Gross Movie Reviews #359

Posted on September 27, 2015 by grossmoviereviews

Gross Movie Reviews #359

By Tim Gross

Marley’s Revenge: The Monster Movie (VHS/DVD-R) – A low budget not so fun mess is the best way to describe this oddity. Apparently some dumb rednecks of a coastal town keep track of drug dealers and kill them. The rednecks mistaken two guys for drug dealers, they are actually trying to rescue relatives of the one from their native country… Details are scarce in this flick but what you need to know after a voodoo priest’s wife is killed by rednecks he brings the dead back to life and boring hilarity ensues if that is possible? I give the flick 2 stars.

Spasms (DVD) – Peter Fonda plays a parapsychologist who gets wrapped up in some zany snake cult in 1982. The movie doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but don’t let that stop you from witnessing a giant snake killing people on a college campus. And there is snake vision of course always an added bonus feature. I give the weird flick 2 stars.

The Boy (Chiller Channel/Theater) – An almost two hour set up of a man and his child living and trying to keep an old motel alive. Not much goes on there and not much business but a slow burn of watching a boy progress into a murderer is your thing? This is your movie. Not great, not horrible, just more disappointing for me as I thought there would be more to it after watching the trailers and Chiller Channel having a good track record. I give it 2 stars as I most likely will never revisit this flick.

Willow Creek (DVD) – So apparently Bobcat Goldthwait saw “Blair Witch Project” and decided he could use that movie concept for Bigfoot. Did it work… not really? I was into the couple being excited by trying to go to the original site of the Bigfoot footage that was captured in 1967 and trying to gather their own footage. But you lost me when yinz decided to set up a camera in a tent for 10 to 15 straight minutes pointing to the couple and just having sounds being made. Not giving away the ending to any that is interested but my “Blair Witch” reference most likely already has. It just seemed like another bad extended trailer for a “Paranormal Activity” movie? Bobcat I respect you dude but please go get into another “Police Academy” reunion movie sir. I give this flick 1 star.

Killer Party (Vimeo) – A group of filmmakers that go by the name “FuckYeah1990s” have made a short film and using a crowd funding website to possibly make the short into a feature length horror film. A masked skateboarder goes on a murderous rampage in a town where many hate skateboarders, make friends pay for Taco Bell, but they love their ‘Shaq Fu’ video game. I’m in! I laughed my ass off at the slaughter and enjoyed the humor of the short film. It reminded me of a younger Rick Fusselman and DSK-Productions and I could not get enough of those guys as I loved their independent films. So I give this project 3 out of 4 stars and wish the group lots of luck with the feature and hope to see it! More details go to: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/killer-party-feature-film#/story

Atari: Game Over (DVD) – A fun nerdy documentary about what ever happened to the Atari 2600 console and why the game E.T. killed it… supposedly. Not too long ago this story popped up on all the social media sites about where Atari may have dumped all the returned and unbought E.T. games from the early 80s and all this hoopla about how it killed it. Sorry but if you were growing up in the 80s like I did this was interesting. I was an Atari kid and then Nintendo and it did seem like overnight Atari 2600 disappeared. This documentary explains what actually happened and why while documenting some video game nerds going around a desert dumping area digging up garbage looking for the games. Or just finding mercury-laced pigs! Great documentary and even entertaining if you were not a kid of the 80s as I give it 3 stars.

My Brother Has Bad Dreams (VHS/DVD-R) – The 1974 film is known to most fans as “Scream Bloody Murder” but don’t get it confused with the 1973 film of the same title which could explain the title change to begin with. But our little weird film is about a young man named Karl who you learn is mentally handicapped. This happened when he was a child and witnessed his father killing his mother. Now Karl tries to pass the time fishing and bathing naked at the lake while his sister tries to figure out bills. Now this isn’t when Karl is having weird dreams that affect him to start talking to a mannequin and calling it his mother in a Norman Bates kind of way! Creepy and weird in that after school 70s TV special kind of way until Karl loses complete touch with reality, snaps, kills his sister Anna and her new boyfriend as he believes it time for him to go on a road trip. The film has one of the more trippy and twisted endings that I have ever seen and not totally know what to make of it but give it credit it was different. I give the film 2 stars.

Manos The Hands of Fate (Blu-ray) – Well Manos has finally got the special treatment from the fine folks at Synapse Films. Now if it was warranted or not is up for debate as many declare this film to be the “worst film ever made”. I am sure “Troll 2” fans will not agree but that never stopped many horror hosts from making fun of this 1966 cult film for many years on their late night programs. That aside Synapse and company go to great lengths of putting together the most complete package for fans of this very odd cultish movie. By some chance you have never witnessed this wreck, carnage of so-called movie it is about a family getting lost on the backroads of Texas. They finally pull over to a strange cabin to be greeted by an even stranger character named “The caretaker”. There is no phone, no mechanic, and no nothing except the caretaker telling the couple “the master” will be pleased to see them. Weird shit keeps happening outside but never seen and then you have long scenes of Manos’ wives fighting and blaming the caretaker for problems. But if possible once the master becomes a part of the film it just gets weird, a little boring, and not sure exactly what they were trying to do with the film. For me I was never a fan but never said it was horrible because believe me I have seen much worse shit that people call a film. If you are a DVD-extra nerd and enjoy tidbits about weird horror movies like I do then you will be beyond pleased with the package Synapse has put together. And amazed what they have done with the picture quality of the movie itself. Entertaining stuff for a cultish film worth putting on your next shopping list as I give the movie 1 star but the full package 3 out of 4 stars. You can find the Blu-ray at www.synapse-films.com .

Mosquito (Blu-ray) – Thanks to Synapse Films for digging this low budget 1995 classic up! Alien aircraft crashes in the woods and a mosquito bites a dead alien. Poof! Giant mutated mosquitoes flying around the woods. We are introduced to this by a guy and his girlfriend hitting one on the road and it exploding to pieces. They limp the car to a motel and try to get it fixed meanwhile we are introduced to a bumbling park ranger trying to fog out the skeeters around the park. A dude who studies meteors and is searching the woods for the one that fell the other day. And Gunnar Hansen with a ponytail and two brothers who have missed their exit and now are lost in the middle of the woods. Soon all characters come together after a horrific night of giant mosquitoes killing all the campers in gory fashion. The survivors try to band together and save the world from mutating mosquitoes in this Gary Jones directed low-budget 50s inspired big bug flick. And it doesn’t hurt to Gunnar Hansen slicing and dicing mosquitoes with a big chainsaw! Synapse Films of course does their best in not only cleaning up the original film but giving fans a great documentary on the film and adding in a commentary and deleted scenes. I have always been a fan of this low budget monster bug movie and now seeing it 20 years later on Blu-ray may have improved the entertaining experience that much more as I am thankful for that. I give the movie 3 stars and the Blu-ray package 4 out of 4 stars. You can find the Blu-ray at www.synapse-films.com .

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html or pick up a copy at Cinema Wasteland October 2-4, 2015 as Out of Print Dan and myself will have a table there! Go to www.cinemawasteland.com for more details on the convention.

