This website is dedicated to horror movies (independent and mainstream), beer, Full Moon, Spookies, Graveyard Shift, Leprechaun sequels, massacre films and watching every god damn horror film ever made or die trying!
Onyx the Fortuitous The Talisman of Souls (DVD) – This is an odd bird of a movie where the plot revolves around a fanboy character Marcus who still lives at home with mom (Barbara Crampton) and works at the local “Meat Mart”. But Marcus is really into this dude Bartok who worships Satan that has a contest of where five selected people get the chance to hang out in Bartok’s mansion. The five from all different walks of life all very into Bartok (Jeffrey Combs) the Great make it to the mansion for the ritual. The goal of this ritual is to bring forth the evil god Abaddon for immortality and Bartok to rule. But the five get curious and wonder what is really up with Bartok as they have odd dreams as they believe there is a prophecy about this event as not all Bartok can be true? Yeah the movie has a few flaws but we get Jeffrey Combs coming off as a doppelganger of Michael Ironside in ‘Turbo Kid’, Barbara Crampton being delightful as always, ghouls, monsters, and the vibe of this being some weird mid-90s fever dream I once had when I was 20. This movie might be odd but it was an absolute hoot to watch so give it a chance as I give it 4 stars.
The Stalking (Amazon) – Jeff Kirkendall and Mark Polonia keep it quick where small town America has a witch that casts a dark spell on the town near the Halloween holiday. Now the unsuspecting townsfolk are being attacked by killer sunflowers as I give it 2 stars as I felt there was more to this movie we never got to saw? Have to give these two credit for having a SOV movie going for that 50s drive-in or old horror host movie vibe.
Werewolf Santa (Tubi) – First this UK holiday flick had me at the title but second Joe Bob Briggs doing a narration or a little story telling at the beginning of the film to set it all up about Lucy and Christmas Eve was wonderful. Lucy runs a YouTube show about monster hunting that is viewed by many until she has caught Santa being bitten by a werewolf. Now Lucy wants to have Santa turned back before she has to kill Santa Claus. The film has its moments but feels choppy at best most times but I still gotta give it 2 ½ stars.
Frankie Freako (On Demand) – The guy known for ‘The Void’ and ‘Psycho Gorman’ decides to do a weird reboot of ‘Ghoulies’ if it was smashed together with ‘Cabbage Patch Kids’ with John Carl Buechler smiling somewhere. The film has a young married man Connor who is considered a square with his boring ass life until he sees a party line ad for Frankie Freako. You know one of those 1-900#s that he calls and suddenly Connor’s life is turned upside down after Frankie Freako and friends visit to party! But that is only half of the problem as the president from Frankie’s world has sent things to crossover to capture and bring them all back. Yes the film is fun and has the vibe of a failed 90s Saturday morning pilot for Nickelodeon but throughout the film there is just that little something missing to put it over the top for me. Even if I give it only 3 stars I do believe there will be others that enjoy this project more than I did but no matter what I do know John Carl Buechler would be proud knowing stuff like this exists!
The Bouncer (all streaming platforms) – A gritty, fast-paced action film that keeps it simple about Frank Sharp, a man with a past who is trying to hide in plain sight being a bouncer for the good money. Frank plans on paying for his mother’s hospital bills but it’s not ideal when you are a wanted man. Mr. Sharp doing what he believe is right even though he was warned to let it go makes a sharp turn into having life in constant hard mode as he rescues a young woman Sylvia from a mob boss Mr. Kane who has slapped her around. Frank quickly figure out this isn’t going to be easily forgotten and must stay hidden until he can plan an escape as Mr. Kane is an unforgiving Russian mob dude. This international project does a smart with its great use of locations, great casting, tight and exciting action scenes to keep it entertaining for all as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars. P.S. a reminder again not all cool action films need an overblown budget and star the Rock.
Santa Isn’t Real (Tubi) – It is Christmas time of course and Santa has come down the chimney to eat your holiday cookies and kill your ass or that is what happened to Nikki last Christmas Eve. Now spending almost a full year in a coma and its believed her near death experience was a suicide attempt she wakes to find friends wanting to take her away to a hidden cabin for fun, booze, and reconnecting. But Nikki is nervous rightfully so as she believes Santa is real and will kill all of them. The biggest problem with this holiday film is within five minutes of it starting you know everything that is going to happen including the ending with no holiday charm or anything. Expected fun holiday horror with a title like that but felt like Santa passed over this one as you should too this holiday season as I gotta give it a fat jolly zero stars.
