This website is dedicated to horror movies (independent and mainstream), beer, Full Moon, Spookies, Graveyard Shift, Leprechaun sequels, massacre films and watching every god damn horror film ever made or die trying!
Just a free movie screening on the back patio of Willow Station to help get yinz in the Halloween spirit. We will be screening the independent horror film “Jagoff Massacre” (along with Matt Cannon’s short film “Hexercise”) The film is about two drunken yinzers walking through Frick Park one night and interrupt a Satanic ritual by Satanists… Chaos ensues as these drunken yinzers must face off with evil and hope to survive this horrible night! Witness the hilarious terror and all the true stories that went into making this no budget film that refuses to go away. You not from the burgh? Be ready for a crash course of terror into what it is like to be a yinzer! So get your ass to this great bar/restaurant, grab an Iron City, and hang on the back patio for the Drunken Yinzers Productions screening of “Jagoff Massacre”, see yinz there!
A.M.I. (DVD) – We come to know a young female character Cassie who struggles with the death of her mom and just so happens to find a cell phone during a morning jog. She appropriately leaves it on a stump for the person who might be looking for it and as she walks away the phone asks her, “Do you need a friend?” Cassie’s best friend just showed this new app on your cell phone that once downloaded becomes your friend and knows you. This story taps right into what we all are waiting for to happen, ‘Skynet bitches!’ The A.I. has become so sophisticated it communicates, plays games, does homework, gets calls for you (Alexa anyone?), so this premise is right in the wheel house of every human on Earth. Anyway after an unsightly event with her father Cassie goes back and finds the phone is still there and answers it. This is where Cassie’s life changes especially when the phone convinces her to go off her meds and entices Cassie to kill her friends because they are not good for her! This R-rated Lifetime Network film takes Psychostalker to a whole new level as the film should be watched as a warning of what is already happening more than just another horror movie or I enjoyed the fucking shit out of this film as I give it 3 ½ stars.
Vermont Massacre (DVD) – Class of 2003 is celebrating their ten year reunion and decides hanging at a cabin for the weekend for one last party weekend is the way to celebrate it. But who would have guessed the caretaker wants to bang your cute friends and kill the rest? From beginning to end this film is shamefully horrible from the cast never looking like they would ever be friends to the dumb ass idea of putting a handicap person on a back of a truck that cannot even carrying all the characters that are going to cabin to begin with. The script is dumb, the cast is bored, the filmmaker put no passion into this project and it shows as I give it 0 stars. Idea time: sometimes it’s okay to not make the film…
The Gingerweed Man (DVD) – A 45 minute short film from Full Moon recently that has the Gingerdead Man’s cousin running a weed dispensary with his business partner Barbara. The Gingerweed Man is known for having the best weed in town as he is always making deliveries every day. Well on his usual delivery route he hits up a friend and there he meets the great professor. This professor who is injured gives Gingerweed Man an experiment that needs to be protected from the likes of “Fu-Tech” as they will have evil uses for it. The experiment is named buddy and looks like one of those Mad Balls from the 80s but a smaller version but Buddy might be the future of the world or just the next great weed nug? So Gingerweed Man must mother buddy and save him from the evil entity Fu-Tech. The movie is uneventful but has its moments including bringing in Full Moon’s most racist character ever (OOGA BOOGA) as a sidekick as I give it 2 stars.
The Wrecking Crew (DVD) – A weirdo action flick of where Dead Martin is a bootleg James Bond and working as a U.S. agent that is given the task of recovering a billion dollars in gold that was stolen. If Martin’s character doesn’t recover the gold, it could send the world’s economy into the toilet! If you like Dean Martin music, knowing Bruce Lee helped do the fight chorography, and wanna see Dean Martin pull a helicopter out of a trunk of a car then this hilarious action flick is worth the watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.
The Mad Hatter (DVD) – A newer film that doesn’t know how to use Michael Berryman in the cast is a simple story of a professor leading a few of his students to a mansion for extra credit. Huge problem here kids, we all have seen this film way too many times before but the trailer and description on some websites make you believe we all were going to get some cool ‘Alice in Wonderland’ horror film?! Nope, not here instead you get to see how money is wasted on a film that should just be buried in the backyard or simply thrown out the window one night like I did with my copy of the ‘Black Christmas’ remake but that is for another time to explain as I give this foul smelling garbage that is called a horror film 0 stars.
House of Horrors (DVD) – A mid-40s black and white film about a struggling artist who saves a big ass human being that becomes known as “The Creeper” from drowning one evening. The artist shortly after embarks on his latest project: sculpting the face of “The Creeper” but is frustrated with his critics and says out loud “They should die”. So the big man or The Creeper goes around strangling critics. Once the artist understands this monster of a man will do anything he says to do the artist uses this new power to wipe the slate clean of his critics. Nothing like a good old monster flick but in this case an artist abusing his new found power as I give the flick 3 stars.
The Beast Must Die (DVD) – A wonderful film that isn’t exactly what you think it is about a man named Tom who wants to hunt the ultimate animal, the werewolf! The film starts off like ‘Surviving the Game’ but is a test as Tom is a rich man with a vision as he is a hunter who plans his hunts. Tom has spent an awful a lot of money to secure his mansion, place cameras out in the forest, and have sensors to know every move of the people he has invited to his place for the weekend. Why has he done this, well the people he has invited Tom believes one of them are a werewolf and he wants to hunt the beast. The film being in on the plot doesn’t shy away from this gimmick as they call it a detective story in the beginning and even have a werewolf clock about ¾’s the way into the film for the viewer to pick who the werewolf is? The film might seem a little corny by today’s standards but still an effective film worth viewing as I now know where ‘Howling V: The Rebirth’ stole its plot as I give this gimmicky but worthy werewolf entry 3 stars.
Spine Chiller (DVD) – An Indy retro-80s style anthology that was released a couple years ago that deserves your attention fellow yinzers. Okay, yes I know everyone is making an anthology (hell I am) and if you are doing an independent anthology production that is equal to telling people you have the ‘death curse’. But people let’s all get past that so you can enjoy this little Halloween feature that will make you throw this in your pile to watch every October! The anthology doesn’t have horror hosts but rather great story telling that has all the stories interconnecting and progressing into a fun, spooky, atmospheric ride through horror that doesn’t disappoint. The film plays it serious with all the spooky tales and I may not be a fan of the ending but this tale of Halloween is something I refuse to describe it too much because I feel it could be the next ‘ (2007) Trick ‘r Treat’ for independent fans… yes I went there as I give it 3 ½ stars.
