a good chance you are not reading this review or you are my friend at this point. Very few films get me wanting to argue the geek things of films but this film is my line in the sand of writing reviews. What does that mean? Well you can have the opinion that you didn’t like the movie, cool, I understand we can have an intelligent conversation about that shit. But your first line or two that comes out of your mouth is that its 80 or 90% CG’d, please do all of us a favor and stop existing so we have more air, fuel, and electricity for a little longer before the world does become a wasteland! The movie is so bad ass it gets 4 ½ out of 4 stars!  Thank you George Miller.

samurai_web

Samurai Avenger: The Blind Wolf (Blu-ray) – A man who is out with his family by the lake basically has his dream raped and tortured. Several years later a blind samurai is seeking the man, Nathan Flesher, who did this wrong. But the blind samurai must overcome several tests before he even gets in front of Nathan for possibly his final fight of his life. A film that was released in 2009 that is getting the proper treatment from is a fun homage of cinema that became in vogue for a lot of Americans during the late 80s and early 90s of tape trading. The fun flick also has oodles of extras for fans to pore over for many hours. Synapse as usual did a great job on the package and the movie is a must see for “samurai’ fans as to me at least it had the feel of “Six-string Samurai” if it helps? I give it 3 out of 4 stars and can be purchased at www.synapse-films.com .

 

Interzone (VHS/DVD-R) – A 1987 post-apocalyptic flick that stars a Bruce Abbott fresh off of “Re-Animator” playing a character named ‘Swan’ who may be the savior to some monk named ‘Panasonic’ and his friends who are trying to protect their treasure. Meanwhile a hot looking muscle bound woman wants that treasure and has failed several times to bust through the monk’s force field but knows it is weakening. So it’s up to Swan after his life is saved by Panasonic to stop these weirdos from killing all the monks and taking their treasure. There is a six-wheeler golf cart with cannon on it but it’s never used which is a big bag of bullshit. And if wondering I believe there is an out-of-print region 2 DVD floating around out there as I give it 2 ½ stars. Would have gotten 3 out of 4 stars if Bruce would have be shooting people with that cannon “Sonny Boy” style.

 

House of the Long Shadows (VHS) – A writer makes a bet for $20,000 he can write a manuscript in a haunted house in 24 hours and it would be called, “Midnight Manor”. Soon John Carradine, Vincent Price, Peter Cushing all show up for a family reunion of sorts knowing the house is being sold and the man buying it shows up and just happens to be Christopher Lee! Plus the family has a deep secret that has been hidden for 40 years. Great concept for 60s or 70s Hammer flick but this is 1983 and those crazy two guys that gave us a bunch of over the top 80s action flicks thought they could make it happen again. Like I said cool concept but even in 1983 let alone watching it now the film just seems out of place and kind of distorted. Any way worth watching just because of the cast as I give it 2 stars.

 

Shocking Dark (DVD-R/YouTube) – An 1989 Eye-talian flick that was directed by Vincent Dawn aka Bruno Mattei and was at one point titled “Terminator 2” is a combo of “Aliens” and “Terminator” with most of the popular scenes from James Cameron’s “Aliens” ripped off! Venice, Italy has become what is now called “Dead City” as experiments poisoned the water and a deadly cloud sits above the city not allowing humans to live there unless underground. But once contact with ‘Shelter 65’ is lost it is up too Operation: Delta Venice to go in for a rescue and hope it’s not a bug hunt? Scientists fucked up and now they are all mutating and attacking any live humans. All I know someone’s has got sued by 20th Century Fox and most likely by several other people as I give this weird greatness called “Shocking Dark” 2 stars.

 

Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People (DVD) – A Toho Production about a ship that gets caught up in a storm and shipwrecks on an island that seems to have no life. While searching for help the small crew finds another large shipwrecked vessel that they find food on and use it as shelter. They also find that scientists were on board doing experiments that eventually went wrong. Now, if you eat the mushrooms you trip your ass off then die or get attacked by mushroom monsters/zombies that make you eat the mushrooms. Weird, creepy, and a little hilarious describe this 1963 flick as I give it 2 ½ stars.

roller-blade

Rollerblade Warriors: Taken By Force (VHS/DVD-R/YouTube) – A very popular title on Rhonda Shear’s “USA Up All Night” stars Kathleen Kinmont who is a pretty blonde actress who became a favorite of horror fans after her roles in “Halloween 4” and “Bride of Re-Animator”. Here Miss Kinmont aka former wife of Lorenzo Lamas is a sword wielding Karin Cross who is protecting a creature or woman of hope or post-apocalyptic nun named Gretchen during their trip across the Wasteland. Gretchen is considered a ‘seer’. Important… Meanwhile some dude in a gas mask and bio-hazard outfit must get a virgin sacrifice for the radioactive creature that roams the refinery that keeps the wasteland town up and running. Reminds me a lot of “When Hell Comes to Frogtown”. The most hilarious part is there are warriors on roller skates trying to skate across the desert but when it becomes fight time they suddenly lose their skates in most scenes and they are foot fighting men and for that I am thankful so no one was getting hurt. I give this senseless but fun movie that only seems to exist because I do 2 ½ stars.