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Infinite Santa 8000 (Blu-ray) – One of my favorite Indy releases over the years is an animated feature from two brilliant minded people Michael Neel and Greg Ansin. Funny thing is it has been about ten years since I first reviewed this masterpiece of cinema coming to DVD. Now finally getting the special edition treatment through a great company Synapse Films more people will get to witness the glorious movie that I have talked about for years. This is a mind-blowing post-apocalyptic animation set thousands of years into the future where Santa still thrives or now just survives looking for people who still have the Christmas spirit. We begin with a narration to catch up the viewer “of how we got here” as Cyborg Santa is about to ‘Thunderdome’ with another in order to win sacks of meat as food is scarce in this world. Yes folks, our future are super violent, robots have taken over earth, and Santa must fight to survive but he still lives in the North Pole! What keeps the jolly bastard going these days is a robot girl named Martha who when not training loves to hang out with Santa in his workshop and hear stories of Christmas past. But after a mysterious visitor one evening Martha is kidnapped from Santa’s Ranch and we are off to the races with complete chaos as Santa and his robotic reindeer jump into action to chase down an evil rabbit! Martha’s and our holiday hero discover this is only the beginning as a thing from the past Dr. Shockleton and her mutant army are on course to not only to rid the world of the Santa menace but to reshape the world into her own. For movie nerds out there let me break this down: imagine elements of the film Wizards, Adult Swim programming, scenes from the original Terminator and Mad Max films, and a character that is a straight up an old school Bond villain, and a soundtrack that feels like lost audio tracks from early Slayer mashed together into this beautiful piece of animation that in the end is all about the Christmas spirit! And what is even better is this is the director’s cut with extended and new scenes added including a little look into who Dr. Shockleton is after credits?! To me what makes this even more special is the short interviews with the voices of the cast so you get to see and hear who these talented people are, the original 13 part web series of this project, audio commentary from the dynamic duo themselves Michael Neel and Greg Ansin, music videos, plus more than anything this feature being on Blu-ray I believe makes everything in this feature pop and look even better than it ever did when watching it ten years ago on YouTube and such. This brilliant piece of holiday cinema will make a great addition to horror fans’ collections but also yearly holiday movie watching for years to come as my opinion has never changed giving it 4 out of 4 stars and now officially can be found at www.synapsefilms.com .
Space Sharks (On Demand) – In this Indy CGI-fest space debris falls to earth to have killer plants killing hikers in the mountains and a weird POV camera that is supposed to be a space shark stalking people. Not a whole lot happens in this 60 minute feature and that is without the long ass credits but besides you falling asleep there is of course a conspiracy about space sharks. Honestly, I was expecting more with a title like that but was very disappointed as this movie should give its cool title back as I give it 0 stars so consider yourself warned.
Crackcoon (Amazon) – Yes, admittedly I was a little critical of this recent Brad Twigg feature because I thought it missed the boat (Cocaine Bear)? Well thank Mr. Twigg for proving me wrong as the film opens with a quite fun death scene as super crack has hit the streets! This new strain of drugs is turning people into crazed killers so imagine when a couple drug dealers throw their stash out the window and a raccoon gets ahold of it. The drugged murder-crazed animal wastes no time going on a murderous rampage all over the mountain where it lived. Meanwhile a forest ranger who has no business being married to Jessa Flux just wants the small town sheriff to take these animal attacks serious. The story is outrageous, loved the cast (the Frankie character steals the film), hilarious kills, and special thanks to filmmaker Brad Twigg for restoring my faith that a good Indy movie can be made out of a terrible idea that was most likely said out loud when everybody was drunk… I give the film 3 out of 4 stars.
Death Streamer (Full Moon) – Charles Band is working his black magic again of going back to what made Full Moon, Full Moon? Small cast, great location, and an interesting horror story to be told as it worked in the early 90s and it has been working again here in the 2020s. With this new bloodsucker film has a vampire live streaming his feedings at an S&M club to select viewers. But to the vampire’s disgust some web show investigators called ‘Church of Chills’ stumble upon this unique and intriguing show. They want to know if the murders are staged or actually real to get the clicks, the interest in their show uncovering this hidden gem. Once they dive head first into the history of the club they find out a lot more than they bargain for. Saying it out loud it may sound like you have seen several versions of this plot already but do me a favor and let your guard down on this one. It’s worth the quick watch as Mr. Band is clearly establishing a new wave of Full Moon fun in Cleveland, Ohio as I give this film 3 out of 4 stars.
Monster Bash (Tubi) – I can always look forward to Asylum Entertainment making hot garbage from time to time that is so damn watchable as you had me at Michael Madsen is Dr. Frankenstein. The good doctor is sending his monster out into the night to collect things for a certain experiment he needs to perform as his life is coming to an end. His goal is to become a god among men or to become an unkillable abomination by collecting certain things from Dracula, Mummy, The Invisible Man, and Wolfman. This causes an unlikely team-up to stop the madman Dr. Frankenstein. The movie is so terrible its brilliant as you should grab the friends and beer and enjoy this for what it is and be happy it exists as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Glowzies (Tubi) – So a trio of mountain bikers happens to come upon an old mill building that has been fenced off for years. But the three unleash something that has been trapped for the past three decades until the government can decide a proper clean up but have forgotten about it. Doesn’t take long for glowy-eyed zombies attacking people but that is the least of the plotlines here as the material making everyone a zombie is an alien element that had the government decide to leave the survivors there after they try to mind swipe them? Or just have old dudes called ‘the watchdogs’ to scream at anyone “don’t go up there” that comes even remotely close to the location. What’s the solution for the zombies, how about surf music as it makes their heads explode which allows me to give the film 2 stars.