Midnite Spares (DVD/YouTube) – An early 80s Australian film about a sprint car driver Steve Hall coming back home of sorts looking for his father only to find a ruined mechanic shop. Not discouraged Steve looks for his father and meets a lovely girl named Maria while racing the local circuit. But Steve comes to find out the towing business has become corrupt and his father may have been killed for not being a part of it. Lots of crazy ass stunts, a dirty Bruce Spence, and sprint car racing fill this adventurous action film as I give it 3 stars.
Driving Force (DVD/YouTube) – Flash Gordon gets into a tow truck war with Patrick Swayze’s brother in the Philippines and Daisy Duke proves she still had it going on for herself in 1989 or there just to be Sam Jones babysitter half the movie. Not enough for you look for Billy Banks trying way too hard to act in a film that no acting was required? Or as I like to call this flick “ Post-apocalyptic Tow Truck Wars” that is missing Michael Madsen for that extra spice as I give it 2 stars because it made me laugh several times.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
The Manson Family Massacre (DVD) – Or as I would to call this film “crap we already knew”… Anyway the film is set in 1992 after reacting the beginning of ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ with the Manson Family murders we are introduced to a young female musician who is looking to go darker with her music. Of course she lives in the place where the murders took place and it gets a little paranormal from there as the film does flashbacks of the Manson Family dealing with their drug deals and the fallout from them. Blah, blah blah, yinz all know the stories by now. There isn’t anything knew other than the short film about the musician that doesn’t know she is dreaming with most of the film being a reenactment like it was on the ID channel or something. I hate to say it folks but this crap can eat donkey shit as I give 0 stars.
Swim (Tubi) – Joey Lawrence and family are heading to their favorite rental property on the coast for a month of vacation. When they arrive the family quickly realizes their property manager dude sucks at his job and fixed nothing! And oh yeah there is a shark randomly stalking their vacation home but what else would you expect from a cheap boring Asylum flick. Yes kids a storm begins and soon the horrible stalker, the shark jumps into the home where the family is trapped and is forced to fend off the fiend until help comes since they didn’t know to leave during a horrible storm? As the water rises I’d hope for people to be eaten by this ridiculous shark but the body count is super low and boring. This is prime example of why I get more excited for random shark films ‘Shark Exorcist’ and ‘Ouija Shark’ as I give this 0 stars.
Bats the Awakening (DVD) – Apparently this UK film couldn’t afford Lou Diamond Phillips and went ahead anyway to establish a killer bat film with two guys sharing a girl in an abandoned home… Wait, what did PornHub make a horror movie? No fellow yinzers they did not but I will give kudos for one of the weirdest openings to a horror movie I have seen in quite some time as it made me question if I had the right film on. Anyhow a family returns to the family home (this wasn’t fully explained in the film plot but IMDB claimed there was a toxic spill, but there wasn’t anyone else in this village, Chernobyl???) They quickly figure out they must battle it out with the bat creature that lives in the attic or they should of just called Lou Diamond Phillips anyway as I give the film 1 star.
Black Friday (DVD) – An interesting thriller for oldie but goodie movie fans that stars Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff. A gangster has his brain transplanted into another man’s body to save a doctor’s friend. Of course there are side effects and the gangster has some debts to settle. Not a horror movie at all but this dynamitic duo is well worth the effort to seek out and enjoy as I give it 3 stars.
Naked Girl Murdered in the Park (DVD) – A supposedly long lost giallo from 1972 that recently got a release from Full Moon of all places. An older fellow has just taken out a huge ass insurance policy and within hours is found dead on an amusement ride. The insurance company is super curious and does not wanna pay out the dough as they begin their own investigation aside from the local authorities. The daughter of the man who seems to benefit the most from this death keeps getting strange phone calls and just wants to why her father was even at an amusement park. As the insurance investigator gets in deep with the family including the daughter and her sister (again is this another plot from PornHub or was this film already predicting the future of internet porn?!) he proceeds to finds answers but the bodies are also dropping. Giallos are not my usual cup of tea but I kind of liked this one as I gotta give it 2 ½ stars.
Blood Red Sky (DVD) – Think ’30 Days of Night’ on an airplane as the wife described it which I agree with her and that does not happen often. A plane lands in Scotland because the threat of terrorists and authorities has the plane surrounded with a boy coming out of the cargo hold area and no one else. Then the movie back tracks several hours to show how we got to this point. The plane leaves its destination with no issues as the film centers around a boy and his mother. The mother is heading to America with her child for a treatment that could help her with the rare condition she has… being a vampire! Anyhow Dominic Purcell and other hijackers have a different plan as they take over the plane once over the ocean and plan to blow it up once they have gotten what they came for. The mother is shot during the fracas trying to protect the boy and believes to be dead but her vampire powers kick in and you would have thought Dominic Purcell would have seen this coming? ‘Blade III’ folks he should know better? Once the vampire powers kick in the mother is all about kicking ass or eating hijackers to protect the boy. One problem she spread her virus to a complete psycho hijacker who turns some of his crew into immortals which led to me screaming at the TV a couple times, “we got to get these mother fucking vampires off the mother fucking plane”! Great story, lots of gore, the film runs a little long but another under the radar horror film out there that horror fans should be more than happy to eat up as I give it 3 stars.
Santo: The Fist of Death (DVD) – An early 80s Santo flick that was super boring as sisters fight over something cosmic called “The Almighty Star” and they talk to a C-3PO head that is their god. Meanwhile, Santo or man with no face comes to fulfill the prophecy but must ride a boat for what seemed 75% of the film before he faces off with the Gold Power Ranger which lasts a whole 30 seconds. This was super lame compared to past Santo films where he is suplexing werewolves in caves as I can only give this a ½ star.
A Dark Song (DVD) – Before all the ‘Hereditary’ bullshit there was this lesser known Irish horror film that made a splash at the festivals a few years ago. A woman who recently lost her child which we do not learn how exactly until later in the film is renting a home to set up a ritual. But not just any ritual, but something that deals with angels and demons and shit where she must set up everything perfectly and hires a man who has claimed to do three of these so-called rituals. This is all so this woman can see and talk to her son again as it has been beyond devastating loss she cannot get over. Sophia must painfully follow the procedure to go through each stage and follow instructions without question since this process can take months? As the torture becomes unbearable she is about to bail but quickly learns she must finish the ritual. If looking for crazy creatures and gore you will be watching this for the wrong reasons. Looking for a story driven horror film that literally focuses in on two characters to carry it for over 90 minutes this will the film you have been looking for as I give it 2 ½ stars.