Gross Movie Reviews #358

Posted on September 16, 2015 by grossmoviereviews

Gross Movie Reviews #358

By Tim Gross

Dark Tower (VHS/DVD-R) – This 1987 snoozer also had a great poster like “Nomads” but also sucked out loud! The only thing going for this flick Michael Moriarty and I will watch anything that fucker shows up in just because… But anyway Mr. Moriarty plays a security adviser of a new building in Barcelona where people keep dying on a regular basis. It gets so bad they bring in a parapsychologist and Kevin McCarthy to perform an exorcism on the place. It seemed long when I watched it and not much happens till the end which isn’t enough to make me send out the 80s movie enthusiasts to look for it. I give the film 1 ½ stars and maybe should stay buried?

Halloween Hell (DVD/Vimeo) – Some college somethings come upon an evil statue thing that seems left over from a Full Moon flick made in the 2000s. A demon comes out of it and murders all of them. Years pass and it now it resides on set of a new reality Halloween show hosted by Dracula aka Eric Roberts. He brings in young, hot contestants that are supposed to stay or live through the next 24 hours, on Halloween of course, in this room with this evil statue/genie/demon doll thing. Whoever lives wins $100,000! There is buildup with strip poker and conversation until the thing comes to life again and begins slaughtering all who are trapped in the room with it while Dracula and viewers watch. I like the story concept because ever since I seen the film “The Running Man” I knew some of that TV shit they ran in the movie would be real someday cause society today is fucked. Now saying that it is very rare an independent or mainstream film is able to pull it off (Note: “Series 7” most likely pulled it off the best). I give kudos to filmmaker Ed Hunt having the great character actor Eric Roberts in as Dracula. But what turned me off the most from the film maybe the animation of the evil doll/demon/genie thing. I think I rather have seen a Killjoy rip-off or some attempt at creature suit more often than relying on the animation for the demon. But hey it’s a Halloween film and I am sure it will find an audience as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.

Hellbilly (DVD/Vimeo) – Filmmaker Massimilano Cerchi has dug up his independent 2003 release and has unleashed it to the horror masses again. The film is a lean, mean, gruesome tale of a masked machete wielding maniac who is on a murder spree in the countryside. When he isn’t busy jamming to some tunes in his trailer our masked fiend is busy fighting and killing blind people, tattooed nuns, and a stupid asshole with an unplugged chainsaw! No one is safe in this film. I have to hand it to Mr. Cerchi, the film looks like a rough draft and not the final product but made the film entertaining and not boring at all. It’s like Mr. Cerchi had an idea of an independent slasher for the ADD generation? No character development or story to be told… or buildup. Here’s the killer… Here are the victims… Gore!!! Jamming to tunes in the trailer… Credits! The film gets in and out before people have had their second slice of pizza and sometimes that can be a good thing. Hey the Polonia Brothers also worked on the flick. For that I give this flick 2 ½ out of 4 stars. Go here for more information on getting your copy of the film: www.facebook.com/hellbillythemovie?fref=ts

The Barrens (DVD) – A father decides it is a good idea to take his family into the woods for some camping to help him bond with his teenage daughter and get her to except the whole family. Soon the father is having problems with other campers telling shitty campfire stories and a boy is hitting on his daughter when she is supposed to be having fun with the family. And there is this issue of him believing the Jersey Devil is out there and following them especially when they decide to leave the campground and go deeper into the woods. As he goes insane and his family fights and pleads with him to calm down bodies begin to pile up and the family finds out answers they or you the viewer are not exactly prepared for. A very good take on the Jersey Devil legend and a great story driven film that makes this lesser known 2012 release worth seeking out on Netflix, On Demand, amazon to add to your collection as I give the film 3 stars.

Violent Shit 2: Mother Hold My Hand (VHS/DVD-R) – An independent German gore film about a German dude who is interested in some horrible murders from the 60s, its killer (Karl the Butcher), and its copycats. So the person he is interviewing tells him the real story of the masked killer hacking his victims to pieces and his mother directing his rage. Fun and hokey direct-to-video gorehound stuff for the whole family. I give it 2 stars.

Venus Fly Trap (DVD) – Massacre Video digs another independent forgotten gem from 1988 that involves punks, rich people, and perversion (a little bit). Three punks decide to rob a music store but become fascinated with a young rich/yuppie couple coming in and trying to steal stuff also. After some awkward dialogue the punks follow the rich couple to a small party where a lot more awkward dialogue happens, almost rape, drinking, a bad sex scene and then one of the yuppies are watching all on security cams. And that is when the blood and murder happen. It is a weirdo no-budget film that hardcore independent film fans will love to have a part of their collection. Thanks again Louis for finding these gems as I give the film 2 out of 4 stars and you can find more at www.massacrevideo.com .

The Legend of Six Fingers (DVD) – Apparently there has been some random animal deaths in a small town recently where it interests two film students Andrew and Neil. They go interviewing the locals playing on the local sasquatch-like legend trying to make a documentary for film class. Once inspired by some of the stories they set out into the woods where they are eventually met with moving bushes, footprints, and an appearance of “Six-fingers”. After the great photos they captured from their first trip they choose to make a second trip thinking they will hit the big time if they can bring back more evidence of the local legend actually existing. Think amateur ghost hunting but for Sasquatch but in this case Six-fingers. I don’t know if you could exactly classify this film in the ‘found footage’ category as no one finds their footage but I can see why some would put it in the that category. But for me the film has that innocent/Boggy Creek feel and it doesn’t linger too long running time wise. I enjoyed the ending that actually fits the plot of the film and thought the cameos of Lynn Lowry and Debbie Rochon only helped the plot and not hinders it. And it never hurts when you can have the talented Gregory Lamberson as a producer. And now thanks to Camp Motion Pictures/Bloody Earth Films you can the DVD loaded with extras as I give the movie 2 ½ out 4 stars.

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #356

Posted on August 24, 2015 by grossmoviereviews

Gross Movie Reviews #356

By Tim Gross

The Ghost Club: Spirits Never Die (DVD/Vimeo) – The lower budget film stars William Forsythe as the caretaker of a haunted mansion (The Wilkensen Mansion) that has over a hundred years of hauntings. He has opened it up for some paranormal experts who have a TV show and are always on the prowl to investigate the next haunted place. Yes, it is influenced by “Ghost Hunters” and “Ghost Adventures” shows but what makes this flick a little different and interesting is the group of experts is not exactly sure they believe in ghosts. But their perspective changes quickly when the group begins to find actual proof of spirits. But the spirits are not happy they are there and begin to terrorize the group. Soon one or more members go missing, get possessed, and even get the shit beat out of them. Usually I am all about taking a huge steamy poo on these flicks because most are useless. But director Hank Blumenthal makes great use of William Forsythe and thrives with the story at hand where most fail! For that I give this flick 3 out of 4 stars. You find out more about the film at: http://www.michaelmailerfilms.com and watch it on Amazon Prime.