Blood and Breakfast (Vimeo) – This Indy feature from Mark Byrne has worked in the Indy genre for several years and his latest project is a clever concept that stars a few familiar Indy vets that fans will enjoy. Story centers on an old fashion bed and breakfast ‘The Amberson House’ where several strangers staying there happen to share stories and understand they have all been survivors of a serial killer. The strangers staying at the inn after sharing their stories are now being picked off one by one. The film feels like an old school horror tale to be told but at the same time the film from beginning to end felt like it was missing something I could never put my finger on that would put it over big as I give it 2 out of 4 stars.
Chum (DVD) – Another Indy film project from Jason Graves where within a few years into the future the great white shark has gone extinct. But this hasn’t stopped scientists from engineering a new breed of shark to make a comeback. Of course learning nothing from ‘Jurassic Park’ the baby sharks get released and head off to chomp down on some humans in the closest small town. When describing the film or watching the trailer it looks fun but by the end you feel more annoyed than entertained by the baby rubber sharks as I give it 1 ½ stars.
Festival of the Living Dead (Tubi) – So this horror movie exists in some weird space for horror fans as its main plot is the events of ‘Night of the Living Dead’ in 1968 were real. Now fast forward to present time a young woman ‘Ash’ who is the granddaughter of Ben has a chance to attend the 55th Festival of the Living Dead music event that celebrates those who died then. Ash’s bestie Iris decides to watch Ash’s brother so she can have a birthday of a lifetime but instead after her boyfriend wrecks the car taking a short cut the group quickly figure out there is flesh-eaters taking over! The day quickly becomes the worst birthday ever as Ash, Iris, and friends must survive the zombie attack before they nuke the event in order to control the outbreak. I give the film 3 stars as it is a solid story and I may not be a fan of the end or ending of a certain character I do feel this will be a tough watch for horror fans or more specifically NOTLD fans to give a fair viewing? Before you judge this flick let’s remember horror fans there is a project called “Children of the Living Dead” and someone thought it was a good idea to film new footage to the original 1968 film? So take this one in with a grain of salt and I will be here to discuss after viewing if needed.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Salem’s Lot (Max/remake) – So apparently it was time to remake Tobe Hooper’s late 70s TV movie based on the Stephen King’s writing again… but wait first off why did this sit around as a finished film for a couple years and second did we really need an update after that TNT debacle in the early 2000s? Well, there really isn’t any good answer why this film sat around as other remakes of King’s work made it out there immediately. Now on the other thing I feel horror movie fans totally blanked out that this had been remade before but anyhow that is for another conversation. What this film did right was go back to having it set in the 70s of Jerusalem’s Lot as they gave it few little twists enough to make it different but in the same vein as the original. We get Barlow being creepy again, Ben Mears coming back to visit the small town for inspiration, but also we get a solid vampire film that comes under two hours. I was waiting for a shitshow instead you get something old horror fans like myself can show younger people and introduce them to a fun Stephen King movie adaption as I give it 3 stars.
Meth Gator (Tubi) – The movie didn’t start off wonderful as it didn’t believe in the “steadycam” mode for the first five minutes but don’t let that scare you off as Fred Olen Ray’s kid knew exactly what needed to be done. Anyway two meth makers are chased into the swamp of small town Florida to only drop their meth while being chased by cops. Of course it is eaten by a giant gator and we are off to the cliché race of the giant gator becoming an unstoppable human eating machine because it is seeking out more meth! Think ‘Jaws’ formula combined with ‘Cocaine Bear’. Hell even the mayor is a cool familiar face in Patrick Labyorteaux who plays a great dickhead mayor who could care less about the methed up gator. It is a solid horror film about a rampaging gator as I give it 3 stars. I do have to ask why the computerized gator runs like a bear, just an observation.
Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters (DVD) – The legend Donald Farmer is back behind the camera with a who’s who in front for this crazy devil shark Indy horror film. Those damn crazy nuns go raising the devil shark again to have their blessing in killing everyone, meanwhile we also get a priest who is haunted by his brother’s past and knows he must stop this devil shark. While the darklord hunts for its next victim Jessa Flux just wants wine and be at a beach but not that shark beach? If we are being honest here this movie comes off as a mess compared to some of the more recent work that Farmer has done. It isn’t terrible but I can’t tell Indy fans that it’s good either as I got to give it 1 ½ stars.