The Last Mercenary (On Demand) – JCVD does it again in this action/comedy where he plays an old school mercenary named Richard who after 25 years comes out of hiding because a local dunce of a Paris police officer has made a clerical error on purpose. He stops monthly payments to a guy named Archie who just happens to be Richard’s son but doesn’t know it and has lost immunity from everything that he didn’t know he had. See a gangster who has watched ‘Scarface’ way too many times as stolen his identity so he can stay in France and sell drugs and the Paris police and government are involved also. Once Richard is back, he must save his son and stop the government or one dude that is still upset Richard plowed his wife 25 years ago before they all die! A hilarious French action/comedy that I could not stop laughing from beginning to end as I give JCVD’s latest venture 3 stars.
Lost in Cleveland (YouTube) – Steve Rudzinski’s latest short film about Ben and Blake who are “business partners” that travel to Cleveland for a movie gig? Ben is the actor and Blake is the partner that wanted to come along but bored as his partner can be out for long hours or days at a time during these movie shoots. Blake meets Steve the filmmaker while lurking around sadly around the hotel. The two hit it off immediately and discuss how they are very similar in how they view their relationships right now and decide to spend lots of time together. This 19 minute short is brilliant and for Indy fans who have not seen any of Steve’s past work this would be a great introduction to Steve Rudzinski and BPO films project libraries as they are some of the best talent the Indy film world has to offer as I give this 4 out of 4 stars! This and more can be found at www.silverspotlightfilms.com .
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
(We at Grossfest have missed yinz too so we have an event for yinz!)Brought to you by Willow Station Restaurant & Bar
Hey yinz looking for a cool little event to celebrate the season? Well how about you check out this event to meet some cool celebs, have some great food, and nice beverages on October 30th, 2021. This cool place opens at 2pm that Saturday. We will have a few guests from 2-3:30pm…
David and Diana Silvio of Kiss of Death Productions – They are independent film royalty as these two are behind such Indy cult classics “Meat for Satan’s Icebox” and “Fetish Dolls Die Laughing” among working on several other projects throughout the years writing, acting, directing!
Christine M. Soltis author of Solsticenightsky Productions & Radio – Author, actor, investigator, she does it all as she is known for her several wonderful books that cover everything from the paranormal to stories that makes rethink what is going on around you…
David Fairhead, Jess Weary, and Robert J Hoglund of Fairly Dark Productions – Authors, artists, radio host, music… Comic books, artwork, music, and some of the best post-apocalyptic stories you can ever read is what these fine people are all about!
Madeline Deering of NekroShark Films – A fresh face to the independent filmmaking world who didn’t just make a movie but a love letter to S.O.V. days of movies with her recent release of “Sprit Animal”! And several projects in the works…
REMEMBER YINZ, ADMISSION IS FREE! You can purchase and support by buying food and drinks through our sponsor Willow Station. Any books, movies, or artwork can be purchased through the celebs/guests we have there from 2-3:30pm. Guests are done at 3:30 but all are welcome to enjoy a great Pittsburgh restaurant and bar from 2-11pm that day.
SO … come hang out, meet a cool celeb to celebrate Halloween, and buy some amazing food or a beverage or two, see yinz there!
Endangered Species (DVD) – One of horror’s favorite directors Kevin S. Tenney found some time to direct this clone of ‘I Come in Peace’ that stars Arnold Vosloo, Eric Roberts, and John Rhys-Davies. This film was also released in some countries under the title ‘Earth Alien’. Anyway, Sully the detective and others are working on a case where the killer likes to kill but collects victims that are deemed “perfect”. Thus said killer is known as “The Hunter” and Sully must team with “Warden” the good alien to bring this dude down before his killing spree goes global! It is like this 2002 release was a direct-to-video flick that got lost for a decade then showed when everyone forgot it exists as I give the film 2 ½ stars.
Bigfoot (DVD) – A weirdo family flick directed by Kevin S. Tenney in 2009 that has one of the weirdest casts and plot that don’t seem to fit together. Richard Tyson and Angie Everhart are parents to a teenager named Percy who wants to impress the cute girl from school. An event presents itself for Percy to show up the school dropout/bully with the big truck that involves chasing Percy with the truck through the woods. Percy wrecks and the bully believes they (his sidekick and himself) have lost the kid so they turn back. Meanwhile, Percy knocked out gets rescued by Bigfoot who has left his dense forest where no one goes because of wildfires (or at least I think that is why). Percy and Bigfoot of course become friends, hangout together, and Percy at one point has to stand up to the bully with friends to save Bigfoot from the bully. The film is corny and hilariously interesting because it looks like someone from Tenney’s effects crew stole the Bigfoot costume from the ‘Harry and the Henderson’s’ film. This film is not a horror film by any means but a wonderful side trip worth watching for the mere weirdness this flick isn’t that old and never remember hearing about it as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Enemy Territory (DVD) – An Empire Pictures film I never knew existed that stars the likes of Tony Todd, Jan-Michael Vincent, and Ray Parker Jr. (yes, you heard me right). A white insurance dude is sent to the ghetto aka Lincoln Tower to get a signature on a big policy which translates into a huge commission for him. But whitey is in the wrong place at the wrong time because no one no matter what color a person is a gang called “Vampires” run the building! As the Vampires chase whitey through the building, whitey finds help from a telephone repair man who is a jack of all trades and believes this man needs saving. They work down level by level either to avoid the Vampires or find help from a willing resident. The film comes off like a campy siege movie that might not be as brutal as some movies of similar plot but still provides enough entertainment to pour through as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Martians Go Home (DVD) – A late 80s comedy… maybe, which has Randy Quaid as Mark Devereaux: writer and composer of music for commercials, films, TV shows, etc., but haven’t had that big break yet. After Mark heads to the cabin to work on his big time music and he is visited by a Martian as almost every other person on the planet at the same time. The Martians have shown up to create chaos in the world and in a short period they have done that. But what the Martians don’t anticipate is when Mark’s music is played backwards it sends the Martians home. If you enjoy some weird ass Randy Quaid stuff you have found your peak here as I give this feature 2 stars.
Pizza Girl Massacre (DVD) – I was so delighted to get my hands on this as it was one of the originals on my “Massacre list” that I have been trying to get a hold of to watch and review. Funny thing is this feature happens to be a found footage film about a documentary crew who were following a community theatre group who is rehearsing for their upcoming adaptation of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”. After Jason the director has hit on all the women in the theatre group they decide it is better to rehearse at a cabin in the middle of the woods. The documentary crew of course follows and we get a lot of hilarious weirdness of Jason the director interacting with the rehearsals… But everything changes during the bonding trip when they order pizza and Jason refuses to pay the bill because he claims the pizza is late? Or simply because the odd looking young pizza girl isn’t responding to a shirtless Jason who is still trying to get his grove on with someone! This of course makes the pizza girl disappear only to come back angry, armed with a pizza cutter and then unleash her psycho energy on the actors in the cabin. Best way to describe this fun mess is if ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ was a found footage film with a pizza girl… Great job of this bloody mess as it was well worth seeking out as I give it 3 stars.
