Gross Movie Reviews #457
The Snow Creature (DVD) – An unusual Yeti film about a botanist Dr. Frank Parrish who heads to the Himalaya Mountains to study plants with another scientist. When their guide’s wife gets kidnapped by the legendary creature Dr. Parrish becomes trapped in the mountains because his guide and others go searching for the Yeti. Along the way Parrish is able to help capture the creature and convince authorities to send it to L.A. for the find of the century. But the creature escapes into the night and goes on murder spree. It is unusual in the fact that there is more to this movie than just finding the Yeti and it’s not all spent in the mountains. Well worth the watch for Bigfoot film enthusiasts as I give the film 2 ½ stars.
Venom (On Demand) – Well thank you for being a pleasant surprise instead of the pile of garbage a lot of people were claiming? Instead of using the original source material of ‘Black costume Spider-man’ this story seems to lean more to the ‘Venom: Lethal Protector’ series superhero aspect. I am sure there will be some comic book geeks out there to correct me but that is how I seen this film. I believe two things made this film very entertaining: first, no connection to the Spider-man series… yet and second, Tom Hardy was enjoyable as Eddie Brock. Eddie is a journalist first and when he is sent in to interview Carlton Drake and asks the wrong questions Brock uses his job, girlfriend, and apartment. Six months later a scientist from inside visits Eddie to explain Eddie was right about Drake and his experiments and space exploration. So Eddie breaks in to get more evidence but instead finds a symbiote that changes everything. Drake worried it will be loose in the world and Eddie will blow the lid off of everything tries to kill him any chance available. But as time goes on and the two bond they both understand they can only help each other if they are going to escape Drake and save the Earth from certain doom. I give this entertaining flick 3 stars.
The House with a Clock in its Walls (On Demand) – Another unexpected fun film that has Eli Roth directing and Jack Black starring about an orphan named Lewis who is sent to live with his crazy uncle. Uncle Jonathan just happens to be a warlock with help from a neighbor is looking for a secret clock in the walls by his good friend Isaac. Isaac went to war and came back with the help of black magic and conjured something very evil. Now the uncle and the neighbor must find the clock as it is counting down to something. Lewis slowly is learning to be a boy witch/warlock but accidentally brings back good old Isaac from the dead who wants to restart everything? I give this magic filled flick 3 stars.
King Cohen: The Wild World of Filmmaker Larry Cohen (DVD) – A wild documentary that takes a long look into the career of a filmmaker that spawned many careers and has made many fun inspiring films. We all know about Roger Corman and his impact but Cohen may have been the second generation of being a maverick in filmmaking as he put his own twist on things. Cohen as a writer, producer, and director has had an impact of filmmaking whether people admit it or not. A great watch as many of Cohen’s peers tells some hilarious stories including Fred Williamson which pay attention what is being said between the two as I give this documentary 4 stars.
Dead Trigger (DVD) – A mysterious viral outbreak turns hundreds of millions of people into zombies so the government produces a game called “Dead Trigger”. The government and Dolph Lundgren use this to find young people to join the armed forces in 2025 to go in to Terminal City where it all started. There is a possible cure there but the government has lost track of the first team they sent in. So these kids with Lundgren’s help head in to save the day. I really liked the concept of the movie but it failed horribly as it tries too hard to reinvent the zombie film instead of adding to it. I give it 2 stars.
Snake Outta Compton (DVD) – Holy crap this is crap! A young rap group is trying to gear up their possible record deal tomorrow until their nerdy roommate brings inside a snake that fell from the sky. The nerdy roommate experiments with the snake and mutates it and the snake reacts to rap music. Once it escapes it is up to the budding rap artists to track it down and kill it. If “Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper” didn’t make you hate me then watch this film and you will as I give it 1 star for its horrible jokes that kept me entertained enough to get through this SyFy Channel reject.
Cucuy: The Boogeyman (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A Mexican urban legend is conjured up to kidnap young people in a small town. It is a dirty creature that comes out at night looking for bad children that is a story to little kids to scare the shit out of them. He apparently snatches the kids and takes them to his cave to be eaten later. When some kids go missing recently the common thread is they were bullies until a curious girl and her sister get mixed up with the urban legend. They find out a missing girl’s parents conjured up the creature to help them get revenge. The kids must get in the creature’s sack in order to enter his realm and stop it. Some blood, cool creature, enjoyed the urban legend part as I give the film 3 stars.
Demon Lover Diary (YouTube) – Did you know the 70s film “Demon Lover” had a documentary? Nope! Neither did I people as it was released for a short time on VHS supposedly but was one of these things that were a myth. I have heard a few stories of this existing showing how not to make a film but basically shows Donald G. Jackson of “Rollerblade” and “Hell Comes to Frogtown” fame having troubles on his first low budget production. A couple of filmmakers drive from the east coast out to Michigan to help Donald Jackson on his project “Demon Lover”. You be the judge was the project doomed from the start? Or did the three people that headed out to Michigan to make this documentary help the chaos along? However you see this documentary it is an interesting peak inside of low budget filmmaking that could be used as a learning tool for new and old filmmakers out there as I give it 3 stars.