Bigfoot the Movie (DVD) – This low budget flick is from filmmaker Jared Show who casts his Sasquatch film with Pittsburgh celebrities and “Pittsburgh Dad” himself Kurt Wootton. Kurt sets aside the character he is famous for to play one of the three main characters Chuck. The story centers around two of Ellwood City’s finest idiots Chuck and Dale who think they seen Bigfoot kill their friend. Eventually they involve the third main character Burl, an exterminator; to help them kill Sasquatch as no one in the small town believes them. While Bigfoot keeps decapitating the locals the only ones that seem to believe its Sasquatch is Chuck, Dale, and Burl as word has gotten out it is a bear or so it seems. Someone doesn’t want the truth to get out but the ‘three stooges’ want the creature dead. The film has quite a few laughs in it, has a great Burt Reynolds-style bar fight, and an amazing creature suit that makes the film well worth the watch no matter what your opinion is. The one thing that holds the film back is the ATV montage and the falling in love angle between Dale and the cute bartender about an hour in which stalls the laughs and the film in its tracks. But don’t let that stop you from enjoying a funny independent creature flick and one of the best Sasquatch costumes I have ever seen. I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars and can be found at www.jspictures.com or you can also check out www.bigfootthemovie.com .

Terminator: Genisys (Theater) – Oh the brilliant and horrible mess this film is… I love it in all its horrible mess of glory. Pretty much this time around when you watch the film you are asked to forget everything you know from past films… literally. As if you try to piece it all together it will make your head hurt. But this time around when Reese goes back to 1984 he is the one being saved by Sarah Connor and her bodyguard Arnold the Terminator who was sent back several years before that. It took a few movies but apparently Skynet got smarter (hahaha) and sent a Terminator back in time to kill Sarah Connor when she was like 8 years old… Huh? Exactly, so fuck it! You wanna see old ass Arnold fuck a lot of shit up and still be a bad ass Terminator? Bingo! You got it but remember don’t do hard drugs or drink too much while watching or you might think its 2017 and Skynet renamed itself. I give the mess 2 ½ stars.

Monkey Boy (VHS) – This British killer monkey movie had so much potential as it begins with a monkey experiment gone wrong that kills several people at The Jenner Clinic. But then it does its best to bore you to death or put you to asleep immediately as ‘Monkey Boy’ kills some kids’ parents in the countryside to play Crazy Eights with them. Go figure… I give it ½ a star.

Nomads (VHS/DVD-R) – Pierce Brosnan is anthropologist that has finally come back home from traveling all over the world but apparently some weird tribe spirits have followed him home. And now they embody some street punks that happen to be Adam Ant and Mary Woronov who haunt Pierce for most of the movie if you are able to follow this weirdo flick. The evil spirits are called Nomads in this non-exciting horror flick. I give the film 1 star.

The Believers (DVD) – This 1987 voodoo film has Martin Sheen and his kid watching his wife get electrocuted in the first five minutes of the film. It forces Martin Sheen to move across the United States to take up his practice as a doctor for cops who recently had to kill someone on duty. While Martin isn’t banging the holly hell out of his landlady his kid has been marked for sacrifice by some weird dude that was brought into the US to kill first borns so their fathers get rich, powerful, and live longer. The material the film is based on is a lot more interesting than the film itself but the film does have its moments. I give the flick 2 stars.

Blood on the Reel: The Guts behind Indie Horror (Google/DVD) – This latest project from Johnny Daggers is a documentary of sorts that shares interviews, stories, and trailers of many independent filmmakers. Mr. Daggers interviews too many to count filmmakers and film critics to tell their stories about how they got started, what influenced them, and their passion for the business. It takes you inside and also supports what a lot of these men and women do not think as a hobby as much of a dream come true and will do anything to keep making it a reality. Filmmakers such as Massimilano Cerchi, Glen Coburn, Mike O’Mahony, Craig Everett Earl give you the viewer, independent film enthusiast an inside look like never before. Of course Mr. Daggers makes himself the center of attention because it’s his project but he does a superb job of getting information out of these filmmakers that may have never been heard by a mainstream viewer. The film is an eye-opening experience even for an independent movie viewing vet like myself and gets me excited to see such a project feature so many great filmmakers the world has yet to know. I give Mr. Daggers’ well-made and well-cared for project 3 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find out more about the film at: www.sglentertainment.com and www.sglmoviestore.com

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Gross Movie Reviews #353

Posted on July 13, 2015 by grossmoviereviews

Gross Movie Reviews #353

By Tim Gross

Stone Cold (DVD) – A very underrated action flick from the early 90s starring none other than Brain Bosworth as Officer Hough who goes undercover for the FBI. Hough’s undercover name is John Stone and the reason the FBI was interested in the Boz is he gets the job done. But this gig might be too much as he must get tight with a murderous biker gang lead by the man, the myth, the legend Lance Henriksen and his insane cohort William Forsythe! He gets in by going to kill a traitor of the gang. Boz actually deports the guy and uses him for information but comes back to haunt him later in the film. A lot of fun B-movie action with a couple A-list actors that I believe has gotten better with age. So do yourself a favor if you are action movie fan and rewatch this flick as I give 3 stars and then after that watch the 30 for 30 special on ‘The Boz’ and it puts a lot of things in focus if you were ever a fan of ‘The Boz’?

Aftermath (DVD) – Edward Furlong and Monica Keena star in what I claim is a remake of the 80s TV movie “The Day After”. As people are effected by the nuclear bombs that have been dropped on US soil one day. Trying to ride it out in a basement eventually they are driven out by crazed survivors of the devastation. Sad, depressing, and a little realistic like “The Day After” but well worth the watch if you enjoy post-apocalyptic flicks? I give the depressing look at what may happen someday 3 stars.

The Dead 2: India (DVD) – The zombie saga continues as apparently the sickness has reached the slums of a major city in India and the story centers around an American engineer and his Indian girlfriend. Just finding out she is pregnant he is trying to make his way to her home to help her and her family to escape the outbreak. Not as intriguing as the first film but not as boring either but my main issue is they seem to mail in on the effects. Like or not the first film had some amazing effects work. I watched it mainly because it is a sequel but I wouldn’t make it a point to go out of your way to see it as I give it 2 stars.

Hell Baby (DVD) – A hilarious flick about a couple who buy a house that happens to be haunted, has Key from the Key & Peele show living in the duct work, and was a steal because it was in a bad neighborhood. Soon the couple realize that the baby that is coming a spawn from hell and they need an exorcism. Hilarity ensues as it does make fun of several recent films but possibly the best part of the film is Key’s character as he just pops up everywhere in the house in almost every scene and has most of the great lines. I give it 2 ½ stars.

Gallowwalkers (DVD) – I personally was hoping Wesley Snipes first horror movie in sometime would may be a “Blade” sequel but instead was this oddity of a bad film. Wesley Snipes’ character murders the gang that rape his woman, then they come back to life killing across the old west. And now Snipes is hunting them down again. Doesn’t make a ton of sense and kinda boring but couldn’t help myself wanting to see Wesley Snipes in another horror flick. I am disappointed and must give the film 1 star.