The Creation of the Humanoids (DVD) – A fun post-apocalyptic flick from the 60s where humans are going extinct but believe the robots they built are to blame. But we come to find out the robots are actually trying to help but cannot stop the extinction of humans. Most likely a drive-in favorite as it has that feel to it but for the love of Rutger Hauer stick around for the last ten minutes as the movie gets really heavy. It makes you really think about this plot as gets more interesting than ever has a right to be as I have to give this film 3 stars.
Zillafoot (DVD) – A new independent feature written and directed by Anthony Polonia who uses the Godzilla storyline as the backdrop of this story about Zillafoot. Aliens come to Earth to release a monster to terrorize the humans. As the Army struggles with the fact aliens do exist and now there is a giant monster on Earth that threatens all of human kind, scientists head to the woods to investigate. Bad CGI, dumb military, rubber suit monsters to set up a sequel, and aliens rubbing boob-like computer instruments way too much in this feature are the highlights as I don’t know if they are spoofing Godzilla or paying homage to Godzilla in some weird way. I have seen better from lesser known independent filmmakers as I only could give this difficult film to get through 1 star.
The Last House on Massacre Street (DVD) – Most people that seen this flick in the 70s would know it as ‘The Bride’ but for me I like this title so much more. Barbara is the only daughter of a very rich man who runs a highly successful firm where Barbara’s latest beau (David) works at. Father doesn’t like she is with David and warns her about him but knows Barbara is way old enough to make her own decisions as she has just built a house that fits her personality. Barbara and David quickly get married and David doesn’t even wait to after the wedding day to bang his old fling when Barbara walks in on them during the wedding party. After a scissors incident Barbara disappears for two weeks and then begins her torture of David and his mistress. But what makes this film weird and maybe even like a dreamlike state was Barbara and David dead after the scissors incident and she still haunts him in the afterlife??? Oh yeah kids this movie was surprisingly good even after all these years later as I give this feature 3 stars.
Straight Edge Kegger (Blu-ray) – There is a shitload of extras for those of you enjoy Jason Zink’s film. We are introduced to Brad as he is straight-edge! He hangs out with a group of friends who are of the same belief or what he once thought as he is becoming bored of the “Straight Edge” life. That he and his group are not making a difference and believe maybe it is time for a change. This change slowly happens when Brad becomes friends with a dude named Sean who is into the same music but drinks and smokes weed. Brad tries Sean’s way and begins hanging out with him on a regular basis to the dismay of his former straight edge friends. Then one night Brad goes to a house party and meets a cute young lady named Maybe and the couple connect quickly. But this happiness is short lived as Brad’s former group has decided to crash the party and explain their beliefs in a harsher manner… It is simple, brutal, screwed up, and I like it as I give this bad ass flick 3 ½ stars.
The Day the Earth Stopped (DVD) – C. Thomas Howell writes and directs an Asylum project that someone should have stopped him from making this mistake. Two aliens crash land on Earth and several evil robots show up all over the world and it’s up to a military man in C. Thomas Howell to explain humanity to a hot ass alien babe or the world dies! Apparently Judd Nelson needed a paycheck and stopped in this turd which still didn’t make this boring mess any better as I give it 0 stars.
A Cure for Wellness (DVD) – An odd flick where old rich people go to a magical castle in the Swiss Alps to be cured of something. So Lockhart a young man who just got promoted is tasked with finding his CEO Mr. Pembroke at this place and brings his ass back to New York to sign off on a huge merger. But Lockhart finds much more as there is something about a father/daughter incest plot and people living 200 years longer after a fire. Honestly the movie started off interesting but slowly got dull with not much payoff. Now, I stayed with it to the end but felt like there should have been so much more but that might just be me as I am also not a fan of ‘Hereditary’ but let’s not go back down that rabbit hole as I give this 2 stars.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
The Alchemist (DVD) – A lost Empire Pictures flick from 1983 that has just shown up again recently on Full Moon Streaming and just to make it weirder the film was directed by Charles Band but only after the original dude was fired three days in. A woman who has visions of the past is driving cross country with her new hitchhiker buddy and stumble upon a man who is cursed. This cursed dude (Robert Ginty) swears revenge on an evil magic man whose curse does not allow the man to leave this dimension of existence. Visions, weird things that don’t make much sense, and “The Exterminator” make this rather unknown thriller a worthwhile watch as I give it 2 ½ stars.
The Devil’s Sword (DVD) – A super bizarre Indonesian film from 1983/1984 that was titled ‘Golok Setan’ in certain countries. A great young warrior is asked to do a favor for “The Crocodile Queen”. He is asked to remove a husband from a village that she wants for her sexual pleasures. The young man almost fails when his former buddy Mandala appears on a horse only curious to the carnage of the villagers. Mandala almost stops the kidnapping of the husband but is only misdirected by “The Crocodile Men”! This sets up the subplot of Mandala finding his master half dead and goes on his quest for revenge and retrieving the Devil’s Sword which is considered the most powerful weapon in the whole world. If any of this sounds interesting know that this film is non-stop action full of: black magic, Crocodile Queen, Crocodile Men, a sword to rule the world, a Cyclops cave creature, blood and guts by the bucket loads, over the top martial arts, and there is freakin’ laser beams coming from a warrior’s hands at one point in a fight! Grab your friends, grab the pizza and beer, because buckle up you are in for one the craziest films you have ever had the guilty pleasure of watching as I give it 3 stars.
Wrong Turn (Remake/On Demand) – Don’t know whose bright idea this was… but you are a dumb ass. Anyway six friends stop into a small Virginian mountain town to start their hiking vacation. They are warned to “Stay on the trail!” But of course the friends do not and have a terrible accident. One by one the group is being trimmed down by this “off the grid” village of folks who have been established in the woods since 1859 and call their settlement “The Foundation”. Six weeks later a father whose daughter was part of the group of six people gone missing goes investigating and is not happy with the locals as they just keep trying to scare him off. But this father refuses to give up and finds his daughter but they must fight to survive if they even have a chance of seeing civilization again… Outside of the glimmer of fake cannibals ¾ of the way into the film and the bad joke at the end about a backwoods family this film is not ‘Wrong Turn’. Not totally understanding why they used the title other to cash in but from what I have read the remake has gone unnoticed so it most likely should have just been called ‘The Foundation’. Wasn’t a fan of it having basically two endings but I still give this bootleg ‘Wrong Turn’ cash-in 2 ½ stars but I still say yinz could have done better?