Blood Mountain Massacre (Tubi) – Yes kids, I have tracked down another “massacre” title and this was a fun one. A dangerous inmate has escaped prison transport and now stalks an all-girl band on the road. To keep the film interesting the killer wears a pig mask, they introduce another possible stalker, the music is actually good, throw in a couple of scumbags that run a bar, some actual thought out cool kills on a low budget, and the movie is played for laughs and we get one hell of a messy but fun horror film. To explain how serious the movie is besides the party scene of a band member bringing out a cement bag of cocaine we get a bartender telling a story that has very quotable hilarious lines about why he wears an eye patch such as: “Her pussy blew up!” and “The bar was full of VAG shrapnel!” I literally laughed the rest of the way through the movie because of the bartender story as I give the film 3 stars.
The Legend of Crick Foot (Vimeo) – First time filmmaker Bone Jawnson takes a cue from the original ‘The Legend of Boggy Creek’ (maybe?) to come up with an urban Sasquatch legend in Hatfield, Pa. The documentary or mockumentary is about a man who is trying to gather as much info about this legend in Hatfield through stories and interviews. But mainly the man is only finding empty hot dog wrappers and a mystery of what exactly is going on. Entertaining no budget Indy take on the Boggy Creek thing that I can give 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Strange Darling (On Demand) – This serial killer film definitely lived up to its title of being “strange”. The film is the tragic story of many lives taken by a serial killer that spanned a two year period in the Northwest area of the U.S. It is told in six chapters out of order but if it was told in order the movie would have been a very boring concept. The killer spirals out of control after a weird kinky meeting between a man and a woman in a hotel room. That’s about the gist of this strange film because if I say anymore I will give it away and I rather you watch it and decide if this is for you as it just came off more weird than anything to me as I give it 2 stars. The biggest issue with this film will be the rewatchablity so good luck if you feel different.
Halloween Horror Tales (DVD) – A 2018 Indy anthology directed by Jeff Kirkendall that takes place in the small town of Barnum where strange things have always happened. First story is about a killer clown where the victim kills the wrong clown. The second story is a different take on a horror hostess bit. Third story is a no budget story about a killer plant that harkens back to some of the old school 50s flicks. The fourth and final story is about a vampire but the investigator not believing in the bloodsucker was actually kind of refreshing. All the stories were interesting, solid, and Kirkendall knew to keep this at a great running time that makes me encourage Indy fans to check this Halloween fright flick out as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
The Addams Family: Halloween Special (YouTube) – This 1977 TV movie on NBC was actually supposed to be a pilot to bring back the show as most of the regulars showed up to be presented in color. The Addams is celebrating their favorite time of the year Halloween, with a special celebration but of course some crooks come to steal the riches from the spooky family and fail horribly. John Astin and Carolyn Jones as Gomez and Morticia waste no time falling back into their hilarious characters and keep this pseudo pilot full of laughs keeping that old school magic from the original show. If you are a fan and never seen this it’s easy to find on the YouTube and the Tubi so enjoy as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Parasite Lady (Full Moon) – A more recent Chris Alexander Full Moon feature or sorts (43 minutes) is a tasteful artsy vampire film. A female vamp is not just seeking pleasure of the flesh but companionship as she tries to understand why she was turned into a bloodsucker in the first place. Visually it looks amazing but many vampire movie fans are going to find it tough getting through the artsy plot. Not into the artsy stuff you will wanna pass but if you are like me and wasn’t happy with some Alexander’s work you may find this a little more satisfying as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Nano Shark (Tubi) – Maybe one of the surprises of 2024 is this entertaining shark film from filmmaker Brett Kelly. New tech has allowed scientists to possibly shrink a shark down to almost nothing to enter a boy’s bloodstream to seek out and kill a rare blood disease. But… you guessed it a janitor has the tiny shark and the tiny sub injected into his backside by accident. Now it’s up to the military sub team to guide the shark out of his peen hole before it goes back to its original size! Think ‘Innerspace’ with a shark on no budget. Just when you thought the shark ideas were done this hilarious flick comes along and proves there was one more shark movie related idea out there as I give this 3 ½ out of 4 stars.
Devil’s Knight (Vimeo) – A one-eyed stranger comes out of the woods to tell the story of “The Lost Blades” an elite group of monster hunters. During a two hundred year war in the realm of Veroka where nations fought this allowed monsters and creatures to thrive and now they terrorize humans in this realm. King Samuel tired of this nonsense hires these so-called monster hunters to put an end to the demon’s reign over his people. This man is the last of the group still searching for this horrific creature. Fantasy film with some cool effects, full of creatures, and a few big names makes this an interesting find for movie fans who are constantly searching the streaming sites for a solid film to watch as I give this 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Tin Roof (Blu-ray) – Rising star in filmmaker Rebecca Rinehart returns to the director’s chair with her latest feature that takes place at Cedar Falls Summer Camp. The wonderful summer camp after decades of being open is about to be closed because of several accidental deaths that worries the mayor. But others who grew up going there don’t want it to close and try to come up with a solution to save the camp. The five friends who are trying to save the camp decide to go back to Cedar Falls Summer Camp so they can get digital content to get the word out about the closing. But it becomes a big problem when a terrible event occurs that causes the group to uncover a long hidden truth about the deaths. This movie felt like it never got quite going like it was missing a gear or something that makes the story pop. Saying that Rebecca is a talented filmmaker and if it makes any sense I feel she hasn’t found that right project to show off how good she is but hope she keeps trying as I give this project 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Accion Mutante (4K/Blu-ray) – This rarely seen but much celebrated Spanish/French production from 1992 finally has gotten the restoration treatment from Severin and allows us to remove our U.S. bootlegs under the title ‘Mutant Action’ from our collections. This post-apocalyptic dark comedy cult hit is set in a future time where good looking people rule the world and a terrorist group of so-called mutants plan a kidnapping. Ramon and others of ‘Mutant Action’ kidnap the daughter of Orujo and during their getaway things do not go as planned including the daughter falling in love with Ramon. Ramon double crosses his team in order to collect the ransom but of course that doesn’t go as planned either as the best way to describe this cult film is: a crazy sci-fi film of chaos from beginning to end. This new release has all kind of goodies for fans to enjoy and highly recommend this film of Alex de la Iglesia to anyone that looks for something different to watch on a regular basis as I give it 4 stars.