Sharks’ Treasure (DVD) – A 1975 film most likely trying to cash in on the “Jaws” fame with four dudes (one of them Yaphet Kotto) going to seek a sure thing in treasure off a small island. Once found and celebrating they are boarded by escape convicts that are looking for a boat to take them to freedom. Now the four must decide do they want to live or die trying to keep the treasure they have found. Not the most exciting shark film but you do get to see Yaphet Kotto fight a shark and that’s worth 2 stars alone.

Rites of Spring (DVD) – For the past years in this small community in Mississippi, young women of disappeared around the first day of spring. Now kidnappers of rich dude’s kid get involved by accident when a girl screaming bloody murder runs through the kidnapping gone bad and they all must deal with some creature that decapitates people. Apparently a farmer uses this creature for an early harvest every year and it has been a part of the family throughout generations. Great looking box art, but disappointing attempt at a scarecrow slasher type of horror film. There was nothing very memorable about the film as I give it 1 ½ stars.

Call Girl of Cthulhu (Blu-ray/DVD) – First, great title for an independent horror film. Second, it’s been picked up by Camp Motion Pictures so you the horror fan including myself are going to be in for a treat. The story begins with a man named Carter Wilcox, who is trying to explain the events that have happened recently while he sits in front of a detective that wants answers. Mr. Wilcox is an artist but he is a lonely artist with a noisy roommate named Erika. Carter has a chance meeting with an escort named Riley who Wilcox asks to paint her. They become friendly and boom ‘The Great Old Ones’ are in town looking for a woman with a Cthulhu birthmark on her ass (Riley). Going through all the escorts in town they finally know its Riley. Once captured, she becomes the vessel for the legendary evil creature and breaks off her relationship with Wilcox. But meanwhile Wilcox just got a gig copying an old weird book. Then we got death by dildo and plastic fan, a really cool tongue cutting scene, heads exploding, zombie whores, crazy gore and goo flying everywhere, Riley turns into really weird and awful looking creature that resembles Chet from “Weird Science”, and it’s all happening at the ‘Church of Starry Wisdom’. First half of the film is a lot of tits and ass but once the film progresses into the Cthulhu mythology of how ‘The Great Old Ones’ are trying to bring Cthulhu into the world the film gets really interesting and entertaining. With the title it has it is expected to have some nude scenes but I was more impressed with not only the creature and cool make-up effects but the awesome and entertaining storyline plus the actors that played Riley, Carter, and Erika did a wonderful job. Also the Blu-ray combo pack has one of the best extras I have come across this year and it’s called: “My 5-year old niece explains Cthulhu”. It is so cute and so freaking hilarious! I have to give this entertaining independent horror/comedy 3 ½ out of 4 stars. Do yourself a favor and order a copy now at: www.alternativecinema.com .

Non-stop (DVD) – Liam Neeson proves this flick is no “Passenger 57” or “Executive Decision” and makes no sense why he would do this uninteresting action flick over an “A-team” sequel. Found it boring at times, skip this one folks and go watch “Run All Night” or “Taken” again as I give it 1 ½ stars.

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html or pick up a copy at Horror Realm July 24-26^th, 2015 as Out of Print Dan and myself will have a table there! Go to www.horrorrealmcon.com for more details on the convention.

One reason you should come to Horror Realm…?

Posted on July 11, 2015 by grossmoviereviews

The celebrity list looks great, events look fun, awesome vendors as usual, plus Tim Gross will be there with Out of Print Dan selling the new book “Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross” , copies of Jagoff Massacre, and some other cool goodies from OOPD! But what if you had to pick one thing or reason you should come to Horror Realm because there is nothing like it around the state of Pa?

For me it would be the man, the myth, the Frito-Pie eating, the T-shirt making machine, the legend… Joe Garcia!!!

Why? This is why:

http://www.fastcustomshirts.com/spookies-t-shirt/

http://www.fastcustomshirts.com/woodchipper-massacre-t-shirt/

http://www.fastcustomshirts.com/cannibal-campout-t-shirt/

http://www.fastcustomshirts.com/split-second-t-shirt/

http://www.fastcustomshirts.com/gross-movie-reviews-t-shirt/

Of course you gotta get one of those…

http://www.fastcustomshirts.com/jagoff-massacre-t-shirt/

But Mr. Joe Garcia has hundreds of selections at his website:

www.fastcustomshirts.com

Or just check out what he is making next at his facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/fastcustomshirts?fref=ts

And Fast Custom Shirts and the cool T-shirt Joe will be setting up at the fine convention of Horror Realm on July 24-26th, 2015! Get your tickets now for this great event or visit their page for more details: http://www.horrorrealmcon.com

Gross Movie Reviews #350

Posted on June 7, 2015 by grossmoviereviews

Gross Movie Reviews #350

By Tim Gross

What We Do in The Shadows (DVD/On Demand) – Loving the horror flicks coming out of New Zealand as they are just absolutely amazing over the past year! This isn’t a horror movie as its more of a documentary/mockumentary about a camera crew given access to a flat housing four vampires in 2012… and crucifixes! The camera crew is given full access to film everything of this secret society where vampires, werewolves, zombies, all exist and living among us in a major city in New Zealand and always have. But the crew is there to record the everyday simple stuff leading up to an event called “The Unholy Masquerade” where all the monsters or creatures of the night get together for a night of partying. And no humans are allowed! It’s a well-produced monster reality show of the four vampires living together, telling their stories, and how they came to be until now. While the camera crew is there they mistakenly make another vampire who introduces them to his human friend Stewart who in return introduces the vampires to cell phones, internet, and friendship. Another flick I feel many people will have on their list of best movies for 2015 as I will. I literally busted out laughing more than a few times while watching. Great stuff! I give it 4 stars, at first I was only going to give it 3 ½ stars but I rewatch it and laughed harder.

Virtuosity (DVD/YouTube) – Its 1995, it’s another movie about virtual reality coming to life, and it stars Mr. Denzel Washington. Biggest difference between this and many other movies that were a product of that concept at the time weren’t very good in the first place but if anything this flick may have gotten better with age as I am the first to admit I did not like this film when it was first released. Oh, did I mention Russell Crowe is the villain, William Forsythe, Traci Lords, Kelly Lynch are in the film. The film centers on virtual reality of course or ‘LETAC’ to be precise as they have come up with a program called “Sid 6.7” aka artificial intelligence. He is to be shut down after killing a prisoner during a simulation for police training. When Sid 6.7 convinces his master to produce him in the real world, real people begin to die and it’s up to another convict Parker (a convict also) to go catch him. It is a little 1995ish but great sci-fi fun as you can see a young Russell Crowe before he beats up hotel telephones and Denzel realize he can be an action star? I give it 3 stars.