Child in the Night (DVD) – A 1990 TV movie where a kid Luke (Elijah Wood), sees his father murdered on the boat dock. Jackie a psychologist is brought in by the police unwillingly to get Luke to talk as his father’s death has left the kid in shock. The police investigation hinges on the kid snapping out of it and talking to the good doctor so she can relay the answers. Great cast for this TV thriller and you can see why Elijah Wood was gonna be good early on as I give it 3 stars.
Corpsing (DVD) – A 2012 independent flick that also known as ‘Lady Frankenstein’ and for good reason as the film is a combo of ‘Frankenstein’ and ‘Night of the Living Dead’. A curious doctor is invited to a sick woman’s lab where she explains her experiment that could change the world but has also left her in a wheelchair. She was a military scientist who thought she was being held back and felt more comfortable working out of her home lab on her ultimate experiment… Her goal is to remake a person from the right corpses? She completed the task, the experiment was going well, he was learning, things progressed, she fell in love with him, and then things began to fall apart unless the experiment was able to feast on living things. Once she allows the experiment to bite her she follows the downward spiral into horror that knows no end. There is only one ending for all involved and it will be bad but that doesn’t stop this independent feature from pulling out all the stops to suck you in and make you feel the experiment and the scientist as I give it 3 stars.
Aquarium of the Dead (DVD) – Hey kids ‘Zoombies’ has another sequel! A shipment of the tainted animal meds is sent from the Eden Zoo to the Aqua Zoo and now there is a re-animated octopus fucking the place up. As things lockdown as humans are being attacked the Aqua Zoo officials most figure out how to stop this horror or at least next time dispose of the bad animal meds. This movie is bad, not a good bad either as it has no redeeming value or rewatch value as I give it 0 stars.
The Butcher Surgeon (YouTube) – Another dark short film from the duo Philip Brocklehurst and Alex Wesley about a brilliant surgeon not making his therapy session. The good surgeon documents his spiral into madness of what he has done before his great suicide. A wonderfully dark and brutal short from the duo that makes you wanting more as I give the short film 3 out of 4 stars.
Teacher Shortage (DVD) – It is yearbook time and a female student is ruined when she is listed as “Ugly Skank” in the yearbook. After being laughed at she runs for the girls’ restroom where she commits suicide. This of course sets up the story some time later where teachers are having meetings to discuss how to be a modern teacher and how their style needs to change to help the modern student. But one by one the faculty is being murdered in horrible ways until the killer is revealed. Is the filmmaker trying to make a political statement on the state of teaching these days or just exploring another way to make an Indy slasher? Either way the film has a great cast, a solid plot, but there is something missing that holds this film back? I am not totally sure if it’s just the music or maybe just needing a different ending but throughout I just felt the film was missing that extra something to make it memorable as I give the film 2 stars.
Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon: The Cannibals and Zombies Collection (DVD) – Addison Binek is riffing a collection of movies again but these are not just any movies… They are zombie and cannibal movies! What makes this a unique rough ride is Addison takes you through some the lesser known, grittiest, maybe even crappiest off the wall flesh-eating hilarity you have ever witnessed. You’ll laugh, you will most likely cry over what Addison and you will sit through but it will be fun as I give this collection 4 stars as usual.
I Saw What You Did (DVD) – A 1965 film about a couple teenage girls crank calling people for fun as the parents are away. (Yes kids, this was a thing before everyone had a cell phone. Now yinz just call them “spam”.) Anyway as they are causing hijinks throughout the evening of calling several people they eventually cause a death of a woman whose husband Steve kills her in the shower when she sees if he would like to take the call. Just to keep the prank going the young duo calls Steve again to inform him “I saw what you did”. This sends Steve in a panic rage and eventually kills the neighbor woman he was having an affair with. Surprisingly a very harsh plot for 1965 unless you were watching a Hitchcock or a Hammer film in my opinion. Now Steve is on the prowl for the young lady who called his house as he must erase her also as I give the film 3 stars.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
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Top Knot Detective (DVD) – This is a documentary about an oddity of sorts, a samurai series in the early 90s that became a cult hit in Asia and Australia. The series was only on for one year but in places like Japan their TV seasons run 50 episodes long so that are about 2 or so seasons in the U.S. The series is about a man doing a lot of walking and seeking revenge for his master (sounds like Kung Fu with Carradine). Full disclosure this wasn’t your typical series as this had a character dressed as a penis, giant robots, odd dialogue that shouldn’t be in the script or most times wasn’t, ninjas, horrible stunt work, and the show looked like something one of us weirdos would have found late night on public access. But you will find yourself only being more interested in this weirdness as the main star was such a joke in the industry but big bucks for the TV screen and all involved… Then it gets weirder when the main star is the main suspect of the murder of the head honcho who finances the show then escapes Japan dressed as a woman! One of the weirder things I have ever watch and I give it 3 stars just for that.
Amityville Poltergeist (DVD) – A low budget flick using the “title” of course for no apparent reason centers around a young man named Jim who is looking to make some cash. Jim finds a housesitting job for $100 a night for a weekend. He doesn’t have to do anything except maybe listen to the spooky warning from Grandma “to leave”. After a night or two Jim begins to experience some strange events and is unsure if he is dreaming or actually experiencing unexplained events. The film isn’t bad as much the filmmaker put a full film on screen? Feels more like a 20 minute short film than it would be a full feature as I give it 2 stars.
Special Bulletin (DVD) – A 1983 made-for-TV docudrama that starts off with local news coverage of a dock worker strike in Charleston, South Carolina but as the news coverage continues that early in the morning things take a strange twist? Cops arrive and someone is shot and from the local news media covering it moves in but they learn quickly this isn’t a worker strike but a protest by a Dr. Bruce Lyman. His protest with several others is on this boat wanting the government to disarm or he believes nuclear war will happen very soon. Lyman makes it clear in his plea he wants U.S. and Russia to disarm before they kill us all. Even though there is news coverage the government doesn’t take the protest seriously until Lyman guarantees it isn’t a hoax. Also if he does not get all the modules for the nuclear warheads in South Carolina he will dentate the small nuclear device they have? A wonderfully serious film like ‘Threads’ and ‘The Day After’ that I believe needs to be seen by many more than just a weirdo movie fan like myself to understand this subject matter is still very relevant. And let’s not forget there is a young Michael Madsen in here for a quick couple seconds as I give the film 4 stars.
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (On Demand) – The Warrens are back at it again as this film is set in July 1981 where an exorcism goes sideways. During the exorcism Ed Warren has a heart attack and the 18 year old Arnie who was there gets possessed and only Ed knows about it and wants to prove it once feeling better. Not too much time passes as Arnie becomes part of a murder but claims he was possessed and the Warrens try to prove this in the court of law. But even with Arnie in prison the spirit has followed him and continues to haunt him as he has been cursed by a Satanist. This path leads the Warrens down a path where they may have solved several other murders as a weird Satanist totem had been found at the scene of other murders that baffled police? The film is better than most paranormal crap out there but this entry felt more like a love story than the Warrens chasing demons and spirits as I give it 3 stars.
The Phantom Empire (Blu-ray) – A wonderful B-movie cast directed by Fred Olen Ray in what I believe took six days to finish this film where a woman looking for treasure hires a couple hacks to help lead her through a cave. Michelle Bauer as the hottest cave bunny ever, Robbie the Robot, horrible looking monsters, and an alien in S&M gear played by Sybil Danning await the group as they enter. I have reviewed this B-movie gem before but it has now got upgraded to Blu-ray! I thought the Blu-ray looked a little better and has the all the extras from the original DVD but I believe the newest thing besides the transfer might be the home movies of the location shoot? I also believe the commentary track is the same but it is something that I believe Indy filmmakers need to revisit just to listen to the knowledge Fred spews out on how to do things, rent stuff, casting, etc. More than ever this commentary of telling stories about ‘The Phantom Empire’ are so relevant and fun to hear as I give it 4 stars. The Blu-ray and DVD are very hard to find but the slightly upgraded Blu-ray can be found at www.makeflix.com .
Shoot (DVD) – A 1976 dramatic film with a solid cast where Rex and his four buddies are heading up to his cabin for a weekend of hunting. No animals but a nice day of hanging out in the woods but until they are about to start back when they come across another group of hunters across a stream. An odd stare and the shooting begins as one man wounded in Rex’s group and one dead for the group across the stream. Rex and friends debate the event for hours and whether they should go to the hospital, police, or nothing? After a night of resting on it they have a meeting to keep quiet but Rex cannot let it go so he investigates who died and if the other group reported it to the authorities? When Rex finds out it was just a hunting accident he convinces the group that the other group will want revenge and they got to beat them to the punch as they must go all-out war! A great “how far will he or they go in this case to be sure” kind of film as I give it 3 stars.
Cleopatra Jones (DVD) – Another must see Blaxploitation film from 1973 that has a woman Cleopatra Jones as a special agent who is helping the U.S. cracks down on drugs. She has just ordered one of the largest poppy seed fields in the world to be burned. But when she returns home Cleopatra has made an enemy in a big time drug dealer named “Mommy” who wants her dead for ruining her supply chain. But you don’t mess with Cleo when she has a car door full of guns even if you have corrupt cops on your side, Cleo has the great Bernie Casey on hers as I give this action-packed beauty 3 ½ stars.
Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies (DVD) – An experimental drug Quadoxin is being used on crops of a small town to hopefully help the crops flourish… but we all know that isn’t going to happen. After some bad luck between a dead drug dealer and his three young customers and a random monstrous zombie, they all show up at the local music festival. Now, a group of friends must try to survive the onslaught of zombies wanting flesh in this low budget feature. I wanted to like this film but it just felt very forced if that makes sense and plus I couldn’t stop comparing it to 1980s ‘Toxic Zombies’ as I give it 1 ½ stars.
The Superdeep (On Demand) – The Russian military gets involved with a secret drilling facility after some miners and a research team go missing. The small military force is led by Yury who wants his top dog Anya to get in there and get the samples to take to the surface for research that may help the Russians in the race with the U.S. When they arrive a scientist there has seen what was found 12 kilometers down and feels it should not be shared with humans… It should be buried. The team searches deeper into the facility trying to retrieve the samples and realize they are up against a killer fungus that could wipe out the human race. I like that it feels like the Russian version of ‘The Thing’ but felt it was too long and reminded me more of ‘Leviathan’ when it could have been so much more as I give it 2 stars.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
The Ninth Configuration (DVD) – For me and I believe who made this film this was more of an experiment or just a film for the film snobs more than your average viewer. A castle out in the Pacific Northwest is secret government project on the mentally insane as many Vietnam soldiers either lost their shit completely or were just faking it to get out of the war. A few years have passed since the end of the Vietnam War but there is still a few of these research places around. A new guy named Colonel Vincent Kane shows up with a new attitude on how to help the patients get over their troubles. Throughout the film we see several hilarious characters and there are a lot of famous faces involved with this project. But has things unravel story wise we come to learn more about Col. Kane and his history of how he got there. In the end for me it took a long time to get to the ending you see coming a mile away. Not to say it is bad but way too much build up for something you already knew coming. Again this is one of those movies if you are an average movie watcher it is probably best for you to keep moving if you are a movie snob or just love oddities like this existing it will be worth your two hours as I give it 2 stars.
Redwood Massacre : Annihilation (DVD) – Apparently the filmmaker got some bad advice and made a sequel to a sub-par massacre film that its star is bootleg tater sack Jason but anyhow ten years have passed (story wise) and someone has wrote a book about it. Tom Dempsey’s daughter disappeared ten years ago in the woods and with the legend of this weird mass murderer (never minds it was a deranged farmer in the first film) and his fruitless search he writes a book about the legendary killer. During a book signing an obsessed dude named Max visits Tom and shows him he has evidence that the killer still exists and where to search? Hey guess what Max is psycho (didn’t see that coming) and Danielle Harris also a daughter of Tom has every right to not to trust Max as they make their trek to investigate an abandoned military base where they find the killer’s lair. From there the movie only goes completely off the rails of being a government experiment and the filmmaker watching the ‘Friday the 13th’ remake with the bat cave and ‘Cabin in the Woods’ wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much before doing this lackluster sequel as I give it 2 stars.
Frogs (DVD) – I got bored and wanted to watch this so-called horror movie with mustache-less Sam Elliot from 1972 and see if it is still boring as hell? And yes it is! Pickett Smith (Sam Elliot) is a photographer who is taking pictures of garbage on a lake and this swamp when he is knocked out of his canoe by a couple of rich siblings. They apologize, get him dry, and force to come to a picnic for a rich fool who just bitches about all the frogs everywhere (who cares if you live in the middle of a FUCKING swamp). Pickett Smith believes something is up when the frogs friends begin to kill the family one by one as I give this boring flick 2 stars.
