Gross Movie Reviews #718

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Scream of the Wolf (DVD) – A low budget UK vampire film is being made at “The Talbot Manor”. The production has run over and they are trying to get one more day of pick up shots even though they were told they had to be out. But the crew and producer carry on even though a werewolf quickly begins to kill them all one by one. The film does have its funny moments, eww moments, and a couple gory moments that will keep the average creature feature fan interested as it is a simple but fun horror film I give 2 ½ stars.

Maws (Tubi) – Independent filmmaker Matt Jaissle has churned out another project where an aging so-called gang steals from a rival gang to hide out in a small seaside town until people forget about their heist. The problem is the heist has been picked up on the national news and this so-called gang feels trapped in this community. With the gang trapped they stumble upon a nazi experiment half man/half shark that doesn’t fill the allotted 70 minutes running time as there is 15 minutes of end credits… WTF? I have liked a few projects from this filmmaker over the years but this one just felt forced and thrown out there as I give it a ½ out of 4 stars.

Squatch (Tubi) – Two national park rangers who work in the Smoky Mountains know about a sasquatch and feed him Zagnut bars on a daily basis. But this peaceful living status is thrown into chaos as the two rangers are fired because a bootleg Amazon CEO buys the forest to build a golf course! Now, Robert and Sam make a pact to save the Squatch from the chaos to move him to the Pacific Northwest where they believe the Squatch will be safe. From there on it becomes a truly hilarious road trip film with Squatch adapting to the duo’s lifestyle and understanding what they are trying to do for it as I give this project 3 out of 4 stars.

Flesh Eaters (Tubi) – This 2022 Indy film centers around two women heading to the “Swamp Party” only to be captured by this off the wall scientist who loves experimenting on humans out in the swamp area! This loon of a scientist believes he is on the cusp of perfecting his serum that could produce a monster army that would be controlled easily. The good doctor has the right intentions with his creatures but they lack the understanding of his directions on a regular basis as they kill most of who they capture. No budget, its to the point, and has some cool creatures so go check out this project as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.

Batraticus (Tubi) – This is one of those independent films that I am unsure if this fits into the “bad movie on purpose” or “this is just bad” as this very Bronx eccentric movie begins in a Bronx basement where an experiment gets loose to begin a zombie outbreak. As zombies run rampant on the streets as time goes on the Bronx people are just concerned with this bat mutation that is eating people along the way. It was a little tough to get through but something tells me there are going to be a few viewers out there that are going to be very entertained as I can only give it 1 ½ out of 4 stars.

The Anacondas (DVD) – This is something from Asylum Entertainment which can be always interesting as archaeologists have found an ancient cult that was dedicated to snake worship hundreds of years ago in some Mexican ruins. Now that they have disturbed the ruins a giant snake has awakened and grows quickly. The only way to stop it is to make a sacrifice to satisfy the snake gods supposedly. Yeah it is a big bag of cheese but as usual it keeps me entertained to make it through to the end as I give it 2 stars.

R.L. Stine’s Pumpkinhead 2 (Tubi) – A later has passed in Redhaven as Sam is still forgotten by his family but that hasn’t stopped him and his friend Becca to look for the evil book that started this mess to begin with. As the curse continues the book rises from the dirt again to have a shy kid (Byers) find it and use him for the Pumpkinhead creature to become even more powerful. As Cassandra Peterson shows up, Becca and Sam seek her out as she was the witch the book was stolen from years ago. With her help the two might finally defeat this evil menace and put Redhaven back to normal. The sequel is solid but feels more like this was two movie thoughts put into one story as they weren’t totally sure of how to advance the story even though it was well liked the year before? No matter what the film still accomplished that 90s “Goosebumps” style feel and immediately lets the audience know there will be another movie as I give it 2 ½ stars.

Gross Movie Reviews posts the end of the year movie lists!