 

The Walking Deceased (DVD) – A brand new spoof of course on “The Walking Dead” series but incorporates every popular zombie flick most people ever heard of into the plot. A sheriff wakes from his coma looking for his kid Chris, I mean Carl, actually Chris and trying to find this group of people who are hiding in a mall away from zombies. Once they all meet up and they close down the zombie strip club they travel to a farm in hopes of finding salvation. First thirty minutes I was laughing a ton but as most spoofs go on they lose their steam and become your average spoof that you usually never revisit again. But just knowing this exists will most likely piss off “The Walking Dead” hardcore fans which is cool with me. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Butchered (DVD) – A convicted killer/Terrace Skinner aka bootleg Kurt Angle has escaped custody before being sent to the electric chair to death. Meanwhile bootleg Joe Estevez drops his younger brother and friends off at an island in North Carolina for one last weekend of partying before parting for college. Do yourself a favor for a drinking game: Watch this movie and chug a beer or take a shot when you hear a character say “Oh my god, we are all going to die” and you will be dead. I give it 2 out of 4 stars just for having two bootleg characters in an independent flick.

 

A Bothered Conscience (DVD) – The independent flick begins in 1974 Arkansas where a man has a child with him and shoots another hunter. Soon this becomes a regular thing. Speed up about 20 years and the man is an old guy who is still with the child who is a grown man and is teaching him about killing people who are trespassing. The local sheriff comes out bitching about the 41 unsolved incidents and the old guy doesn’t care but threatens the sheriff’s life. Old guy gets his head blown off after someone is seeking revenge for a relative and now it is up to the son to take care of business. Problem, the grown kid is haunted by those who have been killed by his father. The movie is well-produced but I found myself not nearly interested in it as much I should have been? Different plot or structure it may have kept my interest but it did show the filmmakers have talent or at least an idea of what they want to do and that’s awesome in my book as I give this flick 2 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.midnightreleasing.com .

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html or pick up a copy at Horror Realm July 24-26th, 2015 as Out of Print Dan and myself will have a table there! Go to www.horrorrealmcon.com for more details on the convention.

To help celebrate the new Mad Max movie this weekend my book is on sale!!!

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http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Click on the link and its 10% off from now until Sunday night 7pm as I celebrate the new Mad Max flick so take advantage of the sale now at lulu.com

 

Wrath of Gross color

 

Gross Movie Reviews #347

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Gross Movie Reviews #347

 

By Tim Gross

 

Future Kick (DVD) – It’s the year 2025 and Roger Corman has no budget as usual but have people put together a fun futuristic sci-fi flick starring Don “The Dragon” Wilson, Meg Foster, and Chris Penn. Wilson is the last of the cyborgs who are being hunted down by authorities who helped put the world back in order after the apocalypse and all the rich people moved to the moon. When Meg Foster’s famous computer programmer husband goes back to earth and dies a horrible death, Foster goes to investigate. Oh wait… Fuck you it’s all part of a virtual reality program! Wait “Total Recall”, “Brainscan”, “Wisdom”… you get the picture as I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

 

Big Bad Wolf (DVD) – A mad mess of a werewolf movie that stars “Full Moon” sensation Robin Sydney, Clint Howard for a cameo, David Naughton for a little more than cameo, the girl from Disney’s “Halloweentown” all pierced up, and “Three O’clock High’s” Richard Tyson as the werewolf version of Freddy Kruger. I didn’t know if I should be excited and have a horror movie orgasm or go find a copy of 1996’s “Bad Moon”… I give the ‘should have been better werewolf flick’ 2 stars.

 

Deliver Us From Evil (DVD) – Another ‘based on true accounts’ horror flick. The movie stars Eric Bana has a hard working detective who seems to be slipping away from his family that tries so hard to protect from the world he sees daily. But the detective comes across an odd case when he and his partner take a domestic disturbance call that turns out to be a lot more when he is called to the scene of several other weird events. Best way to describe the film is Exorcist-lite with cops. Worth a look my devil horror film fans as I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

Fantastic Voyage (DVD/YouTube) – A crazy mid-60s sci-fi flick about a surgical team that gets miniaturized inside a scientist’s damaged brain to fix a blood clot. Reason because he has the knowledge to stay miniature longer than 60 minutes. Donald Pleasance is crazy and awesome in the flick and look for James Brolin playing a technician in the film. I give it 2 ½ stars.