Sting (DVD) – An American/Australian production about a space rock hitting earth landing in a dollhouse of an apartment. The rock hatches with a space spider emerging and being found by a young girl named Charlotte who moves through the duct work of the apartments. She places it in a jar, gives it the name ‘Sting’, and begins to feed it. The space spider wastes no time escaping to feed on small animals and quickly humans in order for it to grow and learn. There is a lot going on around Charlotte story wise but that doesn’t take away from we got a space spider trying to eat up everyone in this apartment building during a cold snap. Give this fun killer spider stuff 4 stars.
Immaculate (DVD) – A young woman Cecilia is heading to a convent in Italy where she was directed to go and take her vows. After a few weeks of being there and finding her place in the convent it is revealed she is prego without sin. Of course there is some strangeness surrounding the event as she cannot escape the convent but apparently the symbol of Jesus’ sacrifice will get you prego?! Along the way Cecilia uncovers there has been many failures but she is the exception as she will give birth to an unholy demon. Had a tough time getting through this one especially seeing ‘The First Omen’ before this and believe they did it better? But this one just left me feeling meh as I can only give it 2 stars.
Lisa Frankenstein (DVD) – Every once in a while we get a horror film/dark comedy that is able to grab horror fans and non-horror fans together and this was the one for 2024. Lisa is a young lady who hasn’t found love yet but does quite enjoy spending time in the local cemetery that is considered haunted. Her obsession of one grave in the cemetery is brought to life one night after a strange storm. The young man from the grave comes to visit Lisa sending her into a frenzy of helping her undead friend soon to be boyfriend as she sews human parts to him. Yes, there is a scene of Lisa sewing a dick to her undead boyfriend. As the bodies begin to pile up Lisa learns there will be a price to pay for finding love. This retro horror flick set in 1989 carries that ‘Heathers’ vibe of dark but fun horror/comedy style that plays like a Disney teen flick gone to the dark side as I give it 3 ½ stars.
K. The Butcher Shitter (YouTube/remake) – First, just a little background on watching this flick. The digital screener and trailer got the filmmaker’s YouTube channel banned so it was sent to me by download. Second, for those who may not know this is a remake of ‘Violent Shit 2’ which talented filmmaker Alex Wesley had total consent from Andreas Schnaas to go make an updated version in his own vision as Alex and those who worked on the project were huge fans of the original series. Set in October 1992 a reporter is looking into the cruelest murders ever committed and surprised to learn Karl the Butcher had a son. Now the son is on a gory rampage in the forest to avenge his father as his mother looks on. It has all the craziness of the original you expect to please fans like nudity, cannibalism, gore, bloody boobs, a dick being cut off, and head drilling. You know everything to satisfy the small but rabid fan base of this movie series. Like it, hate it, never heard of it you got to respect this low budget gore film and its history as it’s not exactly my cup of tea but I do know ‘Violent Shit’ fans will be happy there is another entry to this long running series as I give it 3 out of 4 stars so enjoy.
Spooks Run Wild (DVD) – A lost art of a cheap comedy from 1941 where Bela Lugosi appears as a bootleg Dracula named Nardo but there is more to it than that. Some underprivileged teenagers are sent to a camp outside of town to help get them on the right path. But the same night they show up not only it is reported a monster is on the loose near the town, a strange man shows up to the old Billings estate that has sat empty for years. The boys escape under darkness from the camp and stumble into the estate after one of their buddies is shot in a graveyard nearby. From there weird hilarious things happen causing the boys to be scared of the strange man Nardo and his assistant who suddenly showed up to lurk around the estate. Think low budget Three Stooges in a strange haunted house as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
So this just happened and the Gross Brothers are so happy to be a part of these! Head on over to http://www.lunchmeatvhs.com and get you a copy of Bathtub Shark Attack and Spirit Animal on beautiful VHS! Thanks to Josh Schafer and Ted Gilbert for making this a reality and also to everyone who has been a part of making these amazing films!
Splatter Theater: Behind the Scenes (DVD) – In summer of 2011 filmmaker Sean Donohue filmed a behind the scenes documentary of a live stage show called ‘Splatter Theater’ in Tampa, Florida. I being me always interested in some of Sean’s earlier work I was able to come in possession of this project. A younger Sean Donohue was able to catch all the gory lead up to the day the show open to the public as we get a lot of Styx soundtrack through the 40 minute film. Also a fun cool present on this same DVD is Sean’s short film ‘Bloody English’ where a pantry-sniffing psycho waits inside a home to kill a couple. The short is followed up by an interview of Sean and his work on the short film. But my question into this early work especially while he did this interview segment, “what is up with that weird bruise on your head dude?” If you are one of those people that like seeing how stuff gets constructed then you’ll enjoy Sean’s early work here as I give it 3 out of 4 stars.
Joe Vampire (DVD) – Another early Sean Donohue project that he co-directed with Mike Niche in 2012 and released in 2014. This feature stars Mike Christopher from ‘Dawn of the Dead’ fame as Joe Vampire who was bitten during the Civil War but now deals with today’s society of just trying to blend in the background. A young woman named Melissa catches the eye of Joe while at a hole in the wall bar where they don’t exactly hit it off until Joe Vampire saves her in the alley from being assaulted. From there the two quickly develop a connection and after a renewed conversation Joe feels the need to come out to Melissa that he is a vampire. Instead of being scared off she becomes obsessed with becoming part of the undead. Now enters an old friend in Drake to Joe and not so good things could be coming for Joe Vampire and his afterlife. This is one of those projects in my opinion has a great concept but wrong lead actor? Mike Christopher didn’t do anything wrong and clearly has a connection with the Melissa character that goes beyond the screen but felt a lesser known lead actor might have been the way to go in this Indy project as I give 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In (On Demand) – A young man Chan Lok-kwun looking to be paid for his services so he can get his ID is screwed over by Mr. Big (Sammo Hung). In turn Chan grabs a bag believing its money and not a sack full of drugs and goes running from the gang. Its 1980 Hong Kong and Chan get chased into the citadel. This is a walled off society from the rest of Hong Kong that actually existed! Chan might be able to defend himself against the thugs of Mr. Big but he cannot defend himself when he is facing ‘the barber’. This older man hands Chan his ass without dropping his cigarette and explains if he stays he must become a functional part of what they all do there. The young man just wants to make enough money in order to travel and get his ID but slowly the real identity of Chan comes out that causes Mr. Big and son to try a takeover of the walled in city! The fight scenes are unlike some of the most top notch stuff on screen and this story just sucks you into this 1980 Hong Kong universe. If you are a fan of such titles ‘The Raid’ or ‘Triple Threat’ please give this action/fantasy a try because this will be one of the best movies you watch in 2024 as I give it 4 stars.
Jason in Indianapolis A Friday the 13th Tribute (YouTube) – The film is a fan made project from Samuel L. Schmucker who has made a few fan films in his career so this shouldn’t be a surprise but also got cameos from CJ Graham, Bill Russell, Mel Heflin, and Heather Harlow. To put this version in perspective it looks like this Jason is before part four and six where Jason still has some human traits. So one day Jason kills an Indy wrestler in the woods of Crystal Lake and “mother” begins to speak to Jason about a house a few states away? Along the way Jason is spotted in several wooded areas and kills all who comes near until he reaches his destination. According to news sources this abandoned house somehow belongs in the Voorhees family? Not one of the most exciting fan films plus Jason crossing state lines didn’t really work in ‘Jason Takes Manhattan’ so viewer beware as I could only give this 1 out of 4 stars.
Buttcrack (DVD) – A rather odd film released by Troma and that is saying a lot that was released in 1998 about a young man Brian and his annoying roommate Wade nicknamed “Buttcrack”. Brian has wanted to get more serious with his girlfriend Annie but Wade keeps getting in the way with his buttcrack. One day Brian accidentally kills Wade in the bathroom only to be cursed by Wade’s sister who happens to be a witch. Not long before an undead Wade pays a visit to Brian believing everything is good but with the help of Preacher Man Bob they are both in agreement something needs to be done to put Wade back in his resting place. The film then becomes a hilarious misadventure of dealing with the undead. I have known about the film for many years as I just never found time to watch it. Always one of those films that kept slipping my mind when I would hit the video store, etc., and wish I would have watched it years ago as I believe the film didn’t exactly thrill me at this time? Maybe it’s because I wasn’t a huge Mojo Nixon fan? Was never into him so that could have impacted my opinion? If anything I do respect the cult following of this project and finally glad I did find the time to watch this feature as I give it 2 ½ stars and cross it off the list of stuff I need to watch.
Zombeez (Tubi) – Some small town farms are losing honeybee hives for unknown reasons in this low budget feature. This concerns Jess the coroner as she sells honey on the side and knows this could affect the whole town? Along comes Jake the bug guy to investigate the problem but the real problem is Jake left Jess at the altar three years ago so it is a little messy trying to figure out what’s wrong with the bees. Quickly the bees begin to attack and kill people so the mystery isn’t so much about the chemical that mutated the bees that are now killing people but how you can kill the bees? With weed smoke folks! You had me at CGI zombie bees but there is no way this movie should have pushed 100 minutes as this would have been perfect at 65 or 70 minutes… But still a fun cheesy low budget pick for those like me that love killer bee flicks as I give it 2 ½ stars.
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
Okay folks October 5th, Saturday,11-1… You can take pictures with director Maddie Deering and Bill Thummer (aka Tim Gross, yes I will be dressed as the character) promoting Bathtub Shark Attack and Tales from the Gross Side co-directed with Daniel Boyd. Pics will be free , all we ask is not just check out our Indy films but the others that will be around us!!! Cinema Wasteland or www.cinemawasteland.com for more details on the whole event October 4-6, 2024!
Crocodile Evil (DVD) – Some Asian cinema weirdness from 1986 that just saying “Flying ghost Crocs” would not explain everything but would love for it to be that. A man has to head to Thailand only to be killed for helping out a young lady. Now his younger brother becomes extremely ill and something about two masters fighting over a magical bracelet that could affect the fate of the world if it falls into the wrong hands. It’s weird and I am sure I still don’t understand what I watched but let’s give it 2 stars anyway.
Oddity (DVD) – One night a woman staying in a newly bought old ass mansion is murdered viciously. A year later her husband is moving on with the hot girlfriend and talk of marriage but before he does he wants to visit his dead wife’s sister Darcy who just happens to run the bootleg ‘Friday the 13th TV series’ oddity shop in town. Ted hands her a glass eye from the person who killed her sister but the sister gets an impression from the eye because being blind has given her psychic powers. Somewhere in Ted’s mind he believes he is moving on but Darcy wants to visit Ted and his girlfriend at the house. She needs to feel it, be in it, but also has brought a mysterious trunk with her. For me it felt like a slow burn that tries to be a couple different things (ex: paranormal) but never fully commits to it which in the end was only okay for me as I give it 2 stars.
A Quiet Place: Day One – In this prequel we are introduced to a young woman who happens to be in a hospice center and dying at all too early age. She has come to grips with it but has a wish before she leaves this place of existence. As she goes for a day trip into New York City with the rest of the folks forty, fifty years older than her to a theater that is when the “attack happens”. The alien monsters hit earth as the woman gets lost in a dust cloud as many including military are being slaughtered everywhere. The breakdown of society goes quickly as the creatures hunt by sound and what’s left of the city’s population hides. In all this chaos and end of the earth shit our young lady Samira just wants a certain slice of pizza from a place in Harlem! This is her story of just surviving long enough to eat her favorite pizza and become friends with someone who is just as lost in the world as her. A lot of prequels make the mistake of being a prequel or easy money for studios making that decision as I am usually not a fan. But this film sets itself apart by telling a story that has nothing to do what horror fans have already seen but keeping it in the same realm. Great story telling, great cast, and made you legit care for the Samira character! This is another example of why I believe there could be countless sequels or prequels to the ‘Puppet Master’ series if Charles Band really wanted too but that is for another horror nerd conversation. Horror movie fans go into this cold without rewatching the other films as you will appreciate this that much more as I gotta give it 3 ½ stars.
The Horror (Blu-ray) – This is an Indy clip show of sorts of a talented handsome young man Jason Crowe who has directed, written, or acted in over 70 films over his career. It is clips from several projects starring Jason that is all over the place with condensed clips of aliens, blood, zombies, time travel and more. Great starter film for fans if they wanted to check out what some of Jason Crowe’s projects are all about as I give this 3 out of 4 stars.
Phobo Phobia (Blu-ray) – An anthology hosted by “the final ghoul” herself Jessa Flux as she takes you on a ride through the fear of fear. She shares six tales of fear: fear of clowns, fear of enclosed spaces, fear of witchcraft, fear of burglars, fear of wild animals, and the fear of aliens. All the entries are solid, look great, good cast, and not a bad entry in the bunch but here is the weird thing none of the six really stand out which is something I never thought I would hear myself saying? This is actually an oddity among the bloated Indy genre of anthologies as all involved should be proud of that as I give this anthology 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
The Legacy (Blu-ray) – This is a 2009 Indy slasher from Jason Crowe who also directed and stars in it along with a quick appearance from ex-wrestler Al Snow. The film comes screaming out of the gates with blood, boobs, and shaky cam to set the tone in the first few minutes. Of course a few friends head out to the woods for some camping and partying so when the story of the ‘Reaper’ killers is told that is when this mess of a movie really switches gears with buckets of blood and sometimes hilarious content. The film doesn’t overdue it all with its 61 minute running time, cool casting of Indy vets Katie Stewart, Roni Jonah, and Jim O’Rear, and the hilarious reshoot edits that have been edited in at certain points. It might be a clear mess of an Indy slasher but it is a very lovable and memorable one worth seeking out as I give it 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Amityville Turkey Day (Tubi) – Yinz can thank me later as this is entry #63 and a direct sequel to ‘Amityville Thanksgiving’. The sequel is still following the missteps of Dr. Frank Domonico and his missing patients who has become the talk of the town of Amityville. A so-called filmmaker Rocco has one last chance to make a film for a small studio and it will be a mockumentary about the good doctor taking advantage of the couples on Thanksgiving. They set up in the doctor’s house for filming of the project but also they are sent a package containing a puppet mutant turkey that lurks around set. When the mutant turkey ain’t possessing people it is trying to eat them. This all sounds like a fun mess to watch until you get about halfway through and feel like they just got lost in their own project as scenes of conversations just linger for way too long to pad the feature film. You didn’t need to pad it folks… you are making a sequel to a legit letdown of a holiday film and you introduced a mutant puppet turkey!!! This could have been so much more fun but once again the trailer is so much better than the finished project as I can only give this entry 1 out of 4 stars.