Gator Bait (VHS/DVD-R) – Is there such a thing as redneck-exploitation? Well I think I found it in this 1974 film that stars the absolutely stunning Claudia Jennings who died at 29 only a few years after this film’s release as a wild child of the back swamps of Louisiana. Claudia aka Desiree Thibodeau takes care of her younger sister and brother in the swamps and is pretty much left alone by local authorities. But there is stories of her cutting a man’s balls off because of him trying to bump uglies with the young lady and all she wants to do is be left alone to take care of her kin! Once she escapes the antics of the sheriff’s son and his friend Ben Bracken that he accidentally shoots when Desiree throws snakes in their boat a hunting party is formed to go bring her in and pay for what she did even though it isn’t her fault someone was shot. The hunting party consists of the Bracken family and the sheriff and his son. They tell stories of the legendary Thibodeau family and how they have lived in deep dark swamps poaching gators for many years. But after Desiree’s sister is shot in the vagina and killed Desiree thirsts for revenge hardcore style as she leads the hunting party deeper in the woods and becomes their worst nightmare. Never seen it until and think it’s an amazing 70s film! I give it 3 ½ stars.

Gator Bait 2: Cajun Justice (DVD/DVD-R) – A sequel made fourteen years later made by the Sebastian couple who directed and wrote the first film put their daughter in the lead role of this mostly boring and really useless film unless you are into incest… kind of? Angelique and Big T get married. Big T just happens to be the boy, now a man, from the first film who didn’t talk because he didn’t have a tongue but now is perfectly fine as he bangs the bejesus out of the Sebastian’s daughter on film several times. And before some crazy redneck dudes come by to watch her bathe, kidnap her, rape her, she escapes, fuck people up, end of movie. But that is the problem Angelique aka Sebastian’s daughter is a beautiful redhead… Awesome! But remember her parents are filming her rolling in the hay several times with Big T which is about 70% of the film. Weird! Incest weird… Like weirder than the Mr. Dario Argento rumors or stories horror fans have heard about with Asia Argento, oh yeah I went there. The movie is bad but takes a whole other weird reason to watch it when you know Jan Sebastian’s aka Angelique is given direction by her parents: Okay show more boobs… Good now you will be topless for 65% of the film and we will film the character Big T fake banging you in the sack! WEIRD SHIT PEOPLE? Maybe this is the reason Mr. Quast and Mr. Poling believe I will watch anything and the human shield for bad movies? Anyway I give it 1 ½ stars, why… She’s a redhead, I thought that was simple.

Maggie (OnDemand) – Arnold Schwarzenegger and zombies shouldn’t be in the same sentence unless we are talking about my reimagining of “I Am Legend aka Last Man on Earth aka Omega Man”… Apparently I was wrong as I sat down to watch this amazing performance from crazy old ass Arnold as a farmer in the Midwest who is trying to protect his family from a virus that turns people into zombies and possibly came from the crops that are now being burned by everyone. His daughter Maggie runs away to the big city to see the devastation and is bitten. Arnold brings her home from the hospital to try and live comfortably before she turns. This isn’t your typical balls to the walls bloodbath of zombies as the film is more about the story of love between father and daughter and the progression of this particular zombie virus. You do not immediately turn into a flesh-eater it takes several weeks and there is a quarantine set up. It’s more of humanity still trying to control the apocalypse before it all goes to shit! Let me say also Abigail Breslin as Maggie was wonderful. There is maybe four zombies and a few ounces of blood throughout which sets this film far apart from your usual zombie fare but a must watch for all horror fans as Arnold may be doing some of his best work of his career right now! I give this cool zombie/end of the world flick 3 ½ stars.

Don’t Despair (You Tube) – A sixteen minute short film from a filmmaker named Alfred Giancarli. Never heard of him but glad I do now. Alfred directs a fun little masterpiece about a famous serial killer… of sorts? Two collectors who meet to exchange a piece of history like most collectors. But this is different, the man and woman or Rachel and William are people who collect items of serial killers but this magazine William brings to exchange has an extra added happiness for Rachel as she can absolutely feel the thoughts and feelings of her favorite serial killer. And it is very apparent she feels the same connection now after talking for several minutes with William. Because of this connection Rachel has a special surprise for William and without me giving too much of the short film away I will allow you to go watch it yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfOnRpmHbSI . But this one of the best short films I have had the pleasure seeing. Alfred gave great direction and Erin Etheridge and Kevin Reed were perfect for the roles of the two main actors. After watching it a second time I believe Mr. Giancarli is smart enough to understand this concept cannot be stretch to a full feature as it might kill the magic captured in the short film and some things should be just left alone as you move on to new and different projects. I give it 4 out of 4 stars and horror fans give yourself a present today and go watch this short film.

Kung Fury (YouTube) – There is a bad VHS tape that has horrible tracking and has a movie on it called, “Kung Fury”. A crazy mixture of nerd’em, the 80s, ninjas, and elements of the movies “Manborg” and “Iron Sky” and you have this crazy mix of a 30 minute computer animated film that has Hitler time traveling! It is one of those “WTF did I watch but I like it” films. It is set in Miami, 1985 where a cop named Kung Fury was hit by lightning and bitten by a cobra at the same time after his partner was sliced and diced. Now he has new super Kung Fu powers of some ancient monks. He stops an out of control video arcade machine that is giving people the finger and killing them only to ridiculed for all the damage done to the city. Seconds after Hitler arrives and kills all the cops through the phone and Kung Fury must travel with help of ‘Hackerman’ to stop Hitler. Brilliant and thank you David Sandberg (Any chance you related to famous Chicago Cubs second baseman Ryan Sandberg?) as I give the 30 minute film 4 stars.

Cheap Thrills (DVD) – This was an oddity sent my way by Out of Print Dan who said I needed to watch it. A pretty dark film about two friends who haven’t seen each other in five years and meet in a dive bar talking about all their bad luck of recent times. They meet a married couple who are having a good time and start making stupid bets like “who will drink the whiskey faster?” Soon the two longtime friends find themselves wrapped up in this twisted fantasy of free money and over the top bets. Everything from cutting off a pinky for $15,000 to banging the dude’s wife for $4500 as it just spirals out of control in a night of craziness. I give the film 3 stars and did I mention Trent Haaga was one of the writers on the flick.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes (DVD) – Oh the beauty this film is as it stars Vincent Price in one of his best roles as a crazy, over the top, undead doctor who seeks revenge against the doctor and his assistants who killed his wife several years ago. When people start showing up dead from bats, snakes, and all kinds of crazy things, Scotland Yard begins to investigate all the doctors past patients but is it too late for them to stop the reign of terror that Dr. Phibes spreads across London? This is one of those films that don’t make total sense but you don’t care as horror fans just sit back and enjoy Vincent Price having fun and total weirdness of the film. I give the film 4 stars.

Dr. Phibes Rises Again (DVD) – Three years has past and Dr. Phibes has risen from the grave only to find his home in shambles and his map to immortality gone. This map is the key for his wife to be restored to life again as he is still protecting her. Soon people die mysteriously again in London but a strange death of a man dead in a life size Gin bottle sends Scotland Yard to Egypt where they want to capture Dr. Phibes before he spreads his reign of terror again. It’s weird; it’s the 70s, its Vincent Price playing an Organ, why wouldn’t you want to watch this sequel as I give it 3 stars.