 

The Last Dinner (Vimeo) – A short film directed by Steve Lanthripp about a man (Jonathon) who is having dinner with a lovely lady who just happens to be dead and argues of smelling bad. I enjoyed the concept as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

 

American Scary (DVD) – A documentary that does an amazing job of chronicling horror/movie hosts throughout the years on TV. It explains its beginnings and its history with a lot of dedicated to hosts from Ohio. A really cool movie for film geeks who are under 25 that totally don’t understand this phenomenon back in the day and why some of us older folks love it. I would have enjoyed a little more Joe Bob Briggs or Elvira but also was surprised of no mention to Rhonda Shear and USA Up All Night. But I did get Chilly Billy so I was happy for that and give the documentary 3 ½ stars.

Ginger Squatch

Gingersquatch (DVD) – Not does this movie exists but it also comes with a little comic book called “Two Fisted Cthulhu Tales”! The film goes the way of the late Ray Dennis Steckler as the director’s cut is 15 minutes shorter than the original finished product. Thankfully Douglas A. Waltz had me in mind (maybe not?) when he wrote, edited, and directed this delightful off-shoot of Sasquatch. The story goes: a family of Gingers goes camping and one of the young ones get lost and is picked up Sasquatches to take care of. But that changes when the military was able to track down the child and try to research him. But since he really didn’t have anything to offer mankind the government sets him up with a house where he is lazy, eats salty snacks, drinks beer in Michigan… Kalamazoo! You only know of the location because of the old arcade game “Rampage”, oh yeah that’s just me. But anyway after someone mentions beef jerky “Gingersquatch” loses his temper, kills several ninjas, and bangs a woman who has a redheaded kid the next day! Oh the movie is bad, no doubt but I loved every minute of it and for that I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Mutantis

Mutantis (DVD) – The DVD cover looks like the old school 50s and 60s giant rubber monster flicks I seen as a youngster. The film revolves around a legend about a monster/bigfoot that haunts the woods after a power plant was built on top of an old burial ground according a to a drunken Indian dude at a small fruit stand. Let’s not forget the film opens with a narrator explaining toxic waste and how it could have caused this mutation or monster or Mutantis! But Father Joy hell bent on discovering this creature or whatever it is takes his family on a camping trip to Possum Valley to meet a young man and his wife to help him track this thing and become famous. One thing Father Joy and others were not counting on in this 60s theme inspired B-movie is the monster/Mutantis wanting to have sex with all humans, male or female. Oh by the way according to the film only homosexuals’ masturbate?  The movie goes out of its way to give you that old school B-movie experience with the clothes, the dedicated acting, the dubbing, incest, and one awesome looking creature. I have to hand it to Kelly Fitzgerald aka Globus Walt Jr. and crew for making a movie that reminds me of watching classics like “Frogs”, “The Creeping Terror”, “Toxic Zombies” on late night TV. If the movie isn’t enough the DVD has some fun extras that include short films “Heavy Metal Weekend Part One and Two” and “Mime” which worthy of watching soon as you are done watching “Mutantis”. Outside of the excess of monster rape scenes I totally enjoyed the flick as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars and yes the monster rape is essential to the plot! You can find out more or pick up the film at www.direwitfilms.com .

Mutant Strain

Dead Days (You Tube) – Haven’t heard from independent filmmaker Chuck Skibo for a while but he is back and focused as this a first of many projects in the works for this talented dude. This short film stars independent actress talent Katie Stewart fighting for her life in this quick story of what’s worse the zombies or humans? I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars and you can watch at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzM_1NP82IQ , Mutant Strain Pictures is back and that makes me happy.

Grosshouse

Grosshouse (YouTube) – No folks it wasn’t inspired by me or a drunken rant from Ed Quillin it’s a feature length film from Alex Powers and Doug Waugh. The movie plays out like a mish-mash of John Waters was 21 again, had no money, and decided he wanted to make a no budget film on digital video in 2002. What does that mean? The film is a little weird… possibly a little too weird for my taste. That isn’t a bad thing it just means I may not be intended audience. But when 23 year old Marty who is inspiring himself to become a big time Hollywood writer his mom/dad/you make your choice here, constantly verbally abuses him and makes Marty bury the bodies his mom calls clients. It tends to work against Marty. Marty is a dreamer and snaps when mother has had enough of Petunia after Petunia tells Marty that they are siblings and must have sex in the shower. Once Petunia is dead Marty plots his revenge against his mama. It’s odd, it’s a little disgusting to some most likely but again like I said I am not its intended audience but thank the filmmakers for allowing me to view it as I give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find out more about “Grosshouse” here:  https://www.facebook.com/grosshousemovie .

 

Lake Placid vs. Anaconda (SyFy Channel/DVD) – The movie most likely shouldn’t have been made, but it was and I watched it so go fuck yourselves the high and mighty insert your name here horror websites that spent more time than I ever thought they would bashing an easy target of a movie but praise “Paranormal Activity 29”. Yeah its bad but that is the beauty of these endless sequels that help pay for Robert Englund’s union dues for the year, Yancy Butler’s comeback, and still do not know why Corin Nemec loves doing these projects but hey more power to you brother. Corin is approaching double digits of SyFy channel flicks for those that are counting?  So guess what the crocs have escaped again from Black Lake and its electric barrier and looking for their next meal until some dumb ass again was experimenting with another anaconda. Like I said it’s horrible but it gives me an excuse to sit in on a Saturday night, drink a six pack and have a pizza! I give it 1 star.