Curse of the Undead (DVD) – In this 1959 flick a little ahead of its time and an interesting idea where a cowboy vampire shows up in this western after the Carter family falls on hard times and might have to sell to an asshole Buffer. The cowboy vampire comes calling Miss Carter after she posts hiring a gunman for $100 to take out Buffer and his cohorts. But Preacher Dan is pissed and believes this isn’t right in the name of god and must fight the evil that is helping Miss Carter! The film has a pacing issue but if you get past that it is a fun horror western that a completely new at the time as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Miranda Veil (DVD) – We are introduced to a young man named Soren who is inspiring to be a serial killer out of Barstow, California because he is hearing a voice telling him “to kill”. After a failed attempt the voice continues to push until a young pretty woman named Miranda on her birthday weekend is spotted by Soren and its decided “she is the one.” Soren stalks his victim Miranda and kidnaps her out to the middle of the desert to play with her. Soren gets his kicks and the voice screams for him to do it and Soren slices Miranda’s neck open but that is where the movie really begins because after Miranda dies and Soren celebrates… it happens! Miranda is alive again and both are literally in a crazed confusion about it to the point Soren drives an axe through the skull of Miranda to kill her a second time and again she is alive! From here it becomes a trippy road trip movie as killer and victim eventually come to an agreement to begin their long trek back to Barstow. They try to understand Soren’s voice in his head, Miranda’s X-men ability of not dying, and where do they fit into this universe now? Along the way they meet a man in a bunny suit, a guy who talks to a fox, and Miranda talks to a ‘force’ in a cloak and an animal skull. I wasn’t a fan of the ending but this Indy film was definitely something different and that you cannot say that too often about a low budget film. Most likely you haven’t heard about the film because it is really hard to define what it is kinda is like a 1990 ‘Nightbreed’ thing but on a smaller scale. There is enough interesting and trippy shit happening with this project not including the ending that if this was made in the late 80s or early 90s I could easily see this as a “Midnight Movie” but those do not exist any longer. This movie might take a year or two to really find the audience to appreciate this project as I give it 3 out 4 stars.
Macon County Line (DVD)– A mid-70s film based on a true story from 1954 where we are introduce to two young gentlemen who are just causing trouble everywhere they go as I believe they are on their way to New Orleans. Along the way the gentlemen pick up an attractive lady and then their car begins to have a fuel pump problem. Not being able to get it fixed properly and the car dying in the middle of the night they decide they will “figure it out in the morning” but meanwhile two very shady criminals pull up to a home of a deputy. These two bad dudes rob the family home, torture, and kill the wife. When the deputy comes home he sees the car with the fuel pump problem he wants revenge against our two favorite drifting buddies who had nothing to do with that night’s events. The film is a little dull with the buildup but gets real interesting real quick when the deputy comes home to a bedroom full of blood and a dead wife as I give it 2 stars.
Moonshine County Express (DVD) – Imagine a 1977 movie with women as the main roles of ‘Dukes of Hazzard’ TV show? A lot familiar faces pop up as a moonshiner kills his competitor one morning in the mountains and blows up his operation. But the dead moonshiner has three vengeful daughters who were not left any money but whiskey from back in the day that shouldn’t exist. The daughters go into business just to undercut the jagoff that wronged their daddy and maybe make a few bucks for a fresh start somewhere. It is a bloody redneck war from beginning to end with John Saxon as a moonshine driver along for the ride as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Witchcraft (DVD) – This Lon Chaney Jr. flick is from 1964 and has the great actor as part of the Whitlock clan. The Whitlock clan’s graves are being bulldozed at the countryside cemetery that the Whitlock family has used for hundreds of years. Business partners are trying to move along progress and part of it is moving this old cemetery which sounds like a ‘Poltergeist’ prequel? Anyhow the Whitlock clan isn’t happy and one of the graves is for an undead witch that hasn’t been around for a few hundred years but is pissed because she has been disturbed. Now the notorious undead witch is seeking revenge by killing the persons involved one by one. The movie can be a little slow but has a creepy side to it even if it is over 50 some years old as I give the creepy little horror film 2 ½ stars.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
The Beast Beneath (DVD) – In a small town of Desert Valley, California an earthquake wakens its residents in the middle of the night with its shakes and simmers but nothing is thought of it. But this event has caused a monster to emerge from its slumber in the desert and it is time for the beast to snack on its new food source… humans! After a few people go missing the local authorities get involved and act like the disappearances are not that big of a deal but the mayor knows and wants it kept quiet. The beast is brought to the attention of a brilliant scientist (Brinke Stevens) and she is trying to work on a quick answer for the monstrous problem but when someone being attacked is caught on social media the mayor and police have no choice but to blow it up. The build-up of this low budget monster flick was a lot of fun and on par with what we used to get from SyFy Channel in the mid-2000s but the ending or non-ending was not the payoff I think viewers will be looking for as I give the film 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Stale Popcorn & Sticky Floors (DVD) – Another cool documentary that covers some of the memorable grindhouse, horror, and B-movie titles from the 70s and 80s we grew up watching. There is interviews and stories from such stars of iconic films such as Lynn Lowry, Camilla Carr, Brinke Stevens, and a host of others. And people let’s not forget Frank Farel is on here telling more stories about one of my favorite films of all time ‘Spookies’! The doc separates itself enough from others as the stars tell stories about one film that was picked such as an ‘I Spit on Your Grave’. This title doesn’t come off as interviews as much as you the viewer just grabbed a beer with said star and you are ready for story time and for that I give it 4 out of 4 stars.
Cult of the Cobra (DVD) – A bunch of U.S. service men on leave pay a hundred bucks to be sneaked into a secret meeting to witness a woman who has the ability to change into a snake. To their disbelief she does but one of them tries to take a photo and a scuffle ensues and the service men attempt to kidnap this special oddity. She gets away and of course the men are all warned they will all die but they don’t care as their deployment is over and they are heading home for good. Some time passes by and the men settled into their homes back in New York not knowing the precious snake woman has traveled there to seek her revenge. One by one the men fall but the snake woman might be having a change of heart as one of the men has taken time to be very friendly with her let’s say as I give this mid-50s flick 2 stars.
Death Rink (DVD) – The film is set in the year 2001 at the “Roller King!” roller skating rink where Rachel the manager is hanging out with the younger employees for an impromptu birthday party. They play games, smoke tea bags, eat pizza, discuss the lawsuits against the roller rink, along with wondering who in the hell is the person or ex-employee that calls every night to yell “Satan” into the phone. Things are going great and the fun is starting to whine down as everyone wants to leave at some point including Rachel as her boyfriend finally called her back… But an unwanted guest has found their way into the rink while they close up shop. This unknown individual slowly kills the employees one by one. Everything about this movie screams I should love it. Now don’t get me wrong this isn’t a horrible horror film as it had a great cast, great dialogue, some blood, great location, but it all just didn’t add up to success for me as I thought this film could have pressed the gas and gone over the top? Instead I felt the film found a way to limp over the finish line in the end as I give it 2 stars.
The Earth Dies Screaming (DVD) – This is a quick mid-60s post-apocalyptic flick where one day people around the world all die at the same time except for a select few. After a small group of people find themselves holed up at a hotel they figure out they were not in the open when this all happened and believe it could have been a gas attack? To make matters worse generic alien robots walk and a “zombie pace” and cannot be killed by guns but their asses are no match for a jeep. And just when the humans thought they were screwed enough, “oh yay if you are killed by an alien they zombified your ass and control you.” The only hope is if these select few humans figure out how to stop these slow ass trash cans from taking over the world as I give it 2 stars.