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Top ten independent films of 2015:

Winners Tape All: The Henderson Brothers

Killer Rack

Chrysalis

Valley of the Sasquatch

Pieces of Talent

Mutantis

Razor Days

Call Girl of Cthulhu

The Slashening

“It’s a Tie… ” – Blood on the Reel: Documentary  and Destroy Cleveland Documentary

 

Top Ten films of 2015:

Mad Max: Fury Road

Deathgasm

The Scribbler

We Are Still Here

What We Do in The Shadows

Tales of Halloween

Goosebumps

The Equalizer

Turbo Kid

Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead

 

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Gross Movie Reviews #361

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Gross Movie Reviews #361

 

By Tim Gross

 

Crimson Peak (Theater) – The best way to describe the film is the way Guillermo Del Toro described it as “gothic romance”. Here is the quick story; the dude that played Loki in “the Avengers” movies is inventor looking for money from big American companies to invest to help him finish it. Think of it as a Kickstarter campaign or Indie Go-Go. Well he gets denied by a big shot that just happens to have only one daughter and of course she isn’t married yet. Well Loki isn’t there so much for the money right now as he is looking for a new bride to take home to his sister to kill for the money… and incest. Things don’t go according to plan when the new bride keeps seeing ghosts in the broken down castle. Great atmosphere, great scenery, but blah overall on the ‘Hammer-lite’ flow.  It pretty much just exists and for that I just give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Night of the Wild (DVD/SyFy Channel) – Eric Red made a movie with Asylum Entertainment about meteors falling and causing all dogs to attack humans. Well most of the attacks looks like the dogs are wrestling or playing with the actors when they are not CG’d in. This movie tries hard not to be a pile of steaming poo but damn if you can’t get that scent out of your nose while watching it. Asylum stick with the ‘Shark Attack, Sharknados, and Shark whatever’ films as I give this flick 1 star.

 

Moonstalker (DVD-R/DVD) – The director of the 80s film “Hellgate” also did this flick too before disappearing from filmmaking land. It’s the middle of winter and a family is vacationing all by themselves in the middle of the woods. Until, an old dude rolls up sits down for some talk and cake and then unleashes his son! Who just happens to be a pillow sheet, straight-jacket wearing weirdo that goes and kills the family for their microwave? But that wasn’t enough for Bernie as he disguises himself as one of the incoming people to the ‘Wilderness Councilor Camp’. Then Bernie continues his slashing ways through the others. Movie was heavily influenced by “Friday the 13th”.  I give it 2 stars.

 

Goosebumps (Theater) – Now let me explain something here, “Goosebumps” the books and original TV series missed me by a few years. By time this book series became known and popular I was 17 or 18 years old and about to graduate. But several younger friends I had would always talk about this series for years to come. It was great PG-rated horror stuff for teenagers. So over the years the series has gone and came back and even had a new series come back for a couple years not too long ago but the movie should have happened 10 or 15 years ago. And that folks is the only bad thing I could say about the film. Now present day, Jack Black is R. L. Stine who has a daughter/Hannah/maybe and moves around a lot for unknown reasons. Cue in new boy movies in next door, Madison, Delaware, daughter takes an interest. Mr. Stine says, “Stay away!” New boy tries to be good about it until one evening he calls the police because Stine is screaming at Hannah. Worried and the police are about to file a false report warning against the young man he sneaks back in to check on Hannah with a friend a couple days later. When in they both find a room that has all the “Goosebumps” manuscripts written. Accidentally, one gets knocked down, opens and Sasquatch is loose! Hannah and the boys follow it and try to capture it but fail but get help from R.L. Stine. Mr. Stine explains this is the reason they keep moving because eventually someone opens one of the manuscripts and chaos ensues. But it’s too late as Slappy the Dummy is loose and plans on making sure none of them get sucked back into the books. This movie is absolutely wonderful and perfect. Again if it was made 10 or 15 years ago it’s “The Monster Squad” of that generation. I give the film 3 ½ stars and Jack Black was awesome as R.L. Stine. Critics get over yourselves this movie was good.

 

The Green Inferno (Theater) – College students join a major protestor that has arranged for them to fly into Peru and go chain themselves to construction vehicles that are about to destroy a jungle and an ancient tribe. The protestors want to protect them and film it for the world to see to help stop it. After the event they get back on a plane to go back to their hotel only for it to go down in the middle of the jungle and be capture by the ancient cannibal tribe in the aftermath. Once captured those who didn’t die almost want to as they witness some horrible imagery as they watch their friends be baked, sliced, and diced for meals. Never mind the head of the protest is a complete dickhead but adds to the horrific storyline. Congrats Eli Roth, you made your cannibal film. It was good. I enjoyed the tribes’ people and the storyline. It was a good, bloody, cannibalistic time and that is all I look for in this type of film. I am sure fans will call it Eli Roth’s “Cannibal Holocaust”, which it’s not but it is a must watch for cannibal fans. I give the fun flick 3 stars.

 

Knock Knock (On Demand) – So Eli Roth has been a busy man since he released this film also at the same time as “The Green Inferno”. Love the choice of Keanu Reeves as the lead but that is about all I enjoyed about the film. This film is about you are supposed to know males are pigs and do not trust another fucking soul on this earth especially if they have hacked your social media. Mr. Roth lets go make a sequel to “The Green Inferno” as I give this 1 star.

 

They Found Hell (SyFy Channel) – Scientists in training have figured out the doorway to hell by accident. They were trying to do the Jeff Goldblum thing with transferring an object from one place to another and thought they did it until it opened a hole in the ground that sucked them into hell. It’s a cool concept that may not have been executed correctly. But anyhow the students/scientists in training try to make their way through hell in hopes of finding the disc that can get them back through the portal. Monsters, zombies, and creatures of sorts constantly try to kill them, because it is hell… I could be wrong on this but I thought this could have made a great B-movie for SyFy Channel fans if they used it for another “Dungeons and Dragons” sequel or even a “In the Name of the King” sequel with Dolph Lundgren. I give it 2 stars.

Sequence

Sequence of Demise (YouTube) – A 27 minute film from director Jim Mitchell a few years back. The film lives up to its title as a quiet ride between three friends and a baby to the cemetery goes wrong quickly after two unknown men decide it’s time for  rape, torture, and murder. The independent short film from Mr. Mitchell comes off as an experimental film or first rough cut of what Jim Mitchell wanted on film. With that said it fits in with such films as “August Underground” or “Double Dose of Terror”. Usually not my cup of tea but if it is truly experimental and Mr. Mitchell seeing what he can do film wise it has me interested how he has progressed since 2008. It’s available on You Tube and worth checking out as I give 2 out of 4 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@verizon.net, GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.facebook.com/grossmoviereviews . Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………

You can always visit and see some past reviews, independent film news, or me ranting at: www.grossmoviereviews.com !!!

Don’t forget you can also hear Kyle Poling and me talking about horror flicks on a weekly basis on the Bloodbaths and Boomsticks podcast at: www.bloodbathspodcast.blogspot.com/

Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com for details.

Gross Movie Reviews inside look of a Saturday in October

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So when I am not writing reviews or working 55 to 60 hours a week at my real job to try pay bills this is an inside look of me on Saturday in October…

Of course you must start your day out right. Ran out of beer so this was the next option.

Of course you must start your day out right. Ran out of beer so this was the next option.

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My daughter waiting patiently for "Goosebumps" to start! Which was awesome horror fans!

My daughter waiting patiently for “Goosebumps” to start! Which was awesome horror fans!

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Me hanging out with my son watching the Pitt football for lunch and I found beer!

Hanging out with a cool reviewer named Mario Dominick at the Trick or Treat screening.

Hanging out with a cool reviewer named Mario Dominick at the Trick or Treat screening.

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Mario and the coolest grandma I have ever met in my life!

And... yeah this happened!

And… yeah this happened!

 

 

Is that Bootleg Tim Gross?

Is that Bootleg Tim Gross?

 

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Joe Bob doing the introduction to Trick or Treat