Motivational Growth (DVD) – Ian is a depressed man who all but just lives in his apartment like a hermit until he comes to the conclusion it is time to commit suicide in the bathroom. In his failed attempt Ian slips and smacks his head off the tub to knock his ass out only he wakes to a big glob of mold in the corner talking to him. Oh by the way the mold is voiced by Jeffrey Combs who begins to converse with Ian and give him advice. Ian believing this isn’t too weird eventually is convinced to eat a piece of the mold and that is when the weird stuff really happens! As the hallucinations continue and bodies pile up Ian falls deeper into the mold’s world. Is Ian dead? Did Ian dream everything? Or is it Groundhog Day for Ian? This weird tale will leave you with more questions of what you watched but you will enjoyed you did as I give this 3 stars.
Black Mold (Tubi) – A thriller of sorts or at least the setup of one as two photographers go take pictures of abandoned places for their art. Things are going well until they enter a mysterious old government facility called Franklin Hill where the two get great pictures until they encounter a hobo. The crazed hobo knocks them out until he can figure if “they” have sent them to take him away? It becomes a slow downward spiral into the two friends trying to figure out how to get back home but instead become combative. If you enjoy slow building and crazy this will be the thriller for you but for me this left me wanting a little more but that may have been the plan of this feature all along as I give it 2 ½ stars.
The Convent (4K/Blu-ray) – So finally making its way to the new physical format for horror fans is this wonderfully perfect horror film that put the name Mike Mendez on the tip of most horror fans in 2000. In 1960 a young woman Christine returns to a boarding school she attended to completely destroy nuns and a priest that took her baby that causes the shutdown of the convent. Some college kids 40 years later of course feel the need to break in to party and see if it’s really haunted?! The cops show up to chase the young people out and we are led to believe a young lady who is on parole is hiding but kidnapped by a demon only to find out it is a group of Satanists who are trying to sacrifice a virgin? No cops around so the kids decide to break back in only to raise the demons from hell that have waited for them along with amateur Satanists as complete gory chaos ensues. One girl survives the demon possessed gorefest and she must get an older Christine to help put an end to the demons that never rest. After Christine sets the legend straight she agrees to go and put this to a final end as every five years or so these demons keep looking for a virgin?! Extras for this beauty include: uncut version of the film, audio commentary from cast and crew, another commentary from “the lords of hell”, video tour of locations, original press kit, deleted scene, gore outtakes and more. This film gives off that joyful ‘Night of the Demons’ and ‘Evil Dead’ vibe that is just priceless and made horror fans be excited for any Mike Mendez project that came after the 2000 feature as I give this 4 out of 4 stars. You can purchase the 4k version at www.synapsefilms.com of course.
Killers (Blu-ray) – This 1996 low budget feature is the debut film of Mike Mendez and features the James Brothers who killed their parents. This of course sends the brothers to Deathrow as they killed them in cold blood until one stormy night the high profile duo escape prison. The duo knocks on a door of a perfect family home only to hold them up at gun point and hide from authorities. The duo bound the father and weirdly finds out the wife and daughters are huge fans of the murderous brothers which turns this thriller upside down. The James Brothers believe they are in a safe place until the story takes a strange turn as authorities going door to door to find them causes the family to show they have secrets of their own (example: Castle Freak shit going down). This feels like a weird dream sequence mash up of 90s movie violence splashed together into a 96 minute package? The extras for this Blu-ray include: uncut version of the movie, a director’s commentary, and an alternate ending which might be the most interesting thing of this project because it shows how important editing is and how editing can effect a tone of a movie… Definitely not the usual low budget horror stuff from the 90s you would expect as I give it 3 out of 4 stars and be purchased at www.synapsefilms.com .
Plus you can always go to the greatest T-shirt place online or if you are in Texas visit the store of “Fast Custom Shirts” where T-shirt Joe is the only place you should purchase your horror T-shirts: Go to www.fastcustomshirts.com and support!
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