Brimstone Incorporated (DVD/Vimeo) – An interesting low budget anthology film directed by Indy vets James L. Edwards and Brad Twigg. The three stories are straight forward serious horror stories which are usually hard to pull off in the low budget world but this crew did it as the titles are: First Date, Mama’s Boy, and Skunkweed. And the wraparound story is called Temper and Associates but we will get to that in a bit. Without spoiling too much First Date gets a little uncomfortable (watch for the kiss you’ll understand), second story Mama’s Boy is not exactly what you think it is which makes it a pleasant surprise, and the third story is about a man who may have been given bad weed? Or was it? But the most interesting thing was the wraparound story as these days seems to be a throw away in the Indy world in my opinion. But these fine filmmakers took a cue possibly from 70s British anthologies and made the wraparound their strength as a character from each story is being reviewed by Gregory to decide where they will fit in “down here or in the corporation”. The Gregory character was actually my favorite thing of the anthology but this film is based more on the great performances from the actors than just throwing gallons of blood and gore against the wall. This is an anthology I will be pointing out to people for years to come as this cast was one of the best I seen for an Indy anthology in years. So if you are looking for a great not subpar Indy anthology look no further than this new feature Mr. Edwards and Mr. Twigg as I give it 3 ½ out of 4 stars.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Boys from County Hell (Shudder) – An Irish horror film where a small town called Six Mile Hill is the center of the story as legend goes Bram Stoker used the location to write his famous story. The local legend claims that the real Dracula story happened there as a landmark of stones marks the grave of the vampire or at least that is what’s been told for many years in those parts. One drunken night two friends strolling home from the pub fall into the landmark and one of them is speared by a farm animal. Nothing physical came from the grave but blood seem to disappear from the corpse. Eugene quickly understands he may accidentally set free the vampire legend on the small town and must now try to bury the bloodthirsty monster that doesn’t play by the usual vampire rules. Fun monstrous times to be had in this Irish treat as I give it 3 stars.
The Frozen Ghost (DVD) – A stage mentalist played by Lon Chaney Jr., has a skirmish with an audience member that he believes caused the man’s death. Retiring the act, trouble seems to follow the mentalist as while at the museum he gets in a tussle with someone who dies and believes he did it again. For me this wasn’t the best Lon Chaney Jr. of course for fans who just need something a little lighthearted you will enjoy this feature as I give it 2 stars.
Great White (On Demand) – Pearl Air Charters is a one charter plane business run by a sexy couple who takes people on tours of areas like “Hell’s Reef”. When on their latest tour they land so a couple can have a late lunch it is quickly spoiled by finding half of a corpse of the beach. The small group realizes someone could still use help out in the ocean they jump back in the small plane for a limited time because of fuel to search. They spot the boat and when they land on the ocean near that is when things go bad for the group and the suspense builds as they wait for rescue. With only the life raft the group must hope they can paddle back to the island before the sharks stalk and eat them for a snack! A lot of buildup in this film, think ‘The Shallows’ but with a few more people and trying to feel a little more like ‘Jaws’ as I give it 3 stars.
Bigfoot vs. Illuminati (On Demand) – An animated film I had so much anticipation for being a fun stupid film to enjoy and talk about. Instead I got a horrible boring dud. Many years into the future where the Earth is basically dead and humans are about to go extinct as they are at war with aliens. Humans only hope is Bigfoot who happened to listen to rap music way too much. Oh and Bigfoot tag teams with a Van Helsing clone… this was dumb as I give it 0 stars. I guess I need to stick with ‘Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper’?
Benny Loves You (On Demand) – Meet Jack, a 35 year old who lives with his parents and is a junior toy designer whose parents still celebrate Jack’s birthday as if he was a child. But this year is different as the parents die accidentally while preparing for his birthday. Nothing is going right for Jack so now alone he decides he wants to improve his life and this means getting rid of everything including his childhood toy that he still has. The toy’s name is Benny and doesn’t like it too much he is about to be thrown out but also wants Jack to be happy again? From here Jack is sent into a downward spiral of death and despair as anyone that comes to the home or Jack doesn’t like Benny slices and dices them. As the bloodbath ensues in a weird way Benny helps Jack get his job back with new designs based on Benny… The horror film is a wonderful insane oddity of gore that needs to be witnessed as this will be one of the best horror films I will watch in 2021 and for that I give it 4 stars.
Fulci for Fake (DVD) – A Severin Pictures biopic about a man about to dive head first into becoming the famous Italian filmmaker Lucio Fulci. In order to accomplish becoming the legend he must learn more about him and interviews several friends and colleagues of Fulci’s taking the viewer on a ride through stories of the beginnings of Fulci’s work. To of course what made Fulci a household name among horror movie fans as I give the documentary 3 stars.
Live Evil (DVD) – An old vampire hunting priest has his eyes locked on these four vamps that have run together for a long time now. The priest wants to slice and dice this group as he has tracked them everywhere at any cost. The group keeps moving around recently as humans more and more have tainted blood and the vampires fight amongst each other in the effort of finding “pure blood”. The vampires head to L.A. for a last ditch effort of getting pure blood from a dealer named Max. The vampire hunter is played by the legendary Tim Thomerson so imagine Jack Deth retired to become a priest who hunts vamps with a late 90s direct-to-video vibe. A fun watch with some gore and some audio glitches but well worth checking out this Mark Terry produced film that also has appearances by Tiffany Shepis, Ken Foree, and Elissa Dowling as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Feaster Sunday (DVD) – A not so typical independent holiday horror film where a man, Dr. Gideon Lear is putting forth his best effort to put on “The Passion” play at the community theater that hasn’t happened in twenty years. Lear wants perfection out of his actors as he explains in his recent interview with Eddie from the local Public Access Channel. Lear nor his actors seem to be too concerned with the history of the play as “the show must go on”. Meanwhile Eddie sees someone he knows among the actors, Tess, and they reconnect after Tess is dropped by her boyfriend Reen because he needs his full attention on playing Jesus. As time goes on actors for the play disappear, warnings for the play “not to go on” are ignored, and Dr. Lear begins his struggle to keep the production together. There is a whole lot of crazy going on in this flick that just made me giddy to watch! Wonderful casting choices (Dave Parker as the original Jesus, brilliant), great script, cool puppets, and a low budget production that felt bigger than it was should get some mainstream respect as I give this excellent production 3 ½ out of 4 stars.
You can find all of my books at www.lulu.com just search for Gross Movie Reviews or Tim Gross there!
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
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