 

Bad Biology (Blu-ray/DVD combo) – There is David Lynch, David Croenberg, and even John Waters and these filmmakers can be bizarre but the man/filmmaker who in my mind has a stranglehold on this title is Frank Henenlotter. The mere mention of “Basket Case” makes the hardcore horror movie fans smile. If “Frankenhooker” is spoken even by accident you can always hear in the distance from someone “Wanna Date?” So when I finally sat down to watch this oddity from the mastermind of bizarre I already knew what I was getting myself into and all I can say is the only things that could have made this film better is an appearance from ‘Elmer’ or Duane Bradley. The film is about a photographer named Jennifer and she has sexual issues or a bad vagina that she was born with. Bottom line she has trouble falling in love until she meets a man named Batz whose house is used for a photo shoot of Jennifer’s and by mistake learns his sexual secret of having a monstrous penis that has a mind of its own. Sexual organs made for each other in a love story that could only come from the mind of Frank Henenlotter. It’s bizarre but beautiful and fucking hilarious as Mr. Henenlotter proves he still owns the title and thank god for that. Because we also get the talents of Gabe Bartalos and Al Magliochetti that produce the amazing bizarre effects for the flick! I give this truly bizarre beauty 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

 

Gross Movie Reviews #346

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Gross Movie Reviews #346

 

By Tim Gross

 

Long Weekend (Blu-ray) – A lesser known Australian film about things for a couple that go bad, like “Day of the Animals” of bad. I tracked the film down after a guest on our podcast “Bloodbaths and Boomsticks” wanted to cover and talk about it. So if you are asking yourself why I am reviewing this again it’s because Synapse Films has released a restored Blu-ray version of the flick. This couple who apparently are a half step from divorce have ventured out to a beach near some woods for a camping getaway to maybe try and patch things up? As fixing the relationship goes downhill quickly strange occurrences and odd behavior from the animals cause tensions between the couple to worsen. The film has radio reports and a TV report that might lend a little bit of a clue on what might be the problem but the film never directly points out this is the reason for the ‘weirdness of the animals’ or strange occurrences. The 1978 film can drag a little at certain points but has a great ending that makes up for it. Besides it’s from Australia, all their films should be given at least one if not two chances. The Blu-ray looks exceptional as usual from Synapse Films. The Blu-ray also has an audio interview with star John Hargreaves and a commentary from the producer and the cinematographer on the film. Wasn’t able to access the commentary for some reason as I am sure it’s a glitch but that doesn’t matter as this movie is enhanced with the restored version on Blu-ray as it relies on imaginary to tell a lot of the story. Give the film 2 out of 4 stars but overall package 3 out of 4 stars and is available at www.synapse-films.com . (Checked out a few other critics reviews of the Blu-ray screener package and no one had the same problem as I did so like I said “a glitch.”)

Edge

Edge of the Axe (DVD) – A somewhat bearable Spanish slasher film (but actually filmed mostly in California) about a person in a white mask hacking people all over town. There is no real good reason why they are but you will question why you are watching a movie about a computer guy trying to get with an underage girl most of the flick while pieces of people are being found nightly. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Junior (VHS/DVD-R) – I believe it is available on DVD but someone gave me their copy just for the mere reason they did not want it existing in their house! And for that reason I had to watch the 1985 unknown classic to most horror fans about two women who have been released from prison and decided they want to start a new life. A new life that means the two girls got to breathe new life into an old marina in a small southern town on a river. But a weird guy named “Junior” refuses to leave the girls alone. Very corny and hilarious especially the scenes of Junior talking to his mother on the front porch of their home makes the film at least watchable or at least for this horror movie fan as I give it 2 stars.

 

Bad Kids Go to Hell (DVD) – With a title like this I had to find a reason to watch it eventually and I did… Pittsburgh Penguins were pissing me off so I put this title on to see what Judd Nelson and Ben “Farscape” Browder had to do with it. It all comes down to a curse an Indian put on some rich people or rich kids and their school after dying or was it all a set up? You decide, all I know there is a weird scene of a nerdy redhead doing a strip tease in the middle of class. Horror movie… check! Nerdy redhead… checks twice. The movie isn’t your most interesting horror film to come down the pike but keeps it worth watching just to see where Judd Nelson’s character fits in? I give it 2 stars.

 

Invasion of the Pod People (DVD) – Apparently Asylum Entertainment tried to do an erotic remake of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”. Leave the porn alone and stick with the Sharknados, Gatoroid, Giant Octopuses, Corin Nemac, and chubby tatted up Tiffany or at least for me as I find that stuff much more entertaining than your poor attempt of a Misty Mundae resurrection. I give it crap because it was crap so let’s move on.