Cabin by the Lake (DVD) – Judd Nelson in one of his best roles outside of “The Breakfast Club” where the character Stanley who is a writer and he is a serial killer. Stanley is working on a new script for a film that is supposed to be going into production but is still trying to decide how to flesh it out and end it. Stanley is a serial killer who not only kills his victims underwater but also sets them up in his garden where he tends to them daily until one gets away. And with the help of a special effects couple and the local police they try to set up Stanley so he can be captured. I believe this flick premiered on the USA network in 2000 before being released on DVD. Don’t forget to check out Michael Weatherly as the deputy before he became an N.C.I.S. agent on the long running popular NCIS show. I give the film 3 stars.

Return to Cabin by the Lake (DVD) – The sequel was released a year later but takes place a couple years later as a film crew is trying to film the story of Stanley and his “Garden of Flesh”. Stanley survives the first film and returns killing his way onto the set of the movie of his life as a second-unit director where he is trying to have the story told correctly. The movie centers more on more of his obsession as a writer is trying to get into Stanley’s head even he is believed dead to make the movie the way it should be. Bodies pile up and Judd Nelson is still pretty good as Stanley the serial killer but the sequel loses its luster the original had as I give it 2 stars.

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html or pick up a copy at Horror Realm July 24-26^th, 2015 as Out of Print Dan and myself will have a table there! Go to www.horrorrealmcon.com for more details on the convention.

Horror Realm is coming my friends

Posted on May 31, 2015 by grossmoviereviews

www.horrorrealmcon.com

We are a little less than two months away film fiends! A diverse lineup this time around shows Horror Realm is trying to be a little different and give something interesting to convention fans as you can see in the picture. If that wasn’t enough you will get to see some great vendors in Buzzworks (cool dude), T-shirt Joe (www.fastcustomshirts.com) and Gross Movie Reviews approved coolest dude on earth, several other vendors, authors, etc., including myself hanging with Out of Print Dan and selling our film Jagoff Massacre and my newest book “Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross”… See Yinz There!!!!

Gross Movie Reviews #349

Posted on May 25, 2015 by grossmoviereviews

Gross Movie Reviews #349

By Tim Gross

Age of Tomorrow (DVD/SyFy Channel) – It is a cheap “Armageddon” meets “War of the Worlds”, so of course I had to see it but the real question is: Do you? I give it 1 star.

Mad Max: Fury Road (Theater) – What can be said about this amazing movie that hasn’t already been said. I know just thinking about the film gets me a high school boner but anyway it has been 30 years since the last sequel and things have changed script wise, casting wise, etc. But George Miller being undeterred by this process possibly put together the best movie sequel ever made? Oh yes I went there “Aliens”, “Terminator 2”, and “Dawn of the Dead” fans. I believe this film has entered that debate but that is for another time… Max now played by Tom Hardy, perfectly mind you is or has gone completely mad. He has flashbacks, he is afraid of the living and dead but yet there is still an ounce of humanity in him to help people against all odds with his life in the balance. After Max’s narration at the beginning of the film, insanity begins as Max is being chased, captured, escapes, captured again and becomes a blood bag (long story). After that you are introduced to Charlize Theron who apparently has a robotic arm of sorts and has her own plans driving the ‘war rig’ to a different destination. Through incredible stunts, car chases, death, and complete insanity Max rules and explains there is no hope. My best example of what this movie could be summarized is: Imagine George Miller goes I want $150 million dollars to make “The Road Warrior” on steroids! DONE! Toecutter is back, a blind man playing a guitar on top of a rig that shoots flames; the 660 HP police interceptor is back, Tom Hardy has eight lines in two hours of movie, old ladies can ride motorcycles and fuck up your ass from a distance, for the love of Mel Gibson and Tom Hardy this is the movie of 2015 hands down. Now for those of you that are complete asses that a) did not go, b) and the biggest problem claim the movie is 90% CG’d, c) think “Pitch Perfect 2” was a better choice… FUCK OFF! Now if you thought the film was 90% CG’d there is a good chance you are not reading this review or you are my friend at this point. Very few films get me wanting to argue the geek things of films but this film is my line in the sand of writing reviews. What does that mean? Well you can have the opinion that you didn’t like the movie, cool, I understand we can have an intelligent conversation about that shit. But your first line or two that comes out of your mouth is that its 80 or 90% CG’d, please do all of us a favor and stop existing so we have more air, fuel, and electricity for a little longer before the world does become a wasteland! The movie is so bad ass it gets 4 ½ out of 4 stars! Thank you George Miller.

Samurai Avenger: The Blind Wolf (Blu-ray) – A man who is out with his family by the lake basically has his dream raped and tortured. Several years later a blind samurai is seeking the man, Nathan Flesher, who did this wrong. But the blind samurai must overcome several tests before he even gets in front of Nathan for possibly his final fight of his life. A film that was released in 2009 that is getting the proper treatment from is a fun homage of cinema that became in vogue for a lot of Americans during the late 80s and early 90s of tape trading. The fun flick also has oodles of extras for fans to pore over for many hours. Synapse as usual did a great job on the package and the movie is a must see for “samurai’ fans as to me at least it had the feel of “Six-string Samurai” if it helps? I give it 3 out of 4 stars and can be purchased at www.synapse-films.com .

Interzone (VHS/DVD-R) – A 1987 post-apocalyptic flick that stars a Bruce Abbott fresh off of “Re-Animator” playing a character named ‘Swan’ who may be the savior to some monk named ‘Panasonic’ and his friends who are trying to protect their treasure. Meanwhile a hot looking muscle bound woman wants that treasure and has failed several times to bust through the monk’s force field but knows it is weakening. So it’s up to Swan after his life is saved by Panasonic to stop these weirdos from killing all the monks and taking their treasure. There is a six-wheeler golf cart with cannon on it but it’s never used which is a big bag of bullshit. And if wondering I believe there is an out-of-print region 2 DVD floating around out there as I give it 2 ½ stars. Would have gotten 3 out of 4 stars if Bruce would have be shooting people with that cannon “Sonny Boy” style.

House of the Long Shadows (VHS) – A writer makes a bet for $20,000 he can write a manuscript in a haunted house in 24 hours and it would be called, “Midnight Manor”. Soon John Carradine, Vincent Price, Peter Cushing all show up for a family reunion of sorts knowing the house is being sold and the man buying it shows up and just happens to be Christopher Lee! Plus the family has a deep secret that has been hidden for 40 years. Great concept for 60s or 70s Hammer flick but this is 1983 and those crazy two guys that gave us a bunch of over the top 80s action flicks thought they could make it happen again. Like I said cool concept but even in 1983 let alone watching it now the film just seems out of place and kind of distorted. Any way worth watching just because of the cast as I give it 2 stars.