Ocular (DVD) – An absolute bizarre short film from David Brudie that has an unknown individual eat a bloody poo sandwich, pop zits, eat bloody snot, then has a weird groping session with itself. I know the film is supposed to mean something but in my opinion comes off as let’s see how many random scenes of gross can I put in the short film and call it art? What’s not so weird is I believe there is an audience for it as I give it 2 stars for trying to be disgusting.
The Demons of Ludlow (VHS/YouTube) – A small town named after its founder 200 years ago ‘Ludlow’ is celebrating its 200th birthday. For the celebration an odd piano from Ludlow’s family collection has been returned to the town and strange things begin to happen. Apparently Ludlow wrote a list and cursed the town. A reporter Debra Hall comes through town is there to do a story on the celebration knows a little about the odd history of the town as her grandfather use to tell her stories. She investigates and cannot find any history on the town but the folks who have lived there all their lives believe it is the Ludlow demons? This haunted piano film is pretty dull at times but would be a wonderful pick for the new MST3K as I give it 2 stars.
Dead in the Water (SyFy Channel/DVD) – A boat full of activists trying to track down and stop a boat that was doing illegal ocean fishing breaks down. While they try to get engine working again and get moving before the major storm rolls in they believe they see something floating out on the ocean. The activists pull in a dead body that awakes and almost kills two of them. During an autopsy they believe he may have a contagion but something was living inside of him. Now that it is loose it attacks them one by one feeding on anything warm blooded. If you enjoy “The Thing” rip-offs this was bearable as I give it 2 stars.
Mysterious Island of Beautiful Women (DVD) – A B-flick from the late 70s about a nun and some orphans who escape from a war torn China on a plane. The plane goes down and the orphans are left to fend for themselves on an uncharted island. Twenty-five years later a small plane full of men sets down because they are lost and low on fuel. They quickly find out the island is populated by women. Wanting to keep the peace they try to speak with the women and possibly find help or fuel? They come to an agreement to help the women with the invading men from another nearby island. Not a whole lot goes on in the movie except for a few Miss Universe contestants wondering around in bikinis. I give it 1 star.
It Came from the Desert (DVD) – A low budget horror movie based on a video game I never heard of but didn’t stop me from trying to enjoy the mutant movie. Two brothers partying out in the desert find an abandoned military contractor building in the desert of New Mexico. They go exploring and find out there is giant ants infesting the building and now they are about to make their way above ground. The brothers after catching up with a scientist gain the knowledge that the military has been experimenting with alien DNA and ants since 1951. Now must stop them before it becomes a global catastrophe! One of those films you are surprised wasn’t made by Asylum Entertainment and showed up on SyFy Channel as I give it 2 stars.
Supergrid (On Demand) – The latest project from “Wolfcop” filmmaker himself Lowell Dean where the film is set in the not-to-distant future where ‘black lung’ has infected most of the population. The Campbell brothers are employed to ride into the ‘grid’ aka what is left of America to retrieve a mysterious package and bring it back to Canada. They must fight their way through cannibals and road gangs with no protection in order to complete their mission. Problem is once they have the package they learn what it is and do not want to hand it over once they make it back. Lots of good action scenes keep the low budget post-apocalyptic film going. For me it isn’t “Wolfcop” but it was cool seeing some of the cast and Lowell Dean doing something different as I give it 3 stars.
Alien Beach Party Massacre (VHS) – This ultra-low budget flick has aliens stealing a weapon called the ‘death-sphere’ which by the way looks like a volleyball. When some ugly aliens come to claim it back they send the death-sphere to Earth to hide it and crash land there. Now Lord Odem is pissed and must go to Earth to retrieve it and vaporize anyone that gets in his way. The most hilarious part of the film is half of it takes place in a supposedly haunted mansion where the beach bums all go to party with the death-sphere. The movie has its dull moments but kudos for it being a one of a kind horror/comedy as I give it 2 stars.
Hellfest (On Demand) – A slasher flick where the unknown killer uses a Halloween themed amusement park as his back drop to stalk and kill people. Six college kids head inside for booze and scares and instead deal with a person that wants them dead. The plot is simple but interesting as I like the little things about the film as it is set in reality more than your usual “out at the cabin by the lake”. In a nutshell that is the movie. “Hellfest” has a good amount of gore and the killer doesn’t seem to have a real motive other than what you see at the end of the film. The horror film is by no means one of the best of 2018 but I did enjoy it for trying to be a little different and thank you for Tony Todd! I give this well worth a watch horror film 3 stars.
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