Final-Executioner-Front2

The Final Executioner (DVD) – The apocalypse has happened and rich people have hunters or executioners hunt down people or targets they consider expendable material. Its Eye-talian, it’s dubbed in English and all it was missing was Fred Williamson! So grab your six packs and enjoy this beautiful post-apocalyptic crap for what it is as a man seeks revenge against the executioner he escaped several days before. I give the film 2 ½ stars just for the cheese oozing off this flick.

 

Clown (DVD) – Released in the UK first and not entirely sure why but I finally got to see this Eli Roth presents project. The film starts off innocently enough where a man tries to come up with a solution for his son’s birthday party when the clown is double booked. The man finds an old clown costume in the house he is trying to fix up and sell and uses it to save the day at the party. Little does he know life would change as he wakes the next morning with the clown costume still on and cannot remove it? There isn’t a zipper. He even goes as far as trying to cut it off with an electric saw! He fails. Soon his wife is concern as she doesn’t believe him; he is getting crap from the father-in-law, and goes back to the house to search for clues on what this costume actually is. He calls this number for old costumes and meets a man who begins to tell him a story of the costume being made of demon hair and skin. And then he is almost beheaded. But also begins to fill a hunger, a hunger that can only be met by eating five young children. It gets radically disgusting and uncomfortable which makes the film awesome. Now, I am not going bat shit nuts for the film like some movie critics but I have to say it is nice to see something old become new again in horror. So move over Pennywise as I give this flick 3 stars and won’t be surprised there is a sequel in the works not too far in the future.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Gross Movie Reviews #345

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Gross Movie Reviews #345

 

By Tim Gross

 

Gingerclown (DVD) – A film made in Budapest but takes place in Hollywood, California 1983 where a group of local high school teenagers are hanging out behind the famous Hollywood sign and they call themselves “the Wolfpack”. Of course the lonely nerd named Sam or Tully as the “Wolfpack” calls him rides by on his bike and they make him an offer to be a part of their gang “The Wolfpack”. Sam takes them up on the offer for the mere reason he likes the cute blonde Jenny. They go to an old abandoned amusement park and is told he has two hours to enter the park and come back with something to prove his effort. The strange old place has a history of mysterious deaths and fires and hasn’t been open since the 60s. Once Sam enters, Jenny follows and the two are faced with odd evil things from an evil tea kettle to an evil pile of crap, something that makes you think this flick was lost from the Charles Band’s Full Moon collection over the years. What it comes down to is the park is full of expelled demons from hell that prey upon humans that enter. It has the cast of famous genre favorites in: Lance Henriksen, Tim Curry, Brad Dourif, and Michael freakin Winslow but they are all voice overs for the characters in the park. A fun concept for a horror flick but just never reaches its potential and for that I give it 2 stars.

 

The Scribbler (DVD) – Our film begins with a woman named Suki being interviewed or interrogated by a doctor and a detective to figure out what just happened at this woman’s mentally unstable halfway house/apartments I guess. The film is based on a comic book I never heard of but sure T-shirt Joe Garcia from www.fastcustomshirts.com would know?  The film is a little ridiculous, weird, dark, and very interesting. But you need to stick with this oddity as it takes about twenty minutes to get going as it lays out some plot for you to dig into and understand the subject matter better. But Suki tells a story of how crazy people in this building are being killed and the doctor and detective know that Suki suffers from multiple personalities herself. But without trying too much more of giving the film away Suki is given an electrical device from her that is supposed to help her get rid of her multiple personalities one by one. From there it becomes a lost project from the mind of David Croenberg if possible? It stars the likes of Gina Gershon, Eliza Dushku, Billy Campbell, and Michelle Trachtenberg and no doubt will be on end of the year list for best movies of 2015 as I give it 4 stars.

 

Apocalypse Pompeii (DVD) – Asylum Entertainment once again proves nothing is off limits and tries to capitalize on the big budget piece of crap called “Pompeii” that littered theaters last year. Adrian Paul’s wife and daughter go visit the ruins and the volcano erupts and only Adrian Paul and the brilliant John Rhys-Davies can save them. Its unwatchable crap but I still watched it as I give it 0 stars.

Razor Days

Razor Days (DVD) – A long awaited project that has been years in the making from Mike Watt and Happy Cloud Pictures is making its way out on the festival circuit. The film stars Debbie Rochon as Jessamay, a disfigured woman who has survived a horrible attack of rape, torture, and cannibalism. She approaches Anita (Amy Lynn Best) who helps women defend themselves and takes interest in Jess when Jess tells her story. But Jessamay believes if she escaped then there has to be other survivors? Survivors that need to be found as they got to feel the same way she does and that is to find these horrible things or men and wipe the earth clean of them. With Anita’s help they find a woman named Reina across the state and together they become fast friends and soon share the wanting of closure and no longer of being haunted by their horrible past. This new project from Happy Cloud Pictures is much different project you are used to seeing as they go dark, very dark and miserable. The flick feels a little like “Ms. 45”, “I Spit on Your Grave”, and “They Call Her One Eye” but walks that fine line of not going too far extreme and have Debbie Rochon possibly give her best performance since “American Nightmare”. The film also has appearances from Michael Varrati, Alan Rowe Kelly, and a few other Happy Cloud Pictures regulars. As much as I really enjoyed the deep darkness and grit of this film for me at least it felt like something else was going to happen but didn’t? But do not let that stop you from checking out Mike Watt’s darkest film to date as I give it 3 out of 4 stars. For more info on the film go check out:    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Razor-Days/125372234198963?fref=ts .

 

Starry Eyes (DVD) – A young woman named Sara who is a struggling actress believes she is meant to be a big star and will eventually do anything to get there. After another rejection for the film “The Silver Scream” she takes out on herself but the people see this and believe she could be right for the part if she is willing… At first Sara turns it down but soon runs back even if it means sucking an old dude’s wiener! Even with that she must complete the transformation. Predictable flick but has some great gore but not enough for me to want to revisit the film anytime soon as I give the film 2 stars.

 

The Pyramid (DVD) – It is 2013, Cairo, Egypt, and archeologists may have stumbled upon the biggest discovery ever as they find a pyramid under the surface of the desert. Something that may predate any of the ancient pyramids. Excited to investigate it all the plug has been pulled on them as war has broke out inside Cairo. Forced to pack up the archeologists and the camera crew that is following them quickly make their way into the tomb/pyramid to investigate soon understanding they are in a maze that was constructed to keep something in? I am always a sucker for this subject matter as a horror movie but sometimes it fails and this is one of those times. It’s not horrible but with a film like “The Descent” still fresh in many horror movie fan’s minds you cannot help but comparing the two. Interesting horror film that just taken the wrong turn of how it could have developed into something far cooler as I give it 2 stars.

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Pain Shack (DVD/YouTube) – Now mind you fine folks the film I watched is a rough cut that has since has a couple new scenes added and deleted in the official DVD that will be available. Anyway the film is made by the duo of Marissa and Alex Murphy. No, that isn’t Robocop Alex Murphy before you ask. But the film takes you on a long spiraling dark ride with the character Alex who believes his dream is to review music. To do this he studies YouTube and its users to come up with his own gimmick the “Noodledroop show”. In the process Alex becomes obsessed with a movie reviewer Ricky Shores and becomes abusive in his relationship with Marissa so he can achieve his ultimate goal of becoming a YouTube sensation as his followers grow or do they in this dark horror/comedy. The film runs a little long for its subject material in my opinion but I really enjoyed all the performances by all in the film and really enjoyed how Alex and Marissa filmed their characters because I believe I know some of these people currently or of at least met them on occasions at several conventions and for that kids I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. For more info on where you can purchase a copy of this film or see where its playing at next check out www.facebook.com/rickyshoresingstheblues .

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Gross Movie Reviews #344

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Gross Movie Reviews #344

 

By Tim Gross

 MurderCollectionV1

The Murder Collection Volume One (DVD) – A film from the famous Toe Tag Pictures aka Fred Vogel and crew. The best way to describe this film is the new generation’s “Faces of Death”. Yes indeed if you are over the age of 35 you remember the days of these crazy videos that the shelves in the early days of Video Home Movies. Now that I am done remembering the old days, let’s talk about this sick entry into the Toe Tag catalog. An unknown man named Balan has been taken into custody for hosting a web show that shows violent footage from around the world. This collection of violent acts was just a taste of what Balan posted before being arrested. Fred, Shelby, and crew once again test the limits of violent content and if you the viewer can take it? Another great project from some talented folk as I give the flick 3 out of 4 stars and you can purchase this fine flick at www.toetag.biz .

 

The Jitters (VHS/DVD-R) – A lame ass gang is trying to take over Chinatown, one store owner at a time. Well leave it to good old James Hong to be storing vampire Asians in his basement who are not ready for the afterlife since they have unresolved issues. But apparently this very lame gang of criminals since it’s rumored the one store owner Mr. Lee, who they killed, has over a $100,000 stashed somewhere. So the gang makes it their top priority to harass Lee’s niece and future husband for the money. Oh I forgot the Asian undead hop also! The off the wall flick makes for a great double feature with “Robo Vampire”. This film so bad it’s good especially when it looks like they just told James Hong to act like his crazy old character from “Big Trouble in Little China”. I give the film 2 ½ stars.

 

Demon Warp (VHS/DVD-R) – Sasquatch is a mother fucking alien that crash landed over a hundred years ago and terrorizes a location that looks like it was stolen from “Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter”! And it just so happens to star George Kennedy, Billy Jayne, and the beautiful Michelle Bauer… 3 stars just for whoever thought this was a good movie idea!

 

Dead Body Man Chronicles (DVD) – A woman leaves her kid with drunken crazy ass grandpa while she goes to work. So grandpa decides it’s not only time for the kid to start drinking but tell him the story of the world’s greatest serial killer, ‘Willie’… and Willie is a chicken fucker! But the point is Willie’s life was screwed from the beginning when his stripper mom gave birth to him while stripping and her water breaks all over her customers. Willie knows he is screwed up but finds a home with some crazy people for a while who somehow understand him which eventually leads Willie getting into a fight with a dude in a chicken suit that leads to butt sex. It is the most random and hilarious serial killer film I have ever witnessed. For that I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Dead Kansas

Dead Kansas (DVD) – What once started as a short web series turned into a full fledge film or web series parts put together out on limited edition DVD. The film focuses on a father and daughter Emma in the Midwest who is just trying to live life the best they can since the zombie plague aka “the rottens” began years ago. Their neighbors or nemesis Jebediah and crew spend most of the film trying to kidnap Emma as they claim they want to begin “repopulating”. After Emma’s father is injured during the aftermath of a twister she spends her time on the run and trying to find a doctor who may have a cure for her father before he turns into a ‘rotten’. But the intriguing thing about the film is filmmaker and writer Aaron K. Carter doesn’t flood his film with cheap zombies but gives you the zombie, sorry, the rotten’s point of view when attacking and searching for flesh. A very cool little independent flick that was shot in California and nowhere the Midwest and also had a little help from great cameos in Irwin Keyes, “American Horror Story’s” Ben Woolf, and the talented and cute Juliette Danielle. Folks this flick is worth tracking down for the purchase and support of Aaron K. Carter as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. And yes they do admit there is two different actresses playing the character Emma, it’s called “limited time in the world of independent filmmaking” and I totally understand. Find out more info at: https://www.facebook.com/deadkansas?fref=ts . You can also now view it on Amazon Instant Video: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00U143XLI

 

Night Wars (Laserdisc/DVD-R) – Another Dan Haggerty flick that has David A. “I made Sledgehammer” Prior directing a story about two guys who are having nightmares of their days in Vietnam. And their dreams or nightmares are becoming more real every time they sleep as they are haunted by a buddy they left behind and a douche bag traitor that wants to torture them every time they fall asleep. Great, fun, crap that has one of those dream within a dream endings as I give it 2 stars just for the two dudes shooting up their apartment from the bed and couch!

 

Wild Country (DVD) – A lesser known horror film from the UK in 2005 that is about a wolf creature/werewolf. The story begins with a teenager giving birth in a hospital and giving the child up for adoption. Six weeks later she is out with her youth group going on an overnight hike. Faced with her ex-boyfriend showing she begins to rage and kick him in the beanbag. Once anger passes and the group tries to settle for the night they are scared by the local scary farmer dude then begin to hear a baby crying in the distance. Curious the girl and her ex investigate and find a baby in the ruins of a castle along with several dead bodies with their throats ripped out. The kids trying to do the right thing pick up the baby and bring it back to the camp site but now begin to hear scary unknown sounds like a monster is stalking them. The film keeps the plot simple, interesting, and bloody… Plus it does not hurt it’s a horror flick from over the great big body of water and that usually means good things. I give the killer wolf flick 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Gross Movie Reviews #343

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Gross Movie Reviews #343

 

By Tim Gross

 

Shark Assault (DVD) – The movie is also known as “Shark Week” and “Shark Island” and had a premiere on SyFy Channel that I somehow missed?  A man seeks revenge against several individuals who got his son killed and he will have them play a ‘survivor-type’ of game with sharks… and it stars Yancy Butler! If anything its hilarious just to watch a shark do its best “Tremors” imitation. I give the flick 1 star.

Axeman-of-Henderson-County-poster-212x300

The Axeman of Henderson County (DVD) – A newer independent slasher/serial killer flick from filmmaker Larry Parmiter has the likes of wrestling legend Hacksaw Jim Duggan and former college football star Major Harris grace the screen in his flick. The story takes place in a small rural town where a person has taken upon themselves to begin killing the townsfolk or storefront owners with an axe. But each time the killer does not leave many clues for the sheriff and also mocks them with letters. The film suffers from several minor issues; it has that first project type of feel? Which I had a chance to discuss with Mr. Parmiter at the recent Horror Realm convention including a horrible story of an editor that really wasn’t sure on the editing part but got paid for it. Larry has a good head on his filmmaking body and understands what mistakes were made and is excited to not only try to correct them in a remastered version of the film some time down the road but considers it a lesson learned for the next project. And hearing that Larry’s next project has me intrigued? In the meantime help out another cool independent filmmaker and check out the Facebook page for this slasher/serial killer flick: https://www.facebook.com/axemanofhendersoncounty . Besides I wanted to see this movie either way just for the mere fact that Hacksaw Jim Duggan plays the mayor. I give the flick 2 out of 4 stars.

Tinnitus

Tinnitus (DVD) – A pretty creepy short film about a love triangle that has gone bad. Filmmaker Bradley Walkowaik did a great job of building a lean, mean, and suspenseful short film that will have you asking what’s next. I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars. Find out more about the filmmaker here: https://www.facebook.com/brad.walkowiak?fref=ts .

 

Destroyer (VHS/DVD-R) – With this unknown 1988 flick (at least unknown to me anyway) I seen the box art late last year and knew I needed to see this horror flick. It is an 80s wet dream of a horror movie: Lyle Alzado as the killer or undead killer, Deborah Foreman as the cute stunt girl, Anthony Perkins as the director of the woman-in-prison flick, and Clayton Rohner who was the guy in “April Fool’s Day” that seem to be banging his girlfriend the whole film. Ivan Moser (Lyle Alzado) is on death row for murdering two dozen people and is going to be electrocuted. When it happens, power goes out, riot begins, and Moser’s body is never recovered. 18 months later a film production of a women’s prison movie is ongoing in the former prison that held Moser and people are starting to show up dead. All Moser wants is to be alone with Malone (Foreman’s character). Even though most deaths happen off screen there is one hell of a death scene with Moser killing someone with a jackhammer that is somewhat featured on the cover of the movie! When I talked about it on our Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast I gave it 3 stars but I got to amp it up a little and give it 3 ½ stars just because it has everything you look for in an 80s slasher flick. I do not remember anything about this flick even with “Shocker”, “The Horror Show”, and even “Prison” getting a lot of press at the time of this film. But glad I found it to enjoy its Lyle Alzado greatness!

 

Psycho Pike (DVD) – A lumber yard on the lake is dumping illegal waste into the lake causing many fish to die except one… The Pike! It is mutating into a large fish that has a taste for humans. Two couples go to their beachfront cabin on the lake to enjoy the summer but soon are in for a rude awakening as sickly fish begin to show up along with the police looking for dead bodies. “Psycho Pike” has it all as it’s the cheaper version of “Frankenfish” and beats it by 15 years! This B-movie greatness was so much fun I watched it two days in a row as I give it 3 ½ stars for its entertainment value!

My Zombie Flick

My Zombie Flick – (YouTube) – A short film that deals with zombies and their fans from a man who I believe gave us “Mini-Golf Massacre” and for that I am grateful. But the short film mocks “The Walking Dead” and its fans and also has a fun time mocking no budget films that hold zombie auditions. If you cannot laugh at yourself then what’s the point is what I got out of this fun mocking look at an over bloated zombie genre that I give 3 out of 4 stars as Bobby Keller declares his film to end or kill it all in zombie films. My favorite scene is a tie between the girl at the auditions who claims to be from Pittsburgh, Pa., and the two zombie movie makers arguing with two women at a bar about “The Walking Dead”. Check it out at: https://www.facebook.com/myzombieflick .

 

The Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters (DVD) – A great old school monster/horror film from 1954 that I bet influenced many filmmakers and monster films of the 60s, 70s, and even early 80s. The story revolves around two men in the spirit of Abbott and Costello comedy try to seek out the landowners of a lot nearby their friend’s diner that could be used for a baseball diamond for the neighborhood kids. Little the Bowery boys know is the owners is a couple of crazed scientists, a very pretty but curious woman, and a murderous old lady who all have plans for the two men that all end in death. When you watch it you will draw a lot of parallels to the famous TV shows “The Munsters” and “The Addams Family”. I give this fun old school monster flick 3 stars.

 

Zombie Killers: Elephant’s Graveyard (DVD) – If there was a middle ground between the zombie storylines of the dramatic TV series “The Walking Dead” and George Romero’s “Dawn and Day of the Dead”, “Zombie Killers” may have found it? Doc is a man trying to keep a community together during a zombie apocalypse where walls have been built, an army or people called ‘zombie killers’ are trained to protect, and new laws are enforced to help protect those who live behind the walls. Many try to live life best they can as others wonder is there an answer or reason for the walking flesh eaters. As tensions mount inside the community between the religious fanatics and a man named Rory that many in the community do not trust there is a problem as two people captured from another safe-zombie free location come to warn the community of a zombie horde in the millions about to descend on the community. If you can get past the CGI zombie deer and fish you will most likely enjoy this bloody but dramatic at times zombie flick. If anything you will enjoy Dee Wallace playing the usual worrying mom character, Billy Zane being the great Billy Zane, and Miss Felissa Rose in her best character in my opinion since “Sleepaway Camp” where she plays the community’s religious nut as you can easily seeing her as a cult leader in many other films. We are talking she has found her Jeffrey Combs or Tim Thomerson role here folks. The zombie film doesn’t drag, gives enough blood and gore for nerds like me, and gives you an interesting storyline for the mainstream “Walking Dead” fans, especially for the filmmaker pointing to fracking being the cause of the zombies rising… I give the flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars and a huge thank you to Miss Felissa Rose.

 

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