Shocking Dark (DVD-R/YouTube) – An 1989 Eye-talian flick that was directed by Vincent Dawn aka Bruno Mattei and was at one point titled “Terminator 2” is a combo of “Aliens” and “Terminator” with most of the popular scenes from James Cameron’s “Aliens” ripped off! Venice, Italy has become what is now called “Dead City” as experiments poisoned the water and a deadly cloud sits above the city not allowing humans to live there unless underground. But once contact with ‘Shelter 65’ is lost it is up too Operation: Delta Venice to go in for a rescue and hope it’s not a bug hunt? Scientists fucked up and now they are all mutating and attacking any live humans. All I know someone’s has got sued by 20^th Century Fox and most likely by several other people as I give this weird greatness called “Shocking Dark” 2 stars.

Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People (DVD) – A Toho Production about a ship that gets caught up in a storm and shipwrecks on an island that seems to have no life. While searching for help the small crew finds another large shipwrecked vessel that they find food on and use it as shelter. They also find that scientists were on board doing experiments that eventually went wrong. Now, if you eat the mushrooms you trip your ass off then die or get attacked by mushroom monsters/zombies that make you eat the mushrooms. Weird, creepy, and a little hilarious describe this 1963 flick as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Rollerblade Warriors: Taken By Force (VHS/DVD-R/YouTube) – A very popular title on Rhonda Shear’s “USA Up All Night” stars Kathleen Kinmont who is a pretty blonde actress who became a favorite of horror fans after her roles in “Halloween 4” and “Bride of Re-Animator”. Here Miss Kinmont aka former wife of Lorenzo Lamas is a sword wielding Karin Cross who is protecting a creature or woman of hope or post-apocalyptic nun named Gretchen during their trip across the Wasteland. Gretchen is considered a ‘seer’. Important… Meanwhile some dude in a gas mask and bio-hazard outfit must get a virgin sacrifice for the radioactive creature that roams the refinery that keeps the wasteland town up and running. Reminds me a lot of “When Hell Comes to Frogtown”. The most hilarious part is there are warriors on roller skates trying to skate across the desert but when it becomes fight time they suddenly lose their skates in most scenes and they are foot fighting men and for that I am thankful so no one was getting hurt. I give this senseless but fun movie that only seems to exist because I do 2 ½ stars.

The Walking Deceased (DVD) – A brand new spoof of course on “The Walking Dead” series but incorporates every popular zombie flick most people ever heard of into the plot. A sheriff wakes from his coma looking for his kid Chris, I mean Carl, actually Chris and trying to find this group of people who are hiding in a mall away from zombies. Once they all meet up and they close down the zombie strip club they travel to a farm in hopes of finding salvation. First thirty minutes I was laughing a ton but as most spoofs go on they lose their steam and become your average spoof that you usually never revisit again. But just knowing this exists will most likely piss off “The Walking Dead” hardcore fans which is cool with me. I give it 1 ½ stars.

Butchered (DVD) – A convicted killer/Terrace Skinner aka bootleg Kurt Angle has escaped custody before being sent to the electric chair to death. Meanwhile bootleg Joe Estevez drops his younger brother and friends off at an island in North Carolina for one last weekend of partying before parting for college. Do yourself a favor for a drinking game: Watch this movie and chug a beer or take a shot when you hear a character say “Oh my god, we are all going to die” and you will be dead. I give it 2 out of 4 stars just for having two bootleg characters in an independent flick.

A Bothered Conscience (DVD) – The independent flick begins in 1974 Arkansas where a man has a child with him and shoots another hunter. Soon this becomes a regular thing. Speed up about 20 years and the man is an old guy who is still with the child who is a grown man and is teaching him about killing people who are trespassing. The local sheriff comes out bitching about the 41 unsolved incidents and the old guy doesn’t care but threatens the sheriff’s life. Old guy gets his head blown off after someone is seeking revenge for a relative and now it is up to the son to take care of business. Problem, the grown kid is haunted by those who have been killed by his father. The movie is well-produced but I found myself not nearly interested in it as much I should have been? Different plot or structure it may have kept my interest but it did show the filmmakers have talent or at least an idea of what they want to do and that’s awesome in my book as I give this flick 2 out of 4 stars and can be found at www.midnightreleasing.com .

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html or pick up a copy at Horror Realm July 24-26^th, 2015 as Out of Print Dan and myself will have a table there! Go to www.horrorrealmcon.com for more details on the convention.

To help celebrate the new Mad Max movie this weekend my book is on sale!!!

Posted on May 14, 2015 by grossmoviereviews

http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

Click on the link and its 10% off from now until Sunday night 7pm as I celebrate the new Mad Max flick so take advantage of the sale now at lulu.com

Gross Movie Reviews #347

Posted on April 26, 2015 by grossmoviereviews

Gross Movie Reviews #347

By Tim Gross

Future Kick (DVD) – It’s the year 2025 and Roger Corman has no budget as usual but have people put together a fun futuristic sci-fi flick starring Don “The Dragon” Wilson, Meg Foster, and Chris Penn. Wilson is the last of the cyborgs who are being hunted down by authorities who helped put the world back in order after the apocalypse and all the rich people moved to the moon. When Meg Foster’s famous computer programmer husband goes back to earth and dies a horrible death, Foster goes to investigate. Oh wait… Fuck you it’s all part of a virtual reality program! Wait “Total Recall”, “Brainscan”, “Wisdom”… you get the picture as I give the flick 1 ½ stars.

Big Bad Wolf (DVD) – A mad mess of a werewolf movie that stars “Full Moon” sensation Robin Sydney, Clint Howard for a cameo, David Naughton for a little more than cameo, the girl from Disney’s “Halloweentown” all pierced up, and “Three O’clock High’s” Richard Tyson as the werewolf version of Freddy Kruger. I didn’t know if I should be excited and have a horror movie orgasm or go find a copy of 1996’s “Bad Moon”… I give the ‘should have been better werewolf flick’ 2 stars.

Deliver Us From Evil (DVD) – Another ‘based on true accounts’ horror flick. The movie stars Eric Bana has a hard working detective who seems to be slipping away from his family that tries so hard to protect from the world he sees daily. But the detective comes across an odd case when he and his partner take a domestic disturbance call that turns out to be a lot more when he is called to the scene of several other weird events. Best way to describe the film is Exorcist-lite with cops. Worth a look my devil horror film fans as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Fantastic Voyage (DVD/YouTube) – A crazy mid-60s sci-fi flick about a surgical team that gets miniaturized inside a scientist’s damaged brain to fix a blood clot. Reason because he has the knowledge to stay miniature longer than 60 minutes. Donald Pleasance is crazy and awesome in the flick and look for James Brolin playing a technician in the film. I give it 2 ½ stars.

The Last Dinner (Vimeo) – A short film directed by Steve Lanthripp about a man (Jonathon) who is having dinner with a lovely lady who just happens to be dead and argues of smelling bad. I enjoyed the concept as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

American Scary (DVD) – A documentary that does an amazing job of chronicling horror/movie hosts throughout the years on TV. It explains its beginnings and its history with a lot of dedicated to hosts from Ohio. A really cool movie for film geeks who are under 25 that totally don’t understand this phenomenon back in the day and why some of us older folks love it. I would have enjoyed a little more Joe Bob Briggs or Elvira but also was surprised of no mention to Rhonda Shear and USA Up All Night. But I did get Chilly Billy so I was happy for that and give the documentary 3 ½ stars.

Gingersquatch (DVD) – Not does this movie exists but it also comes with a little comic book called “Two Fisted Cthulhu Tales”! The film goes the way of the late Ray Dennis Steckler as the director’s cut is 15 minutes shorter than the original finished product. Thankfully Douglas A. Waltz had me in mind (maybe not?) when he wrote, edited, and directed this delightful off-shoot of Sasquatch. The story goes: a family of Gingers goes camping and one of the young ones get lost and is picked up Sasquatches to take care of. But that changes when the military was able to track down the child and try to research him. But since he really didn’t have anything to offer mankind the government sets him up with a house where he is lazy, eats salty snacks, drinks beer in Michigan… Kalamazoo! You only know of the location because of the old arcade game “Rampage”, oh yeah that’s just me. But anyway after someone mentions beef jerky “Gingersquatch” loses his temper, kills several ninjas, and bangs a woman who has a redheaded kid the next day! Oh the movie is bad, no doubt but I loved every minute of it and for that I give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Mutantis (DVD) – The DVD cover looks like the old school 50s and 60s giant rubber monster flicks I seen as a youngster. The film revolves around a legend about a monster/bigfoot that haunts the woods after a power plant was built on top of an old burial ground according a to a drunken Indian dude at a small fruit stand. Let’s not forget the film opens with a narrator explaining toxic waste and how it could have caused this mutation or monster or Mutantis! But Father Joy hell bent on discovering this creature or whatever it is takes his family on a camping trip to Possum Valley to meet a young man and his wife to help him track this thing and become famous. One thing Father Joy and others were not counting on in this 60s theme inspired B-movie is the monster/Mutantis wanting to have sex with all humans, male or female. Oh by the way according to the film only homosexuals’ masturbate? The movie goes out of its way to give you that old school B-movie experience with the clothes, the dedicated acting, the dubbing, incest, and one awesome looking creature. I have to hand it to Kelly Fitzgerald aka Globus Walt Jr. and crew for making a movie that reminds me of watching classics like “Frogs”, “The Creeping Terror”, “Toxic Zombies” on late night TV. If the movie isn’t enough the DVD has some fun extras that include short films “Heavy Metal Weekend Part One and Two” and “Mime” which worthy of watching soon as you are done watching “Mutantis”. Outside of the excess of monster rape scenes I totally enjoyed the flick as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars and yes the monster rape is essential to the plot! You can find out more or pick up the film at www.direwitfilms.com .

Dead Days (You Tube) – Haven’t heard from independent filmmaker Chuck Skibo for a while but he is back and focused as this a first of many projects in the works for this talented dude. This short film stars independent actress talent Katie Stewart fighting for her life in this quick story of what’s worse the zombies or humans? I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars and you can watch at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzM_1NP82IQ , Mutant Strain Pictures is back and that makes me happy.

Grosshouse (YouTube) – No folks it wasn’t inspired by me or a drunken rant from Ed Quillin it’s a feature length film from Alex Powers and Doug Waugh. The movie plays out like a mish-mash of John Waters was 21 again, had no money, and decided he wanted to make a no budget film on digital video in 2002. What does that mean? The film is a little weird… possibly a little too weird for my taste. That isn’t a bad thing it just means I may not be intended audience. But when 23 year old Marty who is inspiring himself to become a big time Hollywood writer his mom/dad/you make your choice here, constantly verbally abuses him and makes Marty bury the bodies his mom calls clients. It tends to work against Marty. Marty is a dreamer and snaps when mother has had enough of Petunia after Petunia tells Marty that they are siblings and must have sex in the shower. Once Petunia is dead Marty plots his revenge against his mama. It’s odd, it’s a little disgusting to some most likely but again like I said I am not its intended audience but thank the filmmakers for allowing me to view it as I give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars. You can find out more about “Grosshouse” here: https://www.facebook.com/grosshousemovie .

Lake Placid vs. Anaconda (SyFy Channel/DVD) – The movie most likely shouldn’t have been made, but it was and I watched it so go fuck yourselves the high and mighty insert your name here horror websites that spent more time than I ever thought they would bashing an easy target of a movie but praise “Paranormal Activity 29”. Yeah its bad but that is the beauty of these endless sequels that help pay for Robert Englund’s union dues for the year, Yancy Butler’s comeback, and still do not know why Corin Nemec loves doing these projects but hey more power to you brother. Corin is approaching double digits of SyFy channel flicks for those that are counting? So guess what the crocs have escaped again from Black Lake and its electric barrier and looking for their next meal until some dumb ass again was experimenting with another anaconda. Like I said it’s horrible but it gives me an excuse to sit in on a Saturday night, drink a six pack and have a pizza! I give it 1 star.

Bad Biology (Blu-ray/DVD combo) – There is David Lynch, David Croenberg, and even John Waters and these filmmakers can be bizarre but the man/filmmaker who in my mind has a stranglehold on this title is Frank Henenlotter. The mere mention of “Basket Case” makes the hardcore horror movie fans smile. If “Frankenhooker” is spoken even by accident you can always hear in the distance from someone “Wanna Date?” So when I finally sat down to watch this oddity from the mastermind of bizarre I already knew what I was getting myself into and all I can say is the only things that could have made this film better is an appearance from ‘Elmer’ or Duane Bradley. The film is about a photographer named Jennifer and she has sexual issues or a bad vagina that she was born with. Bottom line she has trouble falling in love until she meets a man named Batz whose house is used for a photo shoot of Jennifer’s and by mistake learns his sexual secret of having a monstrous penis that has a mind of its own. Sexual organs made for each other in a love story that could only come from the mind of Frank Henenlotter. It’s bizarre but beautiful and fucking hilarious as Mr. Henenlotter proves he still owns the title and thank god for that. Because we also get the talents of Gabe Bartalos and Al Magliochetti that produce the amazing bizarre effects for the flick! I give this truly bizarre beauty 4 stars.

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

And do not forget to order your copy of Gross Movie Reviews: The Wrath of Gross at: http://www.lulu.com/shop/tim-gross/gross-movie-reviews-the-wrath-of-gross/paperback/product-21975934.html

grossmoviereviews

This website is dedicated to horror movies (independent and mainstream), beer, Full Moon, Spookies, Graveyard Shift, Leprechaun sequels, massacre films and watching every god damn horror film ever made or die trying!

Tag Archives: Gross Movie Reviews

Gross Movie Reviews #359

Gross Movie Reviews #358

Gross Movie Reviews #356

Gross Movie Reviews #353

One reason you should come to Horror Realm…?

Gross Movie Reviews #350

Horror Realm is coming my friends

Gross Movie Reviews #349

To help celebrate the new Mad Max movie this weekend my book is on sale!!!

Gross Movie Reviews #347

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: